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START Online Premieres
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It's so good this magic passed me by!
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If I woke up fat,
I would die immediately!
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There's a possibility of it, you know?
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Who knows what else was going on
with our kin, right, mom?
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You should have told me
about it earlier, my darling!
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I should have, especially when
you almost killed me in the restaurant.
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But you were so beautiful and so dangerous
for my marriage!
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Okay, fine. Goodbye.
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Darling, I've settled everything
with the police.
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I told them it was Skolkovo's project.
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The project where people gain weight
and lose it really rapidly.
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- A special project for the Olympians.
- Did they buy it?
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He can make anyone believe anything!
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When he was running for a legislator,
he was talking such nonsense,
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but he was believed anyway.
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Ivan Davidovich, can you ask someone
to make me one more passport?
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I'm afraid, I can't.
A second passport is a serious deal.
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I'll have to call the head of
The Moscow Police,
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invite him to hunt in a nature reserve.
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He'll shoot the forester again.
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And it's very...
Well, of course it can be lobbied.
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There's nothing impossible.
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Aunt Nina!
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Look, this is granny's friend.
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And here they are... Look, granny is slim
here and she's with Aunt Nina again.
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00:01:51,742 --> 00:01:55,583
Do you know where this Aunt Nina lives?
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I guess so. We were at her place.
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They were studying
and then working together.
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00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:06,141
Let's visit her then! She must know
something about granny's transformations.
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- Right now?
- Should I call you a taxi?
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A cargo one.
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ANGELICA
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- 15 minutes have already passed. Let's go.
- Stop!
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Roman Alekseevich warned me
he would be late.
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He has never been late for classes.
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Should we call firefighters in case
there's a fire at his place?
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Hello. You can sit down.
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Today's topic is
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online journalism.
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Blogs.
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It's because of your and Lyoha's photos.
The result of your love games.
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So, blogs.
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Blogs are good.
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I have a blog. I write there about...
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birds and, what you call it, animals!
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If you don't put away your phone,
I'll stick it into your ass!
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And I'll help her!
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00:03:55,431 --> 00:03:57,147
So, the bloggers. They...
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Uliana!
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are practicing a new approach to...
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00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,242
What are you laughing at?
Don't you see he's unwell?
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His pupils are dilated, his pulse is rapid,
coordination is impaired.
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These are the signs of an ischemic attack,
he needs urgent medical assistance!
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What attack?
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00:04:22,223 --> 00:04:24,264
Did you hear that?
Ischemia is attacking!
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His coordination!
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Where are you taking me? I haven't told
you so many interesting things yet!
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No one is leaving here!
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Otherwise I'll mark you absent!
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Oh that smell!
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The last time I smelt something like this
was on the subway.
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What do you want to know about Vera?
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00:04:57,893 --> 00:04:59,444
Come on, ask. But make it quick!
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I have a lot of work to do.
I need to clean the apartment.
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00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:06,230
She hasn't been cleaning it for 20 years
and now suddenly decided to do it.
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00:05:06,815 --> 00:05:09,164
What do you know about
my granny's transformations?
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00:05:09,783 --> 00:05:11,283
I know everything!
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00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:15,000
But she forbade me to tell anyone
because it was a secret.
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Please!
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00:05:18,177 --> 00:05:23,213
Tell me about it, please!
It's the matter of life and death!
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We'll be very grateful for your hep!
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- What do you want?
- You know, I'm very old now.
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And there's a little mess here,
it needs to be cleaned.
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We can do it, right, mom?
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And wash these clothes.
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I can order cleaning services then.
They'll do whatever you want!
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Don't call anyone!
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They'll come and they'll rob my apartment!
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- Do it yourselves, slowly but yourselves.
- Ourselves?
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- Okay, if you say so. Right, mom?
- No way!
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Not in this and not with these!
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00:06:01,755 --> 00:06:04,266
It seems that I'll take the secret
to the grave with me.
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00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,999
Mom!
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Take your hands off.
Take your hands off me!
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00:06:13,188 --> 00:06:14,984
Go and cuddle with Molchanov!
