All language subtitles for S02e18 - Friendship Day

Friendship Day is upon us. Listen, I
won't help you with your stupid cookies

you won't help me with our stupid
children.

Now, do I have to follow everybody
around to make sure that they're doing

jobs? Who the hell are you to judge
someone else's poetry, anyway? You asked

But something could go wrong, and it
did.

That's how you got the Murphy Blues.

What? It's almost Friendship Day.

Such a magical time.

It better be.

Big dreams.

You want fame.

Well, fame costs.

And right here is where you starve to
death.

It's where.

Guys! I want to live forever.

Save me, remember.

Remember, remember, remember, remember.

Ladies and gentlemen, friendship day is
upon us. The one day each semester

students come to...

Dressed as a famous friend or someone
with whom you would like to be friends.

The spirit of friendship shall be
continued throughout the day and into

evening with the friendship dance at 8 o
'clock Friday night. You wear your

costumes to the dance.

Oh, this is the fun part. The girls will
ask the boys to be their date.

All right, come on, hang on, hang on.
Let me finish, let me finish. There will

be live music, refreshments, loads of
fun, and... There will be security at

door. In short... Today is about fun,
good spirits, and camaraderie.

But please remember that school business
will continue as usual.

Mr. Shirovsky, will some of the faculty
be wearing costumes like last year?

Dwight, I can only speak for myself, but
just to say, not on a bet.

Terrific. It has just the right amount
of pizzazz.

I think it'll be the perfect song for
the Friendship Day dance. I want to give

you a couple notes later, just to take
the glitches out.

And glitch it?

Just a few.

Don't worry, it's almost perfect.

Okay, all right, everybody.

Um, Michael, have you finished the copy
for all the signs yet?

Doris, we've gone over the copy three
times, and you've changed it three

So? So when you decide what it is you
want to say, we'll make the signs.

Now, this is what I am talking about.
Now, do I have to follow everybody

to make sure that they're doing their
jobs?

Smokey, what about the decorations?
Which ones? The ones you want to be soft

subtle? The ones you want to have zip
and pizzazz?

I thought we decided on bright, sunshiny
colors.

Yeah, we did until you changed your
mind.

All right, just make sure that there's a
lot of texture.

I got a couple ideas.

Maybe we better schedule another meeting
for after school. Another meeting for

what? Oh,

please.

Look, you've given the assignment. Now
let us do our work.

Yeah, it's like we feel like you don't
trust us to do anything.

Of course I trust you.

Obviously you have some doubts.

All right, answer me one question.

Why do you find it so difficult to trust
me to trust you?

Because I do.

I'm telling you, I do.

So if you don't buy that, then you're
the ones who don't have enough trust.

Now, I know I put that list in a very

special place. Where ever could it be?

Do you think you might have filed it?

What a good idea.

Good morning, Mr. Martelli. I'm here to
get my assignment for the parents'

participation in the friendship dance.

Oh, good.

So is Mrs. Miller.

Mrs. Miller, do you know Mr. Martelli?

Hello. You're Julie's mother, aren't
you? That's right.

I see you got trapped into being a
chaperone at the shindig, too, huh?

What have they got you doing?

I haven't found out yet.

Ah, here we are.

Mr. Martelli, you're to take care of the
refreshments.

And Mrs. Miller, you're in charge of
security for the evening.

Refreshments. That's the punch and
cookies and stuff like that.

Maybe some brownies or even a nice crumb
cake.

Well, that's women's work.

A man should keep watch at the door, you
know. Make sure there's no trouble.

Mrs. Miller can't handle that.

Oh, why not?

Because it makes more sense.

Why don't we just switch assignments?

I'll stick with what I've been assigned,
Mr. Martelli.

I'll check in with you later, Mrs. Berg.

Aren't you two supposed to call each
other sister or something like that?

Well...

You

drama teachers just love to make
dramatic entrances, don't you? Well, I

can't help myself, you see. I'm really
starving for attention.

Looks like they've got a case of it too,
wouldn't you say?

I'd say, definitely.

What? Case of what?

