All language subtitles for S06E16 - Stradi-Various

What are you doing? I'm hiding from Ian.
It's a coast clear.

You think this is easy for me?

Okay, Magic.

Do your stuff.

Is that the violin? That's my violin!

I'm Mr. Violin!

What is it, an instant replay? I just
said a violin.

If the line forms on the right base...
These are the same songs I'd learn with

Tool. Confusing.

Let's start at the beginning.

And right here is where you start
paying.

What?

I'm going to live forever.

Baby, remember my name.

Get

back here,

bullet. I need my turn.

I bet you're wondering why the sudden
interest in a violin.

It has nothing to do with chamber music.

You see, the violin is magical. That's
what they believe.

Confusing?

Let's start at the beginning.

I've been looking for a new apartment.

An experience any New Yorker would
gladly exchange for root canal work.

Mr. Sharofsky, my azalea is suffocating
and I don't know what to do.

Dial 911.

I'm sorry, I'm not in the best of moods.
Something wrong?

Two years I've been on the waiting list
for an apartment on West 57th Street.

Today the landlord tells me I'm number
34.

Oh, apartment hunting in New York is the
pips.

If I could stand a commute, I'd consider
Vermont.

Good night, Mrs. Blair.

Oh, Mr. Swarovski, I almost forgot. This
package came for you.

It's from Germany.

Amazing.

This package was mailed February 5th.
Well, that's not so long ago.

February 5th, 1947.

The first music I ever heard was played
on that instrument.

Perhaps it's what got me interested in
music.

But mine was not the only life affected
by that violin. Come, I'll show you.

Loose lanes.

And a distinguished alumnus is
performing.

Macintosh.

Macintosh.

Look out on Macintosh.

Catch you in a minute, all right?

In a minute. Hey.

You two, how about catching a movie?

I can't, man. I got midterms.

Come on, man. You said that last night.

We could get some company.

I can't. I can't.

I can't.

God, you always get the pretty one
anyway.

You know what I mean.

You made me lose my page. What are you
doing? Get out of here.

It's your loss, okay? It's your loss.

You know, that guy's got everything
going for him. He doesn't have to worry

about exams, nothing.

Nah, just his career.

Come on, the guy's got a job. Hey, you
want a job? I got one for you.

I need someone to promote my new entree.

Chicken a la Lou.

It's a great way to get noticed.

Lou, if you think I'm hanging outside
just in a chicken suit, you're out of

mind.

He's late.

He's always late.

See him.

God, that must be so annoying. How do
you stand that every time you guys go

We're not going out.

We're just friends. Right.

Then why are you so upset?

I'm not upset.

You did great.

One large zucchini pizza. Yeah. Anything
else?

Oh, just the antidote.

Don't laugh. I saw your uncle giving a
blood transfusion to a tomato.

Kill it before it multiplies.

It's so funny.

You ever thought about doing stand -up?

No, I'm just funny sitting down.

No, you should try it. I bet Uncle Ruth
would give you a shot. You think so?

I'll do it.

It's easy to make you guys laugh, but a
whole routine?

Oh, come on, Jesse. You never know
unless you try it.

I'm not trying to.

Shall we go?

Shall we go?

Whatever happened to I'm sorry I'm
later? She made you look nice tonight.

What's with you?

I'll tell you what's with me. For eight
months now, we've been going out to the

movies, and not once have you offered to
pick me up at home.

It's easier to meet here. We always meet
here.

Do you want to meet at the moon, do you
think?

My Uncle Zef was a bit of an elf.

Did you really believe the violin was
magic?

Those were sad times in Germany when I
was growing up.

Magic was as much a creation of hope as
anything else.

Whenever I was upset, Uncle Zef would
play for me and tell me the story of the

violin.

Many years ago, Uncle Zef had a daughter
who was unhappy.

She hadn't found true love.

Then my Uncle Zef had an idea.

He would build her a magic violin.

Not even the lovely music could make
Helga smile.

At night she cried herself to sleep, and
in her dream...

The next morning she awoke to find her
dream had come true.

It's a beautiful story.

Mr. Shirovsky, you think that really
happened? Probably not.

Well, why not wish for something anyway?

There's nothing to wish for.

Everybody's got something that they
want.

Yeah, come on, Mr. Shirovsky.

Come on, one for Uncle Del.

Okay. This one even he would have
trouble with.

I wish for a new apartment.