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00:06:15,234 --> 00:06:18,742
Roman Alekseevich, were you celebrating
my absence in class?
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Why didn't you greet me?
Did you sleep well?
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I've been dreaming about this all night!
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What have you done?
What the hell?!
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Come on, comfort him
just the way you can do it.
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I've spent two years on stealing
the legislator from another woman
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so that I would never
do such things again!
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Okay, the floors have been moped.
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Cat litter's been changed.
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The nails and the clothes have been ruined.
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Now tell us granny's secret!
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Why should I tell you a secret?
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00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,492
Tell us or I'll put your cat in the bucket!
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Okay, okay! Put the cat back!
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Put it back.
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Your granny and I were in love
with the same guy in our youth.
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Your grandpa Volodya.
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And Vera was always cheating him
transforming from fat to slim.
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And this fool despite all these things
chose her anyway.
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Vera and I had a fight because of this.
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We hadn't been talking to each other
for a long time. Then I met her.
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She was slim even after having a baby.
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I started asking her about the details.
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But she didn't tell me a thing!
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What?
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- Is this all you know?
- Is this all you know?
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Yes, but this is a secret!
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So don't tell anyone about it!
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I need some air!
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We're leaving!
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Roman Alekseevich, Molchanov didn't know
you and Kristina were dating!
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You've been hiding it so well that
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even I haven't known it
for two years. And he's stupid.
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Where are they?
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00:08:24,944 --> 00:08:27,092
Roman Alekseevich, are you going
to apologize to him?
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00:08:27,343 --> 00:08:28,843
Or are you going to punch him again?
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00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,564
What a jerk! Has he even got
a sense of humor?
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00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:36,617
And why was he dreaming all night
to punch me?
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I don't know. Maybe it's because of
your constant truancy.
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Is every professor going to punch me
in the face because of it now?
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00:08:42,437 --> 00:08:46,256
Lyosha, listen. Can you tell no one
about this fight, please?
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I'll do anything you'll ask.
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What is it you want?
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I want the same thing happened
at the party to repeat.
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00:09:00,008 --> 00:09:01,915
Take your hands off her!
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00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:11,537
I got it! You two are together
and I'm the one who spoils your happiness.
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00:09:11,788 --> 00:09:13,288
Shut your mouth!
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00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:16,359
I'll make you expelled from the university!
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00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:20,091
Actually, it's you who won't be working
here since tomorrow.
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00:09:20,623 --> 00:09:22,123
I'm going to report the assault.
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00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:27,559
What's going on in there?
Open the door, now!
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Now we have the witness.
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I'm as tired as a miner!
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I can't even come up to you to give a hug!
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My poor sweetheart.
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Well, have you found something out?
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00:10:01,408 --> 00:10:04,150
Only the fact that granny and grandpa
got married
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00:10:04,611 --> 00:10:06,719
and she remained slim forever after that.
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00:10:07,182 --> 00:10:08,682
So, you need to marry
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someone's grandpa.
147
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:16,453
Dad, there is one old man in the Duma.
I mean, a really old one.
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00:10:16,773 --> 00:10:18,859
I don't think, he's got so much time left.
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00:10:19,117 --> 00:10:23,898
Why don't you introduce them?
Before it's too late.
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00:10:24,195 --> 00:10:27,609
No, thank you.
I don't want to marry him.
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00:10:29,148 --> 00:10:33,238
Of course it's perfect when the first time
happens at the wedding night.
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00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:35,356
But it's not obligatory nowadays.
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00:10:35,826 --> 00:10:40,797
You can spend a night with a man
without marrying him and stay slim forever.
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00:10:42,469 --> 00:10:43,969
Okay, thank you all.
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00:10:44,695 --> 00:10:46,435
This is very useful advice.
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00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:50,383
The next video was taken
on the beach in Acapulco.
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00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:55,436
And who else was taken on this beach
by Nyusha you are going to find out next.
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00:10:55,919 --> 00:10:59,164
Unbelievable! Nikita is trying to find me!
