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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,959 BIRDS CHIRPING 2 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:18,959 'Yes! Lovely sunny day, nice start. 3 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,959 'OK, I got very little sleep last night 4 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,639 'because, well, I nearly died 5 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,959 'and then he showed up and I nearly died. 6 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,639 'Then, of course, after the crazy, intense moment it all kicked off 7 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:29,999 'into all sorts of...' CANINE AIDAN WHISTLES 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,799 'On that, is doggy style a general thing, or is that... 9 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,959 'Anyway, it's not that I was looking. 10 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,959 'Mother of St Francis of Assisi, no!' 11 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,959 ♪ Get up, get dressed And get happy ♪ 12 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,959 No kebabs! 13 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:46,960 SHE GRUNTS 14 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,959 'Morning! Ha-ha!' 15 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,959 'OMG! Tell me if it's too soon, but is there any chance 16 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:54,999 'we could all just go for brunch together? 17 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,959 'I've missed crushed avocado toast. 18 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:58,960 'OK. 19 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,479 'Yay, sports brassiere!' 20 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:06,959 'Er... 21 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,959 'Nothing, nobody? Where is he?! 22 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,959 'What do you have to do around here to get a happy ending?' 23 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,959 Canine Aidan, come back. 24 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:15,959 CLICKING 25 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,480 Aidan? 26 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:25,960 PHONE CHIMES 27 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,959 God... 28 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,959 PHONE CHIMES 29 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,000 SIGHS 30 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,959 UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS 31 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,960 DOG BARKING 32 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:08,960 DOORBELL RINGS 33 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,960 Aidan? 34 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,959 Oh, my God. Aidan, I'm coming. 35 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:18,960 I'm coming, Aidan! 36 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,159 - So, he's back, then? - Huh? 37 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,959 I can go around all the other houses 38 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:27,999 and come back and leave you 39 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,319 if you want to finish your business. 40 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,960 No, erm, he's not here. 41 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,319 So what have you got for me, big boy? 42 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,959 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I, er... I'm a bit on edge. 43 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:48,159 I had this really, really weird night last night. 44 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,959 Is Amelia there? 45 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:50,959 No. 46 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,959 She's gone, too. She's been really brave. 47 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,799 She's gone to a beach resort in Bali to find herself. 48 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,959 I liked her. 49 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,959 Anyway, weird one, I need to collect something from you. 50 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,959 Your Abrakebraba gold card? They want it back. 51 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,959 Something to do with bringing kebabs into disrepute. 52 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,960 Something you did on the Internets? 53 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,960 They're rescinding my Abrakebraba gold card? 54 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,960 I did not have you down for one of them Internet diddler ladies. 55 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,959 I just want to see you happy, that's all. 56 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,959 This is just who I am, Aidan. 57 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,160 I don't know how to do it any other way. 58 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:53,960 KNOCK ON DOOR 59 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,959 Hi. We need more steam pipes in our general area 60 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,959 so the local residents' association 61 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,960 are having a meeting on Tuesday and would like you... 62 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,959 KNOCK ON DOOR 63 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,960 I do not need more steam pipes in my general area! 64 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,959 - You and me both. Ha... - Trish! 65 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,319 Never having sex again, which is fine 66 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,319 because it feels as if my vagina might fall off anyway. 67 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,479 So, I guess that takes care of that. 68 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,959 Trish, I'm so sorry. 69 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,959 There I was making it all about me 70 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,959 but I just wanted to share with you that I was opening up. 71 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,959 And I wanted to share with you that I am also opening up! 72 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,959 - Come here, come here! - Do not touch me. 73 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,959 I'm having a bloody baby! I'm crowning. 74 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,159 Oh, Jesus, Trish, I've always been a little bit uncomfortable 75 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,959 with that word. - Shut up! 76 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,959 Your phone was off and Tom is away again 77 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:46,959 and I think I'm actually in labour 78 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,959 and I feel like I'm dying and I'm terrified 79 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,959 and I can't stop shouting! 80 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,959 OK, OK. You listen to me, right. 81 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,959 It's too early. It's not due till next week. 82 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,959 It's a few days early so this isn't happening. 