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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,959 I don't know how to do it. 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,319 Like I keep trying to fit the parts into the parts, 3 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,959 and there are both too many parts and not enough parts. 4 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,959 And I'm highly aware that I keep saying the word "parts." 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,959 We've tried every way. 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,959 That does not fit into that. 7 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:21,959 - Yeah. - Mm. 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,959 We should probably start calling that Olivia. 9 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,959 I could swear there's way more male buttons 10 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:28,959 than female buttons. 11 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,959 Well, that's the bloody patriarchy for you. 12 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,959 Yeah. I'd like a white babygrow, please. 13 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,959 We have to stop stressing. 14 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,959 Today I am going to find the joy 15 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,999 of being in the now with a baby called Olivia. 16 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,959 - Hm. - Not everything fits 17 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,639 but everything works. 18 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,959 Ta-da! 19 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,959 OLIVIA CRYING AND FARTING 20 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,959 SQUELCHING 21 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,960 Did you have to do that? 22 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,959 UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS 23 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,960 DOG BARKING 24 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:01,960 Hiya! 25 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,960 Oh, my God! 26 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,959 Cute baby, Joy! 27 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,959 OMINOUS CHOIR MUSIC PLAYS Thank you. 28 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:16,959 I mean, it's not yours, but by all means gobble up the compliment. 29 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,319 Yeah, I'm helping out a friend who's working on her marriage. 30 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,959 She's gone away with her husband to talk things through, 31 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,959 hopefully they'll have their problems ironed out 32 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,319 before close of business today. 33 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,959 My parents are always telling me that I'm the reason they broke up, 34 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,959 which is nice. - Aw. 35 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,959 Are you trying to do the same thing? 36 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:34,959 Oh, honey, she won't be able to answer you. 37 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:35,959 She's a baby. 38 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,479 I know, Joy. It was rhetorical. 39 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,479 Ooh, somebody swallowed a dictionary. 40 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:41,959 JOY CHUCKLES 41 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,479 Don't come any closer, Joy. 42 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,959 OMINOUS CHOIR MUSIC PLAYS 43 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,959 I find babies massively intimidating. 44 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,319 JOY CHUCKLES 45 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,959 Heard the baby talk, Joy. 46 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,319 And just so you know, 47 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,959 if she gets hungry or anything, you know, you can... 48 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,959 Don't feed the baby fig rolls, I know. Ha! 49 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,480 No, I meant, you know, happy to help out. 50 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,799 I meant to stop myself ages ago but here I am, mum-of-two. 51 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,960 I'm sorry, are you suggesting that you would... 52 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,959 - That... - What? 53 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,639 - That's disgusting. - That's disgusting. 54 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:14,959 That is disgusting. 55 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,959 - That's disgusting. - That's disgusting. 56 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,959 I meant I would hold the baby, Joy. 57 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,320 - Yeah, and I have formula, Karen. - Good. Use it. 58 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,959 I used to hate babies too, Phillip. 59 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,959 I never said I hated them, Joy. 60 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:30,959 But they change you. 61 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:35,959 You change. I can't explain it. - Joy, it's not your baby. 62 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:36,959 I used to think they were gross, 63 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,959 but they're quite good, aren't they? 64 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,959 - Once you can hand them back. - Ha-ha. Totally. 65 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,959 OK, let's get down to business. 66 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,959 So this week was good. It was, erm, funny. 67 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,959 You know, the whole #volcel thing blew up, 68 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,479 which was quite a surprise to all of us here. 69 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,959 And then the snogging in the chipper thing 70 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,159 was a fun pivot away from that, 71 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,959 you know, a nice development in the ongoing quest for happiness. 72 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,479 Thank you. Super-planned. 73 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,959 OK, well, if you could let us in on those plans in the future 74 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,959 because we're a team here. - Gotcha. 75 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,959 And I do think that we can bag a permanent sponsor 76 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,320 if we continue to carve out our niche uniquely. 77 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,999 Uniqueness. 