All language subtitles for Ginger in the Morning 1974-subrip

Thanks for the lift.

I sure wish you were
going all the way.

- Well, you're welcome
and I sure worry

about a young girl like you

out here hitchhiking
alone by herself.

- I'll be okay.

So long.
- Goodbye, goodbye.

- Hello, bird!

' Hey, Joe!

JOe!

Joe, I'm back here!

Wait up, I'll walk in with ya!

How about those
stewardesses, Joe?

Did you notice that?

They were really knockouts,
almost every one of 'em.

Drives you right
up the wall, right?

- Right, right.

- Look, Joe, like I said, I
always mind my own business,

but when I meet
someone who's gone

through the same
darn thing I have,

I just want to help out.

I mean, that's just the way
I am, do you understand?

- Oh, sure, sure.

- Well, then listen to me, Joe.

The only way to get
over a bad marriage,

or a breakup with anybody,

is to go right out and find
somebody else right away,

and I mean pronto.

Oh, psychiatrists will give
you a lot ofjunk about,

you know, adjusting to failure

and all that kinda stuff.

But don't listen to 'em.

What I say is...

Hey, get a load of that.

Oh!

Oh, Joe, these kids today drive

you right up the wall, right?

- Yeah, right, right.

- How long have you been
divorced now Joe, you said?

- Well, I told you, it's been-

- Three months, right?
- Three months, right.

- Yeah, yeah.

And what have you been
doin' all this time?

I mean, just sittin'

around feelin' sorry
for yourself, I'll bet.

- No, no, not really.
- Yeah?

Well, then, how many women
have you been out with

since you busted up
with what's her name?

- Well, actually, I-
- How many? None.

- I haven't had much time.
- None, right?

That's right.
- Well-

- And you know why, Joe?

You know why?

Because you're the
sensitive type, Joe.

That's it.

You're sensitive and if
you don't watch yourself,

you're gonna end up on
a psychiatrist's couch.

- I don't follow what you're-
- Pick up a girl.

Thin, dark haired brunette.

Hey.

Oh, take one look
at that.

You know, I'll bet you
don't even have a date

for New Year's Eve, do you?

- Well, I haven't met too many
people out here socially yet.

- Oh, come on.

Don't bull me, Joe.

I know that you're lonely,
you're unhappy, you're uptight.

You're horny.

- Oh, now, wait a minute, Fred.

- So why don't you just do
me and yourself a favor?

Pick up a girl, and
check into a motel.

- A motel?

- Oh, yeah, that
is the magic word.

You just mention the word motel,

and you'll know right
off if you're in or out.

I travel all the time, Joe.

I know what I'm talkin' about.

Motel is the secret word.

Don't play grab bag
with your life, Joe.

Listen, Joe, I've got
somethin' for you.

A telephone number.

This is a computer
dating service.

They've got offices in
all the major cities.

Don't forget, Joe,
we're studs, bulls.

We can service any
number of women.

Live your life, and
don't look back, Joe.

Oh my gosh, I've gotta run.

My girlfriend's
gonna pick me up.

Well, so long, Joe,
and Happy New Year.

- Well, Happy New
Year to you, Fred.

- I want you to know,

it's been a real pleasure
meeting somebody on an airplane

that you've got a
genuine rapport with.

So, go out and get
'em, boy.

Bye bye.

- Goodbye.

Ivan Wiles, white
courtesy telephone, please.

Ivan Wiles, white courtesy
telephone, please.

- Hi.

- Well, hello.

- So, you're getting
off here too, huh?

- Yep, I live here.
- Do you?

Well, I suppose they're gonna

have you flying New
Year's Eve, are they?

- No.

I'm gonna be off
three whole days.

- Really?

Probably going to some
big New Year's Eve party?

- No, I just want to spend
a nice, quiet evening.

- You know, I've
got a great idea.

I don't know why
I didn't think of it before.

I could get in my car,

and just drive up to-
- How are ya?

Mr. Maroni,

I'd like you to meet
my husband, George.

George, this is Mr. Maroni.

- Well, how do you do?
- Glad to meet you.

- Pleasure.

- Well, I hope we'll
be flying together

again sometime real soon.

- Oh, so do I, so do I.

- Certainly.
- Bye.

- Goodbye.

Limousine service
for Downtown Albuquerque

now departing
front to concourse.

All aboard, please.

J' I've been travelin' around J'

J' You know there's lots
of pretty things to see J'

J' Got everything I need J'

J' A guitar and my
favorite jeans J'

J' And I'm feelin' kinda silly
'cause I can't stop grinnin' J'

J' Sunshine makes
me feel that way J'

J' I got a bad case
of sweet cheeks J'

J' And it's showin' all over me J'

J' Wake me up in the mornin' J'

J' You know I got a
lotta songs to sing J'

J' Lots of highway to travel J'

J' Lots of sunshine and
strawberry strings J'

J' And I'm feelin' kinda silly J'

J' 'Cause I can't stop grinnin' J'

J' Sunshine makes
me feel that way J'

J' I got a bad case
of sweet cheeks J'

J' And it's showin' all over me J'

- Hi.

- Hello.

Didn't you just
pass me goin' the other way?

- Yeah, I was comin'
back to pick you up.

Far out.

How come you didn't pick
me up the first time?

- Oh, I was going too fast.

The roads are pretty narrow.

- I bet you thought I
was gonna molest ya.

Yeah.

I've never picked
a girl up before.

On the highway, I mean.

- So I'm your first
experience, right?

Right.

- I'm Ginger Brown.

Joe Maroni.

How do you do?

- Fine, how are you?

- How far are you goin'?

- Colorado Springs.

My old man's a sergeant
in the Air Corps there.

He's a mechanic.

I haven't seen him
in a couple years.

How far are you goin'?

- Denver.

- Out of sight.

Can I ride all the way with ya?

- Sure.

- Shew!

One ride, all the way
to Colorado Springs.

- I do have to stop in Santa Fe.

I have some business I
have to take care of.

- So we'll stop over.

. Okay-

- More coffee?

- Yes, please.

No, thank you.

Why couldn't I have
another cup of coffee?

- Because coffee
gives you wrinkles.

Didn't you know that?

- No, I didn't know that.

- Well, did you ever see
anybody with wrinkles

that didn't drink
a lot of coffee?

- I don't think so.

Look over there.

Look over there.

See what I mean?

Look at me.

I don't have any wrinkles,

and I don't even drink coffee.

- Yeah.

I never thought about that.

You better
think about it.

Yeah.

J' Maraschino now J'

J' What does she know
about my cherry red J'

J' So, listen, people,
while I sing this song J'

J' About how the food
and drugs gone wrong J'

J' Well, they lied J'
J' They lied J'

J' About formaldehyde J'

J' Well, they're feedin' us
poison without any warnin' J'

J' Why, I had a bowl of
maraschinos this mornin' J'

J' And now I do about
a bag a day, oh J'

J' I can't go on
strung out this way J'

J' You don't get high J'

J' No, you just
die, from eating J'

- That's a motel.

- Yes, Sir, there's
a motel, all right.

J' Maraschino, now,
what does she know J'

J' about my cherry red J'

- Well, I'll see if they've
got a couple of rooms.

- I won't tell my mother
if you won't tell yours.

Okay, it's a deal.

- It was hard enough
for my mother and Daddy

to accept me as a hippie,
much less a kept woman.

- Right.

_ Hey! JQe?
. Yes?

Will you
get adjoining rooms?

- Adjoining rooms?

- Yes, so we can talk
through the connecting door.

. Okay-

- Evenin'.
- Good evening.

Like a room?

- Yes, as a matter of
fact, I'd like two rooms.

- Uh huh.

- That's my sister.

She's traveling with me.

- And you'd like
adjoining rooms?

- Adjoining rooms,
yes, that'll be fine.

Just fine.

- Well, I'm sorry to say
we've only got one room left.

- Oh.
- A unit with twin beds.

- Oh.
- I could give you a screen.

This would give you and your
sister a semblance of privacy.

- A screen?

