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1
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BIRDS CHIRPING
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00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,959
'Another lovely sunny day.
3
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,959
'This is nice. Lovely start.
4
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,959
'Trish and a dandelion,
everything's going to be OK.
5
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,479
'Stop the lights.
6
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,959
'Her shoes. This is chaos.
7
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,959
'Oh, Jesus, she's going to
wake up horrified
8
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'that this blouse is just
flung over the chair like that.
9
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:31,999
'If only I could do a quick fold.
10
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,959
'It's times like these
I wish I had opposable thumbs.
11
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,159
'Oh, ge... Oh, there she is.
12
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,959
'Oh, Joy, I know there are
bigger things in life
13
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,159
'but please, those feet.
14
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,799
'Sandal season's coming.
Get your shit together.'
15
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,959
Aidan, it's your turn
to make toast.
16
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,959
'Aidan, he's back?!'
17
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,959
Butter to the edge, no crust.
18
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,959
'Super-intense tail movement.
Oh, my God!'
19
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,960
- Aidan.
- 'I need a wee. I'm weeing.
20
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,960
'What the absolute fuck?!'
21
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,480
My name's Phillip.
22
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:05,960
What's yours again?
23
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,959
'Oh, Phillip is a ridiculous name.'
24
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,959
Oh, get off. Oh.
25
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:14,959
- Ah.
- Oh. I'm so sorry.
26
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:15,999
He can be a bit...
27
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,159
I cut off his testicles, actually,
to see if it would help.
28
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,159
- You what?
- Not me, the vet did it.
29
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,960
Oh.
30
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,959
So, you're in marketing, you said.
31
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,959
Yes, yes indeed.
32
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:31,959
Six months now.
33
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:34,639
Oh, you enjoying it?
34
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:35,959
- Very much so.
- Oh.
35
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,320
Oh, hiya.
36
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:41,960
Erm...
37
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,959
Amelia, this is Phillip
38
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,799
and he came to fix
the thermostat on the immersion.
39
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,959
And tell us, Phillip,
did you just hammer away at it
40
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,960
or did it just need a little fiddle?
41
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,959
You know, it's funny, though,
it was working for me this morning.
42
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,960
I just ran a lovely hot bath.
43
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,159
Amelia. Oh!
44
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,000
Something else came for Aidan.
You signed for it.
45
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,159
Oh.
46
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,999
Who is Aidan?
47
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,960
CANINE AIDAN GROWLING
48
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,959
Phillip, you seem really lovely
49
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,319
but I don't think I'm ready
for a relationship right now.
50
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,960
Oh.
51
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,999
CANINE AIDAN GROWLING
52
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,959
- Lovely to meet you, Phillip.
- Yeah.
53
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:36,960
You have a good day.
54
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,959
Joy, oh, my God,
I'm so proud of you.
55
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:41,959
Hey, was it full pen?
56
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,959
It was, it was!
57
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,959
There is no shame
in that walk, sister.
58
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:46,959
You own it!
59
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,959
Full pen!
60
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,959
♪ Jean-Marie Le Pen! ♪
61
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,959
Come on, Ireland. Yes!
DOOR CLOSES
62
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UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS
63
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,160
DOG BARKING
64
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,959
- Good night last night?
- Excuse me?
65
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,960
- Tea bag?
- Sorry?
66
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,959
Please.
67
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:11,960
Thanks.
68
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,799
Hey, Joy.
- Hey.
69
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,959
You look different.
Did you do some...
70
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:19,959
Did I do someone?
71
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,960
- What?
- Sorry?
72
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:24,959
Are you going to have some tea?
73
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,320
Yeah.
74
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,959
Oh, do you know what I love?
75
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,959
Dunking it in a little bit,
taking it out
76
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,999
and then giving it
a really good suck.
77
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,800
Absolutely.
78
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,959
So what's everybody riding...
writ...
79
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,959
What's everybody writing today?
80
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,959
Antonia, what are you
writing about?
81
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,959
Bet you it's going to be
really great, so dynamic.
82
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,639
Psoriasis.
83
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,800
Should be good. Thanks, Greg.
84
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,159
Oh, hey, Charlene, do you know what
I'm gonna write about this week?
85
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,999
Dating. Dating to get over someone
or something.
