All language subtitles for gilmore_girls.1x08.love_and_war_and_snow.dvdrip_xvid-fov

[ Miss Patty ]: This town
meeting will come to order.

- No one is listening to me.
- [ Miss Patty ]: Oh, Taylor, calm down.

I can't calm down.
I'm being persecuted.

- I promised that we'd hear you.
- We've been hearing you for 20 minutes.

Well, excuse me, Andrew, but
some of us have businesses to run

that don't involve peddling
drug paraphernalia to kids.

It was a lava lamp, Taylor.

There is no use for a lava lamp
unless you're on drugs.

Oh, for crying out loud.

[ Miss Patty ]: Now, we've already agreed
to look into your accusation but to just...

What'd I miss?

Taylor Doose wants the no-parking
zone in front of his store removed.

He says his customers
are being unfairly ticketed.

- No, it's just because he just wants to park
there all day. - Genius.

I have been mayor of this
fine town for a long time.

I tend to think of all of
you as my children.

Unfortunately, sometimes children
have to be disciplined.

Now, I'm going to say something,
and I'm only gonna say it once.

We have leash laws, people.

Daddy's getting angry.

- Rover will not leash himself.
- Good point.

I would like to now move on to
something of even greater importance.

As you all know,
this coming Friday

is the anniversary of the
legendary Battle of Stars Hollow.

[ applause ]

- Where's Luke?
- There.

Patty will be circulating
a sign-up sheet

for those of you who
would like to participate

in the reenactment
of aforesaid battle.

- He's turning red.
- Oh! Oh!

All right.

"It was a frigid November night,
some 224 years ago..."

He's shifting in his seat.

"...Stars Hollow militia stood
in wait for the redcoats."

He's adjusting the cap.

"Tired and hungry, twelve proud men
took their positions in the town's square."

He's fighting the urge.
He's fighting the urge.

"...and imminent death
in their valiant efforts..."

Oh, for God's sake, do we have to
go through this every damn year?

- Yes!
- And the urge wins by a long shot!

I thought we were here
to discuss town issues.

You've known me
since I was five years old.

Oh, Luke, yes. Sit down.

Now, as I was saying: "Twelve heroic men

"assembled with guns drawn,
ready to meet their maker..."

What are you talking about?
Twelve guys stood in a row all night.

- "...waiting for the redcoats..."
- Who never showed!

Now, just...

Twelve guys stood in a row all night
waiting for an enemy that never showed.

They got stood up. They should've
been wearing prom dresses.

- I've had just about enough of this.
- Sit down, Taylor!

- Menace.
- Suck up.

- Five bucks says someone ends up in a headlock.
- You're on.

Have any of you considered the fact
that you're glorifying a war we fought

so we could keep land
that we stole?

If you don't like
it here in America,

why don't you go stand in line
for toilet paper in the U.S.S.R.!

There is no more U.S.S.R., Harry.

A sense of community
is so important, isn't it?

It's what made
our country great.

[ Harry ] :...if you're
so interested in facts.

♪ If you're out on the road ♪

♪ Feeling lonely,
and so cold ♪

♪ All you have to do
is call my name ♪

♪ And I'll be there
on the next train ♪

♪ Where you lead,
I will follow ♪

♪ Anywhere
that you tell me to ♪

♪ If you need ♪

♪ You need me to be with you ♪

♪ I will follow ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Where you lead ♪

♪ I will follow ♪

♪ Anywhere
that you tell me to ♪

♪ If you need ♪

♪ You need me
to be with you ♪

♪ I will follow
where you lead ♪♪

[ answering machine beeping ]

[ Max on answering machine ]:
Lorelai, it's Max. Medina. Max Medina.

And once again
we miss each other.

It's now 2 o'clock in the
afternoon on Thursday,

and I'm in my office
grading a paper entitled:

"Emily Dickinson: Get a Life."

Anyhow, as I sit here
losing my faith in mankind,

I wonder if we're ever gonna
actually go on that date

we talked about
many moons ago.

I teach a night class
in Stamford twice a week,

and when I pass that Stars Hollow
sign on the turnpike, I think,

"Out there is a beautiful woman
that I someday hope to spend time with."

Anyhow, I'm just
thinking about you.

and I don't know, maybe next week
we can find some time.

Good bye, Lorelai Gilmore.

You knew that. Okay, bye.

[ replaying tape ]

Lorelai, it's Max. Medina.
Max Medina.

- Mom?
- [ answering machine ]: And once again we miss each other.