Yes, that is a thought.

I'll have to discuss it
with my sister, naturally.

- Oh, naturally.
- Yeah.

- Would you like
to see the room?

- See the room?

See the room.

No, on second thought,

I think I'd better
try somewhere else.

It's
the holidays, you know?

Everything's filled.

- Yes, well, if we can't find
anything else, we may be back.

Thank you.

- Well, good luck.

You're gonna need it.

- Yeah.

They only had one room.

- Did it have twin beds?

- Well, yeah, why?

- Well, remember that old movie?

- What, about twin beds?

- Yeah, with Clark Gable
and Claudette Colbert?

I saw it on "The
Late Show" once.

- "It Happened One Night."

- Yeah, that's it.

Well, why don't we
do it like they did?

- Like what?

- We could pose as man and wife,

and get a rope and a blanket,

and make a barrier
between the beds.

- Rope and a blanket?

- Yeah, wouldn't it be a gas?

As long as you don't have
a toy trumpet, I'm safe.

' A t°Y trumpet?

- Don't you remember at
the end of the movie,

when Gable blew on the trumpet

and the walls of Jericho

- came tumbling down?
- Tumbling...

Yes, I remember, I remember.

- Where to now?

- Is it too late for dinner?

- You don't pass up a meal

just cause of what
the clock says.

- Right.

Two for dinner?

- Yes, please.

- Which way to the ladies' room?

- Top of the stairs
to the right, Miss.

- Thank you.

You try to behave while
I'm gone, will ya?

- Yes, I'll try.

This way, please.

Can I help you?

- Yes, thank you.

- This way, please.

- Wow.

Who are you?

- I'm Ginger Brown, from
Miss Goldbrick's School

of Pedigreed Young Ladies.

- You look lovely.
- Thank you.

Shall we dine?

I could eat a horse.

- I don't know if they serve
horse on the menu, Madame,

but if not, we'll
certainly send out for one.

- May I take your drink orders?

- No, thank you.

- Scotch and soda, please.

- Right.

- Thank you.

- Can I have anything I want?

' WhY not?

- Far out.

Joe?
. Hm?

- Are you married?

- No.

At least, not anymore.

Why do you ask?

- Your wedding ring.

Why don't you take it off?

It might make you feel better.

- Thank you.

- Mm hm.

- That looks good.

What are you doing?

- You know what this is?

- Whipped cream.
- Wrong.

It's all synthetic.

Didn't you ever read on the
can what's in this stuff?

- I never-
- You should.

There's not anything in here
that ever came close to a cow.

- Well, that won't
kill you will it?

- That's not the point.

The point is you
are what you eat.

- Right.

No coffee, thank you.

- You want some of this?

- No, thank you.

A fella I met on the plane

today said that after a divorce,

you should go out and
have a lot of affairs.

What do you think about that?

- Sure, if you're
that kinda guy.

But I don't think
you're that kinda guy.

Hasn't there been anybody?

I mean, since you
and Marci busted up?

- Oh, well, that's...

No.

- You wanna see a
picture of Clayton?

Sure.

- Looks like John the
Baptist, doesn't he?

- Very handsome.

Beard, and all.

Well, is he a good guy?

- Yeah.

One of the best.

How 'bout Marci?

Was she pretty?

- Here.

Here's a picture of her.

- Wow.

We've got a couple
of terrific hang ups.

No wonder you keep her picture.

She probably keeps you
warm on cold nights.

- No.

On cold nights now, I
just sit by the fire.

- Hey, they have one in there.

Come on.

What a great room.

- Uh, Clayton.

Oh.

- One day I'm gonna
have a private ceremony

and burn this picture.

My mother's Irish, and
my father was Italian.

Mother felt that since Marci

wasn't Irish,
Italian, or Catholic,

that's why the marriage failed.

To her it was that simple.

What kind of a guy is Clayton?

- Crusader.

Which is okay, I mean, I'm
against a lot of things, man.

A lot of things.

But he's gonna get
his head busted in,

or he's gonna end up
in jail before he's 3o.

Ijust don't dig
violence, in any form.

If I'm gonna throw a bomb,

it's gonna be a love bomb.

And if I'm gonna trip out,
it's gonna be a love trip.

You know what I mean?

- I think so.

- I still have faith in
my fellow human beings,

and so far, I'm right.

- Well, so far.

It's
really weird, though.

People are more afraid
of love than hate.

And love's so much stronger
than hate or violence.

It's just a lot
harder to come by.

- I guess that's true.

- What's this?

- A surprise.

Thank you.

- What's it called?

- It's called Irish Coffee.

- You know what I
told you about coffee?

- It's just a name.

I mean, a fog cutter doesn't
have fog in it, does it?

Give it a try.

- Tastes pretty good.

I think this has booze in it.

- By golly, I
think you're right.

- Mm, just take a
gulp of that, man.

- Fantastic.

- Do you know what's
wrong with this country?

- No, what's wrong
with this country?

- No exercise.

People just stuff themselves,

and then they plop down
in front of their TV set,

or they just go
right off to bed.

- It's a serious national
problem, no doubt about it.

- Yeah, people should run, walk,

or jog right after every meal.

- Right.

Right after?
- Yeah, right after.

- Oh.
- I like to run.

You want to?

- Now?
- Yeah, right now.

- Yeah, okay.

- On your mark, get set, go!

- Now, wait, wait!

All right.

Hut,
two, three, four!

- Wait, wait!

Wait, wait!

Hold it, hold it.

- Oh!

- Oh, hey, that's
really somethin'.

I feel 100% worse than
I did when I started.

- Oh, you.

Hey, ljust
remembered something.

Well, how could I be so stupid?

I've got a friend who
lives here in Santa Fe.

He's got a place here.

- Far out.

- Yeah.
- Can we stay with him?

- Well, no.

I mean, yeah.

He left me the key at his store,

and he's away for the holidays.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Said if I was passing through,
I could stay at his place.

Imagine, me forgetting
a thing like that.

- Imagine.

Can I ask you a question?

- Sure.

- What are we sittin'
here freezin' for?

- I don't know.

I'll pick up the keys
and be right back.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

- I'd like to wish you
a very Happy New Year.

- Happy New Year to you, Sir.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

- Your friend lives here?

GOd!

This is his house?

- Oh, it's just a
duplex apartment.

He rents half of it.

- Out of sight.

Bless you.

- What do you expect
running around

a parking lot in
freezing weather?

It's cold in here.

Come on, I'll start a fire.

. Okay-

Oh, and to think we were
sweating out a motel room.

That's really weird.

- Yeah, I can't imagine
what I was thinking.

- Gesundheit.

- Gotta get a fire started.

- Look at all the
mail this guy gets.

- I'll take care of that, sorry.

Take a look around.

Make yourself at home.

. Okay-

Hey, this guy's very artistic.

I'd like to meet him.

- You would?
- Yeah.

Hey, this picture
has your name on it.

- This fella's very
fond of my work.

All these paintings
have your name on 'em.

- Well, he's very
fond of my work.

- Joe.

- Sometimes people
play games with people.

- You're too much.

You're a different kinda cat.

I swear, I never met
anybody like you before.

- Well, that's a
vanishing breed.

- You're beautiful.

You really are beautiful.

- Would you believe that nobody
ever told me that before?

- Nobody ever told
me that either.

Join the club.

Gesundheit.

What are you doin'?

- I'm takin' off your shoes.

- Taking off my shoes?

Do you have
any Vicks VapoRub?

- Well, yeah, I think so.

Why?

- I'm gonna give you a foot
bath and rub your chest.

- You are?
- Yeah, I am.

Well, look, I don't
think I got a cold exactly.

It's my sinuses.

After 10 years in New York,

they just can't get used
to the shock of clean air.

Bless you.

- Either that, or I'm allergic
to that damn Christmas tree.

I never saw a
brown Christmas tree before.

Brown, yeah.

Well, it's brown
because it's dead.

I bought it the day
after Thanksgiving.

- You're kidding.

- It was a lousy Thanksgiving.

