All language subtitles for S05E19 - Self Defense

But believe me, if this was happening to
you, you wouldn't like it.

Thanks.

No. Last night he told me.

And the thing you said.

She's sensational.

Incredible. Knowing the fact that she's
another man's girl makes her even more

attractive. I love her.

I'm speaking in a professional sense, of
course.

Oh, what is this? Will you guys please
put your tongues back in your mouth? Our

tongues are in our mouth. It's just
hanging out a little bit.

Like these lashes, this jealousy thing
is quite...

Fantastic,

Nicole. Way to go. You ever cheat on
Velasquez?

You were great, babe.

As usual.

And thanks again.

For what?

For this.

Beautiful.

I didn't send you that.

Come on, you don't have to be
embarrassed. Sweet.

It may be sweet, but I didn't send it.

You should.

I should know if I sent you a rose,
Nicole.

Okay, so you didn't send me the rose.
What are you getting so upset about?

I'm upset because I'm intensely jealous.

That's why I'd like to know who did send
you the rose.

Well, I would like to know too, but I
don't.

All right, which one of you degenerates
sent Nicole the rose?

Don't look at me, baby. I didn't send it
to her, although I should have Nicole.

You were wonderful.

Thank you. Honey, all that hard work of
yours is really starting to pay off. I'm

so proud.

Come on, you guys. We've got to get a
move on if we're going to make it to the

theater. Oh, you all are going to the
theater.

What play?

Oh, it's not a play, Miss Grant.

It's actually a trashy movie. A trashy
movie?

Yeah, just girls. You want to come? No,
I can't. I've got to stay and work late

tonight. Too bad.

Why do you all want to waste your time
on a trashy movie? I could have gotten

you a house seat to see Chekhov's Three
Sisters tonight.

Oh, Miss Grant, Chekhov will be here
forever.

Trash is fleeting.

Trash is fleeting.

Whoa, is that my friend?

I didn't know she was in this movie. She
learned karate.

Two summers ago. It wasn't really a
trashy movie. It was good.

Yeah. Right, right.

Patronizing. Come on, come on. It was
trashy. Well, there was no nudity.

I wanted nudity. Yeah, we did. No, no,
no. I don't mean that kind of trashy. I

mean trashy as in no script, no plot.

I just wanted to do that karate stuff.
Yeah. Well, you know, they brought in a

master to work with me for about eight
months. Oh, wow. Yeah, I think they paid

him more than they paid the director.

I know they paid him more than they paid
me. You were great.

Yeah, I won't be messing with you.

Reggie, I don't need any carotid attack
here. You, girl. I got my grape.

Yo,

Nikki. Hey.

I'll see you guys later. All right. Hey,
girl.

So,

tell me.

Has anybody sent you any more roses or
diamonds?

No, no.

You know what, though?

What? I bet we made a big mistake.

About what?

About the rose.

There wasn't even a note or card or
anything that said they were for me.

Well, it is still your locker, isn't it?

This is terrible, Mrs. Berg. I know how
much these files meant to you.

I feel just like somebody came into my
home.

No one ever went into these files
before.

Not even Mr.

Dierenforth. I know what you mean, Mrs.
Berg.

They smashed my favorite chair to bits.

The one I brought in myself, not Quentin
Morlock's old chair, my chair.

It'll never be the same.

You know the worst part?

They didn't even take anything.

They just destroyed it. What if they
come back?

I think we should hire a security guard.

I've already talked to the school board.

Vandalism is not exactly a rare
occurrence in the public schools, is it?

Money for guards is out of the question.

I have, of course, also spoken to the
police. They say that although they

afford to give us our own man, they will
try to drive by the school as often as

possible. Oh, that's terrific.

Too bad the vandals don't use the front
door.

Good evening, everybody.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'd like to welcome you all to Pizza
Night by Candlelighted Blues.

And to make it even more romantic,
representing the strolling tuba styling

the lovely and talented Dwight
Mendenhall.

And I'm getting out of here. You coming?

No, this is too good. It's kind of like
watching a car accident.

Think, Nicole.

You must have some idea who's sending
you these flowers.

Thinking. Thinking.

Did you think of him yet?

I can't think of him.

Go far away, Dwight.

All right, let me put it another way.

I'm only trying to help, Nicole. I mean,
this could be some weirdo.

And I didn't like the way the guys were
looking at you when you were doing the

show.