- Sorry.
- What are you doing up?

- I couldn't sleep.
- It's freezing in here.

Wait, close your eyes
and breathe.

I smell snow.

- Aah, it's that time of year.
- Can't you smell it?

You know, it's like dogs
and high-pitched noises.

I think it's something
only you can smell.

- I love snow.
- Really? I had no idea.

[ squeals ]

Everything's magical when it snows.
Everything looks pretty.

The clothes are great.
Coats, scarves, gloves, hats.

Thermal underwear, wool
socks, earflaps.

Do you know the best things in my life
have happened when it snowed?

Why, yes, I do.

- My best birthday.
- Your first kiss.

Your first steps. They all
happened when it snowed.

Feet.

- I feel good. Tingly.
- That's called frostbite.

You are mocking your mother,
the woman who birthed you.

- I'm sorry.
- During a snowstorm, might I add.

So how soon is it
supposed to hit?

Tomorrow.
Definitely tomorrow.

- Okay, then, tomorrow it is.
- What?

You, me, donuts, coffee,
standing out in a snowstorm.

- At midnight?
- At midnight.

You are my
favorite daughter.

So how many times
are you gonna listen to that?

Till it stops being sexy.

Stop. That's my teacher
you're talking about.

I have to respect him.

Okay, well, if it makes
you feel any better,

while he's being sexy,
he's also being grammatically correct.

Better. Thank you.

Sorry, I woke you up.

That's okay. It's all
fodder for the tell-all.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Lorelai, it's Max. Medina.
Max Medina.

Hey, how is it
out there?

It is cold and gray,
like a fat, dead pigeon.

We'll pull out the sleds.
People might want to sled.

Oh, and we'll need
the parkas.

- For what?
- In case anyone wants to hike.

You know, not everyone finds the idea
of being pelted with frozen water appealing.

I know, and
how sad for them.

The thrilling sensation of
getting lost in a blizzard,

of freezing to death in the woods, and having
to eat your friend's buttocks to stay alive:

that is lost on many people.

I am telling you,
five minutes in a snowball fight,

we could knock that stick
right out of your butt.

Okay, how does this sound?

Maple-sugar snowflakes
on all the pillows?

Oh, that sounds wonderful!

Make them in the shape of a buttock
to get people used to them.

- Is that a real suggestion?
- Sookie, please, who is speaking?

Michel, right, okay.
Snowflakes it is.

[ Lane ]: I just can't believe it.

I mean, I sat next to him
in practice, for months.

And then one day I look over,
and it's...it's Rich.

Rich Bloomenfeld.

Where is my chemistry book?
I had it at your house yesterday, didn't I?

Rory, focus, please.

- I'm sorry. I just can't find my book.
- Hey, babe.

- Sergeant Pepper.
- Mom, do you know where my...

Big scary chemistry book is?
Behind the desk.

Oh, thank God.

[ sighs ]

- Wow!
- Yeah.

- So, is Sookie in the kitchen?
- And there she'll stay.

- Okay. So, where were we?
- I just met my soul mate.

Right.
Rich Bloomenfeld.

Does he still wear the
"Star Trek" shirt?

Now, remember, you do not
take your eyes off this for a minute.

'Cause the second you do, it will boil,
and then it's ruined.

So, just stand there and
stare at it, okay?

- Hey, Sookie.
- Hey, kitty-cats.

Cinnamon buns are over there.

Do you have any of those Rocky Road
cookies that you made yesterday?

I can scrounge some up.

- Lane, you need a bag?
- No, thank you.

- Are you staring?
- I'm staring.

Thank you.

So, anyhow, Rich
has this amazing hair.

- Really?
- Oh, my God, it's so perfect.

It's thick, but it's not too thick,
and it's got really good natural wave.

So he probably uses way less
product than most guys.

Always a plus.

- Hey, what time is it?
- I don't know.

I have to get to the bus stop.
Dean's meeting me there.

- But I'm trying to talk to you about this.
- I know. We'll talk on the way.

- Here you go.
- Thank you, Sookie.

Sweets. I have a locksmith coming to the house today,
like 5 o'clock, and I don't know how long it will take.

So will you tell Grandma and
Grandpa that I'll be late,

and that I'm having Satan's baby?
You pick the order.

I'll relay the time message
but I'm leaving the rest up to you.

- What is this? You hate Rocky Road cookies.
- I do not.

I'm sorry. That must be
my other daughter, Shmory.

- We're leaving now.
- Wait a minute.

I know who likes
Rocky Road cookies.

