Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,678
YOU AND JACKIE DID NOT DO IT.
2
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,930
NO, WE SO DID IT.
3
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,017
YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING
THAT YOU DID IT.
4
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,019
KELSO, SHE WEARS THE PANTS,
5
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,354
AND THEY HAVE NEVER COME OFF.
6
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,689
LOOK AT MY FACE.
7
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,817
THIS IS A FACE THAT DID IT.
8
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,488
HOLY SMOKES. I THINK HE DID IT.
9
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:33,615
[TOGETHER] KELSO DID IT!
10
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:41,040
YEAH. CONGRATULATIONS, MAN.
11
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,487
PLUS, YOU DID IT IN RECORD TIME.
12
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,586
YEAH, YOU THINK?
13
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,920
NO, YOU MORON.
14
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:49,715
YOU'VE BEEN KISSING HER
ASS FOR OVER A YEAR.
15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,759
YEAH, BUT THAT'S OVER, MAN.
16
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,218
IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN TO YOU KIDS
17
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,888
THAT HAVE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE,
18
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,389
BUT WHEN YOU'RE WITH A WOMAN,
19
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,600
SOMETHING CHEMICAL
HAPPENS TO HER.
20
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,351
NOW JACKIE'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
21
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:04,563
SHE'S LIKE MY LOVE SLAVE.
22
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,816
OH YEAH. I'M THAT GOOD.
23
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,069
HEY, GUYS.
24
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:13,155
HI, SWEETIE. HOW ARE YOU?
25
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,990
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I'M A LITTLE BIT CHILLY,
26
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,992
BUT I LEFT MY COAT
UP IN THE CAR.
27
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,620
I'LL GO GET IT FOR YOU. MISS ME.
28
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,499
HANDY LITTLE THING, ISN'T SHE?
29
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,001
OKAY, THAT WAS SO COOL.
30
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,336
COOL?
31
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,171
AND BY COOL, I MEAN
WRONG AND STUPID.
32
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,923
SHUT UP, SHUT UP.
WRESTLING'S BACK ON.
33
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,383
OH, I LOVE WRESTLING.
34
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,807
COME ON. YOU'RE NOT EVEN
FIGHTING BACK.
35
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,059
WHY WOULD HE FIGHT BACK?
36
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,393
(MALE TV ANNOUNCER)
DON'T FORGET, FANS,
37
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:44,881
THIS SATURDAY NIGHT,
PRO WRESTLING
38
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:46,459
IS COMING TO
THE NATIONAL GUARD ARMORY
39
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,731
IN KENOSHA, WISCONSIN.
40
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,442
WATCH ROCKY JOHNSON TAKE ON
20 SNARLING MIDGETS.
41
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,069
NOW BACK TO THE ACTION.
42
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,779
ROCKY JOHNSON'S
COMING TO KENOSHA?
43
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,280
OH, MAN. WE GOT TO GO.
44
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:59,535
I'M IN. I LOVE MIDGETS, MAN.
45
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,620
(RED) ERIC, I NEED
TO SEE YOU UP HERE.
46
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:05,249
OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT UP.
47
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,460
YOU'RE NOT GOING UP?
48
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,295
I'LL GO UP WHEN I'M READY.
49
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:13,423
[TOGETHER] OHH.
50
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,092
SO I JUST SAID TO MYSELF,
51
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,469
I DON'T CARE IF ALL I HAVE
IS DIRTY LAUNDRY AND
52
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,305
NO MONEY, I'M GOING HOME
TO SEE MY PARENTS,
53
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:24,393
BECAUSE I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH.
54
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,562
AW.
55
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,814
OH MY.
56
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,566
OH, WELL,
57
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,152
WILL YOU LOOK AT THESE?
58
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,486
YEAH, MOM.
59
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,655
ALL THE GIRLS ARE WEARING THEM.
60
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,157
ERIC, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
61
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,844
YEAH, ERIC, I CALLED YOU
5 MINUTES AGO.
62
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,160
I WAS WATCHING WRESTLING.