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00:10:59,422 --> 00:11:01,653
He doesn't know yet that I'm already found.
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00:11:02,192 --> 00:11:03,695
He's so nice.
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00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:05,805
What if Nikita is my old man?
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00:11:06,063 --> 00:11:11,271
I don't know about you, but I just want
to be on this beach with my girlfriend.
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And have a lot of fun there!
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00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:17,113
We've finally reached the top three.
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Yes, Nikita is my old man, I know it!
Hooray!
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00:12:16,254 --> 00:12:18,902
Roma! You're like an angry bull!
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00:12:19,153 --> 00:12:21,050
I had no idea that this fake affair
with Lyosha
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would warm up
our relationship so much!
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00:12:33,008 --> 00:12:34,522
This was a farewell kiss.
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00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:40,573
Go and warm up your relationship
with your punk.
171
00:12:44,373 --> 00:12:49,647
Well, Burdukovskaya, now I see why your
classmates are so afraid to miss classes.
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Margarita Sergeevna,
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Molchanov and I
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are dating.
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He told me he loved me,
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but today I've found out that
he was cheating on me and I flared up.
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00:13:04,481 --> 00:13:05,981
Is it true, Molchanov?
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DO WE STILL HAVE OUR DEAL?
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Yes.
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Yes, it is.
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Forgive me.
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Honey.
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My big-eyed fish.
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You're my life.
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Okay, babe.
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That's enough!
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00:13:39,363 --> 00:13:41,461
The university is the place for studying
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00:13:42,235 --> 00:13:44,321
but not for having love relationship.
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00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:48,509
Your behavior is outrageous, Burdukovskaya.
That's why I...
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00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,529
- Are you going to expel me?
- No.
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00:13:51,054 --> 00:13:53,223
This punishment won't be enough for you.
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00:13:53,918 --> 00:13:56,161
I'm removing you
from the position of the monitor.
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00:13:57,897 --> 00:13:59,397
You may be free now.
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00:14:00,099 --> 00:14:03,254
Take it easy. You can skip
the first class now, my fish.
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00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,051
Molchanov!
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00:14:13,411 --> 00:14:15,364
I've always been dreaming
that you would be
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00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:18,540
that beautiful and slim.
Like a princess from a fairytale.
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00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,554
I hope, exactly at midnight
as in the fairytale
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00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,109
I won't turn into a pumpkin.
200
00:14:24,375 --> 00:14:28,317
You should stay like this forever so that
we could go shopping to Milan together!
201
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,600
What are you doing?
202
00:14:36,202 --> 00:14:39,328
I'm taking Anzhela's photos
for her passport.
203
00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:41,859
- Her passport?
- You asked me to make her a second one!
204
00:14:42,336 --> 00:14:47,398
Inna, would you mind Anzhela and I
going to Migration Service today?
205
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:49,987
She can't.
206
00:14:50,417 --> 00:14:53,172
- Really?
- Come on, let's find you matching shoes.
207
00:14:58,053 --> 00:14:59,950
You're making way too big effect
on my husband.
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00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:02,750
Don't turn slim in our house again, please.
209
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,246
Mom, you know that
I can't control my transformation.
210
00:15:07,731 --> 00:15:10,091
You should learn how to do it then!
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00:15:11,458 --> 00:15:13,188
Don't come here when you're slim, please.
212
00:15:14,286 --> 00:15:15,786
Sorry.
213
00:15:16,106 --> 00:15:17,628
Roman Alekseevich, wake up!
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00:15:17,879 --> 00:15:20,695
Kristina, leave me alone.
I told you it's over between us!
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00:15:21,456 --> 00:15:22,956
Roman Alekseevich!
216
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,131
Wake up, Roman Alekseevich!
217
00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:37,370
- Hi, Vika!
- Hello.
218
00:15:39,148 --> 00:15:41,312
I thought you'd gone missing
together with your sister.
219
00:15:41,563 --> 00:15:44,422
No. And we've already found my sister.
220
00:15:44,673 --> 00:15:47,892
So, finally our host will take off
this silly T-shirt.