78 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,959 Yes, I've been watching Flora and loads of other unique people, 79 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,959 and I want to be exactly like them. 80 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:24,959 Today, I'm going to find the joy of parenting 81 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,319 with this little munchkinhead. 82 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,959 I think a lot of parents are like me. 83 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:29,959 Joy, there are no parents like you. 84 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,959 Maybe there's not many, but there's some. 85 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,959 - Stan. - I think if I can get parents 86 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,959 to be at one with their children, the whole joy of parenting 87 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,959 is just going to flow more naturally. 88 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,159 Do you know what, I'm going to do 89 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,959 bullet points for Trish when I'm done. 90 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,959 Do you know one thing that I have learned from being a parent? 91 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,639 Having been a parent to a baby that's not yours, that you... 92 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,959 It's just... ..basically had for an hour, 93 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,959 that's been asleep the majority of the time. 94 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,959 I think that it's just like we get so caught up. 95 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,959 No, I don't think so. Where's time for me? 96 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,159 How do I fit her into my life? 97 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,639 Knock, knock in there, you are missing everything. 98 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,959 Just slow down and relax, you know? 99 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,960 They grow up so quickly. Stan, they grow up so fast. 100 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:11,960 All right. 101 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,799 - Honest quezzie? - Shoot. 102 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:24,959 Are you worried about seeming patronising and insane? 103 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,800 No. Next quezzie. 104 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:28,959 No further quezzies. 105 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,480 Perfect. Aw! 106 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,960 Joy. 107 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,640 Roughly how long are you going to be asleep for? 108 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:48,999 KNOCKS Knock, knock. 109 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,959 Who's there? 110 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,959 I don't get who you're playing today. 111 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,959 A working mum, struggling to keep her work-life balance in check? 112 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,959 - Yes. - For literally one day? 113 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,159 One whole day. 114 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,959 OK, I was just wondering because my mum was a single mum, 115 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,959 and she raised me for more than one day, and it was hard. 116 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:07,959 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 117 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,959 - It was really hard. - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. I know. 118 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,959 All mums have their journeys, Stan. 119 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,799 But don't worry, I'm pretty zen. 120 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,959 Yeah, I'm not really worried about 121 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,959 how you'll get on for literally one day. 122 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,959 I appreciate your concern, Stan. 123 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,799 Christie was exactly the same. 124 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,999 She was like, "Joy," and I was like, "I know." 125 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,959 You know what she's like. But I don't know. 126 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,959 Olivia's so chill when she's around me. 127 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,959 - Now you're chill. - I think she just gets my chill 128 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,960 transmitted to her or whatever. - OK. 129 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,159 Still asleep. 130 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,479 Do you know that some babies 131 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,959 start singing before they start talking? 132 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,959 - Really? - Yeah, I know this. 133 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,960 I read it on the Internet. 134 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,959 I'm here instead of Trish, and this is baby Olivia. 135 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,159 No problem at all. You just sign in there, thank you. 136 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,959 And we'll give Olivia a sticker. 137 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,959 - Stickers! - There you go. 138 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,959 - So cute. - Uh-huh. 139 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,959 Do you know, if you learn the tambourine early, 140 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,960 you'll be good at science and biz work. 141 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,960 Tambourine time. 142 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,640 BABIES CRYING 143 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,959 Welcome, everybody. 144 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:32,479 Excuse me, you can't film in this space. 145 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,959 OK, cool. 146 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,959 We're about to begin, if you'd just like to take a seat. 147 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,959 - I don't have a baby. - Take a seat. 148 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:39,959 - But I don't... - Take a seat. 149 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,960 Yeah. 150 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,640 BABIES CRYING 151 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,959 Oh, Seana's a right bruiser, isn't she? 152 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,959 Very large head. 153 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,960 I'm sure that was sore enough for you. 154 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,959 Emily's lovely and hairy, isn't she? 155 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,959 Well, I guess that makes sense cos so are you. 156 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:06,639 I mean you've both got lovely hair on your head. 157 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,959 This little one has got a bald patch at the back 158 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:09,959 from rubbing her head so much, 159 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,959 but it'll grow back. We can always throw in a few extensions. 