Frenchie Day item.

Lydia and I were just talking about it.
We're starting to see the telltale signs

already. I've been noticing it too.

Since this is my first experience at
this gala event, I don't think anyone

expect it. I mean, what kind of signs?

Haven't you noticed anything different
with your students?

Any abnormal behavior?

Yeah, there's been some courtesy.

Around here, that's abnormal.

And Dwight coming to school every day in
his bow tie.

Even his tuba looks a bit shy.

And all this just because the girls are
supposed to ask the guys to dance,

right? You got it.

Wait till you conduct classes with the
kids dressed in costumes.

I had to give an oboe exam to Norman
Benzer when he was dressed as a

I really think the whole day's got a
nice feel to it.

Do you think Mrs. Berg is going to dress
up again?

I hope so.

I wouldn't miss that for the world.

Elizabeth.

I've got a favor to ask of you.

Quick favor, I hope.

I've been sort of trying my hand at
writing poetry, and I'd like you to take

look. I didn't know you wrote poetry.

Yeah, well, it's kind of been a secret
up until now.

But I'd really appreciate it if you'd
tell me what you think.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

And I want an honest opinion now.

You got it.

So why is Doris so tight about this
friendship day thing?

Well, it's because of what happened last
year.

This year?

What happened last year?

Well, she volunteered to head up the
whole event, right?

She made a big deal about how she didn't
need any help, right? Her motto was, no

problem, just leave everything to me.

And? And no decorations, no
refreshments, and no music.

Except for, uh, Dwight trying to save
the evening by playing Devo's greatest

hits on his Sousa phone.

No, she messed up last year. She's just
trying to make up for it.

I think it's a little more than that.

See, Dorothy's got this major confidence
about any kind of authority or

leadership trip, you know?

She works real hard at always being
liked by everybody, all the time.

And nobody gets that except puppies with
remarkable self -control.

She needs to know she's doing well and
that we appreciate it.

Agreed. How do you suggest we accomplish
all this?

I'll think of something.

Thank you very much.

Look, why don't we pick up where we left
off yesterday with our discussion of

character and motivation.

Yeah, keep it moving easy.

Don't look like you're trying so hard.

Yeah,

don't give them all of

it. Let them know you got some more.

Man, I gotta get Michelle to ask me to
dance.

Hey, you know a better way to get a hot
dancer to notice me than by me being a

hot dancer myself?

No. Don't worry, she'll notice you.

Looking like a flamingo dancing on a
bicycle.

Yo, show me that move.

Lord, please give this man some rules. I
cannot do this alone.

I can't take that.

Okay, okay, everybody listen up.

I need those posters up right away.

Michael, just because you're my date for
the dance doesn't mean you don't have

to pull your share of the load.

Hey, Doris, Daryl is putting them up
right now, so you've got your posters,

okay? Don't you think you should be
helping him? I just did two floors.

doing the other two.

Wait a minute. You put up the posters
without my seeing them?

What do they say?

You want to know what they say?

They say everybody come to the
friendship dance. See the terrific

terrific band.

And see Doris Schwartz.

She's the only one there without a date.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Bruno.

Yeah, she's here. Hold on. Julie!

Phone!

Phone.

Hello?

Hi.

No. Not yet.

Just a second.

Yeah, no. Not sure.

It's easier said than done, Mr. Frodo,
making a mistake.

I want it to be perfect.

No, of course I haven't told my mother.
Are you crazy?

There should be some mystery to it,
don't you think?

It's supposed to be thrilling.

Bruno, it's just that I've never done
anything quite like this before.

Of course, there's always a first time.

Of course, I trust you.

I know it doesn't make me a bad person.

Yeah? Yeah.

I know. It's your first time, too.

You think your dad suspects anything?

Oh, good.

You know, we have to be very, very
careful.

Oh, Friday. It's starting to look very
exciting.

Okay.

See you tomorrow.

Bruno!

Do you think we're doing the right
thing?

Great, Mom.

Go for it.

Right.