221
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:51,488
Why silly? I think it's very cute.
222
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,879
- Excuse me.
- Vika, wait.
223
00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:56,983
We haven't discussed
the details of your contract.
224
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,500
And its content depends fully on you.
225
00:16:00,285 --> 00:16:03,012
You can become the star of our channel.
226
00:16:04,018 --> 00:16:05,699
You'll attend different award ceremonies.
227
00:16:06,097 --> 00:16:10,356
Not only Russia but even Moscow
will be your oyster.
228
00:16:12,859 --> 00:16:16,352
I'm not comfortable
with your hand on my leg.
229
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,491
Keep it off, please.
230
00:16:19,676 --> 00:16:21,531
So that's what you are.
231
00:16:22,046 --> 00:16:23,546
Hi!
232
00:16:24,314 --> 00:16:26,652
Actually, we were discussing the terms
of her contract.
233
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,628
I am not satisfied with the terms.
234
00:16:28,948 --> 00:16:31,769
Well, Vika is my real girlfriend,
not for show numbers.
235
00:16:32,211 --> 00:16:35,336
So your standard contract
is out of the question, sorry.
236
00:16:48,397 --> 00:16:49,897
Where am I?
237
00:16:53,539 --> 00:16:55,266
Burdukovskaya?
238
00:16:56,546 --> 00:16:58,655
Roman Alekseevich, would you like
some chicken soup?
239
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:01,952
Or would you rather have a beer?
240
00:17:02,203 --> 00:17:03,836
You're at my place.
241
00:17:06,154 --> 00:17:07,654
I don't remember anything.
242
00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:11,979
I've just remembered something, though.
243
00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:16,656
The restroom, Molchanov...
244
00:17:21,493 --> 00:17:23,082
I wish I hadn't remembered it.
245
00:17:25,449 --> 00:17:26,949
How did I get there?
246
00:17:27,278 --> 00:17:31,182
I brought you here myself so that no one
saw you like this at the university.
247
00:17:34,275 --> 00:17:35,805
It's so embarrassing.
248
00:17:36,915 --> 00:17:39,282
Zhenya, thank you so much!
249
00:17:41,757 --> 00:17:45,715
Roman Alekseevich,
I can do anything for you.
250
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:51,105
Zhenya? Evgeniya!
251
00:17:53,055 --> 00:17:56,875
Wait, did I tell you something
while I was drunk?
252
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,867
Did I harass you?
253
00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:02,425
No, no. Of course not.
254
00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,467
One problem down.
255
00:18:09,516 --> 00:18:12,186
I'm sorry, I should go.
256
00:18:28,536 --> 00:18:32,446
Thank you again, Nikita,
for saving me from your boss
257
00:18:32,697 --> 00:18:35,303
and for searching for my sister.
258
00:18:35,591 --> 00:18:37,342
You're very welcome.
259
00:18:37,858 --> 00:18:39,585
Well, see you.
260
00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:46,529
Bye.
261
00:18:47,889 --> 00:18:52,077
Me and my sister are very grateful.
262
00:18:57,618 --> 00:19:01,172
Why am I hesitating?
What if I'm losing my chance?
263
00:19:10,396 --> 00:19:11,896
Nikita!
264
00:19:14,498 --> 00:19:16,070
- Nikita.
- Yeah?
265
00:19:16,888 --> 00:19:20,023
Would you like to come over?
We can have dinner together.
266
00:19:22,281 --> 00:19:23,781
Alright.
267
00:19:26,779 --> 00:19:32,438
You know, I'll be rude to a professor again
tomorrow to ge something like this!
268
00:19:34,021 --> 00:19:35,521
Silly boy!
269
00:19:41,039 --> 00:19:43,000
And what if it's not for love?
270
00:19:43,258 --> 00:19:46,171
What if I use Nikita to stay slim?
271
00:19:52,562 --> 00:19:54,062
Hey, what's wrong?
272
00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:57,563
Nikita, don't rush this.
273
00:19:58,753 --> 00:20:01,945
You're used to getting all at once,
but I'm not ready.