83 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,959 It's absolutely fine to scootch it back in. 84 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,959 Tell that to the baby! 85 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,960 Scootch up, scootch in! Scootch up! 86 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,959 Stop fucking talking, start doing something now. 87 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,959 Help me! - I'm gonna help. 88 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,479 TRISH MOANS I'm gonna help. 89 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:12,959 Trish, stand back. I'm gonna help. 90 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,999 Hang on a second. Excuse me! 91 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,999 Oh, my God, excuse me. 92 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,959 Excuse me! 93 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,959 Get out! 94 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,959 Get out, get out, get out! 95 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,319 My friend is having a baby. 96 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,959 I need to drive her to the hospital. Get out! 97 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,959 TRISH GROANS 98 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:30,999 Will I not just drive her? 99 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,959 Yes! Yes! 100 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:34,959 TRISH BREATHING HEAVILY 101 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,999 OK, just, uh, keep breathing. 102 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,959 I am breathing, which is ridiculous 103 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,959 because when am I never not breathing?! 104 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,799 Yes, that is a fair point. You are always breathing. 105 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:46,959 What are your contraction times now? 106 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,959 My contractions are like every two euro. 107 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:51,959 What does that mean? 108 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,959 What did they say in the baby class? 109 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,959 I suddenly can't remember anything. 110 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,959 What they said was that you, erm... 111 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,799 They said to just... 112 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,000 - What? - Erm... 113 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,959 Keep breathing. TRISH MOANS 114 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,959 Keep breathing. 115 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,960 Distract me, distract me. 116 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,479 Everybody singing. 117 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:17,159 ♪ Sinne Fianna Fail 118 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:22,959 ♪ Ata faoi gheall ag Eireann. ♪ 119 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,800 SINGING IN GAELIC 120 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:30,959 RINGTONE PLAYING 121 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,959 Oh, God. 122 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:33,959 Erm... PHONE BEEPS 123 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,959 - Charlene? - Cringe! 124 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,959 I know you probably feel like a laughing stock right now 125 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,959 and that would be a fair call but it will pass, I think, 126 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,959 and we need to get you back on that horse 127 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,959 and that's not a euphemism for what you did to that yoga instructor. 128 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,959 OK, because look, Joy 129 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,959 I know you feel like emigrating right now 130 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,639 but you must stay and come to the News Awards instead. 131 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,959 Let's go. -'Tonight.' 132 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,959 Look, I can't. I can't, Charlene. 133 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,959 Flora is going to want this to go tits up, OK? 134 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,799 But we're going to keep our tits down. 135 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,959 'Do you hear me? Head up, tits down.' 136 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,999 Head up, tits down. I have to go. 137 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,639 What are you talking about? 138 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:10,959 Head up, tits down. 139 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,959 Head up, tits down, go! 140 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,959 Is this supposed to help? 141 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,959 Excuse me, miss? 142 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,799 Sorry, I can't do any autographs right now. 143 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,959 My friend is having a baby. 144 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,959 No, your friend needs to fill out the patient registration form. 145 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,959 Oh, yes. 146 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,959 - You can take it up to the ward. - Thank you. 147 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,959 - OK, name? - Trish. 148 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,159 Trish. OK. 149 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,959 Name. Sex. You've had some of that! 150 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,959 You're doing so great, Trish. 151 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,959 When do we think that Tom might be here? 152 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,799 Oh, that prick! 153 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:40,959 He calls me last night to tell me 154 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,959 that he's having the greatest steak bearnaise of his life 155 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:44,999 at his work event. 156 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,959 Oh, distraction. Distract me. 157 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,320 What did you have last night? 158 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:54,999 Nothing. 159 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,960 TRISH QUIVERS 160 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,959 Tin of Lilt? Tin of Lilt. 161 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,959 Oh, my God. Oh, yeah! 162 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,959 Ohh! 163 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,959 - That's so beautiful. - Oh, yes. 164 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:08,999 Oh, I needed that. 165 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,639 TRISH MOANS 166 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,959 - How are you doing? - Honestly, you can go back to work. 167 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:14,959 It's totally fine. 168 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,799 No, I'm not going to leave you. 169 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,959 Seriously, I'll just pour bearnaise sauce 170 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,959 over the placenta and make Tom eat it. 171 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:26,959 Oh, distract me. Oh, my God1 - Ow! Erm... 172 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,959 Scott Disick set his beard on fire live on the Internet. 173 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,959 - Did he really? - He did, yeah. 174 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,159 Ohh! 175 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,959 I also set myself on fire on the Internet. 