Okay.

Back to work.

Mrs. Swarovski, you got a phone call.
Something about an apartment being

Got his wish?

Come on, it had to have been a
coincidence.

Two and a half year waiting period? I'd
say that's some coincidence.

Sure would be happening if the wishes
came true.

It's extreme, but no wonder, Jillian,
there are powers in this world that no

can explain.

Yeah, hey, maybe Uncle Jeb is really on
to something.

Are you trying to say that that violence
is... Magic.

Listen to you guys, Danny, come here.
Why not?

Look.

It's all an illusion. The hands are
quicker than the eyes.

That was just a trick.

Hey, Chief.

Sorry, I was a bit late last night.

I hope you aren't too out of school.

Okay.

Are we still friends?

Yes, we're still friends.

Good, because don't let me bother you.
I'm going to go and find her.

Do you ever get the urge to, I don't
know, maybe do something nice for a girl

for a change?

Come again?

You know, like, try to bring her flowers
or candy or something.

Oh.

You mean, whisper sweet nothings into
her ears.

Not bloody likely.

Yeah, you're right.

That's what we thought anyway.

I was just kidding.

Aren't you in my history class?

Yeah.

Well, hi. I'm Danny.

Danny Amatulo. Nice to meet you, Denise
Hudson.

How you doing? Good.

Am I hanging like you?

That's all right. I'm not crazy about
it. Amatulo.

I got a call back from Park on the sofa.

Congratulations. Yeah.

You're Chris Tomlin, aren't you? I've
heard you sing at Lou's. You're really

good. You've got wonderful taste.

Hey, me and Denise were just discussing
something. You know, we've got nothing.

Well, a little bit.

Let's do a duet sometime.

Like tonight after my show, huh?

Great. Okay, great.

Kiss you then. All right.

Bye. Yeah.

What are you doing?

You know, I'm over here trying to make
time with her. Why don't you say

something? I didn't. I tried.

You know, you're just too busy being
Donalyn and Otis. What's with you,

What's with me?

You know, you always get what you want.
Don't you care about anybody else?

Just think about it, all right, Donalyn?

Jesse, you are good.

I mean, you can't stop trying at this.

Oh, look, I'm telling you, being a
comedian is not my style.

I am a serious comedian.

Hey, Red, how about a soda at Louie's?

I'm not in the mood.

You okay?

Yeah, of course I'm okay.

Why shouldn't I be okay? I like Ian just
the way he is.

You're not one of those girls that needs
gifts and affection to feel

appreciated. Look, whatever makes you
happy. I'm happy.

Rocky, what's the big hurry?

Moving into my new apartment.

Okay, Magic.

Do your stuff.

Reggie. A guy on the corner was telling
me then.

I don't know what came over me.

Here.

A little tucking.

And you love it. All right. How do you
like that?

Candlelight, flowers, and pizza?

I even think he's paying for it.

Jesse, on the other hand, you'll be the
judge. And I go to the School of the

Arts.

It's a pretty unique concept.

We don't get graded. We get reviewed.

Some pretty tough critics, too. I mean,
I got a rave in history, but I panned in

math. He panned in math?

Panned in math.

Hey, it wasn't funny the first time.

Our cafeteria food is really something.

You want to know how bad our food is?
Probably not half as bad as these jokes.

Hey, pal, why don't you just shut up and
enjoy the show?

Sure, when's it starting?

The way to get laughs is not by beating
up a customer. Look, Jess, don't worry

about it. Next time, we're just going to
lighten you up a little bit, and you'll

be just fine.

No way. No way. There's not going to be
a next time.

Hey, you're gorgeous.

How you doing, little buddy? Hey, come
on. Enough of that little buddy stuff.

I'm sorry about Denise, but she came on
to me, man. What could I say?

She's magnetism of mine.

Oh, come on, Emmett. You can't stay mad
at me, and you know it. Now give me a

smile. Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Give me. There you go.

There you go.

Listen, I'm going to do my next set.

I'll catch you later, okay? Got it. All
right.

Kiss my ass.

That's Donovan.

No, he's such a nickel head.

There ain't nobody like Donovan. Can I
get a bag of chestnuts, please? Sure.

Dusty, if that violin's really magical,
you know, I wouldn't wish for gold. I

would wish for jewel.

You know what I wish for? What?

Just to be a little bit more like
Donovan.

