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South Park - Season 11 Episode 7
"Night of the Living Homeless"
2
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All right, this time, it's
me and Kenny versus you two assholes.
3
00:00:36,289 --> 00:00:37,289
Fine.
4
00:00:37,409 --> 00:00:40,259
Oh, dude,
what's with all the homeless people?
5
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,360
Sir, could you move a little, please?
6
00:00:45,497 --> 00:00:46,897
Spare some change?
7
00:00:47,087 --> 00:00:48,934
Aw, dude, he smells like Kenny's house.
8
00:00:49,084 --> 00:00:50,149
Get out of here!
9
00:00:50,299 --> 00:00:53,799
You guys, that's not cool.
These people have nowhere to go.
10
00:00:55,692 --> 00:00:58,298
They don't have food or shelter.
We have to do something.
11
00:00:58,448 --> 00:01:01,608
- Well dude, what are we supposed to do?
- (Yeah, what are we supposed to do?)
12
00:01:01,663 --> 00:01:04,763
No, Kyle's right, you guys.
We should do something.
13
00:01:05,079 --> 00:01:06,310
- Really?
- Yeah.
14
00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:08,580
I know what you're thinking,
Kyle, and I'm with you.
15
00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:10,741
I know exactly what we should do.
16
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Gather 'round and witness
the glory as Eric Cartman
17
00:01:15,739 --> 00:01:18,618
attempts to jump his
skateboard over the homeless.
18
00:01:18,768 --> 00:01:21,118
Thank you, thank you. The ramp ready?
19
00:01:21,763 --> 00:01:23,213
Yeah, it's all set.
20
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- He won't make it.
- Excuse me,
21
00:01:25,402 --> 00:01:27,405
this isn't exactly what I had in mind!
22
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All right, here we go!
23
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Jimmy?
24
00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:43,932
Yes! I did it!
I jumped over the homeless! Yes!
25
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- (Yehes!)
- That was a sweet idea, Kyle.
26
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Goddamnit, that wasn't my idea!
27
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All right, people,
we need to come up with answers.
28
00:01:51,604 --> 00:01:55,854
There are homeless sprouting up all
over town. What are we supposed to do?
29
00:01:56,895 --> 00:02:00,573
- Well, I, I short of had an idea.
- Please, Mr. Valmor.
30
00:02:00,756 --> 00:02:04,534
We could give the homeless all
designer sleeping bags and makeovers.
31
00:02:04,684 --> 00:02:07,596
At least that way they'd
be pleasant to look at.
32
00:02:07,746 --> 00:02:09,546
Oh, that's a good one.
Good idea. I like it.
33
00:02:09,677 --> 00:02:11,177
Well I was thinking:
34
00:02:11,791 --> 00:02:14,191
We could turn the homeless into tires,
35
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so that we'd still have homeless,
but we could use them, on our cars.
36
00:02:18,057 --> 00:02:19,857
- Ohh, that's a good one.
- Nice one, Randy.
37
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,425
- Like it.
- That's like recycling.
38
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:26,302
All right, enough! I find this whole
conversation to be extremely offensive!
39
00:02:26,603 --> 00:02:30,780
The homeless aren't monsters,
they are people, like you and me!
40
00:02:32,343 --> 00:02:35,222
You mean they've adapted,
copied our DNA.
41
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Excuse me. I am the top researcher
of homeless studies for Park County.
42
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I don't know why more homeless people
are showing up in town, but I do know...
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that we must be extremely careful.
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If we give them anything,
there could be more.
45
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46
00:03:06,038 --> 00:03:07,038
Hi.
47
00:03:07,935 --> 00:03:11,385
I've uh... I've been saving
up for a new Xbox game but...
48
00:03:11,496 --> 00:03:15,046
but I think you could use
the money a lot more than I could.
49
00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:18,407
Listen I, I want you to take this.
It's twenty dollars.
