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(dramatic music)
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♪ Roses are red ♪
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{\an8}♪ And violets are blue ♪
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{\an8}♪ One day we'll cruise down Blood Gulch avenue ♪
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♪ It's red versus red ♪
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♪ And blue versus blue ♪
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♪ It's I against I ♪
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♪ And me against you ♪
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♪ Violets are blue ♪
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♪ Roses are red ♪
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♪ Living like this we were already dead ♪
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♪ Hop in my car ♪
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♪ It don't have any doors ♪
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♪ It's built like a cat ♪
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♪ It lands on all fours ♪
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♪ My car's like a puma ♪
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♪ It drives on all fours ♪
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(dramatic music)
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Hey.
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Yeah?
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You ever wonder why we're here?
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That's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?
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Why are we here?
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I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence
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or is there really a God watching everything,
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you know, with a plan for us and stuff?
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I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
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What?
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I meant why are we out here in this canyon?
30
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Oh, yeah.
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What's all the stuff about God?
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Nothing.
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You want to talk about it?
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No.
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You sure?
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Yeah.
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Seriously though, why are we out here?
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As far as I can tell,
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it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.
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No way in or out.
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Mm-hm.
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The only reason that we set up a red base here,
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is because they have a blue base over there.
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And the only reason they have a blue base over there,
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is because we have a red base here.
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Yeah, that's because we're fighting each other.
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No, no, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today
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and they were to come take our base,
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they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon.
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Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
51
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What's up with that anyway?
52
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I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens.
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The next thing I know, Master Chief's blows up
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the whole covenant Armada
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and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere
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fighting a bunch of blue guys.
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What are they doing?
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What?
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I said, what are they doing now?
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God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question.
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You have a fucking rifle.
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I can't see shit.
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Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here
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and play with my dick.
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Okay look, they're just standing there and talking, okay?
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That's all they're doing.
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That's all they ever do is just stand there and talk.
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That's what they were doing last week.
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That's what they were doing
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when you asked me five minutes ago.
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So five minutes from now, when you ask me,
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what are they doing?
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My answer is gonna be, they're still just talking
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and they're still just standing there.
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What are they talking about?
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You know what?
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I fucking hate you.
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Talk about a waste of resources.
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I mean, we should be out there finding
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new and intelligent forms of life, you know, fight them.
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Yeah, no shit.
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That's why they should put us in charge.
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Men, front and center on the double.
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Fuck.
Yes, sir.
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Hurry up, ladies.
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This ain't no ice cream social.
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Ice cream social?
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Stop the pillow talk, you two.
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Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?
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Is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
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That's exactly it, private.
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War's over, we won.
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Turns out you're the big hero.
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We're gonna hold a parade in your honor.
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I get to drive the float
96
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and Simmons here is in charge of confetti!
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I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.
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God dammit, private.
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Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat
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while you're asleep.
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Oh, I'd do it too.
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I know you would, Simmons, good man.
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Couple of things today, ladies,
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the man has seen fit to increase our ranks here
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at Blood Gulch Outpost number one.
106
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Crap, we're getting a rookie.
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That's right, dead man.
108
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Our new recruit will be here within the week.
109
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But today we received the first part
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of our shipment from command.
111
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Lopez, bring up the vehicle.
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Shotgun.
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Shotgun, fuck.
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May I introduce our new light reconnaissance vehicle.
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It has four inch armor plating, mad buffer suspension,
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a mounted machine gunner position,
117
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and total seating for three.
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Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV.
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I like to call it the warthog.
120
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Why warthog sir?
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Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
122
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No, but why warthog?
123
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I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig.
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Say that again?
125
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I think it looks more like a puma.
126
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What in Sam hell is a Puma?
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You mean like the shoe company?
128
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No, like a Puma.
129
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It's a big cat, like a lion.
130
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You're making that up.
131
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I'm telling you, it's a real animal.
132
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Simmons I want you to poison Griff's next meal.
133
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Yes, sir.
134
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Look, see these two tow hooks?
135
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They look like tusks,
136
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and what kind of animal has tusks?
137
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A walrus.
138
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Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals.
139
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What is that thing?
140
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I don't know.
141
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It looks like they got some kind of car down there.
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We better get back to base and report it.
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A car?
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How come they get a car?
145
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What are you complaining about, man?
146
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We're about to get a tank in the very next drop.
147
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You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
148
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Oh, you know what?
149
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You could bitch about anything, couldn't you?
150
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We're gonna get a tank and you're worried about chicks.
151
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What chicks are we gonna pick up man?
152
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And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks
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in a car that looks like that?
154
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What kind of car is it?
155
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I don't know, I've never seen a car like that before.
156
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It looks like a, like a big cat of some kind.
157
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What, like a Puma?
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Yeah man, there you go.
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So unless anybody has any more mythical creatures
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to suggest as a name for the new vehicle,
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we're gonna stick with the Warthog.
162
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How about it Griff?
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No, sir, no more suggestions.
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Are you sure?
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How 'bout bigfoot?
166
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It's okay.
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Unicorn?
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No really, I'm cool.
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Sasquatch.
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Leprechaun.
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Hey, he doesn't need any help man.
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Phoenix.
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(sighing) Christ.
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Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard,
175
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eats all the goats?
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That would be the chupacabra, sir.
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Hey Griff, chupa-thingy, how 'bout that?
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I like it.
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Got a ring to it.
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(calm music)
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Hey, that's not exactly what happened.
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Yes it is.
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You said I'm not going to the Vegas quadrant,
184
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and then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod
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headed for-
Excuse me, sirs.
186
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Sirs?
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Ah crap.
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I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost number one
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and speak to whoever's in charge.
190
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Sorry man, Sergeant's at the command getting orders.
191
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Ain't nobody in charge today.
192
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Actually private, he left me in charge while he's gone.
193
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You are such a kiss ass.
194
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Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you I should,
195
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get in the warthog and crush your head like a tomato can.
196
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That's the worst impression I've ever heard.
197
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Okay, rookie, what's your story?
198
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Private Donut reporting for duty, sir.
199
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I'm ready to fight some aliens.
200
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Couple of things here, rookie.
201
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First off Private Donut?
202
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I think somebody needs a new nickname.
203
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,030
Secondly, what's with the armor color?
204
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This is the standard issue red.
205
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Yeah, I know.
206
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:38,070
Listen, only two kinds of people wear standard issued armor,
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officers and recruits.
208
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And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish,
209
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you're probably not an officer.
210
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Well he's wearing red armor.
211
00:08:44,789 --> 00:08:47,920
No, my armor is maroon.
212
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Your armor is red.
213
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Well, how do I get a different color armor?
214
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I'll bet the blues don't have to put up
215
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with this kind of crap.
216
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So I say to the guy,
217
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how you gonna get the tank down to the planet?
218
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And he goes, I'll just put it on the ship.
219
00:09:02,870 --> 00:09:07,172
And I go, if you've got a ship that can carry a tank,
220
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why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?
221
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Hey kid.
222
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,093
Yeah?
223
00:09:13,093 --> 00:09:14,820
You're ruining the moment.
224
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:15,870
Shut up.
225
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:18,370
Oh, okay.
226
00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:19,203
You got it, man.
227
00:09:19,203 --> 00:09:20,273
Do you know what?
228
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,190
I could blow up the whole god damn world with this thing.
229
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,440
Okay, Private Donut, here's the deal.
230
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I just refuse to call him Private Donut.
231
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,211
We've got a very important mission for you.
232
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Do you think you can handle it?
233
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Absolutely.
234
00:09:34,693 --> 00:09:37,192
We need you to go to the store and get two quarts
235
00:09:37,192 --> 00:09:38,604
of elbow grease.
236
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Yeah, and pick up some headlight fluid for the Puma too.
237
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The what?
238
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,062
He means the warthog?
239
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:47,249
You do know where the store is, right rookie?
240
00:09:47,249 --> 00:09:50,290
What, yeah, yeah, of course I do.
241
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,430
Sure, no problem.
242
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Well, get going then.
243
00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:55,603
Other way.
244
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I knew that, just got turned around, that's all.
245
00:10:00,881 --> 00:10:02,530
How long do you think until he figures out
246
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:03,690
there's no store?
247
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,313
I say at least a week.
248
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:10,552
Elbow grease, how stupid do they think I am?
249
00:10:10,552 --> 00:10:12,710
Once I get back to the base with that headlight fluid,
250
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I'm gonna talk to the Sergeant.
251
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,380
You know what?
252
00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:17,497
Forget what I said before.
253
00:10:17,497 --> 00:10:19,960
We can definitely pick up chicks in this thing.
254
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Probably two or three chicks a piece.
255
00:10:21,674 --> 00:10:23,873
Oh man, listen to you.
256
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,000
What are you gonna do with two chicks?
257
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,013
Church, women are like Voltron,
258
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the more you can hook up, the better it gets.
259
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,784
You think that we were too mean to the kid?
260
00:10:32,784 --> 00:10:34,562
Nah, he'll just wander around on the cliff
261
00:10:34,562 --> 00:10:35,770
for a few hours.
262
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,096
What's the worst that can happen?
263
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:39,344
Finally, there it is.
264
00:10:39,344 --> 00:10:42,670
Oh, sweet, they sell tanks.
265
00:10:42,670 --> 00:10:44,306
Yeah, I'll let you in on a little secret.
266
00:10:44,306 --> 00:10:47,530
I've actually got a girl back home.
267
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:49,510
Oh yeah, girlfriend or wife?
268
00:10:49,510 --> 00:10:52,610
No man, she's just my girl friend, you know.
269
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,140
We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out,
270
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:57,036
and you know how it works?
271
00:10:57,036 --> 00:10:59,696
Well, are you gonna marry her when you get back?
272
00:10:59,696 --> 00:11:00,793
I'm not gonna get married.
273
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:03,740
My dad always said, why buy the cow
274
00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,530
when you can get the milk for free?
275
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:09,670
Hey rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
276
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,350
No, I think he called her a slut.
277
00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:12,255
I'll tell you what noob,
278
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,477
I could sit out here and listen to you
279
00:11:14,477 --> 00:11:16,959
insult my girlfriend all day long,
280
00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:19,970
but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job
281
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:20,803
for you to do.
282
00:11:20,803 --> 00:11:21,636
Great.
283
00:11:21,636 --> 00:11:23,700
See, we've got this general.
284
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:26,140
Right, the general guy.
285
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:29,716
Who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases.
286
00:11:29,716 --> 00:11:32,530
So what I'm gonna have you do is I'm gonna have you
287
00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:35,952
go in the base and stand right next to the flag at attention
288
00:11:35,952 --> 00:11:38,370
just in case he decides to come by.
289
00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:39,600
When is he coming by?
290
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,433
We never know.
291
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,380
It could be today, could be a week from now.
292
00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:45,920
You want me to stand at attention for a week?
293
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,103
You know, you don't sound very grateful.
294
00:11:48,103 --> 00:11:51,200
This is the most important job at the whole base.
295
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,320
You're gonna be right there with the flag.
296
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,199
What's so important about the flag?
297
00:11:55,199 --> 00:11:56,680
Oh come on,
298
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,090
don't they teach you guys anything in training?
299
00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:01,273
They didn't tell us anything about a flag.
300
00:12:01,273 --> 00:12:03,050
Why is it so important?
301
00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,660
Because it's the flag, man,
302
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:07,363
you know, it's the flag.
303
00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:11,360
Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important.
304
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:14,913
Well, it's complicated.
305
00:12:16,390 --> 00:12:18,670
It's blue, we're blue.
306
00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:20,690
It's just important, okay.
307
00:12:20,690 --> 00:12:23,470
Trust us, so when the general comes by
308
00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:24,860
the first thing he's gonna wanna do
309
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:26,250
is inspect the flag.
310
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:27,083
Right.
311
00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:31,950
So just go in there, you know, far away from us
312
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:33,037
and wait for him.
313
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:37,400
How will I know when I see him?
314
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,187
There's only three of us out here, rookie.
315
00:12:39,187 --> 00:12:41,940
He's (indistinct) guy that doesn't look like one of us.
316
00:12:41,940 --> 00:12:44,223
Now get in there and don't come out.
317
00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:48,110
Man, that guy is dumber than you are.
318
00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:50,800
You mean he's dumber than you are.
319
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,733
Wow, Tucker, that was a great comeback.
320
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,950
Mr. Church, sir?
321
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:59,440
Oh my God, what?
322
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,440
Tucker, I swear I'm gonna kill him.
323
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,430
Sorry about calling your girl a slut.
324
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:06,380
Rookie, shut up!
325
00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:08,953
Just shut up, you're driving me crazy!
326
00:13:08,953 --> 00:13:09,884
Get in there!
327
00:13:09,884 --> 00:13:11,192
(Tucker laughing)
328
00:13:11,192 --> 00:13:13,830
Tucker, are you laughing at me?
329
00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:16,191
Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?
330
00:13:16,191 --> 00:13:19,190
Dear God in heaven rookie,
331
00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:22,469
if I turn around and you are not inside,
332
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:25,660
I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you.
333
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:26,850
What did I do?
334
00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:27,683
One!
335
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:28,516
Ah, give me a break.
336
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,349
Two!
337
00:13:29,349 --> 00:13:30,182
Fine.
338
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:36,370
Wow, you got here fast.
339
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:39,140
Why is everybody so freaking rude in this canyon?
340
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:39,973
I'm not, sir.
341
00:13:39,973 --> 00:13:41,430
What can I do for ya?
342
00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:44,470
Finally, someone with a little respect around here.
343
00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:47,769
Yes, sir, I assume you're here because of this.
344
00:13:47,769 --> 00:13:49,940
Wait, is this all you have?
345
00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:51,950
Yes sir, that's it.
346
00:13:51,950 --> 00:13:56,110
Oh man, this figures, shit.
347
00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:57,363
What about elbow grease?
348
00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:00,470
Headlight fluid?
349
00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:02,690
No, all we have is this flag.
350
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:04,726
Well, I can't go back empty handed.
351
00:14:04,726 --> 00:14:07,030
I guess I'll take that.
352
00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:10,910
Sure, that makes sense, I guess.
353
00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:13,130
Man, they're gonna give me so much shit
354
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:15,270
for coming back with just this stupid flag.
355
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:17,090
Well enough gabbing out of us.
356
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,460
Let's take this bad boy out for a spin.
357
00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:20,703
Go ahead and hop in Tucker.
358
00:14:20,703 --> 00:14:23,156
Me, I can't drive that thing.
359
00:14:23,156 --> 00:14:25,603
You're telling me you're not armor certified.
360
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:28,840
I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle.
361
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,170
Don't you know how to drive that?
362
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,302
No!
363
00:14:31,302 --> 00:14:35,150
Holy crap, who is running this army?
364
00:14:35,150 --> 00:14:40,009
Hey, just wanted to let you know the general stopped by
365
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,150
and picked up the flag.
366
00:14:42,150 --> 00:14:44,734
Yeah, okay, whatever moron.
367
00:14:44,734 --> 00:14:47,580
Why would they give us a tank if nobody here
368
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:50,058
knows how to drive the damn thing?