176 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,959 I mean, it's a metaphor but I might need to leave the country now. 177 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,999 Oh, my God. 178 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,959 I saw that. 179 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,959 BABY CRYING, JOY GROANS 180 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,959 The Mojo Awards are on tonight, and I don't want to go. 181 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,959 I just want to... Aah! Ow! 182 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,959 Jesus, you're so strong. 183 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,640 No, you should go. 184 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,959 What will you wear? 185 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,959 Aidan also called over last night 186 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,159 and I slept with him, I... I think. 187 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,959 Please, you're in a labour ward! 188 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,959 - Sorry. -You think?! 189 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:03,960 You think? 190 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,959 Did you sleep with him or not? - Yes, I di... I did. 191 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:08,959 I... Yes. 192 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,960 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 193 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:15,960 OK. 194 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,959 Well, I have a vox pop question for you 195 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,479 and you have to answer me honestly. 196 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,319 The bare honest truth, Joy. 197 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,480 OK. 198 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,960 Do you still love him? 199 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,959 DOOR OPENS 200 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,959 Oh, Trish. 201 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:40,960 TRISH GROANS 202 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,959 - I'm sorry. - I know. 203 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,640 Excuse me. Thanks very much. 204 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,959 It's time we got you down to the delivery room. 205 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:55,959 Be back in a second. 206 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,160 OK, you've got this, yeah? You and Tom. 207 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,959 Head up, tits down. 208 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,960 Go to the awards, face them. 209 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:10,960 I love you. 210 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,959 I know we're always looking for more answers, you know, 211 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,959 but maybe the best answer is just... 212 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,959 the simplest thing we could do. 213 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:23,960 Be. 214 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,960 Just breathe. 215 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:33,799 When I say tits down, I mean tits up, my friend. 216 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,959 Strap those babies up as high as medically possible 217 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,960 and face the world. 218 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,960 Hey, Joy? 219 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:53,960 I love you, too. 220 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:05,960 EXHALES DEEPLY 221 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,960 RINGTONE PLAYING 222 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,959 PHONE BEEPS Hi, Mum. 223 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,959 'Darling, don't you look lovely?' 224 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:29,479 Hey, Mum, did you see that clip on the Internet? 225 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,639 'I did, love. Your Auntie Nora sent it to me. 226 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,959 'And I didn't show it to anyone else so you don't have to worry.' 227 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,959 Oh, well, that's a relief. 228 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:37,959 'I saw it, too.' 229 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:38,959 Jesus. 230 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,479 Mum, what are you doing later? 231 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,959 Is there a chance that you'd come with me to this... 232 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,959 'I'm going over to Auntie Nora to read RIP.ie. 233 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,959 'What are your plans?' 234 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,959 Just facing the world while my soul is dying. 235 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,960 - 'You enjoy that, love!' - Hey, Mum? 236 00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,959 Can I come over for dinner tomorrow night? 237 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,959 'Oh, sweetheart, we'd love that. 238 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,959 'I'll make shepherd's pie... with milk mash.' 239 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,959 Plain old shepherd's pie is fine. 240 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,960 'We're having a bit of mash definitely.' 241 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:13,959 Bye. PHONE BEEPS 242 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:14,960 PHONE CHIMES 243 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:18,960 Jesus. 244 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,960 SHE GROANS 245 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,960 FOOTSTEPS APPROACH 246 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,959 Canine Aidan? 247 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,159 Close, a little less hairy. 248 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,959 Well, some of the time but close. 249 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:32,959 Amelia! 250 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,639 I only got as far as Holyhead. 251 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,159 FYI, your clip has reached Wales. 252 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,999 - Oh, God. - I knew my pal needed me. 253 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,959 I thought, "Well, if I want to do some growing up on a beach 254 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,479 "I could always go to Brittas Bay for an afternoon layered in wool." 255 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,960 I mean, that is if you'll have me back. 256 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,959 Buh-buh-buh. 257 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,960 JOY LAUGHS Of course. 258 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,959 Oh, I was so sad. 259 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,320 I know. Mm. 260 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,959 Amelia, will you do me a favour? 261 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:01,959 Yes. 262 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,479 Will you come to these flipping awards with me 263 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,959 as my human shield and general emotional-support animal? 264 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,959 Because I kind of slept with Aidan last night. 