50
00:03:21,048 --> 00:03:22,198
Got any more?
51
00:03:24,393 --> 00:03:26,757
No, that... I thought that was a lot.
52
00:03:29,104 --> 00:03:30,702
Spare any change??
53
00:03:33,415 --> 00:03:34,665
You're welcome.
54
00:03:48,444 --> 00:03:49,444
Oh crap.
55
00:03:52,109 --> 00:03:54,951
Dude, what are all these homeless
people doing in front of your house?
56
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,764
- I don't know.
- There's a bunch outside my house too.
57
00:03:57,814 --> 00:03:59,660
Spare any change, sir?
58
00:03:59,927 --> 00:04:01,077
No! Fuck off!
59
00:04:01,738 --> 00:04:02,738
I don't get it.
60
00:04:02,788 --> 00:04:05,311
My Dad said as long as nobody
gave them money, they'd move on.
61
00:04:05,361 --> 00:04:07,145
- He did?
- Well this is bullcrap!
62
00:04:07,295 --> 00:04:08,823
Somebody has to be responsible!
63
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:12,077
Well, I... kind of gave a homeless
guy twenty dollars last night.
64
00:04:12,182 --> 00:04:13,182
You what??
65
00:04:13,232 --> 00:04:15,155
Oh come on,
that can't be why they're all here.
66
00:04:15,205 --> 00:04:16,562
There has to be another reason.
67
00:04:16,612 --> 00:04:18,809
- Kyle, what were you thinking?
- Yeah!
68
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:22,704
I can't possibly jump these
many homeless people! I won't risk it!
69
00:04:22,754 --> 00:04:25,167
I could jump two homeless people,
maybe three,
70
00:04:25,217 --> 00:04:28,346
but asking me to jump this many
is asking me to risk my life, Kyle!
71
00:04:28,396 --> 00:04:30,312
I don't want you to jump them, retard!
72
00:04:32,807 --> 00:04:36,257
- Spare some change?
- No, sorry, I don't have any change.
73
00:04:38,049 --> 00:04:40,395
- Got any change?
- No, sorry.
74
00:04:41,976 --> 00:04:43,776
Can you spare some change?
75
00:04:45,888 --> 00:04:47,020
Chaaange?
76
00:04:47,719 --> 00:04:49,419
I don't have any change.
77
00:04:49,883 --> 00:04:51,413
- Change?
- No!
78
00:04:52,029 --> 00:04:53,144
Change?
79
00:04:55,374 --> 00:04:56,838
Spare some change?
80
00:04:56,888 --> 00:04:58,852
Leave me alone I don't have any change!
81
00:04:58,902 --> 00:05:00,902
All right, God bless you, sir.
82
00:05:00,981 --> 00:05:02,731
Oh, now I feel bad. Here!
83
00:05:04,759 --> 00:05:07,473
Change? Change? Change?
84
00:05:07,523 --> 00:05:09,718
Nono, that was really
all the change I had.
85
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,168
Spare some change?
86
00:05:11,383 --> 00:05:12,915
I just gave you change!
87
00:05:12,965 --> 00:05:14,262
Change?
88
00:05:14,429 --> 00:05:18,357
Change? Change?
Spare some change? Change?
89
00:05:19,521 --> 00:05:20,786
Change? Spare Change?
90
00:05:20,836 --> 00:05:22,646
I don't have any more change!
91
00:05:22,696 --> 00:05:25,745
Spare any change? All right, God bless.
92
00:05:25,795 --> 00:05:28,508
Noo!! I don't have any change!!
93
00:05:29,039 --> 00:05:32,068
I don't have any chaaange!!
94
00:05:34,089 --> 00:05:36,037
Okay, that'll be great.
Let's also make sure
95
00:05:36,087 --> 00:05:40,087
we have enough chairs in the
community center for everyone to attend.
96
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,907
Stay away! Stay awayhay!