- Who?
- Dean. They're for Dean.

She's bringing baked goods
to a boy. Wow, serious.

Here, Dean, these cookies
are for you, because you're keen.

- Stop.
- Rory's in love!

Love, love, love,
Dean, Dean, Dean!

Love, and the Dean,
and the cookies for the love.

Love, and the Dean,
and the cookies for the love.

And the love, and the Dean,
and the love, and the Dean.

- All right, we can stop. She's gone now.
- But it's fun.

You're on your own.

Cookies for the Dean, and the rock,
cookies for the love...

I just...I just
can't believe it.

I've known him since the sixth grade,
but suddenly he's different.

He's not gangly anymore.
You remember how gangly he was?

I'm sorry, what?

- You're not listening to me.
- I am. I'm sorry.

I just couldn't find my bookmark.
Okay, go ahead.

Okay. Here are the problems facing
the whole Bloomenfeld-Kim situation.

One: hyphenation
would be a pain.

Two: he's my band partner.
Romance would be completely awkward.

Three: he's never even looked at me like
I'm a girl or something resembling one.

Four: there's no way I could
convince my parents he was Korean.

But I can't help it,
I'm obsessed.

- Did I tell you about his hair?
- It's on his head, right?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Lane.
- Dean.

Nice hat.

- Here.
- How'd...how'd you like it?

Well, I could tell you,
but then I'd have to kill you.

Aha! You liked it. You liked Jane Austen.
I knew you would.

- Lane, Dean likes Jane Austen.
- Wow, who would've thought?

I told him he would,
but he was all:

"Forget Jane Austen. You have
to read Hunter Thompson."

You do have to read
Hunter Thompson.

Not as much as you
needed to read Jane Austen.

- Yeah, yeah. What's that?
- Just some cookies.

- Rocky Road.
- Yeah.

Wow, she brings me cookies.
How can I repay her?

- How about a little Charlotte Brontë?
- How about something else?

That's good, too.

Okay, I gotta go.
I'm gonna be late for homeroom.

I have that perfect-attendance
certificate in my sights.

- See you later.
- Yeah, see you.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we have flakes.

Flakes have been sighted.
"Flakeage," if you will, has begun.

Michel, it's the first
snowfall of the season.

- It's very lucky. Make a wish.
- Get away from me.

Oh, you're not supposed
to say it out loud.

[ phone ringing ]

- Independence Inn.
- The world changes when it snows.

It gets quiet.
Everything softens.

- It's your mother.
- And then the rain comes.

[ sighs ]

Hi, Mom.

- Have you seen the news?
- Ever?

A bad storm's heading your way.
It's already hitting us here.

Well, don't panic. I'll get the ark,
you get the animals.

I just sent Lance to pick up
Rory at school.

The roads are terrible,
black ice everywhere.

It's just a mess out there.
I hate this kind of weather.

So, anyhow, what time
will you get here?

Well, gee, Mom,
I don't know, let's see.

Black ice, treacherous roads. I guess
I'll just put on my red-white-and-blue leotard,

grab my golden lasso,
and fly the invisible plane.

You're not coming.

If it's as bad as you say it is,
I don't see how I'd get there.

- Well, I guess it'll just be the three of us then.
- I guess so.

And you know, Rory should probably
spend the night tonight, also.

- Okay.
- And if it's still bad tomorrow...

Why don't you see
what the weather does

before you fill out a
change-of-address card.

[ Rory ]: Hey, Grandma.

- Rory's here.
- Put her on a sec.

- Rory, it's your mother.
- Hey.

- Hi. Things bad out there, huh?
- It's crazy.

Snow coming down
everywhere

and let me just tell you, saddle shoes
are not the best all-weather footwear.

- Oh, you fell.
- Twice.

- Yikes. I'm sorry.
- What's the deal? Are you coming over tonight?

No, I guess, I'm pretty much
stuck in the Hollow tonight.

Bummer. Well, we can take our
snow walk tomorrow night?

Absolutely.

Now, honey, tell Grandma you arrived
there not a member of the Junior League.

I'd like you to leave there
the same way.

- Call if you get lonely.
- I will. Bye.

Harry, come on, stop this before
somebody drives through town

and thinks the local mental
institution has bad padlocks.

Luke, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Your father was a reenactor.

Yes, and I thought
he was crazy also.

- Who's stepping on my musket?
- That'd be me.

Well, stop it.

[ laughing ]

There goes the fire chief,
the police chief,

and the one paramedic with a valid license.
I feel safe. Don't you?