265 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,639 Oh, God! 266 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,959 After I told the rest of the world that I wanted to have his baby, 267 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,959 so I'm sort of also dealing with all of that. 268 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,959 Jesus, I was only gone for five seconds! 269 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,639 Did you even manage to put the bins out? 270 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,959 - No. - Oh, lads! 271 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,959 Right, well, I suppose I'm touched that you've asked me 272 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,960 to be your human-shield support animal. 273 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:29,959 AMELIA GROWLS 274 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,959 Right. 275 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,959 SIGHS No. 276 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:34,959 Well, that's awful. 277 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,639 That's just a string, isn't it? 278 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,959 Come on. 279 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:38,959 Too... Everything's flouncy. 280 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,959 OK, I'm going to need two things. 281 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,160 Vodka and some masking tape. 282 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:54,959 Oh, see, see, we can be immature and grown-up at the same time. 283 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,959 It's not all about changing to make yourself better. 284 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:58,959 It's about accepting yourself, 285 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,959 but that that may also involve some change. 286 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:02,959 - Exactly. - Mm-hm. 287 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,639 - Oh, God. - Ah. 288 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:05,959 Right, finish that. 289 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,960 Chug it, neck it. 290 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,959 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING OK. Just be cool. 291 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,960 It's Amelia and Joy. 292 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,959 Congratulations, Rachel O'Flanagan 293 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,959 for her special report on vegan toddlers. 294 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,960 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 295 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:30,999 Everybody is looking at me. 296 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,959 They're looking at your knockers, 297 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,959 wondering how they stay elevated without any bra on. 298 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,959 Congrats, you're the David Blaine of boobs. 299 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,639 Hiya. - I can't. 300 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,959 You can't believe they're being held up with masking tape. 301 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,159 Actually, be genuinely careful later on when you whip it off 302 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:46,959 because you could lose a nipple. 303 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:47,959 OK. 304 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,639 ...Joe and Jim Lonergan for The Truth About Turnips. 305 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,960 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Drink this. 306 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,959 Whoo! 307 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,960 Ohh-ohh-ohh! Ohh! 308 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,960 Where is everybody else? 309 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:20,960 Hi. 310 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,480 What are you doing? Stop it! No! 311 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,000 I need cider. 312 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,959 Can I get two pints of cider and shots? 313 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,960 Of cider? - Sure. 314 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,999 I'm in business myself. 315 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,959 Sounds very interesting. 316 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:42,959 Yeah, yeah, it is, yeah. 317 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,480 AMELIA VIBRATE SLIPS 318 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,960 Joy, you look great. 319 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:49,959 Thank you. 320 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,959 It's just masking tape, polyester and deep shame. 321 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:53,959 Well, it suits you. 322 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,159 And I'm sorry you're not on the other table. 323 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,959 We just didn't think you'd dare come. 324 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,320 So, well done for coming. - Thank you. 325 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,999 Oh! THEY CHUCKLE 326 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,959 - Shots? - Yes. 327 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,800 GLASSES CLINK 328 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,959 I just want to say that I think you're really brave, 329 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,959 not in the same way as a firefighter 330 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,799 or a first responder, but... 331 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,959 But you didn't want to throw yourself in like that 332 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,639 and yet you did and you were honest. 333 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,960 It's really inspired me to go and find my own happy. 334 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,959 I'm gonna go for it. 335 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,959 - Go... -OK. 336 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:31,959 ...for it. 337 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,999 OK, you glorious humans, here's a biggie. 338 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,959 Now, I've been a fan of this gal from afar for a long time, 339 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:43,959 so I have to say it gives me disgraceful amounts of pleasure 340 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:48,479 to say that the winner for the best lifestyle feature is... 341 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,959 Hey, isn't this our... 342 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,959 ...The Happy Hunter. 343 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:54,959 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 344 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,799 Yes! 345 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,959 Good for you, Joy. 346 00:16:58,960 --> 00:16:59,960 Good for us. 347 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,960 Thanks, Charlene. 348 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,960 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE 349 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,959 Joy, hey, I'm sorry. 350 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,959 I didn't know they were going to use that stuff. 351 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,799 They took my camera. 352 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,959 It's fine, Stan. I know. 353 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,960 Look, thanks for all your help. 354 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:52,959 Where are you going? 