97
00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:47,387
Randy? Randy, what happened?
98
00:05:47,753 --> 00:05:53,778
Stay awa- ...I don't have any change!
I don't have any chaaaahahange!
99
00:05:55,758 --> 00:05:59,619
This is a News 5 Special Bulletin,
with Chris Swollenballs.
100
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South Park has become
overrun with the homeless.
101
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Nearly every square inch of public
property is now riddled with homeless,
102
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shutting down roadways and
making getting around impossible.
103
00:06:09,454 --> 00:06:12,204
Many people are trapped
throughout the town.
104
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:15,097
Help! Help us!
105
00:06:15,463 --> 00:06:18,076
- Dude, it's our dads.
- Oh my God.
106
00:06:18,442 --> 00:06:22,153
In the meantime, South Park citizens
are being advised to stay indoors
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and protect their change.
108
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:25,983
Spare some change?
109
00:06:26,413 --> 00:06:28,463
What the? You can't be in here.
110
00:06:28,544 --> 00:06:30,194
Ya got any change, sir?
111
00:06:30,392 --> 00:06:33,137
No I don't have any change.
How did he get in here?
112
00:06:33,187 --> 00:06:35,318
Chaaaaange?
113
00:06:35,734 --> 00:06:40,058
No, please. I don't have any change.
Honest I don't. I don't have any-
114
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,402
115
00:06:44,057 --> 00:06:45,355
You see what you did, Kyle?!
116
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,555
Come on, we have to try
and help our stupid parents.
117
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,649
They're everywhere!
118
00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:54,295
What are you boys doing? Get in.
119
00:06:56,555 --> 00:06:58,153
Spare any change, sir?
120
00:06:58,203 --> 00:06:59,603
Come on, let's go!
121
00:07:01,565 --> 00:07:03,379
What the hell were you doing outside?!
122
00:07:03,429 --> 00:07:05,542
Our parents are stuck
on top of a building in town.
123
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:09,095
You aren't getting into town! It's
completely overrun with these... things.
124
00:07:13,398 --> 00:07:18,009
No! I don't need my windshield cleaned!
Stop it! Stop iiit!
125
00:07:19,555 --> 00:07:20,776
Look, our only hope
126
00:07:20,835 --> 00:07:23,333
is to talk to the homeless
researcher out on Travis Street.
127
00:07:23,383 --> 00:07:27,783
He understands what's goin' on better
than anybody. Just stick with me, kids.
128
00:07:35,415 --> 00:07:37,512
- Holy shit, dude!
- Over here!
129
00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:40,550
Jump down! Go!
130
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:46,041
Aw God, it really smells
like Kenny's house down here.
131
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,971
(Dude, shut the fuck up about my house!)
132
00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:50,851
Whoa, Kenny, relax dude.
We need to work together.
133
00:07:50,901 --> 00:07:53,390
Come on, we gotta get
to that scientist's house.
134
00:07:54,752 --> 00:08:00,360
Change? Change? Change? Change?
135
00:08:01,457 --> 00:08:03,207
Spare some change?
136
00:08:05,398 --> 00:08:07,186
No sign of anybody else.
137
00:08:07,634 --> 00:08:09,847
That's it.
I'm gonna make a break for it.
138
00:08:09,897 --> 00:08:13,375
Don't be crazy, Gerald. You'll never
get through all those homeless people.
139
00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:16,825
And even if you did, what then?
You can't drive anywhere.
140
00:08:17,169 --> 00:08:20,097
If I can make it through them,
maybe I can catch the bus to Fairplay.
141
00:08:20,147 --> 00:08:21,347
I have to try.
142
00:08:21,554 --> 00:08:23,754
You won't make it through, Gerald!
143
00:08:28,586 --> 00:08:31,599
Change? Spare some change?
144
00:08:34,228 --> 00:08:35,678
Change, sir?
145
00:08:35,893 --> 00:08:37,393
You got some change?