I thought it might cheer me up.

This year I was gonna have
a really great New Year's.

I was gonna spend it with my
old buddy, Charlie McClain.

But I called his ranch in Texas,

and they said he'd
gone down to Mexico.

- What kinda guy is Charlie?

- Charlie?

That's a picture
of the two of us.

We were in Korea together.

- You didn't kill
anybody, did ya?

. Me?

No, no.

I don't think so.

Well, Charlie and I were two

of the biggest goofballs
in the whole outfit.

There's never a dull moment
when old Charlie's around.

I mean, it's wild.

It's really wild.

One day I'd like you to

meet old Charlie.

- Mr. McClain, this
is highly irregular.

- Well, I just wanted to wish
you a Happy New Year properly.

- Well, you wouldn't want me
to lose my job, would you now?

- Oh, of course not.

And don't you worry your
sweet little head about it.

Say, how would you like to come

with me and meet my best pal?

- I'm sorry, we're leaving
for Albuquerque in 1o minutes.

- Doggone the luck.

He's gonna be
awful disappointed.

Well, next time, okay?

- Oh, we'll see.

Now, Happy New Year.

- Yeah, same to you, honey.

Oh!

And put this on
my bill, will ya?

Thank you, sweetheart.
- Oh!

- Man, does this feel good.

Hey, do you mind ifl
wash out a few things?

You do
anything you want!

How long have you lived here?

- I just moved out from New
York about three months ago.

Why Santa Fe?

- Well, it's beautiful country.

I always wanted to live here.

- You sure dig
Indians, don't ya?

- Navajo.

A fantastic people!

And the language is very poetic.

Do you know, they got the
same word for hope and love?

Hard rain is masculine rain,

and gentle rain is feminine.

- Hey, that's far out.

You know, I'm a poet.

I write songs and poems.

- I never knew a
real poet before!

- That's just about all
I have in my suitcase.

- Hey, very nice.

- Thanks for the loan.

- My pleasure.

Oh, very nice.

Very nice.

You should open a clinic.

You're very good at this.

' L Qot to pay for
my Supper. don't l?

- Right, right.

Towel, please.

Yes, Ma'am.

- What is that?

- Oh, it's a project of mine.

It's a model of a new type

of city I've been working on.

- Tell me about it.

Well, I believe,

as most of our
greater architects do,

that cities are dead and dying

and to just keep
building new buildings

on top of the ruins
is not the answer.

- So what is the answer?

- Lifestyles and structures

that enhance nature
instead of destroying it.

- That's terrific.

Have you told anybody about it?

I mean, I bet the
president or the governor

or Congress or somebody
would like to hear about it.

- Well, it's not a
new or original idea.

I mean, everybody-
- Who cares?

It's important, it's necessary.

You gotta promise me you'll
do somethin' about it.

- Okay, I promise.

I think somebody made you up.

- You know, for a backward cat,

you say a lot of heavy things.

Joe?
. Hm?

- Let's have a ceremony.

- What ceremony?

- Burn our photographs.

- Good idea.

- Goodbye, Clayton.

- Goodbye, Marci.

Nine years, up in smoke.

- What are you
doin' New Years Eve?

- Nothing.

What are you doing?

- I'd like to stay here
and spend it with you.

- You know what?
- What?

- I'm gonna start picking up
lady hitchhikers regularly.

- Joe, when I said I wanted
to stay here with ya,

I meant with you.

I just wanna make
that clear because-

- I know, I know,
I'm a little slow

and we'd waste an
awful lot of time.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- I need ya.

Idig you.

I think you dig me.

- I dig you a lot.

- The saddest thing is to
wake up and there's nobody.

- Yeah.

- So we'll just spend a couple

of lovely days and nights
together and then I'll split.

. Okay-

- You're not sure?

- No no, I'm sure.

- Good.

Now, I'm gonna go upstairs
and get on some clothes

and get some things
for breakfast.

Is that little market open?

- Yeah, till midnight.

Look, I can go!

Uh uh!

But I'll need some
bread for groceries!

- Bread for groceries?

Right.

Bread!

Bread for groceries, right.

- I'm gonna fix you a
breakfast you'll never forget!

- Hey!

Don't you run out on me.

. Dqrft worry.

- Remember, I've
got your suitcase,

with all your paperbacks
and your poems.

I'll be damned.

I'll be damned.

- My, that's sure pretty.

You people sure know
how to decorate a town.

- Gracias, Sefior.

- I want to take a bath.

I'm gonna take a bath.

Wood.

Charlie?

- You old son of a gun!

Oh boy, it's good to see ya!

It's really good to see ya!

- Yeah, Charlie-
- I come in

on a champagne flight.

I come all the way from Mexico

to celebrate New
Year's Eve with ya!

Charlie!

- Well, I surprised the
fire out of you, didn't I?

- Yeah, you sure did.

You certainly have.

- Hey, don't you smell purty.

- Yeah, well, I-

- You wasn't
expectin' me, was ya?

- No, as a matter of fact,
I wasn't, you old Texas rat.

Charlie-
- Boy, you're lookin' good.

You know that?

You are lookin' good!

- Yeah, well, why didn't
you give me a call,

let me know you were comin'?

- What?

Waste good money on phone calls

when you could spend
it on booze and women?

You gotta be kiddin'!

Hey, look at this
place you got here.

You livin' out here like
a high doggone, Son.

Look at all them candles.

What you havin'
here, an Irish wake?

- Charlie, there's
somethin' I got to tell you.

- Excuse me a minute.

Hey!

Salvador!

Mi amigo's in la casa.

So bring in those
bags muy pronto!

Si, Sefior!

I got all the bags!

- Hey, Charlie-

- And don't rupture
yourself, Son!

Bring 'em in one at a time!

- No, wait a minute.

Charlie, I got to
explain somethin' to ya.

- What's that?
- What, what, what?

- Sounds like Niagara Falls.

- Niagara...

Oh, good grief.

. Qh!

- Charlie-

- You old rapscallion, you.

You got a little dolly here
somewhere, haven't you?

Where you got her hid, boy?

- Now, look, she
went to the market.

Charlie-
- Oh my goodness,

she must be gettin' awful cold

without her little things on.

- Charlie, it's not
the way you think.

Tiny little rascal, ain't she?

- Yeah, but Charlie, it's
not the way you think.

- Well, listen, I'm as
happy as a clam about it.

And I'm not gonna get
in the way, either.

I'll just sneak out
to the picture show

or someplace soon
as she turns up.

Hey, Sefior!

I got all these bags!

- Oh, the bags.

Charlie!

- Hey, Salvador, you're liable
to sprain something, Son!

- Not very big, but
I'm very strong.

- Just put those bags
down there anywhere, boy.

- You know what,
Charlie, wait, please.

- Hey, Salvador, I'd like
you to meet mi compadre here.

Jose Maroni.

Joe, this is Salvador Rodriguez.

- Very nice to meet you.
- He drove me

all the way here
from the airport.

- Very good. Thank
you, Salvador.

Charlie, just-
- Salvador,

this is mi amigo
grande, Jose Maroni.

- Very pleased.

- Very pleased to
meet you, Salvador.

Charlie, will you
listen to me, please?

- Hey, sit down there, boy.

Take a load off your feet and
have some of this champagne.

- No, Charlie...

Fellas, wait a minute.
- Hey, gracias.

You're really nice fellas.

- Charlie, will you listen
to me for just a second?

- Now, look, you've
got to clear out

of here with all this
stuff and your friend, too.

It's nothing personal, Salvador.

And you too, Charlie.

You got to clear out right now.

- Look, I already told
ya, I'm gonna clear out

and then I'll sneak back in
here, quiet as a little mouse

and I'll crash out on
the couch up there.

- No, Charlie, Charlie,
that's not gonna work.

- Look, if you think
I'm goin' back out

in this Blue Norther,
boy, you're crazy.

- That's exactly what

you're going to have to do.
- Hey, I don't get this.

I don't get this at all.

Do I send you to a hotel

when you come down
home to visit me, huh?