Even if that violin does have some kind
of magic to it, you don't want to mess

with that stuff.

It ain't nothing but trouble.

You know Dusty, you're probably right.

Mm -hmm.

I'll see you tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

Hey, Dusty.

Aren't you Danny Amatulo?

Yeah. You know him?

Sure do.

You're a friend of Chris Donlan's,
right?

I was wondering if you could introduce
me to him. I really shy around guys like

Chris.

How you doing?

Hi, Danny.

How you doing, Denise?

Okay.

Are you going to meet me?

Yeah. I kind of had a year for pasta.

See ya.

Yeah.

Denise, wait a minute.

Hey, look.

I know the best Italian restaurant in
New York. You do?

Yeah, with a name like Amatulo. Come on,
trust me.

Best spinach you need in town.

First Reggie, now Danny. That's two
down.

But what about Jesse? Well, magic works
in mysterious ways.

Fascinating dream.

Maury, Amsterdam.

What are you doing here?

Beats me. I came looking for Joan
Collins.

Too bad she'll miss me.

Oh, well.

Kind of happy to be here anyway.

Better than being at home with my wife's
pickles.

You know how she got the name of
Pickles?

No, how'd she get the name of Pickles?
Funny you should ask.

You see, her father used to raise
Pickles. I didn't know that. Yeah.

And you know how he made them beautiful?

He planted them upside down, and instead
of warts, they had dimples.

It's tough being a stand -up comic. I
don't know why he wants to do it. Look

Milton Berle. But I want to make people
laugh.

Well, then don't look at Milton Berle.

Oh, and I'll tell you another thing.

Never use a cello. It's too big.

It's a drag getting it on and off the
subways.

Here's what you use.

It's a violin.

A violin?

What is this, an instant replay? I just
said a violin. Yeah, it's terrific.

Look what it did for Jack Benny and
Henny Youngman.

Youngman. Youngman.

Youngman.

Now, how many people can say they
dreamed of Maury, Amsterdam?

But then again, how many people want to?

Anyway, let's move on to the following
day.

And see how the lovebirds are doing.

Ballet tickets?

Yes. I thought we'd pick you up to have
seven.

Okay. What are you doing for lunch?

I was going to meet Dusty and Gillian.

I'd sort of planned a little picnic
lunch.

Just the two of us.

I guess I could cancel.

Good.

One word, I'll ask us.

Viola.

Well, in case you're wondering, I'm a
drama major.

Hey, Chris, you got an early show? No,
no, I just had to stop by Lou's to pick

up the jackets for my callback.

Daytime drama.

All right, there you go.

What's happening, big buddy? What's
going on?

Dan took me out to dinner last night, so
this morning I brought him breakfast.

I thought you were going to stop by
Lou's last night.

I was, but then I ran into Danny.

What can I say?

It's magnetism.

You okay, man?

Yeah, why?

There's something different about you,
Amatulo.

What are you talking about?

Everything's cool.

See you later, little buddy.

No, it couldn't be.

Why? Well, Danny was saying that he
wished he had more of what you got.

And he made a wish.

And maybe it's coming true.

What you mean he's gonna end up with the
world that I got yeah, he got to me.

Maybe I'm not just working Come on
doctor. There's no such thing as magic

Welcome

back Bet you're wondering how just

he's doing with his comedy Well, we're
not here lose for nothing

Oh, here's a little something I
composed.

Feel free to sing along.

What? What? What? You don't know the
words?

That's okay. I don't know the music.

Thank you.

Jesse,

Fred Dugan. I'm a talent scout for the
Comedy Stop. You're terrific.

How would you like to audition for us?
Yeah, sure.

Great. Call me tomorrow.

You know, Ian, you walked me to school
today. You waited for me after every

class. We met for lunch, and now we're
going to the ballet.

We've spent every possible moment
together.

That's great, isn't it?

Uh -huh.

Where are you going?

Ian, there are some things a woman
really must do alone.

Where's that from your clothes?

Yeah, Dugan. I know him. He's a good
guy.

Hello.

Darling, where are you?

Hey, I'm still waiting for my call, man.
It's taking forever.

You know, you could have called earlier.

The band already showed up. I got to pay
them.

Look, I'll be an hour or so late. What's
the big deal?

Darling, I try to be flexible.

Least you could do is be a bit more
dependable.

Look, Lou.

Christopher Donlan.

Lou, I got to go. They're calling me. I
got to go.

