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1
00:00:07,653 --> 00:00:12,203
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
2
00:00:47,149 --> 00:00:50,673
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
3
00:01:01,051 --> 00:01:03,614
[ Man ] No one can ever say
that our last episode
was a total loss.
4
00:01:03,645 --> 00:01:05,632
For as you remember,
we learned
beyond a doubt--
5
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:07,491
- [ Typing ]
- that Bullwinkle really takes the cake...
6
00:01:07,522 --> 00:01:08,900
when it comes
to baking a cake.
7
00:01:08,932 --> 00:01:10,694
What do you mean,
where are the onions?
8
00:01:10,726 --> 00:01:12,680
I thought you were
baking a cake, Bullwinkle.
9
00:01:12,711 --> 00:01:15,082
Well, pity sakes,
I am, but--
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
10
00:01:17,004 --> 00:01:20,143
- You put onions in a cake?
- [ Bullwinkle, Indistinct ]
11
00:01:20,176 --> 00:01:21,968
No. And we're
out of onions.
12
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,595
You used the last one
on your corn flakes
this morning.
13
00:01:24,628 --> 00:01:27,063
- Darn!
- [ Typing Continues ]
14
00:01:34,717 --> 00:01:37,474
- [ Laughs ]
- [ Man Laughing ]
15
00:01:38,593 --> 00:01:41,189
Kid, this stuff is funny.
16
00:01:41,221 --> 00:01:43,111
Funny, funny,
funny, funny, funny!
17
00:01:43,143 --> 00:01:47,018
The only thing is,
it ain't "chicken" funny.
18
00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:49,646
- But, Mr. Marvin--
- I got an image, kid, see?
19
00:01:49,678 --> 00:01:51,505
I gotta be careful
about my material.
20
00:01:51,536 --> 00:01:54,163
Mr. Marvin, your ex-wife.
She wants the poodle
for Sunday.
21
00:01:54,195 --> 00:01:56,789
Her poodle day is Saturday.
She knows that.
Negative!
22
00:01:56,821 --> 00:01:59,480
Mr. Marvin,
I know I could have
some chicken-funny jokes...
23
00:01:59,512 --> 00:02:01,787
- by next week, if you
could just advance--
- Next week? Next week?
24
00:02:01,819 --> 00:02:03,676
Kid, in this biz you
gotta be faster than that.
25
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,565
Mr. Marvin, your analyst
called. Wants to cancel
today's session.
26
00:02:05,598 --> 00:02:07,135
- Why?
- He's too depressed!
27
00:02:07,166 --> 00:02:10,403
- [ Laughs ]
- Get outta here, you moron.
[ Groans ]
28
00:02:12,356 --> 00:02:15,784
kid, let me give you
some advice.
29
00:02:15,817 --> 00:02:17,961
You're gonna have
a lot of doors slam
in your face.
30
00:02:17,994 --> 00:02:19,757
You gotta stick with it.
31
00:02:19,788 --> 00:02:22,511
Persevere.
Don't take no
from anybody.
32
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:25,682
- Then you'll use my stuff?
- No.
33
00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:31,576
- [ People Laughing On TV ]
- [ Man On TV ]
Countersign: Salt Lake City.
34
00:02:31,607 --> 00:02:33,371
Come on in, 99.
The door is open.
35
00:02:33,402 --> 00:02:35,421
- [ People Laughing ]
- Hey, Max.
36
00:02:35,451 --> 00:02:38,624
99, what are you
doing here?
It's after 10:00.
37
00:02:38,656 --> 00:02:41,155
Oh, I was restless
and I thought
I'd take a walk.
38
00:02:41,187 --> 00:02:43,972
[ Man, Lower Volume ]
You should be careful.
It's not safe for a girl--
39
00:02:44,005 --> 00:02:46,728
- [ Tape Rewinds ]
- [ Man ] This is Herb from the Eagle Finance Company.
40
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,074
This is positively
your last warning.
41
00:02:48,105 --> 00:02:50,572
- It's called pay up or pick up.
- [ Tape Rewinds ]
42
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,653
[ Woman ]
Billy, this is Mama.
43
00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:54,223
Are you eatin' good?
44
00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:55,537
You eatin' your vegetables?
45
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:58,771
- Are you takin' your vitamins?
- [ Tape Rewinds ]
46
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,968
[ Woman ] Billy,
this is Mrs. Luthaker,
your landlady.
47
00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:05,788
Remember me?
You know, the witch!
48
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,421
Either you pay your rent
by Wednesday...
49
00:03:07,452 --> 00:03:08,798
or your butt's
on the sidewalk.
50
00:03:08,829 --> 00:03:10,592
And turn that TV off!
51
00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:12,481
It's on night and day.
You--
52
00:03:12,513 --> 00:03:14,629
- [ Stops ]
- [ Sighs ]
53
00:03:21,387 --> 00:03:22,925
Suppertime.
54
00:03:24,527 --> 00:03:26,672
You're lucky
I'm not a vegetarian.
55
00:03:26,703 --> 00:03:28,786
Otherwise, I might eat you.
56
00:03:32,663 --> 00:03:34,297
[ Phone Rings ]
57
00:03:37,532 --> 00:03:39,261
- Hello?
- Billy Burliss?
58
00:03:39,292 --> 00:03:40,638
[ Laughing ]
Hey, hey!
59
00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:43,136
It's a pleasure to speak
to a man with talent.
60
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:46,085
This is Dick Castel
over at Easy Come, Easy Go.
61
00:03:46,116 --> 00:03:49,447
I was just cleaning out
my desk when I came across
your script.
62
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,227
Funny, guy. Very funny.
63
00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:56,078
Listen, Billy,
one of our writers
was just committed,
64
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,808
and we need to find
a replacement pronto.
65
00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:01,780
Have you got a sample
three-camera, family-hour
sitcom script I could read?
66
00:04:01,813 --> 00:04:03,702
Uh, no, not really.
67
00:04:03,734 --> 00:04:06,297
Too bad, babe.
We make our decision
tomorrow.
68
00:04:06,328 --> 00:04:07,676
Tomorrow?
69
00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:11,133
Okay.
I'll write one tonight.
70
00:04:11,165 --> 00:04:13,441
Tonight?
In one night?
71
00:04:13,472 --> 00:04:15,042
In 23 years I've never--
72
00:04:15,074 --> 00:04:18,085
Just give me a chance.
I'm sure I can do it.
73
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:21,447
I'll see you first thing
tomorrow morning.
74
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,562
- Ciao, dude.
- Ciao.
75
00:04:25,676 --> 00:04:27,790
Yeah!
76
00:04:30,098 --> 00:04:31,442
Yes!
77
00:04:32,371 --> 00:04:33,363
Ahh!
78
00:04:33,395 --> 00:04:35,094
High five, Louie!
79
00:04:35,126 --> 00:04:38,203
?? [ Scatting ]
80
00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:42,590
Billy Burliss has
done it again, folks.
81
00:04:42,621 --> 00:04:44,158
[ Shouts ]
82
00:04:44,190 --> 00:04:46,499
?? [ Scatting ]
83
00:04:46,531 --> 00:04:48,933
Mrs. Luthaker,
you'll get your rent.
84
00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:52,200
Witch!
85
00:04:52,232 --> 00:04:54,218
?? [ Scatting ]
86
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,524
?? [ Imitates Guitar ]
87
00:04:56,556 --> 00:05:00,465
?? [ Scatting ]
Billy Burliss.
88
00:05:01,584 --> 00:05:02,995
Yeah!
89
00:05:04,116 --> 00:05:05,973
[ Slow Typing ]
90
00:05:13,822 --> 00:05:17,827
[ Sighs ]
Face it, Billy.
You're too slow.
91
00:05:17,857 --> 00:05:19,780
Too slow.
92
00:05:21,253 --> 00:05:24,937
You haven't even finished
the first half
of the first act.
93
00:05:26,058 --> 00:05:27,500
He's right.
94
00:05:27,531 --> 00:05:30,320
A sitcom can't be written
in one night.
95
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,034
Not by me, anyway.
96
00:05:35,573 --> 00:05:36,919
[ Sighs ]
97
00:05:46,494 --> 00:05:48,546
Sent by special messenger,
no less.
98
00:05:48,576 --> 00:05:52,101
Hey. I haven't
forgotten a birthday
or an anniversary, have I?
99
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:54,633
- Of course not. I wouldn't let you.
- [ Sighs ]
100
00:05:54,665 --> 00:05:56,618
[ People Laughing ]
101
00:05:56,649 --> 00:05:58,508
[ Beeping ]
102
00:06:00,813 --> 00:06:02,383
[ Line Ringing ]
103
00:06:02,414 --> 00:06:03,920
- [ Woman ]
Easy Come, Easy Go.
- Hello.
104
00:06:03,953 --> 00:06:07,413
Um, Mr. Dick Castel please.
105
00:06:07,445 --> 00:06:09,239
Uh, Billy Burliss calling.
106
00:06:09,271 --> 00:06:10,679
[ Castel ]
Yo, Billy.
107
00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:13,210
Uh, hello, um, Mr. Castel.
108
00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:16,222
Uh, I-I won't be
coming by today.
109
00:06:16,254 --> 00:06:18,431
Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that, guy.
110
00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:23,492
Yeah, well,
I guess I'm just not--
111
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:27,722
Billy? Hey, Billy,
are you there?
112
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,488
Billy?
113
00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:39,093
Hey, my man. Billy?
114
00:06:39,124 --> 00:06:41,014
Are you there?
115
00:06:41,045 --> 00:06:43,737
Hello? Hello?
116
00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:46,109
Hello.
117
00:06:47,164 --> 00:06:48,703
This is good.
118
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:51,457
[ Laughs ]
119
00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:53,827
[ Laughing ]
120
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:02,315
As a matter of fact,
it's great. And so fast.
121
00:07:02,348 --> 00:07:04,880
I never heard of a script
being written so fast.
122
00:07:04,911 --> 00:07:05,905
- You?
- Me?
123
00:07:05,936 --> 00:07:07,154
- Yeah.
- Never.
124
00:07:08,275 --> 00:07:09,844
Kid, you're a genius.
125
00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:11,894
I have a script here
that needs a total rewrite.
126
00:07:11,925 --> 00:07:14,489
We start shooting
first thing
in the morning.
127
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:17,597
For you--
[ Laughing ]
it should be a breeze.
128
00:07:19,326 --> 00:07:22,721
I'm in love
with a girl named
Thalia Menninger.
129
00:07:22,753 --> 00:07:25,476
A beautiful girl,
a fine girl.
130
00:07:25,507 --> 00:07:28,102
The only trouble is
she likes money.
131
00:07:28,134 --> 00:07:30,249
- Who's there?
- Now she's not a gold digger, mind you.
132
00:07:30,281 --> 00:07:32,907
No, no. She's just
kind of greedy,
133
00:07:32,939 --> 00:07:36,976
grasping, avaricious,
mean, selfish, miserly.
134
00:07:37,008 --> 00:07:39,379
Fine girl, you understand.
Wonderful girl.
135
00:07:39,411 --> 00:07:40,884
Whoever you are,
you can come out now.
136
00:07:40,915 --> 00:07:43,927
Unfortunately,
I haven't got money.
137
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,291
What I've got is love.
Boy, have I got love.
138
00:07:47,321 --> 00:07:50,461
I really liked the stuff.
I did.
139
00:07:50,493 --> 00:07:52,543
Do you think
Thalia's impressed?
140
00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:56,933
No, she keeps making eyes
at Milton Armitage.
141
00:08:18,137 --> 00:08:19,514
[ Sighs ]
142
00:08:19,547 --> 00:08:21,374
Some piece of cake.
143
00:08:25,312 --> 00:08:27,396
[ Whispering ]
What am I gonna do?
144
00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:45,079
Drat!
145
00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:47,319
Where's the blot-out?
146
00:08:56,738 --> 00:08:59,172
- Thanks.
- [ Rattling ]
147
00:09:00,772 --> 00:09:02,310
Aaah!
148
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,689
[ Groans ]
149
00:09:17,461 --> 00:09:18,808
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
150
00:09:38,635 --> 00:09:40,621
[ Billy ]
"Plague,
151
00:09:40,653 --> 00:09:41,999
plane,
152
00:09:43,503 --> 00:09:45,458
plankton, plants."
153
00:09:45,491 --> 00:09:49,110
"Clerodendrum receptivus.
154
00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,063
Rapid dragon vine.
155
00:09:52,152 --> 00:09:54,139
Common variety
of leafy floral...
156
00:09:54,171 --> 00:09:58,144
that requires little water,
but inordinate amounts
of sunlight."
157
00:09:58,175 --> 00:10:00,226
Sunlight?
158
00:10:00,258 --> 00:10:02,564
But you don't get
any sunlight.
159
00:10:02,596 --> 00:10:04,743
The only light you get
is from--
160
00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:10,797
[ TV Audience Laughs ]
161
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:14,544
[ Applause ]
162
00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:20,822
I don't believe this.
163
00:10:20,855 --> 00:10:22,489
[ Man ]
The painter's almost
finished the mantel.
164
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:25,693
Almost finished?
Almost finished?
165
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:27,870
It is finished.
That's it!
166
00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:29,601
He likes it that way.
167
00:10:29,632 --> 00:10:31,522
He thinks
it's a work of art.
168
00:10:31,554 --> 00:10:33,990
He's even signed
the darn thing.
169
00:10:37,447 --> 00:10:40,203
[ Man ]
So think of it
as a conversation piece.
170
00:10:40,234 --> 00:10:42,413
[ Laughter Continues ]
171
00:10:42,445 --> 00:10:45,809
Billy Burliss.
Barry Wernick,
Associated Agents.
172
00:10:45,839 --> 00:10:48,915
- Uh, bu--
- Shh, shh, shh. Don't talk.
Save it for a script.
173
00:10:48,946 --> 00:10:50,644
If you're as fast
as they say,
174
00:10:50,676 --> 00:10:52,855
I'm gonna have you
the hottest writer in town.
175
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,002
- But-- But I--
- Oh, work with me,
Billy, will ya?
176
00:11:00,479 --> 00:11:02,498
[ Laughing ]
177
00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:22,326
I knew that last punch
was gonna work.
178
00:11:22,357 --> 00:11:24,664
I knew it. I knew it.
I knew it. I knew it.
179
00:11:34,851 --> 00:11:40,745
...because she always
invites your ex-boyfriends
to dinner.
180
00:11:41,289 --> 00:11:43,532
That's it. Yeah.
181
00:11:44,716 --> 00:11:46,094
[ Billy ]
Yeah.
182
00:11:46,126 --> 00:11:48,720
But I like this color.
I've gotten used to it.
183
00:11:48,753 --> 00:11:51,700
But, honey love,
you're color blind!
184
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,253
There. Ahh.
185
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:03,776
A little more room
to wiggle your toes in.
186
00:12:03,809 --> 00:12:06,179
And how do you like
the new TV?
187
00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:09,414
Color. Color.
[ Chuckles ]
188
00:12:10,822 --> 00:12:14,283
Well, pal,
I owe it all to you.
189
00:12:14,313 --> 00:12:16,621
I couldn't have
done it without you.
190
00:12:18,126 --> 00:12:21,330
You know,
you're my best friend.
191
00:12:28,696 --> 00:12:31,131
Look, I was thinkin'.
192
00:12:31,164 --> 00:12:33,117
You need a name.
193
00:12:33,149 --> 00:12:35,776
Maybe something
distinguishing like...
194
00:12:36,737 --> 00:12:38,691
F. Scott Philodendron.
195
00:12:41,157 --> 00:12:42,183
Okay. Okay.
196
00:12:42,214 --> 00:12:45,131
What about
uh, Leaf Ericson?
197
00:12:47,564 --> 00:12:49,359
Andy Devine?
198
00:12:51,408 --> 00:12:53,363
What would you like?
199
00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:16,811
Well, I'll be.
200
00:13:16,842 --> 00:13:18,283
Lucy.
201
00:13:18,315 --> 00:13:19,886
[ Man ]
How about that, folks?
202
00:13:19,918 --> 00:13:21,487
Is that entertainment
or what?
203
00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:22,992
Come on, let's
put our hands together...
204
00:13:23,024 --> 00:13:26,002
and hear it for
the funniest show on TV,
205
00:13:26,034 --> 00:13:28,919
Easy Come, Easy Go.
206
00:13:31,513 --> 00:13:33,562
[ Billy ]
Change the channel.
Change the channel.
207
00:13:33,594 --> 00:13:35,003
- Hi, neighbor.
- This is it. This is it.
208
00:13:35,037 --> 00:13:37,857
- Turn it up. Turn it up.
- [ Man ] Welcome to Easy Come--
209
00:13:37,888 --> 00:13:40,193
- [ Woman ]
Easy Go.
- Don't drink so fast.
210
00:13:40,225 --> 00:13:44,135
- [ Woman, Indistinct ]
- The timing on this joke
right here was all wrong.
211
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,865
Now this next joke,
this works.
212
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:49,357
[ Laughing ]
213
00:13:49,388 --> 00:13:51,021
[ Man ]
I don't know
if I can do that.
214
00:13:51,054 --> 00:13:52,975
[ Woman ]
You guys'll
have to carry it.
215
00:13:53,007 --> 00:13:54,737
Billy. Billy.
216
00:13:54,769 --> 00:13:57,589
Billy, my man!
There he is!
217
00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:00,951
We were in the neighborhood
and just had to drop by
and say hello.
218
00:14:00,982 --> 00:14:02,809
[ Laughing ]
219
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:04,249
These are my pals. Georgio.
220
00:14:04,281 --> 00:14:05,885
[ Georgio ]
You are a genius.
A genius!
221
00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:07,743
- [ Wernick ]
That's Oliver.
- [ Man ] Very pleased.
222
00:14:07,774 --> 00:14:10,177
[ Wernick ] And last--
[ Laughs ]
but certainly not least, Tina.
223
00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:12,100
Oh, we're so happy
for you, Billy.
224
00:14:12,131 --> 00:14:15,303
Uh, it was really nice
of you guys to drop by,
225
00:14:15,334 --> 00:14:17,353
but I have a awful lot
of work to do.
226
00:14:17,385 --> 00:14:18,730
Kid, enough.
227
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,651
All work and no play?
228
00:14:20,683 --> 00:14:22,766
I think it's time
to party.
229
00:14:22,798 --> 00:14:25,872
- [ Tina ] We're dying
to corrupt you, Billy.
- He'll come around.
230
00:14:25,905 --> 00:14:27,540
[ Wernick ]
Listen to her, kid.
She can do it.
231
00:14:27,571 --> 00:14:30,806
- [ Whispering ]
Lucy, stop it.
- [ Tina Giggles ]
232
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,343
These are party people.
233
00:14:33,336 --> 00:14:35,867
Uh, I'd really like to--
234
00:14:37,116 --> 00:14:39,007
- Okay.
- [ Wernick ]
All right. Yeah!
235
00:14:39,038 --> 00:14:40,992
Where are you taking
that cute plant?
236
00:14:41,024 --> 00:14:42,595
Uh, it needs air.
237
00:14:42,626 --> 00:14:44,195
[ Tina ]
Air?
238
00:14:44,227 --> 00:14:46,149
- [ Wernick ]
Oh, Billy, come on.
- Would you stop?
239
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:48,456
These are my friends too.
I'm just gonna party
a little bit.
240
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,602
[ Wernick ]
Are you okay out there?
Or what's the problem?
241
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:52,332
- I'll be right there.
- [ Tina ]
Okay.
242
00:14:52,363 --> 00:14:54,062
[ Georgio ]
Party!
243
00:14:55,117 --> 00:14:56,944
Lucy, would you stop?
Would you stop?
244
00:14:56,976 --> 00:14:59,507
Why are you acting this way?
Why?
245
00:15:00,498 --> 00:15:02,967
These are my friends too.
It's just a dance.
246
00:15:02,999 --> 00:15:04,952
We're just gonna party
for a little bit. Lucy--
247
00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:06,714
Would you--
Will you stop?
248
00:15:06,746 --> 00:15:08,317
I'll be right back.
249
00:15:08,348 --> 00:15:09,790
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
250
00:15:10,815 --> 00:15:12,960
[ Guests Chattering ]
251
00:15:15,139 --> 00:15:16,485
[ Billy ]
I'm ready.
252
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:19,333
[ Oliver ]
There he is.
There's the guy. Yeah!
253
00:15:19,365 --> 00:15:20,712
- Let's go.
- [ Billy ]
Let's go. Party!
254
00:15:20,744 --> 00:15:24,268
- [ Wernick ]
Come on, Georgio.
- [ Georgio ] S�, s�, s�.
