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say hey you're not selling my
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ship-in-a-bottle are you if we're lucky
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I love that ship its Dominion really the
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whole reason we're having a garage sale
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is to get rid of things we don't have to
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be fanatics about it listen I've been
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going over the bills someone should take
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your credit cards away is that a typo an
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$11,000 balloon payment no that's
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accurate
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you guys are getting ripped off you get
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a whole package of balloons for 69 cents
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Oh
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seven years ago we took out a mortgage
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on the house just to buy a balloon what
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could we not talk about this right now
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we've only got a week to get ready for
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the garage sale you're selling the
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garage well that's good because we're
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gonna need some place to store that
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balloon
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[Laughter]
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[Music]
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so you understand what a balloon payment
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is yeah and you know what a garage sale
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is yeah good now can you explain secular
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humanism again
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hey you're not selling that are you I'm
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afraid so
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too bad be a great bottle if it weren't
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for the ship stuck in it it's a ninja
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well sorry
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uh no Mac we didn't name our bottles it
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doesn't matter
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we're selling it anyway this house
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payments hanging over your head isn't it
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no we're just trying to clear away a
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little extra space level with me you're
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on the skids aren't you mom wants me to
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sell my female we've got to be strong
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about this not my hockey stick knock
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knock who's there
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hi kids all right kids who hi grandma
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stop it you're ruining the joke excuse
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me kids I love you very much but there's
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something I've got a watch on TV horse
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neighs come on oh good you brought some
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more stuff in the garage there come on
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move it come on butter's
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[Applause]
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since when do you bet on horses all my
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life honey I can't picture you at a
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racetrack I could picture her running I
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wonder how long it would take to pull
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the hair out of your body
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about two hours Connie never took me to
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a racetrack I never go to a racetrack
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you meet an unsavory element there I bet
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with a bookie they're not unsavory my
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ignorance but what's a bookie an
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unsavory element
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you mean like oregano Nick the fish is
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not unsavory look the fish you back with
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a fish oh hi Garth I Willie Willie did
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you know my mother bets on horses yeah
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how much did you win grandma three
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hundred bucks
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oh yeah that's even better than last
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week oh that's fine mom but I mean what
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if you had lost hey it's my money
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but it's all our inheritance for your
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information I'm planning to leave all my
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money to the alien task force sure
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punish your grandchildren leave us out
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of this that's her plan
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pick it up in the kitchen and tag oh
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yeah with these old clothes
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I've got Flyers to make well I might as
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well make myself useful
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hold on Dorothy can you make a lot of
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money with this horse-racing thing only
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if you win no problem
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put me in for 50 bucks where did you get
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50 bucks have you been going through my
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purse again yes but that's not where I
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got the money by the way you're out of
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Tic Tacs where did you get the 50 bucks
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rebate coupons anyway if you'll just
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slip 50 to mr. Fisch mints
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no thanks I just brushed his name is
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Nick mints and I'm not gonna place any
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bets for you I'm not doing this for me
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no you're raising money for charity Oh
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excellent comeback Dorothy you must know
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it's for a balloon payment which by the
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way has nothing to do with a balloon
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well I don't care what it has to do with
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I am still not gonna place any bets for
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you and it was a dynamite comeback once
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again left to my own devices
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don't you believe in knocking this is
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our room
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I know that what may I ask are you doing
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in here I have to make a private call
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now you two just go back in there and do
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whatever you were doing we were brushing
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our teeth no need to cover I think it's
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great that you kids still keep the
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flames burning thanks for the feedback
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now when you're leaving yeah after my
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call
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who are you calling at this time of the
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night do I pry into your personal life
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look it's kind of a surprise what did we
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say about surprises I know but it's a
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good surprise just trust me please okay
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two minutes Thanks
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oh and close the door behind you hello
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is this the fish great listen you don't
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know me but I'm a friend of Dorothy
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elegance yeah big red listen if I send
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you 50 bucks can you turn that into
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$11,000 no problem I've got till
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Saturday fine oh all right
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[Music]
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Nick oh yeah I was listening not bad huh
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fifty bucks at six to one UPS let's see
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that means I won three million dollars
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Wow what $300 oh well let it run I've
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got the Midas touch okay Nick yeah let's
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go 50s on four in the fifth five in the
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sixth six in the seventh and seven in
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the eighth
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then at Hialeah what I'd like to do so
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that's a c-note on the double then one
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each on the two exactas yeah a deuce on
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the quinella and a half on the
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perfective and remember nothing on the
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pick six
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I don't want to seem greedy Thanks and