Look at them.
All relatively intelligent men,

but there they are,
dressed up in costumes,

standing out in a snowstorm,
and for what?

Because it's tradition.

Tradition is a trap that allows people
to stick their head in the sand.

Everything in the past
was so quaint, so charming.

Times were simpler.
Kids didn't have sex.

Neighbors knew each other.
It's a freaking fairy tale.

Things sucked then, too.
It sucked without indoor plumbing.

I think some traditions are nice.

Birthdays, holidays.

Taking a walk in the
first snow of the season.

I didn't get the Hallmark
card for that one.

When I was five,
I had a really bad ear infection,

and I had been home in bed for a week,
and I was very sad.

So I wished really hard that something
wonderful would happen to me.

And I woke up the next morning,
and it had snowed.

And I was sure that some fairy godmother
had done it just for me.

It was my little present.

Your parents never explained
the concept of weather to you?

I am making a point, Mouthy McGee.
Of course, many years later,

I realized that, logically,the snow
was not there for me personally.

But, still, when it snows,
something inside me says,

"Hey, that's your present."
I don't think it'll ever change.

- My father used to be one of those guys.
- Yeah?

- Yeah, he even had his own musket.
- Really?

Never had to rent it.

- Where's the musket now?
- He was buried with it.

- Wow!
- Yeah, he loved that musket.

That's nice,
in a disturbing sort of way.

Come on in.
I'll get you some coffee.

No, thanks.

I'm gonna walk around.
Enjoy my present a little.

[ Band teacher ]: People, people,
please get into formation.

Hats on and
instruments in place.

Do not, I repeat,

do not actually put instruments
to your mouths

until we are inside.

Remember what happened
to the flautist last year.

Oh!

[ all laughing ]

I smell snow.

Well, well, well.

- What's up, teach?
- What are you doing here?

I live here. What are
you doing here?

I was on my way back from Stamford.
My car decided to stop.

- Here?
- Yes.

- In my town?
- Yes.

Good car.

- It's nice to see you.
- You, too.

You know, a minute ago,
I was really angry about something,

and now I...I just can't
remember what it was.

- That's snow for you.
- I guess so.

So, this is quite a
predicament you're in.

Stranded here in a strange town,
with no one you know.

Oh, wait.

- Where's Rory tonight?
- She's in Hartford with her grandparents.

- That must be nice.
- Whatever you say.

- So, Rory's in Hartford?
- Yes.

- And I'm in Stars Hollow.
- Correct.

- And you're...
- Trying to figure out where I should take you.

No, no, where
I should take you.

This is my town.
You know nothing around here.

No, but I was the one
who asked you out initially.

So, therefore, I am still
obligated to do the taking.

Yes, but I was the one who did the
canceling after you did the asking.

Therefore you forfeit your
taking rights to me, the canceller.

- So we're actually gonna do this?
- Yes, we are.

Let me just give this guy my keys,
and then we'll go.

- Great.
- "Great" is an understatement.

I just don't understand
why you waited so late to call.

Are you sure?

Fine. All right.
Yes, goodbye.

Well, I don't know what
I'm gonna do now.

What's the problem, Emily?

The problem is that apparently Florence
cannot get here because of the storm.

Florence?

Our cook.

We'll just have
to go out, then.

Oh, please, Richard, pay attention.
We can't go out. It's miserable out there.

We'll figure something out then.

What? What will we figure out?

- I don't know, but...
- I hate the damn snow.

- Emily, calm down.
- This is a serious problem.

These Friday dinners are the only
proper food that child eats all week.

Rory, are you in
any way malnourished,

or in need of some international
relief organization to recruit a celebrity

to raise money
on your account?

- I'm good.
- She's good, Emily.

Your sense of humor rears its ugly head
at the oddest of times, Richard.

Emily, I'm not the mastermind behind some
great scheme to spoil your dinner plans,

and I don't care to be
treated as such.

So you're fine with having
no dinner tonight, is that it?

- I certainly am not.
- Hey, how about I check the fridge?

I'm sure there's something in
there we could whip up.

- Whip up?
- Yeah, come on.

It'll be fun, I promise.

Well, come on,
Mr. We'll-Figure-It-Out.

- Nothing.
- Not a blessed thing.

Hey, there's frozen pizza.

- How did that get there?
- Maybe you bought it and forgot about it.

I've never bought frozen pizza.
It must belong to Anna.

- The maid.
- Yes.

Got one!

- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna make it.