160 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:14,959 She's the image of you. 161 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,959 Oh, no, that's not possible because, 162 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,959 er, I've got longer hair than she does, 163 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:25,959 and her nose is squashier. 164 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,959 But they all look the same at this age, anyway, don't they? 165 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,319 Hope I don't take the wrong one home with me today. 166 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,639 LAUGHS 167 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,959 But, yeah, I guess she does look like me, because after all, 168 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,959 I did push her right out of me. Human Aidan! 169 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,959 Hey, Joy. 170 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,960 BABIES CRYING 171 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:51,960 You have a baby. 172 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,959 - So do you. - I do. 173 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,159 - Isn't it something? - Isn't it? 174 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,959 Is this your first time? 175 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,479 First time, yeah. Tambourine time. Yay! 176 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,959 - Yeah, it's lots of fun! - Isn't it fun?! 177 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,959 - Isn't it just the most fun ever?! - Yeah! 178 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,959 OK, everyone, let's pick up our tambourines and shake. 179 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,959 Let's try to connect with each other 180 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,959 and our babies through the music. 181 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,959 It can be lonely out there as a solo artist. 182 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,959 And shake 'em. 183 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,960 BABIES CRYING 184 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,960 Yay, baby! 185 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,159 - Five, four... - Five, four... 186 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,959 My wee's on there. 187 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,639 Two... 188 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:40,960 - One. - One. 189 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,639 RELIEVED SIGH It's a no! 190 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,959 SHE LAUGHS It's a no! 191 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,959 EXHALES SLOWLY It's no. 192 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,959 Yeah, yeah, I heard you first time. 193 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,479 It's no. 194 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,640 BABIES CRYING 195 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,960 Joy? Joy. 196 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,479 I can't actually believe I'm seeing you, and you've got a baby. 197 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,959 Congratulations. - Yes, exactly. 198 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,959 I mean, she's gorgeous. How old is she? 199 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,479 Oh, she's a year or whatever, give or take. 200 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,319 A-A... 201 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:29,959 Oh, she's a year minus seven months, carry the one, 202 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,959 add all the days, minus all the days. 203 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,799 You know the way you work it out like that. So she's three months. 204 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,959 But I'm not a slave to the calendar, Aidan, that's not my jam. 205 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:42,959 God, wow, well, I mean, she's big for three months. 206 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,959 Well, I'm not into body-shaming babies, Aidan. 207 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,799 No, it's just she's gotten like all of her teeth. 208 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,799 She's very advanced. What's your point, caller? 209 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:50,959 ♪ Uhh! ♪ SHE CHUCKLES 210 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:51,959 Anyway, enough about us. Yours is nice. 211 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,959 Yeah. Yeah, she's amazing. We're thrilled. 212 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,959 We? 213 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,159 Yeah, so I needed, like, another party to... 214 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,159 Oh, I know all about that. 215 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,960 Yeah, me and Sarah. 216 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:06,959 Told you. 217 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:10,319 I told you you guys should be together. Told you! 218 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,959 Sickened, sickened, Aidan. Sickened! 219 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,959 Actually it wasn't long after... 220 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,959 I don't need to know. I know how babies are made. 221 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,479 Whoo! - Yeah. 222 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:21,999 Sure, didn't I make one myself with... 223 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,960 - With? - With... 224 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:29,479 ...this really, really, really, really, 225 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:35,959 oh, really beautiful Australian yoga stunner with tiny pores. 226 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,800 So I'm not exactly sweating it here, mister. 227 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:41,999 And he's an Aries. 228 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,959 He's an Aries? An Aries?! 