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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,107 --> 00:00:03,500 So, Lisa Apple had a baby? 2 00:00:03,778 --> 00:00:06,230 - With Dad? - Correct. 3 00:00:06,598 --> 00:00:08,718 I'm sure this is a little surreal. 4 00:00:08,724 --> 00:00:10,689 But once the shock wears off, 5 00:00:10,695 --> 00:00:13,692 you'll have this brand-new baby sister to enjoy. 6 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,073 O-okay. How is he not in trouble? 7 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,573 I would think he would be in serious trouble. 8 00:00:21,579 --> 00:00:23,095 Why would he be in trouble? 9 00:00:23,469 --> 00:00:25,491 We were not together when this happened. 10 00:00:25,497 --> 00:00:28,582 So, does that mean that he put his "P" in her "V"? 11 00:00:28,588 --> 00:00:30,887 - Milo! - It's okay. It's okay. I got this. 12 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,402 - Yep. But keep in mind, - Martin. 13 00:00:34,408 --> 00:00:37,170 that is something that I do pretty regularly to your mom. 14 00:00:37,176 --> 00:00:39,584 With. You do it with their mom. 15 00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:41,700 Any chance I get. 16 00:00:41,706 --> 00:00:42,906 That's true. 17 00:00:43,875 --> 00:00:45,516 No further questions. 18 00:00:45,522 --> 00:00:46,899 No further pancakes. 19 00:00:46,905 --> 00:00:48,500 Uh, gotta motor. 20 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,679 Gonna be late tonight. College fair. 21 00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:53,586 College fair? Seriously? Should I come? 22 00:00:53,592 --> 00:00:54,792 Up to you. 23 00:00:54,876 --> 00:00:56,384 So you do want me there? 24 00:00:56,576 --> 00:00:58,892 No presh, I just have to plan my day. 25 00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:04,107 ♪ Keep giving me hope for a better day ♪ 26 00:01:04,113 --> 00:01:07,557 ♪ Keep giving me love to find a way ♪ 27 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,904 ♪ Through this heaviness I feel, I just need ♪ 28 00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:17,314 - ♪ Someone to say everything's okay ♪ - Sync/Corrections by PetaG for www.addic7ed.com 29 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,078 ♪ Everything's okay ♪ 30 00:01:20,488 --> 00:01:22,983 I don't get it. They didn't ask to meet her. 31 00:01:22,989 --> 00:01:24,237 They didn't even ask her name. 32 00:01:24,243 --> 00:01:26,126 How did I not know about Mae's college fair? 33 00:01:26,666 --> 00:01:27,868 Hey, um... 34 00:01:27,874 --> 00:01:29,534 Lisa didn't say anything about me 35 00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:31,846 - being able to see Annie? - She'll get there. 36 00:01:31,852 --> 00:01:33,539 She just needs more time. 37 00:01:33,545 --> 00:01:37,502 Right now, Lisa's just really stressed out about the financial stuff. 38 00:01:37,508 --> 00:01:38,800 And if she can't make it work, 39 00:01:38,806 --> 00:01:41,306 she's gonna have to move back to Idaho with her parents. 40 00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:44,319 Yeah, well, I don't know how much longer I can sit on the bench. 41 00:01:44,325 --> 00:01:46,089 I mean, I thought I could, but... 42 00:01:46,095 --> 00:01:48,673 every day that passes, it's just... 43 00:01:48,679 --> 00:01:50,073 gnawing at me. 44 00:01:50,674 --> 00:01:53,975 You know, there's this little thing that I didn't even know that I had, 45 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,290 I didn't even know that I wanted, and she just... 46 00:01:56,397 --> 00:01:57,890 ripped it away. 47 00:01:57,896 --> 00:01:59,789 I just wish I could see her. 48 00:01:59,966 --> 00:02:01,274 Let me talk to her. 49 00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:02,840 Let me try. 50 00:02:03,449 --> 00:02:05,149 - I'll fix this. I will. - Mm, okay. 51 00:02:05,155 --> 00:02:07,661 I-I feel bad about asking, but I didn't actually ask, 52 00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:10,158 you offered, so thank you. That would be great. 53 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:13,026 Do I like being stuck in the middle? I don't. 54 00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:16,524 Am I keenly aware that I put myself here? I am. 55 00:02:16,530 --> 00:02:18,696 But is there a way for me now 56 00:02:18,702 --> 00:02:21,403 to remove myself from the equation? 57 00:02:21,513 --> 00:02:22,828 Doubt it. 58 00:02:23,382 --> 00:02:25,668 Sorry. Am I not s'posed to answer? 