274
00:20:02,196 --> 00:20:03,696
All at once?
275
00:20:05,156 --> 00:20:07,875
- You don't even know me.
- What should I know?
276
00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:11,603
You get everything
thanks to your appearance.
277
00:20:12,783 --> 00:20:16,080
My appearance. It only spoils everything!
278
00:20:16,810 --> 00:20:21,177
I can't be sure if a person really likes
me or just wants to use me.
279
00:20:22,005 --> 00:20:24,320
- You know it yourself.
- I agree.
280
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:28,430
Vika, you have no idea
what I'd been through
281
00:20:29,136 --> 00:20:30,988
before I became Nikita.
282
00:20:32,987 --> 00:20:34,819
While in Ulyanovsk I
was constantly told that
283
00:20:35,070 --> 00:20:36,960
I should move to Moscow
with such an appearance.
284
00:20:38,516 --> 00:20:40,454
I believed them and came here.
285
00:20:40,758 --> 00:20:43,297
I though I'd get a job at Ostankino
right away.
286
00:20:48,077 --> 00:20:50,436
It turned out that
there were thousands of guys like me.
287
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:55,238
I've heard a phrase "Thank you,
we'll call you back" for like 500 times!
288
00:20:55,927 --> 00:20:57,826
Thank you, we'll call you back.
289
00:20:58,697 --> 00:21:02,634
I slept on a mattress with bedbugs in
one room with three builders from Belarus.
290
00:21:03,357 --> 00:21:06,659
I was texting mom that I was okay,
however I was so exhausted because
291
00:21:06,909 --> 00:21:10,052
I had been placing the tiles for all day
and working as a waiter for all night.
292
00:21:11,081 --> 00:21:13,159
I picked up girls right
before the closing time
293
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:15,182
because they were
already drunk and well-fed.
294
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:16,933
Then I came to their places.
295
00:21:18,418 --> 00:21:21,629
And not to do this but to wash
my clothes it the washing machine.
296
00:21:23,653 --> 00:21:27,204
Then I entered the university and
had to find the third job
297
00:21:27,533 --> 00:21:29,986
as I had to pay for my studying as well.
298
00:21:35,716 --> 00:21:38,124
Everyone was saying
"Look at this handsome cutie!"
299
00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:41,435
And bread and mayonnaise were killing
that cutie with heartburn!
300
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:53,667
I gave up after two years. I realised that
I had to choose a more realistic dream.
301
00:21:53,918 --> 00:21:56,176
I took a one-way ticket to my home town.
302
00:22:04,146 --> 00:22:06,369
Now I see what people you call back.
303
00:22:06,620 --> 00:22:09,842
I've been going to your auditions for
two years and I haven't got a single call!
304
00:22:10,093 --> 00:22:11,859
It means you're a bad host.
305
00:22:12,117 --> 00:22:15,065
Or maybe because I didn't give you money,
306
00:22:15,324 --> 00:22:18,965
or because I don't have big boobs.
307
00:22:19,656 --> 00:22:24,594
And my parents are no oligarchs or
politicians but retirees from Ulyanovsk.
308
00:22:25,009 --> 00:22:28,604
It's possible but most likely because
you're a bad host.
309
00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,014
And what was your response?
310
00:22:33,742 --> 00:22:35,305
Am I really a bad host?
311
00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:38,300
A really leery Larry rolls readily
to the road!
312
00:22:40,171 --> 00:22:42,117
All in all, I failed.
313
00:22:43,616 --> 00:22:45,203
You're an idiot, that's a fact.
314
00:22:46,388 --> 00:22:48,108
But that's exactly who I'm looking for -
315
00:22:48,646 --> 00:22:50,842
those who really want
to work for our channel.
316
00:22:51,966 --> 00:22:53,466
See you tomorrow.
317
00:22:59,134 --> 00:23:00,634
And what happened next?
318
00:23:01,759 --> 00:23:04,242
Then? Then I met you.
319
00:23:06,034 --> 00:23:11,120
Maybe I was supposed to go this long way
to finally meet you.
23900
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