- Oh, Rory, you're not serious?
- That hardly looks like dinner.

I agree. Rory, that's food you eat
at a carnival, or in a Turkish prison.

I promise you're gonna love it.

- But...
- Listen, just leave it up to me.

You guys go back to the living room,
and I'll call you when it's ready.

- Hey, Grandma?
- Yes?

What are the odds of you knowing
where a cookie sheet would be?

- I'd say very slim.
- Never mind. I'll find it.

Very slim?
Thank you for that.

Thank you. Hold that.

- Thanks.
- Thanks.

- God, it's a beautiful night, huh?
- Yes, it is.

- So, tell me something about yourself.
- Like what?

- Um, have you ever been married?
- Nope.

- Ever been close?
- Once.

- And?
- She's in Thailand now.

- Sex trade?
- Bank of America.

It's usually
one or the other.

She went there on business.
She did well. She never came back.

- Oh, sad.
- It was, at the time.

- But if it was meant to be...
- Oh, he believes in fate.

Fate, poetry, love.
They all go together, don't they?

Yes, they do.

- How about you?
- Oh, I've never been married.

- Ever been close?
- Uh, Rory's dad proposed.

- What happened?
- The bell rang. I was late for chem lab.

You ever sorry
that you didn't?

Oh, no. We were so young and my life
would've been completely different.

You know, I wouldn't live here.
I wouldn't work here.

I wouldn't be walking
here with you.

- Where are we going?
- You'll see.

Are we gonna get there
before we freeze?

Now, what kind of fun would it be
if I told you the answer?

- You're crazy.
- Very possible.

- And I'm following you.
- Yes, you are.

- So possibly, I'm crazier than you are.
- Again, very possible.

- A match made in heaven.
- Or in Bellevue.

It must be fate.

Oh, this is getting
ridiculous, Aaron.

I will not continue to have
these conversations with a child!

Yes, he is a child.

Well, when he's worked 30 years at the
company, that's when he's not a child.

Until then,
I don't care what his opinions are.

Aaron, are you listening to me?

Good, because I'm hanging up
on you now,

and I wanted to make sure
that you heard it.

[ telephone clicking ]
What a moron.

[ pager beeping ]

[ telephone ringing ]

Hello, Rory?

Lane?

- Where are you?
- I'm at my grandparents'.

What are you doing at my house?

- Like you care.
- What are you talking about?

You're never around when I need you.

You know I have to go to my
grandparents' on Fridays.

I know! You go to your grandparents'.
You go to Chilton.

You have to meet Dean. He needs
his cookies. "I can't find my books."

What are you taking about?

What good is it to have a best friend
when she's never around?

And she never listens, and she has
no interest in the fact that you're in love,

- or you touched his hair?
- You touched whose hair?

Rich...Bloomenfeld.

Why would you touch
Rich Bloomenfeld's hair?

Why? That's a good question.
I don't know why.

Why would a sane person do a thing
like that? Maybe I'm not sane.

Maybe I'm going through
some sort of phase.

Maybe I really, really needed someone to
talk to about this, and you weren't there.

Lane, come on.

No, you come on. You're always at school,
or you're talking about school.

Or you're with Dean.

You have everything now,
and I have nothing.

Except for 2,000 Korean Bibles,
and a potential "F" in jazz band.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry. Be here.

[ crackling on telephone ]
I'm...Lane? Are you there?

- Rory? Rory?
- Lane?

- There you are.
- I think the phones went dead.

It's probably just
this horrible storm.

- You must come downstairs immediately.
- What's wrong?

- The stove is buzzing.
- It's just the timer, Grandma.

I know it's the timer, Rory.
What I don't know is where it's located

- or how to turn it off.
- But I really need to call Lane back.

There's nothing you can do now.
The phones'll come back.

- Now, please, come downstairs and help me stop the buzzing.
- But...

[ Richard ]: Emily, get down here!

Okay, let's go.

[ Lorelai ]: So, the fiesta burger.

[ Max ]: Very interesting.

- Very spicy.
- Oh, yeah.

- How's your tongue?
- Much better, thank you.

[ sighing ]

- Are you scared yet?
- Not yet.

- [ gasping ] - Are you scared yet?
- [ screaming ] - I'm still good.

Are you scared yet?

- You know, you're very annoying in a movie.
- I know.

I think it's very important
that you know my faults,

as well as my
many attributes.

- Very thoughtful of you.
- It is, isn't it?

Because, as you know,

you can get carried away
by your many attributes.

And suddenly find yourself
thinking, "Oh, my God!