- No, no, Charlie.

And I'm just as
sorry as I could be.

But this is a very
special thing, Charlie,

and I'll explain it all later.

- Well, I'm not gonna interfere.

Shucks, maybe she's
got a girlfriend she
can fix me up with.

I'm human too, you know?

Right, Salvador?

Hey,
very nice fellas.

- Gracias, amigo, gracias.

- Charlie, will you
pay attention, please?

Now, this is not some
broad coming up here.

Charlie, this is a very lovely,

a very sweet, a very young girl.

And you're gonna louse
up the whole deal

unless you leave right now.

- Hey, wait a minute.

You haven't gone and fallen in
love with somebody, have you?

- Oh, no, Charlie.

- You just got yourself out
of nine years of bondage, boy.

Stay out!

- Right, Charlie, you
don't know the girl.

You don't know the situation.

- I don't have to
know the girl or the-

- Charlie, listen to me!

Please!
- Will you stop that?

You're giving me a headache.

- Charlie.

I picked this girl up on
the highway a few hours ago.

She's a hippie, hitchhiker.

You're puttin' me on.

No, no, I'm not.

You picked
up a hippie hitchhiker?

I don't believe it.

- Well, it's true.

Okay , I'm a
little desperate, huh?

Well look, Charlie, I
been without a woman
for three months.

- Oh, you poor boy!
- Yeah.

- No wonder you're lookin'
so wall eyed and jumpy.

Well-

- You think
she's a sure thing?

- Sure thing?

Sure, she's a sure thing.

Charlie, she already asked me.

- She asked you?
- Sure!

- Well, man, you got
yourself a real hot number!

That's right,
a real hot number!

Now, Charlie, will you clear out

and just give me a
call a little later.

- Oh, come on, Salvador.

Let's vamanos, boy.

Come on.

Hi, honey.

Joe was just tellin' me
some lovely things about ya.

- I heard.

- Ginger, this is my
old buddy, Charlie.

- I know.

- Ginger, this is
Salvador Rodriguez.

Let me take those things.

- Honey, Salvador
and me's just goin'.

I'm stayin' over
here at the hotel.

Then Why'd
Yo" bring your bags up?

' MY bags?

Oh, oh, oh, my bags.

Well,
I almost forgot.

I brought Joe and
you too, honey,

some fresh homemade country
smoked deer meat sausage.

I can't wait for y'all
to see these sausages.

- Why don't you just
pay the driver, Charlie?

- What about my hotel?

- Why don't you just pay the
driver and let him split?

- There's about half a dozen
ways out of this situation

and we didn't seem to
hit on a-one of them.

- If you'll wait a minute,

you can drop me at
the bus station.

- Ginger-

- Here's your change
and thanks for the ride.

- Now you see what you've done?

- Look, I'll fix
this up in no time.

- Oh, you already fixed it.

If she leaves here because
of you, old buddy, that's it.

We're through.

Kaput, finished, count on it.

- Hold this.

Salvador?

You got to split, old buddy.

Hey, Sefior, but the sefiorita.

- Nevermind the sefiorita.

I'll explain it to you later.

- You keep the champagne.

It's a present.
- Gracias.

Happy New Year!

- Yeah, Happy New
Year to you too.

- No, it's your fault.
- Shh, shh.

Where's
the cab driver?

Oh, he
had to split, honey.

He was double parked.

- Thanks a lot,
then I'll just walk.

- No, no, no, no, no.

Now, wait.

Look, honey.

This is all my fault.

- No it's not, it's my fault.

I asked for it.

- Ginger, wait, I...

I don't know what you
heard, but I promise you-

- Promise me what?

That you'll take something
beautiful and make it ugly?

A sure thing you
picked up on the road?

A hot number?

- Now see what you've done?

- Don't blame him.

It's you.

You just stood there.

At least Charlie tried.

You tried and he had to lie.

I won't forget that, Charlie.

- Oh, honey, what
are friends for?

- This is absolutely ridiculous.

I don't believe it.

- This is all gonna
come out in the wash.

- Charlie, will
you knock it off?

Now, you've done enough
damage for one day.

- What do you keep
yellin' at Charlie for?

Does it help anything
to keep yellin' at him?

- She's right, Joe.

I'm just a victim
of circumstance.

' YOu?

Now, wait a minute!
I'm the victim.

I'm already convicted.

I didn't even get a trial.

- Why did you have to saw
all those awful things?

- Because I was desperate.

Because it's the only
kind of language this

drunken bum understands.

- Well, now, that hurt, boy.

That really did.

- Did you know that today

was the most beautiful
day of my whole life?

I believed you.

And to think that all I was
to you was just a little...

- Oh my God.

- Look, I just met you.

But from what Joe tells me,

and from what I can see
with my very own eyes,

I know you're just the sweetest,

most decent kind
of a little girl

that any lucky man
would ever hope to meet.

- Thank you.

That's very sweet.

- It's incredible.

- Shh.

- Now, everything is
gonna be hunky dory.

Just remember, I'm
part of the family.

And the thing that you
think is so awful now

is gonna seem just like angel
food cake tomorrow morning.

- Everything is ruined.

- No, no, now it's not.

Now, look, you just go
in the bedroom there,

and you go to bed.

And Joe and me are
gonna stay out here.

Aren't we, Joe?

We all gonna sleep on this thing

and tomorrow it's gonna
turn out just fine.

- Got to go.

- Joe, ask her nice, to stay.

- Ginger, please stay?

Please.

- Come on, honey.

- I'll stay if
you'll stay, Charlie.

- Well, if that's what you want.

- And don't worry.

I won't contaminate your bed.

I'll sleep on the floor.

- That is the silliest
damn thing I've ever heard!

- Easy, boy, now, easy.

Now, you just go on in
there to sleepy bye.

. Dqrft worry.

I'll leave first
thing in the mornin'.

- No, Sir.

Tomorrow we gonna just
love each other to pieces

and bring in that baby New Year.

- You really are a
groovy guy, Charlie.

- Tomorrow, when I'm sober,

you won't be able to stand me.

Not a chance.

- Goodnight, honey.

- Goodnight.

- Psst.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- Everything is
possible through faith.

- Is your insurance paid up?

- Well, now, that's
gratitude for ya.

I just averted a disaster
here, there's no justice.

- Charlie, are you plannin'
to flop here indefinitely?

- You know you're just
a bundle of nerves.

- Answer the question.

- I forgot what it was.

- Are you going or aren't you?

- Well, I don't see how I can.

I promised that sweet little
thing in there I'd stay.

I can't leave for your sake.

- Charlie, old buddy, our
friendship has survived

some incredible
tests over the years.

But this one, this
one tops them all.

And I swear, I'm
gonna get you for this

if it's the last
thing I ever do.

- You're just disappointed.

That's why you're sayin'
ugly things you don't mean.

What is this thing?

- What the hell
does it look like?

It's a Christmas tree.

- Well, it's not anymore.

It's now an incendiary bomb.

- Charlie, will
you get out of here

so I can think up a way
to clear up this mess?

- You better just cool
it for awhile, old buddy.

- What a mess.

What a ridiculous mess.

- If it'll make you
feel any better,

I'll tell you some
of my problems.

- Oh, Charlie.

- It always makes me
feel a whole lot better

to find out somebody else
is in worse shape than I am.

You want to know how
I spent my Christmas?

- Not particularly.

- I spent my Christmas all
alone with just my old dog

and a couple of drunk cowboys.

Santa Clause didn't
bring me nothin'

but a big old sack of heartache.

- Charlie-

- Maybe I wasn't a
model husband, Joe.

I'll admit that.

But I was a durn good father.

And I love those kids,
Joe, and I miss 'em.

Shucks, on cold winter
nights like this,

I even miss old Sugar.

- Oh my God.

- You don't care what's
happenin' to me, do ya?

- Charlie, will you
please go so I can think?

- Joe, I think it's high time

I told you about my discovery.

- Your discovery?

- Do you know what least 85%
of the joy derived from sex is?

Now, look, I figured
this out all by myself.