355 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,999 Oh, I just need to go and check on a friend. 356 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,799 It's really bad reception in here. 357 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,479 Maybe... Maybe we could dance later. 358 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,959 Yeah, that would be nice. 359 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:02,959 Yeah? 360 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,159 Absolutely. 361 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,959 Yeah, cool. Absolutely. 362 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,960 - Cool. - Cool, yeah, cool. 363 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:10,959 - Ah! - Have to hand it to you, Joy, 364 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,639 didn't think you'd be able to pull any of that off. 365 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,959 The pieces, the exposure the recovery, that dress. 366 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,160 But I know when I need to say I'm wrong. 367 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,959 Listen, er, Flora's going to be back next week, 368 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,959 which isn't brilliant news for you, but we're very grateful 369 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,960 and we hope that you got something out of it. 370 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,959 To be honest, I think I did. 371 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,959 So, thank you. 372 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,959 - Any time. - Well, no, no more times. 373 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:48,959 Yeah. 374 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,959 But the really great news is, 375 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,959 everybody's still using terrible grammar. 376 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,959 Hey! - Yay. 377 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,959 You're going to be back at your desk on Monday morning. 378 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,960 OK, thanks. 379 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,000 MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC PLAYING 380 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:06,999 LOCK CLICKS 381 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,640 'You have no messages.' 382 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:23,960 CLATTER 383 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,959 KNOCKING 384 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,319 Hello? 385 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,959 KNOCKING Hello? 386 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,959 Could you pass me through some toilet paper, please? 387 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,479 Oh, uh, yeah, sure. 388 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,639 TOILET PAPER RUSTLES 389 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,800 Thanks. 390 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,959 Is that you, Joy? 391 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,639 Flora? 392 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,799 Yeah. 393 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:50,959 Listen, I just wanted to say, 394 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,000 I honestly think you did a great job. 395 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,960 I'm sorry if I was a bit, you know? 396 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,960 I was just a bit intimidated, I guess. 397 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,959 You're funny, Joy. You know that? 398 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,959 You don't try too hard and you cheered me up 399 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,959 when I wasn't really in much of a happy place myself. 400 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,320 TOILET FLUSHES 401 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,960 So... 402 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,480 ...thank you. 403 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,959 THUD, WATER RUNNING 404 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,959 God, what a relief. 405 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,320 Those vol-au-vents really go right through you. 406 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,960 UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING 407 00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,959 Listen, chicken. 408 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,959 Big fans. We're from News Everyday. 409 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,959 And we are loving the shit out of you. 410 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:04,960 Here, take this. 411 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,959 - Your SuperValu clubcard? - No. 412 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:09,959 Our business card. 413 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,999 We would like to talk to you about maybe coming over to us 414 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,799 with Finding Joy. 415 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,799 Well, thank you, but... 416 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,959 Think about it, OK? Call us. 417 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,000 Schmoozing. 418 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,959 Amelia, it's Joy. 419 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:43,959 Listen, I hope you have a great night, 420 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,959 but if there's a chance 421 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,479 you could come back at some stage tomorrow 422 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,959 because I'm trapped in black tie. 423 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:50,959 My zip is stuck. 424 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,999 The tape is melted on to me. I can't get out. 425 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,960 Have fun. 426 00:22:58,960 --> 00:22:59,960 PHONE CHIMES 427 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:06,960 CHUCKLES 428 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,160 CLICKING 429 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,960 CLICKING 430 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,959 CLICKING 431 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:37,960 SWOOSH 432 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,959 'It's been a roller coaster, 433 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,959 'but I think we're going to be fine with our new happy.' 434 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,639 I am all exhausted. 435 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,959 'I mean, who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? 436 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:00,959 'Soz for calling you an old dog 437 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,960 'but I mean it in the highest regard.' 438 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,959 CANINE AIDAN PANTING 439 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:07,960 'Night, Joy.' 440 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,640 RINGTONE PLAYING 441 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,959 UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS 442 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,960 DOG BARKING 443 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,319 DOGS HOWLING 444 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,480 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com 30708

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