Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:07,959
Hi, guys.
2
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,479
So, I'm back home, and I can't get
Ireland out of my head.
3
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:11,959
I'm changed. I'm in turmoil.
4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,999
I mean, firstly, I loved the place.
5
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,959
Then I met this chick, Joy.
6
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,959
And for want of another term,
she steals kids.
7
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,799
I mean, she stole a baby
and tried to pass it off as her own.
8
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:22,959
INHALES DEEPLY
9
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,959
Now, I know you guys know
I'm pretty relaxed,
10
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,959
and most things are chill with Will,
but stealing babies has me shook.
11
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:31,960
I mean, who steals a kid
just to freak out their ex?
12
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,960
SHE SNORTS
13
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,959
Skinny jeans. Ugh.
14
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,959
HE SNORTS,
MUMBLES
15
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:00,960
Ursula.
16
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:14,960
DOOR SLAMS
17
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:23,960
Joy!
18
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,959
Is Maeve coming out to play?
19
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,959
Oh, that is so weird.
20
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:38,959
Do you remember
when we used to do that?
21
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,959
JOY CHUCKLES
No, I used to do that.
22
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,959
You used to pretend you were
doing just grand on your own,
23
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,959
with your nose
pressed up against the window,
24
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,959
staring at us
playing British Bulldogs.
25
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,639
No.
LAUGHS
26
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,959
They were good times.
- Yeah, that you watched.
27
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,959
Do you know one thing
I will say, Maeve?
28
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,640
I bruise like a peach,
and that game is Grade-A violence.
29
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:01,959
So, where's Stan the camera?
30
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,959
No Stan, no Stan. No Stan.
31
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,959
Just you and me going on
a surprise adventure.
32
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,959
You've got to live
while you can, Maeve,
33
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,799
cos once you're dead,
you're dead forever.
34
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,959
You're really coming at me
with the hard science this morning.
35
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,959
OK, quezzie time.
36
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,960
Name one thing we always wanted
to do when we were younger.
37
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,959
SCOFFS
Jason Priestly, for you.
38
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,639
You know, for me,
in hindsight, Donna Martin.
39
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:26,959
No, go again. No people.
40
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,959
Get on The Late Late Toy Show
and drive a mini car around the set
41
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,639
out of the studio
and all the way home.
42
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:32,959
No, go again.
43
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,959
Er, afternoon tea in a posh hotel?
44
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,479
- No, go again.
- Er...
45
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,960
- No more going again.
- What are you...?
46
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,959
Oh, OK. Oh, this is all
a bit 50 Shades Of Grey.
47
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,639
Will there be Jamie Dornan?
48
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,959
Sadly, no.
THEY CHUCKLE
49
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,959
Yeah, it's a surprise, Maeve,
so you're not allowed
50
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,999
to see anything else
until it's actually happening.
51
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,959
OK, but can I just ask,
is it sex-based?
52
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,159
Negator!
53
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,999
OK, so it doesn't involve
Johnny Logan or Linda Martin?
54
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,959
Does it involve fencing?
55
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:03,959
Maeve, do you know what?
56
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,959
You're actually really crap
at guessing things.
57
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,959
So I'm shutting
that whole side of things down.
58
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,160
- Can I talk?
- No.
59
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,960
Taxi should be here soon.
60
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,160
CAT MEOWS
61
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,960
DOG BARKING
62
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,800
PHONE RINGS
Oh.
63
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,479
Oh.
- I am so...
64
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,959
I'm so sorry. I'm...
- So sorry.
65
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,319
I'm so sorry.
66
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,959
Sorry about this.
67
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,960
Oh, I'll shut that down.
RINGING STOPS
68
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,639
Joy? Joy, Joy, Joy.
69
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,959
Joy, answer your phone.
70
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,319
I know you're there because
that's the nature of mobiles.
71
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,959
You can't just disappear
when shit hits the fan,
72
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,959
and shit has hit the fan.
73
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:07,959
'Stealing babies has me shook.
74
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,959
'I mean, who steals a kid
just to freak out their ex?'
75
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,959
Will Dack has fucked you
on a global level.
76
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,959
Your reputation online
is of an insane baby-stealer,
77
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,959
and we need to post something
in response.
78
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,959
The longer we leave it,
the worse it gets.