255
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,837
[ Door Shuts ]
256
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:29,683
[ Cat Mewing ]
257
00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:33,397
[ Pot Shatters ]
258
00:15:33,429 --> 00:15:35,224
[ Mewing Continues ]
259
00:15:44,385 --> 00:15:45,922
[ Man On TV ]
I'm gonna handle this.
260
00:15:45,954 --> 00:15:48,677
Toody'll wind up organizing
a committee for it.
261
00:15:48,707 --> 00:15:50,120
Yes, sir.
262
00:15:51,078 --> 00:15:52,649
[ Groans ]
263
00:15:55,628 --> 00:15:57,294
[ Spits ]
264
00:15:57,325 --> 00:15:58,799
Party.
265
00:16:00,402 --> 00:16:02,003
[ Groans ]
266
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,007
Time to wake up, Lucy.
267
00:16:08,024 --> 00:16:09,786
[ Groaning ]
268
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,816
We're under contract
to half the city.
269
00:16:16,064 --> 00:16:17,603
Lucy?
270
00:16:23,784 --> 00:16:25,322
It hurt me.
271
00:16:26,154 --> 00:16:27,500
[ Sighs ]
272
00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:32,818
[ Vehicle Rumbling ]
273
00:16:39,705 --> 00:16:41,595
[ Crunching ]
274
00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:45,568
Lucy!
275
00:18:26,533 --> 00:18:28,713
[ Chattering ]
276
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,348
- [ Indistinct ]
- [ Laughing ]
277
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:43,031
- Who is on first.
- What are you asking me for? I'm--
278
00:18:45,723 --> 00:18:47,900
[ Indistinct ]
279
00:18:47,930 --> 00:18:49,630
What's the guy's name
on first base?
280
00:18:49,663 --> 00:18:51,521
- What's on second!
- I'm not asking you--
281
00:19:06,798 --> 00:19:09,490
We were a great team,
weren't we?
282
00:19:09,522 --> 00:19:13,334
You know, Lucy, I never
realized how much fun
we had together--
283
00:19:13,364 --> 00:19:16,345
writing scripts,
watching TV.
284
00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:19,196
You were special.
285
00:19:20,221 --> 00:19:22,015
You were my friend.
286
00:19:23,167 --> 00:19:28,644
You even tried to warn me
about life in the fast lane,
287
00:19:28,675 --> 00:19:30,087
how it would change me.
288
00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:32,939
And what did I do?
289
00:19:33,929 --> 00:19:35,470
I ignored you.
290
00:19:40,529 --> 00:19:42,323
[ Sighs ]
Well, I better get back now,
291
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,302
try to go on.
292
00:19:47,192 --> 00:19:49,049
Maybe something
good'll crop up.
293
00:20:01,318 --> 00:20:02,280
Lucy?
294
00:20:09,006 --> 00:20:09,968
Lucy?
295
00:20:15,061 --> 00:20:16,918
Lucy!
296
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:24,318
Yes, we're scheduled
for 13 weeks
following the pilot.
297
00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:26,369
[ Chuckles ]
No, we're no longer--
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
298
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,794
...Mr. Burliss.
Those letters were
completed this morning.
299
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:31,718
The scripts
are being sent out now.
300
00:20:31,749 --> 00:20:34,633
As you requested,
I declined
the European junket.
301
00:20:34,665 --> 00:20:36,588
I sent regrets
for the gala premiere,
302
00:20:36,618 --> 00:20:38,829
and frankly, Mr. Burliss,
maybe getting
out of the house...
303
00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:41,135
for one of these events
wouldn't be a bad idea.
304
00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:44,658
Okay, girls,
let's hurry up!
305
00:20:44,691 --> 00:20:46,839
I Love Lucy reruns tonight!
306
00:20:48,503 --> 00:20:50,713
Lucy Mae, let's do it.
307
00:20:51,770 --> 00:20:54,238
Lucy Lee, Lucy Ellen--
I loved the rewrites.
308
00:20:54,268 --> 00:20:55,453
Loved it!
309
00:20:55,486 --> 00:20:58,337
What have you got for me,
Lucy Alice?
310
00:20:58,368 --> 00:21:00,450
[ Laughing ]
311
00:21:00,482 --> 00:21:03,847
I love this!
I love this!
312
00:21:03,878 --> 00:21:06,856
"I'm not the pizza boy.
I'm not the pizza boy."
313
00:21:06,888 --> 00:21:08,554
I love it. I love--
This is timing.
314
00:21:08,586 --> 00:21:10,830
Look at this.
This is timing.
315
00:21:10,862 --> 00:21:12,623
Yes! Yes! Yes!
316
00:21:12,654 --> 00:21:14,001
Let's work.
1
00:00:07,679 --> 00:00:12,243
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
2
00:00:47,306 --> 00:00:50,843
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
3
00:01:00,515 --> 00:01:02,799
[ Woman ]
Billy!
4
00:01:02,831 --> 00:01:05,081
Billy!
5
00:01:05,113 --> 00:01:06,784
There you are!
6
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,743
Where do you think
you're going?
7
00:01:08,776 --> 00:01:10,672
- [ Billy ]
Out.
- Out where?
8
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:13,661
- Outside!
- Have you done something
around the house?
9
00:01:13,693 --> 00:01:15,590
- It's Saturday!
- And on Saturdays,
10
00:01:15,623 --> 00:01:17,743
you have to help
around the house
before you can go out.
11
00:01:17,775 --> 00:01:20,443
The rug needs vacuuming.
You can vacuum the rug.
12
00:01:20,475 --> 00:01:21,503
Mom!
13
00:01:21,536 --> 00:01:23,271
The vacuum's
in the closet.
14
00:01:23,302 --> 00:01:25,970
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
15
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:26,839
[ Door Closes ]
16
00:01:26,871 --> 00:01:29,153
I don't know why
I put up with this stuff.
17
00:01:29,185 --> 00:01:31,692
Chip Bunster doesn't
have to vacuum.
18
00:01:31,723 --> 00:01:33,941
Mike Wilmot doesn't
have to vacuum.
19
00:01:33,973 --> 00:01:36,704
Oh, vacuuming
makes me barf.
20
00:01:36,736 --> 00:01:39,084
Where's the stupid
vacuum cleaner anyway?
21
00:01:39,115 --> 00:01:41,366
[ Items Rattling ]
22
00:01:45,414 --> 00:01:49,240
[ Vacuum Whirring ]
23
00:01:50,557 --> 00:01:52,101
[ Yelps ]
24
00:02:08,811 --> 00:02:10,357
[ Whimpering ]
25
00:02:11,867 --> 00:02:14,052
[ Vacuum Stops ]
26
00:02:14,084 --> 00:02:17,364
- [ Cheering On TV ]
- [ Man On TV ] Would you look at that?
27
00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:21,927
[ Whirring ]
28
00:02:26,651 --> 00:02:29,255
[ Man On TV Continues, Indistinct ]
29
00:02:29,285 --> 00:02:31,375
[ Chuckles ]
30
00:02:43,555 --> 00:02:45,034
[ Man On TV ]
...with the Wombats.
31
00:02:45,066 --> 00:02:50,466
Running, passing,
I, for one am really
surprised at this game.
32
00:02:50,499 --> 00:02:53,295
- Those Wombats just creamed their last opponent.
- [ Toots ]
33
00:02:53,326 --> 00:02:55,768
But today's another story.
34
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:58,469
[ Sniffs ]
35
00:02:58,501 --> 00:03:01,522
Well, the Wombats
have looked better,
that's for sure.
36
00:03:01,553 --> 00:03:03,514
- [ Sniffs ]
- In fact, I think this qualifies as...
37
00:03:03,547 --> 00:03:06,118
one of the biggest blowouts
in the season.
38
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:09,685
- Who'd have thunk it? 37 to three and--
- Bad dog.
39
00:03:09,717 --> 00:03:13,125
Bad dog!
Bad, bad boy.
40
00:03:13,157 --> 00:03:16,884
I don't know what it is,
Ernie. Maybe his diet.
I don't know.
41
00:03:16,916 --> 00:03:19,326
[ Man On TV ]
Mmm, boy.
42
00:03:19,359 --> 00:03:21,095
Tender, beefy chunks.
43
00:03:21,127 --> 00:03:25,531
Just about the best meal
your dog could ever want.
44
00:03:25,563 --> 00:03:28,488
There's nothin' quite like
meat by-products...
45
00:03:28,518 --> 00:03:31,445
to satisfy
those canine cravings.
46
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:33,661
Right, King?
47
00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:39,157
[ Dishes Clattering ]
48
00:03:42,982 --> 00:03:44,076
[ Small Bark ]
49
00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:56,257
[ Water Running ]
50
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,826
Oh, all right,
you want your food?
51
00:04:07,859 --> 00:04:09,465
I'll get your food!
Why not?
52
00:04:09,497 --> 00:04:13,161
It seems to be the sole
reason for my existence
on this planet lately.
53
00:04:13,193 --> 00:04:16,150
Feed the dog,
feed the cats,
do the dishes,
54
00:04:16,182 --> 00:04:17,854
wash the clothes,
iron the clothes!
55
00:04:17,886 --> 00:04:21,003
Do I have dreams?
Do I have aspirations?
56
00:04:21,035 --> 00:04:24,539
No, but I have
a toilet bowl
that's springtime fresh,
57
00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:28,812
and I'm pleased as punch
to be a short-order cook
to a dog!
58
00:04:28,845 --> 00:04:30,451
So, here!
59
00:04:48,097 --> 00:04:51,375
Oh, no, you don't.
Not today, buster.
60
00:04:51,407 --> 00:04:55,296
You wanted food,
and I gave it to you, and
now you're gonna eat it.
61
00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:57,481
- [ Grunts ]
- So, eat it.
62
00:05:01,403 --> 00:05:02,399
Eat it!
63
00:05:06,094 --> 00:05:08,344
[ Calmly ]
That's better.
64
00:05:08,377 --> 00:05:10,241
[ Groaning ]
65
00:05:15,029 --> 00:05:16,572
Bleh.
66
00:05:18,887 --> 00:05:21,394
Lainey Lou says,
"Where's my baby?"
67
00:05:22,648 --> 00:05:24,607
Where's Mary Ann?
68
00:05:24,638 --> 00:05:28,079
Where's Mary Ann?
Where is Mary Ann?
69
00:05:29,106 --> 00:05:30,875
There she is!
[ Giggles ]
70
00:05:30,906 --> 00:05:33,059
Hello, Mary Ann.
71
00:05:33,092 --> 00:05:35,085
Was you a good baby?
72
00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:39,487
You need some panties
and shoes and...
and your coat.
73
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,481
And--
It's raining outside...
74
00:05:41,513 --> 00:05:43,442
and you need you...
jammies.
75
00:05:44,597 --> 00:05:48,133
All you need is your...
underpants!
76
00:05:50,705 --> 00:05:52,248
[ Growling ]
77
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,958
[ Cries ]
78
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:10,277
Daddy!
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!
79
00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:12,463
Dog tried to bite me!
The dog tried to bite me!
80
00:06:12,494 --> 00:06:14,198
Dog tried to bite me!
81
00:06:14,230 --> 00:06:16,449
Uh, look, I'm trying
to watch the game,
sweetheart.
82
00:06:16,481 --> 00:06:19,952
The dog tried to bite me
with his teeth! His teeth!
83
00:06:19,983 --> 00:06:21,817
With his teeth, Daddy!
84
00:06:27,824 --> 00:06:29,786
[ Mother Screams ]
85
00:06:29,818 --> 00:06:31,265
[ Scratching ]
86
00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:34,703
Mommy! The dog--
The dog tried to bite me!
87
00:06:34,736 --> 00:06:38,303
Just look at what
that dog of yours did
to my favorite slippers.
88
00:06:38,334 --> 00:06:41,549
Well, it's that cheap
damn dog food you buy him.
Gives him gas.
89
00:06:41,581 --> 00:06:43,414
[ Mom ]
What makes you think
it's cheap?
90
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,664
[ Dad ]
What do you mean
"that dog of yours," huh?
91
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,431
- It was your idea
to get him.
- I finished vacuuming.
92
00:06:47,462 --> 00:06:49,584
- Can I go outside now?
- Oh, no, you're not
pinning this one on me!
93
00:06:49,616 --> 00:06:50,902
- Mom.
- What do you mean?
94
00:06:50,935 --> 00:06:53,088
- You said, "Honey,
we should get a dog."
- I finished vacuuming.
95
00:06:53,119 --> 00:06:54,019
I wanna go outside.
96
00:06:54,051 --> 00:06:57,779
- [ Billy ] Now!
- [ Dad ]
I know. I know.
97
00:06:57,812 --> 00:07:01,090
[ Mom ]
I wanted something
low-maintenance, like a cat.
98
00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:03,984
[ Shouting Overlapping ]
99
00:07:05,332 --> 00:07:06,909
[ Dad ]
A cat is not
low-maintenance.
100
00:07:06,939 --> 00:07:11,567
- [ Arguing Continues ]
- Dog tried to bite me!
101
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,107
- I'm done.
- Thank you so much--
102
00:07:14,138 --> 00:07:18,992
[ Shouting Overlapping ]
103
00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:27,540
[ Urinating ]
104
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,337
He's whizzin'
on the carpet, Dad.
105
00:07:30,368 --> 00:07:33,776
[ Man On TV ]
Intercept... and
it's a beautiful punt.
106
00:07:33,808 --> 00:07:37,183
Right through.
And it's a touchback!
107
00:07:38,147 --> 00:07:40,558
[ Sighs ]
108
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:45,925
[ Girl ]
A space movie?
109
00:07:45,957 --> 00:07:49,332
[ Mom ]
No, honey. Uncle Bud's
movies of last Christmas.
110
00:07:49,364 --> 00:07:51,711
- Is it Christmas now?
- No, honey, it's no--
111
00:07:51,742 --> 00:07:54,666
[ Dad ]
Hey, look. Can we
just watch the movie?
112
00:07:54,697 --> 00:07:56,980
Please? Hmm?
113
00:07:57,012 --> 00:07:59,359
- [ Billy ] Howdy, folks.
- [ Girl ]
That's me, mommy.
114
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:02,412
- That's right, honey.
- [ Girl ] That's me
in this movie!
115
00:08:02,445 --> 00:08:04,342
[ Mom ]
That's--
That's right, honey.
116
00:08:04,374 --> 00:08:06,946
That's me up there
in the movie!
117
00:08:06,976 --> 00:08:08,327
[ Mom Flatly ]
Okay, honey.
118
00:08:09,838 --> 00:08:12,827
- [ Dad ] Oh, geez,
would you look at that dog?
- [ Billy Speaking Gibberish ]
119
00:08:12,857 --> 00:08:16,039
- Stupid dog.
- [ Billy Growling ]
120
00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,771
[ Billy Making
Gibberish Noises ]
121
00:08:20,988 --> 00:08:22,660
- [ Billy Chuckles ]
- [ Mom ]
That was a mistake.
122
00:08:24,492 --> 00:08:26,229
[ Buffy ]
Can I get a soda, Mama?
123
00:08:26,261 --> 00:08:28,252
[ Mom ]
You just had a soda,
sweetheart.
124
00:08:28,286 --> 00:08:29,795
[ Buffy ]
Can I get a soda, Daddy?
125
00:08:29,828 --> 00:08:31,757
[ Dad ]
You just had a soda,
honey.
126
00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:35,002
- I want a soda.
- [ Parents ]
After the movie, honey!
127
00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:36,030
[ Billy Makes
Vibrating Noise ]
128
00:08:36,063 --> 00:08:38,891
[ Dad ]
Hey, boy. Look. Look,
that's you up there.
129
00:08:38,922 --> 00:08:40,915
That's you up there,
uh, dog.
130
00:08:40,947 --> 00:08:42,877
- [ Imitating Chain Saw ]
- [ Mom ]
That was a mistake too.
131
00:08:43,969 --> 00:08:45,641
Oh, no. Oh, please.
Stop the projector.
132
00:08:45,673 --> 00:08:47,826
- [ Dad ]
No. No, this is good.
- Turn it off now, Skip.
133
00:08:47,857 --> 00:08:49,658
[ Dad ]
Hey, come on.
Please, Bev.
134
00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:51,843
- [ Buffy ] Ooh, baby.
- [ Billy ]
Whoa.
135
00:08:51,874 --> 00:08:53,449
[ Dad ]
Oh, come on.
It's a good present.
136
00:08:53,481 --> 00:08:55,154
[ Billy ]
He cannot be stopped!
137
00:08:55,187 --> 00:08:57,468
[ Mom ]
Next year,
we're getting him a book.
138
00:08:57,499 --> 00:08:59,557
- [ Billy ] Oh, geez.
- [ Mom ]
Oh, look.
139
00:08:59,589 --> 00:09:02,127
- You look nice.
- [ Billy ]
I look stupid.
140
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,993
[ Buffy ]
I say, "Hello there."
141
00:09:05,985 --> 00:09:08,202
[ Dad ]
You've worn it a few times
since then, I notice.
142
00:09:08,234 --> 00:09:10,902
- [ Mom ]
Skip.
- [ Children Giggle ]
143
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:12,991
- [ Dad ]
Oh, yeah. Remember that?
- [ Mom ] Mmm.
144
00:09:13,023 --> 00:09:14,983
[ Dad ]
Bad dog.
145
00:09:15,016 --> 00:09:16,752
We had to go out
for pizza, remember?
146
00:09:16,784 --> 00:09:18,680
[ Mom ]
Pizza for
Christmas dinner.
147
00:09:18,711 --> 00:09:21,283
- [ Dad ]
It was a... good pizza.
- [ Projector Rattles ]
148
00:09:24,593 --> 00:09:30,378
[ Buffy ]
We saw a movie of a--
of a movie of a movie...
149
00:09:30,409 --> 00:09:32,500
with a wolf in it--
with a wolf in it,
150
00:09:32,533 --> 00:09:33,978
and-and
it got the bunny.
151
00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:36,100
And the wolf
got a money--
I mean, a bunny.
152
00:09:36,132 --> 00:09:37,835
[ Dad ]
Oh, the wolf
ate the bunny, huh?
153
00:09:37,866 --> 00:09:40,148
Yes, it was dead.
154
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,885
- [ Giggles ]
- [ Billy ]
Buffy!
155
00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:43,653
Uh-oh.
Man the pumps.
156
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:46,320
You stupid dumbhead
"nong-nong."
157
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:47,797
Every night
she does this!
158
00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:52,716
Billy, what did I say
about yelling
at the table? Hmm?
159
00:09:54,387 --> 00:09:56,058
I wouldn't have to yell...
160
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:59,979
if she wasn't
such a stupid, klutzoid,
dumbhead "nong-nong"!
161
00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:02,839
- Something new!
- What's that?
162
00:10:02,871 --> 00:10:06,984
A recipe I found
in Suburban Paradise
Magazine.
163
00:10:07,016 --> 00:10:10,713
Tater pops
and cheese whip.
164
00:10:10,746 --> 00:10:12,514
Enjoy.
165
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,570
[ Dad ]
Mmm, boy.
166
00:10:34,657 --> 00:10:36,361
[ Gags ]
167
00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:42,178
Uh, we're finished
out here, honey.
168
00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:44,525
What do you say
we all go out for dessert
and a movie, huh?
169
00:10:44,557 --> 00:10:47,159
Finished?
You're finished?
170
00:10:47,192 --> 00:10:48,445
Already?
171
00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:50,566
- But we can wait
while you--
- I've had enough!
172
00:10:50,598 --> 00:10:54,005
I mean, I'm so full,
I, uh, I couldn't eat
another bite.
173
00:10:54,038 --> 00:10:55,097
I'll get my coat.
174
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:57,060
- Yeah!
- Yay!
175
00:11:00,112 --> 00:11:03,037
Hold still, sweetie.
One more button.
176
00:11:04,032 --> 00:11:06,283
Careful, honey.
Don't run!
177
00:11:06,315 --> 00:11:07,921
[ Dad ]
I haven't seen
a good movie in ages.
178
00:11:07,953 --> 00:11:10,269
I like a good musical comedy
with a plot. A whodunit.
179
00:11:10,301 --> 00:11:13,194
A whodunit with
a good dance number,
I don't care.
180
00:11:27,528 --> 00:11:29,905
[ Doorknob Rattles ]
181
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,988
[ Weak Barking ]
182
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,091
[ Weak Barking ]
183
00:11:45,429 --> 00:11:47,101
[ Door Closes ]
184
00:11:49,831 --> 00:11:51,213
[ Mom ]
The door isn't locked.
185
00:11:51,246 --> 00:11:54,107
No, I remember locking it.
I'm sure I locked it.
186
00:11:54,138 --> 00:11:56,549
[ Mom ]
Look!
[ Gasps ]
187
00:11:56,581 --> 00:11:58,992
I think somebody broke in!
188
00:11:59,023 --> 00:12:00,952
- Wow!
- Wow.
189
00:12:00,984 --> 00:12:02,848
[ Dad ]
Not a chance.
The dog was here.
190
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,640
Oh, my God.
They've taken
the coffeemaker.
191
00:12:06,673 --> 00:12:08,247
No, no.
The dog was here.
192
00:12:08,279 --> 00:12:10,627
Mommy,
the "bofa" is gone.
193
00:12:10,659 --> 00:12:13,904
- [ Dad ]
But the dog was here!
- [ Billy ] Wow!
194
00:12:13,935 --> 00:12:17,729
It looks like
they got the whole
stereo system, Dad!
195
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,817
[ Skip Shouting ]
But the dog was here!
196
00:12:19,849 --> 00:12:23,063
Weren't you?
We don't expect too much
from you, do we?
197
00:12:23,095 --> 00:12:25,731
Not really, no.
198
00:12:25,764 --> 00:12:29,460
All we expect is
for you to be a dog,
199
00:12:29,491 --> 00:12:31,741
which means you eat
and sleep...
200
00:12:31,773 --> 00:12:35,438
and occasionally keep
the stupid house
from getting robbed!
201
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:39,294
But I'm going to give you
another chance.
202
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,224
One more chance.
203
00:12:42,798 --> 00:12:45,144
- [ Billy Imitates Plane ]
- You look great, honey.
204
00:12:45,175 --> 00:12:47,747
Thanks.
I had my tips frosted.
205
00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,739
[ Panting ]
206
00:12:52,536 --> 00:12:53,951
[ Billy ]
I am the barf man.
207
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,747
[ Mom ]
Billy, stop
teasing your sister.
208
00:13:03,013 --> 00:13:06,486
[ Clock Ticking ]
209
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:35,474
[ Ticking Continues ]
210
00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:51,801
[ Snoring ]
211
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:54,020
[ Doorknob Rattles ]
212
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,938
[ Growls, Barks ]
213
00:14:03,082 --> 00:14:07,036
[ Whimpers ]
214
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,524
[ Whines, Weak Bark ]
215
00:14:19,505 --> 00:14:21,371
[ Whimpers ]
216
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,281
[ Barks ]
217
00:14:56,852 --> 00:15:00,259
[ Barking ]
218
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,502
[ Growling, Gasps ]
219
00:15:21,277 --> 00:15:22,981
Uh, my name's
Skip Binford.
220
00:15:23,013 --> 00:15:25,200
I'm here to see
Ms. Lestrange.
221
00:15:25,231 --> 00:15:26,774
Thank you.
222
00:15:34,615 --> 00:15:37,220
[ Barking Echoes ]
223
00:15:39,823 --> 00:15:42,556
[ Woman ]
Do you like
what you see?
224
00:15:44,065 --> 00:15:48,983
I'm Gert� Lestrange,
administrator
of this facility,
225
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:52,326
and this is
my assistant, Ronga.
226
00:15:52,357 --> 00:15:54,220
Oh--
[ Clears Throat ]
I-- I--
227
00:15:54,252 --> 00:15:57,980
I think you will find
our methods
most effective.
228
00:15:58,013 --> 00:16:02,546
Our success rate
is close to 100%.
229
00:16:02,576 --> 00:16:05,694
If we can't
transform your dog...
230
00:16:05,727 --> 00:16:10,710
into a quivering,
snarling, white-hot
ball of canine terror,
231
00:16:12,091 --> 00:16:16,879
then we will grant you
a full refund, of course.
232
00:16:16,911 --> 00:16:18,936
Uh, well, actually--
233
00:16:18,968 --> 00:16:22,761
You wish a demonstration.
Most certainly.
234
00:16:23,724 --> 00:16:25,106
Angel.
235
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:27,358
[ Snarling ]
236
00:16:27,389 --> 00:16:31,759
- [ Man Screaming ]
- [ Snarling Continues ]
237
00:16:35,455 --> 00:16:38,284
Angel, come!
238
00:16:39,184 --> 00:16:42,881
- [ Growls ]
- [ Ronga Panting ]
239
00:16:45,708 --> 00:16:47,733
- [ Door Slams ]
- [ Lock Clinks ]
240
00:16:47,764 --> 00:16:49,726
[ Door Creaks ]
241
00:17:00,621 --> 00:17:01,585
[ Sighs ]
242
00:17:02,839 --> 00:17:04,543
So what's the big deal?
243
00:17:04,574 --> 00:17:06,665
He doesn't look like
a quivering, snarling,
244
00:17:06,695 --> 00:17:09,299
white-hot ball
of canine terror to me.
245
00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:15,277
[ Snarling ]
246
00:17:16,306 --> 00:17:18,845
[ Snaps ]
247
00:17:18,876 --> 00:17:22,735
Cash or charge?
248
00:17:47,898 --> 00:17:50,052
[ Snarling ]
249
00:17:50,084 --> 00:17:53,394
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
I don't know!
250
00:17:53,427 --> 00:17:55,516
He's turned into
a quivering, snarling,
251
00:17:55,548 --> 00:17:58,119
white-hot ball
of canine terror!
252
00:17:58,151 --> 00:18:00,176
We're gonna have to make
a break for the car.
253
00:18:00,208 --> 00:18:01,397
- Count of one?
- No, two.
254
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:02,426
[ Together ]
No, three!
255
00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:04,868
- Okay. Three.
- One, two three!
256
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,798
[ Barking ]
257
00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:12,067
[ Squealing Tires ]
258
00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:17,275
[ Panting ]
259
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,658
[ Growling ]
260
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:21,775
[ Screams ]
261
00:18:34,082 --> 00:18:36,943
[ Man On TV ]
And now, back to
Days of our Soaps.
262
00:18:36,976 --> 00:18:39,611
[ Grunting ]
263
00:18:39,643 --> 00:18:43,308
- [ Growls ]
- [ Sighs ]
264
00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:44,945
[ Woman ]
Wade has always
loved me.
265
00:18:44,978 --> 00:18:46,586
He married you
for your money!
266
00:18:46,617 --> 00:18:48,707
[ Woman #2 ]
Liar! Liar!
267
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:59,698
- [ Slap ]
- [ Woman ] How dare you slap me?
268
00:18:59,731 --> 00:19:00,824
[ Slap ]
269
00:19:00,855 --> 00:19:03,106
[ Woman #2 ]
How dare you
slap me back?
270
00:19:03,136 --> 00:19:04,937
- Freeze!
- [ Snarling ]
271
00:19:08,762 --> 00:19:10,594
What are we gonna do?
272
00:19:10,625 --> 00:19:12,555
Let's tie him up.
273
00:19:17,086 --> 00:19:19,561
Good boy!
Good little doggie!
274
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,521
We sure showed him,
didn't we?
275
00:19:21,553 --> 00:19:26,020
We sure showed
the nasty coppy-woppy,
yes.
276
00:19:27,337 --> 00:19:30,680
This is gonna
work out just fine.
277
00:19:30,713 --> 00:19:33,028
[ Barks, Panting ]
278
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:42,798
[ Gunshots ]
279
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,723
[ Inaudible ]
280
00:19:51,347 --> 00:19:53,275
[ Inaudible ]
281
00:19:53,306 --> 00:19:55,235
[ Screams ]
282
00:20:17,378 --> 00:20:20,240
The Dog Gang?
How humiliating.
283
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:24,097
Where do they get off
calling us The Dog Gang?
284
00:20:24,127 --> 00:20:26,893
I'm beginning to think
the party's over.
285
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:30,718
I'm beginning to think
maybe we don't need a dog.
286
00:20:30,749 --> 00:20:32,614
[ Whines, Growls ]
287
00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:39,042
Or maybe we need
a new dog.
288
00:20:39,075 --> 00:20:42,288
Or maybe we need a cat!
289
00:20:42,319 --> 00:20:44,410
[ Snarling ]
290
00:20:44,441 --> 00:20:46,819
[ Screeching ]
291
00:20:48,973 --> 00:20:50,805
Hold it.
Reach for the sky.
292
00:20:57,716 --> 00:21:00,544
[ Tapping ]
293
00:21:00,575 --> 00:21:03,339
No dog food tonight.
294
00:21:03,371 --> 00:21:07,357
Nothing but the best
for our little hero.
295
00:21:07,388 --> 00:21:08,963
[ Buffy ]
Good puppy.
296
00:21:08,995 --> 00:21:10,827
Now I want you
to just relax.
297
00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:13,141
- And I want you to
enjoy your meal.
- Dog, dog, dog, dog.
298
00:21:13,174 --> 00:21:16,131
And I want you to get
a good night's sleep.
299
00:21:17,094 --> 00:21:19,795
And I want you
to take out the trash.
300
00:21:20,695 --> 00:21:23,041
Poopy baby
wants some food too.
301
00:21:24,037 --> 00:21:25,034
[ Burps ]
302
00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:28,570
I hate that doll.
303
00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:31,108
Come on, you guys.
It's way past
your bedtime.
304
00:21:31,140 --> 00:21:32,361
- But, Mom!
- Billy!
305
00:21:32,395 --> 00:21:37,118
[ Buffy ]
? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H,
I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P ?
306
00:21:37,149 --> 00:21:39,496
- But, Mom!
- No grief tonight, buster.
307
00:21:39,528 --> 00:21:42,229
- Go brush your teeth,
right now.
- Okay.
308
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,124
[ Buffy ]
? W, X, Y and Z ??
309
00:21:50,969 --> 00:21:54,505
[ Quietly ]
Honey. Honey.
310
00:21:54,538 --> 00:21:56,627
[ Whispering ]
The front door is locked.
311
00:21:56,659 --> 00:21:58,492
Could you come down and--
312
00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:01,415
Ah, I'll have to get in
through the back door.
313
00:22:08,164 --> 00:22:11,090
- [ Snarling ]
- [ Dad ]
No, no! Stop it! Down!
314
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,211
It's me! It's-- Bad!
315
00:22:13,242 --> 00:22:15,717
It's me,
you stupid animal!
316
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,646
No! No!
1
00:00:07,648 --> 00:00:12,197
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
2
00:00:47,125 --> 00:00:50,648
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
3
00:01:19,492 --> 00:01:23,720
[ Ticking ]
4
00:01:26,184 --> 00:01:28,426
[ Keys Rattling ]
5
00:01:43,859 --> 00:01:45,749
[ Grunts ]
6
00:01:53,014 --> 00:01:54,712
[ Water Running ]
7
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,914
[ Doorbell Rings ]
8
00:02:22,213 --> 00:02:24,167
[ Doorbell Rings ]
9
00:02:27,528 --> 00:02:29,385
- Who is it?
- [ Man ]
My name is Watts.
10
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,499
I think I have something
that belongs to you.
11
00:02:31,529 --> 00:02:33,194
A silver pen
with your name on it?
12
00:02:41,774 --> 00:02:43,472
Where'd you find it?
13
00:02:43,504 --> 00:02:46,867
You left it
on the Manhattan Bridge
about 45 minutes ago.
14
00:02:46,897 --> 00:02:49,715
Thanks for your trouble.
[ Exhales ]
15
00:02:49,746 --> 00:02:53,140
Wouldn't you like to know
what I was doing on the
Manhattan Bridge at 1:00 a.m.?
16
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,357
No, frankly, I wouldn't.
17
00:02:54,389 --> 00:02:56,888
If you don't mind,
it's very late, and
I'd like to go to sleep.
18
00:02:56,918 --> 00:03:00,858
As a matter of fact, I was
watching you dump somebody's
body into the East River.
19
00:03:00,887 --> 00:03:02,586
You're mistaken.
That was old clothes.
20
00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:04,218
Goodwill doesn't pick up
anymore, you know?
21
00:03:04,249 --> 00:03:08,669
Old clothes don't usually need
a tire jack stuffed in with them
to make sure they'll sink.
22
00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:12,478
I was passing your building.
I saw you putting the bag
into the trunk of your car.
23
00:03:12,511 --> 00:03:16,160
In my business, you learn
to recognize the outline
of a head and shoulders.
24
00:03:16,191 --> 00:03:19,073
- So I followed you
to the bridge.
- Who are you?
25
00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:21,924
A detective
with the New York
Police Department.
26
00:03:23,301 --> 00:03:26,022
Very nice,
the way you big deal
Broadway composers live.
27
00:03:27,077 --> 00:03:28,679
Who's that?
Your father?
28
00:03:28,711 --> 00:03:32,775
The greatest composer of music
the American theater has ever
produced-- George Gershwin.
29
00:03:32,808 --> 00:03:36,202
Nice piano.
How often do you
have it tuned?
30
00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:37,836
Whenever I have to.
31
00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:40,687
And, uh, how often
do you wash
your candelabra?
32
00:03:40,715 --> 00:03:43,886
Look, Mr. Watts,
you have no basis
for your accusation,
33
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,127
so I suggest that unless
you have a warrant--
34
00:03:46,158 --> 00:03:50,258
- [ Papers Rustle ]
- Hmm.
35
00:03:55,828 --> 00:04:00,150
[ Singsong ]
"C", "C",
"E", "E", "D", "E".
36
00:04:00,182 --> 00:04:01,688
"C."
37
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:05,145
I always liked music.
My family couldn't
afford the lessons.
38
00:04:07,994 --> 00:04:10,107
Oh, look at that.
39
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:11,774
Somebody spilled
his bloody mary.
40
00:04:13,054 --> 00:04:15,615
[ Chuckles ]
You wouldn't have
liked him.
41
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,950
He was a total slime.
42
00:04:17,982 --> 00:04:19,935
You better get your coat,
Mr. Gillespie.
43
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,594
- I'm afraid I'm going to
have to take you downtown.
- You like music?
44
00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:24,514
What do you
think of this?
45
00:04:24,545 --> 00:04:26,659
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
46
00:04:26,691 --> 00:04:28,486
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
47
00:04:28,515 --> 00:04:31,845
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ??
48
00:04:31,878 --> 00:04:33,415
That's cute.
Is it yours?
49
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:37,257
- It is, and it isn't.
- What does that mean?
50
00:04:37,287 --> 00:04:39,914
- Had a partner.
His name was Jerry.
- I remember.
51
00:04:39,945 --> 00:04:41,162
You guys were together
a long time.
52
00:04:41,194 --> 00:04:45,356
Yeah,
we split up six months ago.
We decided to work on our own.
53
00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:48,622
I signed on to do
a musical with Logan Webb,
the producer.
54
00:04:50,128 --> 00:04:52,338
Logan is
a very impatient man.
55
00:04:52,369 --> 00:04:55,027
Jo-Jo, we've got to have
those songs by Wednesday.
56
00:04:55,056 --> 00:04:57,202
Couldn't you
at least let me hear
a couple of them?
57
00:04:57,235 --> 00:04:59,059
Listen, Logan,
when I was working
with Jerry,
58
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,172
he used to show our stuff
all over town
before it was ready.
59
00:05:01,204 --> 00:05:03,702
By the time people saw the show,
they thought they were seeing
a revival.
60
00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:06,488
Now that I'm on my own,
things are different. You will
see the songs on Wednesday.
61
00:05:06,518 --> 00:05:09,048
Laurie's heard the songs.
Laurie, tell the man.
62
00:05:09,081 --> 00:05:12,539
- Uh, it's-it's his best
work ever, Mr. Webb.
- There. See?
63
00:05:12,571 --> 00:05:16,573
It'll be the only cast in
history to get their songs
on the first day of rehearsal.
64
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,808
[ Laurie ] Don't you
ever do that to me again.
He knew I was lying.
65
00:05:23,841 --> 00:05:26,241
Honey, you were sticking up
for your fella. Think of it
as a higher form of truth.
66
00:05:26,272 --> 00:05:28,803
You're the best, baby.
You gonna eat
those strawberries?
67
00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:32,613
Look who's here, old tin ear.
Don't you know you can't afford
this table since we broke up?
68
00:05:32,645 --> 00:05:35,622
- Hi, Jerry. Think of
a rhyme for June yet?
- Stop it, Jo-Jo.
69
00:05:35,654 --> 00:05:37,416
- Hi, Laurie.
- Hi, Jerry.
70
00:05:37,448 --> 00:05:38,601
I understand you're
going to Aruba.
71
00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:39,655
[ Jo-Jo ]
Where did you hear that?
72
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,576
Carmen,
the cleaning lady,
of course.
73
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:44,362
I thought I'd take
a little time off
to be by myself.
74
00:05:44,395 --> 00:05:46,348
You're by yourself now.
75
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,844
I think Carmen,
the cleaning lady, should
stick to her vacuum cleaning...
76
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:50,926
and stop acting
like a gossip columnist.
77
00:05:50,957 --> 00:05:52,752
- Why don't you fire her?
- Why don't you?
78
00:05:52,784 --> 00:05:55,120
- No, you fire her.
- That's why she'll always
work for both of you.
79
00:05:55,152 --> 00:05:57,330
Face it, Jo-Jo,
you'd be lost without her.
80
00:05:57,363 --> 00:05:59,441
- He's right, Jo-Jo.
You do depend on her.
- What?
81
00:05:59,474 --> 00:06:00,947
I do not depend on her
for anything.
82
00:06:00,978 --> 00:06:03,572
Who the hell's side
are you on, anyway?
83
00:06:03,603 --> 00:06:07,607
- [ Vacuuming ]
- ?? [ Light ]
84
00:06:11,544 --> 00:06:17,885
[ Ringing ]
85
00:06:22,814 --> 00:06:27,137
Would somebody
answer the phone, please?
I am trying to work here.
86
00:06:28,224 --> 00:06:30,946
Mr. Jo-Jo's apartment.
This is Carmen speaking.
87
00:06:31,489 --> 00:06:33,987
Ah, hello, Mr. Webb.
88
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:37,030
Oh, no, I'm so sorry.
He just went out
one minute ago.
89
00:06:37,061 --> 00:06:38,885
But if you're calling
about the songs, Mr. Webb,
90
00:06:38,917 --> 00:06:41,926
they are the most
beautiful songs I ever--
91
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:43,882
All right, Mr. Webb,
I tell him.
92
00:06:45,097 --> 00:06:46,954
Wednesday.
93
00:06:46,986 --> 00:06:49,707
- [ Vacuuming Resumes ]
- Well, you picked
a great time, didn't you?
94
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:51,566
I've been working
on this thing for three months,
95
00:06:51,596 --> 00:06:54,029
and I don't have note one,
and now you're leaving me.
96
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,198
Will you cut
that thing off?
97
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,473
Honey, I'm so sorry
I yelled at you.
98
00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:01,297
I'm under a tremendous
amount of pressure.
99
00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:03,955
I've just gotta top Jerry
with my show, honey.
100
00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:07,155
Aw, sweetie, didn't we
have a great time
in Atlantic City?
101
00:07:07,188 --> 00:07:11,576
? You got to admit
it was pretty
in old Atlantic City ?
102
00:07:11,608 --> 00:07:14,393
- [ Slams ]
- [ Bangs Keys ]
103
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,635
What's happening, Carmen?
Where am I going wrong?
104
00:07:20,668 --> 00:07:23,100
I can't seem
to write anything.
I've lost my girl.
105
00:07:23,132 --> 00:07:28,256
Mr. Jo-Jo, last year,
when my little Perrito
disappear, somebody say to me,
106
00:07:28,287 --> 00:07:32,129
"Why you no go see
Sister Teresa?
She find your dog for you."
107
00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:35,554
Carmen, I can't deal
with this psychic
voodoo nonsense.
108
00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:38,501
But Teresa
find Perrito for me,
Mr. Jo-Jo.
109
00:07:41,349 --> 00:07:42,758
She cure Ramon's asthma,
110
00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,480
and she make Carmen
fall in love
with Ah Fong.
111
00:07:45,512 --> 00:07:47,079
For a while.
112
00:07:47,112 --> 00:07:50,378
Yeah, uh, I-- I'm going
for a walk, Carmen.
113
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,028
Make sure you lock up,
all right?
114
00:08:45,445 --> 00:08:46,791
[ Clears Throat ]
115
00:08:48,424 --> 00:08:50,538
Um, Sister Teresa?
116
00:08:53,384 --> 00:08:57,420
Either she will
come back immediately, or
she will never come back.
117
00:08:57,451 --> 00:08:58,542
Who?
118
00:08:58,574 --> 00:09:01,840
Oh, forget about Laurie.
What about my music?
119
00:09:01,871 --> 00:09:04,752
- I'm totally blocked.
- Music?
120
00:09:04,782 --> 00:09:08,721
No, no,
I cannot help you.
I am sorry.
121
00:09:08,753 --> 00:09:13,845
Music is too dangerous,
too painful
and too unpredictable.
122
00:09:14,644 --> 00:09:16,725
- Too painful?
- Yes!
123
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:20,537
It requires a total possession
by the spirit of the master.
124
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:23,961
It is exhausting.
125
00:09:23,992 --> 00:09:26,266
I'm too old for it.
I must ask you to leave.
126
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,124
Sister Teresa,
you've gotta help me.
127
00:09:28,156 --> 00:09:30,173
- No.
- Music is my life!
128
00:09:30,205 --> 00:09:32,479
I feel like
I'm losing my talent.
129
00:09:32,508 --> 00:09:34,463
Why can't I write
anymore?
130
00:09:34,493 --> 00:09:36,737
Please,
you've got to help me!
131
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,371
[ Groans ]
132
00:09:44,355 --> 00:09:46,245
[ Shrieks ]
133
00:09:53,256 --> 00:09:54,987
[ Shrieking Continues ]
134
00:10:03,597 --> 00:10:09,264
?? [ "Rhapsody In Blue" ]
135
00:10:11,025 --> 00:10:13,971
So you dried up, huh?
That's one thing that
never happened to me.
136
00:10:14,002 --> 00:10:16,978
I couldn't write 'em down
as fast as
I could think 'em up.
137
00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:20,182
"Fascinating Rhythm,"
"The Man I Love"--
I never stopped.
138
00:10:20,214 --> 00:10:22,104
And there's plenty more
where that came from.
139
00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:23,670
So what do ya need?
140
00:10:23,703 --> 00:10:27,482
Well, uh, the opening tune.
I need a snappy boy-girl duet.
141
00:10:27,514 --> 00:10:29,275
He's a millionaire,
and she's a reporter who--
142
00:10:29,305 --> 00:10:31,066
Never mind the plot,
nobody cares.
143
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,533
I got just the number.
Listen to this.
144
00:10:38,206 --> 00:10:40,448
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
145
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,754
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
146
00:10:42,785 --> 00:10:46,019
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ?
147
00:10:47,202 --> 00:10:51,397
? And Marco Polo
found China solo ?
148
00:10:51,429 --> 00:10:55,401
? But I discovered you ?
149
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,698
? Remember Ferdinand Magellan ?
150
00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:01,066
? He saw the straits
and nearly fell in ?
151
00:11:01,097 --> 00:11:05,645
? Cort�s found gold
in old Peru ?
152
00:11:05,677 --> 00:11:07,886
[ Male Singer ]
? Both Clark and Lewis ?
153
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,645
[ Female Singer ]
? Gave rivers to us ?
154
00:11:09,677 --> 00:11:13,681
[ Together ]
? But I discovered you ?
155
00:11:13,713 --> 00:11:15,568
- Not so fast.
- Fabulous.
156
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,843
If the rest
are as good as this,
we've a hit.
157
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:21,269
Don't worry.
I'm bringing in
more tomorrow.
158
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,894
? Around your heart, dear ?
159
00:11:23,927 --> 00:11:26,199
? Consider Hudson and da Gama ?
160
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:28,183
? They brought the bacon
home to mama ?
161
00:11:28,216 --> 00:11:32,858
? We give them credit
where it's due ?
162
00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:36,957
- ? Take Spain or Thailand ?
- ? I'll stick with my land ?
163
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:39,870
? 'Cause I discovered you ??
164
00:11:39,902 --> 00:11:41,919
Uh, Bob.
165
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:43,841
Terrific tune,
huh, Alan?
166
00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:46,047
Better than anything
he wrote with Jerry.
167
00:11:46,079 --> 00:11:48,033
I knew he wanted to
get off on his own,
168
00:11:48,064 --> 00:11:51,716
but, frankly, I didn't
think he was this good.
169
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,814
- I don't think he is.
- What do you mean?
170
00:11:55,847 --> 00:11:59,785
I know Jo-Jo's style.
I've played every show
he did with Jerry Lane.
171
00:11:59,817 --> 00:12:02,825
He can't write like this.
I'm telling you.
This is someone else's.
172
00:12:02,857 --> 00:12:06,316
Why, Alan,
I'd almost think
you were jealous.
173
00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:09,163
?? [ Ends ]
174
00:12:14,446 --> 00:12:17,009
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
175
00:12:18,929 --> 00:12:20,946
Dinner for one again,
huh, Jer?
176
00:12:20,978 --> 00:12:23,668
Jo-Jo, did you know
our shows are opening
the same night?
177
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:26,709
No, I heard your show
was in trouble. I thought
you had a little book problem.
178
00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:29,781
Really? I heard
you were having trouble
coming up with the tunes.
179
00:12:29,814 --> 00:12:32,089
Time to dip
into the old trunk,
eh, Jo-Jo?
180
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,392
Trunk, schmunk!
They're the best tunes
I've ever written.
181
00:12:34,424 --> 00:12:37,275
I'd love to play you one,
except you'd steal it.
182
00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:39,164
Oh, you're right.
183
00:12:39,195 --> 00:12:42,654
You always were the one
with the best ideas,
the most... talent.
184
00:12:42,686 --> 00:12:45,279
Would you do me a favor?
Would you listen
to one of my songs?
185
00:12:45,311 --> 00:12:48,929
- From your actual show?
- Mm-hmm. I'd like
an honest opinion.
186
00:12:48,961 --> 00:12:51,330
It's the love song.
187
00:12:55,908 --> 00:13:01,927
? You're my anything
Whatever you want to be ?
188
00:13:01,959 --> 00:13:05,129
? Be anything
and be it eternally ?
189
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,233
It's really
just great, Jer.
I love that.
190
00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:10,636
? You're sexy,
you're smart ?
191
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,620
? You're the Earth
and the moon ?
192
00:13:12,653 --> 00:13:16,846
? The sand and the dune
and the sea ??
193
00:13:17,968 --> 00:13:21,395
I'm moved, Jer.
I'm really moved.
194
00:13:23,153 --> 00:13:26,323
- ?? [ Piano ]
- [ No Audible Dialogue ]
195
00:13:32,054 --> 00:13:34,839
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
196
00:13:48,031 --> 00:13:50,046
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
197
00:14:04,870 --> 00:14:07,241
? Ticklish toes
That's how it goes ?
198
00:14:07,273 --> 00:14:09,257
? Ticklish toes
in my socks ?
199
00:14:09,288 --> 00:14:11,530
? Ticklish toes
Nobody knows ?
200
00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,995
? Ticklish toes
Oh, what shocks ?
201
00:14:14,026 --> 00:14:16,365
? You've got me hoppin' ?
202
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,252
? Each evening till 3:00 ?
203
00:14:18,284 --> 00:14:21,327
? Ticklish toes
Ticklish toes ?
204
00:14:21,359 --> 00:14:26,387
- [ Inaudible ]
- ? Ticklish toes
Keep dancin' with me ??
205
00:14:29,684 --> 00:14:31,668
- [ Groans ]
- [ Thud ]
206
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,741
Oh, that was
really good, George.
Only two more to go.
207
00:14:34,772 --> 00:14:39,000
Mr. Jo,
you must go home.
This is killing me.
208
00:14:39,032 --> 00:14:41,755
I told you.
Music always
do this to me.
209
00:14:42,873 --> 00:14:45,947
My heart--
My heart can't stand this.
210
00:14:45,979 --> 00:14:49,086
Teresa, we're so close.
Don't fail me now.
211
00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:52,030
- Pepi. Pepi!
- Forget Pepi!
212
00:14:52,061 --> 00:14:56,832
George, do you hear me?
George, we only have
two more songs left!
213
00:14:56,864 --> 00:15:00,066
- [ Teresa ]
Pepi!
- You must go now, Mr. Jo.
214
00:15:00,097 --> 00:15:02,467
- Go?
- Can I have the $15?
215
00:15:05,348 --> 00:15:08,102
Listen, sonny. I gotta
have one more session
with your mommy.
216
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:11,976
I don't care what it costs.
I'll give you, uh--
I'll give you $100.
217
00:15:12,008 --> 00:15:14,186
I gotta have
two more songs.
218
00:15:14,218 --> 00:15:16,011
A hundred dollars?
219
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:19,340
You call back tomorrow,
okay?
220
00:15:19,371 --> 00:15:21,613
God bless you.
I will never forget you.
221
00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:23,181
[ Kisses ]
I love you.
222
00:15:24,495 --> 00:15:27,280
Ethics? What are you
talking about? Ethics.
223
00:15:27,311 --> 00:15:30,130
I'm talking about representing
yourself as the composer
of another man's work.
224
00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:31,697
This is none
of your business, Alan!
225
00:15:31,729 --> 00:15:34,131
Is that what
you're going to say
to Logan Webb?
226
00:15:34,164 --> 00:15:36,116
You make me sick, Jo-Jo.
227
00:15:36,149 --> 00:15:39,094
For eight years now,
I have watched you ride
Jerry Lane's coattails,
228
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:41,591
and steal ideas
from every composer
in this town.
229
00:15:41,623 --> 00:15:43,736
But this time, you're not
going to get away with it.
230
00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:47,098
It's time somebody
blew the whistle on you,
and I am just the guy who--
231
00:15:59,873 --> 00:16:02,051
[ Sighs ]
Oh, my God.
232
00:16:02,082 --> 00:16:04,100
Oh, God.
233
00:16:21,931 --> 00:16:24,557
[ Grunting ]
234
00:16:29,679 --> 00:16:31,376
Oh.
235
00:16:36,594 --> 00:16:39,894
- [ Panting ]
- [ Splashes ]
236
00:16:43,990 --> 00:16:48,600
? You got me hoppin'
each evenin' till 3:00 ?
237
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:53,660
? Ticklish toes
Ticklish toes ?
238
00:16:53,691 --> 00:16:57,534
? Ticklish toes
Keep dancin' with me ??
239
00:17:03,104 --> 00:17:06,145
Well, great stuff, huh?
Hell, I'm the new Gershwin.
240
00:17:06,177 --> 00:17:07,873
Oh, this show
is gonna run for years.
241
00:17:07,906 --> 00:17:10,756
How much can a guy make
on a show that
runs for years?
242
00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:13,829
On my last show,
I was making, uh,
about 10,000 a week.
243
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,527
Oh, more than
I could possibly spend.
244
00:17:17,063 --> 00:17:20,393
Tell me, Watts, how would you
like to acquire an interest
in a hit Broadway show?
245
00:17:20,426 --> 00:17:23,627
Meet a lot of pretty girls,
find a dividend check
in your mailbox every month?
246
00:17:23,658 --> 00:17:25,259
It wouldn't
cost you a thing.
247
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:27,020
I've always loved
show business.
248
00:17:27,053 --> 00:17:30,030
Enough to forget
what you saw
on that bridge tonight?
249
00:17:31,213 --> 00:17:33,008
What do you say?
Ten percent of my share?
250
00:17:34,223 --> 00:17:37,650
Half of your share?
I don't see
how I could refuse.
251
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,434
It's nice to know greed
isn't confined to the arts.
252
00:17:42,035 --> 00:17:43,732
- Then it's a deal.
- Mmm.
253
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,716
I think I'd like a drink.
How about some champagne?
254
00:17:45,749 --> 00:17:47,799
I think a toast
is in order.
255
00:17:53,369 --> 00:17:55,258
Your friend Jerry
has stars in his eyes.
256
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,820
The theater's been good
to you boys.
257
00:17:57,850 --> 00:17:59,228
The muses are fickle,
Watts.
258
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:02,622
Let's see if he has
stars in his eyes when
his rotten show opens next week.
259
00:18:03,935 --> 00:18:06,017
[ Cork Pops ]
260
00:18:06,048 --> 00:18:07,711
Did you ever have
one of those days?
261
00:18:07,744 --> 00:18:09,794
Life is unpredictable,
isn't it?
262
00:18:09,824 --> 00:18:12,323
And the muses
are fickle.
263
00:18:12,353 --> 00:18:16,165
If I Discovered You should
turn out to be a disappointment
at the box office--
264
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,239
- Yes?
- Naturally,
our deal is off.
265
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:20,809
I'll drink to that.
266
00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:25,225
This is Trish Tarleton,
Entertainment Tomorrow.
267
00:18:25,258 --> 00:18:27,851
We're here at Sordi's,
talking to two songwriters...
268
00:18:27,882 --> 00:18:30,540
who used to be
Broadway's hottest team.
269
00:18:30,573 --> 00:18:32,813
- Fellas, what happened?
- I'll tell ya what happened,
Trish.
270
00:18:32,844 --> 00:18:34,862
I was sitting
at the piano one day,
271
00:18:34,892 --> 00:18:37,199
and I saw this guy
asleep on the couch,
as usual.
272
00:18:37,232 --> 00:18:40,561
I said, "For this
I'm giving up 50%?"
273
00:18:40,593 --> 00:18:44,532
Well, I'm not going
to stoop to Jo-Jo's level
of personal vindictiveness.
274
00:18:44,563 --> 00:18:49,557
But, uh, let me just say
that after five years
of his irresponsibility,
275
00:18:49,589 --> 00:18:53,399
his pettiness, and
his incipient alcoholism--
276
00:18:53,430 --> 00:18:54,968
Oh, uh, don't forget
to mention nail biting.
277
00:18:54,999 --> 00:19:00,378
And now each of you has
a show opening exactly
one week from tonight.
278
00:19:00,411 --> 00:19:02,267
No, that's really
not quite accurate, Trish.
279
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:06,078
I have graciously decided
to postpone the opening
of my show for one night.
280
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:07,487
[ Jerry ]
Oh, really?
281
00:19:07,518 --> 00:19:11,392
Well, that way
the critics can cover
both shows. How nice.
282
00:19:11,425 --> 00:19:14,915
Now, Jerry, I understand
you've got something else
to celebrate.
283
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:16,770
Isn't there
an engagement
in the wind?
284
00:19:16,803 --> 00:19:20,870
Oh, well, Trish,
no secret is safe
from you, is it?
285
00:19:20,901 --> 00:19:22,568
There's
the lucky young lady
right there.
286
00:19:23,782 --> 00:19:25,737
- Laurie McNamara.
- [ Jo-Jo ]
What?
287
00:19:25,768 --> 00:19:28,008
You creep. How long
has this been going on?
288
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,307
- About a year.
- [ Sighs ]
289
00:19:45,456 --> 00:19:47,187
I'm counting
on an early dinner tonight.
290
00:19:47,217 --> 00:19:50,451
- How come?
- The show will probably close
at intermission.
291
00:19:50,483 --> 00:19:53,429
I'm sure Jerry's score is
a real piece of... cake.
292
00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,666
- Hey, Jer.
- Hi, Jo-Jo, glad
you could make it.
293
00:20:00,696 --> 00:20:03,515
- [ Shutters Clicking ]
- I cannot wait to hear
"You're My Anything" tonight.
294
00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:05,500
What?
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, that!
295
00:20:05,531 --> 00:20:07,453
You're such a jerk.
That was a joke!
296
00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:10,687
[ Jo-Jo ]
You invited Carmen
to your opening?
297
00:20:10,718 --> 00:20:12,382
Well, sure.
She's part of the family.
298
00:20:12,413 --> 00:20:14,463
- [ Man ]
Curtain going up.
- Oh. Oh, go ahead.
299
00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:16,577
I'll see you inside.
300
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:22,917
[ Instruments Tuning ]
301
00:20:32,617 --> 00:20:34,506
Teach me about
show business.
302
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:37,291
Why did you let Jerry
open his show before yours?
303
00:20:37,324 --> 00:20:41,358
Well, because my success
will taste sweeter
in the wake of his failure.
304
00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:44,208
I hope you brought
something interesting
to read.
305
00:20:48,336 --> 00:20:50,899
?? [ Orchestra ]
306
00:20:54,708 --> 00:20:56,598
That sounds familiar.
307
00:21:01,175 --> 00:21:04,442
Sister Teresa?
What is she doing here?
308
00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:11,389
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
309
00:21:11,422 --> 00:21:13,407
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
310
00:21:13,436 --> 00:21:16,991
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ?
311
00:21:18,561 --> 00:21:20,578
[ Male Singer ]
? And Marco Polo ?
312
00:21:20,610 --> 00:21:22,020
[ Female Singer ]
? Found China solo ?
313
00:21:22,050 --> 00:21:23,619
[ Together ]
? But I discovered you ?
314
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,500
Jo-Jo, what's our song
doing in this show?
315
00:21:26,533 --> 00:21:29,062
I have no idea.
Where are you going?
316
00:21:29,093 --> 00:21:32,455
To cancel our opening,
and to call my lawyer.
317
00:21:32,487 --> 00:21:34,888
One of you guys
is in big trouble.
318
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,857
? Consider Hudson and da Gama ?
319
00:21:38,889 --> 00:21:40,908
? They brought the bacon
home to mama ?
320
00:21:40,939 --> 00:21:42,605
? We give them credit
where it's due ?
321
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:46,669
Listen, Watts,
this doesn't mean--
We still have a deal, right?
322
00:21:46,702 --> 00:21:48,622
The muses are fickle,
Jo-Jo.
323
00:21:48,654 --> 00:21:52,402
? I'll stick with my land
'cause I discovered-- ?
324
00:21:52,435 --> 00:21:54,324
? I hereby plant the flag ?
325
00:21:54,354 --> 00:22:01,174
? Yes, I discovered you ??
326
00:22:07,512 --> 00:22:09,626
[ Cheering ]
1
00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:11,215
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
2
00:00:46,197 --> 00:00:49,724
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
3
00:02:00,459 --> 00:02:02,255
[ Tires Screech ]
4
00:02:19,954 --> 00:02:22,552
Hi, honey!
I'm home.
5
00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:24,539
[ Boy ]
Hi, Dad.
Mom's not home yet.
6
00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:26,399
Randy?
[ Groaning ]
7
00:02:26,432 --> 00:02:29,510
I found it in the backyard--
a dead diamondback rattlesnake.
8
00:02:29,541 --> 00:02:32,267
Get that out of here
before your mother
gets home.
9
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,191
But it's got
eight rattles.
10
00:02:34,223 --> 00:02:36,821
Get it out of here.
11
00:02:36,853 --> 00:02:40,764
You know how your mother
hates it when anybody drips
snake venom on her carpet.
12
00:02:40,797 --> 00:02:43,010
A-And Randy,
13
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,703
where did I ask you
not to park your bike, hmm?
14
00:02:49,742 --> 00:02:51,603
[ Sighs ]
15
00:02:51,635 --> 00:02:53,335
[ Woman Screams ]
16
00:02:53,365 --> 00:02:55,034
[ Woman ]
Get rid of that thing!
17
00:02:57,022 --> 00:02:58,465
[ Sighs ]
18
00:02:58,496 --> 00:03:03,145
The prospectus on this place
said absolutely nothing
about poisonous wildlife.
19
00:03:03,178 --> 00:03:06,641
- Are you all right?
- What else have we got
to look forward to?
20
00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:10,456
Honey, maybe you should
start your leave of absence
a little earlier.
21
00:03:10,489 --> 00:03:13,599
Oh, no, I'm okay.
I'm just a little tired.
That's all.
22
00:03:13,629 --> 00:03:17,414
[ Man On TV ]
...starts downfield,
but is tackled.
23
00:03:17,446 --> 00:03:20,269
- [ Man Continues, Indistinct ]
- [ Cheering ]
24
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,641
- Late in the third quarter--
- [ Channel Changes ]
25
00:03:22,673 --> 00:03:25,238
[ Man #2 On TV ]
...film presentation
has been rated "R"...
26
00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:28,157
and not suitable
for children
under the age of 16,
27
00:03:28,187 --> 00:03:30,817
as it contains
violence, graphic sex
and strong language.
28
00:03:30,848 --> 00:03:32,227
Put it back.
29
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:34,185
-Parental discretion is advised.
-Thanks for fixing the remote.
30
00:03:34,217 --> 00:03:36,943
- [ Cheering Continues ]
- [ Animal Howling ]
31
00:03:38,129 --> 00:03:40,822
[ Barking ]
32
00:03:45,182 --> 00:03:47,075
[ Gasps, Chuckles ]
33
00:03:47,105 --> 00:03:50,313
Mommy knows you're there.
You don't have to keep
kicking her all the time.
34
00:04:01,055 --> 00:04:04,326
- [ Woman ]
Al?
- [ Dog Barking ]
35
00:04:04,357 --> 00:04:05,799
- Al?
- [ Rattling ]
36
00:04:05,832 --> 00:04:08,558
[ Animal Howling ]
37
00:04:08,589 --> 00:04:09,777
[ Dog Barking ]
38
00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:13,624
Coyotes, honey.
They're just howling
at the moon.
39
00:04:13,655 --> 00:04:19,171
First rattlesnakes,
then coyotes.
Now earthquakes?
40
00:04:22,923 --> 00:04:24,495
- Oh, no!
- [ No Sound ]
41
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:31,356
Coyotes, honey.
They're just howling
at the moon.
42
00:04:31,387 --> 00:04:36,999
First rattlesnakes,
then coyotes.
Now earthquakes?
43
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:41,488
Oh, no!
44
00:04:41,519 --> 00:04:44,919
[ On TV ]
Defense! Defense!
45
00:04:47,772 --> 00:04:51,076
What do you call it
when you feel like something
has happened before?
46
00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:53,385
D�j� vu.
47
00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:55,020
I felt it too.
48
00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:59,669
The coyotes--
They stopped.
49
00:05:01,624 --> 00:05:04,286
Mom, Dad, look!
50
00:05:12,173 --> 00:05:14,065
[ Al ]
There's somebody
moving around in there.
51
00:05:14,097 --> 00:05:15,637
[ Mother ]
Maybe somebody's moved in.
52
00:05:15,668 --> 00:05:18,395
That's impossible.
The house is only
half-finished.
53
00:05:18,426 --> 00:05:22,562
- [ Mother ] Maybe
they're working nights.
- Maybe it's burglars!
54
00:05:22,594 --> 00:05:25,385
- [ Sighs ]
- Maybe I should
check it out.
55
00:05:25,417 --> 00:05:27,052
Okay! Let's go!
56
00:05:27,085 --> 00:05:29,713
Randy,
you stay right here.
57
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,061
[ Sighs ]
58
00:05:54,274 --> 00:05:56,327
The "For Sale" sign is gone.
59
00:05:57,288 --> 00:05:59,181
[ Bird Hoots ]
60
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,199
Hello?
61
00:06:29,611 --> 00:06:31,535
Is everybody okay
in there?
62
00:06:52,344 --> 00:06:53,307
[ Gasps ]
63
00:06:53,338 --> 00:06:57,251
They came from
the house next door.
64
00:06:57,282 --> 00:07:01,099
Randy. Randy,
I thought I told you
to stay inside.
65
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,887
- [ Electrical Zapping ]
- [ Items Crashing ]
66
00:07:12,994 --> 00:07:14,470
Weird.
67
00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:19,792
Well, I-- I, uh, guess
they're all right.
68
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,544
Come on. Let's--
Let's go, okay?
69
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:27,584
What is that man doing?
70
00:07:27,616 --> 00:07:32,106
Oh, I guess he's just--
probably just getting out
his frustrations.
71
00:07:32,137 --> 00:07:34,382
You know, like when I go
to the driving range.
72
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:37,427
Come on.
Come on, son.
Let's go.
73
00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:41,340
We'll find a more
opportune moment to--
to meet the neighbors, okay?
74
00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:46,118
Say-- Say, did I ever
tell you about that time
that I was on the 18th hole--
75
00:07:47,752 --> 00:07:49,709
[ Mother ]
Randy,
whatever are you doing?
76
00:07:49,740 --> 00:07:52,050
Mom, these guys
are strange.
77
00:07:52,081 --> 00:07:55,224
Young man,
in this family,
we do not spy!
78
00:07:55,256 --> 00:07:58,078
- Get down. Come look.
- What is it?
79
00:07:58,109 --> 00:07:59,680
Hmm.
80
00:07:59,712 --> 00:08:01,251
[ Randy ]
Totally weird, right?
81
00:08:03,175 --> 00:08:06,414
What's so weird
about sitting in
your own back yard?
82
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:09,012
In dining room chairs?
In the dirt?
83
00:08:09,043 --> 00:08:10,582
[ Al ]
Hey! What's going on?
84
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,731
Come see
our new neighbors--
85
00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:15,393
Zombie-oids
from Dudley Drive!
86
00:08:15,425 --> 00:08:16,963
Man, are they ever bizarro.
87
00:08:16,995 --> 00:08:20,395
Oh, Randy, neighbors
are always strange.
88
00:08:20,426 --> 00:08:22,831
Those are the rules.
89
00:08:22,864 --> 00:08:29,821
Hmm, well, let's get dressed
and go out and meet
our new neighbors, hmm?
90
00:08:48,259 --> 00:08:50,376
- [ Knocking ]
- [ Al ]
Hello?
91
00:08:52,075 --> 00:08:53,422
Hello?
92
00:09:01,372 --> 00:09:04,867
Hello.
I'm Nell Lewis.
[ Chuckles ]
93
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:07,530
My husband, Al.
We're your neighbors.
94
00:09:19,971 --> 00:09:23,082
We thought you had
a little--
little problem last night.
95
00:09:24,394 --> 00:09:27,089
I came over to make sure
you were all right,
96
00:09:32,475 --> 00:09:33,983
but I guess you
didn't hear me knock.
97
00:09:36,901 --> 00:09:39,530
Hi, Al. My name
is Ted Hellenbeck.
98
00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:42,417
This is my wife, Ann.
This little tyke
is my son, Brad.
99
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:46,200
Brad Hellenbeck.
He's a real chip
off the old block.
100
00:09:46,232 --> 00:09:48,284
Glad to know ya.
101
00:10:07,651 --> 00:10:10,409
So, where are you guys from?
102
00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:12,942
- When?
- [ Chuckles ]
No, where.
103
00:10:12,974 --> 00:10:15,154
- You're not from Arizona.
- How do you know that?
104
00:10:16,212 --> 00:10:18,713
Well, your accents,
for starters.
105
00:10:19,867 --> 00:10:23,106
You must be
from New York, right?
[ Chuckles ]
106
00:10:23,138 --> 00:10:25,383
And you are pale.
107
00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:27,691
But I guess if you
get outside like this
every single day,
108
00:10:27,722 --> 00:10:30,288
you won't be pale
for very much longer.
[ Chuckles ]
109
00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:34,104
So what do you do?
110
00:10:34,136 --> 00:10:35,548
Uh, I mean for work.
111
00:10:36,477 --> 00:10:40,196
I, uh,
vivisect information.
112
00:10:40,228 --> 00:10:43,244
Oh.
Any particular kind?
113
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,091
Sociological
substructures.
114
00:10:48,918 --> 00:10:51,259
Ann is a cataloger.
115
00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:55,715
She's working on a list
of atomic deformities...
116
00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:57,640
in the rare earths.
117
00:10:59,596 --> 00:11:01,296
Or she was.
118
00:11:15,018 --> 00:11:16,558
When are you birthing?
119
00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:20,598
June.
He'll be a Gemini.
120
00:11:20,630 --> 00:11:22,522
Just like Al.
121
00:11:22,553 --> 00:11:24,093
Gemini?
122
00:11:25,599 --> 00:11:28,070
I thought
this was Arizona.
123
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,040
I brought you these.
124
00:11:37,015 --> 00:11:39,741
Roses.
Roses.
125
00:11:40,478 --> 00:11:43,204
Oh, I can't believe it.
126
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,736
It's been a very long time
since I saw a rose.
127
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:50,098
Not since I was a child.
[ Inhales ]
128
00:11:56,317 --> 00:11:57,985
And she ate two of them,
129
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:02,026
and she fed one to her son
before I had a chance
to stop her.
130
00:12:02,058 --> 00:12:05,682
Then she thanked me, and
she said she was gonna save
the rest of them till later.
131
00:12:05,713 --> 00:12:08,694
Don't tell Randy.
He already thinks
they come from Mars.
132
00:12:08,726 --> 00:12:10,747
Randy may just
have something there.
133
00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:24,246
First we had
the rattlesnakes.
Then we had the coyotes.
134
00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:26,781
And then the earthquakes,
and now them.
135
00:12:27,901 --> 00:12:32,775
Honey-- Honey, did you see
a moving van yesterday?
136
00:12:37,297 --> 00:12:39,671
And they don't
have a car.
137
00:12:51,502 --> 00:12:53,394
Okay!
138
00:12:53,426 --> 00:12:54,932
[ Nell ]
Dinner in five minutes!
139
00:12:54,965 --> 00:12:58,203
- What is it?
- [ Nell ]
Meat loaf.
140
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:01,313
- Does it have little chunks
of onions in it?
- Yes.
141
00:13:02,275 --> 00:13:03,269
Yuck.
142
00:13:05,225 --> 00:13:07,085
I'll find a good excuse.
143
00:13:11,445 --> 00:13:13,081
Right.
144
00:13:14,171 --> 00:13:15,871
Now I wonder
what this does?
145
00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:19,141
[ Hums ]
146
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,835
Okay,
I've got you working.
So what do you do?
147
00:13:22,893 --> 00:13:26,131
[ Hissing ]
148
00:13:46,364 --> 00:13:48,385
[ Explosion Echoes ]
149
00:13:57,041 --> 00:13:58,196
- Dad!
- [ Al ]
Randy!
150
00:13:58,228 --> 00:13:59,767
[ Nell ]
Randy, what was
that noise?
151
00:13:59,799 --> 00:14:02,750
- Dad!
- What is going on, Son?
152
00:14:02,782 --> 00:14:04,578
- What is--
- Hurry! The seeker
went off!
153
00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:07,206
- The what?
- The seeker! That!
154
00:14:07,238 --> 00:14:08,392
[ Nell ]
What is that thing?
155
00:14:08,425 --> 00:14:10,445
- [ Ted ] It's a heat seeker.
- [ Nell ]
What is going on?
156
00:14:10,477 --> 00:14:12,785
- Al, do something!
- Get things hot! Quick!
157
00:14:12,817 --> 00:14:16,537
Hotter than
body temperature!
Now! Get back!
158
00:14:22,244 --> 00:14:25,162
- There's another one!
- Quick! Get something hot!
159
00:14:26,927 --> 00:14:29,716
- I've got it. I've got it.
- Watch out for your hands!
160
00:14:29,747 --> 00:14:31,704
It's getting hotter.
What should I do with it?
161
00:14:31,736 --> 00:14:33,468
Mom! Drop it.
Drop it.
162
00:14:41,163 --> 00:14:42,542
- [ Hissing ]
- Randy!
163
00:14:42,574 --> 00:14:44,145
- Randy, behind you!
- [ Nell ]
Get back!
164
00:14:44,177 --> 00:14:45,331
Watch out, Randy!
Get down!
165
00:14:45,363 --> 00:14:48,409
- [ Nell ] Randy, back up!
- [ Al ]
Randy, get out of here!
166
00:14:48,442 --> 00:14:50,526
The oven, Randy!
Get away!
167
00:14:50,558 --> 00:14:53,893
[ Nell ]
Go into the hallway!
Randy, go into the hallway!
168
00:14:53,923 --> 00:14:56,009
[ Al ]
Get behind me, honey.
Get behind me!
169
00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:57,773
It's gonna blow!
It's gonna blow!
170
00:14:57,804 --> 00:14:59,568
- [ Nell ]
Not the meat loaf!
- [ Al ] Watch out!
171
00:15:10,246 --> 00:15:11,946
[ Chuckles ]
172
00:15:21,148 --> 00:15:23,680
[ Shrieks ]
Honey! You're burning!
173
00:15:23,713 --> 00:15:25,605
[ Shrieks ]
174
00:15:35,577 --> 00:15:39,169
Come on! Come on.
Get hot. Get hot!
175
00:15:41,925 --> 00:15:43,337
[ Whirs ]
176
00:15:43,368 --> 00:15:45,965
Come on. Get off.
Get off, move.
177
00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:46,959
Move!
178
00:15:46,991 --> 00:15:48,627
[ Explosion ]
179
00:15:56,483 --> 00:15:58,279
- Dad, are you okay?
- Honey, oh--
180
00:15:58,310 --> 00:16:00,266
- My goodness.
- What happened?
181
00:16:00,298 --> 00:16:03,376
Maybe you should tell us
what is going on here.
182
00:16:07,993 --> 00:16:09,374
Is everyone all right?
183
00:16:12,963 --> 00:16:14,857
Who are you people?
184
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,333
What is that for?
185
00:16:22,647 --> 00:16:24,507
The wave traps.
186
00:16:25,725 --> 00:16:29,541
If they break through,
we see patterns
in the water.
187
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:33,005
It happens
if someone leaves
or someone arrives.
188
00:16:34,318 --> 00:16:36,083
Breaks through what?
189
00:16:37,238 --> 00:16:39,130
Where are
you people from?
190
00:16:40,732 --> 00:16:43,715
Not where-- When.
191
00:16:45,702 --> 00:16:47,787
We're from the future.
192
00:16:47,818 --> 00:16:50,127
A little over 400 years.
193
00:16:55,321 --> 00:17:00,004
Last night,
did you experience
a, uh, repeat in time?
194
00:17:03,049 --> 00:17:05,454
[ Together ]
Coming from the future
causes that.
195
00:17:06,417 --> 00:17:08,276
We came here
to protect Brad.
196
00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:12,798
Having a family
is very different for us
than for you.
197
00:17:12,829 --> 00:17:15,298
For us,
it's scientific.
198
00:17:15,329 --> 00:17:21,069
A genetic structure is obtained
from the parents, improved
and assembled in vitro.
199
00:17:21,101 --> 00:17:23,956
No morning sickness,
200
00:17:23,986 --> 00:17:26,072
no dangerous delivery.
201
00:17:26,104 --> 00:17:28,252
No stretch marks.
202
00:17:28,284 --> 00:17:31,426
All completely controlled.
203
00:17:32,068 --> 00:17:33,704
Better than nature.
204
00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:38,417
We live
in a purified society.
205
00:17:39,538 --> 00:17:43,612
No congenital deformities,
no hereditary diseases.
206
00:17:44,925 --> 00:17:48,773
- A population always...
- [ Together ]
Perfect.
207
00:17:48,805 --> 00:17:53,294
But Brad is special,
because he's not special.
208
00:17:53,327 --> 00:17:55,956
At least,
not scientifically.
209
00:17:55,988 --> 00:18:00,350
He's an outlaw--
born naturally.
210
00:18:03,747 --> 00:18:05,736
You were
the only pregnant woman
I'd ever seen...
211
00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:10,032
except for myself.
212
00:18:10,065 --> 00:18:11,924
Brad's ours.
213
00:18:13,911 --> 00:18:15,901
You can't know
what that means to us.
214
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,871
I've got some idea.
215
00:18:22,698 --> 00:18:25,328
How did you get here?
216
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,893
My job was studying
the new millennium.
217
00:18:27,925 --> 00:18:29,624
I had limited access
to a traveler.
218
00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:33,376
I destroyed it
so they couldn't
trace the signal.
219
00:18:33,407 --> 00:18:35,012
I don't know how
they found us.
220
00:18:35,042 --> 00:18:38,218
They didn't find you.
They found us.
221
00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:41,713
You're right.
We're the criminals.
222
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,510
Because of Brad.
223
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,516
We should go.
224
00:18:47,549 --> 00:18:50,949
Go? Go where?
225
00:18:58,161 --> 00:19:01,978
[ Humming ]
226
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:07,235
I'm sorry about
your kitchen.
227
00:19:07,268 --> 00:19:09,127
Don't worry about a thing.
228
00:19:09,159 --> 00:19:12,911
Listen.
We want to help you.
229
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:17,464
If you're gonna fit in here,
you're gonna need a job.
You're gonna need a car.
230
00:19:17,497 --> 00:19:19,807
And whatever it takes,
we'll be there for you.
231
00:19:21,088 --> 00:19:22,595
[ Gasps ]
232
00:19:24,486 --> 00:19:27,083
- What is it?
- Somebody's
about to cross time!
233
00:19:27,116 --> 00:19:29,105
They must have tracked us!
234
00:19:29,136 --> 00:19:31,316
I found it in the trash.
235
00:19:31,349 --> 00:19:33,273
I put it
back together again.
236
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,012
That's how they tracked us!
237
00:19:39,654 --> 00:19:41,803
We must go, now!
238
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,125
- Give that to me!
- Dad!
239
00:19:48,279 --> 00:19:50,011
[ Zaps ]
240
00:19:50,043 --> 00:19:52,000
- [ Screams ]
- [ No Sound ]
241
00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:55,013
- Give that to me!
- Dad!
242
00:19:56,456 --> 00:20:00,047
- Hey!
- Take your hands off me!
243
00:20:00,079 --> 00:20:01,938
Take your hands off me!
244
00:20:02,804 --> 00:20:04,825
[ Grunts ]
245
00:20:04,856 --> 00:20:07,935
Ow. This is giving me pain.
246
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:10,243
Ow. Ow. Ow.
247
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:13,098
- This is hurting.
- [ Zaps ]
248
00:20:14,219 --> 00:20:15,983
[ Sighs ]
249
00:20:20,729 --> 00:20:22,076
You're safe now.
250
00:20:23,871 --> 00:20:25,699
I'm really sorry.
251
00:20:34,292 --> 00:20:38,589
They'll try and track us
when we leave.
We'll misdirect them.
252
00:20:41,025 --> 00:20:43,366
Good-bye.
And thank you.
253
00:20:45,193 --> 00:20:46,733
Good luck.
254
00:20:57,731 --> 00:20:59,271
Good-bye again.
255
00:21:00,489 --> 00:21:03,375
Good luck... again.
256
00:21:14,598 --> 00:21:16,105
Some night,
huh, pal?
257
00:21:17,259 --> 00:21:19,664
Well, I'll say one thing.
258
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,587
Sure were
interesting neighbors.
1
00:00:07,664 --> 00:00:12,219
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
2
00:00:47,207 --> 00:00:50,736
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
3
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:03,085
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
4
00:01:10,813 --> 00:01:12,707
[ Girl ]
Look at it! It's going up.
5
00:01:32,111 --> 00:01:36,344
[ Woman On P.A. ]
The three-legged race
will begin in 15 minutes.
6
00:01:44,426 --> 00:01:46,541
[ Man ]
Come on over here and
let me take your picture.
7
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:47,856
[ Man On P.A. ]
Anybody who's interested,
8
00:01:47,888 --> 00:01:50,166
we've just made up
some special lemonade
over here,
9
00:01:50,199 --> 00:01:52,893
so grab some cups
and make yourselves
at home.
10
00:01:52,925 --> 00:01:55,492
There's plenty
for everybody.
Come on, kids.
11
00:01:55,523 --> 00:01:57,097
[ Child Giggling ]
12
00:01:59,115 --> 00:02:00,750
[ Quacking ]
13
00:02:03,574 --> 00:02:06,332
- [ Chuckles ]
- [ Girl Laughs ]
14
00:02:06,363 --> 00:02:08,480
- [ Laughs ]
- She's so beautiful.
15
00:02:08,513 --> 00:02:10,150
[ Girl ]
Here you go.
16
00:02:10,181 --> 00:02:11,946
[ Laughs ]
17
00:02:11,976 --> 00:02:13,932
More bread, Mommy.
I need more bread.
18
00:02:14,928 --> 00:02:16,305
That's all, sweetheart.
19
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,646
Besides, I've gotta
get back to start
the Easter egg hunt.
20
00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:21,213
You and Daddy
can walk along the lake.
21
00:02:21,855 --> 00:02:23,010
Mommy!
22
00:02:24,836 --> 00:02:28,493
Now, Diana, you can
stay with Daddy until
the egg hunt begins.
23
00:02:31,574 --> 00:02:33,561
[ Diana ]
Can I go with you?
24
00:02:35,549 --> 00:02:38,083
[ Woman On P.A. ]
Three-legged race
in five minutes.
25
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,135
Come on over
and sign up.
26
00:02:40,168 --> 00:02:41,709
Diana?
27
00:02:44,723 --> 00:02:46,614
You're such
a big girl now.
28
00:02:46,647 --> 00:02:48,829
I hardly recognized you
when I got off the plane.
29
00:02:51,072 --> 00:02:53,543
Diana, listen to me.
30
00:02:54,406 --> 00:02:55,755
Will you listen?
31
00:02:59,251 --> 00:03:02,010
I know you don't
understand about war.
32
00:03:02,042 --> 00:03:03,932
There's no way
that you could.
33
00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:06,117
That's why you
have to believe me
when I tell you...
34
00:03:06,147 --> 00:03:08,007
I didn't want
to leave you and Mommy.
35
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,258
I had to.
36
00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:13,588
A lot of daddies
had to leave their children
because of the war.
37
00:03:15,865 --> 00:03:17,918
But you were in my thoughts
every day,
38
00:03:17,951 --> 00:03:20,484
and in my prayers
every night,
you and Mommy.
39
00:03:22,343 --> 00:03:26,226
And I'm home now, Diana,
and I'll never
leave you again.
40
00:03:26,258 --> 00:03:27,829
I promise.
41
00:03:39,597 --> 00:03:41,300
You remember our song?
42
00:03:43,383 --> 00:03:45,691
Sure you do.
"Lavender Blue"?
43
00:03:45,722 --> 00:03:48,419
? Lavender blue
Dilly, dilly, ?
44
00:03:48,451 --> 00:03:51,210
? Lavender green ?
45
00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:53,133
? I'll be your king
Dilly, dilly ?
46
00:03:53,165 --> 00:03:55,025
? You be my queen ??
47
00:03:55,056 --> 00:03:56,919
I don't... remember.
48
00:03:58,007 --> 00:03:59,835
I don't remember.
49
00:03:59,867 --> 00:04:02,209
[ Woman On P.A. ]
Sprites.
Sprites from Troop 416.
50
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,705
Please gather
at the picnic area
for the Easter egg hunt.
51
00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:08,881
I've gotta go.
52
00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:11,832
Come on, everybody.
The hunt is about to begin.
53
00:04:12,824 --> 00:04:14,461
Girls, come on in.
54
00:04:14,494 --> 00:04:17,285
All right, everyone,
gather round.
55
00:04:17,317 --> 00:04:22,128
Okay, now,
the eggs are hidden
all over the park.
56
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,631
Oh, and there's one
with something very special
in it,
57
00:04:24,661 --> 00:04:26,553
but that one's hard to find.
58
00:04:26,584 --> 00:04:27,964
Okay. Everyone ready?
59
00:04:27,998 --> 00:04:29,566
[ Girls ]
Yeah!
60
00:04:29,599 --> 00:04:31,687
Then let the hunt begin!
61
00:04:34,058 --> 00:04:35,245
Diana.
62
00:04:36,464 --> 00:04:38,131
Good luck, honey.
63
00:04:45,089 --> 00:04:47,335
I wish I could
make her understand.
64
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:50,127
Give her time, darling.
She's only eight.
65
00:04:50,158 --> 00:04:51,698
I know.
66
00:04:54,008 --> 00:04:55,932
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
67
00:05:17,162 --> 00:05:19,088
Oh, boy.
68
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:29,383
It's beautiful.
69
00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:31,091
[ Bird Calls ]
70
00:06:48,089 --> 00:06:50,526
You've got another
10 minutes, girls.
Just 10 more minutes.
71
00:06:50,558 --> 00:06:52,516
Go on.
There are a lot
of eggs out there.
72
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,473
Boy, she's got
a basketful.
73
00:07:01,944 --> 00:07:03,485
Mommy!
74
00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:08,585
Mommy!
75
00:07:10,218 --> 00:07:11,566
Mommy!
76
00:07:15,382 --> 00:07:16,924
Mommy!
77
00:07:20,225 --> 00:07:21,894
Mommy!
78
00:07:26,126 --> 00:07:27,699
[ Woman ]
Diana!
79
00:07:27,730 --> 00:07:29,976
[ Dogs Barking
In Distance ]
80
00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:31,965
[ Man ]
Hey, let's get that
other boat in the water.
81
00:07:31,996 --> 00:07:33,537
Come on!
82
00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:36,840
[ Sighs ]
83
00:07:36,871 --> 00:07:40,464
We have covered the forest
without luck.
84
00:07:40,495 --> 00:07:43,094
We're afraid she may
have wandered
into the marsh.
85
00:07:43,126 --> 00:07:44,506
[ Sighs ]
86
00:07:44,539 --> 00:07:48,321
The areas are marked,
but she might have
missed the sign.
87
00:07:48,352 --> 00:07:50,629
What sign is that,
Officer?
88
00:07:51,657 --> 00:07:53,035
- Quicksand.
- Oh, my God.
89
00:07:53,068 --> 00:07:54,639
[ Groans ]
90
00:07:54,672 --> 00:07:57,464
- If she's there,
I'm afraid--
- [ Sobs ]
91
00:07:59,258 --> 00:08:01,246
Of course,
we'll keep looking.
92
00:08:03,075 --> 00:08:04,422
I'm sorry.
93
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,179
[ Sobbing ]
94
00:08:10,066 --> 00:08:11,990
Oh, George.
[ Sobs ]
95
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:15,678
My baby. My baby!
96
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:17,638
[ Car Starts ]
97
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:20,108
[ Sobbing ]
98
00:08:23,538 --> 00:08:26,392
How can it end like this?
99
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,273
I don't know.
I don't know, Kathy.
100
00:08:32,293 --> 00:08:34,315
[ Sobbing ]
I don't know.
101
00:08:36,398 --> 00:08:38,226
[ Sobbing Continues ]
102
00:08:50,318 --> 00:08:52,243
[ Birds Twittering ]
103
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,933
[ Man ]
Lay back. Close your eyes.
104
00:09:02,055 --> 00:09:03,757
Get some rest.
105
00:09:03,788 --> 00:09:05,264
I'll check you
in the morning.
106
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:34,225
- Oh, no, Kathryn.
- I wanna write something,
George, before I forget.
107
00:09:34,256 --> 00:09:35,796
George!
108
00:09:35,828 --> 00:09:38,621
You can work on it
in the morning.
109
00:09:38,653 --> 00:09:40,704
Oh, pooh.
110
00:09:44,104 --> 00:09:46,382
Do you remember, George,
that day,
111
00:09:46,412 --> 00:09:48,657
after Diana disappeared?
112
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,230
Hmm?
113
00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:54,623
I felt so sure
she'd be found safe.
114
00:09:55,424 --> 00:09:58,215
It's hope that
never died, George.
115
00:09:58,247 --> 00:09:59,819
Never died.
116
00:09:59,851 --> 00:10:05,561
But sometimes false hope
needs to be put to rest.
117
00:10:06,457 --> 00:10:09,088
We've gotta
tell people that.
118
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,563
Oh, Georgie.
119
00:10:10,595 --> 00:10:14,381
It held us back
for so many years.
120
00:10:17,554 --> 00:10:20,026
I wanna write
about that in the book,
George,
121
00:10:20,058 --> 00:10:22,656
about letting false hope go.
122
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,194
Look what the children
sent you.
123
00:10:25,637 --> 00:10:27,499
Ohh!
124
00:10:27,531 --> 00:10:29,648
I should write to them.
125
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,443
In the morning.
126
00:10:31,474 --> 00:10:33,750
I love them all.
127
00:10:33,783 --> 00:10:37,118
- About the book, George.
- Go to sleep, love.
128
00:10:38,369 --> 00:10:40,424
False hope--
129
00:10:40,456 --> 00:10:43,149
the need to let it go.
130
00:10:51,168 --> 00:10:52,707
- [ Sighs ]
- [ Door Closes ]
131
00:11:03,548 --> 00:11:05,473
This should help
ease her pain.
132
00:11:11,309 --> 00:11:13,844
- George?
- She's not going to die.
133
00:11:14,934 --> 00:11:16,504
- Let her go, George.
- No!
134
00:11:16,535 --> 00:11:18,972
Now, don't make it hard
for her to leave.
135
00:11:19,006 --> 00:11:22,567
- It'll be easier for you--
- The children need her!
136
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:25,646
She's very important
to these kids.
137
00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,116
And she's given them
so much love,
138
00:11:28,148 --> 00:11:30,393
and has so much more
to give.
139
00:11:31,644 --> 00:11:36,101
- It's not time.
- The children
still need you, George.
140
00:11:36,133 --> 00:11:38,186
You can open
the school again.
141
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,415
You can continue the work.
142
00:11:48,353 --> 00:11:49,828
Not by myself.
143
00:11:50,792 --> 00:11:52,973
She's the foundation here.
144
00:11:53,611 --> 00:11:55,377
I can't do it.
145
00:11:55,409 --> 00:11:58,166
I'm 78 years old.
146
00:11:58,198 --> 00:12:00,411
I've never been alone
in my life.
147
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,634
Kathryn.
148
00:12:15,422 --> 00:12:17,314
Don't give up, Kathy.
149
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,079
Please don't give up.
150
00:12:20,939 --> 00:12:22,864
Without you, I'm nobody.
151
00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:25,942
Don't leave me here alone.
152
00:12:35,563 --> 00:12:37,359
[ Knocking ]
153
00:12:40,246 --> 00:12:41,594
[ Knocking ]
154
00:12:55,032 --> 00:12:56,635
[ Knocking ]
155
00:13:11,261 --> 00:13:12,609
[ Knocking ]
156
00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:20,786
Daddy?
157
00:13:23,608 --> 00:13:24,956
Diana?
158
00:13:34,575 --> 00:13:36,470
It's me, Daddy.
159
00:13:36,502 --> 00:13:38,041
Diana!
160
00:13:49,073 --> 00:13:51,897
You look... different.
161
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,547
Like Grandpa Willoughby.
162
00:13:56,578 --> 00:13:59,303
It's been 40 years, Diana.
163
00:13:59,335 --> 00:14:01,423
How can you
still look the same?
164
00:14:04,598 --> 00:14:06,170
Annie!
165
00:14:10,048 --> 00:14:11,749
[ Laughs ]
166
00:14:11,781 --> 00:14:13,898
Did you miss me
while I was gone?
167
00:14:15,084 --> 00:14:16,850
- Mmm!
- How?
168
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:21,532
How can you
look like this?
169
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:25,029
Well, you're real.
170
00:14:26,054 --> 00:14:28,332
- Where's Mommy?
- Mommy?
171
00:14:30,063 --> 00:14:31,795
I came to see Mommy.
172
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:39,747
Mommy's sick, sweetheart.
Mommy's very sick.
173
00:14:45,521 --> 00:14:47,542
Who stays
in my room now?
174
00:14:47,573 --> 00:14:49,115
No one.
175
00:14:53,604 --> 00:14:55,978
So many toys!
176
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,899
Who did all of these?
177
00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:05,983
Did you and Mommy
have more children?
178
00:15:06,014 --> 00:15:07,813
No, we--
179
00:15:08,870 --> 00:15:10,859
We could never have
another child.
180
00:15:11,884 --> 00:15:14,228
We opened a school
for children.
181
00:15:14,258 --> 00:15:15,799
We tried to give them...
182
00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:18,880
the love that we could
never give you after--
183
00:15:20,161 --> 00:15:24,297
Oh! To see you like this--
184
00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:28,562
Forty years,
the same as you were
that day at the park.
185
00:15:29,108 --> 00:15:30,199
Daddy,
186
00:15:31,224 --> 00:15:33,919
I'm sorry about that day.
187
00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:35,236
I--
188
00:15:36,261 --> 00:15:38,345
I do understand now, and--
189
00:15:39,884 --> 00:15:42,612
I didn't mean to hurt you.
190
00:15:42,644 --> 00:15:46,076
- Please forgive me.
- Oh, God. Diana.
191
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:59,065
? Lavender blue
Dilly, dilly ?
192
00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:03,425
? Lavender green ?
193
00:16:03,457 --> 00:16:06,216
? I'll be your queen ?
194
00:16:06,248 --> 00:16:08,173
? Dilly, dilly ?
195
00:16:08,204 --> 00:16:11,347
? You'll be my king ??
196
00:16:11,378 --> 00:16:13,498
See? I never forgot.
197
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,826
Don't be sad anymore.
198
00:16:18,372 --> 00:16:19,910
Ohh!
199
00:16:27,384 --> 00:16:29,822
Now let's go see Mommy.
200
00:16:35,498 --> 00:16:37,039
Kathy!
201
00:16:38,129 --> 00:16:39,861
See who's here, love?
202
00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:50,796
Kathy.
203
00:16:54,486 --> 00:16:56,540
No. Not now.
204
00:16:58,301 --> 00:17:00,036
Not now.
205
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:02,409
Kathy!
206
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,044
Not now.
207
00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:07,829
[ Moans ]
208
00:17:10,233 --> 00:17:12,478
Daddy, let her go.
209
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:15,013
[ Sobs ]
210
00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:21,525
You'll be with her again.
211
00:17:36,919 --> 00:17:38,843
Yes, I will be.
212
00:17:40,636 --> 00:17:42,596
I'll be with her again.
213
00:17:52,568 --> 00:17:54,365
[ Wind Whistling ]
214
00:18:14,346 --> 00:18:16,240
[ Wind Continues ]
215
00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:55,784
It never ends, Daddy.
216
00:18:55,815 --> 00:18:59,697
It changes,
but it never ends.
217
00:19:13,232 --> 00:19:15,059
- We have to go now.
- Wait!
218
00:19:15,092 --> 00:19:17,884
- I'm going with you.
- [ Kathy ]
George, no.
219
00:19:17,915 --> 00:19:19,935
You still have work to do.
220
00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:22,533
Finish our book, darling.
221
00:19:22,564 --> 00:19:24,682
I love you very much.
222
00:19:33,276 --> 00:19:36,002
We'll come back for you
when it's your time.
223
00:19:37,063 --> 00:19:38,409
I love you.
224
00:19:49,634 --> 00:19:52,201
[ Rumbling ]
1
00:00:06,687 --> 00:00:11,174
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
2
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:49,679
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
3
00:01:57,308 --> 00:02:00,097
[ Woman ]
Alan. Alan.
4
00:02:01,090 --> 00:02:02,050
Alan.
5
00:02:03,362 --> 00:02:05,093
Rise and shine,
kiddo.
6
00:02:07,592 --> 00:02:10,731
[ Man On Radio ] Down at Zuma
you can find four-foot swells
in pretty good shape.
7
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:14,064
But forget
about Santa Monica.
8
00:02:14,096 --> 00:02:15,986
[ Sighs ]
9
00:02:16,016 --> 00:02:17,940
[ Groans ]
10
00:02:23,674 --> 00:02:26,653
[ Beeps, Whirs ]
11
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,890
Can't Pop invent
something quiet?
12
00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:32,419
Let's just hope
he fixed it, honey.
13
00:02:33,733 --> 00:02:35,176
[ Beeps ]
14
00:02:36,618 --> 00:02:38,379
Voil�!
15
00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:42,254
As you ordered, sir--
Over easy.
16
00:02:43,472 --> 00:02:45,235
I'll get you some milk.
17
00:02:49,848 --> 00:02:52,476
I had that dream
again last night, Mom.
18
00:02:52,507 --> 00:02:56,223
Oh, Alan, you're reading
too many of these things,
young man.
19
00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:58,177
That's the problem.
20
00:02:58,754 --> 00:03:00,163
You're right.
21
00:03:00,195 --> 00:03:03,047
It's like something
out of my Space Commando
comics,
22
00:03:03,687 --> 00:03:05,932
except more real...
23
00:03:05,962 --> 00:03:07,565
like I was there.
24
00:03:08,526 --> 00:03:09,999
[ Chuckles ]
25
00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:11,696
Hey, could I have
another egg?
26
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,666
[ Beeps, Whirs ]
27
00:03:28,387 --> 00:03:29,829
[ Beeps ]
28
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:37,775
[ Squeaking, Warbling ]
29
00:03:37,805 --> 00:03:39,792
I think
we have to, Val.
30
00:03:39,824 --> 00:03:42,611
I mean, we just
can't wait until
the last minute, honey.
31
00:03:42,643 --> 00:03:44,919
It would be too cruel.
32
00:03:46,263 --> 00:03:48,633
All right,
I'll tell him tonight.
33
00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:50,108
Hey, Dad!
34
00:03:52,126 --> 00:03:53,952
All right,
I'll tell him now.
35
00:03:55,745 --> 00:03:57,477
- I asked for over easy.
- Uh-huh.
36
00:03:57,510 --> 00:03:59,495
And look what I got.
37
00:03:59,527 --> 00:04:01,481
Y-- Alan.
38
00:04:01,513 --> 00:04:03,018
[ Sighs ]
39
00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:06,095
Uh, look, uh, Son,
do you have a moment?
40
00:04:06,799 --> 00:04:09,555
Sure, Dad.
What's up?
41
00:04:11,026 --> 00:04:14,327
Alan, we're moving.
42
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:18,877
- Moving?
- Yes. I have
a job opportunity.
43
00:04:20,254 --> 00:04:22,529
Well, but you're
a freelance inventor.
44
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,323
Well, yes,
of course, I know.
45
00:04:24,355 --> 00:04:27,464
But, uh,
this is something
I can't pass up.
46
00:04:27,495 --> 00:04:29,833
We can't really
talk about it now.
You have to go to school.
47
00:04:29,864 --> 00:04:31,660
We'll discuss it later,
okay?
48
00:04:31,691 --> 00:04:33,486
We just wanted
to prepare you.
49
00:04:33,516 --> 00:04:34,990
[ School Bell Rings ]
50
00:04:35,023 --> 00:04:38,356
[ Chattering ]
51
00:04:46,748 --> 00:04:48,799
So, are we still on
for tonight?
52
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,881
- Hi.
- Hi.
53
00:04:50,913 --> 00:04:52,355
Sure.
54
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,110
Alan, what's wrong?
55
00:04:55,142 --> 00:04:56,616
Come on.
Don't go spacey on me.
56
00:04:56,648 --> 00:04:58,634
I can get that kind
of behavior at home.
57
00:05:00,748 --> 00:05:03,151
[ Bell Rings ]
58
00:05:03,183 --> 00:05:07,093
- Karen, we're moving.
- Moving? Where? When?
59
00:05:09,173 --> 00:05:11,064
Uh, will you
come over tonight?
60
00:05:11,096 --> 00:05:13,178
Sure.
61
00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:15,069
Come on, Alan.
You're my best friend.
62
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:19,362
[ Boy ]
Isn't that sweet?
63
00:05:19,393 --> 00:05:21,507
Check out
the odd couple.
64
00:05:21,539 --> 00:05:24,167
[ Scoffs ]
A couple of lovebirds.
65
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,672
Just ignore them, Alan.
66
00:05:25,705 --> 00:05:27,980
How can you ignore
jerks that size?
67
00:05:28,748 --> 00:05:30,702
That's it, Webster.
68
00:05:32,336 --> 00:05:34,450
[ Locker Rattling ]
69
00:05:37,461 --> 00:05:40,377
- All yours, sweetheart.
- [ Chuckles ]
70
00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:43,580
[ Knocking ]
71
00:05:43,613 --> 00:05:45,087
Are you okay?
72
00:05:46,048 --> 00:05:50,661
Thirty-five right,
16 left, 24 right.
73
00:05:56,043 --> 00:05:57,581
Well, we always
have telephones.
74
00:05:57,612 --> 00:05:59,920
We can call each other
any time we want.
75
00:05:59,950 --> 00:06:01,489
It's not the same.
76
00:06:02,513 --> 00:06:04,308
You know
it's not the same.
77
00:06:05,461 --> 00:06:08,729
There's summer vacations,
student fairs and stuff.
78
00:06:08,761 --> 00:06:10,779
[ Sighs ]
Yeah.
79
00:06:10,811 --> 00:06:12,989
Well, did your dad
say you where
you're moving to?
80
00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:15,232
- No, he didn't.
- Aren't you even curious?
81
00:06:16,194 --> 00:06:19,783
Oh, who cares?
It's away from you.
82
00:06:21,704 --> 00:06:24,716
This thing is really neat.
Too bad it can't be
our science project.
83
00:06:24,747 --> 00:06:28,080
[ Buzzing ]
84
00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:31,731
Oh, I should have told you
not to turn it on.
85
00:06:31,762 --> 00:06:34,197
It, uh,
overloads the circuits.
86
00:06:34,229 --> 00:06:36,249
I'll be right back.
87
00:06:36,281 --> 00:06:38,556
Hey, turn it off
so it doesn't
happen again.
88
00:06:38,588 --> 00:06:40,253
Okay.
89
00:06:40,286 --> 00:06:43,681
[ Clock Ticking ]
90
00:07:06,074 --> 00:07:08,413
[ Pneumatic Door Opens ]
91
00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:39,457
[ Gasps ]
92
00:07:50,444 --> 00:07:52,046
What's wrong?
93
00:07:53,486 --> 00:07:55,731
I don't know.
94
00:07:55,762 --> 00:07:58,102
[ Mom ]
Alan, we're home.
95
00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:09,282
[ Clock Ticking ]
96
00:08:53,747 --> 00:08:56,792
One, two, three.
97
00:09:00,379 --> 00:09:02,303
There's gotta be a way.
98
00:09:04,063 --> 00:09:08,901
Three, one, two.
99
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,063
[ Pneumatic Door Opens ]
100
00:09:36,548 --> 00:09:39,656
[ Beeps ]
101
00:10:02,273 --> 00:10:04,517
[ Door Opens ]
102
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,849
[ Pneumatic Door Opens ]
103
00:10:10,795 --> 00:10:12,236
Oh, my.
104
00:10:24,442 --> 00:10:26,525
Oh, my.
105
00:10:35,048 --> 00:10:37,194
- Good morning,
sweetheart.
- Hi, Mom.
106
00:10:37,226 --> 00:10:39,565
- Did you sleep well?
- Uh-huh.
107
00:10:46,451 --> 00:10:49,559
- So, Dad.
- Mm-hmm.
108
00:10:49,591 --> 00:10:53,820
Invent anything...
interesting lately?
109
00:10:56,158 --> 00:10:57,793
Well, I can't say
that I have, Son.
110
00:10:59,138 --> 00:11:02,247
Not even...
what's under the house?
111
00:11:04,585 --> 00:11:08,429
I mean, I always knew
you were a good inventor,
but not that good.
112
00:11:09,966 --> 00:11:11,759
What the heck
is that thing?
113
00:11:11,791 --> 00:11:13,587
[ Chuckles ]
114
00:11:13,618 --> 00:11:15,221
Well, it's--
115
00:11:23,359 --> 00:11:25,184
A space conveyor.
116
00:11:27,713 --> 00:11:29,220
It's true, Alan.
117
00:11:31,207 --> 00:11:34,923
- You built a space--
- Conveyor.
118
00:11:36,843 --> 00:11:40,784
- A space conveyor
under our house?
- Well, no. I--
119
00:11:40,816 --> 00:11:41,875
No?
120
00:11:41,908 --> 00:11:44,279
Actually, I built
the house...
121
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,346
on top
of the space conveyor.
122
00:11:48,379 --> 00:11:50,396
I hate to ask this,
123
00:11:51,292 --> 00:11:52,765
but what is
a space conveyor?
124
00:11:52,798 --> 00:11:53,985
[ Chuckles ]
125
00:11:55,232 --> 00:11:58,855
It's a device
that conveys people
through space.
126
00:12:01,641 --> 00:12:02,666
Through space?
127
00:12:03,916 --> 00:12:06,991
[ Dad ]
Yes.
128
00:12:07,023 --> 00:12:09,265
Well, how come
you never told me
about it before?
129
00:12:11,282 --> 00:12:13,207
We weren't permitted
to tell you, Son.
130
00:12:17,532 --> 00:12:22,850
So, you see,
planet observation is
supposedly a lifetime post.
131
00:12:24,227 --> 00:12:26,854
We've been here
since you were a baby.
132
00:12:26,886 --> 00:12:32,204
Oh. And then about
a week ago, we were told
we had to return to Alturus.
133
00:12:32,236 --> 00:12:34,607
- Alturus?
- Yes.
134
00:12:35,215 --> 00:12:36,178
Alturus?
135
00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:43,512
Mr. and Mrs. Alien?
136
00:12:43,544 --> 00:12:45,307
And son.
[ Chuckles ]
137
00:12:50,112 --> 00:12:51,585
When are we
supposed to move?
138
00:12:51,617 --> 00:12:53,349
[ Sighs ]
Tonight.
139
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:55,078
Tonight?
140
00:12:57,032 --> 00:12:58,953
Where is this... place?
141
00:12:58,984 --> 00:13:02,062
It's about
85 billion miles away.
142
00:13:04,238 --> 00:13:05,745
Can't we just
move to Cleveland?
143
00:13:05,778 --> 00:13:10,552
Alan, I'm afraid this--
This isn't a joke, Son.
144
00:13:12,634 --> 00:13:14,940
Okay. Sure.
145
00:13:15,709 --> 00:13:18,815
We're going to Alturus.
146
00:13:18,847 --> 00:13:21,410
Would you excuse me,
please? I have to go
pack my space suit.
147
00:13:21,442 --> 00:13:23,109
- Alan!
- Now, Alan, you--
148
00:13:24,807 --> 00:13:27,756
You do understand
that nobody else
can know about this.
149
00:13:27,788 --> 00:13:31,407
We weren't even
supposed to have told you
till just before leaving.
150
00:13:32,592 --> 00:13:34,996
- Right.
- Right.
151
00:13:35,026 --> 00:13:39,000
Listen,
I'm going back to bed
so I can wake up.
152
00:13:40,151 --> 00:13:41,658
Good night, Mom.
Good night, Dad.
153
00:13:41,691 --> 00:13:44,477
Alan. Alan!
154
00:13:46,014 --> 00:13:49,059
[ Alan ]
No. Uh-uh.
155
00:13:54,889 --> 00:13:56,748
[ Knocking ]
156
00:13:58,157 --> 00:14:00,271
Son.
157
00:14:00,304 --> 00:14:03,026
There's, uh, something
your mother and I'd
like you to look at.
158
00:14:03,058 --> 00:14:05,108
[ Chirping ]
159
00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:08,409
[ Beeping ]
160
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,882
[ Stops ]
161
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,320
[ Humming ]
162
00:14:32,435 --> 00:14:35,542
[ Gasps ]
I-I know that place.
163
00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:39,163
- I've seen it.
- Yes. In your dreams, Alan.
164
00:14:40,061 --> 00:14:41,630
I don't know
how you remember it.
165
00:14:41,662 --> 00:14:43,615
You were so young
when we left.
166
00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:48,838
- That's Alturus?
- Uh-huh.
167
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:55,214
- [ Beeps ]
- [ Knocking ]
168
00:15:11,935 --> 00:15:14,275
[ Vocalizing ]
169
00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:24,976
[ Imitating Ray-Gun ]
170
00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:27,538
[ Dad ]
Alan?
171
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,580
- [ Drops Book ]
- Here they are, folks.
172
00:15:30,612 --> 00:15:33,659
The Alien family,
together again.
173
00:15:33,689 --> 00:15:36,764
Alan, I must say,
I think you're taking this
rather poorly.
174
00:15:36,796 --> 00:15:40,161
Oh, really?
Sorry to disappoint you.
175
00:15:41,921 --> 00:15:43,780
Five minutes ago
I was Alan Webster...
176
00:15:43,813 --> 00:15:45,669
from Pacific Palisades,
California.
177
00:15:45,701 --> 00:15:49,387
Now I'm a life-form
from the planet Alturus.
178
00:15:50,412 --> 00:15:51,886
That's
a pretty big change...
179
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,905
for a kid to have
to go through, Dad.
180
00:15:57,365 --> 00:16:00,472
Excuse me. I'm late
for my last day of school.
181
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:07,359
?? [ Instruments Tuning ]
182
00:16:07,391 --> 00:16:09,090
[ Sighs ]
Alan.
183
00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:15,529
- [ Bell Rings ]
- Alan, are you all right?
184
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,514
I've been looking
all over for you.
Where've you been?
185
00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:20,911
I've been...
driving around.
186
00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:28,600
- You wanna go for a ride?
- Sure. Let's go.
187
00:16:31,643 --> 00:16:33,340
?? [ Continues ]
188
00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:36,545
[ Woman On Radio ]
All right, after that
stimulating set,
189
00:16:36,575 --> 00:16:38,274
we're gonna settle in
to a mellower groove.
190
00:16:38,306 --> 00:16:40,709
[ Alan ]
Karen,
191
00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:43,240
we've been close
for a long time,
haven't we?
192
00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:46,540
Since first grade.
193
00:16:46,571 --> 00:16:49,200
Shared our biggest secrets
with each other.
194
00:16:49,871 --> 00:16:51,569
Believed in each other,
195
00:16:51,601 --> 00:16:53,459
even when
nobody else would.
196
00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:58,520
Well, then...
I'm an alien.
197
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:04,319
I knew you
wouldn't believe it.
198
00:17:04,352 --> 00:17:06,595
Why should you?
I wouldn't
believe it either.
199
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,939
Karen,
there's a spaceship
under our house.
200
00:17:13,801 --> 00:17:16,718
I mean, a space conveyor.
201
00:17:18,255 --> 00:17:21,299
- A space conveyor?
- Yes. Yes.
202
00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:22,996
That's what
we're leaving in--
203
00:17:23,029 --> 00:17:26,618
to go to Alturus,
85 billion miles away.
204
00:17:28,411 --> 00:17:31,359
Oh, what's the use?
I sound like I'm crazy.
205
00:17:31,391 --> 00:17:32,992
- Wait a minute.
- Come on. Let's go.
206
00:17:34,722 --> 00:17:36,485
I don't understand.
207
00:17:38,437 --> 00:17:40,042
I believe you.
208
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:45,488
No. No, you don't.
209
00:17:46,928 --> 00:17:48,082
[ Sighs ]
210
00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:50,004
But thanks for saying so.
211
00:17:57,019 --> 00:17:58,813
I know
I'll never see you again.
212
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,851
It's not fair.
213
00:18:03,779 --> 00:18:05,382
It's just not fair.
214
00:18:14,254 --> 00:18:15,698
Your ring.
215
00:18:40,685 --> 00:18:42,768
Can you see it from here?
216
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:47,252
Mm-hmm. It's just left
of Ursa Major, Alan.
217
00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:49,142
Our sun isn't
too far away.
218
00:18:49,173 --> 00:18:51,706
And Alturus is
the fourth planet from it.
219
00:18:53,179 --> 00:18:56,382
Actually,
it's a lot like Earth,
you know.
220
00:18:56,413 --> 00:18:58,626
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
221
00:18:58,657 --> 00:19:01,220
I mean, the people
look the same
as they do here.
222
00:19:01,251 --> 00:19:03,141
It's just the language
that's different.
223
00:19:03,174 --> 00:19:06,378
Different?
How different?
224
00:19:06,409 --> 00:19:09,485
[ Speaks Alien Language ]
225
00:19:09,518 --> 00:19:14,163
I'm supposed to learn that?
I can't even pass French!
226
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,526
You're gonna be very happy
there, sweetheart.
I promise you.
227
00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:22,621
Can I watch
the World Series there?
228
00:19:22,651 --> 00:19:24,254
No.
229
00:19:26,176 --> 00:19:28,194
Buy a pepperoni pizza
there?
230
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:31,558
I'm afraid not, honey.
231
00:19:35,114 --> 00:19:36,781
Can I see
my friends there?
232
00:19:40,495 --> 00:19:41,649
No, Alan.
233
00:19:43,635 --> 00:19:44,695
[ Sighs ]
234
00:19:45,589 --> 00:19:48,570
But you can swim
in a golden sea.
235
00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:51,613
And you can watch
the setting of two moons.
236
00:19:51,646 --> 00:19:55,682
You can even take
your own rocket sled
to four different planets.
237
00:19:57,058 --> 00:19:58,661
My own rocket sled?
238
00:20:00,069 --> 00:20:02,314
You wouldn't even let me
have a motorcycle here.
239
00:20:02,346 --> 00:20:04,043
[ Chuckles ]
240
00:20:04,074 --> 00:20:07,631
Sweetheart, it's not
the end of your life,
you know.
241
00:20:07,663 --> 00:20:09,105
It's a whole new beginning.
242
00:20:13,204 --> 00:20:15,481
[ Chirping ]
243
00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:20,221
We're all set.
244
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,111
[ Beeping ]
245
00:20:26,821 --> 00:20:28,422
[ Laughing ]
246
00:20:28,453 --> 00:20:32,716
- [ Mother ] Oh, Alan.
- Is this the bus
to Alturus?
247
00:20:32,747 --> 00:20:34,767
[ Mother Laughs ]
248
00:20:45,145 --> 00:20:48,863
[ Humming ]
249
00:20:52,801 --> 00:20:58,089
[ Woman Speaking Spanish On P.A. ]
250
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,637
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're leaving Earth orbit
in three minutes.
251
00:21:02,669 --> 00:21:07,250
[ Speaking French
On P.A. ]
252
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,673
[ Speaking Italian
On P.A. ]
253
00:21:17,918 --> 00:21:19,393
Who are all these people?
254
00:21:19,423 --> 00:21:21,667
Observers, just like us.
255
00:21:21,699 --> 00:21:23,524
They've been stationed
all over the planet.
256
00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:26,281
[ Woman On P.A. ]
Ladies and gentlemen,
257
00:21:26,312 --> 00:21:30,284
we're leaving Earth orbit
in two minutes.
258
00:21:30,317 --> 00:21:33,586
[ Speaking French On P.A. ]
259
00:21:36,179 --> 00:21:40,858
[ Speaking Italian On P.A. ]
260
00:22:01,008 --> 00:22:03,410
Guess what my parents
told me tonight?
261
00:22:03,442 --> 00:22:05,461
[ Chuckles ]
1
00:00:06,683 --> 00:00:11,223
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
2
00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:49,632
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
3
00:01:01,176 --> 00:01:03,544
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
4
00:01:04,344 --> 00:01:06,199
[ Thunderclap ]
5
00:01:09,684 --> 00:01:11,635
[ Chattering ]
6
00:01:15,153 --> 00:01:16,881
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
7
00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:20,875
- Paint it.
- Pardon me?
8
00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:23,148
Yeah, paint it.
I'd go with a latex too.
9
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:40,833
You know, when I went
into the P.R. business,
10
00:01:40,865 --> 00:01:43,231
I never realized it stood
for "personal ruin."
11
00:01:49,849 --> 00:01:51,354
[ Sighs ]
12
00:01:53,977 --> 00:01:56,760
Hey, hey, buddy.
13
00:01:56,791 --> 00:01:59,957
- What, she break your heart
or take a shot at you?
- Don't ask.
14
00:01:59,988 --> 00:02:03,315
- Hey, you want
to talk about it?
- I said don't ask, okay?
15
00:02:03,347 --> 00:02:04,946
Well, come on, Joe.
16
00:02:04,979 --> 00:02:07,698
What is it,
your P.R. business,
your clients or what?
17
00:02:07,729 --> 00:02:10,511
My business. Hmm.
What business?
18
00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:13,580
What about
the Garshbuller's Candied
Dental Floss Company?
19
00:02:13,612 --> 00:02:17,865
Ah, hit with a class action
tooth decay suit.
20
00:02:17,898 --> 00:02:22,984
And to be honest with you,
I'm sick and tired of promoting
the Blue Underwear Company.
21
00:02:24,005 --> 00:02:25,541
Although at least,
they're still in business.
22
00:02:25,574 --> 00:02:29,093
But blue underwear--
[ Chuckles ]
it turns my stomach.
23
00:02:29,123 --> 00:02:31,969
Who wears blue underwear,
huh? Am I right?
It's offensive.
24
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:34,623
Well, yeah, okay,
all right, but, uh--
25
00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:36,798
Okay, how about that guy,
uh, the swimmer?
26
00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:38,685
Gadstone Simkins?
27
00:02:38,718 --> 00:02:41,692
Don't ask.
I get him write-ups
in the New Yorker.
28
00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:46,970
All the papers.
He does interviews on radio,
TV, the whole works.
29
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,272
- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
- A snowball
of publicity, right?
30
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:52,245
'Cause he's a local kid gonna
swim the English Channel...
31
00:02:52,277 --> 00:02:53,843
backstroke.
32
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:56,627
Now that's a new twist.
[ Sighs ]
33
00:02:56,658 --> 00:02:59,921
So, is it my fault the guy
swims headfirst into a rock
the size of a truck...
34
00:02:59,952 --> 00:03:02,383
a lousy 20 yards short
of the Gallic shoreline?
35
00:03:02,414 --> 00:03:06,571
And he's wearing
blue underwear.
36
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,330
Stuff will kill ya.
37
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:13,095
Ah, gee, Joe, that's--
must have been terrible.
He okay?
38
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,814
Yeah, he's okay. Yeah.
39
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,759
He's as dumb
as your socks now,
but he'll be all right.
40
00:03:18,789 --> 00:03:21,890
Gee. Well, I can understand
how come you might be
a little blue.
41
00:03:21,922 --> 00:03:23,618
Don't say blue, please?
42
00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:25,824
And you don't
understand yet,
43
00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:28,831
'cause I haven't done
anything but play
the overture here.
44
00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:31,709
The clarinets
are still cold.
45
00:03:33,053 --> 00:03:36,284
Couple of weeks back,
I go to my office.
46
00:03:36,314 --> 00:03:38,777
What we're try
to pull together here,
Mr. Willoughby--
47
00:03:38,810 --> 00:03:41,303
Is a contest.
A beauty contest.
48
00:03:41,334 --> 00:03:45,045
Hmm. Coffee,
Miss Schroedinger.
49
00:03:45,076 --> 00:03:47,059
Fast like a bunny.
50
00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,331
I love contests.
Just love 'em.
51
00:03:51,025 --> 00:03:53,422
But no animals, okay?
52
00:03:53,455 --> 00:03:54,797
I don't work
with animals.
53
00:03:54,829 --> 00:03:56,782
This is strictly people.
54
00:03:56,815 --> 00:03:59,309
We want to call it
the "Miss Stardust Contest."
55
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:02,314
I got you.
You play up the whole
galaxy angle, right?
56
00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:05,225
That's big. I like it.
57
00:04:05,256 --> 00:04:06,985
It's got nerve.
58
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,863
Well, I'm your man.
59
00:04:09,895 --> 00:04:11,174
Now, who had the cream?
60
00:04:11,206 --> 00:04:14,659
Just put it down, honey.
The boys will tie their
own bibs, hey, guys?
61
00:04:14,691 --> 00:04:18,818
It's real cream, you know.
Or maybe it's half and half
and half. I forget.
62
00:04:18,847 --> 00:04:22,142
[ Coughs ]
You know,
it's really stuffy in here.
63
00:04:22,175 --> 00:04:25,277
Not exactly the theory
of relativity, but
she's a good kid.
64
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,163
Clean. Very clean.
65
00:04:27,194 --> 00:04:30,297
The reason
we looked you up is
because we like the way...
66
00:04:30,328 --> 00:04:33,846
you managed Mr. Simkins
in the last couple of weeks.
67
00:04:33,879 --> 00:04:37,494
Yeah. Too bad he had
to make like the Titanic
and suck surf, huh?
68
00:04:37,525 --> 00:04:41,171
The point was,
you had a fresh angle.
69
00:04:41,203 --> 00:04:44,368
- Imagination.
- Journalistic
joie de vivre.
70
00:04:44,401 --> 00:04:45,679
What?
71
00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:49,006
Hey, you guys plannin'
to pay up front, right?
72
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,020
Substantially.
73
00:04:51,979 --> 00:04:53,325
It's a deal.
74
00:04:54,857 --> 00:04:56,841
[ Chuckles ]
Wow.
75
00:04:56,873 --> 00:04:59,015
- So you had
it made, right?
- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
76
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,830
Yeah, things looked
good. Real good.
77
00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:03,782
Jumbo coin.
78
00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:07,073
And then the day
of the pageant... trouble.
79
00:05:08,289 --> 00:05:10,305
Big trouble.
80
00:05:11,551 --> 00:05:14,142
- The cabbage showed up.
- [ Thunderclap ]
81
00:05:14,174 --> 00:05:17,756
...to the show.
Places! Places!
Two minutes.
82
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:22,394
[ Joe Narrating ]
You know, Mikey, it hadn't
rained on that date...
83
00:05:22,425 --> 00:05:24,697
since 1867 in this town.
84
00:05:24,727 --> 00:05:27,254
But on the day
of my contest, it pours.
85
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,758
I didn't like it.
Bad omen.
86
00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:30,772
But, hey,
I had fun with it.
87
00:05:30,803 --> 00:05:34,929
Well, what have we here?
Kukla, Fran and 0llie
together again, huh?
88
00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:38,832
- [ Man ] Let's go, ladies.
- Just tuggin' on your toes.
Just tuggin' on your toes.
89
00:05:38,862 --> 00:05:41,103
You guys must be
the judges, huh?
Joe Willoughby here.
90
00:05:41,135 --> 00:05:45,419
Ow. [ Chuckles ]
Well, is the hour nearly
at hand or what?
91
00:05:45,452 --> 00:05:46,924
Pulchritude awaits us.
92
00:05:46,954 --> 00:05:51,814
The perfect interstellar babe
is knocking on heaven's door.
93
00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:55,398
[ Man ] Let's go, girls.
Come on, come on.
Let's go. Places. Places.
94
00:05:55,428 --> 00:05:58,244
Let's go. Hurry up.
Come on.
95
00:05:58,277 --> 00:06:00,099
- Places.
- [ Thunderclap ]
96
00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:02,752
Oh, that's some
hot-looking storm there.
97
00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:05,024
[ Rumbling, Creaking ]
98
00:06:15,321 --> 00:06:17,113
[ Joe Narrating ]
Mikey, all
I can tell you is...
99
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,447
this thing was definitely
not from New York.
100
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:21,014
At least not
midtown Manhattan.
101
00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:25,779
It was like a cross
between Crazy Eddie
and a produce department.