229 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,960 Wow! - Yeah. 230 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:49,960 I know. 231 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,959 I have to go. We have to go. Don't we, Olivia? Don't we, Stan? 232 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,960 Don't we, everyone? Yes, we do, that's right. Goodbye, Aidan. 233 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,639 Oh, Joy. 234 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,959 Joy? It's... 235 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,959 Ooh! Cooee! 236 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,959 Oh. 237 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,959 Keep meaning to set up Deliveroo for this one. 238 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,639 Yeah. 239 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,959 So, look, I mean, I haven't seen you in a year. 240 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,959 Do you want to go and get a cup of tea or something? 241 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,960 Aw, I'd love to, but I really don't want to, so I can't. 242 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,959 I mean, I don't drink tea any more after 11am. 243 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,959 I'm so sorry. 244 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,959 That's cool. 245 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,959 I mean, we can go get a glass of milk or a Pepsi. 246 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,959 Yeah, I just... thank you, but I... I'm really busy. 247 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,959 I have a lot of things to do this afternoon. 248 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:46,159 - Cool. What are you doing? - Will. 249 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,959 I'm going to do him. 250 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,479 Will's my baby daddy. That's his name. 251 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:55,000 And I have plans to meet him and do him. 252 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,159 OK. Well, that's impressive, 253 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,959 seeing as your baby's only three months old 254 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,639 and has this massive head. 255 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,959 So, good on you. 256 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,959 Well, I snapped right back. 257 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,959 CLICKS TONGUE 258 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:16,959 So which way are you and Mr Aries Guy headed? 259 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,319 Yeah, going to meet him, 260 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:23,639 I guess, all around here, and then we're gonna... here. 261 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,000 Do you want to go back inside and maybe have a cup of not tea? 262 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:28,960 While waiting? 263 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,959 Stan, I'd better go and help this guy out. 264 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,960 Nice buggy, by the way. 265 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,639 Suits you, the buggy. - Thanks. 266 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,159 So is Sarah quite large now? 267 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,320 No, no, not at all. 268 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,319 Oh. SHE SNORTS 269 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,639 Hey, how about I just threw everything 270 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,959 off course here for a second 271 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,959 and told you I was falling in love with you. 272 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,959 Stay positive and keep it real. 273 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,959 Remember, it's all chill with Will. 274 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:15,960 Stay there! 275 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,959 For some crazy reason, that guy over there 276 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,959 thinks that I'm the baby's mum and you're the dad. Bonkers! 277 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,959 Some people are so weird. - Get fucked. 278 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,959 And do you know what else is just really chill 279 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,959 and not bonkers at all? You playing along with it 280 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,959 and me explaining it all to you later. 281 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,959 Does that sound namaste? Is that chill with Will? 282 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:37,959 You can't pretend to be the mother 283 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,959 of someone else's child, Joy, that's too much. 284 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,959 Please, I just need to get through the next half an hour, Will. 285 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,959 Please, please. - This is gonna screw with my karma. 286 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,959 - Please, Will. - It's insane. 287 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,479 - Labels, Will, please. - No. 288 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,639 - Please. - No. 289 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,959 You're not some kind of rabid dingo that can just run off with a kid. 290 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,159 Exactly. I'm not running off with her forever. 291 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,959 That's what makes me a good dingo. 292 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,959 I bring the baby back. - You're not a dingo, Joy. 293 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:01,959 Please. Please, Will. 294 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,159 - No. No. - Please. Please. 295 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,959 Please, Will, please. Let's be dingoes together. 296 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,959 Please, Will, please. Please, please, please, please. 297 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:13,960 - How many times can I say no? - Oh, brilliant! OK. 298 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,959 - This is human Aidan. - How is my little furry friend? 299 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,960 Well, mate, I'm not gonna lie, that's kind of harsh. 300 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,159 Oh, no. He's talking... You're talking about Canine Aidan, the dog. 301 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,159 Yeah, no, he's good. 302 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,959 I think he's completely over you, which is great. 303 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,959 - Oh, OK. - Who's this bundle of fun here? 304 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,960 Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha! Such a funny fucker. 305 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,959 Keeps it so fresh when he does that. You little gag monster. 