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START PREMIERES ONLINE
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KIRILL RUMIANTSEV
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Kirill Rumiantsev
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born on nineteen ninety-two
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Fraud, gigolo, ladies, if you meet him
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don't fall for his tricks.
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Be careful.
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ANGELICA
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Lika, I gotta show you something important.
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Okay but fast.
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But you better sit in case of...
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- In case of what?
- Just sit down.
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No way.
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- Is that our stash?
- Yes.
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- The stash we made in third grade?
- In third grade.
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- Where did you get it?
- A balcony at my parents house is like
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a Swiss bank. It'd been safe for 12 years.
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Do it.
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Oh, snap!
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Get out.
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Why did you leave?
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I got it. You say I'm dumb I'm not.
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What did you get?
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That you can't hook up with other girls?
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Boy Wonder, congrats.
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- Asshole!
- Kristina!
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- Kristina, who's that?
- Who is he?
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- Yes.
- The reason I left Moscow.
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And this bloodsucker got his ass here.
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My feisty one, I love you.
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I'm not falling for that.
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Get off to Moscow! You're loudmouth
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- and an unreliable mommy boy.
- You're not saint too!
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But I still love you and not leaving alone.
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Hey you! Did you hear what Kristina said?
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Or should I borrow you my hearing aid?
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Okay, grandpa.
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Relax. Put the rifle down.
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Get your stuff and let's go!
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Or should I shot you in your ass?
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I'm fine, thanks.
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I'll prove to you I've changed.
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Grandpa, relax! My life is not insured.
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Why are you scaring people with your toy?
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- Saratov shooter.
- Voroshilov Sharpshooter.
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- What's up, lady?
- Idiot, that's my mom!
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- Grandpa, end him!
- I will, Kristina.
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Go home! And you too!
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- Now!
- Kris.
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Kris, I'm waiting in a car.
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Shit, let's leave this
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loony bin.
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I've been writing this essay all night.
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I didn't even go to an opening club party.
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What a sacrifice but
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it won't cover 40 percent of no-show.
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- We're done.
- Will you take mine?
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- Look how I printed it, do you like it?
- I do
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but you gotta the name, at least.
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Divorcee thinks too much of herself.
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We gotta do something.
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Something smart, foxy and despicable.
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Look, these are out essay notebooks.
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- Who will I become, remember?
- Yes.
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- We got D's for it.
- Yeah and Tamara Petrovna said
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our dreams were crap.
Don't you find it weird how
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language teacher uses the word crap?
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To spite her let's make
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our fantasies come true.
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- Okay, but men first.
- Go for it.
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You gotta tell me everything.
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Not for me, for a girl Kirill is fooling.
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So how did you meet?
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Well, first
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he was so romantic.
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He was so cool, friendly, smiley.
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So we got married.
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Divorced a year later.
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I was tired of working alone. He was
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always at home telling stories.
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After a divorce he got half of a flat
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and money after selling
a car my parents gifted.
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No way. What a jerk. Olia,
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you gotta help me.
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He's doing the same with my girlfriend.
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I don't owe you anything.
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I have so many debts because of Kirill.
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Gotta live infinity to pay off all debts.
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I feel you. I'm close
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to singing in a subway.
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And I got fired.
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I gotta go. I got off from work for it.
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No, wait. Just a minute.
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- Hi, lazy head.
- Hi, I need money. Could you borrow?
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- I'll explain later.
- Bro, I'm broke but
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there's a job. Commercial, twenty, tonight.
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- Okay.
- Let me send you a number.
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It's okay. I can help you.
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- I'll call you, okay?
- Okay.
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Hey, are you immortal?
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Grandpa, relax. I have
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a shovel and a bad upbringing.
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- Let's see.
- Okay, grandpa, don't waste your ammo.
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He's a sissy. Five minutes and he runs
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into a car with AC.
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Fancy pants!
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Come on.
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We came here to eliminate the parasite
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from our university.
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Nasty parasite that trickles its disgust
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- into our tight-knit faculty.
- Yeah.