But I am certain that
science will bear me out.

85% of the joy derived from sex

is nothing in the
world but anticipation.

- Jesus!

- Now, don't you
realize that the longer

you prolong this thing,

the finer it's gonna be
when it finally happens?

- Charlie, I'm warning
you, go to a hotel now.

- You know, actually, I'm
a blessin' in disguise.

- Well, if you weren't
drunk, I'd clobber you.

- Do you honestly believe

that this temporary
little setback

with that precious
little thing in there

is gonna end your romance?

Why, no, boy.

- Charlie-
- It's just gonna

make it all better.

- Charlie-
- Because anticipation

is goin' right to work.

- I don't believe this.

I don't believe it.

- Look, don't you realize

that she's all curled up in
there right now, in your bed,

just throbbin' and pulsatin'

with love for you?
- I'm warnin' you, Charlie,

that's enough.

- I just tingle all over
when I think about it.

- I'm warnin' you, Charlie.

- Do you think all this
powerful love is goin' to waste?

. Why, no, boy!

It's just gettin'
all stored up minute

by minute and hour by hour.

- Charlie, I'm warning you-

- Just building a growing
and warmin' and throbbin'.

- Charlie-
- And when y'all finally

do get together, powee!

Whoopee, yoo-hoo!
- That's it!

You bastard.

. ow!

- What's goin' on?

Are y'all tryin'
to kill each other?

- Charlie, why?

Why did you have to come
here now, of all times?

- Don't you know, boy?

I'm lonely.

I just had
to be with somebody

on New Year's Eve
who cares about me.

- Charlie.

Texas
International, Flight 57,

now arriving, Gate 5A.

- Mornin', buddy.

- Mornin'.

Hello?

Joe?

Yeah.

- Hey, Joe.

Sugar here.

- Well, hello.

Hey, this is a surprise.

Where are ya?

- Albuquerque.

I got a half-hour layover here
so I thought I'd just call

and wish you a Happy New Year.

- Well, a Happy New
Year to you too.

- Kids and I were in
Honolulu for Christmas

and I sent them on ahead to stay

with mother in Dallas
for a few days.

And hey, well, Joe,
darlin', how are ya?

I missed you.

- Oh, and I've
missed you too honey.

Say, have you heard from
our old friend lately?

- If you mean my darlin' ex,

the wanderin' mud king, no.

He hasn't paid his child
support in over five months.

I'd sure like
to lay my hands on him.

- You know, it's funny
you should say that.

It's funny you should say that.

- Charles is there with you?

- That's right.

Look, honey, would you
hold on for just a second?

I'm gonna take this
in the other room.

Don't hang up.

- Who's that?
- An old friend.

- I wonder who that was.

- I hope it was a girl.

Heard him call somebody honey.

- After breakfast,
I better split.

- Nothin' doin'.

You're not goin' anywhere.

- I'll see you later.
- Hey, where you goin'?

- Oh, out for a little while.

- Well, wait a minute.

That's not very hospitable.

You got company here.

- Well, you two seem
to get along just fine.

- I won't be here
when you get back.

So goodbye.

- Now, wait a minute.

We got a date tonight.

Regardless of how
you feel about me,

you gotta keep it.

I mean, fair is fair.

- Well, what about me?

Somebody's got to fix
me up with somebody.

- I'm workin' on that
right now, old buddy.

As a matter of fact,

I may have you fixed up with one

of those real hot
numbers you like.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Here's a little
souvenir from the islands.

- Oh, thank you, Ma'am.

Oh, Sugar, I can't tell you

how much I appreciate
you doing this.

- Are you kiddin'?

After what that
so-and-so's done to me,

I wouldn't miss a
chance like this

for all the leis in Honolulu.

- You're one heck of
a fine cook, honey.

You know that?

If I was around you for long,

I'd be as big as a barn.

- You really like it?

- Mm hm.

But you didn't eat
nothin', hardly.

- Well, I'm not very hungry.

- Oh, darlin', don't
you know that things

between men and women never
end abruptly like this?

They just usually fizzle out.

What's on your mind, honey?

- Well, I got to tell somebody.

- Well, I'm somebody.

- I'm gonna have a baby.

- Oh.

- How is he, Joe?

Still drinking?

- Well, he's uh...

Yeah, he's still drinking.

- Well, if you left him with
this girl you picked up,

all I can say is lots of luck.

- Oh come on, Sugar.

Now, Charlie's
got his bad points

but he wouldn't try
anything like that.

- Want to put some money on it?

- No.

- Are you serious?

- Absolutely.

If things don't work
out between you and Joe,

I'll marry you and give

that little shaver
of yours a good name.

- You're crazy.

You don't even know me.

- You're an exceptionally
fine little woman.

And I don't care if
the kid is mine or not.

A kid is a kid.

- That's far out, Charlie.

But I guess ljust
better go this alone.

And don't say anything
to Joe about it, okay?

- You're somethin'
else, you know that?

- Charlie, let's make
tonight special, okay?

- How come?

- I don't know.

It's just important to me.

- Whatever you say, kid.

- Gimme five.

- Hey, Charlie.

Here's that red-hot
number I promised you.

- Hello, Charlie.

- Well now, how about that?

Isn't this a lovely surprise?

- Good evening, Russell.
- Oh, Mr. Maroni,

I have your table
right here, Sir.

- Good.

- Excuse me, Sir.
- Mm hm.

- Thank you, Russell.

Well, what would
everybody like to drink?

- Well, it's New Year's Eve.

Let's celebrate.

A whole bottle of champagne.

Waiter, a whole Mag-um.

- Why don't you stick with what

you've been drinking, Charlie?

And it's pronounced Mag-num.

- I don't care if it's
pronounced Boxcar.

We want the biggest
bottle you got.

- Yes, Sir.

- For a man who was
dying of loneliness

less than two hours ago,

you've made a remarkable
recovery, Charlie.

- Well, why not?

Being reunited with
my darling Sugar

and meetin' little Ginger here,

and discovering that my best pal

has this delightful
sadistic streak,

that's enough to rekindle
the spirits of any man.

- Paper hats?

- Oh my, what fun.

- Charlie, since
you're the mud king,

you get to wear the crown.

- You know it, baby.

And Diamond Lil, here's a little
dunce cap for you, darlin'.

- Thank you, darling.

Your thoughtful nature is
something I've really missed.

- Have you now?

You're looking
good, Sugar, baby.

You've put on a little
weight, didn't you, honey?

That Italian boyfriend of yours

must be feedin' you
lots of spaghetti

and macaroni and stuff.

- How did you know about him?

- Oh, society columns.

That's the way I keep up with
you and my kids these days.

- Why don't we dance?

- Oh, let's see if Charlie
can stand up first.

- Oh, no, wait!

Let's have a champagne first.

Hey, wait, let me do this.

I'm an expert at this.

You got to watch out, though.

There's the thing.

Ow!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Saludos, amigos!

9h, Happy New Year!

That's a little toast here.

- Happy New vean
- Captain?

' Sir?

I'd like to buy
a round

of mariachis for
the margarita band.

They look parched.

- Yes, Sir.
- God love ya.

- Ginger, would
you like to dance?

Sure.

- Mm.

Oh, well, oh, hey!

Sugar, baby, shall we
trip the light fantastic?

- We shall trip, I
can promise you that.

- Oh, you are a darling
thing, aren't you?

Come on.

Oops, watch that.

- You're not mad anymore?

- No, I don't stay mad long.

- I'm sorry the way things...

And if Charlie hadn't
arrived, maybe...

- I'm glad he did.

I learned some things.

- Ginger, you know I
didn't mean what I said.

Or even what you thought
I might have said.

- Tonight's a fun night, okay?

Tomorrow I'll
split, no problems.

- You feel mighty
good, Sugar, baby.

Mighty good.

- Do I?
- Mm hm.

- How can you tell
the difference

between all us girls, anyway?

- Oh, I can tell.

How's little Joe, Peggy Sue?

- They're fine.

They had a nice Christmas.

They loved your presents.