102
00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:28,370
But there it was,
big as life.
And it spoke.
103
00:06:28,401 --> 00:06:29,712
You're in charge?
104
00:06:29,744 --> 00:06:32,685
[ Joe Narrating ]
It was the Green
Grocer's fantasy.
105
00:06:32,718 --> 00:06:34,061
And it was
staring me down.
106
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,644
Very well.
Since no one present
seems capable of speech,
107
00:06:37,675 --> 00:06:39,531
I shall state our case
and depart.
108
00:06:39,561 --> 00:06:42,313
- Your case?
- Ah, verbal skills.
Excellent.
109
00:06:42,344 --> 00:06:45,990
Hear me well.
This contest is
declared void.
110
00:06:46,022 --> 00:06:49,827
You have most inappropriately
named this event the
Miss Stardust Contest.
111
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:51,971
Your choice is
more than unwise.
112
00:06:52,002 --> 00:06:56,703
It is obnoxious,
naive and insulting
to a serious degree.
113
00:06:56,735 --> 00:06:58,462
Is this understood?
114
00:06:58,495 --> 00:07:00,543
Hey, go find yourself
some corned beef, okay?
115
00:07:00,573 --> 00:07:02,652
You are warned!
116
00:07:02,684 --> 00:07:05,211
Who is this guy?
What do you want?
117
00:07:05,242 --> 00:07:08,568
One of two things-- a change
in the contest title,
118
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,191
because there's
already been a contest
with the same name...
119
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,141
or representation.
120
00:07:13,174 --> 00:07:16,692
- Are you saying you got
a copyright on the name?
- We need no copyright!
121
00:07:16,724 --> 00:07:20,530
We have the necessary
potency to apply coercion
to your world!
122
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:21,840
And do not strain
our patience.
123
00:07:21,871 --> 00:07:24,782
[ Joe Narrating ]
Somewhere in the back alleys
and secret passages...
124
00:07:24,815 --> 00:07:27,246
of my P.R. man's
mind, Mikey,
125
00:07:27,277 --> 00:07:31,338
it came forward, rushing
toward my forehead--
an idea.
126
00:07:31,371 --> 00:07:34,056
An idea that was almost--
127
00:07:34,089 --> 00:07:36,104
Perfect.
128
00:07:36,135 --> 00:07:41,124
Tell you what, Cab-man,
you got yourself a deal.
129
00:07:41,893 --> 00:07:44,099
Now wait a minute.
130
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,082
This requires
a little discussion.
131
00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:48,224
Make your decision
or perish forever.
132
00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:50,270
Can I get anybody
some coffee?
133
00:07:50,302 --> 00:07:53,436
- Identify yourself!
- Oh, I'm Joey's assistant.
134
00:07:53,468 --> 00:07:57,243
I started out as a temp
after earning a B.A.
in liberal arts at Utah U.
135
00:07:57,274 --> 00:07:59,897
I'm currently earning a
competitive wage but eventually
I'd like to get into--
136
00:07:59,928 --> 00:08:01,336
Desist!
137
00:08:01,368 --> 00:08:03,799
Joey's assistant
has given me an idea.
138
00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:06,581
To insure your honesty
in this matter,
I will detain her.
139
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,765
Wait a minute.
140
00:08:07,796 --> 00:08:11,379
No way a brussels sprout
bursts in and kidnaps
my secretary.
141
00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:13,681
Joey, is he serious?
142
00:08:13,712 --> 00:08:15,472
Of course not.
[ Chuckles ]
143
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:24,107
Well, you live and learn.
144
00:08:24,139 --> 00:08:25,897
Wh-What have you
done with her?
145
00:08:25,928 --> 00:08:27,847
She is in dimension 49,
146
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,695
locked within a compartment
of the space-time continuum...
147
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,774
until I choose
to release her.
148
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:36,802
Dimension 49, huh?
What, she's not
good enough for 50?
149
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,680
You flirt with vaporization.
150
00:08:39,712 --> 00:08:42,144
I will transport
my entries here with me.
151
00:08:42,175 --> 00:08:44,157
I will inform the member
units of the alliance...
152
00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:46,876
and all with be here
within the hour.
153
00:08:46,908 --> 00:08:49,882
- Entries?
- [ Chuckles ]
Several thousand.
154
00:08:49,914 --> 00:08:52,569
- You gotta be kiddin'.
- I note reluctance.
155
00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:57,559
In that case, I will propose
a compromise simple enough
for even your comprehension.
156
00:08:57,589 --> 00:09:00,723
Okay, fine.
What's the compromise?
157
00:09:00,756 --> 00:09:05,170
Three interplanetary contestants
from your own solar system.
158
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,407
Fairness beyond this,
you cannot expect to receive.
159
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,135
Yeah.
160
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:12,047
We'll call her
"Miss Outer Space."
161
00:09:12,077 --> 00:09:16,490
No! "The Girl With the
Most Bodacious Antennas."
162
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:17,865
What do you say?
163
00:09:17,896 --> 00:09:19,752
See you at the contest.
164
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,358
[ Woman Gasps ]
165
00:09:31,873 --> 00:09:37,853
So, basically we mess up,
we all get zapped
into oblivion by a salad bar.
166
00:09:37,885 --> 00:09:40,124
- Great!
- That thing isn't
playing, Willoughby!
167
00:09:40,155 --> 00:09:42,778
What do you think happened
to your secretary?
Three weeks in Athens?
168
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:44,443
What are you gonna do, Joe?
169
00:09:44,474 --> 00:09:47,320
If she's in dimension 49,
I have no choice.
170
00:09:47,351 --> 00:09:49,334
I have to dock her
for the time's she gone.
171
00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:51,957
But what about what
the Cabbage Man said?
172
00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:58,066
He said the fate of mankind
hangs in the balance, right?
173
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,688
Well, that includes
me, right?
174
00:10:02,159 --> 00:10:03,693
[ Spits ]
175
00:10:03,726 --> 00:10:06,764
Fellas, my fee
just went up.
176
00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:13,735
I know it may sound
like P.R. hype, Mikey,
177
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:16,614
- but I was dreamin'
the big dream.
- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
178
00:10:16,645 --> 00:10:19,108
The one that's up in neon
with backup singers...
179
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,027
that spells, "Look out!"
180
00:10:21,058 --> 00:10:22,849
How do you figure it, Joe?
181
00:10:22,881 --> 00:10:26,079
So you say this
space creep has put
your secretary on ice...
182
00:10:26,112 --> 00:10:29,566
and he's gonna french fry
the world if you blow it?
183
00:10:29,597 --> 00:10:33,754
[ Chuckles ]
Joey, that sounds
like a nightmare.
184
00:10:33,786 --> 00:10:37,274
Maybe to a bartender it does,
but not to a P.R. man.
185
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:41,336
Publicity, pal. I was
getting the big one.
186
00:10:44,082 --> 00:10:46,898
Set up another round
and I just might tell you
the rest of the story.
187
00:10:49,008 --> 00:10:50,930
So, as long
as you're asking.
188
00:10:53,168 --> 00:10:55,887
This was some contest.
189
00:10:55,917 --> 00:10:57,677
- ?? [ Accordion ]
- Wow.
190
00:11:13,986 --> 00:11:16,641
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
191
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:22,749
[ Whirring ]
192
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:25,563
[ Joe Narrating ] But I'm
tellin' you, Mikey, you'd
have been real proud of me.
193
00:11:25,596 --> 00:11:31,192
Even though I was terrified,
I was poised-- a regular
cologne dispenser.
194
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,143
Hey, slaw boy,
you made it.
195
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:39,059
By the by, what did
you do to my secretary?
196
00:11:39,091 --> 00:11:42,003
You melt her down, turn her
into an asteroid or what?
197
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:46,351
My wards are losing patience
with you "Eath" people.
198
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:48,462
Heed my words, "Eathian"!
199
00:11:48,493 --> 00:11:54,793
Or the repercussions
begin with a woman known
as "Joey's Assistant."
200
00:11:54,825 --> 00:11:58,888
[ Laughing ]
201
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:05,635
- ?? [ Ends ]
- [ Applauding ]
202
00:12:07,682 --> 00:12:12,766
Well, now, let's hear it
for Miss Colorado.
[ Chuckles ]
203
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:15,324
Her hobbies
are nuclear physics
and deep sea fishing...
204
00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:19,738
and who plans someday
to teach auto repairs
to old people.
205
00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:22,233
- [ Rim Shot ]
- And now, ladies
and gentlemen,
206
00:12:22,265 --> 00:12:24,632
we've a few late entries,
207
00:12:24,664 --> 00:12:26,966
and they've traveled
a heck of a distance
to be here.
208
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:32,692
And we're thrilled that
we don't have to pay
the airfare for Miss Mars!
209
00:12:32,723 --> 00:12:34,610
?? [ Belly Dancing ]
210
00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:38,126
Oh.
211
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,069
?? [ Continues ]
212
00:12:41,102 --> 00:12:42,957
- [ Man ]
What's that?
- [ Chattering ]
213
00:12:42,987 --> 00:12:44,875
- [ Chattering Continues ]
- Ahh!
214
00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:47,659
[ Man #2 ]
Get the hook!
215
00:12:47,691 --> 00:12:50,056
[ People Hissing ]
216
00:12:52,998 --> 00:12:55,525
[ Woman ]
Go back to Mars!
217
00:12:59,555 --> 00:13:02,882
- [ Man, Indistinct ]
- Uh-uh. Ahh!
218
00:13:09,339 --> 00:13:13,882
- ?? [ Ends ]
- And, uh, now, ladies
and gentlemen, uh,
219
00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:17,401
let's have a big hand
for Miss Mars!
220
00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:18,680
[ Smattering Of Applause ]
221
00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:23,572
And now, Miss, uh, Venus,
would like to play
a little ditty for us.
222
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:27,376
It's something called
"I Wanna Hold Your Clam."
223
00:13:27,408 --> 00:13:29,487
[ People Groaning ]
224
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,173
- ?? [ Synthesized ]
- [ Woman Laughs ]
225
00:13:32,205 --> 00:13:34,956
- [ Chuckles ]
- [ Chattering ]
226
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:37,994
?? [ Continues ]
227
00:13:52,256 --> 00:13:54,178
[ Shrieking ]
228
00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:01,757
[ Shrieking Continues ]
229
00:14:06,393 --> 00:14:08,569
?? [ Continues ]
230
00:14:15,284 --> 00:14:16,339
[ Woman ]
Bravo!
231
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,727
This is highly
unsatisfactory.
232
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:26,061
You will alleviate
the situation...
233
00:14:26,093 --> 00:14:28,587
or there will be increasing
trouble for you.
234
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,763
Hey, how'd you like
to French-kiss a grater?
235
00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:32,265
I can't tell
the audience what to do.
236
00:14:32,297 --> 00:14:37,671
If Miss Mars is not chosen
winner, there will be severe
retaliation by her elders.
237
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:40,804
Boy, you are one humorless
vegetable, you know that?
238
00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:42,755
Why don't you give us
a break, huh?
239
00:14:42,787 --> 00:14:46,209
You created your own problem
when you named the contest
as you did.
240
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,088
- Face the music, "Eath-man."
- Earth.
241
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,542
- And I didn't
name the contest!
- Beside the actual point.
242
00:14:52,572 --> 00:14:55,803
[ Man ]
Let's have a big hand
for, uh, Miss Venus.
243
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,521
- [ Applauding ]
- Ladies and gents,
what can I say?
244
00:14:58,553 --> 00:15:00,441
Here's a future
mother of six,
245
00:15:00,472 --> 00:15:02,007
Miss Jupiter!
246
00:15:02,039 --> 00:15:05,142
- ?? [ Fanfare ]
- [ Applauding ]
247
00:15:05,174 --> 00:15:10,164
?? [ Singing Opera ]
248
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:16,975
?? [ Singing Continues ]
249
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,000
?? [ Singing Continues ]
250
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:32,579
Finish this contest quickly!
251
00:15:32,611 --> 00:15:37,569
My wards are becoming
violently ill at the sight
of "Eath-people" en masse.
252
00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:39,426
What're you talkin'
about, ill?
253
00:15:39,457 --> 00:15:43,806
Quite simply,
they find your appearance
surpassingly repugnant.
254
00:15:43,837 --> 00:15:47,100
[ Whirring, Tone ]
255
00:15:47,131 --> 00:15:48,571
I have decided.
256
00:15:48,604 --> 00:15:52,024
Miss Jupiter must be
awarded first prize,
257
00:15:52,055 --> 00:15:55,608
- in addition to Miss Venus
and Miss Mars.
- No way!
258
00:15:55,639 --> 00:15:59,763
They can't all win!
It's un-American!
It stinks!
259
00:15:59,795 --> 00:16:02,546
We do not like you,
"Eath-man."
260
00:16:02,578 --> 00:16:05,584
Earth. Earth.
It's called Earth.
261
00:16:05,617 --> 00:16:08,081
Not where I come from.
262
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:12,204
Mmm! We find you
obnoxious to the mind
and unwholesome to the eyes.
263
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:15,947
My wards and I will
rejoice when they have
all won first prize...
264
00:16:15,978 --> 00:16:19,368
and we can leave
your loathsome,
"hideouth" presence.
265
00:16:19,399 --> 00:16:22,598
"Hideouth"?
"Hideouth"?
266
00:16:22,629 --> 00:16:25,635
You think I'm "hideouth"?
267
00:16:27,457 --> 00:16:28,739
"Hideouth"?
268
00:16:30,273 --> 00:16:33,119
You think I'm "hideouth"?
269
00:16:34,142 --> 00:16:35,966
You are all "hideouth"!
270
00:16:35,999 --> 00:16:39,900
With the possible exception
of the "Eath-woman" you call
Joey's Assistant.
271
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:42,745
She has a certain...
savoir faire.
272
00:16:42,777 --> 00:16:44,794
?? [ Opera Singing
Continues ]
273
00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:54,356
?? [ Continues ]
274
00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:10,889
[ Laughing ]
275
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,278
- ?? [ Continues ]
- [ Laughing Continues ]
276
00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:21,570
[ Laughing Continues ]
277
00:17:21,602 --> 00:17:25,312
?? [ Continues ]
278
00:17:25,342 --> 00:17:27,232
?? [ Continues ]
279
00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:30,204
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Applauding ]
280
00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:34,521
[ Joe Narrating ]
Mikey, it's not every day
a man can tell his friends...
281
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,345
he's hatched a plan
to save mother "Eath,"
282
00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:37,977
but that's exactly
what I did.
283
00:17:38,008 --> 00:17:41,334
I was gonna give that green
geek and his orbit babes
and added prize--
284
00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:45,524
a hunk of trouble more
"hideouth" than they
could ever imagine.
285
00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:49,201
Ladies and gentlemen,
before we announce
our winner,
286
00:17:49,233 --> 00:17:54,062
I would like to add a very
special award to the list
of once-in-a-lifetime prizes.
287
00:17:54,094 --> 00:17:55,374
You're gonna love this.
288
00:17:55,406 --> 00:17:59,756
We already announced
the loving cup, the car,
the Hollywood contract,
289
00:17:59,786 --> 00:18:04,871
one free year's servicing
and chassis work at Aldo's
House of Beauty.
290
00:18:04,904 --> 00:18:08,485
But now-- now for
a really special prize.
291
00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:14,274
One month vacation
on the Mediterranean
with none other than guess who?
292
00:18:14,306 --> 00:18:18,942
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Universe!
293
00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:20,509
- ?? [ Drum Roll ]
- [ Gasps ]
294
00:18:20,541 --> 00:18:22,621
[ Women Screaming,
Cheering ]
295
00:18:24,123 --> 00:18:26,873
- [ Cheering ]
- [ Applauding ]
296
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:29,400
[ Screams ]
297
00:18:33,652 --> 00:18:37,780
- No! No! No!
This is "hideouth"!
- [ Women Screaming ]
298
00:18:40,209 --> 00:18:44,175
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
299
00:18:49,292 --> 00:18:51,532
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
300
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,497
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
301
00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:57,608
[ Clears Throat ]
302
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,744
You! You attempt trickery!
303
00:19:02,212 --> 00:19:05,698
Hey, it's our contest.
[ Laughs ]
304
00:19:05,731 --> 00:19:08,129
We'll give you first prize,
305
00:19:08,162 --> 00:19:11,999
but we reserve the right
to decide what first prize is.
306
00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:14,428
Beside the actual point!
307
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:19,738
How dare you
choose that creature
to be Mr. Universe!
308
00:19:19,769 --> 00:19:22,968
Are you unaware the universe
contains more galaxies...
309
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:25,878
than there are stars
in your own galaxy?
310
00:19:25,908 --> 00:19:29,811
- Gimme a break.
- Ahh! I will give
you a cataclysm!
311
00:19:29,841 --> 00:19:32,114
This deceit calls
for drastic action.
312
00:19:32,146 --> 00:19:34,961
I must call immediately
on the Alliance of Galaxies.
313
00:19:34,992 --> 00:19:36,751
Whooooo!
314
00:19:36,782 --> 00:19:39,853
Ah! There will be a contest
held in this building...
315
00:19:39,886 --> 00:19:45,994
to decide who is really
entitled to the name
"Mr. Universe."
316
00:19:46,024 --> 00:19:51,719
Just exactly what
are you talking about
in round numbers, huh?
317
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:56,964
There are
approximately 7,595,000
base representatives,
318
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:59,618
which should give even
a mind such as yours...
319
00:19:59,649 --> 00:20:02,529
some idea of
the insignificance
of your planet...
320
00:20:02,561 --> 00:20:05,023
as it rolls
through the void.
321
00:20:07,229 --> 00:20:09,307
So, what did you
finally do?
322
00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,099
It wasn't easy,
I'll tell you that much.
323
00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:12,985
It wasn't easy at all.
324
00:20:13,018 --> 00:20:15,063
In fact,
325
00:20:15,095 --> 00:20:18,805
to be honest with you,
it isn't even what I did.
326
00:20:18,836 --> 00:20:22,004
No. Mankind was
saved by love.
327
00:20:22,036 --> 00:20:25,938
It seems that old cabbage head
had a real thing for
Miss Schroedinger.
328
00:20:25,969 --> 00:20:29,551
She got him off our backs
when he asked her
to get hitched.
329
00:20:29,582 --> 00:20:33,516
Quite a wedding.
Best man had suction cups.
330
00:20:33,549 --> 00:20:35,438
They're on their
honeymoon now.
331
00:20:35,469 --> 00:20:38,634
Joe, I gotta be
honest with you.
332
00:20:38,665 --> 00:20:43,909
This story is the most
unbelievable pile...
333
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:47,427
of a number between one
and three I ever heard.
334
00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,506
Come on,
it never happened.
335
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,322
It never even came
close to happening.
336
00:20:52,353 --> 00:20:56,319
You're totally insane,
and you owe me
for those drinks.
337
00:20:56,352 --> 00:20:57,949
So you don't
believe me, huh?
338
00:20:57,981 --> 00:21:01,819
Not in a million years.
What, do I look stupid
to you?
339
00:21:03,865 --> 00:21:06,232
Here, that's
for the drinks.
340
00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:08,056
Oh, and by the way,
341
00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:13,333
here's a little something
for bein' nice, for listenin'
to an insane man.
342
00:21:13,364 --> 00:21:16,242
[ Chuckles ]
343
00:21:17,169 --> 00:21:18,929
See you around, pal.
344
00:21:18,959 --> 00:21:20,559
So long, Joe.
345
00:21:20,591 --> 00:21:22,737
?? [ Whistling ]
346
00:21:24,397 --> 00:21:28,138
- [ Door Closes ]
- Hi, Joey! I sure hope
everything's okay back home.
347
00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:30,857
Personally, I never had
such a fun honeymoon
in my whole life.
348
00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:34,664
All we do is play
up here on the third moon
of Ungareena Mycappia.
349
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:37,477
Of course, all
the food is plaid...
350
00:21:37,509 --> 00:21:39,653
and I miss the fresh air
of "Eath" and everything,
351
00:21:39,685 --> 00:21:41,507
but Cabby's been
so nice to me.
352
00:21:41,538 --> 00:21:43,650
And I always
was a vegetarian!
353
00:21:43,683 --> 00:21:46,017
Take it easy.
I gotta go.
354
00:21:46,049 --> 00:21:48,928
- Well, have fun.
- Greetings.
355
00:21:48,958 --> 00:21:52,764
I trust events transpire
pleasantly down on "Eath,"
Willoughby.
356
00:21:52,797 --> 00:21:55,003
Don't take any
Varcon Fundiggies.
357
00:21:55,035 --> 00:21:57,882
[ Laughing ]
154186
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