63
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,047
DID YOU TAKE THOSE BOOKS
BACK TO THE LIBRARY
64
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,705
LIKE I ASKED YOU?
65
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,039
UH, YEAH. I TOOK THEM BACK.
66
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,499
WELL, THEN, WHY DID I SEE THEM
67
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,501
IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR CAR?
68
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,044
WELL, I TOOK THEM BACK...
69
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,755
TO THE CAR.
70
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:57,759
WHICH MEANS THAT THEY'RE
PRACTICALLY AT THE LIBRARY.
71
00:02:57,927 --> 00:02:59,219
YOU KNOW, DAD, I FEEL SORRY
72
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:04,308
FOR ALL THE GOOD KIDS WHO
WANTED TO READ THOSE BOOKS.
73
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,102
THAT'S WHO I FEEL SORRY FOR.
74
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,729
OKAY, IT'S FIVE BOOKS,
75
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,063
A NICKEL A BOOK,
76
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,523
UH, BIG DEAL. I'M OUT A QUARTER.
77
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,025
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, SON.
78
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,568
IT'S ABOUT THE RULES,
79
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,111
AND WITHOUT RULES,
WE MIGHT AS WELL
80
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,071
ALL BE UP IN A TREE
FLINGING OUR CRAP
81
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:21,325
AT EACH OTHER.
82
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:28,248
UH, OKAY.
83
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,834
LIBRARY CLOSES IN HALF AN HOUR,
84
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,211
SO GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE.
85
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,658
DAD, YOU KNOW, ALL MY FRIENDS...
86
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,089
HEY, HEY, HEY, PAL.
I'M NOT THE BAD GUY HERE.
87
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,097
NOW YOU SCREWED YOURSELF
WHEN YOU DIDN'T RETURN
88
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,719
THOSE BOOKS, NOW GO.
89
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,679
OKAY.
90
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,806
NO.
91
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:53,565
DID YOU SAY "NO"?
92
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,401
ARE YOU TELLING ME NO?
93
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,612
IS THAT WHAT I'M HEARING?
94
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,492
YEAH.
95
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:08,872
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS FROM "THE
GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY"]
96
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,879
OH, DEAR.
97
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,553
♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪
98
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:27,266
♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪
99
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,936
♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪
100
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:34,439
♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪
101
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:38,318
♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪
102
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,613
♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪
103
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,741
♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪
104
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,912
HELLO, WISCONSIN!
105
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,750
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING
106
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,425
YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING?
107
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,638
NO.
108
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:07,973
WHEN YOU TALK TO LAURIE,
109
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,017
YOU ACTUALLY HAVE
A CONVERSATION,
110
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,644
BUT WITH ERIC,
YOU JUST GIVE ORDERS.
111
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,982
KITTY, HE SAID NO TO ME.
112
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,859
WELL, HE'S GETTING OLDER, RED.
113
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,486
I THINK IT'S TIME YOU TWO
DEVELOPED A FRIENDSHIP,
114
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,054
'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
HE'LL MOVE AWAY
115
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,323
AND WE'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.
116
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,533
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
117
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,205
RED.
118
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,251
I CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH ERIC.
119
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,170
HE'S TOO...
120
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,298
TWITCHY.
121
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,799
WELL, RED, UNTIL I SEE YOU
122
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,176
MAKE SOME KIND OF EFFORT,
123
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,261
I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP
BRINGING IT UP.
124
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,138
THREATS AREN'T GOING
TO WORK, KITTY.
125
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,474
IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERY
NEWSPAPER YOU'RE READING,
126
00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,018
EVERY NAP YOU'RE TAKING,
EVERY FOOTBALL GAME
127
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,062
YOU'RE WATCHING, I'LL BE THERE
128
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,814
TALKING, TALKING,
TALKING, TALKING.
129
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:17,250
BOB, I'M THINKING OF
STARTING THERAPY.
130
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:20,879
OKAY, I'M GONNA BE...
131
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,548
BYE.
132
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,883
THERAPY?
133
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,761
THAT'S FOR CRAZIES.