Miltie's too cheap.

Sondland's too poor.

Maybe they both pitched in.

Nicole, somebody left these on the
counter for you. Me?

Nicole Chapman. That's you, right?

Who sent them to you?

It doesn't say.

There must be a dozen roses in there.

It's getting weird.

Well, I just think they're so romantic.

Me too.

Long -stem roses.

Some women go a lifetime without ever
getting them. You know, the closest I

came was on my 16th birthday. My Aunt
Ruth sent me carnations stuck in

styrofoam. It's just not the same.

What do you think, Santa, Nicole?

I have no idea.

Who in this school has that kind of
money?

Hey, maybe it wasn't somebody who goes
to this school.

I didn't even think about that.

Although you'd think that he'd send a
card.

Yeah, but I send flowers and not take
any credit for it.

Hey, Nicole!

Nicole, you're wasting roses. You don't
waste roses.

I never got flowers before.

Be my guest.

Really?

Look, I know you guys think this is
really romantic and exciting and

but believe me, if this was happening to
you, you wouldn't like it.

I know I don't.

What is wrong with you?

You just scared me.

Okay. Take it easy.

Me? Are you crazy? I would not send
roses to another man's girl.

I wouldn't even send roses to my own
girl. 50, 60 bucks a pop?

There you have it. I'm too cheap.

Take the safe, Velazquez.

I think there's some heavy dude involved
here. What heavy dude, man? Who in this

school is heavier than me?

Me? And what makes you think he even
goes to this school?

Yeah, it could be some old guy in around
30 or something.

And you know, Thelma's right.

I mean, Nicole's a pretty sexy chick.

Anybody could have picked up on her.

My dentist just split up with his wife.

Now he's dating an 18 -year -old girl.

Could be a dentist.

Could be a jockey.

Could even be a lonely millionaire.

Will you stop?

So someone sent her flowers, right? Big
deal.

I mean, I'm not going to make myself
crazy with this, right?

Good.

It was you, wasn't it? Unhand me before
I'm forced to write you off. Did

you send Nicole roses, man?

Why would I do a thing like that?

Dwight, do I know why you'd do anything?

Listen, just tell me. Did you send her
roses?

I promise I won't hurt you.

What would be so bad if I did?

You said you wouldn't hurt me. Can you
believe me?

You don't own Nicole Chapman.

Yes, I do.

Well, then it's a good thing I didn't
send them. Hey, relax.

Relax.

You gotta keep your sense of humor about
it. Laugh it off. Come on.

It'd be easy to laugh it off if you
didn't know how scared Nicole was, man.

Menino, what's wrong?

My God.

My God.

They came in through the window, sir.

Animals.

How could they do this?

How could anybody in tech help us
through the phone?

The phone was only functioning. Life was
to keep the beat.

I don't know. I just don't know.

Excuse me.

Yeah, can I help you?

Um, yeah.

Someone sent me some flowers wrapped in
a Bloomingdale's paper yesterday.

Mm -hmm. Yeah, that's right. That's me.
I'm Dale, and the blooming part is

because of the flowers.

Do you get it, Bloomingdale? Yes, I get
it.

Anyway, the flowers are really beautiful
and everything.

But there was no card or note or
anything attached to them.

This may sound kind of silly, but can
you by any chance remember who bought

roses yesterday?

Roses. And it is not silly at all,
because two guys bought roses yesterday.

One of them was about 65, 68, bought
them for his wife's birthday, and he was

telling the truth.

The other guy was a lot younger.

Said he was buying them for his mother.
Told me all about her home gardening.

But he was lying.

He was? How do you know that?

His voice gave him away.

Is that tuned in to people's voices?

All you got to do is listen.

Is there anything else I can help you
with?

No, I don't think so. Thank you.

Dale. Hmm?

Did his voice sound dangerous?

Dangerous? Well,

like I said, he was lying.

Thanks.

Dear

Nicole,

I'm sorry if my roses frightened you. I
would never hurt you.

And he's never revealed himself to you,
huh? No, Miss Grant. I'm starting to get

really scared.

We're all getting scared, Miss Grant.
And it's not just us.

There's a lot of girls in this building
who feel the same way. Who knows who

this creep is? We want to learn karate.

We want you to teach him.

Hey, karate's not something you can
learn overnight.

We're talking about hours, weeks, months
here.