- Good.

Good.

Tell me about your
dress designer.

- That's really none of
your business, Charlie.

- Oh, I think it is,

if he's gonna be
my kids' new daddy.

- Where'd you hear that?

- Gossip columns.

- Well, I really don't
care to discuss it.

- Well, I think we better.

If he's gonna try to fill
my shoes, I think we better.

- Charlie, let's sit down
before you fall down.

I'll tell you what,
let's change partners.

I wanna dance, come on.

Excuse me.

- Hey!

That's swell!

Woo!

- Anyhow, anyhow, I
could sell out and have

a little money left to go in
on a ranch down in Sonora.

And I want you to
come in with me.

- A ranch?
- Yeah.

- Hell, Charlie, I
don't know one end

of a cow from the other.

- Oh, Joe, you learn
ranchin' in no time

and it's beautiful
down there, man.

It's wild and beautiful.

We could live like
kings down there.

- Charlie's a barrel
of laughs, huh?

- Well, you just try living
with a barrel of laughs, honey.

- I'm still in the
mud business anyway

and I'm movin' to Mexico.

- You're not sellin'
anything, buster.

Half that company belongs to me.

- Well, listen, we
better get out fast

before you end up with a
big old half of nothin'.

- You're drunk, Charlie.

You don't know what
you're talkin' about.

- Well, why don't you
just come and take

a look at the books, Mamacita?

- You watch your language!

- What'd I say? I
didn't say nothing.

- Look, we're trying
to have a party, okay?

- I'm having fun.

Hey, man, will you pour me
another glass of champagne?

- Oh, she's had enough, Charlie.

- Oh, give the
little lady a drink!

- And why don't you go to
the restroom, wash your face,

and comb your hair?

You look like the
wild man from Borneo.

- And why don't
you go on a diet?

You look like a fat
lady in a sideshow.

- Oh my goat!

My leg is broke!

- Oh!
- Charlie-

- I think she broke
my doggone leg.

Oh!
- Mr. Maroni...

- Mr. Maroni... - Ginger
get your wrap, will you?

- Mr. Maroni,

- Yes, I know, we're going.

- I hate to say this,

but I'm afraid you
and your people

are going to have to take
a more secluded table.

- Just bring us
the check, please.

- That won't be necessary.

I'll mail it to you.

- Thank you.

- We got to get a doctor.
- Come on, Charlie.

- Thank you, Russell, thank you.

- Well, I don't care
if I am crippled.

I'm clearing out and
I'm going to Mexico.

- You can go to Timbuktu
as far as I'm concerned,

but you're not sellin'
the mud business.

- Well, this is the
first time I've ever been

kicked out of a restaurant.

- Falling-down drunk.
- Falling-down drunk?

I was kicked over!

- And you have turned
into an alcoholic.

- Oh, shut up!

I divorced you to stop
you from buggin' me,

so stop buggin' me!

- This is turning out
to be one of the truly

great New Year's Eve parties.

- Pay up!
- No I am not.

Not a nickel till
I can see my kids

any time I want to see 'em!

- That's not what
the judge said.

- You know what you can
do with the judge, honey!

You don't need my money!

It's spite!

Pure spite!

That's all it is!

- You have a
responsibility, Charlie.

They are your kids!

- They are not my kids!

Not anymore and the
next time your old lady

or that precious daddy of yours

won't let me see 'em,
I'm gonna kidnap 'em.

You just try that,

and I'll have you
put away so far,

they'll have to feed
you with a bean shooter.

- To one helluva
party. You invited her!

I didn't!

- Well, I'm not gonna
talk about it anymore.

- Well, good cause I don't
want to talk about it either.

- Why aren't you out at
some cheap honky-tonk

with one of your car hops
or your cocktail waitresses?

- Any car hop I know
is a better woman

than you are, sweetheart!

- Male menopause, that's
what's the matter with you.

No other woman ever locked me

out of her bedroom
but you, sweetheart.

- Oh!

Well, that's because they
were cheap and I had pride.

I wasn't about to compete

with every ticky-tail car
hop in the whole country.

I gave you 10 wonderful years!

- No, you gave me
about two, actually.

Then you went frigid on me.

- There are no frigid
women, Charles,

only clumsy, selfish men.

- Did your psychiatrist
tell you that?

- You caused me to go to one.

You did it, with all
you're catting around.

- Oh, bull, bull, bull!

I never catted around!

You locked me out.

- Lie, lie, lie!

- Using your sex
like a door prize.

If I didn't jump every
time you said, jump,

hit the lock, baby.

O-U-T, out.

- That is a bald-faced lie.

- No, it ain't!

Other things become more
important to you than me.

Your social work, your
political causes, activities!

You didn't have time for me!

You stopped being a woman
and turned into a machine!

Well, when you did, you turned
me out to pasture, honey!

Well, I pastured.

Let me tell you, I pastured!

I hate you.

- I hope everybody's
having a good time.

- And I hope you rot in hell.

- Well, I ain't.

Not just yet anyway.

'Cause I'm goin' to Mexico.

And if Joe doesn't marry
little Ginger here,

I will, and give that little

shaver of hers a good name

and teach him to
grow up like a man!

That's what I'm gonna do!

- Little shaver?

- Charlie.

- Sorry, honey.

You were gonna find out
sooner or later anyhow.

You promised.

- What little shaver
is he talking about?

- I'm gonna have a baby

in about
seven-and-a-half months.

- You're a surprise
a minute, aren't you?

You know who the father is?

- Yes.

- That fella we
cremated yesterday?

Yes.

- Does he know the child is his?

- Yes.

He doesn't want children.

He doesn't think a child
should be subjected

to the world the
way it is today.

- Oh, he doesn't?

Well, then he should be
celibate, don't you think?

Or maybe let you
know about the pill?

- I know about the pill.

I want this baby.

- What about a father?

Or are you in the market
for one, is that it?

I mean, you're gonna
just keep sleeping

with strange men until
you find someone who-

- Oh, come on, honey,
let's go to the hotel.

We don't have to stay
here to be insulted.

- How can you be so dumb?

- Yeah, you're right.

It's not every day I pick
up a pregnant hitchhiker.

- Thanks for the
swell party, fellas.

And tomorrow, if I don't
get my child support,

I report you to the judge!

Good riddance, you old
bitch!

- Pregnant.

- Stupid broad.

- Pregnant!

- Dumb broad.

Happy New Year, Charlie.

- Happy New Year, Joe.

- Come on, let's go out and
have ourselves some fun.

- No, Charlie, I don't
feel much like it.

- Well, we're out of booze.

What kind of New
Years we gonna have

if we don't get some more booze?

- Oh, come on.

Let's go out and have
ourselves some fun,

even if it kills us.

Why not?

- Ah!
- That's beautiful.

That's beautiful.

- Fantastic.

Very pretty.

Very pretty.

- Beautiful.
- Joe?

Joe?
- Yeah?

- Do you know what old
Lot said to his wife

when he looked back and saw

that she had turned
into a pillar of salt?

- No, what did old Lot
say about his wife's salt?

He said, "Honey, I sure
hate to tell you this,

but you have turned
into a pillar of salt."

- That's a joke?

- That's it.

Oh my goodness,
look at the bell!

Somebody forgot to
decorate the bell!

- Oh, that's terrible.

Awful.
- Well, hey, it is.

Let's decorate it for them.

Want to?
- No, no.

- No, come on, let's do it.

Get a little nearer here.

- No nearer.

Stay there.
- Come on,

get a little nearer.

Ah.

- Got one?
- Got it.

- All right, put
yours over there

and I'll put mine up yonder.

Here, Sir, could you
hold this for me, please?

Thank you-

Some women like old Sugar,

should be belted
every now and then.

- Who you think you're kiddin'?

Sugar is tougher,

meaner, than you
and me put together.

You never laid a hand on her.

- I did so.

I knocked the fire
out of her once.

- What'd you hit her with?

- That, old buddy.

Right smack on the jaw.

She saw stars for a week.

- Yeah?

Yeah.