134
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:31,556
YOU KNOW, THE UNEXAMINED SELF
IS AN UNFULFILLED SELF.
135
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,892
HOW CAN YOU BE UNFULFILLED?
136
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,477
I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD,
137
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,230
I PAY THE BILLS,
I TAKE CARE OF YOU.
138
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,773
YEAH, BUT WHAT DO I DO?
139
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,526
YOU FILL OUT THAT SWEATER
REAL NICE.
140
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,448
UGH!
141
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:52,035
WHAT? THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.
142
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,207
SIT DOWN, LAURIE.
HAVE SOME RIBS.
143
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:01,586
MOM, YOU KNOW I'M ON MY
WATER AND YOGURT DIET.
144
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:02,921
OKAY.
145
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,256
WELL, ISN'T THIS NICE?
146
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,216
MY WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER...
147
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,510
MOSTLY.
148
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:11,388
HAVING FAMILY FUN, BECAUSE
THAT'S WHAT DINNER'S FOR,
149
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,640
RIGHT, RED?
150
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,601
OKAY.
151
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:21,189
[CLEARS THROAT] SO, ERIC...
152
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,112
WHAT HAPPENED IN SCHOOL TODAY?
153
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,614
WHY? WHAT'D YOU HEAR?
154
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,160
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
155
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,786
I CAN'T ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION?
156
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,330
RED, RED, YOU NEED
SOME POTATOES.
157
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,376
UM,
158
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,503
[CLEARS THROAT]
159
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:47,048
GOOD JOB ON RETURNING
THOSE BOOKS.
160
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,802
WELL, YEAH, I RETURNED
THE BOOKS.
161
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,138
EVEN THOUGH IT WAS
KIND OF STUPID.
162
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,473
WHAT?
163
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,600
HE SAID IT WAS STUPID, DADDY.
164
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,437
OKAY, OKAY. HA, HA, HA, HA.
165
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,399
ERIC, WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO THIS WEEKEND?
166
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,734
OH, ME AND THE GANG
ARE GOING TO CATCH
167
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,945
THAT WRESTLING MATCH IN KENOSHA.
168
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,656
OH, WELL, NOW,
ISN'T THAT SOMETHING?
169
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,700
BECAUSE A CERTAIN MR. RED FORMAN
170
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,661
USED TO WRESTLE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
171
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,955
NO, NO, NO.
WHAT I DID THEN WAS REAL.
172
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,999
THAT STUFF ON TV, THAT'S, UH,
173
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,667
THAT'S ALL AN ACT.
174
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,044
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
175
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,879
I BET IF THE TWO OF YOU
WENT TOGETHER,
176
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,631
YOU'D REALLY ENJOY YOURSELVES.
177
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,133
RIGHT, GUYS?
178
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,510
[PROTESTING]
179
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,137
[HITS TABLE] CLANK!
180
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,056
SO YOU'RE GOING.
181
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,225
[LAUGHS]
182
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,936
AND I THINK EVERYONE
HAS ROOM TO GROW,
183
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,522
BUT BOB IS PERFECTLY SATISFIED
184
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:46,316
AND SAYS JUST BEING HIS
WIFE SHOULD MAKE ME HAPPY.
185
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,653
MIDGE, LET ME STOP YOU
RIGHT THERE.
186
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,988
I KNOW WE'VE HAD
ONLY ONE SESSION,
187
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:53,949
BUT FROM WHAT I'M HEARING,
188
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,077
EVERYTHING YOU SAY
IS COMPLETELY RIGHT,
189
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,622
AND EVERYTHING BOB SAYS
IS COMPLETELY WRONG.
190
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,794
I THINK I'M GOING
TO LIKE THERAPY.
191
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,880
I THINK THERAPY'S
GOING TO LIKE YOU.
192
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,832
JACKIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
193
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,053
YOU HATE WRESTLING.
194
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,388
MICHAEL LIKES IT,
195
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:20,517
AND ANYTHING THAT MICHAEL LIKES,
I LIKE, BECAUSE I LIKE MICHAEL.