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The enemy is strong
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so we need heavy artillery.
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That's it. Burdukovskaya,
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do you want our university to flourish?
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- Yeah?
- And nasty professors
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to leave their ex husbands
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to good students?
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What does it have to do with me?
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Burdukovskaya, try
thinking outside a class.
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These lonely divorcees are so dangerous.
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- I know it.
- You do.
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What? I've heard such thing.
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Burdukovskaya, you'll help not only us
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you'll get Roman Alexeevich out of trouble.
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Get him out of the vile, lustful trouble
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in a nice skirt.
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Alright, I'm in.
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Today this divorcee has an open lesson.
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Rector will be there.
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Do you get the plan?
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It came true. I'm Michelangelo.
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Rib, my rib.
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Got hit twice for this essay,
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first was for getting D.
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My dreams came true, now it's your turn.
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Lika Vershinina's essay on
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- who I'll become.
- Okay.
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When I grow up I'll be skinny and pretty
like my mom... That's not fair.
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It'd already came true.
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Become a police officer to get into stores
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and confiscate candies and eat them.
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Is it time to make little
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chubby girl's dream come true?
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Hey, you!
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- Can you help an old man?
- Easy.
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- What am I gotta do?
- You need to comb the chickens.
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- Do you comb them?
- Sure.
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Sure, imagine what happens
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if don't comb them.
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They got fleas who bite them.
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They cry all night long, we can't sleep.
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And then they die.
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From lack of sleep.
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We gotta do little coffins to bury them.
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Kristina, why are explaining?
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- Fancy pants surely won't do it.
- Enough!
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I'm chickens combing worldwide champion.
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No way, city boy is a dummy.
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Let's ask him to massage our cows.
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- So they get us more milk.
- Mom.
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Look!
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He did fell for you if he's still here.
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The topic of today's open lesson
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is human rights and how to protect them
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by mass media.
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So, the rights of the first generation
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have been implemented for more than
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200 years. They were recorded in the French
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Declaration of the Rights of Man
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and of the Citizen.
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- The emergence of the concept itself...
- What...
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Is this pornography?
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I thought I was old school
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and don't get new methods of teaching.
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Listen, are your classes always like that?
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Yes. Zhanna Fedorovna
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brings new pictures every time.
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They're never the same.
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Zhanna Fedorovna, excuse me.
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- Yes?
- Could you stop this outrage?
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Pardon?
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God, that's some sort of a mistake.
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No, I do understand that
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such pictured draw attention
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better than diagrams do.
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I see students are into
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topics Zhanna Fedorovna
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was covering during the whole week.
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- Stay here and watch.
- Remember?
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Dream was to confiscate candies,
not buy them.
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I wasn't going to.
Police officers don't earn much. I'm going.
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Okay.
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Here's a script, read it,
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we start in a couple of minutes.
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Is that a diarrhea pills commercial?
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Yes, I hope you're familiar with a problem.
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- Come on, honey.
- Should I do a hair loss
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shampoo commercial or
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potency drugs?
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Hi, man! Why are you calling my girlfriend?
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None of your business. Get Lika the phone.
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I don't allow her to talk to you anymore.
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Sorry, my manners.
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Forgot to ask. How are you? How's your job?
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Dickhead.
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Stop! I'm a police officer.
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So these candies
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were found at criminal scene.
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And I'm confiscating them.
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- For examination.
- What?
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Wanna become an accomplice?
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Security, the police officer stole candies.
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- Stop!
- Leave her!
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Everything's under control.
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- I remember you face.
- And I do.
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Right of the citizen
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is when you have right to do something
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and not end up in jail
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or got whacked.
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Your third student speaks like a prisoner!
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Let's not jump to conclusions
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and ask
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the best student
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Zhenya Burdukovskaya. Evgenia,
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tell us about a legislative act.
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Mass media law in particular.
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That's the topic
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Zhanna Fedorovna covered yesterday.
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If a hack writes a puff piece
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about you, like blow you off
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you can make it right in a court
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like get it smooth.
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You can even get some cash.