369
00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:52,933
Wait a second, what did he just say?
370
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,771
Let me get this straight,
371
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,350
you gave this guy our flag.
372
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:00,550
Is that bad?
373
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:02,950
Bad, oh no that's not bad.
374
00:15:02,950 --> 00:15:04,953
Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him
375
00:15:04,953 --> 00:15:07,134
blow up the whole god damn base.
376
00:15:07,134 --> 00:15:08,484
(indistinct) there he is.
377
00:15:09,510 --> 00:15:10,960
Where?
378
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,323
Oh yeah, oh I got him.
379
00:15:13,652 --> 00:15:16,250
He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.
380
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,743
He must be one smart son of a bitch.
381
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:21,680
Ah man, I am so freaking lost.
382
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,299
Where the hell is the base?
383
00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:25,410
Oh shit.
384
00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:28,730
Hey Tucker, look at his armor, it's red.
385
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:31,630
Oh man, that means it's their Sergeant.
386
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,780
Well, that makes sense.
387
00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:36,468
At least now we know how he got by our defenses.
388
00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:38,810
You know he came in the back door
389
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,250
where you guys were standing.
390
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,030
Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then.
391
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:43,320
Roger that.
392
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,670
Okay.
393
00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:46,205
Say good night Sarge.
394
00:15:46,205 --> 00:15:49,255
(gun firing)
395
00:15:49,255 --> 00:15:50,423
Son of a bitch.
396
00:15:51,670 --> 00:15:52,823
Ah crap.
397
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,648
What?
398
00:15:56,648 --> 00:15:59,870
You're really not very good with that thing are you?
399
00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:01,181
Hey, it's me.
400
00:16:01,181 --> 00:16:05,400
Don't shoot, I'm the guy that bought the flag remember?
401
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,400
Oh great, now he's taunting us.
402
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,500
That's just embarrassing.
403
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,780
All right, that's it, I've had it.
404
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,106
Rookie, you stay here.
405
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,204
Me and Tucker will head to the teleporter,
406
00:16:15,204 --> 00:16:16,770
we'll cut him off at the past.
407
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:17,603
Right.
408
00:16:17,603 --> 00:16:18,950
Tucker, you ready?
409
00:16:18,950 --> 00:16:19,810
Let's go.
410
00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:22,640
There is no way I'm going through that thing.
411
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,494
Tucker, we don't have time for this.
412
00:16:24,494 --> 00:16:27,069
Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?
413
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,210
I don't know.
414
00:16:28,210 --> 00:16:31,100
Why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?
415
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,870
We already tested the teleporter, remember?
416
00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:35,740
We threw rocks through it.
417
00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:36,873
Yeah, and so what?
418
00:16:36,873 --> 00:16:39,640
The rocks came out the other side didn't they?
419
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:43,410
Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.
420
00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:45,496
Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then.
421
00:16:45,496 --> 00:16:47,720
You're afraid of a little black stuff.
422
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,135
Yes I am.
423
00:16:49,135 --> 00:16:51,200
I am afraid of black stuff.
424
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,268
Tucker, I almost hate to do this to ya.
425
00:16:54,268 --> 00:16:55,101
You wouldn't.
426
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,880
You know, I look at it this way.
427
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,962
Either A, we go through there and get the flag back
428
00:16:59,962 --> 00:17:03,910
or B, we stay here and I get to kill you.
429
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:05,485
Either way I win.
430
00:17:05,485 --> 00:17:08,865
For the record, I want you to know rocks aren't people.
431
00:17:08,865 --> 00:17:12,170
Duly noted, now get in there.
432
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,910
Crap.
433
00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:15,390
All right.
434
00:17:15,390 --> 00:17:16,500
One, two.
435
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,871
(teleporter whirring)
436
00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:35,716
Huh, he didn't come out the other side.
437
00:17:35,716 --> 00:17:40,223
Yeah, I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.
438
00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:43,880
Okay rookie, you stay here.
439
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,240
I'll be back with the flag.
440
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,207
I still have no idea what you're talking about.
441
00:17:48,207 --> 00:17:49,935
I didn't hear any shots.
442
00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:54,830
I'm telling you it was four shots like bam, bam, bam.
443
00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:57,076
Wait a second, that's only three bams.
444
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:57,909
Bam.
445
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,350
Wait a second.
446
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:02,500
We got a blue guy on the move out there.
447
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:03,880
Where's he headed?
448
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,053
Oh, crap.
449
00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:09,601
It's Donut, and he's got something.
450
00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:10,677
It looks like--
451
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:15,150
Simmons, get the warthog.
452
00:18:15,150 --> 00:18:16,676
You mean the puma?
453
00:18:16,676 --> 00:18:17,509
Freeze!
454
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:20,770
Hey, why the hell were you shooting at me?
455
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:21,953
You could have hit me dick.
456
00:18:21,953 --> 00:18:22,786
Can it.
457
00:18:22,786 --> 00:18:24,830
Don't try to play stupid with me Sarge.
458
00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:25,950
I know who you are.
459
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:28,090
We've been spying on you for three weeks now.
460
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:30,560
I just got here two hours ago and I'm not a Sergeant.
461
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:31,393
I'm a private.
462
00:18:31,393 --> 00:18:33,030
Wait a minute, you're not the Sergeant.
463
00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:35,180
Yeah, that's what I just said.
464
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,600
Well then how the hell did you manage to steal our flag?
465
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,615
Steal, I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.
466
00:18:40,615 --> 00:18:41,541
Free!
467
00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:42,560
Geezus!
468
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,710
Holy shit, who is this guy?
469
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:46,644
What in the hell?
470
00:18:46,644 --> 00:18:48,882
Tucker is that you?
471
00:18:48,882 --> 00:18:50,850
How did you get up here ahead of me?
472
00:18:50,850 --> 00:18:52,720
And what's with that black shit on your armor?
473
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,590
Hey, freeze Sarge.
474
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:56,250
Will you stop calling me a Sergeant?
475
00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:57,464
I'm still just a private.
476
00:18:57,464 --> 00:18:59,733
The Sarge is still a private?
477
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:05,740
Oh my God, the teleporter sent me back in time.
478
00:19:06,050 --> 00:19:08,263
Sorry Lopez, we need the jeep.
479
00:19:08,263 --> 00:19:09,373
I'll take gunner.
480
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,140
Let's roll.
481
00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:14,031
How do you turn off the fucking radio in this car?
482
00:19:14,031 --> 00:19:15,110
Don't worry Lopez,
483
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,740
I'll bring her back in one piece.
484
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,294
Look, I know you don't know me,
485
00:19:18,294 --> 00:19:20,604
but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you.
486
00:19:20,604 --> 00:19:24,800
Sometime in your future, I get stationed here in Blood Gulch
487
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,640
and we meet.
488
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,470
And this guy here, he gets promoted to Sergeant
489
00:19:28,470 --> 00:19:30,363
of the red army and we spy on them
490
00:19:30,363 --> 00:19:32,620
and they get this new jeep, and I'm all like,
491
00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:35,605
there is no way you can pick up chicks in a tank.
492
00:19:35,605 --> 00:19:39,335
Tucker, what the fuck are you babbling about?
493
00:19:39,335 --> 00:19:41,450
I know all this sounds crazy,
494
00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:43,310
but he eventually becomes a Sergeant,
495
00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:45,390
and then one day we get a tank and he comes
496
00:19:45,390 --> 00:19:47,096
and steals our flag while were distracted.
497
00:19:47,096 --> 00:19:48,970
Is this guy a retard?
498
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,740
Red, shut up.
499
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:52,121
Tucker, listen to me.
500
00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:55,003
You haven't gone back in time, okay?
501
00:19:55,003 --> 00:19:56,807
This is the guy that stole the flag.
502
00:19:56,807 --> 00:19:58,950
He's just not the Sergeant.
503
00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:00,934
Turns out he's just some dumb rookie
504
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:03,460
who happens to have the same color armor as him.
505
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:06,990
He got in somehow, just for god's sake
506
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:08,673
what is that music?
507
00:20:08,673 --> 00:20:09,783
(upbeat music)
508
00:20:09,783 --> 00:20:10,616
Woo hoo!
509
00:20:10,616 --> 00:20:11,602
Son of a bitch!
Holy shit!
510
00:20:11,602 --> 00:20:13,510
Run, Jesus, run!
511
00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:14,906
The jeep followed me back in time.
512
00:20:14,906 --> 00:20:17,406
(guns firing)
513
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,959
What the hell is going on here?
514
00:20:20,959 --> 00:20:21,983
You know what?
515
00:20:21,983 --> 00:20:23,951
I honestly have no idea what's going on.
516
00:20:23,951 --> 00:20:26,653
I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely insane.
517
00:20:26,653 --> 00:20:27,956
How did you get the flag?
518
00:20:27,956 --> 00:20:29,766
I don't know, I just asked for it.
519
00:20:29,766 --> 00:20:32,020
Wait, that worked?
520
00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:34,030
I guess, is it not supposed to?
521
00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:36,640
I don't know, we never even thought to try that.
522
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,680
Just take the flag to the base, I'll explain there.
523
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,470
Not until someone tells me what the fuck is--
524
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:41,850
There's no time to explain rookie.
525
00:20:41,850 --> 00:20:43,037
Just take the flag and go to base.
526
00:20:43,037 --> 00:20:44,877
I'll explain everything there.
527
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:45,993
Fine.
528
00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:51,523
Back to our base dumb ass.
529
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:55,454
I know, I just got turned around, that's all.
530
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:58,500
Oh man, that's not good.
531
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,663
Oh my God, that jeep has a really big gun.
532
00:21:03,243 --> 00:21:08,563
Stay here, tank.
533
00:21:09,530 --> 00:21:10,363
Screw it.
534
00:21:12,591 --> 00:21:15,771
(guns firing)
535
00:21:15,771 --> 00:21:17,938
Well, we'll just wait here.
536
00:21:17,938 --> 00:21:20,343
That things gotta run out of bullets sometime.
537
00:21:25,537 --> 00:21:28,500
My god, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?
538
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:31,760
You know, in hindsight we should have brought the tank.
539
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,240
Hey Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us
540
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,190
if nobody here knows how to drive it?
541
00:21:37,190 --> 00:21:38,864
Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock
542
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,731
is a much better strategy.
543
00:21:40,731 --> 00:21:42,870
Well, yeah but--
544
00:21:44,093 --> 00:21:46,825
Oh man, I guess I gotta give that one to ya.
545
00:21:46,825 --> 00:21:49,242
(calm music)
546
00:21:51,950 --> 00:21:55,600
Hello and thank you for activating the M808V
547
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:56,875
main battle tank.
548
00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:58,620
You may call me Sheila.
549
00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:03,060
Hello, Sheila, big tank lady.
550
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:05,493
Would you like me to run the tutorial program?
551
00:22:05,493 --> 00:22:08,290
Oh, that'd be very nice, thank you.
552
00:22:08,290 --> 00:22:10,406
Tutorial program activated.
553
00:22:10,406 --> 00:22:15,110
This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel
554
00:22:15,110 --> 00:22:18,023
in the use of this scorpion class tank.
555
00:22:18,023 --> 00:22:20,819
Let's begin with some driving.
556
00:22:20,819 --> 00:22:22,236
Okay.
557
00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:24,423
Simmons, Simmons!
558
00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:30,813
Man that thing is loud.
559
00:22:32,330 --> 00:22:33,163
What?
560
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,860
Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock
561
00:22:35,860 --> 00:22:37,070
and get 'em out.
562
00:22:37,070 --> 00:22:37,903
Okay!
563
00:22:37,903 --> 00:22:39,780
Keep it down, Jesus.
564
00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:42,380
Let's go before they figure out what's going on.
565
00:22:42,380 --> 00:22:45,494
Now that you've mastered driving the M808V,
566
00:22:45,494 --> 00:22:48,510
let's move on to some of the safety features.
567
00:22:48,510 --> 00:22:50,833
No, no, wait, go back.
568
00:22:50,833 --> 00:22:54,003
Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?
569
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:02,980
Hey, they stopped firing.
570
00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:04,373
Why are you whispering?
571
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:06,763
I don't know.
572
00:23:08,109 --> 00:23:10,030
Ah crap, I don't think we're gonna be able
573
00:23:10,030 --> 00:23:11,370
to get around this way.
574
00:23:11,370 --> 00:23:14,290
Tell me again, why did we get out of the jeep?
575
00:23:14,290 --> 00:23:16,130
Well, I guess it was this or sit there
576
00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:18,070
and watch you shoot rocks all day long.
577
00:23:18,070 --> 00:23:19,653
Well, at least that was fun.
578
00:23:23,061 --> 00:23:25,590
Holy crap.
579
00:23:25,590 --> 00:23:27,803
What in God's name is that thing?
580
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,010
Tucker, don't be stupid.
581
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:32,684
They're just trying to draw us out.
582
00:23:32,684 --> 00:23:34,020
No, they're not.
583
00:23:34,020 --> 00:23:36,650
Look, they left the jeep, they're gone.
584
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:38,630
Well, I don't know about this.
585
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:41,410
It seems pretty fishy, but all right screw it,
586
00:23:41,410 --> 00:23:42,243
let's go get it.
587
00:23:44,210 --> 00:23:46,210
Dude, hold still.
588
00:23:46,210 --> 00:23:47,756
I don't think it sees us.
589
00:23:47,756 --> 00:23:50,506
(Sheila beeping)
590
00:23:54,890 --> 00:23:56,840
Why is it just sitting there?
591
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,810
Just trying to mess with our head.
592
00:23:59,810 --> 00:24:01,590
Let's get back to the warthog.
593
00:24:01,590 --> 00:24:05,022
This tank is equipped with an auto fire sequence
594
00:24:05,022 --> 00:24:08,951
that can be activated by pressing the auto fire button.
595
00:24:08,951 --> 00:24:10,967
This will end the tutorial.
Auto fire, here,
596
00:24:10,967 --> 00:24:11,803
here, no wait.
597
00:24:11,803 --> 00:24:13,616
Okay that's more than just pushing the button.
598
00:24:13,616 --> 00:24:16,430
Okay, you ready?
599
00:24:16,430 --> 00:24:19,040
Let's do this on three.
600
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:19,930
One.
601
00:24:19,930 --> 00:24:22,963
Wait on three, or three and then go?
602
00:24:22,963 --> 00:24:26,285
On three, it's always faster to go on three.
603
00:24:26,285 --> 00:24:28,300
Okay, okay, on three.
604
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,310
Here!
605
00:24:29,310 --> 00:24:30,746
Tutorial de-activated.
606
00:24:30,746 --> 00:24:33,500
Auto fire sequence activated.
607
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:34,420
Ready.
608
00:24:34,420 --> 00:24:35,680
Acquiring targets.
609
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,203
I'm going for the jeep, cover me.
610
00:24:39,148 --> 00:24:40,253
One.
611
00:24:42,070 --> 00:24:43,571
Target acquired.
612
00:24:43,571 --> 00:24:45,400
(Griff heavily breathing)
613
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:46,233
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
614
00:24:46,233 --> 00:24:47,210
Two.