And total commitment.

Miss Grant, we understand that it's
asking a lot.

This thing with Nicole's got us scared.
I mean, New York can be a tough town.

It's a whole lot scarier than Pueblo,
Colorado.

And I wasn't that comfortable there.

You walk down the street, you get on a
subway, and there's a weirdo around

corner. Yeah.

Now you, where you coming from?

What made you think karate's the answer?

We're just sick of feeling helpless and
scared.

Don't you feel a lot better now that you
know you can defend yourself?

Yeah.

I do.

Ladies, we are about to embark on the
art of karate.

It is a discipline not unlike the dance
that requires concentration, control,

total dedication, and pain.

Are you ready?

I'll take you down, I'll take you down

I can't believe this.

I campaigned so hard to get these books
for a year and a half.

And now they're all slashed.

I'm so sorry.

25 years I've been at this school, I've
never seen vandalism like this.

We have no protection, no guards, no
budget to speak of, and now...

No supplies.

I don't know why I go on with this.
Never, Beth.

Say, Uncle Miltie!

Uncle Miltie!

Still having trouble achieving maximum
leverage.

Let's try it again, huh? Pass.

Cole, don't you think you're carrying
this thing a little too far?

What is your problem? problem. You were
just as upset as I was that some weirdo

was sending a flyer. Well, I guess I
was. Of course I was. But I mean, you

haven't heard from him in three weeks.
Don't you think you can relax a bit?

Kate, please.

Can't you see I'm in mourning here? Just
one more minute.

Well,

they could still be out there, you know.

Besides, it's nice to know that I'm not
helpless anymore.

And you really think this stuff is going
to make a big difference in the real

world? You are so threatened.

Threatened? Me?

No, no, no. See, I just don't want to
see you get hurt. That's all. I am not

going to get hurt. For the first time in
my life, I feel like I can take care of

myself.

I'm just afraid that you're going to
take somebody out, and what you should

is run away.

Jesse, I am not going to go out looking
for trouble. I am not going to go out

busting up bars.

I'm doing this for my own protection.

I'm not an idiot, you know.

You could agree.

It's just not feminine.

Not feminine? Oh, but being a victim is,
right?

Where are you going?

I'm going to class. I'm on the verge of
a very important breakthrough.

Yeah, like what? What important
breakthrough?

Luck.

All right, Nicole, that's good. This
time put more hip into it. Okay, let's

Right away. Come at me.

Morning, you, Nicole. I'm not fooling
around anymore.

Whenever you're ready.

want to talk about it.

What was I supposed to do? You kept
coming at me.

Forget it.

Well, how about if we try it again
tomorrow?

You can throw me.

Hey! Are they something or are they
something?

Come on, let's hear it for these ladies.
There's a thing to hark out for you.

Okay, kiddies, that ends another great
night of fantastic entertainment here at

Lou's. Eat up, pay up, get the hell out.

Watch out for the muggers on the way
home.

I love you all, especially those of you
who exceeded your minimums.

Good night.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

Thanks for doing a double shift tonight.

I was going to get Mendenhall and his
tuba back, but I don't know. Somehow I

can't get behind that music. You know
what I mean?

Lou, you trying to tell me you don't
like tuba?

Hey, it's great.

Half time at the Cotton Bowl.

But for me, I'll take pretty girls every
time.

Cokes are on me.

How do you turn that thing off?

Oh, Lou, you don't turn it off. You get
into it.

I can't stand to see you sad.

How do you show?

Ready, ready.

Take over the place.

All right.

Everybody.

Six, seven, eight, one.

But I totally lost my confidence.

Everything I had learned went right out
of my head.

Excuse me. Do you have a hall pass?

Dwight.

I'm speaking to her.

She's with me.

Everybody. I see.

Six, seven, eight.

Honey, you can't expect to be the female
Bruce Lee overnight.

like any discipline takes time and
practice to master.

The karate didn't fail me.

The karate never even entered my mind.

I thought it was something that I'm not.

Well, so maybe you were a little
overconfident before. That's how you

things out. It's not the end of the
world. You're making progress in class.

Grant, I totally fell apart.

I've been fooling myself the whole time.
I am nothing more than a scared little

girl and I probably always will be.

Nicole.

Rambo, you ain't okay.

But you're a lot tougher than you're
giving yourself credit for.