Anyway, over the phone, I sort of got
the feeling that you might be willing to

switch jobs. Mr. Martelli, I have been
doing punch and cookie since Julie was

three. It would be nice to do something
different for a change.

Cook. I can barely buy cookies, much
less trying to make them.

I have a terrific recipe you can have.

Thanks. Make sure it's an easy one.

Actually, the real reason I wanted to
see you is because I'm worried.

It's about the security, I told you. No,
no, no, no. I'm worried about our kids.

What do you mean? Well, I'm not sure,
but judging from the bits and pieces of

telephone conversations I accidentally
overheard...

I think they might be planning
something.

So? I think it might be sexual.

Sexual?

That's right.

What do you know?

Mr. Martelli.

Oh, boys will be boys.

Oh, come on, Mrs. Miller.

I'm sure that Bruno and Julie aren't
planning an orgy.

Need a whole bunch of people for one of
those.

Mr. Martelli, they're being very
secretive about something.

Bruno never keeps any secrets from me,
especially something like this.

You mean he'd actually tell you? No, no,
no, no. He wouldn't tell me, actually.

It's like I'd kind of get to the topic
and I'd find out what's going on.

And he'd be very open with me, and we
got that kind of communication.

I'm sure you had the same thing with
Julie.

Well, in a sense.

I mean...

I just think some things are different
between a father and son as opposed to a

mother and daughter.

I suppose so.

Bruno and Julie.

Mr. Martelli. Okay, I'll check it out.

Can I please have just one of those
french fries?

Here.

Stuff yourself.

Who called?

Morris? You have Dwight on performance
probation. You gotta take him off.

Why do I gotta take him off? Because I
need him for the Friendship Day dance.

You're putting a sousaphone player into
a rock band?

It's not his sousaphone I need. It's his
body.

Wanting his sousaphone, I can understand
a little.

Wanting his body?

Look, I'm having a hard time getting a
date for the Friendship Day dance.

I guess it's probably because I'm in
charge and that puts a lot of guys off.

What other reason could there be?

Look, I can get Dwight and I don't have
to worry about him, but he won't go

anywhere without a sousaphone, so you've
got to take him off probation.

Schwartz, is having a date really all
that important?

Then I'll be ready in a few minutes.

Great. I'm starving.

Did you have a good day?

Pretty underwhelming.

Anything special happen?

Anything good to report?

Nah.

Any problems?

Just trying to convince a stubborn girl
to make a major change in her lifestyle.

What's the matter? Why do you seem so
distracted?

Oh, I'm just thinking about my mother, I
guess.

Oh, Grandma?

Yeah.

She was always great at helping me with
costumes.

We had some great times creating these
fantastic outfits.

She was always great at sewing, but not
too terrific at listening.

What do you mean?

Well, it was just always very hard for
me to talk to her.

Do you know what I mean?

You know, I think it's really great that
no matter what it is, we're not afraid

to talk about it.

I mean, anything that's bothering you.

Anything at all.

You know, like girls and stuff like
that, we could just put it out there

each other.

After I got married and had you, I was
amazed at how much she had learned in

just a few short years.

She was always there for me to talk to.
I was just too afraid to let her in on

my feelings.

All that time, she could have been my
best friend, and I was just too scared

let her.

Yeah, I think Grandma knows a lot.

It's not like it used to be with my
father and me.

No, sir.

I couldn't say anything about myself but
always getting jumped on and

criticized.

Stupid or don't feel that way is what I
get.

I mean, isn't it a dumb thing to tell a
kid? I mean, the way you feel is the way

you feel.

Well, boy, I tell you, my father didn't
make communication easy.

And that's tough.

When you're a kid, you got things on
your mind, right?

Hello? Mr. Martelli?

It's Charlotte Miller.

I was just wondering if you'd had time
to talk to your son.

Yes, I did.

And was there a lot of communication?

Well, you know, you gotta look between
the lines a little bit.

Did you talk to Julie yet?

Yes, I did.

Any communication?

Oh, you bet.

Mrs. Miller, are you lying as much as I
am?