615
00:24:47,210 --> 00:24:48,460
Target locked.
616
00:24:50,770 --> 00:24:51,603
Three.
617
00:24:52,678 --> 00:24:54,959
Oh you backstabbing cock bite.
618
00:24:54,959 --> 00:24:57,318
Firing main canon.
619
00:24:57,318 --> 00:24:59,117
(canon firing)
620
00:24:59,117 --> 00:24:59,950
Son of a bitch.
621
00:24:59,950 --> 00:25:03,251
Son of a bitch!
622
00:25:03,251 --> 00:25:04,608
Firing main canon.
623
00:25:04,608 --> 00:25:07,481
(canon firing)
624
00:25:07,481 --> 00:25:08,701
Firing main canon.
625
00:25:08,701 --> 00:25:11,250
Dammit!
(canon firing)
626
00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:13,750
Firing main canon.
627
00:25:15,177 --> 00:25:16,948
Hey dude, the jeep blew up.
628
00:25:16,948 --> 00:25:18,530
No kidding.
629
00:25:18,530 --> 00:25:19,920
Thanks for the update, Tucker.
630
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,119
Hey, I have a great idea.
(canon firing)
631
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,484
Let's get out of the jeep and sneak around
632
00:25:25,484 --> 00:25:27,520
the side of the rocks.
633
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,198
Great plan you idiot!
634
00:25:29,198 --> 00:25:31,970
(upbeat music)
635
00:25:31,970 --> 00:25:33,563
All targets eliminated.
636
00:25:33,563 --> 00:25:36,390
Acquiring new targets.
637
00:25:36,390 --> 00:25:38,430
Hey Tucker, look at this man.
638
00:25:38,430 --> 00:25:40,930
It's the rookie, and he brought the tank out
639
00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:42,310
to scare off the reds.
640
00:25:42,310 --> 00:25:43,997
What, no way.
641
00:25:43,997 --> 00:25:45,320
Hey rookie, good job man!
642
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,880
Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?
643
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,825
New target acquired.
644
00:25:50,825 --> 00:25:54,160
That's not a target, that's Church.
645
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,527
Yeah, that's right, it's me Church!
646
00:25:56,527 --> 00:25:58,176
What's going on, man?
647
00:25:58,176 --> 00:25:59,570
Target locked.
648
00:25:59,570 --> 00:26:00,499
What, no.
649
00:26:00,499 --> 00:26:02,746
Target unlock, unlock!
650
00:26:02,746 --> 00:26:04,938
Please help me nice lady.
651
00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:07,189
Firing main canon.
652
00:26:07,189 --> 00:26:09,587
Uh oh.
653
00:26:09,587 --> 00:26:10,641
What?
654
00:26:10,641 --> 00:26:15,641
Oh son of a bitch.
(canon firing)
655
00:26:15,910 --> 00:26:18,263
Holy fuck, Church are you okay?
656
00:26:19,190 --> 00:26:21,750
Talk to me, Church.
657
00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:24,810
You shot Church you team killing fuck-tard.
658
00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:27,266
Auto fire sequence de-activated.
659
00:26:27,266 --> 00:26:30,380
Tucker, Tucker.
660
00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:32,533
Church, it's going to be okay, man.
661
00:26:32,533 --> 00:26:37,533
No, I'm not gonna make it.
662
00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:41,560
Tucker, there's something I need to tell you.
663
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:42,780
What is it?
664
00:26:42,780 --> 00:26:47,460
I just want you to know, I always hated you.
665
00:26:47,460 --> 00:26:48,940
I always hated you the most.
666
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:50,630
Yeah, I know you did.
667
00:26:50,630 --> 00:26:52,253
Now hurry up and die you prick.
668
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:54,477
Okay (spluttering).
669
00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:00,084
What happened?
670
00:27:00,084 --> 00:27:02,334
Idiot, tank, shoot, whoo.
671
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:08,450
Damn man, we only ran like 300 feet.
672
00:27:08,450 --> 00:27:10,750
You are really out of shape.
673
00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:12,980
Fuck you.
674
00:27:12,980 --> 00:27:13,905
Where's your car?
675
00:27:13,905 --> 00:27:16,380
General Patton here had a great strategy
676
00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:17,740
to leave it behind.
677
00:27:17,740 --> 00:27:20,140
Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up.
678
00:27:20,140 --> 00:27:21,800
You lost the jeep?
679
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,220
Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed.
680
00:27:25,220 --> 00:27:26,053
Where is it?
681
00:27:26,053 --> 00:27:28,225
(canon firing)
682
00:27:28,225 --> 00:27:29,380
What the hell.
683
00:27:29,380 --> 00:27:30,213
(canon firing)
684
00:27:30,213 --> 00:27:31,353
Son of a bitch!
Oh crap.
685
00:27:31,353 --> 00:27:33,069
What the hell was that thing?
686
00:27:33,069 --> 00:27:35,020
That's the tank.
687
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:38,100
Hey Griff, you wanna hold the flag for a little bit?
688
00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:39,917
No, keep that away from me.
689
00:27:39,917 --> 00:27:41,840
(canon firing)
690
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,294
Why do you keep firing at the jeep?
691
00:27:43,294 --> 00:27:45,430
Because it's locked on.
692
00:27:45,430 --> 00:27:46,320
Target locked.
693
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,298
Well unlock it.
694
00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:50,124
Last time I unlocked it, I killed Church.
695
00:27:50,124 --> 00:27:51,413
Oh right.
696
00:27:52,273 --> 00:27:54,360
Keep shooting the jeep then.
697
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:56,782
I hate to be the one to point this out guys,
698
00:27:56,782 --> 00:27:58,900
but I think we're screwed.
699
00:27:58,900 --> 00:28:02,228
Yeah, I have to agree with the rookie on this one.
700
00:28:02,228 --> 00:28:03,700
(radio whirring)
701
00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:05,950
Blood Gulch Outpost number one,
702
00:28:05,950 --> 00:28:07,940
come in Blood Gulch Outpost, come in.
703
00:28:07,940 --> 00:28:09,785
Do you read me?
704
00:28:09,785 --> 00:28:10,618
This is Sergeant--
705
00:28:10,618 --> 00:28:13,170
Oh my God, Sarge, is that you?
706
00:28:13,170 --> 00:28:15,647
Roger that private, I am currently inbound
707
00:28:15,647 --> 00:28:17,910
to your position from command.
708
00:28:17,910 --> 00:28:19,920
Sir this is Simmons.
709
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:20,820
Hello Simmons,
710
00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:23,450
I hope everything's gone all right while I've been gone.
711
00:28:23,450 --> 00:28:26,010
Actually Sir, things are kind of hectic right now.
712
00:28:26,010 --> 00:28:27,740
The new rookie arrived and somehow he managed
713
00:28:27,740 --> 00:28:30,760
to infiltrate the blue base and now we have their flag,
714
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,340
the warthog is damaged, one of their guys is dead,
715
00:28:33,340 --> 00:28:36,619
and there's a huge fucking tank about to destroyer our base.
716
00:28:36,619 --> 00:28:39,369
(radio whirring)
717
00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:43,810
Am I talking to the right base?
718
00:28:43,810 --> 00:28:47,450
Sarge, we are going to die here.
719
00:28:47,450 --> 00:28:48,913
Well then hold tight boys.
720
00:28:49,750 --> 00:28:53,958
I think I got a solution to your little tank problem.
721
00:28:53,958 --> 00:28:54,791
Uh oh.
722
00:28:58,430 --> 00:29:01,250
Hey caboose, you might wanna get out of the tank,
723
00:29:01,250 --> 00:29:02,580
like right now.
724
00:29:02,580 --> 00:29:04,660
I can't figure out how to get this thing open!
725
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:06,240
Night vision engaged.
726
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,138
Rookie, get out now.
727
00:29:08,138 --> 00:29:09,530
(gun firing)
728
00:29:09,530 --> 00:29:11,648
Okay, open the door, okay.
729
00:29:11,648 --> 00:29:14,160
Sheila will you please open the door?
730
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,230
Driver canopy open.
731
00:29:16,230 --> 00:29:19,753
Thank you for using the M808V main battle tank.
732
00:29:20,864 --> 00:29:22,226
Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.
733
00:29:22,226 --> 00:29:24,047
Running, running, running.
734
00:29:24,047 --> 00:29:25,797
Man, that was close.
735
00:29:27,210 --> 00:29:29,329
Look at your tank though.
736
00:29:29,329 --> 00:29:30,810
I'm scared Dave.
737
00:29:30,810 --> 00:29:32,453
Will I dream?
738
00:29:32,453 --> 00:29:33,286
Davie.
739
00:29:35,822 --> 00:29:38,802
Davie.
740
00:29:38,802 --> 00:29:41,343
Sheila no!
741
00:29:42,558 --> 00:29:45,967
No, Sheila, Sheila.
742
00:29:45,967 --> 00:29:48,820
Wait, who's Sheila?
743
00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:51,092
Sheila's the lady in the tank.
744
00:29:51,092 --> 00:29:53,630
She was my friend.
745
00:29:53,630 --> 00:29:56,963
Oh dude, I knew you could pick up chicks in the tank.
746
00:29:57,843 --> 00:29:59,243
(radio whirring)
747
00:29:59,243 --> 00:30:02,730
Come in Blue Command, this is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha,
748
00:30:02,730 --> 00:30:03,660
do you read me?
749
00:30:03,660 --> 00:30:05,240
Okay that is the last of it.
750
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:06,841
Your armor is clean now.
751
00:30:06,841 --> 00:30:08,390
Did you get all the black stuff off?
752
00:30:08,390 --> 00:30:11,880
This is Blue Command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha.
753
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,011
Hello, Command, we need help.
754
00:30:14,011 --> 00:30:16,531
Roger that Blood Gulch, what is your request?
755
00:30:16,531 --> 00:30:19,550
I don't know what the technical military term is for it,
756
00:30:19,550 --> 00:30:21,730
but we're pretty fucked up down here.
757
00:30:21,730 --> 00:30:22,893
We need men.
758
00:30:22,893 --> 00:30:25,509
Dude, how long have you guys been down there?
759
00:30:25,509 --> 00:30:27,870
No, no, no, no, not like that.
760
00:30:27,870 --> 00:30:29,740
We need more men to help us.
761
00:30:29,740 --> 00:30:30,573
Roger that.
762
00:30:30,573 --> 00:30:32,107
Did you get the tank we sent?
763
00:30:32,107 --> 00:30:34,840
Yeah, that got blown up too.
764
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:36,564
Wow, sucks to be you.
765
00:30:36,564 --> 00:30:37,842
Yeah we know.
766
00:30:37,842 --> 00:30:39,575
Okay, here's what I can do.
767
00:30:39,575 --> 00:30:42,547
The nearest blue forces can be there in 16 days or I--
768
00:30:42,547 --> 00:30:43,990
16 days?
769
00:30:43,990 --> 00:30:45,641
That's almost two weeks.
770
00:30:45,641 --> 00:30:47,760
Or I can hire a nearby freelancer
771
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,272
and get him there within a few hours.
772
00:30:49,272 --> 00:30:51,860
I like the in an hour one.
773
00:30:51,860 --> 00:30:53,040
Yeah, me too.
774
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,460
Roger that Command, we prefer that quicker solution.
775
00:30:55,460 --> 00:30:58,420
10 four Blood Gulch, we will contact freelancer Tex
776
00:30:58,420 --> 00:31:00,060
and have him there post haste.
777
00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:00,893
Command out.
778
00:31:00,893 --> 00:31:03,140
Whoever he is, make sure he can fix a tank.
779
00:31:03,140 --> 00:31:04,001
What's a freelancer?
780
00:31:04,001 --> 00:31:07,170
Freelancers are independent, they're not red or blue.
781
00:31:07,170 --> 00:31:08,325
They're just guns for hire who will fight
782
00:31:08,325 --> 00:31:10,836
for whoever has the most money.
783
00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:12,680
Like a mercenary.
784
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,043
Right, or like your mom when the rent's due.
785
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,080
Oh, that's funny.
786
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:18,593
Yeah, you didn't think that was too obvious?
787
00:31:18,593 --> 00:31:20,869
No, no, no at all, that was good.
788
00:31:20,869 --> 00:31:21,702
Tucker.
789
00:31:22,942 --> 00:31:23,775
Tucker.
790
00:31:25,656 --> 00:31:26,931
Who the hell are you?
791
00:31:26,931 --> 00:31:29,850
I am the ghost of Church
792
00:31:29,850 --> 00:31:31,950
and I've come back with a warning.
793
00:31:32,931 --> 00:31:35,406
You're not Church.
794
00:31:35,406 --> 00:31:37,141
Church is blue.
795
00:31:37,141 --> 00:31:38,620
You're white.
796
00:31:38,620 --> 00:31:40,340
Rookie, shut up man.
797
00:31:40,340 --> 00:31:41,800
I'm a freaking ghost.
798
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,760
Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?
799
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,290
Yeah, it's definitely him.
800
00:31:45,290 --> 00:31:46,840
Now I gotta start over again.
801
00:31:48,973 --> 00:31:49,973
Tucker, Tucker.
802
00:31:52,753 --> 00:31:56,010
I've come back with a warning.
803
00:31:56,010 --> 00:31:58,122
Is it really necessary to do the voice?
804
00:31:58,122 --> 00:31:59,810
Yeah, it's kind of annoying.
805
00:31:59,810 --> 00:32:02,320
Fine, okay here's the deal.
806
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:03,490
I've come back from the dead
807
00:32:03,490 --> 00:32:05,263
to give you a warning about Tex.
808
00:32:05,263 --> 00:32:07,100
Don't let--
What's the warning?
809
00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:09,958
Shut up for one second and I'll tell you.
810
00:32:09,958 --> 00:32:11,130
Oh sorry.
811
00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:13,050
Seriously man, I mean I'm coming back
812
00:32:13,050 --> 00:32:15,474
from the great beyond here, do you think this is easy?
813
00:32:15,474 --> 00:32:16,670
It's not.
814
00:32:16,670 --> 00:32:19,330
It's not like just pop in and out whenever I feel like it.
815
00:32:19,330 --> 00:32:20,761
It takes a lot of concentration.
816
00:32:20,761 --> 00:32:21,594
Sorry.
817
00:32:21,594 --> 00:32:24,050
I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with,
818
00:32:24,050 --> 00:32:25,450
but now I come back and I can't even
819
00:32:25,450 --> 00:32:27,023
get a word in edgewise, man.
820
00:32:29,710 --> 00:32:31,270
Okay, here's the deal.
821
00:32:31,270 --> 00:32:32,114
Is this the warning?
822
00:32:32,114 --> 00:32:33,210
All right that's it.
823
00:32:33,210 --> 00:32:36,950
I swear to God Caboose, your ass is haunted.
824
00:32:36,950 --> 00:32:39,390
When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you.
825
00:32:39,390 --> 00:32:41,340
Yeah, you're even starting to bug me.
826
00:32:41,340 --> 00:32:44,020
Okay, Tucker you remember that I told you
827
00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:46,310
I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me
828
00:32:46,310 --> 00:32:47,690
here to Blood Gulch, right?