306 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,959 Well, congratulations. 307 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,959 Ah, thanks, mate. 308 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,959 Yeah, I guess 300K subscribers is quite a lot. 309 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,999 CHUCKLES, CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY 310 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,959 No. Phew. For once, not my baby. 311 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,960 Ha-ha-ha. 312 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,319 Will? 313 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,959 Don't look at me. I haven't had an accident. 314 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:09,959 I haven't done that in years. 315 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,959 No, yeah, Will, will you change the baby? 316 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,960 That's not part of the deal. 317 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:19,999 Play the daddy. 318 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,960 PHONE RINGS 319 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,960 BABY CRYING 320 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,959 Oh, got to go. OK, honey. 321 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,959 Be the daddy, be the daddy. 322 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:38,959 You... one... CRYING CONTINUES 323 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,959 OMINOUS CHOIR MUSIC PLAYS 324 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,959 'Hi, Joy.' - Hi! 325 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,159 'Just checking in. Hope everything's OK with Olivia.' 326 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:49,959 Yeah. Olivia's in safe hands. She's in the safest hands. 327 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,960 Uh, OK, bye. 328 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,959 INHALES SHARPLY Ohh! 329 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,959 Honey. Honey face. 330 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,959 Could you go and change our baby's bum? 331 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,639 Oh, gross. No way. No. 332 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,959 He's like a stand-up comedian, isn't he? 333 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,959 Ha-ha. - Can you take the baby? 334 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:14,479 Oh. Sure. Ha-ha-ha-ha. He's my rock. 335 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,959 He makes me feel like me but better. 336 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,959 Yeah, he's great. 337 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,959 Do you know what, Aidan, I actually really needed a wee anyway, so. 338 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,959 - Perfect. - I'll get it. I'll change her. 339 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,959 Will, I'll... I'll take her. You relax. 340 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,319 He's wrecked. - Poor guy. 341 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,959 GROANS In we pop. 342 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,799 - Do you want a hand? - No, no, I've got it. 343 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,959 I'm literally doing this all day and all night. 344 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,959 - Its arm. - No, no, she's grand. 345 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,959 Her arm goes that way. - But that one, that arm. 346 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,959 They're all individuals, Aidan. They all do their own thing. 347 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,959 Gas, aren't they? You're like a supermom. 348 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,319 Yeah, I am. Thank you. 349 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,639 - Oh, that's stuck there. - Yeah, no, it's good. 350 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,319 It's a new buggy that you're better off doing it this way with it. 351 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,959 - Oh, yeah? - It's just... 352 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,959 it's new technology with it. - Just move that table, maybe. 353 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,959 - That's good. I got it. - Yeah, I'm doing it anyway. Fine. 354 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,959 Yeah, I have it. CHAIR SCRAPING 355 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,960 - Got it. - Off you pop. 356 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,959 I have that now, yeah. I have that now. 357 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,320 - See you later, supermom! - Thank you. 358 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:16,959 OK. Shh, shh, shh. 359 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,999 Hello, hello, hello, hello. Dor-dor-dor-dor. 360 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,959 Oh, this is conven... Absolutely perfect. 361 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:28,959 Yes, and ducks and geese... ♪ And all the different things 362 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,799 ♪ We have to do with the nappies. ♪ 363 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,959 You're being rude. 364 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,959 OK. There. There. We just... 365 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,959 Ohh, we're going. Ah! 366 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,799 Shh, shh, shh. Oh, my God, you stink! 367 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,799 Oh! Oh, good God. OLIVIA CRIES 368 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,959 OK, we'll... OK, hang on. 369 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,479 ♪ Ducks and clothes... ♪ 370 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:54,959 ♪ To you. ♪ 371 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,959 ♪ Oranges 372 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,479 ♪ We'll go... ♪ 373 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,159 GAGS Oh, my God. 374 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,959 What is Trish feeding you? 375 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,319 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 376 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,799 CRYING CONTINUES Ugh! 377 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,959 And I think that they self-stick. 378 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:11,959 Oh! 379 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,999 Oh, God. I hear you. 380 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,959 I hear you, I hear you. Shh. 381 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,959 Shh. CRYING CONTINUES 382 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:23,960 Oh, God. 383 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,960 ♪ Everything nice. ♪ 384 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,960 You're kidding me. CRYING CONTINUES 385 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,959 Now... 386 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,959 Sorry that took so long. The flap kept collapsing. 