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What a crap!
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- Zhanna Fedorovna said so
- Did I?
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- I learned everything.
- Let me see.
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We wrote it down as she said.
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Okay, if
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If a hack writes a puff piece
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about you, like blow you off...
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I think I get it. It's just a
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- someone's cruel joke.
- Probably mine.
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I am
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very sorry to you for
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incompetent teaching of Zhanna Fedorovna.
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Class is dismissed, my friends.
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I'll see soon.
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Hi.
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I just saw Margarita Sergeevna, she looks
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so happy like she just won an Oscar.
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I guess, a lesson didn't go well.
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Not really.
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I'll get fired but that's okay.
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I don't work in a publishing house anymore.
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And I have nowhere to go.
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Zhanna.
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You ate lunch and you have diarrhea now?
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That's okay! Take Stop diarrhea extra!
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New orange taste!
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Stop! Cut! Great take.
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You were born for this commercial.
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That's your fee.
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Thank for not paying with the product.
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- Hello?
- Olia,
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00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:15,198
tonight, I got money.
267
00:17:17,428 --> 00:17:19,655
Kristina, I'm off to feed rabbits,
268
00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:21,451
and you bring some water, okay?
269
00:17:22,076 --> 00:17:25,435
Let me help you. I'm done here. Okay?
270
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:29,273
Okay, help hands!
271
00:18:13,627 --> 00:18:16,242
Not bad, grandpa!
272
00:18:35,397 --> 00:18:36,920
How could you?
273
00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:40,766
I feel for smart, kind, honest Jhenia
274
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:43,067
who would never...
275
00:18:46,757 --> 00:18:48,585
I'll sleep alone tonight.
276
00:18:56,632 --> 00:18:59,961
Dima, hi.
277
00:19:00,212 --> 00:19:02,080
Can I stay at your place tonight?
278
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,814
You, dumb idiot!
279
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:09,805
This one was a must!
280
00:19:10,056 --> 00:19:13,711
We got potatoes for a bottle. I once even
281
00:19:14,415 --> 00:19:17,256
got a cart of manure for a single bottle.
282
00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:20,256
You're dumb idiot!
283
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:24,154
- Grandpa, sorry, I just wanted to help!
- You did!
284
00:19:24,452 --> 00:19:26,967
I'll shoot you in a split second!
285
00:19:27,639 --> 00:19:31,045
Get in the car and get off!
286
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:35,021
Grandpa, stop or you gotta shoot us both!
287
00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:37,375
Do you wanna dig two holes? Your back
288
00:19:37,633 --> 00:19:39,139
- is aching.
- Grandpa,
289
00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:41,561
Let me buy the one with guarantee online.
290
00:19:41,812 --> 00:19:43,827
They'll deliver it here.
291
00:19:44,921 --> 00:19:47,756
What are you saying? That was handmade.
292
00:19:48,038 --> 00:19:50,623
No one can make it.
293
00:19:51,787 --> 00:19:54,248
Dumb idiot, no one can do it.
294
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,733
Let's go back. It's not far. We'll be there
295
00:19:56,983 --> 00:19:59,951
in the morning. I won't make it here.
296
00:20:00,216 --> 00:20:01,813
The fact that I stood up for you
297
00:20:02,063 --> 00:20:03,895
does not mean that I forgive you. Clear?
298
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,359
Asshole! Go clean the mess!
299
00:20:07,991 --> 00:20:09,522
Grandpa!
300
00:20:12,209 --> 00:20:13,724
Do you know our stash contains
301
00:20:14,201 --> 00:20:15,849
one more little stash?
302
00:20:18,247 --> 00:20:19,856
Wait! Don't read it.
303
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:23,973
Do it.
304
00:20:25,785 --> 00:20:28,141
I wanna marry Kirill Rumiantsev
305
00:20:28,723 --> 00:20:31,441
because he's handsome and kind?
306
00:20:32,605 --> 00:20:34,206
So, registry office closes at 4 pm.
307
00:20:34,722 --> 00:20:36,847
We should hurry, right?