59 00:02:25,786 --> 00:02:28,062 Am I just supposed to sit here like... 60 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:31,773 Maya? Oh, my God. Is this it? 61 00:02:31,779 --> 00:02:33,079 - Is it time? - Yeah... 62 00:02:33,085 --> 00:02:35,157 That's what he wants you to think. 63 00:02:36,553 --> 00:02:38,476 Because he's a con man! 64 00:02:38,482 --> 00:02:41,882 I've been to the hospital three times 65 00:02:42,047 --> 00:02:44,556 only to be told he ain't comin'. 66 00:02:44,637 --> 00:02:48,034 Okay, you know eventually he is coming. 67 00:02:48,706 --> 00:02:50,250 If you say so. 68 00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:52,554 Either way, I'm not going back, 69 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,560 not till I have a foot hanging out. 70 00:02:55,449 --> 00:02:57,739 You know babies are born head-first, right? 71 00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:03,078 And Mom said Lisa might have to move back to Idaho or Iowa 72 00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:05,996 or wherever she's from because she doesn't have enough money to live. 73 00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:08,094 Listen to you. You sound like the coastal elite. 74 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,929 - This is why they hate us. - Okay, are you even listening? 75 00:03:10,935 --> 00:03:13,557 - We need to crowdfund Annie Apple. - No thanks. 76 00:03:13,563 --> 00:03:15,912 To me, babies are little bags of barf, 77 00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:17,918 with disgusting black belly buttons, 78 00:03:17,924 --> 00:03:20,256 and don't get me started on how irresponsible it is 79 00:03:20,262 --> 00:03:21,553 to bring one into this world. 80 00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:24,526 I mean, polar bears are dying, 81 00:03:24,644 --> 00:03:26,620 and they're majestic. 82 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,930 I'm getting my tubes tied. 83 00:03:29,812 --> 00:03:31,133 O-Kay. 84 00:03:33,829 --> 00:03:35,029 Hey. 85 00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:36,875 Oh. 86 00:03:37,958 --> 00:03:41,153 Aww, how's it going? Look at that big girl! 87 00:03:41,159 --> 00:03:42,856 Cherish every moment. Before you know it, 88 00:03:42,862 --> 00:03:44,465 - she's gonna be... - I need a favor. 89 00:03:45,942 --> 00:03:47,922 I applied for this full-time teaching position 90 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,633 before Annie was born, and I never heard back. 91 00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:52,428 Well, they called, and they want to interview me today. 92 00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:55,023 - Can you watch her? - Oh, my gosh, Lisa! 93 00:03:55,029 --> 00:03:57,343 A job interview? Are you ready for that? 94 00:03:57,349 --> 00:03:58,639 No choice, right? 95 00:03:58,928 --> 00:04:00,647 "Baby needs a new pair of shoes." 96 00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:03,242 You know, when baby starts walking. 97 00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:07,068 Yeah, right. Well, go get 'em! And of course I'll watch her. 98 00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:08,865 - It'd be my pleasure. - Thanks. 99 00:04:08,952 --> 00:04:10,655 Oh, here are my house keys. 100 00:04:12,472 --> 00:04:14,768 - Yeah. - Hey, how would you feel about me 101 00:04:14,774 --> 00:04:16,860 watching the baby at my house? 102 00:04:18,354 --> 00:04:19,790 Your house? 103 00:04:19,854 --> 00:04:22,557 I know the kids would love to meet their half-sister. 104 00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:26,302 And I'm sure Martin would love to see Annie. 105 00:04:31,633 --> 00:04:35,134 - Okay. He can see her. Yeah. - Yeah? 106 00:04:39,131 --> 00:04:40,361 Bye, baby. 107 00:04:41,128 --> 00:04:42,468 Love you forever. 108 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,269 Hey, wait. You're coming back, right? 109 00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:50,890 Oh, my God, of course! Obviously! I just... 110 00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:54,352 - I just cry all the time now. - Oh, it's okay. 111 00:04:54,358 --> 00:04:56,170 I remember. I did that, too. 112 00:04:56,176 --> 00:04:58,563 - Okay. - Good luck. 113 00:04:58,968 --> 00:05:00,773 - Thank you. - Okay. 114 00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:09,991 Hey. Can you come home from work early? 