79
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,959
If we don't post something
by the end of the day,
80
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:29,959
you've basically re-branded yourself
as a combo of Fred and Rose West.
81
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,959
A two-headed,
baby-munching gargoyle,
82
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,959
which rather limits
sponsorship opportunities.
83
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,959
I think you'll agree. So call me.
84
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,959
KEYPAD BEEPS,
PHONE THUDS
85
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,959
She's off the reservation.
86
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,959
Off the reservation
with 150,000 followers.
87
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,959
Shouldn't you be setting up
a search party?
88
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:51,959
Yes, a search party.
Fan out, flyers, cover the island.
89
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,959
Cover the island?
90
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,959
I don't know, it felt right.
91
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,159
Look, she'll be back.
92
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,959
She's probably just sitting calmly
in a dark room,
93
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,959
thinking of an amazing response.
94
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,960
Yeah. Cos sitting calmly
and thinking is just so Joy.
95
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:11,959
Yeah.
96
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,959
Oh! Oh, God, I am so sorry.
97
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,959
I am, erm... I'm on an adventure.
98
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,959
I can't see your face
with that thing on.
99
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,959
Yeah, so, basically,
it's that exact face
100
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,959
except there's two eyes here.
101
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,959
Like, your classic two-eyes,
two-eyebrows set-up,
102
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:27,959
and then the rest, you can see.
103
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,799
- Lift the blindfold.
- Really?
104
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,959
Really.
JOY SIGHS
105
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,959
You don't open your eyes, OK?
106
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,639
- Done.
- I need to see your eyes.
107
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,959
Why, though? Are you worried
she has lasers in there?
108
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,320
Like tiny eye lasers?
109
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,959
OK, on the count of three, yeah?
110
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:45,959
I mean, whatever.
111
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,959
OK, so, one, two, three.
Are you ready?
112
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,959
OK, one, two, three.
113
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,999
JOY MIMICS MACHINE GUN
Pew-pew!
114
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,479
Are you putting me in prison?
PHONE RINGS
115
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,959
Don't be silly.
This is a fun adventure.
116
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,959
Ma'am, are the bouncy castles
this way?
117
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,959
Oh! Oh, my God, Funderland.
118
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,959
I love Funder.
119
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,959
Joy, will you just answer
or call me back as soon as you can?
120
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,319
We need to talk about last night.
121
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,959
Look, I'm really
just freaking out here.
122
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,959
Is that Joy?
123
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,959
Hey, girlfriend, we miss you.
124
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,959
Look, I know it's a bit weird
125
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:20,959
and you've only been away
for one night,
126
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,999
but it's just made me realise
how important you are to me
127
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,959
and what a good friend you've been,
128
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,479
and what a great shoulder
you are to cry on
129
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,159
and such a positive influence.
130
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,959
'And I guess the bottom line is,
131
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,959
'you've become someone
really important to me, Joy.'
132
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,959
'Steady on, Christie.'
'I mean it.'
133
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,960
Also, we need milk.
134
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:41,960
Let's make love.
135
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,960
I can basically never go home.
136
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,319
I hate having a clairvoyant
as a roommate.
137
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,959
I smell diesel.
138
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,959
Are we going
to the ploughing championships?
139
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,959
Cos I'm pretty sure
I never wanged on about that
140
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,959
when I was a teenager.
141
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,959
No.
142
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,959
Not long to wait
for the big reveal now.
143
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,959
PHONE RINGS
144
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,959
You're getting a lot of calls.
145
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,959
It's a gas, isn't it?
146
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,800
Mm. A pain in the hole,
I'd have said.
147
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,959
Do you even have a phone?
148
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,959
Nah, massive waste of time.
149
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,999
Yeah.
150
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,960
PHONE RINGS,
JOY SIGHS
151
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,959
'You've found Joy. Leave a message.'
152
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,959
Oh, hey, Joy.
BABY CRYING IN BACKGROUND
153
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,959
Hope everything
is sensational with you,
154
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,959
because it is sensational over here.
155
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,959
I was just dropping you
a quick line
156
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,960
to let you know
that my husband has left me.
157
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,960
So that's pretty fun, isn't it?
158
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,960
Yes, so, if you've got a quick sec,
if you can give me a call back.
159
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,999
OK. Bye.
160
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,999
CRYING CONTINUES
161
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,640
And...
162
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,159
Joy, we're on a boat!