"This woman is
absolutely perfect."

We wouldn't want that,
now, would we?

No, we wouldn't.

♪ [ music playing ]

Hmm.

You want to eat it
before it gets cold.

[ cutlery rattling ]

- How is it?
- Not cold!

Hmm. It's quite tasty.

- Emily, we should have this more often.
- What?

Perhaps instead of that horrible
salmon that keeps showing up.

That salmon is a fine delicacy.

Hmm. Po-tay-to,
po-tah-to.

Try it again, Grandma.
It's probably cooler now.

- No, thank you, I'm fine.
- You know what?

It's really good if you add
some extra Parmesan to it.

This is Mom's special trick.

Frozen pizza is a staple at our house.

Mom's become a major doctoring genius.
She'll put anything on it.

One time Sookie came
and brought us some foie gras,

- and Mom stuck it on a pizza.
- How was it?

Pretty good, once we
took the foie gras off.

Okay, that's good.

Try it. Please?

If you want to get really crazy,
you can pick it up.

Well, all right.

Here goes nothing.

- Mmm! That's wonderful!
- See?

Rory, pass me that cheese.

Trust me.

It makes all the difference.

I'll be right back.

I found this in Mom's room.

- [ Emily ]: What's that?
- Pictures.

Oh, my goodness,
I haven't seen that in years.

Oh, my gosh.

- Oh! Look at this.
- [ Richard chuckling ]

[ Rory ]:
That's one fluffy white dress.

Yes. There were 12
petticoats underneath it.

We got it in London,
remember, Richard?

She looks like
a little princess.

Yes. Well, if memory serves, I believe
about two minutes after that picture,

her highness dumped a
glass of grape juice all over it.

- Look, Emily, it's Hopey.
- [ Rory ]: Hopey?

My younger sister.

Has she been here when I was here?
Don't remember her.

Oh, she lives in Paris.
Our great expatriate.

Oh, my Hopey, look at you.
I haven't seen her in such a long time.

- Maybe we should take a trip this year.
- That would be nice.

- Maybe Rory could go with us.
- I'll start packing tomorrow.

- Oh, is that you guys?
- Yes, it is.

- That is our wedding picture.
- That's an amazing dress.

It should've been. My mother had three
seamstresses working round the clock making it.

- Do you still have it?
- It's upstairs packed away somewhere.

I'll save it for you if you like.

Oh, Emily. Rory's too young
to be thinking about things like that.

Oh, please. Every young girl thinks
about her wedding. I know I did.

I knew when I was twelve
that I wanted lilies and orchids

with a silver bow wrapped
around them for my bouquet.

You also knew that you
wanted to marry Errol Flynn.

- Oh, really? Grandma had a thing for the pirate guy?
- I did not have a thing for the pirate guy.

She was mad about him.

She even tried to get me to grow
one of those little mustaches.

- You're kidding.
- Richard, stop.

She wanted me to
swing from a chandelier.

Now you're just being silly.

Luckily, I was on the
fencing team in college,

or I would have married
Lucinda Lester by now.

Actually, Lucinda Lester
looked a lot like Errol Flynn.

I should've married her,
it would've been very modern of me.

Wow! Mom looks really
beautiful here.

- Yes, she does.
- What was the occasion?

Who would like some coffee?

That was her debutante gown
for her coming-out party.

- Mom had a coming-out party?
- No, she didn't.

Oh.

Yes, well, things happen,
don't they?

If you'll excuse me,
I have some business calls to make.

I'll go get that coffee.

- Here.
- What is this?

- I brought you coffee.
- No, thank you.

Harry, you're freezing.
Take the damn coffee.

When our forefathers stood out
here many moons ago,

- they didn't have any coffee.
- How do you know?

Do you have written documentation
about what sort of beverages

they did or did not have on that long,
historic night of standing?

This is still a joke to you,
young man.

I don't choose to be a joke.
We don't need your coffee.

Harry, please,
take the coffee.

My father would have
taken the coffee.

Well, all right, then. Thank you.

- Andrew?
- Thank you, Luke.

- Kirk?
- You got any herbal tea?

Uh, not on me,
but I can get some.

- With a squeeze of lemon.
- Okay.

I could really go
for some cocoa.

That sounds good.
Cocoa for me, too.

Okay, okay. Hang on a minute.
One herbal tea, uh,

and two cocoas.

[ Lorelai ]: Right in the middle,
it was scary.

- [ Max ]: Yeah, that part was a little slow.
- Slow?