86
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,999
Is it a good idea? Does it feel like
you're settling for second best,
87
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,959
or can it bring real happiness?
88
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,159
Joy, initiative.
89
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,959
You're growing from a wallflower
to an actual flower
90
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:16,959
with really good qualities.
91
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:17,959
That's brilliant.
92
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,159
Yeah, absolutely.
93
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,959
I think it can help,
for sure.
94
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,959
I think you almost have to do it
to move on.
95
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,959
It's like a territorial thing,
like pissing around the bed.
96
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,959
Not to be confused with some twat
97
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,959
who can't hold 12 pints of ale
actually pissing around the bed.
98
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,480
I would never do that to you.
99
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,959
I... I mean, I think it can't be
too soon, though.
100
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,959
You know, I mean, I know women
say they like a guy who can cry,
101
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,959
but I don't think they mean
the first time you get together.
102
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,319
You know, like,
when you're actually in there
103
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,959
for the first time.
104
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,959
Or whatever.
105
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:52,960
Absolutely.
106
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,959
Sometimes there's no
going back, though, you know.
107
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:57,959
So what are you going do,
108
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,960
choose to be on your own forever?
- Yes.
109
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,640
KEYBOARD CLACKING
110
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,960
Charlene, will you
go on a date with me?
111
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,960
Charlene, will you
go on a date with me?
112
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,159
GASPS
113
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,959
Will you go on a date with me?
114
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,959
That's weird.
I thought you were straight.
115
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,959
No, for the piece.
I don't want to go on my own.
116
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,959
I would be the person
who'd meet the serial killer
117
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,959
for Martini Mondays, huh?
118
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,959
Charlene, I really need to know.
119
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,999
Oh. I'm testing
the tester cream, Antonia.
120
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,959
I'll get back to you.
121
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,959
We could go
on a double date for work.
122
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,959
You can ask them if they've
got any... any flaky bits.
123
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,479
Well, that sounds sexy.
124
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,959
No, I'm going on a hot date
with a woman from my yoga class.
125
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,959
I'm hoping to combine
two great passions
126
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,480
cos I'm really stuck
for time these days, you know.
127
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,959
I'm trying to be
more time-efficient.
128
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,959
Go, now! Get out there
and start talking to people.
129
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,959
That part of things
is working really well.
130
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,959
Go and ask someone else
to go on this date with you.
131
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,159
We've been through this.
132
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,959
Now bring it in
with one of your best.
133
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,959
OK. Oh, it's just hard.
134
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,959
Oh.
135
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,319
BIRD SQUAWKING,
INDISTINCT CHAT
136
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,959
- Hi.
- Oh, Jesus!
137
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,319
I wonder, could we ask you
a few questions for a survey?
138
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:19,319
I know you.
You're the lady who does the pieces
139
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,959
about happiness and stuff.
140
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,959
Yeah, that's me.
WOMAN LAUGHS
141
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,959
They're really great.
142
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:25,959
I love how you do that thing
143
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,959
like you don't have a clue
what you're talking about.
144
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,959
It makes it really funny.
145
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:30,960
CHUCKLES
146
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,479
Yeah, OK.
147
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,960
So, you two.
- Oh, yeah.
148
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,960
Do you think you've settled?
149
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,959
Like, you know the older you get?
150
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,959
- Mm...
- Yeah.
151
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,959
Like, your first love is over
and you need to move on.
152
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,999
Did you guys
date anyone else before?
153
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,959
Oh, Barbara.
154
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:51,959
Sorry?
155
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,479
Barbara.
156
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,959
He went out with Barbara
for seven years.
157
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,959
She went out with Bernard
for three years.
158
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,999
Yeah, but I don't have "Bernard"
tattooed on my tit.
159
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,319
Neither do I...
just "Barbara" on me pec.
160
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,640
Don't tell her that.
161
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,799
That's so sweet. Thank you.
162
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,959
Thank you.
163
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,479
- What did you tell her that for?
- I didn't.
164
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:15,960
You started it.
165
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,959
Hi.
Could I ask you a question?
166
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,960
Are one-night stands a good idea?
167
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,959
Couldn't tell you.
168
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:24,960
I've no clue.
169
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,800
I've actually never had one.
It's true.
170
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:31,960
Sometimes I like.
171
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,960
Whoa.
172
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,960
Have a lovely day.