Now, come on. Let's go back to class.
Come on.

One, two, three, four,

five.

You know, it's getting tougher to leave
this place every night.

I hear you, girl. It's like who knows
what mess is going to be here waiting

us tomorrow when we get here. You
coming, Mr. Derenforce?

In a minute, ladies.

You can't stand guard all night.

Well, you're right. I can't.

Oh, here they are.

Who knows?

Maybe they can find our vandals before
they strike again.

Well, I'm out of here.

Aren't you forgetting something?

No, I don't think so.

Your files, Mrs. Burke. What about them?

You forgot to lock them. Who forgot?

I'm just trying to minimize damage to
school property.

They want to trash my files, I can't
stop them. But at least they won't have

break up any more furniture to get to
them.

Now that's what I call a negative
attitude.

Negative schmegative. I know when I'm
licked. Mrs. Berg, it is our duty to

their task as difficult as possible.

Now, I admit that locking the files is a
small gesture, but we have to make it.

Otherwise, they'll think they've won.

Where have you been, Mr.

Derenforth?

Come on, guys.

Give it a rest.

You know, actually, it would be pretty
nice just to have to concentrate on

school. You know something, though? I
really feel like karate's helped my

concentration in everything.

It not only trains your body, but it
trains your mind. Yeah.

What's that?

Hey, Nicole, what is it?

Nicole?

You guys go ahead, okay?

What's wrong?

Nothing, I'm fine, really. Go ahead.

Nicole, what?

what this is I'm playing.

I call it the Menderphone.

I made it up out of what parts I was
able to salvage from our beloved

instruments.

It was you the whole time.

I know.

Dear Nicole, this is my last letter to
you. I'm sorry about the roses and the

other note which frightened you. How
could you do this to me, Dwight? How

you mess with my mind like this?

I didn't do it to mess with your mind.

I did it because I like you, Nicole.

I didn't have the nerve to tell you.

Dwight, that doesn't give you the right
to turn me into a basket case.

I can't tell you how sorry I am.

Then don't.

You terrorize me. I had nightmares, I
couldn't eat, and then you give me

note?

Well, there's something different about
this note.

I signed my name to this one.

What are you going to do?

Me? You're the one who knows karate.

Go get him. Come on, let's go.

Wait, I can't.

You're crazy.

I'm going to call the police.

You will call the police when we leave.

I'm too late. You are crazy.

I might be crazy. There might be a lot
of things, but one thing I'm not is a

coward. Do you mind?

All right, I'm a coward, but I'm still
going to go out there and take care of

those guys.

Of course you want to go.

Forget I said that.

Stay here.

Well, please. I'm calling from the
School of the Arts. I'd like to look for

crime in progress.

Breaking and entering.

Destruction of property.

I'll be off in a minute. I thought I
told you never to call me here.

Broad. It's all yours. You're right.

Hey!

Come on, man. You want to mix it up? I
don't think that's going to be

necessary. What's the matter, man?

You chicken?

I like you guys. I don't fight guys. I
like. Oh, he likes them.

Did you hear that, Joey? He likes us.

Well, that's right, Joey. I hope we can
be friends. Oh, yeah. You really think

we have that much in common, huh?

Well, on the surface, I'd say no, but
who among us really can say?

I don't think that's funny.

I don't think that's funny at all.

Hey, I think we're having our first
fight.

You mock me?

You mock me?

I dare you!

Look, Vinnie, I think he's a little
perturbed. Oh, did I perturb you?

What are you going to do about it?

Forget I did that. I didn't mean it. I
acted rashly.

You see what happens when you let your
emotions get the best of you? Now you're

going to have to pay for it.

Those jerks never knew what hit them.

Nicole was absolutely incredible.

He didn't do so badly yourself, Dwight.
You know, he took those two guys on all

by himself.

They would have killed me if Nicole
hadn't come to my rescue.

Well, we're all indebted to both of you.
Hopefully this incident will discourage

any other vandals from messing with the
school of the arts.

Hey, I feel safer already.

Maybe we can all get back to normal.

Well, the whole thing has inspired me to
come up with a brand new filing system.

That's wonderful, Mrs. Berg.

Maybe I'll be able to understand this
one.

Call me Ninja Nicole.

I'll see you later, Ninja. Okay.

So, how does it feel?

Well, you were right. I'm a lot tougher
than I thought I was.