But it picked up pretty soon
after that, don't you think?

♪ [ "Someone To Watch Over Me"
by Rickie Lee Jones playing ]

♪ There is a somebody
I'm longing to see ♪

♪ I hope that he ♪

♪ Turns out to be ♪

- [ Lorelai ]: So this is it, my house.
- [ Max ]: It's nice.

Thank you.

Good porch.

Nice windows.

Front door.

- Which opens, I assume.
- Yeah.

- Something wrong?
- No, nothing's wrong.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I, uh...

[ sighing deeply ] See, I was so excited
about the snow, and about seeing you...

- Thank you. - You're welcome.
That I didn't really think this thing out.

and I usually think
this kind of thing out.

- So I'm just thinking this thing out.
- Wh-what thing?

- Inviting a man over to my house.
- Okay.

See, I have really
strict rules about dating.

I keep my personal life totally separate
from my life with Rory.

You know, I never want
her to feel unsettled

or like her life could just shift
at any moment.

I totally understand.

And she comes first,
and this is her house, too.

I understand. This is something
that you don't do often.

- Ever.
- Ever?

- Never.
- I see.

[ chuckling ]
I mean, I've dated.

And, uh, you know, dated.

[ chuckling ]

But, uh, I've just never...dated

here, in our house.

What if I promised you
that if you let me in,

all I'm expecting is a...is a
cup of coffee? That's it.

Nothing weird or funny.

- Unless, of course, you're into weird and funny,
- Max.

'Cause I could do
weird and funny.

Lorelai,

I've been enjoying
the hell out of myself tonight,

- and I think you are, too.
- I am.

Well, so, it's, uh, snowing,

- cold, and your daughter is elsewhere.
- I know. I know.

I mean, the whole night's been
a weird kismet of events.

- Oh, it's that fate guy again.
- At some point in your life,

you're gonna have to decide that some guy
is worth opening that front door for.

I am just volunteering.

Would you like some coffee?

So, how strong do you like your coffee?
Because I've built up such a tolerance to it,

I usually make it too intense
for most people.

Yeah, I lived through the fiesta
burger. Don't hold back now.

Okay.

- Can I help?
- Um, yeah, you can fill up the pot.

Ooh, I'm very good at that.

- Six cups sounds good?
- Fine.

What are you gonna have?

[ laughing ]

You do know that was
a leading question, right?

Really? How so?

[ moaning ]

- How badly do you want that coffee?
- Not that badly.

Such a good answer.

[ panting ]

How many kids
did you say you have?

One. Why?

Lane! Hi! Hi!

What a...we're just...
what're...what're...

- what are you doing here?
- I'm sorry. I was waiting for Rory.

I'll just go back into her room,
and I won't come back out. I promise.

[ door closing ]

Oh, that's The Cure.
I have to go back in there.

It's okay, I'll...
I'll finish up the coffee.

- I'll be back as fast as humanly possible.
- Good.

♪ I've been living so long ♪

♪ With my pictures of you,
that I ♪

[ music stops playing ]

Hey!

Sorry I messed up
your date.

You didn't mess up my date.
What's going on?

- I was waiting for Rory to get home.
- Sweetie, Rory's stuck in Hartford tonight.

Oh, I didn't know.
I'll just go.

Hey, do you want to talk?

I'm not Rory, but we do
use the same blow dryer.

I did something
really stupid today.

- Okay, what did you pierce?
- Nothing.

- I touched a boy's hair.
- Okay.

- A boy I really like.
- So far, I'm missing the stupid part.

- I kind of did it without his permission.
- Now we're getting somewhere.

I don't know what happened.
I mean, I was just standing there.

And then he bends over,
and his hair falls forward

and suddenly it's like
my hand has a life of its own.

Sounds like your hand had a
little help from your hormones.

God, I'm so humiliated.
I can't ever go back to school.

I'll have to be home-schooled.
My mother finally gets her way.

Look at it from a
different perspective.

You have so many years of
screw-ups ahead of you.

View this as a trial run
for really grown-up humiliation.

So not helping.

- Maybe you should be a hairdresser.
- Lorelai!

Yes. It's perfect. You can run your
hands through anybody's hair

- and they'll pay you for it.
- What am I going to do?

I mean, everyone at school's gonna be
talking about me. I can't show my face.

Everybody does stupid
things in high school.

- It's like a requirement.
- Not like this!

No, some people get pregnant.

Talk about something really
juicy for the gossip mill.

I forgot about that.