173
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,959
Thank you.
174
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,960
Excuse me. Could I ask you
a question about one-night stands?
175
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,320
Did I leave my socks at yours?
176
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:54,959
- Who's this?
- We're done.
177
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,959
What is this?
Who are you? What is this?
178
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,960
What's this?
179
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,959
What is this?
180
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,799
Will you?
What, a double date?
181
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:05,959
Like you and me
and the delivery guy
182
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,959
and the man who came
to fix the immersion
183
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,959
but who, in fact, boned you?
- Not them, new guys, fresh ones.
184
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,319
Wait, now. The man this morning
was he a work thing?
185
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,959
This is starting to sound
an awful lot like prostitution.
186
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,319
I'm getting very confused.
187
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,959
No, erm, this tonight
would be a work thing.
188
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,159
It'll be online dating.
Last night, that guy was...
189
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,959
That was just, like,
a super-casual, breezy thing.
190
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,959
You know, just one of those things.
191
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,959
So thanks so much
for meeting me again.
192
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,959
I just really wanted to apologise
for kicking you in the...
193
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,320
In the vag.
194
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:37,959
It's OK.
195
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,959
So, did your boyfriend...
did he... did he see any of it?
196
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,999
Would he have mentioned...
Did he see anything?
197
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,959
- Did he mention anything?
- Do you know,
198
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,959
I... I think
we're going to get married.
199
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,799
Oh, so sorry.
CUP CLATTERS
200
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:51,959
Sorry, what were you saying?
201
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,959
The other night, you know,
202
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:54,999
after we made love
for a couple of hours,
203
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,959
he said to me that he's never
really been able to open up
204
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,639
like he can with me.
205
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,959
I mean, like, before,
he just didn't get anything back
206
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,959
like nothing.
207
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,959
His ex-girlfriend
was an emotional stone.
208
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,959
An emotional stone.
209
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,959
EXHALES SHARPLY,
CRUNCHES
210
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,959
Joy, Joy!
211
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,960
Three shots of tequila.
212
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,320
Ugh.
213
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:23,960
Heh!
214
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,960
Ahh!
215
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,960
Excuse me do you want to have sex?
216
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,959
Joy, Joy.
217
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,960
Yeah, just, you know,
one of those super-casz things.
218
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,959
Hm. Ah, yeah, why not?
OK, let's do it.
219
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,480
Oh, yes, thank you!
220
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:48,960
Give anything a try.
221
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:52,959
We just get, like, really drunk.
222
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,959
We just get cans of cider
and neck them in someone's garden.
223
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,959
Uh, yeah, all right
Miss Teen Angst 1995.
224
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,959
Or here's another idea.
We could be normal
225
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,159
and just chat to them
and get to know them
226
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,999
for five minutes
before we puke all over them.
227
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,959
Well, that's good
because I've got a list
228
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,999
of interesting topics
in case the chat dries up.
229
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,959
You've got a list of in...
Give me that!
230
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,639
My list of interesting topics,
give it to me!
231
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,959
The weather! Town planning.
232
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:16,959
Town planning?!
- Give it to me.
233
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,959
- Here's what I think.
- Oh, my God.
234
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:19,999
Oh, my God.
- Yeah, yeah.
235
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,959
- Are you doing that?
- Yeah. I'm actually doing it.
236
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:23,959
Stop it!
237
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:27,959
This... This is what I think of
your list of interesting topics.
238
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,999
- That's disgusting.
- You're disgusting!
239
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,959
Oh, what's happening, Amelia?
240
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,799
What is happening? I've never
even had a one-night stand
241
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,799
and I don't know what to do
about the immersion guy
242
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,959
that we all know boned me
because I feel like
243
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,319
I should be, like,
going out with him now,
244
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,959
which I know is daft.
245
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,159
And I met my ex's new girlfriend
246
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:48,959
to pretend to apologise
about this, like, work thing
247
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,959
and then she goes to me
"Oh, I love him.
248
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,959
"We're going to get married."
249
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,959
And I'm like,
"What is happening with this?"
250
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,959
And then she's like, "We made
love for two hours on Thursday."
251
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,959
- What?
- Two hours of riding!
252
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,319
And I'm going, "What is this?"
253
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,959
And she's like, "He says
you're an emotional stone."
254
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,479
And I'm like, "Ah!"