829
00:32:47,690 --> 00:32:48,904
No.
Sidewinder,
830
00:32:48,904 --> 00:32:50,723
isn't that the ice planet.
831
00:32:50,723 --> 00:32:51,900
Yes.
832
00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:54,570
Cool, what was that like?
833
00:32:54,570 --> 00:32:55,790
It was cold.
834
00:32:55,790 --> 00:32:56,623
That's it, just cold?
835
00:32:56,623 --> 00:32:58,210
What do you want from me?
836
00:32:58,210 --> 00:32:59,043
A poem.
837
00:32:59,043 --> 00:33:02,196
It's a planet made entirely out of ice.
838
00:33:02,196 --> 00:33:05,570
It's really fucking cold.
839
00:33:05,570 --> 00:33:06,813
Would you just let him talk?
840
00:33:06,813 --> 00:33:09,989
All right, well, one day when I was there,
841
00:33:09,989 --> 00:33:12,171
everything was just like normal.
842
00:33:12,171 --> 00:33:15,960
I remember I was out on patrol with my partner, Jimmy.
843
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,540
That Jimmy was a real good kid.
844
00:33:17,540 --> 00:33:18,550
Everybody liked him.
845
00:33:18,550 --> 00:33:20,063
Do you think I was a good kid, Church?
846
00:33:20,063 --> 00:33:22,270
Tucker, don't get jealous, man.
847
00:33:22,270 --> 00:33:23,960
Just listen to the story, okay.
848
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,190
Like I said, guys were hanging around
849
00:33:26,190 --> 00:33:28,652
waiting for some action, bitching about the cold.
850
00:33:28,652 --> 00:33:30,717
Man it's fucking cold.
851
00:33:30,717 --> 00:33:32,200
I hope we get some action.
852
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,200
Anyway, Jimmy was in the middle of telling me
853
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,420
all about his girlfriend he had back home.
854
00:33:36,420 --> 00:33:39,420
Yep, as soon as I get back I'm gonna get down on one knee
855
00:33:39,420 --> 00:33:40,880
and ask her to marry me.
856
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:42,930
And that's when Tex showed up.
857
00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:46,410
Private Mickey was the first to go.
858
00:33:46,410 --> 00:33:48,970
He was halfway across the base when all of a sudden
859
00:33:48,970 --> 00:33:50,823
he just started screaming bloody murder.
860
00:33:50,823 --> 00:33:53,139
Bloody murder, bloody murder!
861
00:33:53,139 --> 00:33:56,089
The whole thing was over before it even started.
862
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,101
Poor Jimmy was the last one to go.
863
00:34:00,101 --> 00:34:02,659
Tex walked up to him, pulled Jimmy's skull
864
00:34:02,659 --> 00:34:05,110
right out of his head and beat him to death with it.
865
00:34:05,110 --> 00:34:06,740
Wait a second.
866
00:34:06,740 --> 00:34:09,191
How do you beat someone to death with their own skull?
867
00:34:09,191 --> 00:34:11,619
That doesn't seem physically possible.
868
00:34:11,619 --> 00:34:13,660
That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
869
00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:16,243
This doesn't seem physically possible!
870
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,172
Bottom line is these freelancers,
871
00:34:20,172 --> 00:34:24,000
they're bad news and Tex is one of the worst.
872
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,830
If he's such a bad ass, why didn't he kill you?
873
00:34:25,830 --> 00:34:28,160
To this day I don't know why I'm not dead.
874
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,083
He coulda killed me at any point,
875
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:32,240
but maybe it's because Tex and I
876
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:34,260
had run into each other once before.
877
00:34:34,260 --> 00:34:35,093
Where?
878
00:34:35,093 --> 00:34:39,020
You remember that girl I told you about back home?
879
00:34:39,020 --> 00:34:42,170
Well, let's just say that Tex is the real reason
880
00:34:42,170 --> 00:34:43,580
why we never got married.
881
00:34:43,580 --> 00:34:46,460
Guys I'm fading fast and I don't know when I'll be back.
882
00:34:46,460 --> 00:34:47,580
Just listen to my warning.
883
00:34:47,580 --> 00:34:49,590
Don't let Tex get involved here.
884
00:34:49,590 --> 00:34:50,423
Okay.
885
00:34:50,423 --> 00:34:53,595
I mean it Tucker, no fighting, no scouting, nothing.
886
00:34:53,595 --> 00:34:54,853
You'll regret it.
887
00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:59,140
So Tex and Church were after the same girl.
888
00:34:59,140 --> 00:35:01,105
I told you his girlfriend was a slut.
889
00:35:01,105 --> 00:35:03,605
(calm music)
890
00:35:10,300 --> 00:35:11,890
And then I thought, you know,
891
00:35:11,890 --> 00:35:13,770
we could sneak around the side
892
00:35:13,770 --> 00:35:15,850
while they were hiding behind the rock,
893
00:35:15,850 --> 00:35:18,210
but well that's when the tank showed up
894
00:35:18,210 --> 00:35:20,707
and shit just started blowing up.
895
00:35:20,707 --> 00:35:21,790
I don't know.
896
00:35:23,353 --> 00:35:27,180
Griff, do you have any godly idea
897
00:35:27,180 --> 00:35:29,950
how much this piece of equipment costs?
898
00:35:29,950 --> 00:35:34,950
I don't know, like what 10, 10, 20, 25 bucks maybe?
899
00:35:35,683 --> 00:35:38,034
You're gonna kill me now aren't you?
900
00:35:38,034 --> 00:35:39,180
Tell you what, Griff.
901
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:40,062
I'm a fair man.
902
00:35:40,062 --> 00:35:42,500
I'll give you a 10 second head start here
903
00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:45,770
before I let Lopez do anything he wants to you.
904
00:35:45,770 --> 00:35:47,450
Guys, I just want you to know
905
00:35:47,450 --> 00:35:50,030
I'm really, really sorry here.
906
00:35:50,030 --> 00:35:52,929
Five Mississippi, six Mississippi.
907
00:35:52,929 --> 00:35:55,483
Okay, I guess I better get going then.
908
00:35:57,635 --> 00:35:58,666
(guns firing)
909
00:35:58,666 --> 00:35:59,940
Hey guys that's not funny.
910
00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:00,975
Somebody could get hurt here.
911
00:36:00,975 --> 00:36:03,470
(gun firing)
912
00:36:03,470 --> 00:36:05,280
That's basically it, sir.
913
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,820
They have five guys over there and a big jeep.
914
00:36:07,820 --> 00:36:08,993
And your flag.
915
00:36:10,110 --> 00:36:11,193
Right that too.
916
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,260
Hey, Tex, I don't know what it's been like
917
00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:20,010
at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers
918
00:36:20,010 --> 00:36:22,023
as target practice here.
919
00:36:23,894 --> 00:36:25,203
I'm scared.
920
00:36:27,970 --> 00:36:31,313
So you've got the special forces black armor I see.
921
00:36:31,313 --> 00:36:33,563
Were you in the special forces at some point?
922
00:36:35,780 --> 00:36:38,750
Yeah, I used to have black armor too.
923
00:36:38,750 --> 00:36:40,810
It was black because I got this stuff all over it
924
00:36:40,810 --> 00:36:42,300
from the, oh, okay.
925
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:43,133
You gotta go?
926
00:36:43,133 --> 00:36:44,133
I'll see you later.
927
00:36:45,140 --> 00:36:48,300
I don't think he likes you.
928
00:36:48,300 --> 00:36:49,133
Thanks.
929
00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:52,283
Where are you going?
930
00:36:53,550 --> 00:36:57,973
Red base, kill everybody, get the flag back.
931
00:37:00,190 --> 00:37:02,484
Oh, okay.
932
00:37:02,484 --> 00:37:07,484
We'll just stay here and guard the transporter.
933
00:37:08,443 --> 00:37:11,220
So Sarge thought my strategy had merit,
934
00:37:11,220 --> 00:37:12,980
but was poorly executed,
935
00:37:12,980 --> 00:37:16,350
probably because somebody didn't believe in it.
936
00:37:16,350 --> 00:37:19,214
Bullshit, he told me he thought you were a retarded monkey
937
00:37:19,214 --> 00:37:21,870
and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges.
938
00:37:21,870 --> 00:37:23,477
Hey, since I captured the flag,
939
00:37:23,477 --> 00:37:25,740
you think they'll give me my own color armor now?
940
00:37:25,740 --> 00:37:27,139
What do you mean captured?
941
00:37:27,139 --> 00:37:29,950
You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot.
942
00:37:29,950 --> 00:37:31,630
Still, you think there's a shot?
943
00:37:31,630 --> 00:37:32,463
Maybe they'll give you Griff's armor
944
00:37:32,463 --> 00:37:34,027
since he destroyed the warthog.
945
00:37:34,027 --> 00:37:39,027
Yeah, wait, you don't think they'd do that do you?
946
00:37:39,150 --> 00:37:42,323
Try connecting that hose to that metal thingy there.
947
00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:45,263
I think that's what's making that rattle.
948
00:37:46,559 --> 00:37:48,513
I think I'll let you do it.
949
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:55,480
What the, what was that?
950
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,044
Simmons, what's going on?
951
00:37:57,044 --> 00:37:58,720
What's over there?
952
00:37:58,720 --> 00:38:00,770
I thought I saw something for a second.
953
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:05,860
Hey rookie, tuck the flag someplace safe
954
00:38:05,860 --> 00:38:07,443
until we can figure out what's going on.
955
00:38:07,443 --> 00:38:08,590
Good idea.
956
00:38:08,590 --> 00:38:10,640
I was sick of carrying this thing anyway.
957
00:38:12,830 --> 00:38:14,090
Did you hear that?
958
00:38:14,090 --> 00:38:14,930
Yeah.
959
00:38:14,930 --> 00:38:17,133
Hey, what's going on?
960
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:22,170
What the fuck?
961
00:38:22,170 --> 00:38:23,003
What?
962
00:38:24,340 --> 00:38:25,650
What is that thing?
963
00:38:25,650 --> 00:38:26,483
What thing?
964
00:38:26,483 --> 00:38:28,220
There's something on your head.
965
00:38:28,220 --> 00:38:29,460
What, is it a spider?
966
00:38:29,460 --> 00:38:30,293
Get it off.
967
00:38:30,293 --> 00:38:31,200
No, it's not a spider.
968
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:32,929
It's like a blue thing.
969
00:38:32,929 --> 00:38:34,798
What, like a blue spider?
970
00:38:34,798 --> 00:38:35,940
Get it off.
971
00:38:35,940 --> 00:38:38,310
It's not a spider, calm down.
972
00:38:38,310 --> 00:38:40,800
It's some kind of fuzzy pulsating thing.
973
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,648
That doesn't sound much better than a spider.
974
00:38:42,648 --> 00:38:43,900
Does it hurt?
975
00:38:43,900 --> 00:38:44,733
No.
976
00:38:44,733 --> 00:38:46,480
Maybe we should try to take it off.
977
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,350
Good idea, go for it.
978
00:38:48,350 --> 00:38:52,600
Me, by we I meant you ass hole.
979
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:54,420
Well, somebody needs to get it off.
980
00:38:54,420 --> 00:38:55,843
Look, it might be dangerous.
981
00:38:55,843 --> 00:38:56,676
(explosion)
982
00:38:56,676 --> 00:38:58,884
Son of a bitch!
983
00:38:58,884 --> 00:39:00,786
(grunting)
984
00:39:00,786 --> 00:39:02,640
Where'd he go?
985
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:03,473
Don't kill me.
986
00:39:03,473 --> 00:39:04,708
I'm too good looking to die.
987
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:10,050
Man, he is really kicking their asses.
988
00:39:10,050 --> 00:39:13,093
How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?
989
00:39:15,300 --> 00:39:18,320
I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs.
990
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,200
Sure makes things a lot easier on us.
991
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,033
Yeah.
992
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,440
I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade.
993
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,160
It definitely seems like your killing Church
994
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:28,683
is starting to work out for us.
995
00:39:28,683 --> 00:39:29,980
You know, you think so?
996
00:39:29,980 --> 00:39:32,230
You know, I was going to say something, but
997
00:39:33,327 --> 00:39:35,297
well you know, that's not--
998
00:39:36,810 --> 00:39:38,193
Did Tex get in the base?
999
00:39:41,830 --> 00:39:42,680
Yeah.
1000
00:39:44,910 --> 00:39:47,243
Blue team flag returned.
1001
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:49,880
What the, who said that?
1002
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,720
Sorry, that was me.
1003
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:54,810
I guess I had something stuck in my throat.
1004
00:39:54,810 --> 00:39:56,520
Your flag is back by the way.
1005
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,820
Hey it's Church.
1006
00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:00,100
Yeah, it's me.
1007
00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:01,000
Hey Caboose.
1008
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,549
Hey Church, what are you up to?
1009
00:40:03,549 --> 00:40:07,630
Caboose, I'm not really here to make small talk, okay.
1010
00:40:07,630 --> 00:40:09,840
How'd you guys manage to get your flag back?
1011
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,070
What?
1012
00:40:11,070 --> 00:40:14,390
Oh, that flag, we've always had that.
1013
00:40:14,390 --> 00:40:17,180
Tucker, who do you think you're trying to fool?
1014
00:40:17,180 --> 00:40:18,970
Hey, wait a second.
1015
00:40:18,970 --> 00:40:20,158
Where's Tex?
1016
00:40:20,158 --> 00:40:21,647
I'm not really sure.
1017
00:40:21,647 --> 00:40:23,277
He said he was gonna go to the store.
1018
00:40:23,277 --> 00:40:25,750
Something about elbow grease.
1019
00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:26,670
Oh great.
1020
00:40:26,670 --> 00:40:28,914
This is so typical.
1021
00:40:28,914 --> 00:40:31,104
What was the one thing I told you guys
1022
00:40:31,104 --> 00:40:33,170
the last time I appeared?
1023
00:40:33,170 --> 00:40:35,053
That Sidewinder is cold?
1024
00:40:36,530 --> 00:40:40,580
What was the other one thing I told you?
1025
00:40:40,580 --> 00:40:42,740
Not to let him get involved.
1026
00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:45,300
Right, and what did you do?
1027
00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:47,080
We let him get involved.
1028
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:50,070
And not just a little involved, how involved?
1029
00:40:50,070 --> 00:40:52,990
Very, very involved.
1030
00:40:52,990 --> 00:40:53,823
Freeze.
1031
00:40:57,340 --> 00:40:58,373
Drop your weapon.
1032
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:01,193
Hey buddy.
1033
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:02,873
What?
1034
00:41:02,873 --> 00:41:06,217
You really better hope the first one knocks me out?
1035
00:41:08,988 --> 00:41:10,513
Ow, what the?
1036
00:41:11,630 --> 00:41:13,783
My freaking head, Jesus.
1037
00:41:16,220 --> 00:41:17,470
He's hurt Griff.
1038
00:41:17,470 --> 00:41:20,760
He'll make it, but we need to get him some help fast.