Donlan.

The place is packed and I got no
headliner.

So let me help you out.

About two comedy acts in one night? Nah,
forget the comedy. I'll sing.

I mean, don't let the band go to waste,
Lou. Yeah, why not?

Come on.

What the hell?

Ladies and gentlemen, the rockin' sounds
of Danny Amatullo.

Hold a sharp bend as such teeth deal.

And it shows them curly white.

Just a jackknife has old Mac Heath
baked.

And he keeps it out of sight.

You know when that shark bites with his
cheap bait.

Scarlet billows start to spread.

Fancy gloves, though, has old Mac Heath.

there's never never a trace of red now
on the sidewalk

oh sunday morning uh -huh lots of body

just oozing light and someone's feet

river don't you know where a cement bag
just drooping on down

oh that cement is just there for the
wait dear

if i forget your ten oh mackie's back in
town

apart, hotshot? I'm not sure. I gotta go
back tomorrow afternoon.

Back in time!

Was my little buddy warming up for me or
what?

Your little buddy is filling in for you
tonight.

Look out, old Mackie, it's back!

It's not for me to do, huh?

For you?

I got the perfect job.

Poor baby, I do love you, but I want to
send you someplace where you'll be

happier.

Not doing so well, are we? Oh, Mr.

Sharofsky, could I put my azalea in your
classroom for a while? The sunlight

might do it some good.

I'm moved by your love of nature.

Oh, I just adore plants.

If this doesn't work, I'm going to chuck
it.

I was, um, cleaning it.

I wasn't cleaning it. I was putting it
back.

Um, I borrowed it for my comedy act.

I thank you not to borrow things without
permission.

Yes, sir.

Listen, Mr. Swarovski, um, I have an
audition coming up at the comedy stop,

I was wondering if, um, maybe you could
lend me?

No. Good day, Mr. Swarovski.

Oh, Mr. Velasquez.

Yes, sir?

Close the door.

Close the door.

It's Jillian.

What are you doing?

Hiding from Ian. Is the coast clear?

Yeah. What is wrong?

He won't leave me alone.

Like I said, what's wrong?

He follows me everywhere. He calls me
every night. He's showering me with

attention. I thought that's what you
wanted.

Julie, I wanted to touch a romance. This
is an avalanche. First it was fun, but

now it's driving me nuts.

Hey, cover me, okay?

Darling, hey, let's do lunch.

What's going on, man? Hey, getting these
songs in order.

These are the same songs I do, Amatulo.

In case you get hung up at your
callback, you know I want to be

Hey, don't do that, man.

Do what? That.

That's mine, man. You stole it from me.
Just like you stole Denise.

Hey, wait a minute. You can't stay mad
at me.

Give me a smile.

Hey, don't do that, Amatulo. You're
taking over my life here.

And I'm not going to let it happen.
Magic or no magic. What are you talking

about? Dusty told me about Swarovski's
violin.

You wished for what I had, didn't you?
Wait a minute, you can't believe

everything... Dad, did you make that
wish or not?

Well, maybe I strummed it once. Yeah, I
knew it, I knew it.

Now, where are you going?

To get that fiddle and put things back
to what it used to be.

And let me tell you something, darling,
you can't believe that. If you don't

believe that, you're stupider than you
look. Come here.

Oh, that's great.

I love birds.

That is the final straw.

I'm going to get that violin and do this
curse.

I was calling about the audition.

This afternoon?

Well, actually, I was kind of wondering
if we could do it later on this week.

Oh, okay.

No, no, no. It's fine.

Fine. Yeah, this afternoon.

Hey,

that's my violin!

Is that the violin?

It's not in here. Well, find it, quick!

Mr. Rossi. Mr.

Rossi! Look at yourself, fighting like
children for what, the violin?

That's not magic. That's a legend.

However, if your lives are so empty that
they need magic to fulfill them, here.

It's all yours.

know better well you wouldn't think we
were friends by looking at us huh no for

a silly violin well after all that's
happened do you still think it has

powers yeah

We are back where we began.

All because of Uncle Jeff's violin.

So what are we going to do?

Maybe we're free.

Maybe smashing the violin broke the
spell. Oh, Reggie, I've been looking all

over for you. I was going to buy you
lunch.

That's a curse.

I'm shot. I'm shot. I'm through.

Look, I'm smiling all over the place.