196
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,604
YEAH. THAT'S MY GIRL.
197
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,817
OH, BARF.
198
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,569
WATCH YOUR LEGS.
199
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:34,406
HEY, TAKING THE GANG TO
THE WRESTLING MATCHES, HUH?
200
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,782
AH.
201
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,576
I GUESS I'LL JUST SIT HOME
ALONE TONIGHT
202
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:41,496
SINCE MIDGE IS GOING
TO SOME THERAPY THING.
203
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,373
I'LL BE ALONE.
204
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,377
GET IN THE CAR, BOB.
205
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,131
ERIC, GIVE ME THE KEYS.
206
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,465
WHY CAN'T I DRIVE?
207
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,385
BECAUSE I WANT TO GET THERE
IN ONE PIECE.
208
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,137
HEY, CAN WE GET A MOVE ON, HUH?
209
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,847
IF I MISS THAT
20-MIDGET FREE-FOR-ALL,
210
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,725
I'M GOING TO BE SUPER PISSED.
211
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,812
FINE. YOU DRIVE.
212
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,939
RED.
213
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,274
[CLEARS THROAT]
214
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,151
YOU KNOW, ON SECOND THOUGHT, UH,
215
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,361
YOU SHOULD DRIVE.
216
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:17,532
AFTER ALL, TONIGHT I'M
JUST ONE OF THE GANG.
217
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,497
THIS ISN'T GOING
TO WORK, YOU KNOW.
218
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,625
WE'RE GOING TO KILL EACH OTHER.
219
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,251
WELL, FINE, KILL EACH OTHER.
220
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,378
JUST DO IT TOGETHER.
221
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:36,926
♪♪♪
222
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,304
BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL, ERIC.
223
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,766
TEN AND TWO. TEN AND TWO.
224
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,351
DAD, IF YOU WANT TO DRIVE...
225
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,935
NO, NO, NO. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
226
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:49,064
I'M JUST ONE OF THE GANG.
227
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:52,609
YIELD, DAMN IT.
THAT SIGN SAYS YIELD.
228
00:10:54,153 --> 00:11:01,951
♪♪♪
229
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,664
AH. THAT'S BETTER.
230
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,792
♪♪♪
231
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:15,340
♪ BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY,
BABY, BABY, OH! ♪
232
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:19,219
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
233
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,679
WHEN WE GET HOME TONIGHT,
YOU BETTER TELL YOUR MOTHER
234
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,556
WE HAD A DAMN GOOD TIME.
235
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,351
WELL, SO FAR, SO GOOD.
236
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,977
YEAH, YEAH.
237
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:30,021
AND NOW I GOT TO GO AND SPEND $2
238
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,649
FOR A 10-CENT BEER.
239
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,487
GEE, I'M SO GLAD OUR DADS CAME.
240
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,114
AT LEAST YOURS
IS LEAVING YOU ALONE.
241
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,074
YEAH.
242
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,035
POOR FEZ, HUH?
243
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,955
THERE I WAS,
SITTING IN THE KITCHEN,
244
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,748
SITTING IN THE KITCHEN,
WHEN BOOM!
245
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,376
SHE TELLS ME SHE NEEDS THERAPY.
246
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,212
YEAH, MIDGE AND I HAD
A BEAUTIFUL THING, FEZZY,
247
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:58,842
THEN IT ALL WENT WRONG.
248
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:02,220
YEAH, BOB, WOMEN ARE HELL.
249
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,888
WHY DON'T YOU GRAB US
ALL A BEER,
250
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,975
AND WE'LL TALK IT OVER?
251
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,351
I COULD GET YOU SODAS,
252
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,687
'CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE UNDER AGE.
253
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:17,485
BOB, THIS ISN'T ABOUT US,
IT'S ABOUT YOU.
254
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:20,363
AND YOU NEED FRIENDS.
255
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,282
AND BEER.
256
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,410
HEY, HOW STUPID
DO YOU THINK I AM?
257
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,329
WHY DON'T WE GRAB A BEER,
AND WE'LL TALK IT OVER?