387 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,999 Oh, the doctors say that's extremely common after a natural birth. 388 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,959 Oh, listen, Joy, I'm just gonna come straight out and say it. 389 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,960 It's just so weird the way your baby looks like Trish. 390 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,159 Oh, my God. 391 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,959 Oh, my God. 392 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,639 I'm so sorry, Aidan. 393 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,319 I just thought it would be fun to say that she was mine 394 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,159 because I didn't know anybody in the class, 395 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,959 and then all of a sudden you were there. 396 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,480 And you were there. 397 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,959 And I... 398 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,959 It's OK, Joy. I mean, it makes sense. 399 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,959 You're just... 400 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,960 You're not a baby person. 401 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,160 Well, maybe I wasn't a baby person with you. 402 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:29,959 Maybe. 403 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,959 Catch you guys later. 404 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:32,960 Yeah, maybe. 405 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,959 Idea. 406 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,999 Why don't we ditch this baby idiot, 407 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,959 go and make out on O'Connell, Grafton 408 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,959 and other cool Irish things like that? 409 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,959 Will, I'm not ditching the baby. 410 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:53,959 OK. Well, you know what? I'm out of here. 411 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,959 It's been fun, Joy, it has, but I've got some major Irish landmarks 412 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,959 to go and take selfies at for the fans. 413 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,959 And babies, you know, they're not part of the brand. 414 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,959 Make every second count. That's what I say. 415 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,959 Oh, and that baby? So negative. 416 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,959 See you later, guys. Oh, and don't forget to subscribe. 417 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,959 - Yeah, I won't. - Hey, what's up everyone? 418 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,959 So I'm about to go see some statues. 419 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,959 Apparently all the statues in Ireland move. 420 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,319 He's so funny. 421 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,960 - He seems really nice. - He is. 422 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,960 Aidan, I'm really glad things worked out for you. 423 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,960 It's good to see you, Joy. 424 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,160 It's good to see you. 425 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,960 Hey. Gotcha. 426 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:54,960 JOY CHUCKLES 427 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:03,960 There's a knack to them, defo. 428 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,960 Easy peasy does it. 429 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,000 - This is nice. - Mm. 430 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:21,639 I've never had a bath with a... a girlfriend before. 431 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,959 HE CHUCKLES No, yeah, defo. 432 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,960 Me neither. 433 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,959 OLIVIA COOS 434 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,959 DOOR OPENS, JOY SNORTS 435 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:35,959 I'm here, I'm here! 436 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,479 JOY SNORTS Oh, fuck. 437 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:38,959 How did Olivia get outside? 438 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,959 Trish, hey, how did it go today? 439 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,799 Joy, the key was in the door. 440 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,959 How long has it been there? Three, four, five hours? 441 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:47,960 I don't know. 442 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,960 You are amazing. 443 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:54,999 How do you do it? I don't know how you do it. 444 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,959 I don't think I am doing it. 445 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,960 Girl, you are doing it. 446 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,999 Did you find out that babies aren't actually that relaxing after all? 447 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:08,959 Trish, I don't care what anyone says, parenthood is hard! 448 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,959 Literally everyone says that, Joy. 449 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,479 - Do they? - Yeah. 450 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:13,960 They're right. 451 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,960 Thank you for today, Joy. Thank you for trying. 452 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:30,960 Mm. 453 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,960 I'm so tired. 454 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:48,959 Night-night, Canine Aidan. 455 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,959 'I know you met him today, 456 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,959 'but I'm OK because I know you're OK.' 457 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,480 You know, Canine Aidan... 458 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,959 ...maybe I could be a baby person. 459 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,959 'I'm your baby, Joy, you lunatic!' 460 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,159 UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS 461 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,960 DOG BARKING 462 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,799 DOGS HOWLING 463 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,960 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com 34054

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