1039
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,600
Yeah, yeah, hold on a second.
1040
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,260
What happened here?
1041
00:41:24,260 --> 00:41:28,151
First Donut's head exploded, and then you fainted,
1042
00:41:28,151 --> 00:41:30,023
and then some black thing showed up and--
1043
00:41:30,023 --> 00:41:31,327
Whoa whoa whoa, wait.
1044
00:41:31,327 --> 00:41:33,010
I did not faint.
1045
00:41:33,010 --> 00:41:34,131
Something knocked me out.
1046
00:41:34,131 --> 00:41:36,242
Okay, fine, keep lying to yourself.
1047
00:41:36,242 --> 00:41:38,530
Whatever helps you sleep at night.
1048
00:41:38,530 --> 00:41:39,810
Man, just go find Sarge.
1049
00:41:39,810 --> 00:41:41,410
We need to get Donut outta here.
1050
00:41:42,470 --> 00:41:43,360
Yeah, sure.
1051
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,557
Oh, and I'm fine by the way.
1052
00:41:45,557 --> 00:41:46,992
Thanks for asking.
1053
00:41:46,992 --> 00:41:49,293
Whatever, no one likes you anyway.
1054
00:41:51,490 --> 00:41:55,063
Yup, he's definitely captured.
1055
00:41:56,510 --> 00:41:57,343
Or dead.
1056
00:41:58,670 --> 00:41:59,603
Captured or dead.
1057
00:42:01,630 --> 00:42:03,780
Or captured and dead.
1058
00:42:03,780 --> 00:42:06,250
Oh well that's just perfect.
1059
00:42:06,250 --> 00:42:08,760
What, what is your problem?
1060
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,300
Why do you even care if he's captured?
1061
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:11,730
I thought you hated that guy anyway
1062
00:42:11,730 --> 00:42:13,530
for stealing your girlfriend.
1063
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:16,063
I never said I hated Tex.
1064
00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:19,050
I just said that she was the reason
1065
00:42:19,050 --> 00:42:20,433
why we never got married.
1066
00:42:21,420 --> 00:42:22,820
She?
1067
00:42:22,820 --> 00:42:25,490
Sarge, we need to get Donut airlifted outta here.
1068
00:42:25,490 --> 00:42:28,220
Could you put that in a memo and entitle it
1069
00:42:28,220 --> 00:42:30,167
shit I already know.
1070
00:42:30,167 --> 00:42:31,723
Get on the horn with Command.
1071
00:42:32,720 --> 00:42:34,080
Well look who's up.
1072
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,721
Rise and shine buttercup.
1073
00:42:36,721 --> 00:42:39,554
(Tex spluttering)
1074
00:42:40,750 --> 00:42:42,153
Oh great.
1075
00:42:42,153 --> 00:42:44,586
You broke my voice filter.
1076
00:42:44,586 --> 00:42:47,493
You cock biting fuck-tards.
1077
00:42:48,430 --> 00:42:50,420
Ah ha, I knew it!
1078
00:42:50,420 --> 00:42:52,770
Only a chick could give me a headache this big.
1079
00:42:54,700 --> 00:42:55,716
Let me get this straight.
1080
00:42:55,716 --> 00:42:57,989
You're telling me that the guy that showed up here,
1081
00:42:57,989 --> 00:43:00,090
scared the living shit out of us,
1082
00:43:00,090 --> 00:43:02,090
shot at Caboose, and beat the hell out of the reds
1083
00:43:02,090 --> 00:43:03,310
wasn't a guy at all?
1084
00:43:03,310 --> 00:43:04,450
That he was a chick?
1085
00:43:04,450 --> 00:43:06,680
And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?
1086
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:10,130
In a nutshell, yes, that's an excellent summary.
1087
00:43:10,130 --> 00:43:11,820
I should have known.
1088
00:43:11,820 --> 00:43:12,793
She didn't like me.
1089
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,360
Girls never like me.
1090
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,760
Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.
1091
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,000
I like me.
1092
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,210
I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before.
1093
00:43:22,210 --> 00:43:24,510
Are you sure she's a chick and not a guy,
1094
00:43:24,510 --> 00:43:26,925
or like part guy part shark?
1095
00:43:26,925 --> 00:43:29,277
I'm pretty sure I would know if Tex was a guy.
1096
00:43:29,277 --> 00:43:32,203
And I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark.
1097
00:43:32,203 --> 00:43:34,060
Wait, wait, wait.
1098
00:43:34,060 --> 00:43:36,953
If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex?
1099
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:39,703
Because she's from Texas.
1100
00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:43,955
Trust me, it makes sense.
1101
00:43:43,955 --> 00:43:46,710
And you can't blame her for being so aggressive.
1102
00:43:46,710 --> 00:43:48,680
It's not entirely her fault to begin with.
1103
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:50,850
Right, you should blame God.
1104
00:43:50,850 --> 00:43:54,010
First he makes hangovers and now half women half sharks
1105
00:43:54,010 --> 00:43:55,620
that won't even sleep with me.
1106
00:43:55,620 --> 00:43:57,090
Thanks for nothing God.
1107
00:43:57,090 --> 00:43:59,090
Will you shut up with that.
1108
00:43:59,090 --> 00:44:01,680
She got recruited into some kind of weird experimental
1109
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,678
program back during basic where they infused her armor
1110
00:44:04,678 --> 00:44:07,400
with this really aggressive AI.
1111
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:08,610
I'm not really sure how it all works,
1112
00:44:08,610 --> 00:44:11,530
but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell.
1113
00:44:11,530 --> 00:44:16,530
AI, what's the A stand for?
1114
00:44:16,690 --> 00:44:17,543
Artificial.
1115
00:44:19,390 --> 00:44:20,223
What's the I?
1116
00:44:20,223 --> 00:44:21,706
Intelligence.
1117
00:44:21,706 --> 00:44:24,640
Oh, what was the A again?
1118
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,060
Let's move on.
1119
00:44:26,060 --> 00:44:29,320
So the military put this program in her head
1120
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,960
and that program made her a killer, but underneath it all
1121
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:34,560
she's really just a sweet down-home girl?
1122
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,393
Oh hell no.
1123
00:44:35,393 --> 00:44:37,114
She's always been a rotten bitch.
1124
00:44:37,114 --> 00:44:38,900
It's just now she's a rotten bitch
1125
00:44:38,900 --> 00:44:40,390
with cybernetic enhancements.
1126
00:44:40,390 --> 00:44:43,280
Wow, sounds like you really won the lottery with that one.
1127
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:44,366
Good catch there buddy.
1128
00:44:44,366 --> 00:44:46,450
She's a keeper.
1129
00:44:46,450 --> 00:44:47,507
So how are you doing Caboose?
1130
00:44:47,507 --> 00:44:49,310
Are you following any of this whatsoever?
1131
00:44:49,310 --> 00:44:51,560
I think so.
1132
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:56,560
That guy Tex is really a robot and you're his boyfriend,
1133
00:44:57,561 --> 00:45:02,033
so that makes you a gay robot.
1134
00:45:03,010 --> 00:45:05,019
Yeah, that's right.
1135
00:45:05,019 --> 00:45:06,753
I'm a gay robot.
1136
00:45:08,406 --> 00:45:10,643
So you're a girl, huh?
1137
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,090
Just ignore him, that's what I do.
1138
00:45:15,090 --> 00:45:18,120
Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are ya?
1139
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:20,760
Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you.
1140
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,343
Yeah right, what are you gonna do punch me?
1141
00:45:24,285 --> 00:45:26,720
(screaming) Not in the face.
1142
00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:29,500
Well don't worry because I have a great plan
1143
00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,290
for how we're gonna rescue Tex.
1144
00:45:31,290 --> 00:45:34,960
A plan, oh man I hate plans.
1145
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,120
That means we're gonna have to do stuff.
1146
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:40,100
Can't we just have a strategy or a mission statement?
1147
00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:41,676
I just need you guys to run a distraction
1148
00:45:41,676 --> 00:45:43,700
while I spring Tex.
1149
00:45:43,700 --> 00:45:48,100
Distraction, that sounds a lot like decoy.
1150
00:45:48,100 --> 00:45:50,890
The way I see it, the reds have absolutely no idea
1151
00:45:50,890 --> 00:45:52,827
how many freelancers we have out here,
1152
00:45:52,827 --> 00:45:55,401
so all I need from the two of you is to run around
1153
00:45:55,401 --> 00:45:58,350
in the middle of the canyon wearing black armor
1154
00:45:58,350 --> 00:46:00,450
while I sneak in the back of the base.
1155
00:46:00,450 --> 00:46:02,725
Sounds good, but Church, where the hell are we gonna get
1156
00:46:02,725 --> 00:46:04,483
two suits of black armor?
1157
00:46:07,700 --> 00:46:09,283
Oh fuck berries.
1158
00:46:13,090 --> 00:46:14,260
Are you okay Tucker?
1159
00:46:14,260 --> 00:46:15,110
Yeah, I'm fine.
1160
00:46:17,370 --> 00:46:19,000
Come on Caboose.
1161
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,220
Does it hurt?
1162
00:46:20,220 --> 00:46:21,980
No, not at all.
1163
00:46:21,980 --> 00:46:24,153
Okay, here I come.
1164
00:46:25,860 --> 00:46:27,019
Does it hurt for real?
1165
00:46:27,019 --> 00:46:28,703
Oh yeah, big time.
1166
00:46:31,930 --> 00:46:32,847
Ow, geez.
1167
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:36,330
You lied to me.
1168
00:46:36,330 --> 00:46:38,813
Ah dammit, Lopez, come here.
1169
00:46:40,550 --> 00:46:42,203
Do you see something out there?
1170
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:46,850
There's no L in it.
1171
00:46:46,850 --> 00:46:47,850
It's pronounced both.
1172
00:46:47,850 --> 00:46:50,341
That's what I'm saying, both.
1173
00:46:50,341 --> 00:46:51,510
Both.
1174
00:46:51,510 --> 00:46:53,880
You sound like such an ass the way you say it.
1175
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,560
Griff, quit your yammering and get your keister up here.
1176
00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:58,820
Need some help.
1177
00:46:58,820 --> 00:47:00,207
Got some more of them Special Ops fellas
1178
00:47:00,207 --> 00:47:02,010
headed toward the base.
1179
00:47:02,010 --> 00:47:04,049
As in more than one?
1180
00:47:04,049 --> 00:47:06,720
Maybe we should both go, sir.
1181
00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:08,060
Both.
1182
00:47:08,060 --> 00:47:10,680
Seriously, man, like an ass.
1183
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:14,597
Well well, another brilliant idea from the think tank.
1184
00:47:14,597 --> 00:47:15,522
Why don't you both come up,
1185
00:47:15,522 --> 00:47:17,574
leave the prisoner alone.
1186
00:47:17,574 --> 00:47:19,870
We can just put her on the honor system.
1187
00:47:19,870 --> 00:47:21,010
Have her guard herself.
1188
00:47:21,010 --> 00:47:22,098
Good point, sir.
1189
00:47:22,098 --> 00:47:23,466
You're god damn right it is!
1190
00:47:23,466 --> 00:47:24,876
Now get your ass up here.
1191
00:47:24,876 --> 00:47:26,318
We've got just enough time
1192
00:47:26,318 --> 00:47:28,963
for me to spray paint the bullseye on your back.
1193
00:47:30,483 --> 00:47:34,103
By bullseye I of course mean camouflage.
1194
00:47:35,210 --> 00:47:37,310
Now move it cupcake.
1195
00:47:37,310 --> 00:47:40,020
Yeah, I'll be right up.
1196
00:47:40,020 --> 00:47:41,310
Hey Tucker, come in man.
1197
00:47:41,310 --> 00:47:42,143
You there?
1198
00:47:42,143 --> 00:47:44,161
This is Church, it's working.
1199
00:47:44,161 --> 00:47:46,700
The orange one is coming out of the base.
1200
00:47:46,700 --> 00:47:50,860
I repeat the orange one is coming out of the base.
1201
00:47:50,860 --> 00:47:51,693
Roger that.
1202
00:47:51,693 --> 00:47:53,129
Oh, oh, oh Tucker, Tucker, Tucker.
1203
00:47:53,129 --> 00:47:54,563
Is that, is that Church?
1204
00:47:54,563 --> 00:47:56,007
Tell him that I said
Okay, (indistinct)
1205
00:47:56,007 --> 00:47:57,426
keep moving on to the left side of the base
1206
00:47:57,426 --> 00:47:58,510
to draw their attention.
For me to say hi.
1207
00:47:58,510 --> 00:48:00,471
Wait, wait, wait, what?
1208
00:48:00,471 --> 00:48:01,570
I missed that.
1209
00:48:01,570 --> 00:48:02,447
Caboose was talking to me.
1210
00:48:02,447 --> 00:48:04,636
Shut up, man, I'm on the radio.
1211
00:48:04,636 --> 00:48:07,140
I said, just keep moving--
1212
00:48:07,140 --> 00:48:08,170
I'm not yelling.
1213
00:48:08,170 --> 00:48:10,963
I'm just telling you to let me finish talking to Church.
1214
00:48:10,963 --> 00:48:13,714
No, I'll tell him you said hi later.
1215
00:48:13,714 --> 00:48:15,320
No you can't talk to him.
1216
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,440
How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?
1217
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:19,961
Oh my God.
1218
00:48:19,961 --> 00:48:23,083
I can't believe I actually died for this war.
1219
00:48:25,058 --> 00:48:26,130
I don't see any.
1220
00:48:26,130 --> 00:48:28,863
Uh oh yep, there's one.
1221
00:48:31,550 --> 00:48:33,540
Why is he just standing there?
1222
00:48:33,540 --> 00:48:35,470
Caboose, get behind the rock.
1223
00:48:35,470 --> 00:48:36,810
They can still see you.
1224
00:48:36,810 --> 00:48:38,563
They can't see me.
1225
00:48:38,563 --> 00:48:40,920
I can't see them.
1226
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,520
That's because you're facing the rock.
1227
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:44,593
Oh, right.
1228
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,927
Real smooth dip shit.
1229
00:48:47,927 --> 00:48:50,180
They're definitely Special Ops.
1230
00:48:50,180 --> 00:48:52,524
I haven't seen troop movements this coordinated
1231
00:48:52,524 --> 00:48:54,267
since my days on (spluttering).
1232
00:48:55,863 --> 00:48:57,733
Sir, are you okay?
1233
00:48:58,577 --> 00:49:01,210
Who are you talking to red, me?
1234
00:49:01,210 --> 00:49:05,100
No, I'm talking to Lopez, because you know,
1235
00:49:05,100 --> 00:49:06,503
that's real rewarding.
1236
00:49:07,850 --> 00:49:10,340
Hey, what'd I tell you about that?
1237
00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:12,361
I'm fine.
1238
00:49:12,361 --> 00:49:17,361
I'm just so mad about these god damn blues out here.
1239
00:49:17,514 --> 00:49:20,303
I'm so god damn mad I could spit.