146
00:08:37,924 --> 00:08:39,237
Don't have any change...
147
00:08:39,287 --> 00:08:42,150
Change? Spare some change? Change?
148
00:08:42,383 --> 00:08:43,698
Don't have any change...
149
00:08:43,748 --> 00:08:45,462
Change? Change?
150
00:08:45,595 --> 00:08:48,195
Damnit! All right,
you want change? Here.
151
00:08:48,683 --> 00:08:49,982
There! There's some change.
152
00:08:50,032 --> 00:08:53,332
All right, a little bit.
There you go. Take the change.
153
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,496
Oh wait. Wait, now I don't
have any change left for the bus.
154
00:08:57,546 --> 00:09:00,034
Hold on. Can I just get
back some of that change, please?
155
00:09:00,234 --> 00:09:01,234
Change, sir?
156
00:09:01,284 --> 00:09:03,971
Can I have just a little
change for the bus, please?
157
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,771
I need a little...
anybody have some change?
158
00:09:07,450 --> 00:09:09,100
Change? Got any change?
159
00:09:10,295 --> 00:09:12,359
Change. Change?
160
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:16,555
What happened?
161
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,620
He's become one of them.
162
00:09:23,627 --> 00:09:29,883
Change? Change? Change? Change?
163
00:09:34,929 --> 00:09:36,829
Go away, I, I don't have any change.
164
00:09:36,879 --> 00:09:38,721
Are you the head of Homeless Studies?
165
00:09:38,771 --> 00:09:40,121
Yes. Who are you?
166
00:09:40,285 --> 00:09:42,002
We think this may be our friend's fault.
167
00:09:42,052 --> 00:09:44,212
He gave one of the homeless
twenty dollars yesterday-
168
00:09:44,262 --> 00:09:46,026
Oh my God. Get in here!
169
00:09:47,243 --> 00:09:48,381
Tell me what's going on?
170
00:09:48,431 --> 00:09:50,671
There's a bunch of people
trapped in the middle of town
171
00:09:50,721 --> 00:09:52,841
surrounded by homeless people.
We can't get to them.
172
00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:54,123
All right, all right, look!
173
00:09:54,173 --> 00:09:57,295
I didn't wanna risk it, but...
I think I know what to do.
174
00:09:57,345 --> 00:10:00,225
I'll try to jump all those homeless
and get to the people on that roof.
175
00:10:00,275 --> 00:10:02,447
- Jump them?
- I jump the homeless professionally.
176
00:10:02,497 --> 00:10:03,737
If you can get me a skateboard,
177
00:10:03,787 --> 00:10:06,190
I'll try to jump that homeless
crowd and save those people.
178
00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:08,831
Oh, shut up, Cartman. All you
did was jump over one homeless guy.
179
00:10:08,832 --> 00:10:10,952
I easily could have cleared
another thirty or forty.
180
00:10:10,953 --> 00:10:12,484
You barely made it over one, fatass!
181
00:10:12,536 --> 00:10:13,536
Kyle, enough!
182
00:10:13,586 --> 00:10:16,586
Cartman jumping more homeless people
isn't gonna solve anything right now!
183
00:10:16,587 --> 00:10:17,843
God-damnit!
184
00:10:17,944 --> 00:10:20,607
- I don't want him to jump over more a-
- Boys! Boys!
185
00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:23,703
I don't think you quite understand
how the homeless function.
186
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:26,003
Perhaps you should come downstairs.
187
00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:27,481
To my laboratory.
188
00:10:31,645 --> 00:10:34,495
Got some change?
Change? Got some change, sir?
189
00:10:34,803 --> 00:10:37,799
We don't have any change!! Go away!!
190
00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,513
Anything, Steven?
191
00:10:39,563 --> 00:10:42,313
No. All the phone lines
are completely down.
192
00:10:51,448 --> 00:10:55,792
Hello? Ih-it's Steve Garrett
from the library. Pu-please let us in.
193
00:10:56,557 --> 00:10:58,722
Find another place to hide, Steve!
194
00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:00,498
I, I have others with me.
195
00:11:00,548 --> 00:11:03,251
We have nowhere else to go.
One woman here is pregnant.
196
00:11:03,301 --> 00:11:05,052
We can't just leave them out there.
197
00:11:05,102 --> 00:11:07,880
Let us in!
For God's sake, they're coming!
198
00:11:07,930 --> 00:11:10,351
No! No, I'm sorry,
we don't have any change.
199
00:11:10,401 --> 00:11:12,194
You have to let them in, Randy.
200
00:11:12,244 --> 00:11:14,690
There isn't enough food
for more people up here!
201
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:17,428
Oh God. One of them is a war veteran.
202
00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:19,455
We're gonna have
to give him some change.
203
00:11:19,505 --> 00:11:23,005
- This isn't happening!
- All right all right, fine!
204
00:11:27,664 --> 00:11:29,814
Could you spare some change, sir?
205
00:11:33,412 --> 00:11:37,063
I've dissected several homeless
to see what make them tick.
206
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,787
Their anatomy is
shockingly similar to ours.
207
00:11:39,837 --> 00:11:43,013
See? Everything is there:
heart, lungs, kidneys,
208
00:11:43,063 --> 00:11:46,013
they're almost identical
to us in every way.
209
00:11:46,251 --> 00:11:47,988
Except for one.
210
00:11:51,136 --> 00:11:55,488
The homeless...
can survive solely... on change.
211
00:11:56,493 --> 00:11:57,603
Change?
212
00:11:57,653 --> 00:12:01,403
They feed on our change. They
need it in order to keep them moving.
213
00:12:01,453 --> 00:12:03,199
Is that... is that some spare change?
214
00:12:03,249 --> 00:12:06,136
Somehow they're able to take...
our change...
215
00:12:06,186 --> 00:12:08,238
and turn it into nourishment,
sustenance.
216
00:12:08,288 --> 00:12:11,338
- Spare some of that change, sir?
- But now watch.
217
00:12:14,289 --> 00:12:15,839
Spare some change?
218
00:12:16,974 --> 00:12:20,624
It has already completely
forgotten that I've given it change.
219
00:12:20,893 --> 00:12:23,726
It just wants... more, change.
220
00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:25,895
Look over here.
221
00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:30,102
This one I've kept deprived
of change for over three days.
222
00:12:30,152 --> 00:12:32,048
Chaaaaange?
223
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,379
- What's it doing?
- It's dying.
224
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,480
Coool.
225
00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:37,709
I've learned that the
nearby city of Evergreen
226
00:12:37,759 --> 00:12:40,030
had a homeless problem
just before we did.
227
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,080
And they were able to stop it.
228
00:12:42,411 --> 00:12:43,420
Excuse me,
229
00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:46,341
the front door was open.
Can I borrow some change?
230
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:49,179
Change! Change!
231
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,356
Oh my God, they're coming in!
232
00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:54,756
Quick kids, get out of here!
You can fit!
233
00:12:54,999 --> 00:12:56,700
- What about you?
- Get to Evergreen
234
00:12:56,850 --> 00:12:59,574
and find out how they got rid
of the homeless! I'll be all right!
235
00:12:59,724 --> 00:13:01,415
Eh! Stop pushing, Kenny.
236
00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:05,074
Hello? I, I'm sorry, I just
really need some change for the bus?
237
00:13:05,124 --> 00:13:07,475
Change? Spare some change? Change?
238
00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,709
Stop it! I really do need change!
239
00:13:09,759 --> 00:13:11,431
Me too. Change?
240
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:13,706
Change? Hello?
241
00:13:13,964 --> 00:13:16,853
- Do you have any change?
- Chaaange?
242
00:13:17,136 --> 00:13:19,886
Sorry to take the easy way out.
243
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:26,095
Fuck!!
244
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:31,720
God!!
245
00:13:52,543 --> 00:13:55,629
Change? Change? You got change?
246
00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:58,383
No. No, damnit!
247
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,542
That's it. That's it, everyone.
248
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:04,038
We're out of Pop--Tarts.
249
00:14:04,088 --> 00:14:07,457
- No. We can't be.
- Face it, we're gonna starve!
250
00:14:07,507 --> 00:14:09,428
No, no wait,
there's still a box over here.
251
00:14:09,478 --> 00:14:11,457
Those are cherry! Ich!
252
00:14:11,507 --> 00:14:13,756
Wait, I got a signal! I got a signal.
253
00:14:13,806 --> 00:14:15,624
What? You do? How?
254
00:14:15,674 --> 00:14:18,724
- Call the fire department.
- I'm calling my wife!
255
00:14:19,413 --> 00:14:21,305
Mary. Mary baby, are you all right?
256
00:14:21,355 --> 00:14:24,176
- Oh, maybe we're gonna be okay.
- Ask her what's happening.
257
00:14:24,226 --> 00:14:28,076
Mary, what's goin' on out there?
Nobody's coming for us.
258
00:14:28,713 --> 00:14:33,446
They what? No! That's impossible.
But how can that be? We didn't even-
259
00:14:34,184 --> 00:14:36,581
Hello? Mary. Mary!
260
00:14:36,938 --> 00:14:38,265
What happened, Glen?
261
00:14:38,315 --> 00:14:42,665
There's no help coming! She said...
because of all the homeless...
262
00:14:43,922 --> 00:14:47,130
because of all the homeless in South
Park property values have plummeted.
263
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:51,089
I had two liens against my
house and so the bank is foreclosing!
264
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:53,039
I don't have a home anymore.
265
00:14:56,232 --> 00:15:00,032
- Randy, what are you doing?
- He's homeless now. We aren't safe.
266
00:15:00,110 --> 00:15:01,475
I'm not like them.
267
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,908
Not yet. It's only a matter of time.
268
00:15:03,958 --> 00:15:06,618
And what are you gonna do, huh?
Just blow his head off?
269
00:15:06,668 --> 00:15:09,059
If we have to!! Siddown Glen!
270
00:15:09,145 --> 00:15:13,079
- Randy, you can't just-
- Sit... doowwwnnnn!
271
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,720
This is crazy.
How can they just take away my house?
272
00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:19,474
Where am I supposed
to put all my things?
273
00:15:19,475 --> 00:15:22,675
I don't have a place for all my stuff;
where am I supposed to put all my stuff?
274
00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:23,957
I'll need to pay for storage.
275
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:26,288
Can I borrow some- money
to put my stuff in storage?
276
00:15:26,338 --> 00:15:28,857
Come on guys. If you all
just help me out a little bit.
277
00:15:28,907 --> 00:15:31,715
Each one of you just
put in a little... change?
278
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:32,915
Change?
279
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,774
What the hell happened here?
280
00:15:48,824 --> 00:15:50,594
That's far enough!
281
00:15:50,644 --> 00:15:53,385
Just march your butts
right back out of our town!
282
00:15:53,435 --> 00:15:55,367
We, just came to ask a question.
283
00:15:55,417 --> 00:15:57,317
You homeless or homeowners?
284
00:15:57,569 --> 00:15:58,595
We're nine.
285
00:15:58,645 --> 00:16:02,173
Yeah? Well that makes you homeless,
so get out of here before you die!
286
00:16:02,223 --> 00:16:04,562
Look, we just need help
with our own homeless problem.
287
00:16:04,612 --> 00:16:07,132
Yeah. This Jew here made
them take over our town.
288
00:16:07,182 --> 00:16:08,732
Shut up, Cartman!
289
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,100
Cartman?
290
00:16:10,883 --> 00:16:12,088
Eric Cartman?
291
00:16:13,023 --> 00:16:16,773
The kid who jumped thirty
homeless people on a skateboard?
292
00:16:18,035 --> 00:16:20,460
- Youu heard about that?
- Heard about it?
293
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:23,716
They said you could have easily
cleared fifty homeless with that jump.
294
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:25,086
Thirty was hard enough.
295
00:16:25,136 --> 00:16:28,082
Oh God! It wasn't thirty, it was one!
296
00:16:28,132 --> 00:16:30,863
He jumped over one homeless
person with his stupid skateboard,
297
00:16:30,913 --> 00:16:32,446
and he barely made it over that guy!
298
00:16:32,526 --> 00:16:33,526
Kyle, knock it off!
299
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,936
We're here to find out how
to get rid of the homeless, not
300
00:16:35,937 --> 00:16:38,897
how many homeless Cartman can jump!
- Please, we just want you to tell us
301
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,698
how you got rid of
the homeless in your town.
302
00:16:41,754 --> 00:16:44,108
Well, that was easy.
303
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:51,565
The homeless first started arriving
in Evergreen about three months ago.
304
00:16:51,615 --> 00:16:53,184
At first there were only a few of them,
305
00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:56,122
askin' for change,
sleeping in the parks.
306
00:16:56,172 --> 00:16:58,022
But then more showed up,
307
00:16:58,079 --> 00:17:00,750
and we realized there was
somethin' different about them.
308
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,687
They fed off of our change to the point
309
00:17:02,737 --> 00:17:05,787
that they could actually
start renting apartments.
310
00:17:06,417 --> 00:17:10,657
We knew it wouldn't be long before the
homeless actually started buying homes.
311
00:17:10,707 --> 00:17:14,219
And then we'd have no idea
who was homeless and who wasn't!
312
00:17:14,269 --> 00:17:16,429
The people living in the
house right next door to you
313
00:17:16,479 --> 00:17:19,180
could be homeless and
you wouldn't even know!
314
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:22,893
Nobody could trust anybody!
Fights broke out. War!
315
00:17:22,943 --> 00:17:26,344
That's when I started
suspecting that my own wife,
316
00:17:26,394 --> 00:17:30,690
who I'd been living with for
twenty years, was actually homeless.
317
00:17:30,740 --> 00:17:34,197
So I had to burn her.
In her bed while she slept.
318
00:17:34,247 --> 00:17:38,375
After she died I vowed I wouldn't
let the homeless destroy our town!
319
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:42,525
So we came up with a plan
to get rid of them once and for all.
320
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:46,107
321
00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:48,561
You son of a bitch.
322
00:17:48,611 --> 00:17:50,642
You didn't solve your homeless problem,
323
00:17:50,692 --> 00:17:53,594
you just sent all your
homeless to South Park!
324
00:17:53,644 --> 00:17:54,909
That's right, yes.
325
00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,668
- What?
- I knew it!
326
00:17:56,718 --> 00:17:58,881
It wasn't because I gave
that guy twenty dollars!
327
00:17:58,931 --> 00:18:00,743
The homeless all came from here!
328
00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:02,993
And it was Texas who sent them to us!
329
00:18:03,043 --> 00:18:05,207
People in San Antonio
got rid of their homeless
330
00:18:05,257 --> 00:18:07,688
by tellin' them what
a great place Evergreen was!
331
00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:10,249
But then you didn't solve the problem,
you just moved it!
332
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:12,437
Right. But we survived.
333
00:18:14,048 --> 00:18:16,310
Dehhhnyihhhs!
334
00:18:18,646 --> 00:18:19,696
Christine!
335
00:18:19,752 --> 00:18:23,871
You sonothatitch! You tried to kinn me!
336
00:18:24,459 --> 00:18:26,662
I had to, Christine, you were homeless.
337
00:18:26,712 --> 00:18:29,985
No, I wasn't honeless
yeh stukid asshole!
338
00:18:30,268 --> 00:18:32,481
Christine, I can't understand you.
339
00:18:32,531 --> 00:18:35,580
Yeah! Gecause you durned my yits oth!
340
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,620
I nurned your rip sauce?
341
00:18:37,670 --> 00:18:41,150
No! You durned my yits oth!
342
00:18:41,691 --> 00:18:43,400
I have no idea what you're saying!
343
00:18:51,687 --> 00:18:54,218
Dude, our parents are
just as stupid as these people,
344
00:18:54,268 --> 00:18:56,210
our town is gonna end up just like this!
345
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,610
No it isn't. Come on, I have an idea.
346
00:18:58,707 --> 00:19:01,829
No no no, we're not having Cartman
jump any more homeless people, Kyle!
347
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,053
That isn't my idea!!
348
00:19:03,103 --> 00:19:05,254
I saw a bus in a garage
a couple of blocks back!
349
00:19:05,304 --> 00:19:06,935
We need to modify it!
350
00:19:06,985 --> 00:19:08,123
(What are we gonna do?)
351
00:19:08,173 --> 00:19:10,983
We're gonna save our parents
before they all kill each other!
352
00:19:38,474 --> 00:19:40,988
A bus! A bus is coming!
353
00:19:43,652 --> 00:19:47,343
It's the boys! They've modified
a bus to get us out of here!
354
00:19:47,393 --> 00:19:49,023
I knew they'd come back for us!
355
00:19:49,073 --> 00:19:50,441
- All right!
- Yeah.
356
00:19:50,491 --> 00:19:52,858
Look, Glen. We're saved.
357
00:19:55,270 --> 00:19:57,270
All right, I'm turning around.
358
00:19:58,199 --> 00:20:01,099
- Why are they turning?
- What are they doing??
359
00:20:02,811 --> 00:20:04,411
Don't leave us!!
360
00:20:05,428 --> 00:20:06,555
All right, hit it.
361
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,253
Let's hope to Christ this works.
362
00:20:08,303 --> 00:20:10,946
California Love
363
00:20:15,532 --> 00:20:19,811
California
Is nice to the homeless
364
00:20:20,807 --> 00:20:25,257
Californiania
Supercool to the homeless
365
00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:30,052
In the city
City of Santa Monica
366
00:20:31,367 --> 00:20:35,658
Lots of rich people
giving change to the homeless
367
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:38,309
Chaaange?
368
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:43,539
In the city
City of Brentwood
369
00:20:44,253 --> 00:20:48,864
They take really good care
of all their homeless
370
00:20:49,651 --> 00:20:51,551
They're listening. Let's go!
371
00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:56,394
In the city
Marina del Rey
372
00:20:57,740 --> 00:21:01,908
They're so nice to the homeless
built a port about it
373
00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:05,786
- They're... they're leading them away!
- We're gonna be all right!
374
00:21:05,836 --> 00:21:07,668
Oh Glen! We made it!
375
00:21:08,319 --> 00:21:12,475
California
Supercool to the homeless
376
00:21:12,525 --> 00:21:13,525
Cha-a-ange?
377
00:21:13,575 --> 00:21:18,185
Californiania
Idn't on the tona
378
00:21:18,849 --> 00:21:23,140
In the city
City of Venice
379
00:21:24,112 --> 00:21:28,575
Right by Matt's house
You can chill if you're homeless
380
00:21:32,632 --> 00:21:37,843
Yes!! That's three homeless!!
Suck on that!! Fuck yeah!!
381
00:21:38,972 --> 00:21:41,542
Honestly, I don't know
what you see in this, Kyle.
382
00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:44,753
Subtitles: Spirit
Transcript: South Park Scriptorium
383
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:45,803
www.southparknews.net
28435
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