Oh, you bet.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Is it really true you're going to give a
quiz on friendship dinner?

It'll be a friendly quiz. Oh, good. I'm
glad something's going to be friendly

around here. Hi, everybody.

Hi,

everybody.

I haven't had time to read them yet.

Hey, that's okay. Just whenever you get
around to it, it'll be all right.

I read your poems.

I didn't like them.

I shouldn't have lied just now, but I
didn't want to hurt your feelings.

I can take it. Just trying to learn,
that's all. It's really not that... What

exactly didn't you like about them?

Well, everything.

The imagery, the style, everything.

They were nicely typed.

You want to move on to spelling and
punctuation?

David, I'm just trying to be honest
about this. I don't want to start an

argument.

Do you have any idea?

Any idea at all how long it took me just
to work up the courage to ask you?

Huh? Do you have any idea how long it
took me to work up the courage to tell

you?

Who the hell are you to judge someone
else's poetry anyway?

Look, Buster, you asked me, remember?

Yeah,

yeah, okay, there's that.

Yeah.

Am I excited about what, Mrs. Berg?

Why, it's almost Friendship Day.

Such a magical time.

It better be.

Well, do your turn.

When you see your master plan go up in
smoke.

You do a real slow burn.

As you grind your teeth and laugh until
you choke.

If y 'all wonder why.

Then Murphy's Law explains the awful
news.

If something can go wrong, it will.

That's how you get the Murphy Blues.

Murphy Blues.

You had it all worked out.

Your clockwork plan put mother's time to
shame.

If a file broke out, In the local
restaurant, you'd eat the flame.

You felt so strong.

Sex was in the air, how could you lose?

But something turned all wrong, and it
did. That's how you got the Murphy

Whoa, whoa.

Murphy's Luz.

With silver lining all around you.

Your clouds are wide, the weather high.

Something new.

That's how you get the Murphy Blues.

Let's have a hand for the knowledge, the
persistence, the insight, and the

omnipresence of Murphy Blues.

Oh, you talked to her?

Nope.

Then how do you know she's got the
blues?

Well, when you pass Doris in the hallway
and she doesn't talk to you, it's kind

of like a puppy dog not waving his tail.

Heavy -duty trouble.

She'll bounce back.

Not as fast as you think.

Are you kidding? She's the most
resilient of all of us. She's always

up and telling us not to quit.

That's true.

Now, who's going to do that for her?

We are.

I mean, that's the whole idea behind
this present thing. We've got to get her

something. To show her that we really
appreciate her and we care and we see

she's doing a good job.

What kind of a present do you think we
should get her?

Well, maybe a gift certificate.

If she's always going to Ray's Pizza, we
could get her something from there.

She does go there a lot.

That's because porking out helps her
forget when she's feeling lousy about

something.

I'm afraid it'll just remind her how
bummed out she is.

Okay, so not Ray's Pizza.

What do you have in mind?

Official. Formal. Kind of like what
we're doing for our parents.

Something she can hang in a room?

Now, where can we find a sale on horse
thieves?

What?

All right, class, let me repeat what I
said to you at the beginning of the

You're not in this class to become a
dancer.

This is a body movement class.

Even though there are dance majors here,
the point is not to move like a dancer,

but to move like a person.

Now, to just... Walk on stage very
naturally. It's not as easy as it seems,

know. So let me give you a tempo. One,
five, five, five. Now I want you to keep

this tempo and just walk very naturally.

Let's start with you, Joy. Just walk.

Five, six, seven. And walk, and walk,
and walk.

Keep the beat, honey. Keep the beat.
Drop your shoulders.

Not first position, honey. What
happened?

Come on, walk easy.

Walk. Just natural, baby.

Everyone, go, go, go.

This is not natural.

The guys are being so weird about the
girls asking him to the dance. I don't

know what the big deal is. I ask guys
all the time.

You really do?

Hey, sir, hey, this is the 80s, girl.
It's okay.

Hey, uh, Smokey. Yeah?

Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure. Alone?

Uh -huh.

Uh, Smokey.

Yeah?