308
00:20:39,347 --> 00:20:41,120
It's like we got back in time
309
00:20:42,487 --> 00:20:44,252
when we were in love
310
00:20:45,902 --> 00:20:47,758
and it was easy, no problems.
311
00:20:50,394 --> 00:20:52,151
I wish it would always be like that.
312
00:20:56,508 --> 00:20:58,086
- Hi, Lika.
- Hi.
313
00:20:58,531 --> 00:21:01,171
That's Olia. She gotta tell you something.
314
00:21:02,452 --> 00:21:04,045
Lika, are you sure that letting random
315
00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:05,803
people here is a good idea?
316
00:21:07,319 --> 00:21:10,258
So is your ex wife a random person for you?
317
00:21:13,933 --> 00:21:16,590
Yes, he's my ex husband.
318
00:21:16,980 --> 00:21:19,269
Kirill Rumianov.
319
00:21:20,511 --> 00:21:23,026
Rumiantsev, don't worry. Say it as it is.
320
00:21:24,307 --> 00:21:25,963
He's a fraud.
321
00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,353
We got married a couple of months ago.
322
00:21:30,447 --> 00:21:32,406
I mean a couple of years ago.
323
00:21:32,923 --> 00:21:34,665
Yes, a couple of years.
324
00:21:38,039 --> 00:21:40,578
- And he dumped you.
- He did.
325
00:21:41,281 --> 00:21:43,343
- He stole your money, apartment.
- Yes.
326
00:21:45,734 --> 00:21:47,296
I mean no.
327
00:21:47,859 --> 00:21:50,016
No, I don't even know him.
328
00:21:51,952 --> 00:21:53,498
I can't frame him.
329
00:21:54,991 --> 00:21:59,258
Take it back. I'm an actress, wanted money
330
00:21:59,795 --> 00:22:02,677
but I can't frame anyone. I'm sorry.
331
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:08,172
That's quite uncomfortable.
332
00:22:08,671 --> 00:22:10,664
Lika, they set this whole thing up.
333
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,295
She told me everything and now...
334
00:22:17,839 --> 00:22:19,362
You're such a fool.
335
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:36,688
We can stay here if you want.
336
00:22:37,968 --> 00:22:39,490
I'll build us home.
337
00:22:39,741 --> 00:22:41,436
At night
338
00:22:42,022 --> 00:22:43,928
I'll be playing music in local places
339
00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:47,063
and combing the chickens during the day.
340
00:22:51,546 --> 00:22:53,483
Hi, my chick.
341
00:22:54,858 --> 00:22:56,358
Gosha, 40 years old, racketeer.
342
00:22:56,609 --> 00:22:58,116
They still exist.
343
00:22:58,405 --> 00:23:01,180
Hi. I'm glad your grandpa called,
344
00:23:01,438 --> 00:23:03,453
told me my babe came back.
345
00:23:13,708 --> 00:23:16,289
You ate lunch and you have diarrhea now?
346
00:23:16,786 --> 00:23:20,276
That's okay! Take Stop diarrhea extra!
347
00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:25,547
New orange taste.
348
00:23:29,734 --> 00:23:32,258
- Hello?
- I thought you were a good competition
349
00:23:33,390 --> 00:23:34,968
and you shitted yourself twice a day.
350
00:23:36,336 --> 00:23:39,005
By the way, Ulia is really an actress
351
00:23:39,765 --> 00:23:41,304
and a good friend of mine.
352
00:23:41,555 --> 00:23:43,320
But don't worry, take Stop diarrhea extra!
353
00:23:43,571 --> 00:23:45,086
I heard it works.
354
00:23:47,293 --> 00:23:48,830
And remember
355
00:23:50,423 --> 00:23:52,680
you think I've already done it.
356
00:23:53,587 --> 00:23:55,196
I'm one stop ahead of you.
357
00:23:55,743 --> 00:23:58,469
So don't bark if you can't bite.
358
00:23:59,789 --> 00:24:01,398
You'll get your teeth broken.
23262
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