115 00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:12,118 We got Annie. 116 00:05:20,346 --> 00:05:24,325 The thing is, my hands have been so full of Apples lately 117 00:05:24,331 --> 00:05:26,746 that I haven't had much time for anything else. 118 00:05:28,056 --> 00:05:30,442 And it's not like we're not gonna see each other. 119 00:05:31,136 --> 00:05:34,644 'Cause I am down with your dad. 120 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,948 I knew you'd understand. 121 00:05:37,954 --> 00:05:39,024 I'll be right back. 122 00:05:55,511 --> 00:05:57,325 You're here. 123 00:05:57,331 --> 00:05:59,909 Oh, my God, she really did it. 124 00:06:00,221 --> 00:06:02,095 Can I pick you up? 125 00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:04,494 Is that okay? Huh? 126 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:07,189 I guess I'm just going to, so... 127 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:08,987 Oh, come here. 128 00:06:10,728 --> 00:06:12,621 Hi, little mama. 129 00:06:12,811 --> 00:06:14,951 You probably don't recognize me. 130 00:06:15,516 --> 00:06:17,760 There was a lot going on that day, but... 131 00:06:18,004 --> 00:06:19,549 I'm your dad. 132 00:06:19,555 --> 00:06:20,899 Yeah. 133 00:06:21,328 --> 00:06:22,962 Nice work, Dad. 134 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,851 Oh. I-I didn't wake her. 135 00:06:26,857 --> 00:06:29,041 Um, she was up. Is this... is this okay? 136 00:06:29,047 --> 00:06:31,409 - Am I allowed to hold her? - Of course you can. 137 00:06:31,415 --> 00:06:33,341 I mean, I knew she'd be cute, but... 138 00:06:33,931 --> 00:06:35,866 I mean, this is like another level. 139 00:06:35,872 --> 00:06:38,062 Look at her. I mean, would you look at her? 140 00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:40,658 Uh-huh. 141 00:06:40,938 --> 00:06:43,953 - You look great together. - It feels great. 142 00:06:44,641 --> 00:06:47,448 Hey, you think you can watch her for about an hour? 143 00:06:47,454 --> 00:06:50,552 W-what, you mean... you mean, like, alone, unsupervised? 144 00:06:51,032 --> 00:06:55,550 Yeah. Your older daughter is all grown up these days, but... 145 00:06:55,556 --> 00:06:57,792 I want her to know her mom's still here for her. 146 00:06:57,798 --> 00:07:00,472 Okay. Um, what if Lisa shows up? 147 00:07:00,478 --> 00:07:02,488 What, should I just, like, put Annie on the floor 148 00:07:02,494 --> 00:07:03,695 and hide in the closet? 149 00:07:03,701 --> 00:07:05,107 - Probably. - Okay. 150 00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:08,371 It sounds crazy, but I think you should talk to her. 151 00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:12,039 It's time for you to take the reins, all right? I'm tapping out. 152 00:07:13,169 --> 00:07:14,452 Okay. 153 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:17,580 So... hat girl, huh? 154 00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:18,974 Yeah. 155 00:07:18,979 --> 00:07:22,164 What else should I know about you? Nicki or Cardi? 156 00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:24,343 Fallon or Kimmel? 157 00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:27,382 And where are we on the Bobs? 158 00:07:27,388 --> 00:07:29,567 Dylan or Seger? 159 00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:41,238 Boo. 160 00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,538 Mom! You actually came. 161 00:07:43,544 --> 00:07:44,948 Of course I came. 162 00:07:44,954 --> 00:07:47,149 I mean, you almost kind of sorta 163 00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:49,149 said you wanted me to, so... 164 00:07:49,578 --> 00:07:52,596 Yeah, what are your top-five choices? We'll go to those booths first. 165 00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,524 Okay. My first choice is Barnard. 166 00:07:54,602 --> 00:07:55,802 Barnard. 167 00:07:56,695 --> 00:07:58,381 That's in Manhattan. 168 00:07:58,387 --> 00:08:00,205 All the schools I want to apply to are in New York. 169 00:08:00,211 --> 00:08:03,054 Yeah, definitely want to be on the East Coast... 170 00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:05,052 but Barnard is my top pick. 171 00:08:05,058 --> 00:08:08,460 They have an amazing writing program. 172 00:08:08,528 --> 00:08:11,577 Wow. New York. 173 00:08:12,232 --> 00:08:16,025 - Would you be supportive of that? - Supportive? Oh, my gosh, yes. 174 00:08:16,031 --> 00:08:19,417 Yes. Super supportive. Like, sports-bra level. 175 00:08:22,029 --> 00:08:23,710 I just hope you like roaches. 