258
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,166
AH.
259
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,835
NO.
260
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:37,630
WELL, THEN, BOB,
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
261
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,258
SEE HOW YOU DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY?
262
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,347
I'M TELLING YOU,
263
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:50,059
AFTER MY THERAPY SESSION,
I FELT SO LOOSE.
264
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,437
LOOSE IS GOOD.
265
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:56,065
IF YOU ASK ME, WE COULD ALL
DO WITH A LITTLE TIGHTENING.
266
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,694
AND... AND TONIGHT,
MY THERAPIST IS HOSTING
267
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,571
AN ENCOUNTER GROUP,
268
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,908
BUT I'M TOO SHY TO GO ALONE.
269
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,120
OH WELL. TOO BAD.
270
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,664
OH, KITTY, PLEASE COME WITH ME.
271
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:15,043
I DON'T THINK SO.
NO, THANK YOU, NO.
272
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,086
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS
IS A LOT LIKE?
273
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:19,714
LIKE WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO HELP
YOU HOST THE BAKE SALE.
274
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:24,969
ONLY IT'S DIFFERENT,
BECAUSE I SAID YES.
275
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,429
ALL RIGHT.
276
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,181
OH, GREAT.
277
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,809
IT'S A GATHERING OF
SOULS-IN-PROGRESS
278
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,310
OVER DRINKS.
279
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,313
FREE DRINKS? I'M IN.
280
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,689
OH, THAT'S NICE.
281
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,609
THAT'S MUSIC TO A MOTHER'S EARS.
282
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:43,988
OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
283
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,865
OKAY, YOU SEE THE GUY
GETTING IN THE RING?
284
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,826
THAT'S ROCKY JOHNSON.
285
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,619
MAN, HE'S THE BEST.
286
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,579
[AUDIENCE] OOH!
287
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:54,374
THE BEST?
288
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,460
THEY'RE NOT EVEN FIGHTERS.
I MEAN, THESE ARE ALL TRICKS.
289
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,712
I COULD GET UP THERE
RIGHT NOW AND...
290
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,047
[THUD]
291
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,382
HOT DAMN.
292
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,050
HE DROPPED THAT GUY
RIGHT ON HIS HEAD.
293
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,511
YEAH!
294
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,682
♪♪♪
295
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,183
THIS IS WHERE I GOT HIM.
296
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,686
HE AIN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE.
297
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,189
AAH.
298
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:21,818
OHH. OHH.
299
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:30,611
♪♪♪
300
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:50,471
ONE, TWO, THREE. THE WINNER.
301
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:51,973
GET OFF ME.
302
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,183
I'M THE WINNER HERE.
303
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,479
MAN.
304
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,398
IT'S HOT IN HERE, HUH?
305
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,318
[GASPS] YOU POOR THING.
306
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,612
IS THAT BETTER, SWEETIE?
307
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,197
OH, YEAH.
308
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:10,283
JACKIE, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
309
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,369
YEAH, YEAH, SURE.
MICHAEL, IS IT OKAY... OW!
310
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,499
JACKIE, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING
ON BETWEEN YOU AND KELSO?
311
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:22,462
LOOK, MICHAEL KELSO AND I
HAVE MADE BEAUTIFUL LOVE.
312
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,923
EWW!
313
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,674
I MEAN...
314
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:30,011
NO, EWW.
315
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,138
WHY ARE YOU BEING
SUCH A DOORMAT?
316
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,474
LOOK, I HAVE TO BE NICE.
317
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,184
WHAT IF HE GETS BORED NOW?
318
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,518
BORED?
319
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:41,022
JACKIE, HE'S GOING TO WANT
TO DO IT AGAIN.
320
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,609
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS
I'M TOTALLY IN CHARGE.
321
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,977
WELL, I MEAN, A PARTNERSHIP...
322
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,445
NO, NO, NO. I OWN HIM.
323
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:48,947
I'M THE MAN.
324
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,281
WELL, JACKIE...
325
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,408
NO, NO. THANK YOU, DONNA.