Uh, Smokey, uh...

This is real damn lady armature.

Hey, you think you can put in a good
word with Michelle?

I mean, she hasn't asked me to dance
yet, and I'm, you know.

Why does everybody make me the middle
man person?

What do you mean?

Put in your own good word.

Leroy, come on, you gotta help me.

Again? One more time. Come on, go
through.

Now look, I want them all.

Michelle. You know, I think we need more
work. I think you're right.

I suppose

when this was a school for normal
people,

this room was used as a home economics
class. Now we just use it for plays that

have eating scenes in them, mostly.

We won't need it for long. Thank you
very much, Mrs. Berg. Oh, you're very

welcome. I'll be right outside. You just
call me if you need anything.

We will.

Okay, you just take these little globs
and you put them on the cookie sheet

about an inch apart like this.

How much of the stuff do I need?

What? The globs. How much do I need to
feed the dance crowd?

How can you expect me to worry about
globs when I...

Children may be facing a crisis.

I also am facing a crisis. I have to
make cookies for thousands of people.

Thousands? Oh, hundreds.

Hundreds of people eat thousands of
cookies. Listen, I will help you with

stupid cookies if you will help me with
our stupid children.

I didn't mean to say that.

Well, you did say it. Well, I didn't
mean to.

Something's beginning to smell
absolutely scrumptious in there.

You know, this could be enough to start.

You don't want to change the job? No,
thanks. I like the one I have.

You'll help me make the cookies.

Will you help me with the kids?

I would if I thought there was something
to worry about.

Our children are going to have sex, and
I think there's something to worry

about.

Well, I should say so.

I'll just leave the keys here, and you
can lock up when you're done cooking.

The cookies, I mean.

We ought to get up a petition or
something just to let her know how we

What do friendship day and a three -week
vacation in the Bahamas have in common?

I don't know.

Not a damn thing.

I hear the kids have been working pretty
hard.

So have I. That's what it takes.

All your teachers tell us that all the
time.

It's true.

But when people are working hard...

They need a little praise along with the
criticism.

No, I just want this thing to work out.

I know.

But sometimes a pat on the back works
better than a slap in the face.

Sometimes that's an easy thing to
forget.

They hate me.

No.

They're mad at you.

They don't hate you.

How do you know?

I used to think Leroy hated me.

He didn't.

Doesn't.

He just has a lot to be angry at.

You just ended a sentence with a
preposition.

Keep my secret.

What do I do?

I think I probably know, too.

Well, I couldn't hear everything, but I
definitely heard her say something about

what they would be doing later Friday
night.

Are you sure she was talking to Bruno?

She called him by name.

That'll be a giveaway, yeah.

I always thought Bruno was such a nice
kid.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, I'm sure this wasn't Julie's idea.

What makes you so sure?

Because I know Julie.

You think I don't know Bruno?

I don't know, do you? I do. If anything
is going on, I'm sure it's because he

was talked into it.

Mr. Martelli, no young man would have to
be talked into... being attracted to my

daughter. You never heard of peer
pressure?

Need a little something.

I wonder what that's about.

It's about me.

How can you tell?

Last summer I worked at a camp for deaf
kids.

I learned sign language.

I also learned how to read lips.

Mrs. Berg.

What do you think?

Oh, well, that's one way to go with it,
I suppose.

I mean, the man hasn't spoken a civil
word to me.

He carries a grudge and a half.

Maybe you weren't very diplomatic about
it, Elizabeth.

No maybe necessary.

I'll let him have it right between the
eyes.

Which is why I have some majorly fence
mending to do.

I just wanted to let you know that
everything is going right on schedule.

Good.

Mrs. Berg, have you seen Mr. Reardon?
Oh, any number of times.

I meant tonight.

Yes, he's in his room.

I'm to go get him when the dance starts.

No time like the present.

Isn't that the truth, though?

Wish me luck.

Oh, certainly.

Good luck.

Hello.

Nice costume.

Thank you very much.

But I'm not wearing a... Oh, well. Thank
you very much.