176 00:08:23,856 --> 00:08:26,154 - Roaches? - Yeah, cockroaches. 177 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,637 They're huge in Manhattan. 178 00:08:27,643 --> 00:08:29,453 I don't want to deter you, but... 179 00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:33,583 they can live for, like, a month without their heads. 180 00:08:35,496 --> 00:08:37,132 It's just good to be informed. 181 00:08:37,227 --> 00:08:39,621 - Mom. - Whatever happened to UCLA? 182 00:08:39,627 --> 00:08:42,611 You used to, like, run around the house in that UCLA sweatshirt. 183 00:08:42,617 --> 00:08:44,517 Yeah, when I was 8. 184 00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:46,392 Early decision, I thought? 185 00:08:46,398 --> 00:08:49,299 UCLA is a fine school, but I truly believe 186 00:08:49,305 --> 00:08:51,596 Mae, the intellectual risk-taker, 187 00:08:51,602 --> 00:08:53,211 would flourish at Barnard. 188 00:08:53,217 --> 00:08:56,374 She'd receive a high-quality liberal arts education 189 00:08:56,380 --> 00:09:00,053 right at the center of cosmopolitan New York City. 190 00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:03,186 Oh, the museums, the theater, the piano bars. 191 00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:05,193 Don't even get me started on that skyline. 192 00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:07,121 Okay, Cuomo. Thank you. 193 00:09:08,162 --> 00:09:11,451 Peekaboo! Peekaboo! 194 00:09:11,457 --> 00:09:13,141 Where did I go? Where did I go? 195 00:09:13,373 --> 00:09:16,444 Oh, I'm right here. I'm right here. I didn't go anywhere. 196 00:09:16,746 --> 00:09:18,856 I love you. I'm... I'm never gonna leave you. 197 00:09:19,567 --> 00:09:23,245 - Oh, my gosh. Is this Annie? - This is Annie in the diaper. 198 00:09:23,251 --> 00:09:26,867 My gosh, she's cute as a button, Dad. Literal button. 199 00:09:26,873 --> 00:09:28,390 I've seen cuter... 200 00:09:28,396 --> 00:09:29,490 in the mirror. 201 00:09:29,495 --> 00:09:31,174 - You wanna hold her? - Duh. 202 00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:32,679 - Wash your hands. - Okay. 203 00:09:33,164 --> 00:09:34,468 Okay. 204 00:09:36,079 --> 00:09:39,152 All right. Let's get right in the crook. 205 00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:42,630 Hi, Annie. I'm your big bro. 206 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,249 I'ma look out for you 207 00:09:44,255 --> 00:09:47,216 Gonna make sure you don't end up in the sticks or on the streets... 208 00:09:47,222 --> 00:09:48,894 or, God forbid, on the pole. 209 00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:51,806 - No shame in that work, but... Okay. - All right, gimme her, gimme her. 210 00:09:51,812 --> 00:09:53,915 Great. Uh... 211 00:09:54,191 --> 00:09:56,503 Buddy, why don't you take a seat on the coach? 212 00:09:56,509 --> 00:09:58,871 It's your turn. There we go. 213 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,386 Open up your arms. 214 00:10:01,598 --> 00:10:02,909 Oh... 215 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,261 What's that, Annie? 216 00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:06,948 What'd she say to you, bud? 217 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:09,286 She wants to know what it's like in the garbage. 218 00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:11,284 Okay, homework time. Homework. 219 00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:14,285 Okay. Both of you guys. Come on. Out, out. 220 00:10:14,794 --> 00:10:16,076 Okay. 221 00:10:16,253 --> 00:10:18,383 That's okay, baby Apple. 222 00:10:18,495 --> 00:10:20,794 One day, you're gonna kick both of their asses. 223 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,226 Yes, you will. Come here. Okay, let's go. 224 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:27,717 At Sarah Lawrence, our students get more one-on-one time with faculty 225 00:10:27,723 --> 00:10:29,704 than at any other college in the country. 226 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,190 Hm. Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. 227 00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,913 Mom, what's wrong with you? 228 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:36,004 I think it's just a little bit of empty nest. 229 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,487 Which is peculiar, 'cause my dad keeps repopulating it. 230 00:10:39,493 --> 00:10:42,414 - Can I talk to you in the hall? - Can I talk to you in the hall? 231 00:10:43,613 --> 00:10:45,943 - You can have one of these? Thank you. - Of course. Of course. 