1240
00:49:20,303 --> 00:49:23,397
(Sarge spitting)
1241
00:49:23,397 --> 00:49:26,949
Sir, did you spit inside your own helmet?
1242
00:49:26,949 --> 00:49:28,980
Yeah, I guess I did.
1243
00:49:28,980 --> 00:49:31,070
Permission to speak freely, sir?
1244
00:49:31,070 --> 00:49:31,903
Go ahead.
1245
00:49:31,903 --> 00:49:33,220
That's really fucking gross.
1246
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,295
Hey Tucker.
1247
00:49:34,295 --> 00:49:35,630
What?
1248
00:49:35,630 --> 00:49:38,670
I'm having a really good time
1249
00:49:38,670 --> 00:49:41,140
with you.
That's great, Caboose.
1250
00:49:41,140 --> 00:49:44,870
Yeah, it's like we're real soldiers.
1251
00:49:44,870 --> 00:49:47,220
Would you please go hide behind another rock?
1252
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,483
Hey man, what's up yo?
1253
00:49:52,950 --> 00:49:56,205
Hey, what's going on out there, sir?
1254
00:49:56,205 --> 00:49:59,680
Nothing, why would you ask if something's wrong?
1255
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,335
I think that's a perfectly normal question
1256
00:50:01,335 --> 00:50:02,790
in a time of war.
1257
00:50:02,790 --> 00:50:05,080
Yeah, well, I don't know.
1258
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,830
You're starting to act kind of suspicious there
1259
00:50:07,830 --> 00:50:09,040
other red guy.
1260
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,650
So I'm keep my eye on.
1261
00:50:11,650 --> 00:50:13,987
Sarge I'm starting to think that, ow gee,
1262
00:50:13,987 --> 00:50:15,340
the back of my head.
1263
00:50:15,340 --> 00:50:17,460
What the hell are you doing?
1264
00:50:17,460 --> 00:50:19,250
Tex, it's me Church.
1265
00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:20,570
I've come to rescue you.
1266
00:50:20,570 --> 00:50:22,750
You're kind of short to be Church.
1267
00:50:22,750 --> 00:50:23,820
What?
1268
00:50:23,820 --> 00:50:25,281
Oh yeah, right the armor.
1269
00:50:25,281 --> 00:50:27,740
(Sarge grunting)
1270
00:50:27,740 --> 00:50:30,140
What in Sam hell?
1271
00:50:30,140 --> 00:50:33,550
Where the, who spit on my visor?
1272
00:50:33,550 --> 00:50:35,520
Tex, there's not much time to explain,
1273
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:37,340
so I'm just gonna give you the summary here, okay.
1274
00:50:37,340 --> 00:50:40,080
I'm a spirit now and I'm trapped in the physical world.
1275
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:42,640
I possessed this red guy so that I could sneak into the base
1276
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:44,577
and rescue you while the rest of our guys
1277
00:50:44,577 --> 00:50:46,600
run around out in the middle of the canyon,
1278
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,220
dressed in black armor that they got
1279
00:50:48,220 --> 00:50:50,372
from going through the teleporter.
1280
00:50:50,372 --> 00:50:51,340
Okay.
1281
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,940
What, that's it, okay?
1282
00:50:53,940 --> 00:50:56,158
You're not surprised by any of this?
1283
00:50:56,158 --> 00:50:58,580
No, it pretty much all makes sense.
1284
00:50:58,580 --> 00:51:01,380
Not even the whole Church is a ghost thing?
1285
00:51:01,380 --> 00:51:02,580
That didn't do anything for ya?
1286
00:51:02,580 --> 00:51:04,070
I can see right through you.
1287
00:51:04,070 --> 00:51:05,398
It's pretty obvious.
1288
00:51:05,398 --> 00:51:07,490
Okay, well let me hop back in this guy
1289
00:51:07,490 --> 00:51:09,284
and we'll get out of here.
1290
00:51:09,284 --> 00:51:10,660
(Sarge grunting)
1291
00:51:10,660 --> 00:51:12,073
What are you doing?
1292
00:51:12,073 --> 00:51:15,205
One of the reds has Tex.
1293
00:51:15,205 --> 00:51:20,205
I'm going to shoot him and kill him and free Tex,
1294
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:24,930
then Church will forgive me for killing him,
1295
00:51:24,930 --> 00:51:26,323
and we will be friends.
1296
00:51:27,690 --> 00:51:28,950
Oh, come on.
1297
00:51:28,950 --> 00:51:31,020
You don't actually believe any of that, do you?
1298
00:51:31,020 --> 00:51:35,910
Oh, we're gonna be best friends.
1299
00:51:35,910 --> 00:51:37,739
All right, I'll make one more distraction,
1300
00:51:37,739 --> 00:51:40,920
then you run up to the teleporter and escape.
1301
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:45,920
Ready, one, two, three.
(gun firing)
1302
00:51:46,495 --> 00:51:48,853
What the, where did my body go?
1303
00:51:50,290 --> 00:51:52,581
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
1304
00:51:52,581 --> 00:51:55,357
Tucker did it.
1305
00:51:55,357 --> 00:51:56,190
Hello.
1306
00:52:03,563 --> 00:52:04,396
Hello.
1307
00:52:05,675 --> 00:52:06,758
I said hello.
1308
00:52:08,209 --> 00:52:11,283
Hello is anybody out here?
1309
00:52:12,140 --> 00:52:14,800
Holy cow, could you stop yelling.
1310
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:15,633
I'm here.
1311
00:52:17,290 --> 00:52:19,330
What is this place?
1312
00:52:19,330 --> 00:52:22,023
Well, it's kinda hard to explain.
1313
00:52:24,611 --> 00:52:29,611
You were shot in the head buddy, so here you are.
1314
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:31,070
Am I dead?
1315
00:52:31,070 --> 00:52:32,370
Are you dead?
1316
00:52:32,370 --> 00:52:35,790
Well, yeah, that's how I ended up here.
1317
00:52:35,790 --> 00:52:38,005
Are you some kind of angel?
1318
00:52:38,005 --> 00:52:39,843
(laughing) am I an angel.
1319
00:52:41,173 --> 00:52:42,230
Yeah, actually I am.
1320
00:52:42,230 --> 00:52:43,579
I'm an angel.
1321
00:52:43,579 --> 00:52:45,030
Do you wanna go to Heaven,
1322
00:52:45,030 --> 00:52:46,880
'cause it's like 10 bucks to get in.
1323
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:49,270
I didn't really bring any.
1324
00:52:49,270 --> 00:52:50,710
I mean my wallet's back in the car.
1325
00:52:50,710 --> 00:52:52,410
Yeah you don't have it there, huh?
1326
00:52:52,410 --> 00:52:54,696
Well, that's too bad.
1327
00:52:54,696 --> 00:52:58,012
Pretty crappy reason to be dammed to hell for an eternity.
1328
00:52:58,012 --> 00:52:59,404
I don't remember dying.
1329
00:52:59,404 --> 00:53:01,560
Yeah, that's my fault too.
1330
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:04,093
I was sort of possessing your body at the time
1331
00:53:04,093 --> 00:53:05,940
that you were shot.
1332
00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:07,080
Sorry about that.
1333
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,160
Hold on a second, that aint fair.
1334
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:10,220
Not fair?
1335
00:53:10,220 --> 00:53:12,170
Yeah, join the fricking club.
1336
00:53:12,170 --> 00:53:14,210
I got shot by my own tank.
1337
00:53:14,210 --> 00:53:15,613
Target locked.
1338
00:53:15,613 --> 00:53:18,670
Oh ha ha, very funny Sheila, shut up.
1339
00:53:18,670 --> 00:53:20,560
You know I still haven't forgiven you.
1340
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:22,237
I didn't say you could talk to me yet.
1341
00:53:22,237 --> 00:53:23,070
Go over there.
1342
00:53:23,070 --> 00:53:25,340
Go over to the base.
1343
00:53:25,340 --> 00:53:26,173
Shoo shoo.
1344
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:33,910
Sarge, don't you give up on me, soldier.
1345
00:53:33,910 --> 00:53:34,743
You hear me?
1346
00:53:34,743 --> 00:53:35,731
I'm ordering you!
1347
00:53:35,731 --> 00:53:36,970
Who is that?
1348
00:53:36,970 --> 00:53:38,200
Who's there?
1349
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,740
Looks like your guys are trying to save you.
1350
00:53:39,740 --> 00:53:41,250
You gotta believe man!
1351
00:53:41,250 --> 00:53:42,690
You gotta pull through!
1352
00:53:42,690 --> 00:53:43,700
Come on Sarge!
1353
00:53:43,700 --> 00:53:47,210
That is not the way you were trained to do that, private.
1354
00:53:47,210 --> 00:53:48,470
He can't hear you.
1355
00:53:48,470 --> 00:53:49,647
Griff, this isn't working.
1356
00:53:49,647 --> 00:53:51,180
We have to try something else.
1357
00:53:51,180 --> 00:53:53,733
If he gives you mouth to mouth, I'm leaving.
1358
00:53:54,970 --> 00:53:56,730
Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth.
1359
00:53:56,730 --> 00:53:57,563
I'm leaving.
1360
00:53:57,563 --> 00:54:01,050
I can't believe how hard they're trying to save me.
1361
00:54:01,050 --> 00:54:02,090
Why wouldn't they?
1362
00:54:02,090 --> 00:54:04,226
I mean my team didn't, but why wouldn't yours?
1363
00:54:04,226 --> 00:54:06,740
I thought they didn't like me.
1364
00:54:06,740 --> 00:54:08,274
Aw don't sell yourself short.
1365
00:54:08,274 --> 00:54:09,920
I don't even know you and here I am
1366
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,530
about to guide you to Heaven for only five bucks.
1367
00:54:12,530 --> 00:54:15,340
Hold on, if you're an angel how come
1368
00:54:15,340 --> 00:54:16,950
you ain't got no wings?
1369
00:54:16,950 --> 00:54:19,460
Because nobody rang a bell (chuckling).
1370
00:54:19,460 --> 00:54:21,270
Seriously, do you have the money or don't you?
1371
00:54:21,270 --> 00:54:24,494
Oh, I feel the worst about Griff.
1372
00:54:24,494 --> 00:54:26,730
I always make fun of him.
1373
00:54:26,730 --> 00:54:31,380
I never even told him he was my son.
1374
00:54:31,380 --> 00:54:34,030
No way, the orange guy is you son?
1375
00:54:34,030 --> 00:54:38,120
Nah, I just wanted to screw with him one last time,
1376
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:41,866
but now I'll never get that chance.
1377
00:54:41,866 --> 00:54:44,734
He's breathing, I saved Sarge!
1378
00:54:44,734 --> 00:54:45,567
I'm what?
1379
00:54:45,567 --> 00:54:46,805
He's what?
1380
00:54:46,805 --> 00:54:49,830
Well, I'll be a monkeys.
1381
00:54:49,830 --> 00:54:50,673
They saved me.
1382
00:54:52,010 --> 00:54:53,030
What?
1383
00:54:53,030 --> 00:54:53,990
No come back.
1384
00:54:53,990 --> 00:54:55,947
We need to even the sides!
1385
00:54:55,947 --> 00:54:59,824
Thanks for your help wingless angel fella.
1386
00:54:59,824 --> 00:55:02,960
Will I remember any of this?
1387
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,156
Yes, but only if you give me $2.
1388
00:55:06,156 --> 00:55:08,906
(Sarge coughing)
1389
00:55:09,793 --> 00:55:12,160
What, what happened here?
1390
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:13,700
Sir, you got shot in the head,
1391
00:55:13,700 --> 00:55:16,530
so we gave you CPR and saved you, sir.
1392
00:55:16,530 --> 00:55:18,962
I always believed in you Simmons.
1393
00:55:18,962 --> 00:55:22,150
Actually, it's Griff you should thank, sir.
1394
00:55:22,150 --> 00:55:23,710
He did all the work.
1395
00:55:23,710 --> 00:55:24,608
Griff?
1396
00:55:24,608 --> 00:55:26,110
Yes, sir.
1397
00:55:26,110 --> 00:55:30,940
Griff, why in hell would you give somebody CPR
1398
00:55:30,940 --> 00:55:33,632
for a bullet wound in the head?
1399
00:55:33,632 --> 00:55:35,683
That doesn't make a lick of sense.
1400
00:55:37,300 --> 00:55:38,840
You're welcome, sir.
1401
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,148
I mean, it's also damn inconsistent.
1402
00:55:41,148 --> 00:55:43,100
What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe?
1403
00:55:43,100 --> 00:55:44,853
Rub my neck with Aloe vera?
1404
00:55:46,871 --> 00:55:48,460
Dude this is sweet.
1405
00:55:48,460 --> 00:55:50,458
Command was so happy that I got the blue flag,
1406
00:55:50,458 --> 00:55:52,653
they gave me my own color armor.
1407
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,210
Hey Donut.
1408
00:55:57,210 --> 00:55:58,700
What?
1409
00:55:58,700 --> 00:55:59,976
About your armor.
1410
00:55:59,976 --> 00:56:01,450
What about it?
1411
00:56:01,450 --> 00:56:03,020
How do I put this?
1412
00:56:03,020 --> 00:56:05,873
Your armor is, it's a little,
1413
00:56:08,010 --> 00:56:10,160
Griff you wanna help me out here?
1414
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:11,110
It's pink.
1415
00:56:11,110 --> 00:56:13,290
Your armor is fricking pink.
1416
00:56:13,290 --> 00:56:14,543
Yeah that's it.
1417
00:56:15,427 --> 00:56:16,820
Pink.
1418
00:56:16,820 --> 00:56:18,700
Pink, my armor's not pink.
1419
00:56:18,700 --> 00:56:19,659
Pink.
1420
00:56:19,659 --> 00:56:21,692
Yeah, definitely pink.
1421
00:56:21,692 --> 00:56:23,647
You guys are colorblind.
1422
00:56:23,647 --> 00:56:26,410
Why would they give me pink armor?
1423
00:56:26,410 --> 00:56:29,306
Hey, don't ask, don't tell.
1424
00:56:29,306 --> 00:56:30,763
That's not funny.
1425
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:33,550
It's a little funny.
1426
00:56:33,550 --> 00:56:35,182
Look at it, it's not pink.
1427
00:56:35,182 --> 00:56:38,035
It's like a lightish red.
1428
00:56:38,035 --> 00:56:39,429
Guess what?
1429
00:56:39,429 --> 00:56:40,873
They already have a color for lightish red.
1430
00:56:40,873 --> 00:56:44,004
You know what it's called, pink.
1431
00:56:44,004 --> 00:56:46,580
I hate you guys.
1432
00:56:46,580 --> 00:56:48,593
Well hello dirt bags.
1433
00:56:49,830 --> 00:56:51,513
And a fine hello to you Madam.
1434
00:56:51,513 --> 00:56:53,344
It's light red.
1435
00:56:53,344 --> 00:56:57,138
Don't get your panties in a wad there Barbie.
1436
00:56:57,138 --> 00:56:59,490
Do ya have a package for me?
1437
00:56:59,490 --> 00:57:00,323
Yes, sir.