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my best to the fishwire
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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Kate I think your neighbors are having a
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garage sale today - you're kidding me
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autumn onyx yeah they got a couple of
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beat-up chairs and an old self out on
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their front lawn oh yeah that's the way
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it always looks mom how come dad's
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hockey sticks not out there well it
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should be I know I put it out there oh
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it's right next to the bottle with the
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Mayflower in it it's not the Mayflower
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I mean yeah hey come here Willie
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I want you to see this race oh yeah I've
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got time to watch a horse race now I'm
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not a race this is the race this is the
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one that's gonna make you very happy
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keep your eye on number nine I mean the
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one I just fell down yeah that's the one
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it's not getting up he will he will
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maybe he dropped something
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Oh is the jockey is okay
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who cares get up
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get up well thank you house you'll
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excuse me I have to put these away
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NIC L does that race count all right all
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right how much am i up oh well then how
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much am i down well I have to make it
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back fast put two thousand on what what
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do you mean I can't bet any more no no
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there's no reason for you to come over
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here uh I'll be happy to put a check in
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the mail hello okay quick question yeah
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hypothetical situation an individual
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places a bet with a professional bookie
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okay for a sizable amount of money let's
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say uh six thousand dollars and he loses
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it and he can't cover his losses
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hypothetically what could happen to this
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individual well hypothetically he could
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have his legs broken oh yes
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just making conversation well I'm glad
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we had this talk
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[Music]
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you think I can get six grand for this
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more like a quarter well it's a story
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your favorite things do you want to sell
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them for I want to do my part for the
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garage sale help the family out of their
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financial troubles by five o'clock how
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we don't have any financial troubles we
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do no not the slinky careful don't get a
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kink in that I need to get five hundred
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bucks for it
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you won't yeah well what about this
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a genuine melmac Ian's survival knife
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there's no brain well life on melmac
199
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wasn't that tough you have some really
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nice things here but I really don't
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think they're worth all that much
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all right I was hoping I wouldn't have
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to part with this but here it is my
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collection of booyah baseball cards
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what's a baseball it's like regular
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baseball only get throw fish parts which
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bucks what difference does it make how
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much will you give me for this nothing
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wait don't answer yet what if I threw in
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an attractive 12 piece set of cookware
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now what would you pay $3 soon if I'm
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not buying that we had a deal I just
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thought you wanted to know what it was
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worth you're right I did
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sorry do you really need to go to
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college
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[Music]
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eh we haven't sold one thing well it's
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it's only been an hour
220
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maybe we should have served food mom
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this is a garage sale not a luau cave
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nobody's buying anything I know that
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it's just an observation I'm gonna see
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if we have anything in the refrigerator
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excuse me I have a question about the
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price on this lamp it's negotiable Wow
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hope so a thousand dollars is ridiculous
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he must be some mistake this looks like
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the handwriting about a two-year old or
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someone much much older pardon me but
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you can't really be charging $2,500 for
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this coffee pot we could have two and a
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half lamps for that price I'll give you
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five bucks you expect us to come down
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from $2,500 to 5 this look next door I
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saw a nice sofa in the lawn
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your mind $3,400 for steak knives I
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think this could explain what the sales
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have been slow maybe you don't
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understand the concept of a garage sale
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a mom Oh could you check the rest of the
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prices well Willie and I go in the house
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and investigate what excuse me ma'am do
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you have any more of these $800
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screwdrivers down here what are you
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doing down there
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shaking come on out we know what you did
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you do just tell us why you did it I was
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trying to make a little money where did
250
00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:44,519
you get such a crazy idea from your
251
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mother it was her bookie bookie
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what bookie that bookie you have to do
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with our garage sale
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Kate do I have to fill in all the blanks
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just stay here we'll talk about this
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later no no don't answer it my life
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isn't worth a plug nickel
258
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really what is going on I have no idea
259
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maybe your mother's bookie will know
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Alpana Nikki bid hi okay
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this is mr. men saw me Nick whatever
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makes you comfortable
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Alf you sound different person you got a
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cold too
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no no I've been sick for a month and
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taking everything that need works
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have you tried lemon juice and honey you
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know my wife suggested that but I can't
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digest citrus you could try the honey
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without the lemon yeah maybe I'll try
271
00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:55,000
that so where's my money
272
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[Music]
273
00:17:55,000 --> 00:18:03,410
come on Al just give me the six grand so
274
00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:04,570
I can go home and use the vaporizer six
275
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:08,240
grand
276
00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:11,410
you think I place the bet with you and
277
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:18,340
now I owe you
278
00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:18,340
$6,000 yeah that's the general idea
279
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:31,299
come on give me the money you think mr.