232 00:10:46,621 --> 00:10:47,821 Mae! 233 00:10:48,426 --> 00:10:51,238 Is that why you want to run off and go to school in New York, 234 00:10:51,244 --> 00:10:54,240 because of your dad and Lisa and the whole Annie Apple thing? 235 00:10:54,246 --> 00:10:57,062 Believe it or not, New York has a lot more going for it 236 00:10:57,068 --> 00:10:59,880 other than just being the place where you guys don't live. 237 00:11:00,364 --> 00:11:02,477 What about that crack about your dad? 238 00:11:02,483 --> 00:11:05,786 What about your cracks? Are you unraveling? 239 00:11:06,989 --> 00:11:09,464 I just want to make sure you're okay. 240 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:11,644 I'm okay. 241 00:11:11,956 --> 00:11:14,357 Some might argue that I'm more than okay. 242 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:19,652 When did you get so grown up? It went by so fast. 243 00:11:19,658 --> 00:11:21,379 This was fast for you? 244 00:11:21,573 --> 00:11:24,688 - For me, it felt like forever. - I blinked and I missed it. 245 00:11:24,962 --> 00:11:26,895 Maybe I just miss you. 246 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,891 You're still the cutest one. 247 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,567 You're the smallest and the cutest 248 00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:37,666 and everyone loves you best. 249 00:11:37,789 --> 00:11:39,879 Hey, freaker. Come here. 250 00:11:42,859 --> 00:11:47,187 Okay. Now that I am officially obsessed with our baby sister, 251 00:11:47,193 --> 00:11:48,988 aka the Apple of my Eye, 252 00:11:48,994 --> 00:11:51,300 I've decided to make a pledge-fund page 253 00:11:51,306 --> 00:11:53,258 in order to kick-start her life. 254 00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:55,605 - ♪ Sweet pea ♪ - _ 255 00:11:55,611 --> 00:11:58,143 ♪ Apple of my eye ♪ 256 00:11:58,629 --> 00:12:02,307 ♪ Don't know when and I don't know why ♪ 257 00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:04,986 ♪ You're the only reason ♪ 258 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,596 - ♪ I keep on coming home ♪ - _ 259 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,289 I cry almost every time I watch it, but... 260 00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:13,502 it's raised zero dollars and has zero likes. 261 00:12:13,884 --> 00:12:16,992 - Why is it not connecting? - Not sad enough. 262 00:12:17,264 --> 00:12:19,378 I know them, and I felt nothing. 263 00:12:19,384 --> 00:12:20,418 Really? 264 00:12:20,423 --> 00:12:22,596 Just sayin'. I'm not handing over 265 00:12:22,602 --> 00:12:25,233 my hard-earned pesos to some rando... 266 00:12:25,239 --> 00:12:27,827 who looks like she's sponsored by The Honest Company 267 00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:29,716 and her basic bitch baby. 268 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,609 ♪ Every time ♪ 269 00:12:34,615 --> 00:12:37,960 ♪ They were sure they had you caught ♪ 270 00:12:38,696 --> 00:12:42,191 ♪ You were quicker than they thought ♪ 271 00:12:42,852 --> 00:12:47,086 ♪ You'd just turn your back and walk ♪ 272 00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:51,368 ♪ You always said ♪ 273 00:12:51,374 --> 00:12:54,288 ♪ The cards would never do you wrong ♪ 274 00:12:57,407 --> 00:12:59,503 ♪ The trick, you said ♪ 275 00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:02,784 ♪ Was never play the game too long ♪ 276 00:13:05,698 --> 00:13:07,880 ♪ A gambler's share ♪ 277 00:13:07,886 --> 00:13:10,310 ♪ The only risk that you would... ♪ 278 00:13:10,316 --> 00:13:11,516 Lisa! 279 00:13:12,105 --> 00:13:16,100 - ♪ The only loss you could forsake ♪ - Hi. Uh... hello, oh, uh... 280 00:13:16,106 --> 00:13:17,602 In case you were wondering, 281 00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:19,797 she's a big Seger fan. 282 00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:21,616 I checked. 283 00:13:22,077 --> 00:13:23,791 Okay, shh, shh, shh. Here. 284 00:13:24,611 --> 00:13:28,409 It... She doesn't hate me, I swear. She just... 285 00:13:28,415 --> 00:13:31,012 - This is her witching hour. She's colicky. - No, I know. 286 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,874 All three of my kids were colicky, too. 287 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,180 Bad genes, I guess. 288 00:13:34,186 --> 00:13:36,595 - Huh. - But if she needs those 289 00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:39,178 big, giant glasses, that won't be my fault. 290 00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:41,965 Right, that's my defining characteristic. 291 00:13:42,977 --> 00:13:45,071 - They're really big. - Yeah, I know! 292 00:13:45,077 --> 00:13:46,283 Okay. 293 00:13:46,555 --> 00:13:49,807 Hey, you know, uh, when they're fussing, um, 294 00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:51,719 I used to always do the... the football hold. 295 00:13:51,725 --> 00:13:53,446 Did... did Lena show you that one? 296 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,633 - Eh, uh... no. - May I? 297 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,362 Come here. Come on. 298 00:14:01,368 --> 00:14:02,869 Hey, listen to me. 299 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,755 Okay. Okay. 300 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,471 Here we go. 301 00:14:06,477 --> 00:14:09,637 Okay. Shh, shh. Mm-hmm. 302 00:14:10,955 --> 00:14:12,450 So, how'd the interview go? 303 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,967 Lena told me, so... 304 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,863 I... 305 00:14:18,613 --> 00:14:20,344 It went... 306 00:14:21,951 --> 00:14:24,158 Uh, it... it went... 307 00:14:25,055 --> 00:14:26,258 Oh, hey, hey, hey. 308 00:14:26,264 --> 00:14:27,717 No, Lisa, it's okay. 309 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,156 It's okay. It's a stupid job anyway, right? 310 00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:33,166 - You don't want that stupid old job. - I got the job... 311 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,549 - Oh. - and it's a great job. 312 00:14:36,123 --> 00:14:39,241 It's at this really progressive school. 313 00:14:39,247 --> 00:14:41,154 The kids are terrific. 314 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,830 The benefits are great. 315 00:14:43,224 --> 00:14:45,959 It's by this really cute little pond! 316 00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:48,709 Oh, no. No. 317 00:14:48,715 --> 00:14:51,201 I'm so sorry. That sounds... 318 00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:54,900 - wonderful. - I know. It's full-time. 319 00:14:54,906 --> 00:14:56,521 Which means I'd never get to see Annie, 320 00:14:56,527 --> 00:14:58,885 and 90% of my paycheck would go to childcare. 321 00:14:58,891 --> 00:15:00,283 - So what's the point? - Lisa... 322 00:15:00,289 --> 00:15:02,268 Why is she so happy with you? 323 00:15:03,241 --> 00:15:04,486 Lisa, listen to me. Look. 324 00:15:04,492 --> 00:15:07,954 I-I am... I am more than happy to help out, okay? 325 00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,702 In fact, it's my duty to do so. 326 00:15:10,708 --> 00:15:14,413 Like, I could go to jail for not helping out, 327 00:15:14,419 --> 00:15:16,247 so really, you're doing me a favor. 328 00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:17,850 You are keeping me out of jail. 329 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:23,144 You think the reason I told you this was so that you'd give me money? 330 00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:26,053 - What? No, no, no. - And you could feel good about yourself 331 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,865 'cause you found a way to play hero 332 00:15:27,871 --> 00:15:31,162 without leaving the comfort of your Craftsman-style living room? 333 00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:32,368 Hey! 334 00:15:32,424 --> 00:15:34,940 I did not know that's what kind of house this was, 335 00:15:34,946 --> 00:15:36,927 - and... - I don't want your charity money! 336 00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:38,619 No thank you, Signor! 337 00:15:39,951 --> 00:15:43,023 Oh, God. I really hate it when she calls me "Signor". 338 00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:45,445 - I forgot my baby. - Okay. 339 00:15:45,451 --> 00:15:49,093 - I-I don't usually do that. - Hey, no, no, that's okay. Here. 340 00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:55,507 So, you and Lisa didn't mend any fences? 341 00:15:55,513 --> 00:15:58,507 Ooh, I don't think she wants to mend fences. 342 00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,833 - I think she wants to... fence. - Oh. 343 00:16:02,225 --> 00:16:04,452 But on the bright side, Annie! 344 00:16:05,238 --> 00:16:10,201 Annie. Oh, my gosh. She was so amazing. 345 00:16:10,207 --> 00:16:13,841 And I was so scared at first, but then it all came back to me. 346 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,548 I mean, she cried, of course, and then barfed, and... 347 00:16:16,554 --> 00:16:19,822 at one point, she stuck her entire fist in my eye... 348 00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:21,941 but I, uh... 349 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:24,768 - I just loved every minute of it. - Hmm. 350 00:16:24,866 --> 00:16:27,093 - Mae wants to go to Barnard. - _ 351 00:16:27,099 --> 00:16:30,986 Wow. Our little girl in New York. Can't believe it. 352 00:16:30,992 --> 00:16:32,792 I think she'd like it there. 353 00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,663 Yeah, she probably would. 354 00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:38,136 Hm. Lisa did that, too. 355 00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:39,531 Did what? 356 00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:42,040 Said happy words in a sad way. 357 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,339 Get ready to be impressed. 358 00:16:48,345 --> 00:16:53,046 - Okay. Getting ready. - Hold on. All right. I'm ready. 359 00:16:54,731 --> 00:16:56,644 - ♪ In the arms ♪ - Oh, see, I love this song. 360 00:16:56,650 --> 00:17:00,406 - ♪ Of the angel ♪ - I know. Me too. 361 00:17:00,412 --> 00:17:06,194 - ♪ Fly away from here ♪ - _ 362 00:17:06,381 --> 00:17:11,706 - ♪ From this dark, cold hotel room ♪ - _ 363 00:17:11,712 --> 00:17:12,784 That's not true. 364 00:17:12,789 --> 00:17:15,890 ♪ And the endlessness that you fear ♪ 365 00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:17,907 - ♪ That you feel ♪ - "Homless"? 366 00:17:18,265 --> 00:17:20,774 Wow. Okay. Huh. 367 00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:24,663 So, it seems like your heart is in the right place... kinda... 368 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,781 but this is a huge invasion of privacy, 369 00:17:26,787 --> 00:17:29,761 and this is full of lies. You cannot post that. 370 00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:32,760 Well, someone has to do something, okay, 371 00:17:32,766 --> 00:17:35,345 because if Lisa can't support herself, 372 00:17:35,351 --> 00:17:38,150 then she's gonna move away, and we're gonna miss everything. 373 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,939 First steps, first solids, first... 374 00:17:40,945 --> 00:17:44,751 - "baby goes potty, like a big girl." - Okay. Mace, go. 375 00:17:44,757 --> 00:17:47,809 Go be a teenager. Go do a meme. Go. 376 00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:50,192 Someone has to take action! 377 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,184 God. I just... 378 00:17:55,903 --> 00:17:58,020 just don't want my little girl to move away. 379 00:17:58,026 --> 00:17:59,593 Agree! You're the one who said 380 00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:01,748 that she'd love New York. 381 00:18:01,926 --> 00:18:04,131 Oh, I was... I was talking about Annie. 382 00:18:04,921 --> 00:18:06,928 - Oh. - Yeah. 383 00:18:08,029 --> 00:18:10,524 We're both obsessing over our daughters, 384 00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:12,115 it's just different daughters. 385 00:18:12,121 --> 00:18:14,552 Annie's on her way in, Mae's on her way out. 386 00:18:14,558 --> 00:18:16,226 My head is racing. 387 00:18:16,232 --> 00:18:19,742 Sounds like Mae's being really responsible and independent. 388 00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:22,036 Isn't that, like, the whole point of parenting? 389 00:18:22,042 --> 00:18:23,251 Not for me. 390 00:18:23,257 --> 00:18:26,282 I don't think you remember what we were like at that age. 391 00:18:26,288 --> 00:18:28,598 We couldn't wait to get the hell away from our parents. 392 00:18:28,604 --> 00:18:30,276 This is totally normal. 393 00:18:30,282 --> 00:18:33,389 Okay. We'll see how you feel 394 00:18:33,587 --> 00:18:35,276 if your kid's ever born. 395 00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:38,982 Um, Mom, do I have a Social Security number? 396 00:18:38,988 --> 00:18:41,597 Oh, my gosh, yes. You have a great one. 397 00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,480 Here. I'll write it down for you. 398 00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,089 Northwestern? 399 00:18:48,184 --> 00:18:52,443 I know Zach Braff went there, but it still has a lot going for it. 400 00:18:52,449 --> 00:18:55,144 - Plus it's in Illinois. - Illinois? 