That's right, I am smiling, darling.

You know why? Because I'm hot.

And another thing.

I'm going to stay hot.

And I'm going to stay cold.

Well, go ahead. Stay hot.

See if I can.

Yeah.

Yeah, just work one more time.

Stretch up.

Forward. Forward.

Come back.

Again, plie.

And...

Reggie, what's wrong with you, girl?
You've been like this all week.

I'm thinking about moving to Buffalo.

No, Ian would follow me to Buffalo.

You are the one who wished for it, you
know.

Yeah, well, now I wish the post office
had never found that stupid violin.

Well, look, Reg, you did get yourself
into this. I hope you get yourself out

it. No chance. He's possessed.

Look, God's only trying to make you
happy.

Yeah, and I've never been so miserable.

What's up, baby?

All right.

So, yeah, who needs bed?

Dinner tonight?

What's the matter?

You, that's what.

I mean, you're acting so much like
Donovan, I don't know who you are

I like Danny Amatullo.

Okay, Rick's the owner of the club.

Don't let his clients throw you in. He
hasn't laughed in an audition in 20

years.

Excuse me, Rick.

Yeah? Excuse me, this is Jesse
Velasquez.

What's the matter, kid? You seen a
ghost?

Has anybody ever told you you look just
like... Sly Stallone. Yeah, I know.

Everybody tells me that. I don't know
anything about boxing, but I do know a

punchline when I hear one.

Now, come on.

Make my day.

Oh.

Just what I need, another Henny
Youngman.

Nah. Henny's never played a violin like
this one.

never will you know actually I did play
this violin last week

everyone in the audience was hissing me
except for one guy who applauded I said

thank you very much for the applause he
said I'm applauding the hissing so I'm

switching to impressions here's my
impression of a drunk walking down the

Same drunk walking down the street
during an earthquake.

Reginald?

How did you know I brought you
something?

Because you're under a spelling.

Right.

Anyway, you're right.

I did.

The lump.

Something wrong?

No, everything's fine.

Oh, you don't look too happy.

Oh, I'm deliriously happy.

What's on tonight's agenda?

A movie?

A walk in the park?

If you don't feel like going out, just
say so. Oh, come on. Would it do me any

good?

It's over with, huh?

All right, now, hang on.

Hey, I've been putting a lot of effort
into this.

If you're not even going to appreciate
it, then why am I bothering? Hey!

You think this is easy for me?

I've been knocking myself out, bending
over backwards trying to please you, and

all I get is, everything's fine.

You're really angry with me, aren't you?
Yes. That's wonderful, you know that?

Oh, it is.

Yeah, it means you're not under the
spell anymore.

Oh, Ian, I'm so happy.

Thanks. I'm so glad we've had this
little chat.

You're in that group pretty hard, aren't
you?

Yeah, my callback's on the phone.

I guess someone else, man.

Sorry.

Hey, how's it going?

Uh, Chris?

Mine as well. He does me better than I
do me.

Hey, don't take it so hard, all right?

I just wanted to be a little bit more
like you.

I had my expenses.

You know, I feel bad about losing who I
am.

But I feel even worse losing Danny
Amatulo.

He was a good friend.

Jesse! Hey!

Great! Now, look, tell me, how did
everything go?

Well, they invited me to come back for
new faces, right? Are you kidding me?

Boom! Yeah.

So I want to thank you for the push. So
I think I will.

Thanks.

I knew you could do it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I have been very fortunate to fill in
for the person who usually holds this

Well, he's back.

Why settle for anything but the best,
right?

I'd like to introduce my friend, Mr.
Christopher Donovan.

No, boy.

Mr.

Shosky.

Ah, yes, good morning.

Have any of you by any chance seen my
violin?

Uh, yeah.

Kind of right here.

We took it yesterday.

For some reason, and we don't know
exactly why, but we thought we needed

We're really sorry.

Aren't you going to say anything?

There's nothing to say.

But we broke the violin.

Magic or no magic, it was still your
Uncle Zeb's.

Of course, you'll have to pay for it.

But fortunately, this is not Uncle Zeb's
violin.

That's my name.

And what about this one?

Found it in the pawn shop.

Twenty bucks.

You didn't think I was going to give
them one because that's violin, did you?

Steph used to say magic.

is right here.

Then, he'd play the violin.

And the rain would stop.

Magic?

I don't know.

But I'd be careful what I wish for.