She danced around,
yellin' like a banshee.

You'd thought I'd killed her.

It was lovely.

- What'd she do then?
- Huh?

- What'd she do then?
- Oh.

Well, she naturally hit me back.

- What'd she hit you with?

- A golf club.

- Golf club?

- A number nine iron.

Right across the top of my head.

She almost fractured
my dad-blamed skull.

I don't see why it's
so doggone funny.

Took seven stitches in my scalp.

Look at that.

Would you look at that?

You came that close to losing

the best pal you ever had.

- Ma'am, look.

Look at those boys over there.

They're drinkin' the
liquor in this park.

- Oh.

- Now, that's against the law.

- God bless America!

Help us and save us.

- Amen.

- Uh oh.
- Hm?

Here come the fuzz.

- Here come the fuzz.

- Here come the fuzz.

- Here come the fuzz!

- All right, stop right there,

in the name of the law.

Now, get your hands up.

Come on, get 'em
up a little higher.

- Everett, Everett!

Put that dad-blamed gun away.

Why don't you go over yonder

and straighten out
them luminarias?

I'll handle this.

All right, boys.

- Officer, this may not seem

to appear what it is underneath.

- No way, you see.

I think that you boys

better come along with me.

- Woo.

- Shh.

You tryin' to wake
up everybody in town?

No, Sir.

- You boys sure had it rough.

I'm just sorry that I
had to spoil your fun.

Why, I'd be the last
person in the world

to throw a couple
of war veterans

in jail on New Year's Eve.

- It's all right, Captain.

You were just doing your job.

- We haven't seen each other
since the prison camp in Korea.

- Yeah.

I just got over my amnesia and
they sent me off to Vietnam.

- I sure feel sorry
for you fellas.

You sure had it rough.

- Well-
- Yes, we have.

Would you like to see
where I got it in the leg?

- That's terrible, Captain.

You don't want to see it.
- Oh, no thanks.

No thanks.

I'm just sorry that I had

to do what I had
to do, that's all.

- It's all right, Sir.

- You're just like us.

Duty comes first.

- Duty first, Captain.

- Look, boys, will
you do me a favor?

Yes, Sir.

- Just stay inside, huh?
- Yes, Sir.

- Captain.

- You know who I really miss?

' Who?

- Les Paul and Mary Ford.

- Pregnant.

Pregnant.

The world's
becoming feminized.

- Right.

- Right.

- Men have got to take over,

stop this pussy footin' around.

- Right.

- Damn!
- Hm?

- I got an idea.

- What?

- Let's go out in the streets

and get this whole
movement started.

- Right.

Shake the complacent
bastards into action.

" Right!

But first let's get
something to eat.

I'm starved.

- My head hurts.

Huevos rancheros.

That's what you need.

Fix you right up.

Oh, God, I hope so.

Come on.

Coffee gives you wrinkles

Hm?

- Wrinkles.

- Wrinkles?

- Mm hm, it's a fact.

- Hm.

Hey,

Joe,

you can't eat that
without hot sauce, boy.

Here.

Whoa.

That'll fix you right up there.

Ain't it good?

Mm.

You know the trouble with that?

We're like the old boll weevil,

just lookin' for a home.

Mm.

Ah.

My dad built up a business

from scratch, from nothing.

Since he's been gone,

I just watched it dwindle away.

My old man was a shoemaker.

He had a little shop.

- You know, one time,
I asked him, I said,

"Pop, what do you want
in the whole wide world?"

You know what he said?

He looked me right in
the eye and he said,

"Joseph, I want to make
a fine pair of shoes."

Man, ain't that somethin'?

Isn't that beautiful?

I mean, he knew.

That's all he really wanted.

- I know.

Oh, I know.

Boy, my dad was about
10 feet tall to me.

I mean, when I was a kid,

it always seemed to me he lived

in a giant world among giant men

and giant machinery.

Never knew how to show
his affection to me.

Anyway, he took me
on this deer hunt.

With some oil men,
some cronies of his.

I never told you about this.

We was down near Bandera

and staying one cold autumn
morning when all of a sudden,

this 10-point buckjumps up.

He's about...

Oh, about 150 yards off.

My dad motioned that
I should take him.

Well, I shot him.

At first, I thought
I'd missed him.

He run like hell about 50
yards and then he dropped.

- Hm.

- I shot him right
through the heart.

Well, my dad was
pretty excited, I'll tell you.

He kept yellin', "Great shot!

Great shot, boy!"

Later, he's
watchin' me skin this old buck.

I was lookin' into
the big brown eyes

of this deer that'd run 50 yards

with a 0.30-caliber
bullet through his heart,

and thinkin' how much grander

and more beautiful
he was than me.

- Hm.

- And all of a sudden, I felt
my dad's hand on my shoulder.

And I looked up.

He had great big old
tears in his eyes.

He was just bustin'
with pride and joy.

I never seen him
like that before.

Well, Joe, I don't
deer hunt no more.

Three weeks later,
my dad was dead.

He dropped dead right up

on the derrick floor
of an oil well,

right up there where
he'd spent all his life.

Maybe I let him down.

I don't know, I guess I have.

I just hope, though,
that he'd understand.

There I go ,
bawlin' again.

- Well...

Damn.

- Come on, old son.

Let's take a drive up
in the mountains, huh?

. Okay-

- Listen, kid, you're the
one who's pregnant, not I.

- Sugar, you're in worse
shape than all of us.

You're a divorced
woman with two kids

and you're still in love
with your ex-husband.

And you're miserable.

- Well.

Okay.

Let's assume that
I'd take him back.

Now, just assume, mind you.

- Stop assuming.

Stop playing games.

If you want him back,
you can get him back.

- Just how do I got
about doing that?

- Help him.

Don't buck him.

Forget your pride.

Take him in your arms
and tell him you dig him.

Cry if you have to.

Get down on your knees.

Tell him you're all the
awful things he says you are.

Be honest.

- You've got to be kidding.

- Well, I don't know
how it was with you,

when you and Sugar
split up but boy,

I can't make another
mistake like that.

I just couldn't take it.

- I know, I know.

- This girl, she's...

Charlie, she's really
got to me in a different,

in a wild kind of way.

Oh, I don't know if it's 'cause
I'm on a rebound from Marci,

or lonely or-
- Horny?

- Yeah, horny.

Can't get her out of my head.

- I know.

She's a very special
kind of a little person.

- Oh, she is, Charlie.

She is.

Man, I don't know
if I can handle it.

Pregnant.

- I wish I could help you, Joe.

I really do.
- Yeah, sure do too.

Hey ,
look at those kids out there.

Little rascals.

- Yeah.

- Hey, let's go down there
and challenge 'em, huh?

Show 'em what real
war's all about.

Want to?
- Oh, I don't know.

- Oh, come on, let's go.

Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

Hey.

Hey, kids?

You want to have
a fight with us?

We gonna challenge
you to a fight, okay?

All you kids against us, okay?

Okay-

okay?

Listen!

Wait a minute!

We got to get some ammunition.

Joe?

- Sure.
- You all right?

Listen!

Get over there!

We'll get some
snowballs here, okay?

Okay.

Wait a minute!

Get you little buggers!

You little rascals!

Got you, bugger!

Steady!

Charge!

- Everett!

Come back here.

Leave your gun alone.

Why don't you stay with the car?

I'll handle this.

- GO get 'em!

' Chafge!

- Hold it!

' Chafge!

- Oh, buddy.

I think we lost that war.

I think we did.

- Officer, we'd like
to report a mugging.

- Charlie?

- Look who's here.

- You invite those people?

Got to
be the wrong house.

- Must be.

- I gotta talk to you.

- Charlie, I uh, um,

been doing some uh,
thinking about uh, us.

And uh, well, I...

I'm willing to discuss
our situation, if you are.

- What you got up your sleeve?

- Oh, nothing.

It's just that uh, well,
we were partners once.

And I thought we could, uh,

well, uh, have a meeting
of the board, huh?

Come on.

The only time your wife invites

you in the bedroom these days

is for business conference.