280
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:35,600
Mintz I'm afraid I don't have $6,000
281
00:18:31,299 --> 00:18:42,070
you'll find it because if you don't find
282
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:42,070
it well let's keep that hypothetical I
283
00:18:44,679 --> 00:18:56,780
take care of myself where are we gonna
284
00:18:52,580 --> 00:19:03,440
find $6,000 maybe some ago by the
285
00:18:56,780 --> 00:19:08,539
folding chairs by Gordon Shumway being
286
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:11,510
of sound mind and well I retag
287
00:19:08,539 --> 00:19:14,450
everything now who changed the prices ho
288
00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:16,549
we have rounded up the usual suspect you
289
00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:20,419
placed a bet with your bookie and lost 6
290
00:19:16,549 --> 00:19:21,640
grand when you say it it sounds so
291
00:19:20,419 --> 00:19:26,330
sleazy
292
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:30,409
and now the mob is after him well at
293
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:35,900
least some good came out of this it's
294
00:19:30,409 --> 00:19:39,500
doing in here yelling at El yeah what is
295
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:43,309
it involved this time food or money have
296
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:45,650
I become that predictable this time he
297
00:19:43,309 --> 00:19:48,440
seems to incur two rather large gambling
298
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:52,400
debt yeah and your grandmother is
299
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:54,740
largely responsible me yeah you
300
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:58,039
introduced me to horse-racing knowing
301
00:19:54,740 --> 00:20:01,100
full well how obsessive-compulsive I am
302
00:19:58,039 --> 00:20:05,720
I depend on you people to protect me
303
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:07,640
from myself ah but it's not an informed
304
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:12,030
response
305
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:15,090
look I did what I did for good reason to
306
00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:17,760
keep you people out of the poorhouse by
307
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:20,910
getting us hopelessly in debt good
308
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:23,850
strategy well how did you expect to make
309
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:27,540
that balloon payment with this pitiful
310
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:31,860
garage sale of yours by the way did the
311
00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:34,470
steak knives go we put aside the money
312
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:43,080
for the balloon payment a long time ago
313
00:20:34,470 --> 00:20:46,080
oh well can I borrow 6 grand of it saved
314
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:47,700
up and I've got a little money no one of
315
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,950
this family is giving money to Alf to
316
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:52,650
cover his gambling losses dan he was
317
00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:56,280
trying to help oh you're right you're
318
00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:57,660
right l will 6000 be enough or shall we
319
00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:01,010
advance you for the next time you try to
320
00:20:57,660 --> 00:21:03,360
help thanks for the sarcasm Willie
321
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:07,350
somewhere out there's a meat hook with
322
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:10,860
my name on it oh my gosh she's back
323
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:17,010
don't answer it mom is mr. mince a
324
00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:19,560
violent man yes but he's fair let's all
325
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:24,390
slip out the side door we don't have a
326
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:28,230
side door well why don't we just finish
327
00:21:24,390 --> 00:21:29,550
your will oh you guys go go out in the
328
00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:36,960
driveway see if anybody is buying
329
00:21:29,550 --> 00:21:39,030
anything you know we're a lot alike we
330
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:48,230
just can't keep ourselves out of trouble
331
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:52,500
oh thank god excuse me no no never mind
332
00:21:48,230 --> 00:21:54,330
yes hi I'm Carl buck I was at your
333
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:55,800
garage sale and I found something I'd
334
00:21:54,330 --> 00:21:57,870
like to buy but I'm not sure if you're
335
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,430
selling it Oh everything out there is
336
00:21:57,870 --> 00:22:03,180
for sale yeah this thing look like a
337
00:21:59,430 --> 00:22:06,060
spaceship except the spaceship not that
338
00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:08,340
it is a spaceship could be anything
339
00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:10,740
it's perfect for the film we're doing
340
00:22:08,340 --> 00:22:13,590
film oh who exactly are you
341
00:22:10,740 --> 00:22:17,460
Oh forgive me I'm a set decorator well
342
00:22:13,590 --> 00:22:19,410
there's nothing to be ashamed of I was
343
00:22:17,460 --> 00:22:23,160
looking for props for our film Jupiter
344
00:22:19,410 --> 00:22:25,980
guy's ship would be perfect for it
345
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:27,720
you sure you don't want to sell it oh no
346
00:22:25,980 --> 00:22:31,560
no we couldn't
347
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:33,930
why not it has sentimental value it
348
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:37,580
should work consider renting it no for
349
00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:41,730
how long Willie no more than a week oh
350
00:22:37,580 --> 00:22:45,390
no no we couldn't really I was willing
351
00:22:41,730 --> 00:22:50,250
to pay for a thousand how about six okay
352
00:22:45,390 --> 00:22:54,800
since Willie isn't there someone we
353
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:54,800
should consult about this take the money
354
00:22:55,340 --> 00:23:00,620
saara
355
00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:04,020
business manager so do we have a deal
356
00:23:00,620 --> 00:23:06,750
it's just for one week right right deal
357
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:11,480
great who can I make the check out to
358
00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:11,480
mr. Nick Mintz all the fish
359
00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:16,780
[Applause]
360
00:23:12,530 --> 00:23:18,630
[Music]
361
00:23:16,780 --> 00:23:25,909
[Applause]
362
00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:25,909
[Music]
363
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:35,550
what are you looking for House rebate
364
00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:40,890
coupons do my Nina
365
00:23:35,550 --> 00:23:40,890
good luck Willie and good luck house
366
00:23:42,910 --> 00:24:19,460
[Music]
367
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:36,799
[Applause]
368
00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:36,799
[Music]26901
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