326
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,081
GOOD EVENING, SIR.
327
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:00,917
I WOULD LIKE A REFRESHING
COLA, PLEASE.
328
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:05,088
[FEZ IN DEEP VOICE]
AND GET ME A BEER, SON.
329
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,591
OKAY, DAD. SURE.
330
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,928
AND A BEER FOR MY DAD.
331
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,310
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ME
THAT BEER, ARE YOU?
332
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:24,565
WHAT SEEMS TO BE
THE PROBLEM, SON?
333
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,291
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DON'T JUST SIT THERE.
334
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,119
GET UP, YOU BIG BAD MOOSE.
335
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:37,870
LOOK, HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU.
336
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:42,083
I GIVE AND I GIVE AND I GIVE.
337
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,793
OH, BOO-HOO.
338
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:46,546
GET BACK IN THE RING.
339
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,974
HEY, THIS IS FUN.
340
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,059
HEY, ROCKY JOHNSON.
341
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,853
HEY, MR. JOHNSON, SIR,
MAY I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
342
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,980
AARRRGH!
343
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,775
ERIC, GO IN THERE
AND GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH.
344
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,694
NO WAY, DAD.
THE SIGN SAYS WRESTLERS ONLY.
345
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,112
SO?
346
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,948
SO, THAT'S A RULE.
347
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,992
AS I REMEMBER, A GREAT MAN
ONCE SAID TO ME,
348
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,535
IF WE WERE TO BREAK THE RULES,
349
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:18,903
THE WORLD WOULD JUST BE FILLED
350
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,706
WITH TREE-CLIMBING
CRAP-FLINGERS.
351
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,541
YEAH.
352
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,876
NOW FOLLOW ME.
353
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,170
YOU WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH OR NOT?
354
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,219
THERE HE IS.
355
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,027
MR. JOHNSON, YOU GAVE
THAT TEAM OF MIDGETS
356
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,890
AN ASS-WHOOPING, SIR.
357
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,349
YOU PILE DRIVE A LITTLE GUY,
358
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,143
AND THE WHOLE CROWD
TURNS ON YOU,
359
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,478
AND THEN WHEN
YOU'RE STANDING THERE
360
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,045
WONDERING WHAT
THEY'RE BOOING ABOUT,
361
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,731
YOU GET BIT ON THE KNEECAPS.
362
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:50,026
LOOK AT MY KNEES. MIDGET BITES.
363
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:53,362
I WONDER IF YOU'D MIND, UH,
GIVING MY SON AN AUTOGRAPH.
364
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,906
NO.
365
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,909
NO AUTOGRAPHS.
366
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,162
LOOK, PAL, I MIGHT BE
THE ONLY GUY IN HERE
367
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:04,248
WHO'S ACTUALLY KILLED A MAN.
368
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,501
GIVE THE KID AN AUTOGRAPH,
369
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:09,712
AND THEN NO MORE AUTOGRAPHS.
370
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,172
THAT'S REALLY NICE,
371
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,882
BRINGING YOUR KID
TO A WRESTLING MATCH.
372
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,217
YOU KNOW, I GOT A SON,
373
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,010
AND ONE DAY HE'S GOING TO BECOME
374
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:21,933
THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN
IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT.
375
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,143
YEAH, WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
376
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:27,355
UH, CAN YOU MAKE
THAT OUT TO RED FORMAN?
377
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,815
NO, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
378
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,149
UM, IT'S ERIC FORMAN.
379
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:31,818
CAPITAL E-R-l-C...
380
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,778
YEAH, BUT SEE,
HIS NICKNAME IS RED.
381
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,655
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S ERIC.
382
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,991
STOP KIDDING AROUND, RED.
383
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,538
YOU KNOW, BABE, A SODA
WOULD TASTE PRETTY GOOD
384
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,373
RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
385
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:46,707
YEAH, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
386
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,075
A SODA DOES SOUND PRETTY GOOD.
387
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,377
I'LL HAVE A DIET.
388
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,338
YEAH, I'LL HAVE A ROOT BEER.