163
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,960
Don't be scared, Maeve.
164
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,959
JOY LAUGHS
For fuck's sake!
165
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,960
We're going to Holyhead!
166
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,959
To... To Holyhead? No, I have plans.
167
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,959
No, balls to your plans!
168
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,159
We always said we'd do it,
you and me.
169
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,159
We'd just get out of here,
get the boat to Holyhead
170
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,959
and go to Boots
and get cola-flavoured lip balms
171
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:30,799
and body butter
that smelt of bloody papaya!
172
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,959
I'm not crying, Maeve, I'm not.
173
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,999
It's just the sea air
makes my eyes water so bad!
174
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,319
Do you know if we were shipwrecked
175
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,959
and I was on a piece of driftwood,
176
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,639
and I thought there was even
a tiny bit of room on it for you,
177
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,639
I would bunch over
a little bit more.
178
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,960
I just think Rose was so scabby
on that front.
179
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,160
You mad bitch!
180
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,959
Yeah! Yeah.
181
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,959
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Well, I mean, one last adventure!
182
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,959
It doesn't have to be
our last adventure, Maeve.
183
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,959
Well, I mean, no. No!
184
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,959
MAEVE LAUGHS
Of course.
185
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,639
And you know what?
I bloody love lip balm.
186
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,959
Holyhead!
187
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:19,479
We are coming
for your exportable perfumes, guys!
188
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,959
Papaya!
189
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:23,959
PHONE RINGS
190
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,959
Ugh! My phone!
191
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:27,960
- Ugh.
- Ah!
192
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,960
SHE GRUNTS
193
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,640
God, I instantly regret that.
194
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,159
Is it deep?
195
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,959
It looks deep.
- Really. I mean, it's like...
196
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,960
Oh!
197
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,479
JOY GASPS
Oh!
198
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,960
MAEVE LAUGHS
199
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:06,960
Hi, guys.
200
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,959
JOY LAUGHS
201
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,959
Oh, my God, look at the bunting.
Welsh bunting.
202
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,959
- It's so...
- I love the dragon.
203
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,959
Oh, look,
there's the family lawyers.
204
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:20,960
Ah!
205
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,959
THEY LAUGH
206
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,960
Papaya, blueberry,
passion fruit, orange...
207
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,959
Look at this, look at this.
208
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,320
Oh!
209
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,960
Oh! Smell that.
210
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,960
Kiwi or kumquat.
- Yeah, yeah.
211
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,479
I'll puff mine out.
212
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,959
Pah! Pah!
213
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,959
THEY CHATTER
214
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:53,959
Shall we go in?
- Yeah.
215
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,320
- We're going in.
- Yes.
216
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,959
God, it's just so different here.
217
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,639
I really feel the benefit
of the break, too.
218
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,959
It's cos the air is so clean.
219
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,959
And the shops.
- Oh, the shops are just there.
220
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,959
And they're just so full of...
things.
221
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,959
- Yeah.
- Mental.
222
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,959
And the people are...
223
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,799
- Oh.
- ...so lovely.
224
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:20,959
And so centred.
MAN YELLING
225
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,159
- Yeah.
- Wise and...
226
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,959
I know.
Stupid machine!
227
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,959
Oh, and their skin.
228
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,959
- Oh, skin!
- Their skin is so good.
229
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,479
Oh.
230
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,960
JOY SIGHS
CONTENTEDLY
231
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,959
- And...
- We should get home.
232
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,000
Yeah.
233
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,959
Bye, guys!
234
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,960
Fucking hell!
235
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,959
JOY GASPS
Deadly!
236
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,959
No, no. No, no, no.
237
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,959
Not deadly at all.
I have stuff to do, stuff to...
238
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,959
- Maeve, Maeve.
- ...finish at home.
239
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,959
What if we can never go home?
JOY GASPS
240
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,959
We live here now, Maeve. Welcome.
241
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,639
No, I REALLY need to get home.
242
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,959
I do.
243
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,160
I mean, I've loved it here,
but, er...
244
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,959
Yeah. Yeah, OK.
245
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,960
Yeah.
246
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:19,960
Yeah.
247
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:28,799
But, er, now that we live here,
248
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,959
you know, I think
that we should enjoy ourselves.
249
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,959
If we're gonna do it,
we are gonna really actually do it.
250
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,959
We are gonna get...