401 00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:59,246 - A whole three states closer. - See? That's what I'm talking about. 402 00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:00,557 Can you guys pick it up? 403 00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:03,255 I can't really see it, and I'm getting kind of bored... 404 00:19:09,494 --> 00:19:12,272 Who rings the doorbell? I just got her to sleep! 405 00:19:12,278 --> 00:19:15,863 Annie likes me, Lisa, even though you don't. 406 00:19:15,869 --> 00:19:17,574 And I don't need to be a part of your life, 407 00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:19,265 but I do need to be a part of hers. 408 00:19:19,271 --> 00:19:21,855 And if you don't want my financial support, 409 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:25,644 that's fine, okay? But let me help in other ways. 410 00:19:25,650 --> 00:19:27,654 And you don't have to move to be near family, 411 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:29,731 because Annie has family right here. 412 00:19:29,737 --> 00:19:32,069 She has me and three half-siblings 413 00:19:32,075 --> 00:19:34,019 who are all obsessed with her. 414 00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:36,551 Well, Mason is obsessed with her, 415 00:19:36,557 --> 00:19:39,844 the other two, eh, they don't really like her that much, but... 416 00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:42,355 whatever, one out of three is not so bad, right? 417 00:19:43,139 --> 00:19:44,438 Look... 418 00:19:44,611 --> 00:19:47,014 you can take my help and still hate me. 419 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,803 I promise you, I will not interpret it as forgiveness. 420 00:19:51,017 --> 00:19:52,225 I'll think about it. 421 00:19:54,003 --> 00:19:55,224 I'll take it. 422 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,472 Do not smile back, 423 00:19:58,558 --> 00:20:01,177 because that I might misinterpret. 424 00:20:03,684 --> 00:20:04,884 Good. 425 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:06,668 Consistent. 426 00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:08,957 Annie will benefit from that. 427 00:20:08,963 --> 00:20:11,304 - We done? - We done. 428 00:20:22,201 --> 00:20:25,121 - All right, this is the place. - Okay! 429 00:20:25,127 --> 00:20:27,655 - Uh, we got a nice pull-out coach here. - Soft stuff. 430 00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:31,230 - Yeah. Uh, dining area, and this is... - Smooth. 431 00:20:31,236 --> 00:20:34,564 the kitchenette. The fridge is mini, but does good work. 432 00:20:34,752 --> 00:20:37,097 Oh, she's little, but brisk. 433 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,361 Would I be able to pay the security deposit in installments... 434 00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:42,672 through PayPal, perhaps? 435 00:20:42,678 --> 00:20:45,883 Uh, you could Venmo all the money to Lisa Apple, the beneficiary. 436 00:20:45,889 --> 00:20:47,673 - Crypto okay? - No. Grow up. 437 00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:48,879 Hey, Mason. 438 00:20:49,272 --> 00:20:52,148 - Who's this? - Uh, this is our new tenant, Dave! 439 00:20:52,154 --> 00:20:55,154 Uh, we met at Quiznos. We both ordered the Spicy Monterey 440 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,260 - and got to talking. - I volunteer there. 441 00:20:57,266 --> 00:20:58,639 And, um... 442 00:20:58,645 --> 00:21:01,387 he needed a new work slash live space, so... 443 00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:02,759 I breed ferrets. 444 00:21:02,969 --> 00:21:04,176 And capybaras. 445 00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:06,067 It's like a South American horse mouse. 446 00:21:06,073 --> 00:21:07,567 - I know what they are. - Okay. 447 00:21:07,573 --> 00:21:09,567 No license. I don't have a license for it. 448 00:21:09,731 --> 00:21:10,797 Hm. 449 00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:12,411 I figured if we sublet the garage, 450 00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:14,286 we could have some extra cash for Annie. 451 00:21:14,989 --> 00:21:16,780 - Nope. Bye, Dave. - Ooh... 452 00:21:16,786 --> 00:21:19,408 Gotta go. Back to Quiznos. Shoo. 453 00:21:19,481 --> 00:21:20,684 Oh. 454 00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:23,585 - Gmail me if anything changes. - I won't. 455 00:21:23,591 --> 00:21:28,591 Sync & corrections by PetaG for www.addic7ed.com 34113

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