And she's like, "Two hours"!
255
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,959
And also I'm thinking
that kicking somebody in the vag
256
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,959
after they've made love
for two hours
257
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:18,319
is, like, you know, proper
medical emergency down there.
258
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,960
That... That could be...
259
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,959
And also, I have had some vodka.
260
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,960
No way (!) Really
261
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,159
- You finished?
- Yes.
262
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,959
OK, give me your hand.
263
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:33,960
Let's go on our date.
264
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,960
Two hours!
265
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,959
And she turned to me and she
said, "You can have the house"
266
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,960
"but just leave the garage
for your uncle."
267
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,959
Just got on the tractor
and drove off.
268
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:49,959
Wow.
- Yeah.
269
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,320
- That was just before she died.
- Yeah.
270
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,959
JOY LAUGHS
271
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,959
That's very funny.
272
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,960
When my mum died?
273
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:08,799
So, gentlemen, what is it
that you do for a living?
274
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:09,959
I'm a vet.
275
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,639
Oh, wow, Vietnam.
Thank you for your service.
276
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:13,959
And what about yourself?
277
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,959
I am a cardiologist.
278
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:16,959
AMELIA LAUGHS
279
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:17,959
I used to think I was one of those
280
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,319
cos I had
a little card-making business
281
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,799
making tiny little cards,
but then I realised I wasn't one
282
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,959
when I was on a plane and a man
got quite seriously ill
283
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,959
and all I could do was, like,
fan him with an envelope, so...
284
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,959
LAUGHTER
285
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,999
I was like, "Oh-oh-oh."
GRUNTS, LAUGHS
286
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,959
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
287
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,639
Wish I was there.
I would have saved his life.
288
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,960
That would have been gas.
289
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:41,959
Good story.
290
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,960
Say something.
291
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,959
Um, you know when you hear
of those stories
292
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,960
where somebody puts
a hamster up their...
293
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,959
Do you think if they got
into trouble
294
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,000
that they would go
to a vet or a doctor?
295
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,960
DRYER WHIRRING
296
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,959
Oh, Joy, what the hell's going on?
297
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,959
I feel like if this was
cold air it might help,
298
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,960
but it's very warm, and it's making
me feel worse if I'm honest.
299
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,959
- Are you drunk?
- Totally.
300
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,959
Amelia, I'm so terrible
at small talk.
301
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,959
I want to go home.
I'm so out of my comfort zone.
302
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,959
I want to lock myself in a cubicle
but there's too many germs!
303
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:36,999
OK, drink this for Mama.
304
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,959
I normally just drink
filtered water, really.
305
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,959
- Shut up, drink it.
- Totally.
306
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,959
- Good girl.
- Not so bad.
307
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,959
Lick the rest off the palm.
308
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,959
Good girl.
Good girl.
309
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,960
OK, how are you feeling?
310
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,959
- Hydrated.
- That's positive.
311
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:52,959
Yeah.
312
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,319
How do I do this, Amelia?
- Oh!
313
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:59,959
You stop trying to do it
and you just do it.
314
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,959
- You just do it.
- You just do it.
315
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,959
- You just do it.
- Do it.
316
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:06,959
Do it!
317
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,959
Do it, do it!
318
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,159
Yes, go, girl.
No, wrong way.
319
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,959
This way.
- Do it, do it!
320
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,799
- Oh, so sorry.
- Oh, sorry.
321
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,959
THEY CHEER
322
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,959
Come on, he's on steroids.
323
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,639
Yes. This is like ancient Rome.
324
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,319
Yeah, but with more rights
for women.
325
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,479
- And no lions!
- No lions.
326
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:29,959
No lions!
327
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,959
SHOUTING,
CHEERING
328
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,959
Faster, faster! Faster!
329
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,959
SHOUTING
330
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,959
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
331
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,959
Retirement's bullshit!
332
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,319
♪ Let the fun begin... ♪
333
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,959
- Whoo!
- Let's go.
334
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:45,959
♪ Hey
335
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,959
♪ I'm a wolf today... ♪
336
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,959
Oh, this is my song!
337
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,959
♪ I'll huff, I'll puff... ♪
- This is my song!
338
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,959
♪ I'll huff, I'll puff
I'll blow you away
339
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,639
♪ Say you will, say you won't
Say you'll do what I don't
340
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,960
♪ Say you're true, say to me
341
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:01,959
♪ C'est la vie... ♪
342
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,960
- Yee-hoo!
- Whoo!
343
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,959
♪ Hey
Na-na-na, hey
344
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,999
♪ Na-na-na, ho
345
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,999
♪ Na-na-na, hey... ♪
346
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,479
I fight like me da!
347
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,959
♪ Say you will, say you won't
348
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,959
♪ Say you'll do what I don't
349
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,960
♪ Say you're true, say to me... ♪
350
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,960
- Their chips are gonna go cold.
- Mm.
351
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,960
I forgot to ask for gluten-free.
352
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,959
- What a fun night.
- Mm.
353
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,480
You're fun, Joy.
354
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,800
Me?
355
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:55,639
I never really felt like I was
anything really, you know.
356
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,960
Just like a standard human being.
357
00:15:58,960 --> 00:15:59,999
Like a green fruit gum.
358
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,960
If you were gonna be
a fruit gum, like, a green one.
359
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:05,959
And then around him
360
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,959
I sort of felt like
I was maybe a bit more special.
361
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,639
Like a...
Like a limited-edition red one.
362
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,959
Like a loganberry flavour, maybe.
363
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,160
Now I feel like I'm down a bit
to orange.
364
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,960
I think you're like
a blue fruit gum.
365
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:28,960
There isn't any blue fruit gums.
366
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,480
Exactly.
367
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,959
- How do you like that?
- I see what you did there.
368
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:36,960
Yeah.
369
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:40,959
- Hey, Ed?
- Mm-hm.
370
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,959
Can I ask you
a serious medical question?
371
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,959
Look, I'll give you the 45 euro
or whatever, no problem.
372
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,959
That's quite all right.
I'll throw you a freebie.
373
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:55,960
Will you check if my heart
is made of stone?
374
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,960
Not a chance.
375
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,960
What... What did you feel,
like, mid-snack box?
376
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,959
You really grabbed this one
by the balls, Joy.
377
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,959
Yes, but I did leave
that detail out
378
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,959
because I thought it was
a little crass.
379
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,959
Joy, sit down.
380
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,960
We wanted to tell you
that you're doing a great job.
381
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,959
Our figures are up.
Your figure is up.
382
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,959
People are responding well to you.
383
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:43,959
They like your honesty,
384
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,959
the fact that it's not
all polished.
385
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,319
They think it's relatable
or something.
386
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,959
Who knows what's even going to
happen with Flora.
387
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,959
I mean, they think it's
a comedy, but we roll with that.
388
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,959
People think that it has heart.
389
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,799
Real heart.
390
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,959
That's down to you, Joy.
391
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,960
Me?
392
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:02,960
My heart?
393
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,959
Oh, hang on.
I think I hear something.
394
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:10,960
What?
395
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,479
It's a noise.
396
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,959
Oh, I find chicken tikka
hard to digest.
397
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:18,959
It could be that.
398
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,960
No, no, this is different.
399
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,799
I think you have a heart, Joy.
400
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,479
THEY CHUCKLE
401
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,960
Don't be ridiculous.
402
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:47,959
TV PLAYING
403
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,959
Do you know what?
404
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,959
You just got to be
where you're at when you are.
405
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,959
Do you know that kind of way like?
406
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,319
- Do you know that kind of way.
- Do you know that kind of way.
407
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,960
You know, kind of way.
408
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,959
Seriously, though, how do you
deal with all of it?
409
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,639
Mm.
410
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,959
I think I'm kind of like
the opposite to you,
411
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,959
so I try to make everything
really busy to avoid silence.
412
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,959
So I try to make my head
really noisy
413
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,639
instead of blocking it out.
414
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:19,959
I think I try to grab
every opportunity for happiness
415
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,960
just in case it all
gets used up or something.
416
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,959
So kind of the same
but totally different, as well.
417
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,959
Exactly.
418
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,960
It's all very confusing, really.
419
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,959
Life is a bucking bronco.
420
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,959
You just got to hold on
and ride it.
421
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,960
I definitely held on and rid it.
422
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,959
Oi, oi!
423
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,479
BOTH LAUGH
424
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:46,960
So shattered, roomie.
425
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,959
Oh, hey, I made you something.
426
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,160
- Did you?
- Mm-hm.
427
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,999
One of my little
cardiologist things.
428
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,959
Oh, my God.
429
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,800
PAPER RUSTLES
430
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:07,960
Hiya!
431
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:12,960
I love it.
432
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,960
- Oh.
- Oh.
433
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,960
PHONE CHIMES
434
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,959
Oh, Stan's coming over
for his camera.
435
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:31,960
Uh-huh.
436
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,959
KNOCK ON DOOR
437
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,960
Jesus, that was very fast.
438
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:40,960
Don't eat my cheese.
439
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,959
Look, I've said I'm sorry, OK?
440
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:52,999
For what, Joy?
What are you sorry for?
441
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,959
God, you're so
sanctimonious sometimes.
442
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,639
You know that?
It's not all my fault!
443
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,960
I don't... I don't care.
444
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,959
Have you come over here to tell me
445
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,959
how many days you've been
with your girlfriend?
446
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,799
Oh, no, wait, hang on.
Saw that on Instagram.
447
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:08,959
That was a nice touch.
448
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,959
Yeah, well, you don't own time,
Joy, or Instagram.
449
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,319
No, I don't, Mark Zuckerberg.
450
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:14,959
That's Facebook, actually.
451
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:15,960
Oh, yeah.
452
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,479
Why are you here?
453
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,959
I came for my parcel.
454
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,799
It arrived here, I think.
455
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,999
I forgot to do
the change of address
456
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,960
so it comes here automatically.
457
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,960
Is it for her?
458
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,160
It's her birthday.
459
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:50,960
It's so weird being back here.
460
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:55,960
Yeah, it is weird.
461
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,959
So you don't want me
to go anywhere.
462
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,959
You can go to the shops
if you like.
463
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,999
Or, I mean, Meath is fine.
- Meath?
464
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,959
Yeah, or any of the other
counties bordering Dublin.
465
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,959
I'm finding this
hard to gauge, Joy.
466
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,959
You see, one day
you keep me at arm's length
467
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,959
and the next
you don't want me to go anywhere.
468
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,959
What if you fall for someone
when you're there?
469
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,959
What if you're just with me
cos you can't have Anthea Turner?
470
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:44,999
OK, Joy, I liked her when I was 12,
471
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,959
but look, just cos
I'm physically not here,
472
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,959
it doesn't mean I'm not with you.
473
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,959
Oh, and just in case
you hadn't noticed,
474
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,799
I'm going on a cycling trip
with a man named Terrence.
475
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:55,959
SHE LAUGHS
476
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,959
And I'm pretty sure I don't
feel the same way about Terrence
477
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,960
as I do about you.
478
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,959
AMELIA GRUNTS
Aah!
479
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,479
Hiya.
'Yaysers, some fun.
480
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,959
'Glad there's a break from the
people whose smell I don't know.'
481
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,959
- Wanna play marry, shag, kill?
- Yeah.
482
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,959
'Ooh, that sounds like
a brilliant game. Can I play?
483
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,959
'I did my business outside today
for the first time in ages.
484
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:40,959
'So come on!'
485
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:45,959
Van Morrison, er, Prince Andrew
486
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,959
and then Phillip the immersion guy?
487
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,959
Um...
488
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,959
- Marry Van Morrison.
- What?!
489
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,959
Yeah, well, I don't want to shag him
and I don't want to kill him
490
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,959
because I did get a photo with him
at the St Patrick's Day Parade 2012
491
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,960
and I would feel so bad.
492
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,959
Shag HRH Andrew.
493
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,959
Obviously, Randy Andy.
494
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,959
And marry Phillip the immersion guy.
495
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,959
- No, you can't.
- Oh, yeah.
496
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:12,959
I don't ever have to see him again.
Uh, shag.
497
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,959
Oh, balls, I've already done that.
498
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,999
Um...
499
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,959
I'm going to kill him.
500
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:19,959
Oh, God, I mean, you could
501
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,959
give the poor lad
his socks back first.
502
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,959
'Not after I've ended them.'
503
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,959
CANINE AIDAN GROWLING
504
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,319
LAUGHS
505
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,959
OK.
506
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,959
Shag, marry, kill.
507
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,959
UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS
508
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,960
DOG BARKING
509
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,959
DOGS HOWLING
510
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,960
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