Yeah. Everybody screws up,
Lane. That's what happens.

It's what you do
with the screw-ups,

it's how you handle the experience.
That's what you should judge yourself by.

I have a great life
and an amazing kid.

And I took a detour.

- I ended up someplace good.
- Yeah.

Tell me this.

How did his hair feel?
Good as it looked?

Better.

Oh, you're gonna be fine.
I'm positive about that.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

So, who's the guy?

Rory's teacher.

- Oh. He has nice hair.
- Yeah.

[ door closing ]

- Hey.
- Hey.

[ sighing ]

- Everything okay in there?
- It will be.

So, where did we leave off?

Uh-uh-oh. Lane is gonna
stay here tonight.

She had a really
bad teen day

and she needs to crash
someplace sympathetic.

Okay, I understand.

I swear to God, if this wasn't
a major Judy Blume moment,

I would kick her cute little butt
right out of here.

Can you recommend a hotel
that's really, really close to here?

Why don't you just stay here tonight?
Everybody else is.

- I don't know.
- Really, the couch is comfortable.

And there's pillows and blankets.
And the bathroom's through there.

And the kitchen has nothing in it

but running water,
if you get thirsty.

and it's an awful night.

- Okay, if it's not a problem.
- Not at all.

Could I at least give you
a kiss good night?

Only if you intend to
live till morning.

- Good night.
- Good night.

[ laughing ]

[ vehicle approaching ]

- Hi!
- Hi!

- What's up?
- Nothing. What's up with you?

You have something
to tell me.

Boy, you're so smart.
Right. Okay. Here we go.

I've got a boy
in the house.

- You what?
- Nothing happened, I swear.

- He slept the whole night on the couch.
And you know him. - I do?

And you like him!
I don't know if that's relevant,

I just thought that I
would throw that in there.

- [ Lorelai whispering ]: It's Mr. Medina.
- I know.

My English teacher is
on my couch.

It was the snow.
You know how I get. It's like catnip.

I was walking. He was there.
His car was broken. We had fiesta burgers.

It was the snow.

Rory, say something.

Rory, talk to me.

- How do you feel?
- I don't know.

Take a guess:
angry, frustrated, nauseous?

Weird. I...I feel weird.

- Has he been here all night?
- Pretty much.

Oh, my God!
Did he go into the bathroom?

I have stuff hanging in there!

Honey, you knew I was gonna date him,
right? This isn't a total surprise.

Yes, I knew you were gonna date.
I just didn't expect for him to be here

- at our house in the morning.
- I know.

I don't even remember ever
there being a man in our house.

Yeah, well, I kind of broke the rules.

God, why is this
so weird for me?

Because I should
have told you first.

No.

- Because I should have talked to you
before I did this. - No.

Because you're afraid he smooshed
the couch pillows out of shape?

Do you love him?

I, uh...

we had one date.
It was a great date.

World Series level.
But it was just a date.

Honey, I promised myself
a long time ago

that I was gonna keep all this
stuff separate from you.

And I want you to know
that still stands, okay?

This was a one-time thing.

I'm not gonna start
just bringing guys home.

This is not a trend.

- You can, you know.
- What?

Bring guys home.

I mean, if you like someone,
you should feel comfortable doing that.

- I appreciate that.
- I want you to be happy.

And I love you for that.

Plus, I know you're
not a cat person.

So you truly will be alone
if you don't find someone.

Okay, look, someday, I
will bring somebody home.

But when I do, I just want
to be sure it's the guy.

- Mr. Medina's not the guy?
- I don't know.

He might be.

But right now,
it's just you and me.

And sometimes Lane.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, I'm gonna go
wake the man up.

Your mom let me spend
the night here.

I tried calling you back all night, but the
phones didn't turn back on until morning.

- That's okay. I understand.
- Lane, I'm so sorry.

I've been the worst
friend lately.

No, I just wigged out a little.

I get jealous sometimes.

I mean, you seem to have
this really great life going

and I don't really
fit in there.

That's not true.
You totally fit in.

- Yeah?
- I'm talking Legos.

I hope so.

I will be better from now on,
I promise.

- Twenty-four hours a day, at your disposal.
- Dean will love that.

Well, he'll have to.
You came first.

That's right. I got dibs.

Okay. I have to go home.

- Coffee at Luke's, 2 o'clock?
- You're on.

And I wanna hear all about
that hair-touching incident.

Yeah. And I wanna hear the rest
of the teacher-on-the-couch incident.

Deal.

[ Lorelai and Max chatting ]