Hell, I can't even
take care of myself.

- I didn't ask you to marry me.

I just asked you to love me.

- Charlie?
- Hm?

- Charlie?
- Hm?

- Charlie,

I've been a horrible,
spoiled selfish bitch

and I want you to forgive
me and take me back.

- You know I picked you
up for just one reason.

- Wanting someone
isn't wrong or evil.

- My darling, I'll
be so good to you

if you take me back.

I'll never, never, never
lock you out again.

And you'll be too
tired from loving me

to even think of another woman.

Oh, Charlie, please,
take me back.

Oh, please!

- Oh, I wish I had
a witness to this.

Sugar, honey, get up from there.

What if somebody came in?

- Do you love me
even a little bit?

- Oh, darling, you know I do.

I never loved all
those other gals.

I just-
- Oh, no, no,

don't talk about it ever.

- I never loved anybody but you.

Look at the ring.

I never took that ring off.

Oh, Charlie.

Do you think I'm fat?

- Oh, no, honey, you're just-

- Do you still desire me?

- Oh, you know I do.

- Well, I love you.

Mm.

Passionately.

And I desire you passionately.

And I only wish that
I could prove it.

Oh darling, I do, I do.

- You can, you can!

- Uh, sweetheart, uh, not now.

Uh wait, wait!

- I can't, I can't!

- Oh! Charlie!

- I don't believe in free love.

I mean, love's not free.

You have to earn it,
work for it, pay for it.

I believe in God.

I believe in the
sanctity of marriage.

I believe in work, all the
things you people seem to hate.

- You don't know what I hate.

I'm not a category.

I'm me.

And you're not a
category either.

- I'm only sure of one thing.

I don't want to hurt you.

But I just don't
know if I can handle

you having someone
else's child like this.

- I don't know if you can
handle anything at all.

- Well, kids, I've decided
to take old Sugar back.

Yeah , well,
let's say, we both decided.

- Congratulations.

- Joe, boy, I've called a cab.

We're gonna clear out of here

and let you two get acquainted.

I gotta split too.

- Hey, what you trying
to do, make me feel bad?

- Can you give me a
lift to the bus station?

- Well, sure, but-

- Hey, Joe, why don't
you take her, huh?

- Well, I'd like to, Sugar, but-

- Hey, listen you two.

If we can work things out
after all we've been through,

you all should at least
get a decent start.

- Great!

- I stayed for the party.

The party's over.

Look, if you two
are gonna get married again,

I'd be glad to be your best man.

- Well, why not?

You're still my best friend.

- No, I'm not.
- Hm?

- I'm your only friend.

- Yeah.

- But think how lucky we are.

At least we got one friend.

Bye.

You take care now.

- You bet.
- Okay.

. Sugar?

- Bye, Josephus.

We'll be in touch, huh?

- Sure, sure.

Bye.

Ginger, I'd be glad
to drive you to the station.

- Why?

- When somethin's
over, it's over.

I'm not good enough for ya.

- I never said that.

' Okay!

So you're uptight.

Well, who isn't?

So you need some time to
get your head together.

Fine.

But if you ever
want to build one

of those wonderful new cities

or shake the world up at all,

make it a better place for
kids and people and stuff,

then you just got to get it on.

And the same thing goes for me.

If you don't want to get
involved with me, okay.

But do yourself a favor.

The next time
somebody comes along

and offers herself to
ya, you better take her

'cause you need somebody bad.

You know what hurt the most?

You never even asked to
read one of my poems.

- You all right, kid?

"You're a
good man, Joe Maroni.

And I'm a lucky girl."

- Hello?

Joe?

What in the world's the
matter with you, boy?

We left that sweet
little old girl standin'

down there in front of
the bus station, cryin'.

Don't you know
she's crazy about-

Joe?

Joe?

Joe?

- Excuse me, did you
see a pretty young girl?

She was wearing kind
of a hairy, fuzzy coat.

She was carrying a
guitar and a suitcase.

It was an old suitcase.

- Well, I'd remember
a face like that.

- Well, I think she got
on the bus to Colorado.

- Well, the bus to Colorado
left 15, 20 minutes ago.

- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.

- Captain Dieter?

- Oh no, not you again.

Is this your car?

- Yes sir, it is.

Captain Dieter, this is a
matter of life and death.

I've got to stop
that northbound bus.

- Is that so?
- Yes, Sir.

First I let you off for
disturbin' the peace,

then you're illegally parked.

Now you want me to
help you hold up a bus?

Yes, Sir.

Please, you see, there's a
girl on that bus and Captain,

I don't know exactly
what she's goin'

and I've got to find her
because I've been terrible

to her and I'm an idiot!

- Well, I'll go along
with you on that.

Where's that other idiot,
that buddy of yours?

Who, Charlie?

Well, Captain, he's
gone back to Texas.

- Well, heaven help Texas.

- Please, Captain.

If I don't stop the bus,
I may lose the girl.

And I'd sure hate
to do that now.

Oh, Captain, could you help
an old soldier, please?

- All right.
- Thank you.

- Everett, you take this car

on back to the Sheriff's office

and wait for us yonder, will ya?

Come on, get in.
- Keys are in it.

J' Break it to me easy J'

J' If you really don't
love me no more J'

J' Remember I'm a lady,
should be treated as one J'

J' That's for sure J'

J' Don't you remember
I weep, play, love J'

J' Don't you remember
how we made love J'

J' Don't you remember
how we played love J'

- Driver, this old boy here

has lost somebody and he thinks

that maybe she's on this bus.

- Hurry up, I'm on a schedule.

- Thank you.

- Ginger, I've got
to talk to you.

Will you get off the
bus with me, please?

- No.

- Ginger, please.

I've gotta talk to
you, it's important.

Fella,
I gotta get home.

- Just a minute.

Ginger, please.

Sheriff, she doesn't
want to get off the bus.

- Well, what do you want
me to do, arrest her?

You know, boss, she
ain't a-breakin' the law.

- Mister, you either
pay or get off the bus.

- Sheriff, could you lend $5?

'$5?

You've got my car as security.

- Here.

- Thank you, Sheriff.

You won't be sorry.

- Can I go now?

I wish you would.

- Ginger, I'm going to stay on
this until you listen to me.

Ginger, I'm the most stupid...

I know I hurt you.

I'm sorry.

I want you and I
want your child.

You've got to believe me.

You're right, I do need you.

But you've got to believe me.

- What do you need me for?

- Because I love you.

Because I think I need you more

than I've ever needed
anyone in my life.

- You don't even know who I am.

- I only know you're
the most beautiful

thing that ever happened to me

and I can't let you go now.

Mister,
the state law says

that you will
remain in your seat.

- I'll never have
the chance to know

who you are if you'll leave now.

Ginger, you've gotta
give me a chance.

I said sit
down in your seat.

- Just a minute.

I wanna hear one of your poems,

I mean, if you go away I'll
never hear one of your poems.

Will you read me a poem?

- I said sit down.

Sorry, folks!

Have to get off
the bus a minute.

- Yes, Ma'am, here.
- Thank you.

- There you go.

- And a radio too.
- Yes, ma'am.

I got them.

- Be sure to take it easy.

- Yes, I'm trying.
- Please excuse me.

- Yes, Ma'am.

I think I got most of them.

She had a few.

Do you have any
more of the pieces?

- Well, there are
only 16 in each set.

- No, thank you.

Here's two more.

Here, put these in.

There should be 16 on each side.

I'm sorry, I really am.
- Oh, goodness.

- Thank you.

- Okay, folks.

Let's load it up to go.

- You going with us, Mister?

- No thanks.

I had my $5 worth.

J' Wake me up in the mornin' J'

J' You know I got a
lotta songs to sing J'

J' Lots of highway to travel J'

J' And lots of sunshine
and strawberry string J'

J' And I'm feelin' kinda silly J'

J' 'Cause I can't stop grinnin' J'

J' Sunshine makes
me feel that way J'

J' I got a bad case
of sweet cheeks J'

J' And it's showin' all over me J'