251
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,959
tattoos!
- Cola-flavoured lip balms!
252
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,960
I'm sorry, what?
- Tattoos.
253
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:46,960
- What?
- Tattoos.
254
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,999
Tattoos? Tattoos?
255
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,959
Takeaway shots! Takeaway shots!
256
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,960
Yes!
257
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,959
Takeaway shots.
258
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,959
Truly, we are living
in the golden age of Holyhead.
259
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,959
CHUCKLES
Oh, we're such mad bitches, Maeve.
260
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:14,959
Me with the shots, and you getting
your cutie, little ankle tattoo.
261
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,959
Oh, it's gonna be so gorgeous
in the summer
262
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,959
with little dresses
and little sandals.
263
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:20,960
Oh, my God!
264
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,959
What?
265
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,960
If you're gonna get a tattoo,
get a tattoo.
266
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:29,960
Is it too small?
267
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:31,960
No.
268
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,959
No, I think it's gonna be...
269
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,959
I think it's gonna be grand
in the summer,
270
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,959
with a really heavy fringe
271
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,959
or maybe all of the rest
of your hair
272
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,959
just combed forward
across your forehead.
273
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,639
And here, well done on your tattoo.
274
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:48,960
Yeah.
275
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,959
It's just that one dot of ink,
isn't it?
276
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,959
Yeah. But, you know,
as you said, it's a symbol.
277
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,959
Well done, brave soldier.
278
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,959
- Thank you.
- Here, neck that back.
279
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,959
You too, pal.
280
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:04,000
We are going dancing!
281
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,319
Ow.
- Ah!
282
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,160
DISCO MUSIC PLAYING
283
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,959
So, we heard that if you get
a Holyhead Nights tattoo,
284
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,959
you basically get
free drink here forever.
285
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,799
Yeah, you do, but only up to 9pm.
286
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,319
Yeah, but it's, like,
four minutes past nine.
287
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,960
Exactly.
BOTH GROAN
288
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:29,959
Two pints of wine, please.
289
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,639
Works out cheaper if you get
two litres in jugs with straws.
290
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,639
I love Wales.
291
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:37,959
So do I.
292
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,960
Oh!
293
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,999
Aw. Mm!
294
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,959
Oaky, woody.
295
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,960
- Mm. Cheers.
- Aw, cheers, my lady.
296
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,959
Excuse me,
what type of wine is that?
297
00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,960
White wine.
298
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,319
Ooh.
299
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,000
I have to go dancing now.
300
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,959
Hywel, we need to stop
that tattoo deal.
301
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:10,960
JOY GROANS
302
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,959
Oh, this is burning my oesophagus.
303
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,959
Ah, me too.
304
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,959
Those are great old jugs, Maeve.
305
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,479
Do you remember the time you raided
306
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,639
your parents' drinks cabinet
and you got so drunk,
307
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,799
you puked out your nose,
you burned your nostrils,
308
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,319
and you had to apply
eight-hour cream
309
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,959
up there with a cotton bud
for, like, two weeks?
310
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,960
Yeah!
MAEVE LAUGHS
311
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,959
Oh, this is so greaaaat!
312
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,959
You know, we are 99.9% Irish,
313
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:48,959
but we are 100% human!
314
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,000
Our culture's meshing!
315
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,959
Oh.
316
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:02,640
Yes, yes!
317
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,960
CROWD SHOUTING
318
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,960
Argh!
319
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,959
Hi, this is so not personal,
320
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,639
it's just, you only live once,
321
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,959
and I've never been involved
in a bar brawl.
322
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:35,960
Sorry.
323
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:38,959
Oh!
324
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,800
Ugh.
325
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,960
Ow. A closed fist,
you absolute lunatic!
326
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,639
I'm here for the rugby.
327
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,320
And for sex.
328
00:16:54,960 --> 00:17:00,959
You guys say "grand"
for a big house,
329
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:05,639
and we say "grand"
for "yeah, fine, OK".
330
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,960
Does that not blow your mind?
331
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,959
Your friend's crazy.
332
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,959
SLURPING
333
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,960
Yeah. She lives
like there's no tomorrow.
334
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:23,320
Just can't apologise for being you.
335
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,319
You, that includes you, my friend!
336
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,999
Just stop apologising
for everything.
337
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,999
Get down immediately,
or I'm calling the police.