1438
00:57:00,323 --> 00:57:01,470
Excellent.
1439
00:57:01,470 --> 00:57:04,070
They said this speech unit should work with Lopez.
1440
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:06,450
Speech unit.
1441
00:57:06,450 --> 00:57:07,420
Here you go.
1442
00:57:07,420 --> 00:57:11,300
Affirmative, Command was fresh out of speech modules
1443
00:57:11,300 --> 00:57:12,710
when I started building Lopez,
1444
00:57:12,710 --> 00:57:15,419
but once I get this baby installed,
1445
00:57:15,419 --> 00:57:18,933
I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to.
1446
00:57:19,990 --> 00:57:21,610
No offense Simmons.
1447
00:57:21,610 --> 00:57:23,780
Oh don't worry, I knew who you meant, sir.
1448
00:57:23,780 --> 00:57:26,130
Wait a second, Lopez is a robot?
1449
00:57:26,130 --> 00:57:27,160
Of course he is.
1450
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,000
You didn't notice that he never talks?
1451
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,245
I just thought he was a really quiet guy.
1452
00:57:31,245 --> 00:57:33,590
And the fact that he sleeps standing up
1453
00:57:33,590 --> 00:57:36,240
and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention?
1454
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:38,959
Well, I did think the motor oil thing was a bit odd.
1455
00:57:38,959 --> 00:57:41,730
I just thought he was trying to impress me.
1456
00:57:41,730 --> 00:57:44,190
Hey sir, you really should ground yourself
1457
00:57:44,190 --> 00:57:45,522
before handling that card.
1458
00:57:45,522 --> 00:57:46,365
How come?
1459
00:57:46,365 --> 00:57:48,391
Because static could damage the card.
1460
00:57:48,391 --> 00:57:51,040
Come on, that's an urban legend they use
1461
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,590
to sell those stupid bracelets.
1462
00:57:53,570 --> 00:57:55,324
And I suppose pop rocks in soda's
1463
00:57:55,324 --> 00:57:57,128
gonna make my stomach blow up.
1464
00:57:57,128 --> 00:57:58,690
Ow!
1465
00:57:58,690 --> 00:58:01,370
Sir., I won't say I told you so sir.
1466
00:58:01,370 --> 00:58:02,203
Good.
1467
00:58:02,203 --> 00:58:03,872
I'd hate to make strawberry shortcake here
1468
00:58:03,872 --> 00:58:05,860
my new favorite private.
1469
00:58:05,860 --> 00:58:06,797
It's not pink!
1470
00:58:06,797 --> 00:58:08,533
It's lightish red!
1471
00:58:10,846 --> 00:58:15,846
Man this stuff does not come off easy.
1472
00:58:16,045 --> 00:58:19,050
Yeah, this was a lot easier when were cleaning
1473
00:58:19,050 --> 00:58:20,144
just my armor.
1474
00:58:20,144 --> 00:58:23,182
Yeah, I know, that's I think because, you know,
1475
00:58:23,182 --> 00:58:25,870
you didn't do anything.
1476
00:58:25,870 --> 00:58:27,120
I'm sorry, what?
1477
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:28,570
It's kind of hard to hear you over the sound
1478
00:58:28,570 --> 00:58:30,547
of your constant team killing.
1479
00:58:30,547 --> 00:58:33,464
(Caboose laughing)
1480
00:58:37,077 --> 00:58:38,810
Don't make me mad.
1481
00:58:38,810 --> 00:58:40,556
So what happened to me anyway?
1482
00:58:40,556 --> 00:58:43,640
I recall something about a spider on my head.
1483
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:45,350
Right, that was a grenade.
1484
00:58:45,350 --> 00:58:48,311
And the last thing I remember is a loud bang
1485
00:58:48,311 --> 00:58:49,873
and then Simmons fainting.
1486
00:58:49,873 --> 00:58:51,710
Ha, told you so.
1487
00:58:51,710 --> 00:58:52,963
I did not faint.
1488
00:58:53,965 --> 00:58:55,493
Done and done.
1489
00:58:56,506 --> 00:58:59,883
Lopez, activate speech unit.
1490
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:03,860
Buenos diaz, (speaking foreign language).
1491
00:59:12,292 --> 00:59:15,040
Am I the only one not understanding any of this?
1492
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:16,840
Me llamo es Lopez.
1493
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,120
Lopez, he just said, Lopez.
1494
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,000
I understood that.
1495
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,870
I can speak Spanish!
1496
00:59:22,870 --> 00:59:27,339
Lopez, speak English.
1497
00:59:27,339 --> 00:59:31,256
(speaking foreign language).
1498
00:59:34,026 --> 00:59:35,801
I think you shorted out his speech unit
1499
00:59:35,801 --> 00:59:37,940
with that static, sir.
1500
00:59:37,940 --> 00:59:41,170
Maybe princess peach here picked up the wrong model.
1501
00:59:41,170 --> 00:59:44,130
Seriously dude, for the last time, not pink.
1502
00:59:44,130 --> 00:59:49,130
Lopez, I order you to speak a language we understand.
1503
00:59:50,525 --> 00:59:51,810
Negativo.
1504
00:59:51,810 --> 00:59:54,219
Well, this is just dandy.
1505
00:59:54,219 --> 00:59:59,219
Lopez, how do we fix your speech unit?
1506
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:04,399
Why are you talking so slow?
1507
01:00:04,399 --> 01:00:06,410
He understands us just fine.
1508
01:00:06,410 --> 01:00:08,270
Maybe you should try listening slower.
1509
01:00:08,270 --> 01:00:11,118
Lopez, would you like to shoot Griff?
1510
01:00:11,118 --> 01:00:12,993
Si senor, gracias.
1511
01:00:14,875 --> 01:00:17,563
As far as I'm concerned, I'm square with you.
1512
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:20,670
I saved you from a life of imprisonment.
1513
01:00:20,670 --> 01:00:22,470
How the hell are you square with me?
1514
01:00:23,380 --> 01:00:26,793
Because I didn't kill you back at Sidewinder.
1515
01:00:27,990 --> 01:00:30,279
You know, I don't really see how not killing somebody
1516
01:00:30,279 --> 01:00:32,623
is the same thing as doing them a favor.
1517
01:00:33,460 --> 01:00:34,982
Well, if you don't appreciate it,
1518
01:00:34,982 --> 01:00:37,130
I could just kill you right now.
1519
01:00:37,130 --> 01:00:39,380
No you can't, I'm already dead bitch.
1520
01:00:39,380 --> 01:00:40,600
I guess the jokes on you.
1521
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:44,157
Stop it, stop fighting.
1522
01:00:44,157 --> 01:00:47,283
Can't you see that you're tearing us apart?
1523
01:00:48,130 --> 01:00:49,800
What about us?
1524
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:50,963
What about you?
1525
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:54,790
We helped you too, and what do we get?
1526
01:00:56,807 --> 01:00:57,670
Nothing!
1527
01:00:57,670 --> 01:00:58,792
Well, yeah, but.
1528
01:00:58,792 --> 01:01:00,370
Yeah, but nothing.
1529
01:01:00,370 --> 01:01:01,490
He's got a point.
1530
01:01:01,490 --> 01:01:03,510
I did help them get the flag back.
1531
01:01:03,510 --> 01:01:05,270
Yeah, but you were paid to do that.
1532
01:01:05,270 --> 01:01:07,080
We rescued you as a favor.
1533
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,130
We could've just let you rot in the red army prison.
1534
01:01:09,130 --> 01:01:11,210
It wouldn't have made any difference to us.
1535
01:01:11,210 --> 01:01:13,480
Fine, I'll stay here as long as it takes
1536
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:15,520
to help you guys win this thing.
1537
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:17,570
As soon as I have, I'm out of here.
1538
01:01:17,570 --> 01:01:19,415
What do you need me to do?
1539
01:01:19,415 --> 01:01:21,140
I have no idea.
1540
01:01:21,140 --> 01:01:24,260
If you knew how to fix a tank, I would have you do that.
1541
01:01:24,260 --> 01:01:25,093
Okay.
1542
01:01:25,093 --> 01:01:27,857
Wait, you know how to fix Sheila?
1543
01:01:29,340 --> 01:01:30,383
I love you.
1544
01:01:30,383 --> 01:01:34,216
(speaking foreign language)
1545
01:01:46,323 --> 01:01:48,590
Man, first he doesn't talk at all
1546
01:01:48,590 --> 01:01:50,100
and now we can't get him to shut up.
1547
01:01:50,100 --> 01:01:51,184
What's he saying?
1548
01:01:51,184 --> 01:01:52,950
What are you asking me for?
1549
01:01:52,950 --> 01:01:57,860
Well, you know, because you're of a Latino persuasion.
1550
01:01:57,860 --> 01:01:59,760
Simmons isn't a Spanish name you dumb ass.
1551
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:00,789
I'm Dutch Irish.
1552
01:02:00,789 --> 01:02:01,910
But I thought--
1553
01:02:01,910 --> 01:02:02,970
What?
1554
01:02:02,970 --> 01:02:03,823
Nevermind.
1555
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:06,993
I'm from Iowa.
1556
01:02:06,993 --> 01:02:08,492
[Griff And Simmons] Nobody cares.
1557
01:02:08,492 --> 01:02:10,909
(calm music)
1558
01:02:12,350 --> 01:02:13,980
Okay, take it easy guys.
1559
01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:15,900
When I was over at the red base,
1560
01:02:15,900 --> 01:02:17,960
I saw that they've already got their jeep fixed,
1561
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,460
so whatever you do, don't let 'em see us
1562
01:02:20,460 --> 01:02:23,330
before we get Sheila back online.
1563
01:02:23,330 --> 01:02:24,355
Okay, okay.
1564
01:02:24,355 --> 01:02:28,470
Even if we get Sheila fixed, how are we gonna turn her over?
1565
01:02:28,470 --> 01:02:30,870
I mean, it's not like as if we could just lift--
1566
01:02:32,070 --> 01:02:36,640
Oh, she is a very strong lady.
1567
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:37,860
I'm the one that's the least visible,
1568
01:02:37,860 --> 01:02:40,000
so I'm gonna head up here to higher ground.
1569
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,490
I'll keep an eye on the red base.
1570
01:02:41,490 --> 01:02:43,520
If I see anything, I'll let you know.
1571
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:45,640
Great, I'll come with you.
1572
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:47,885
That kind of defeats the purpose, Caboose.
1573
01:02:47,885 --> 01:02:52,885
Okay, what if I'm really, really quiet?
1574
01:02:55,270 --> 01:02:58,358
Do you even understand what the term visibility means?
1575
01:02:58,358 --> 01:03:02,680
(laughing) Good one, sir.
1576
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:05,710
Seriously, you don't know what it means do you?
1577
01:03:05,710 --> 01:03:06,543
No.
1578
01:03:06,543 --> 01:03:08,480
Caboose, just stay here man,
1579
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:11,363
and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that.
1580
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:13,417
Just watch the red base and tell us
1581
01:03:13,417 --> 01:03:14,633
if you see any movement.
1582
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:19,360
So I suppose if you're helping us,
1583
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,760
you're not as mean as I thought.
1584
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:23,420
I wouldn't say I'm mean,
1585
01:03:23,420 --> 01:03:25,480
I just get hired to do mean things.
1586
01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:26,908
Yeah, but you like it.
1587
01:03:26,908 --> 01:03:29,930
Well, I think it's important to enjoy what you do.
1588
01:03:29,930 --> 01:03:32,633
So let's say I paid you to kill Caboose.
1589
01:03:34,783 --> 01:03:36,678
You will still do it, right,
1590
01:03:36,678 --> 01:03:39,690
even though you're supposed to be helping us?
1591
01:03:39,690 --> 01:03:41,472
Is this a hypothetical discussion
1592
01:03:41,472 --> 01:03:43,710
or should we start talking numbers?
1593
01:03:43,710 --> 01:03:45,861
Yeah, I don't want to talk about this anymore.
1594
01:03:45,861 --> 01:03:46,705
Hey Tucker!
1595
01:03:46,705 --> 01:03:47,570
What?
1596
01:03:47,570 --> 01:03:50,540
What the hell is my body still doing up here?
1597
01:03:50,540 --> 01:03:52,220
That's part of being dead Church.
1598
01:03:52,220 --> 01:03:54,420
Your body doesn't really move around much anymore.
1599
01:03:54,420 --> 01:03:56,587
Maybe you haven't fully grasped the concept yet.
1600
01:03:56,587 --> 01:03:58,570
All right, well let me rephrase that then.
1601
01:03:58,570 --> 01:04:01,460
Why in the hell haven't you buried my body yet?
1602
01:04:01,460 --> 01:04:03,200
Buried, with what?
1603
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:05,220
All we have are pistols and rifles.
1604
01:04:05,220 --> 01:04:07,260
What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave?
1605
01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:09,350
Well then how about shipping me back home?
1606
01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:12,370
You know, let the loved ones pay a little respect.
1607
01:04:12,370 --> 01:04:15,220
Well Church, here's your girlfriend.
1608
01:04:15,220 --> 01:04:16,683
Tex as one of Church's loved ones,
1609
01:04:16,683 --> 01:04:18,623
would you like to pay your respects?
1610
01:04:21,690 --> 01:04:23,640
That was a stirring eulogy.
1611
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:25,023
Rest in peace good buddy.
1612
01:04:26,043 --> 01:04:28,460
(calm music)
1613
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,390
I am not happy about this.
1614
01:04:36,390 --> 01:04:37,443
I have an idea.
1615
01:04:40,310 --> 01:04:42,261
I have an idea!
1616
01:04:42,261 --> 01:04:44,690
Yeah we heard you the first time, Caboose.
1617
01:04:44,690 --> 01:04:45,810
We were just ignoring you.
1618
01:04:45,810 --> 01:04:50,520
If you possessed that red guy and took control of him,
1619
01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:54,850
why don't you just possess your own body?
1620
01:04:54,850 --> 01:04:57,466
Oh, I see, so that way I would be living inside
1621
01:04:57,466 --> 01:04:59,690
of my own dead body.
1622
01:04:59,690 --> 01:05:00,590
Yes.
1623
01:05:00,590 --> 01:05:01,552
Unable to move.
1624
01:05:01,552 --> 01:05:05,000
Just laying there rotting in the sun for all eternity.
1625
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,280
Yes.
1626
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:09,280
Okay Caboose, I'll be sure to get right on that.
1627
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:11,040
I think you are a mean ghost.
1628
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:12,930
Dude you really stink.
1629
01:05:12,930 --> 01:05:13,763
What?
1630
01:05:13,763 --> 01:05:16,050
Your body, it stinks.
1631
01:05:16,050 --> 01:05:17,832
Tucker, the first chance we get
1632
01:05:17,832 --> 01:05:20,370
you are going to bury my body.
1633
01:05:20,370 --> 01:05:21,500
Quit your bitching.
1634
01:05:21,500 --> 01:05:23,330
Nothing's going to happen to it.
1635
01:05:23,330 --> 01:05:24,942
It's a freaking indignity!
1636
01:05:24,942 --> 01:05:27,071
My body fought hard for this army
1637
01:05:27,071 --> 01:05:29,696
and it deserves to be laid to rest.
1638
01:05:29,696 --> 01:05:31,830
Get over it, you're already dead.
1639
01:05:31,830 --> 01:05:34,030
What's the worst that can happen now?
1640
01:05:34,030 --> 01:05:36,283
Hey Church, look birds.
1641
01:05:37,750 --> 01:05:39,680
Why are they flying around in circles?
1642
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:41,593
Oh God.
1643
01:05:42,510 --> 01:05:43,715
Okay, I'll go again.
1644
01:05:43,715 --> 01:05:48,715
I spy something that begins with--
1645
01:05:48,837 --> 01:05:49,808
Dirt.
1646
01:05:49,808 --> 01:05:50,987
Damn, how did you--
1647
01:05:50,987 --> 01:05:53,321
Well because he did rock last time.
1648
01:05:53,321 --> 01:05:56,253
That's all that's out here is rock and dirt.
1649
01:05:57,090 --> 01:05:59,380
Yeah, this canyon sucks.
1650
01:05:59,380 --> 01:06:01,755
How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?
1651
01:06:01,755 --> 01:06:03,410
Not much longer.
1652
01:06:03,410 --> 01:06:04,800
She said it's going pretty well.
1653
01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:05,800
The gun's almost working
1654
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,380
and then she'll get it moving again.
1655
01:06:07,380 --> 01:06:08,956
That's just fantastic.
1656
01:06:08,956 --> 01:06:10,363
Why would that upset you?
1657
01:06:10,363 --> 01:06:12,336
Because as soon as she gets the tank online,
1658
01:06:12,336 --> 01:06:13,984
she's gonna use it against the reds
1659
01:06:13,984 --> 01:06:15,960
and they're all going to die.
1660
01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:17,589
The reds dying is a good thing.
1661
01:06:17,589 --> 01:06:20,340
No, Tucker, it's not a good thing.
1662
01:06:20,340 --> 01:06:23,850
As soon as we beat the reds, Tex is outta here,
1663
01:06:23,850 --> 01:06:24,980
and I still haven't figured out a way
1664
01:06:24,980 --> 01:06:27,092
to get that AI out of her head.
1665
01:06:27,092 --> 01:06:28,520
AI.
1666
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:29,627
Shut up Caboose.
1667
01:06:29,627 --> 01:06:32,360
And if I don't get it out before she leaves--
1668
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:34,050
If she leaves you won't ever find her again.
1669
01:06:34,050 --> 01:06:34,883
Right.
1670
01:06:34,883 --> 01:06:36,000
So what are you gonna do?
1671
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:39,254
I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do.
1672
01:06:39,254 --> 01:06:42,600
I have to warn the reds before she fixes the tank.
1673
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:43,950
You're switching sides?
1674
01:06:43,950 --> 01:06:46,830
Sorry guys, I don't have much choice.
1675
01:06:46,830 --> 01:06:51,830
Church, what happens when the red's out here
1676
01:06:52,190 --> 01:06:57,190
to stop Tex and then they come also with guns
1677
01:06:57,970 --> 01:06:59,310
and may find us?
1678
01:06:59,310 --> 01:07:01,223
I'll try to help you as best I can.
1679
01:07:02,340 --> 01:07:03,173
Good luck guys.
1680
01:07:04,410 --> 01:07:06,880
Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?
1681
01:07:06,880 --> 01:07:08,530
I tell you what, kill me.
1682
01:07:08,530 --> 01:07:10,133
I promise not to come back.
1683
01:07:12,570 --> 01:07:16,070
Hey, look at this.
1684
01:07:16,070 --> 01:07:17,010
No.
1685
01:07:17,010 --> 01:07:19,380
They have a girl.
1686
01:07:19,380 --> 01:07:20,432
They have a girl.
1687
01:07:20,432 --> 01:07:21,265
A what?
1688
01:07:21,265 --> 01:07:22,493
A girl, a girl, look!
1689
01:07:23,570 --> 01:07:24,920
Pink armor!
1690
01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:27,202
Oh man, how come they get a girl?
1691
01:07:27,202 --> 01:07:29,739
You guys realize that I'm a chick, right,
1692
01:07:29,739 --> 01:07:32,157
and that I'm standing right here?
1693
01:07:32,157 --> 01:07:36,180
Yeah Tex, but when we say a girl, we mean a girl, girl.
1694
01:07:36,180 --> 01:07:37,837
And what the hell does that mean?
1695
01:07:37,837 --> 01:07:39,437
[Simmons And Caboose] Nothing.
1696
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:43,120
Wait a second.
1697
01:07:43,120 --> 01:07:44,960
If Tex heard that, do you think she heard
1698
01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:47,020
Church's secret plan to warn the reds about her?
1699
01:07:47,020 --> 01:07:52,020
I don't know, but I think I know how to find out.
1700
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:59,680
Hey, Tex, did you hear Church's secret plan
1701
01:08:00,992 --> 01:08:05,992
to tell the reds that you were fixing the tank?
1702
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:13,560
I don't think she knows.
1703
01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:18,857
(calm music)
1704
01:08:23,951 --> 01:08:24,964
Hey.
1705
01:08:24,964 --> 01:08:25,797
Yeah.
1706
01:08:25,797 --> 01:08:27,437
Do you ever wonder why we're here?
1707
01:08:28,287 --> 01:08:31,740
No, I never ever wonder why we're here.
1708
01:08:31,740 --> 01:08:33,269
Semper Fi bitch.
1709
01:08:33,269 --> 01:08:34,588
(Lopez stuttering)
1710
01:08:34,588 --> 01:08:35,850
What's wrong with Lopez?
1711
01:08:35,850 --> 01:08:37,170
I don't care.
1712
01:08:37,170 --> 01:08:39,288
Hey Lopez, you okay man?
1713
01:08:39,288 --> 01:08:43,205
{\an8}(speaking foreign language).
1714
01:08:49,812 --> 01:08:51,168
Sure.
1715
01:08:51,168 --> 01:08:55,001
{\an8}(speaking foreign language)
1716
01:08:56,633 --> 01:08:59,812
Ah crap, Caboose, she's almost done fixing Sheila.
1717
01:08:59,812 --> 01:09:02,643
I better radio Church and tell him what's going on.
1718
01:09:02,643 --> 01:09:05,543
Oh, oh, oh Tucker please, please, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker,
1719
01:09:05,543 --> 01:09:06,830
Tucker, please.
1720
01:09:06,830 --> 01:09:09,170
Yes you can be the one who radios Church.
1721
01:09:09,170 --> 01:09:10,323
Thanks man.
1722
01:09:11,536 --> 01:09:12,520
(radio whirring)
1723
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:17,028
Calling Church, come in Church.
1724
01:09:17,028 --> 01:09:22,028
This is your close personal friend, Private O'Malley.
1725
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:25,120
O'Malley, you said your name was Caboose.
1726
01:09:25,120 --> 01:09:26,936
I never said that, you guys did.
1727
01:09:26,936 --> 01:09:28,820
Why didn't you correct us?
1728
01:09:28,820 --> 01:09:31,490
Because I didn't want to be difficult.
1729
01:09:31,490 --> 01:09:34,937
Come in private Church, do you copy?
1730
01:09:34,937 --> 01:09:37,500
Soldier unit Tex almost has
1731
01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:41,260
the armored vehicle situation rectified.
1732
01:09:41,260 --> 01:09:46,260
Okay, we require verification of your mission-ness.
1733
01:09:49,020 --> 01:09:51,970
How is your progression?
1734
01:09:51,970 --> 01:09:55,733
{\an8}Caboose, (speaking foreign language)
1735
01:10:00,910 --> 01:10:02,970
He says he wants to talk to you.
1736
01:10:02,970 --> 01:10:04,070
Thank you for activating
1737
01:10:04,070 --> 01:10:07,529
the M808V main battle tank.
1738
01:10:07,529 --> 01:10:09,670
Oh shit, we got trouble.
1739
01:10:09,670 --> 01:10:12,783
Un tanque grande.
1740
01:10:14,379 --> 01:10:16,610
Hey, I think if you're gonna live in this country,
1741
01:10:16,610 --> 01:10:18,310
you should speak the language.
1742
01:10:18,310 --> 01:10:19,510
What country?
1743
01:10:19,510 --> 01:10:21,250
We're on an alien planet.
1744
01:10:21,250 --> 01:10:22,219
What are you a communist?
1745
01:10:22,219 --> 01:10:23,052
(canon firing)
1746
01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:24,179
Son of a bitch!
1747
01:10:24,179 --> 01:10:25,012
Son of a bitch!
1748
01:10:25,012 --> 01:10:26,345
{\an8}Madre de dios!
1749
01:10:27,610 --> 01:10:30,140
Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people
1750
01:10:30,140 --> 01:10:32,130
what's going on through that sniper rifle.
1751
01:10:32,130 --> 01:10:33,935
Church is getting mad at us.
1752
01:10:33,935 --> 01:10:37,224
Oh, well that's a nice change of pace.
1753
01:10:37,224 --> 01:10:40,630
Simmons, I'm coming around in the warthog.
1754
01:10:40,630 --> 01:10:43,420
Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by.
1755
01:10:43,420 --> 01:10:44,868
Roger that.
1756
01:10:44,868 --> 01:10:46,687
I'll stay here.
1757
01:10:46,687 --> 01:10:50,140
Yeah, stay here and guard this cement ramp.
1758
01:10:50,140 --> 01:10:51,893
It's vital to our success.
1759
01:10:53,830 --> 01:10:55,190
All right, I'm on board.
1760
01:10:55,190 --> 01:10:57,212
All right, here's the plan.
1761
01:10:57,212 --> 01:10:59,795
(canon firing)
1762
01:11:01,970 --> 01:11:03,610
Wow, back so soon?
1763
01:11:03,610 --> 01:11:05,740
You guys win the war all ready?
1764
01:11:05,740 --> 01:11:07,310
Yeah, did you want to finish telling me
1765
01:11:07,310 --> 01:11:08,690
the plan now, Sarge?
1766
01:11:08,690 --> 01:11:13,020
If we survive this, I'm gonna kill both of ya, slowly.
1767
01:11:16,020 --> 01:11:19,050
Hey Simmons, by the way, the ramp is secure.
1768
01:11:19,050 --> 01:11:20,205
Target locked.
1769
01:11:20,205 --> 01:11:21,520
(canon firing)
1770
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:23,580
Hey, what are you guys doing up here?
1771
01:11:23,580 --> 01:11:25,360
That chick in the black armor's back.
1772
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:26,193
What chick?
1773
01:11:26,193 --> 01:11:28,360
The one that stuck the grenade to my head?
1774
01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:29,470
That's the one.
1775
01:11:29,470 --> 01:11:30,650
The same chick who's fault it is
1776
01:11:30,650 --> 01:11:32,670
that I'm stuck in this light red armor.
1777
01:11:32,670 --> 01:11:34,880
Donut, I understand the need to safeguard
1778
01:11:34,880 --> 01:11:37,576
your masculinity, but really man it's a whole lot faster
1779
01:11:37,576 --> 01:11:38,790
just to say pink.
1780
01:11:38,790 --> 01:11:41,163
Oh, oh, I've been waiting for this.
1781
01:11:42,181 --> 01:11:43,014
Hey bitch, remember me?
1782
01:11:44,208 --> 01:11:46,037
I saved something for ya!
1783
01:11:55,990 --> 01:11:59,313
Man that girl's got a really good arm.
1784
01:12:00,795 --> 01:12:02,700
Oh crap.
1785
01:12:02,700 --> 01:12:06,425
Hell yeah, three points you dirty whore.
1786
01:12:06,425 --> 01:12:07,985
(Sheila exploding)
1787
01:12:07,985 --> 01:12:09,235
Dios mio, no!
1788
01:12:11,622 --> 01:12:13,303
Texas, Texas!
1789
01:12:13,303 --> 01:12:15,300
Where's Lopez going?
1790
01:12:15,300 --> 01:12:17,050
To fight the enemy head on
1791
01:12:17,050 --> 01:12:20,983
in hand to hand combat, mano e mano.
1792
01:12:22,090 --> 01:12:25,190
What a brave little compadre.
1793
01:12:25,190 --> 01:12:29,093
Lopez, I never understood a word you said,
1794
01:12:29,093 --> 01:12:31,810
but I do know one thing.
1795
01:12:31,810 --> 01:12:33,243
You hated Griff,
1796
01:12:33,243 --> 01:12:37,530
and that's the most important thing there is.
1797
01:12:37,530 --> 01:12:41,650
Adios amigo, adios.
1798
01:12:41,650 --> 01:12:43,160
Shouldn't we help him?
1799
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:46,943
Nah, that would just ruin the moment.
1800
01:12:48,490 --> 01:12:50,706
Church, is that you?
1801
01:12:50,706 --> 01:12:52,485
It's gone Church.
1802
01:12:52,485 --> 01:12:54,223
The AI, it's gone.
1803
01:12:55,090 --> 01:12:55,923
Thank you.
1804
01:12:58,360 --> 01:13:00,900
Crap, Church is gonna be pissed
1805
01:13:00,900 --> 01:13:03,220
and now he's got a body to kick our ass.
1806
01:13:03,220 --> 01:13:05,220
Come on Caboose, let's get back to base.
1807
01:13:06,130 --> 01:13:08,663
I told you my name isn't Caboose.
1808
01:13:10,850 --> 01:13:13,330
My name is O'Malley
1809
01:13:15,759 --> 01:13:18,176
(calm music)
1810
01:13:41,603 --> 01:13:46,603
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1811
01:13:46,690 --> 01:13:51,690
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1812
01:13:51,884 --> 01:13:56,884
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1813
01:13:57,267 --> 01:14:02,267
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1814
01:14:02,594 --> 01:14:07,594
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1815
01:14:07,848 --> 01:14:12,682
♪ I somehow knew you were there ♪
1816
01:14:12,682 --> 01:14:17,682
♪ Looking like you didn't care ♪
1817
01:14:17,775 --> 01:14:22,775
♪ I reach for the change in my pocket ♪
1818
01:14:23,015 --> 01:14:27,348
♪ I counted the change in my pocket ♪
1819
01:14:28,740 --> 01:14:31,157
(calm music)
1820
01:14:38,981 --> 01:14:43,846
♪ I wanted to buy you a beer ♪
1821
01:14:43,846 --> 01:14:48,844
♪ I knew that you were somewhere near ♪
1822
01:14:48,844 --> 01:14:53,844
♪ The bartender said it's okay ♪
1823
01:14:54,500 --> 01:14:58,417
♪ The bartender said it's okay ♪
1824
01:15:00,036 --> 01:15:02,619
(upbeat music)
1825
01:15:20,985 --> 01:15:30,952
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1826
01:15:31,084 --> 01:15:36,084
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1827
01:15:36,315 --> 01:15:41,315
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1828
01:15:41,788 --> 01:15:51,530
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1829
01:15:51,883 --> 01:15:56,883
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
1830
01:15:57,028 --> 01:16:00,278
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
127978
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