Oh, hooray. Now I can check the last two
items off my list.

You're security.

I certainly am. And you're cookie.

He certainly is.

Why aren't you in costume?

This is it. I'm my own best friend.
Don't you like it?

Yeah.

Is the door closed?

No. I'm worried about her. I think she's
not going to show up.

She'll show up.

We might show a little concern. We're
supposed to be her friends.

I know that. I also know that Doris is
too professional not to be here tonight.

I mean, she may be bummed out, but it
doesn't mean she's not going to show up.

Believe me.

I'm sorry.

This whole thing's got me on edge.

Yeah, partly, Doris.

What else?

My mom.

She's been acting weird all week.

Must be contagious. My dad's been acting
the same way ever since they started

working on this thing together.

Did your dad ever talk about how lonely
being single is?

Sometimes, yeah.

How about your mom?

Sometimes.

Oh, that is not how I give criticism to
my kids. But then I didn't expect you to

react like a kid. I assumed you were an
adult.

Look, the fact is, I put a lot of myself
on the line with that stuff. I

understand that. No.

No, I don't think you do understand. If
you did, you wouldn't have responded

that way.

David, I've written enough poetry of my
own to understand the emotional

investment involved.

What was that again?

I said I've written enough poetry of my
own to understand... Not so.

You write poetry, too?

Yes.

You going to give me a chance to look
some of it over?

Get a chance at seeing how it ought to
be done?

Well,

it probably couldn't hurt.

But somehow I doubt I would get the most
objective of opinions.

Oh, Elizabeth, fair's fair.

It isn't a question of being fair.

Well, then it's a question of courage.

What is that?

Some sort of adolescent challenge?

Take it any way you want.

But the fact of the matter is, I showed
you mine, and now it's your turn to show

me yours.

All right.

You got it.

Oh!

Oh!

Mmm! This is a great customer challenge.

Yeah, it's horrific.

You really like them? They're the best
cookies I ever had.

Hey, thanks.

Mr. Shirovsky?

Yes? Would you mind watching the door
for a few minutes?

It would be my pleasure, but bear in
mind, you may have a black belt, minus

light pink.

Thank you.

Excuse me, would you like to dance?

Are you serious?

Of course.

You want to dance with me?

I want to dance with you.

You know, I've been thinking.

We make a big deal about our kids not
talking to us about what's bothering

And we're afraid to talk to them about
what's bothering us.

Mr. Martelli, you're absolutely right.

She's been trying to talk to me all
week.

Same with my dad.

I just kept cutting her off.

Me too.

you are, Doris. You should be very
proud.

Everything is going wonderfully well.

Really? Oh, absolutely.

Of course, the night is still young.

Of course.

Come and have one of Mr. Martelli's
cookies.

Thank you, Mr. Sharofsky.

You're welcome.

We've got to talk. I couldn't agree
more. I have been trying to talk to you

week.

About what?

About what you and Bruno have planned
for later on tonight.

Oh, you know about it.

It's supposed to be a surprise.

A surprise?

Sure. It'd be more fun that way with all
the kids watching.

Cheering, applause, the whole bit.

Oh, too sentimental for you.

Wait a second, wait a second.

Julie, are we talking about the same
thing?

Uh -huh.

The thank you plaques.

Thank you plaques?

We're not talking about the thank you
plaques?

Thank you plaques.

That's what Bruno and I have been trying
to keep secret from you all week.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

Oh, about not communicating.

All right, everybody, y 'all shut up.

No class. Shut up, please.

Before we get down to some serious
dancing.

No, I said serious dancing.

We got some serious thinking to do to
some serious people.

So with Miller and Martelli, get up here
and let's get this over with.

Mrs. Charlotte Miller and Mr. Angelo
Martelli.

And this last award is for the kid who
pulled this all together and drove us

bananas in the process.

Where'd she go?

Hey, Schwartz, come get your prize.

I

was

walking around,

wearing shoes on my shoulder.

It would get me down, being by myself.

You were looking at me, wondering what
was next.

It's good to have someone to lean on.

We've got nothing to prove.