338
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,960
So sorry.
339
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,959
BELCHES,
MAEVE AND JOY LAUGH
340
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:43,959
BELCHES
341
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,959
JOY, LAUGHING: Oh, my God.
342
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,160
JOY BELCHES
You're the cutest.
343
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,320
- I'm drunk.
- Mm.
344
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,959
No, I'm not done.
345
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,959
Mm-mm-mm. No siree.
346
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,999
MAEVE RETCHES
Oh, my.
347
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,959
MAEVE COUGHING
348
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,480
Maeve!
349
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,800
JOY RETCHES
350
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,960
RETCHING,
COUGHING
351
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,959
MAEVE EXHALES
352
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,959
Maeve, we're not gonna get
our deposit back.
353
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,959
I just puked all over
the rhododendrons.
354
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,640
MAEVE GROANS
Oh, God.
355
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:36,959
We had fun!
356
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,320
We had fun.
357
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,959
Oh, my God, I'm dying.
358
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,959
Oh, my God.
359
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,320
Me too.
360
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,480
I'm not
the best of friends, Maeve.
361
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:58,960
I'm not the best of people.
362
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,960
You know, I'm just grand.
363
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,960
I wanna be better.
364
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,959
SIGHS
365
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:10,960
I'm so sorry.
366
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,959
I was the one that stole
your bottle of Davidoff Cool Water.
367
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,959
It wasn't Sinead.
368
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:34,960
No!
369
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,960
Sorry.
370
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,800
- I gave her a dead arm.
- I know.
371
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,960
Poor Sinead.
372
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:49,960
It's OK.
373
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,480
Thank you.
374
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,160
BFFs.
375
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:06,959
Boots, been in there.
376
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,959
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
377
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,960
So, hey, back to the, er... Yeah.
JOY GROANS
378
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,960
Thank you for this.
379
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,959
I needed it more than you know.
380
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,639
You need a fringe
more than you know, so...
381
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,959
I'm gonna miss you so much.
382
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,479
Well, I'm gonna see you next week
383
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,960
cos I'm literally gonna come back
and see you next week.
384
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:47,959
I don't want you to be sad,
you know?
385
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,959
I don't want you to beat yourself up
about what we didn't do, and...
386
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,959
Yeah, I am a bit sad
that we didn't go
387
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,959
to that Holyhead art exhibition.
388
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,959
I'm just so obsessed
with culture, Maeve.
389
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,959
But we did have
toad in the hole for breakfast,
390
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,999
and I don't care what anybody says
about imports or whatsits,
391
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,960
we still don't have
that in Ireland.
392
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,959
One last goodbye.
393
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,959
Absolutely. But, like,
for literally seven days.
394
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,960
THEY CHUCKLE
Come here.
395
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,960
SIGHS
396
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:09,960
You came!
397
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:11,959
Hi.
398
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,800
I know you're busy.
I really appreciate that you came.
399
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,319
I did. Yeah, of course I did.
400
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,959
I left Olivia at my mum's.
You got my message.
401
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,959
Yeah.
402
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,160
So, what do you think?
403
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,959
What do I think?
Well, what do you think?
404
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,959
It's difficult to explain.
405
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,959
Just try, though?
406
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,959
- Can you believe he's left?
- Left? Who?
407
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,959
I can't believe I'm saying the words
"my husband has left me".
408
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,959
Oh, my God, Trish! Are you kidding?
409
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:40,960
No.
410
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,959
Sorry, it's just so shocking.
411
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,640
It's like every time, I'm literally
hearing it for the first time.
412
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:50,959
OK.
413
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,960
Let's get a cup of tea.
414
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,960
So, tell me everything
from the start.
415
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,959
Morning.
- Morning.
416
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,960
You doing OK?
417
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,960
I got a text this morning from Stan.
418
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,959
OK, let me explain. You see,
we went for a swim in the sea,
419
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,639
and then we were staying
in this tiny caravan,
420
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:33,959
and it was so small in there.
421
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,799
The way you're like,
"Sorry, can I get by?"
422
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,959
Then we started kissing, and then
it just slipped in for a minute.
423
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,959
No, n-not that.
424
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,960
What is it?
425
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,960
Maeve is dead.
426
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,960
DOG BARKING
427
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,000
DOG BARKING
428
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,959
DOGS HOWLING
429
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,960
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com
29672
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof