All language subtitles for Trump Launched Iran Attack Because of a ＂Good Feeling,＂ U.S. Gas Prices Skyrocket ｜ The Tonight Show [VxOE0iDWyRM].en

Welcome, welcome, welcome everybody to the\h
Tonight Show. You're here. You made it. A,\h\h

it's gonna be fun. Thank you for watching at\h
home, too. Let's get to some news. Well, guys,\h\h

of course, everyone's still talking about\h
Iran. And today, the White House said that\h\h

President Trump attacked Iran based on a\h
good feeling that they were planning to\h\h

attack the US. It's historic. This could be\h
the first war ever launched based on vibes.

Yep. Trump's one step away from telling us his\h
whole strategy is a magic eight-ball. It's like,\h\h

"Ask again later. Ask again later." You know,\h
when most 79year-olds get a good feeling,\h\h

it's just their knees predicting rain. Yeah.\h
That's right. It's now day five of Trump's\h\h

military operation in Iran. Remember the\h
good old days when he was just demolishing\h\h

the White House? That was that was Yeah.\h
Things in Iran are continuing to escalate,\h\h

which is surprising because usually when\h
Trump gets involved, the escalation stops.

Yeah, Trump got into Iran, but he has\h
no idea how to leave. It's the same\h\h

It's the same problem he has sitting\h
on a deep couch. He's like, "Okay,\h\h

pull my arms on three." One, roll me\h
and pull me. Roll me. Trump attacked\h\h

Iran suddenly and without a clear plan. So\h
that's two rash decisions he made this week.

Well, people are talking about this. Admit\h
the ongoing conflict overseas. Gas prices\h\h

here in the US are skyrocketing. It's It's\h
bad. Today I saw a guy filling his tank with\h\h

four loco. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, these\h
are tough times if you need oil. I mean,\h\h

Iran is under attack and P. Diddy is\h
still in jail. So, I mean, it's almost

how I'm going to get oil. How How am I\h
going to get Yeah. Now, listen to this. Uh,\h\h

I read that one of the favorites to replace Iran\h
Supreme Leader is his son. Oh, yeah. Right now,\h\h

it's actually between two of his sons,\h
Ayatollah Eric and Ayatollah Jr. Meanwhile,\h\h

with the war ramping up, I saw that the military\h
is starting to run some new recruitment ads. Take\h\h

a look at this. Do you want to serve your country?\h
Yes, sir. Do you have what it takes? I do. Can\h\h

you do 50 push-ups? Are you crazy? How about 25\h
push-ups? I can't do it. All right. Can you do\h\h

one push-up? Close. Zero. Well, how much can you\h
lift? Never mind. Everyone else, join the Marines.

Switching gears to some big entertainment news.\h\h

I just heard that a Game of\h
Thrones movie is in the works.

I can't wait. I love the Game of Thrones, dude.\h
Same. I absolutely love Candy Crush. What? Oh,\h\h

Tri, that's a game on phones. I'm talking about\h
Game of Thrones. Oh. Oh, right. But wait, wait. Is\h\h

it the one about curling? No, that's a game with\h
stones. I'm talking about Game of Thrones. Oh,\h\h

right, right, wait, wait, wait. Is it the fibula\h
and tibia? No, that's Game of Bones. This is\h\h

Game of Thrones. Oh, right. Wait, is it Dolly the\h
Sheep and Jim Carry? No, those are famous clones.\h\h

This is Game of Thrones. Is it the grocery store\h
where cashiers flirt with you? No, that's Trader\h\h

Joe's. When Judy Dench eats pastries, that's a\h
dame with scones. Some random Irish guy. That's\h\h

Sheamus. Jones. When someone shy in the bedroom,\h
that's ashamed of moans. Okay. When your ice cream\h\h

stand catches on fire, that's flaming cones. When\h
you compliment your detective friend Sherlock,\h\h

that's glazing homes. When you trade whimsical\h
garden ornaments, that's exchanging gnomes.\h\h

This noise. That's lame trombones. When you\h
always find fault with the Chief's quarterback.\h\h

That's blame Mahomes. Hang on. Hang on. Hang\h
on. I think I've got it. Is it the popular\h\h

fantasy series with multiple spin-offs?\h
Yes. Awesome. I love Lord of the Rings.

Tariq Tarter. Everyone.

Did you see this? Harry Styles\h
is getting a lot of attention

for appearing shirtless on the cover of\h
Runners World magazine. Take a look at this.

Yeah. But he's not the only celebrity to appear\h
on the cover of Runner's World. There was also,\h\h

of course, Oprah Winfrey in 1995, uh George W.\h
Bush in 2002. And this is a little embarrassing,\h\h

but a few years ago, I also appeared on\h
the cover. And there you go. That was\h\h

that. Wow. Was that the Was that the\h
only magazine cover you were on? Uh,\h\h

no. I was also on the cover of\h
Bone Appetit. Oh, really? Oh,

hey, this is fun. I saw that uh Disney Cruise\h
Line just launched their largest ship ever.\h\h

It's perfect for anyone who's ever looked around\h
Disney and thought, "If only I could be trapped\h\h

at sea with these people." And finally, you\h
guys, you ever see a photo in the news and\h\h

think that headline could be better? It's\h
time for news and improved. Here we go.

For example, check out this first photo. The\h
original headline was, "Lady Gaga performs at\h\h

Grammys." headline can definitely be improved\h
because if you only looked at the photo,\h\h

the headline could have been weird lamp in a\h
hotel room impossible to turn off. But I don't\h\h

know where I this next headline was, Prince\h
William attends esport tournament. Headline\h\h

could have been man who lied on resume\h
opens Excel for the first time. Okay,

up next, this headline says Mike\h
Johnson speaks on Capitol Hill.\h\h

Headline could have been man sets record\h
for a number of before boss hangs up. Yeah.

Okay. Next headline was Mcronone addresses World\h
Economic Forum. Headline could have been dad's\h\h

midlife crisis getting dangerously\h
close to buy a motorcycle zone.

Next headline was Queen Camila meets\h
with Paddington. Headline could have\h\h

been family worries grandma's new husband\h
only marrying her for money. For honey.

His next headline was London fashion week kicks\h\h

off. Headline could have been Tide\h
Pod comes to life walks runway.

And finally this headline was India's\h
prime minister pledges to support allies.\h\h

The headline could have been nerple moments\h
away from being purpleled. There you have it.\h\h

That's all we have for news and improve. We\h
have a great show. Jamie Lee Curtis is here\h\h

tonight. Sam Huitt is joining us. Awardwinning\h
director Andrew Jerki is here. And she's got the\h\h

number one album in the country right\h
now. Megan [\h__\h] is here to perform.\h\h

Stick around. We'll be right back with\h
Jamie Lee Curtis. Come on back, everybody.