389
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,844
OH, DON'T YOU WANT
TO GO GET IT FOR ME?
390
00:18:58,011 --> 00:18:59,470
SWEETIE?
391
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:04,016
OKAY, LET ME CLEAR IT UP
FOR YOU, HMM?
392
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:10,022
GET... ME... A SODA. NOW!
393
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,319
DID YOU SEE THAT? I'M THE MAN.
394
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,924
IT ALL STARTED
ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO
395
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:40,845
WHEN MIDGY GOT A SUBSCRIPTION
TO COSMO.
396
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,641
THESE GROUP SESSIONS
ARE ABOUT TESTING
397
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:50,021
YOUR BOUNDARIES,
LOSING YOUR INHIBITIONS,
398
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:53,399
REALLY SHARING WITH THE GROUP.
399
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,693
KITTY, ARE YOU READY?
400
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,696
OH, UM, WELL...
401
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,198
SHARE A LITTLE, MOM.
402
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,533
TELL US HOW FOLDING THE DISH
TOWELS JUST RIGHT MAKES
403
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:06,787
ALL OUR PROBLEMS GO AWAY.
404
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,292
YOU WANT ME TO SHARE?
405
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,419
OKAY.
406
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,715
LAURIE, YOU'RE MEAN
TO YOUR BROTHER,
407
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,884
AND YOU'RE SCREWING
AROUND AT COLLEGE.
408
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,510
WE DON'T EVEN SEE YOU
UNLESS YOU'VE RUN OUT
409
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,721
OF CLEAN CLOTHES OR NEED CASH.
410
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:27,308
THE FACT IS, YOU'RE
AN UNGRATEFUL, SPOILED BRAT.
411
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:36,234
WELL, THANK YOU. THAT WAS NICE.
412
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,237
I LOVE YOU, HONEY.
413
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:43,783
WELL, I HOPE WE'RE ALL AS
EXCITED ABOUT THIS JOURNEY
414
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,868
AS I AM.
415
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:48,079
LET'S PAIR OFF.
416
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,333
OKAY, OKAY.
417
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,085
I DON'T GET IT, KITTY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
418
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,173
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON.
HE'S A BAD DOCTOR.
419
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,881
A VERY, VERY BAD DOCTOR.
420
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,772
HEY, DAD, THANKS FOR
LETTING ME DRIVE HOME.
421
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,887
THANKS FOR NOT KILLING ME.
422
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,808
YOU KNOW, I JUST HAD
A LOT OF FUN TONIGHT
423
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,476
WITH YOU, DAD.
424
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:13,271
YEAH, ME TOO.
425
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,481
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
426
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,066
OH, YOU WANT SOME, HUH?
427
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,567
YEAH, I WANT TO HAVE A PIECE.
428
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:19,902
HUH? HUH?
429
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,237
WHOA.
430
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,364
AHH.
431
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:28,911
YES!
432
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:32,206
WHO'S THE KING? WHO'S THE KING?
433
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:34,292
OW. AH.
434
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,502
MY NECK. OH.
435
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,962
GOSH, DAD, I'M SORRY.
436
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,297
I'M SO SORRY.
437
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,048
LOOK, I HAD NO IDE...
438
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:45,720
AHH.
439
00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:49,682
NOW WHO'S THE KING, HUH?
440
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,809
YOU ARE.
441
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,896
MM-HMM.
442
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:57,732
AND IT TURNED OUT THIS
THERAPIST WAS JUST OBSESSED
443
00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,484
WITH SEX.
444
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,653
AND THIS IS A REALLY
DIFFICULT TIME FOR ME.
445
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,363
THE LAST THING I NEED
IS A DOCTOR
446
00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:06,824
WHO DOESN'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.
447
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,493
I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE
I CAN TALK TO,
448
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:11,537
SOMEONE WHO'LL REALLY LISTEN.
449
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,623
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING
450
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:18,044
SO... DO YOU WANT TO GO
TO A PARTY?
451
00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:21,505
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
452
00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,341
OKAY.
453
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:27,188
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT
PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
30277
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof