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1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:05,005
? It seems today that all you see ?
2
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:08,217
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?
3
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:11,178
? But where are those good
old-fashioned values ?
4
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,389
[all] ? On which we used to rely? ?
5
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:18,143
? Lucky there's a family guy ?
6
00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:21,522
? Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ?
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,115
? All the things
that make us ?
8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,942
? Laugh and cry ?
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:30,197
[all] ? He's a family guy! ?
10
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,036
Ah! Sunday at The Clam.
11
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,248
No family.
Just football, farts and friends.
12
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,583
Hey, Jerome,
could you turn the volume up?
13
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:45,212
And nothing like a national ad
with mismatched local audio at the end.
14
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,879
[announcer]
The new Chevy Blazer.
15
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,716
All roads, all seasons. Go explore.
16
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,218
[announcer 2 distorted]
Shop our deals at Cerrone's Auto Barn.
17
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,345
Route one, Pawtucket.
18
00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:57,848
[commentator] And that'll do it.
19
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,810
Here from Denver where the Patriots
lose their fifth straight,
20
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,937
41 to six.
21
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,564
Ugh, I hate that people
in Denver get to be happy
22
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,150
the rest of the afternoon
while we have to be sad.
23
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,736
It's only two o'clock there.
Mountain time.
24
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,321
The man knows his zones.
25
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:13,781
The only good thing
about the game was listening to Tom Brady.
26
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,701
Yeah, it's fun having him in the booth.
27
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,314
Guys, he's doing the game
next week at Foxborough.
28
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,163
-We should go!
-I don't know.
29
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,374
The traffic on Route One
is a nightmare.
30
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:24,834
I'll tell you what isn't a nightmare
on Route One.
31
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:27,628
[distorted] The savings
at Cerrone's Auto Barn in Pawtucket.
32
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,798
You kind of heard the man.
We're going.
33
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,429
[Stewie] Brian! Treat!
34
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,099
Where is it? Where is it?
35
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,100
-I've been a good boy.
-Yeah, I don't have a treat.
36
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,810
I just need your help
moving a mattress.
37
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,688
Don't do that!
You have no idea!
38
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,523
Okay, whoa, jeez, whatever!
39
00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:48,607
Anyway, Rupert has somehow
got his leg stuck
40
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,526
between the side of the crib
and the mattress.
41
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,737
[Brian] Looks like he's also
handcuffed to the bars.
42
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,864
Yeah, that's something else.
Let's focus on the mattress.
43
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,200
I need you to help me
move it so we can free him.
44
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,953
[grunting]
45
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,581
What the deuce!
46
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,916
Brian, is that a built-in ashtray?
47
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,586
-Appears to be, yeah.
-How old is this crib?
48
00:02:07,587 --> 00:02:09,337
Well, I think
a lot of the stuff in here
49
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,208
is hand-me-downs
from Meg and Chris.
50
00:02:11,209 --> 00:02:12,590
And Peter and Lois before them.
51
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,969
Wait! Parents would smoke
while putting the baby down for a nap?
52
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,471
No, the baby would smoke
while the parents were at work.
53
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,765
This was before babysitters,
you gotta remember.
54
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:24,061
Ugh! I deserve better
than this white trash furniture!
55
00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,145
Well, maybe the place
could use some freshening up.
56
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,938
You know what?
I'll take you to IKEA.
57
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:28,989
What's that?
58
00:02:28,990 --> 00:02:32,526
It's a furniture store where people go to
eat meatballs and argue with their wives.
59
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,320
Oh, right.
That place near the airport.
60
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,448
Yeah, they're always
near the airport.
61
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:37,866
And no other stores.
62
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:45,082
[singing]
? And the home of the... ?
63
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:49,753
? Brave... ?
64
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,923
Uh-oh! I think she's
holding it until the flyover.
65
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,259
[? continues singing note]
66
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,432
Boy, they're really
late today.
67
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,141
[? continues singing note,
straining]
68
00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:04,975
-[gasps]
-[microphone feedback]
69
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,228
[all cheering]
70
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,719
Greatest country
in the world, right?
71
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,942
I'm gonna hold eye-contact
till you respond.
72
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,069
Oh, absolutely.
73
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,737
-Love it or leave it.
-Mmm...
74
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,073
Chowder here, get your hot chowder!
75
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,075
Meg? What the hell are you doing here?
76
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,744
Well, every three years
vendor licenses expire.
77
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,418
So, every three years
there's a re-evaluation of-
78
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,957
Shorter! Shorter story, Meg.
79
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,917
I applied for the job
and I got it.
80
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,337
Yes! That is the exact length
of story that men wanna hear.
81
00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:34,380
Please pass the word
amongst your people.
82
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,383
So who wants a creamy clam squirt?
83
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,676
Uh... giggity?
84
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,303
Guys! Look at this!
There's Brady in the booth!
85
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,437
[inaudible]
86
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,474
God! He's gorgeous!
87
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,017
Yeah, I saw him earlier.
88
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,145
That's right where
I refill my clam vat.
89
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,689
Wait, you saw him?
Let me smell your eyes!
90
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,272
Meg, you gotta get us in there!
91
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:54,401
I don't know. Security's pretty tight.
92
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,528
Oh, I can smooth talk celebrities.
93
00:03:56,611 --> 00:04:00,365
You know, I used to be Eddie Murphy's
late night pizza and prostitute guy.
94
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,075
[cell phone vibrates]
95
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,996
-Hello?
-Peter, I need two meat lovers.
96
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,458
Again. I need to know if you're
talking about pizzas or prostitutes.
97
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,836
[chuckles] Okay, nevermind.
I want two Hawaiians.
98
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,379
And make sure they hot.
99
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:17,053
I feel like our system
isn't quite working, Edward.
100
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,847
God! This place is so crowded.
101
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,390
Who are all these people?
102
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:28,934
Mostly step-families furnishing the
lesser house they got after the divorce.
103
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,896
The second time around, you want
stuff that's not worth fighting over.
104
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,565
Oh, here we are. Kids' bedrooms.
105
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,346
Ooh! These are quite nice!
106
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,530
I feel like I'm in the Olympic village
of a not good country.
107
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,574
I like this bed, the K�ksavfall.
108
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:45,035
Oh, sorry. That one's on back order.
109
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,408
But we could get it to you
in six to eight weeks.
110
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,462
Really?
111
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:52,751
Yeah, the one thing you want is
always the one thing that's out of stock.
112
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,461
That's the IKEA promise.
113
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,924
Sounds like more of a threat.
114
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:59,758
Uh, I think it sort of walks the line
nicely between the two.
115
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,135
Oh, and there's some
assembly required.
116
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,221
-How much is some?
-All.
117
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,430
Okay, give us a moment.
118
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:08,183
That's fine. I'm quitting soon anyway.
119
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,853
[sighs] You know, Brian,
I just had a thought.
120
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,107
Instead of ordering
all this to our house,
121
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,857
we could just make this our house.
122
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,608
What do you mean?
You wanna live here?
123
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:18,659
Well, think about it.
124
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,569
We could have a different living room
every night,
125
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,154
and a different kitchen
every morning.
126
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,625
-I don't know.
-[gasps] And, Brian, look at that!
127
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,786
A whole array of elevated dog bowls.
128
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:32,290
Wow! I won't have to lower my face
to the floor like some scumbag cat!
129
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,834
You know what? I'm in!
130
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,127
Excuse me, is this bed in stock?
131
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,546
What? I don't work here.
132
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,464
No, I know. I work here.
133
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,216
I just don't know anything.
134
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,663
-[crowd cheering]
-[players grunting]
135
00:05:46,664 --> 00:05:48,389
And that's the end
of the third quarter.
136
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:51,685
We'll be right back after
this word from your local station.
137
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,894
[knocking at door]
138
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,478
-Who is it?
-[Peter] Hi, yes,
139
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:57,231
we're the family of the people
murdered by Aaron Hernandez,
140
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,525
and we're here to collect
our signed football.
141
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,112
Oh, well, you deserve at least that!
142
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,530
Hey, Tom!
143
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,823
Oh, God! I don't know
what's happening! [giggling]
144
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:09,327
So, Tom, what was your favorite
time zone to play in?
145
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:12,664
That was the question
you were fired up about in the elevator?
146
00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:14,790
Oh, who are we kidding?
We can't lie to you, Tom.
147
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:18,295
We're just drunk men who get burp-nervous
when talking to our hero.
148
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,214
So... [burps] 35 and 13
in the play-offs, huh?
149
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,884
Can we call security? Security!
150
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:26,720
Clear outta here, you knuckleheads!
151
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,139
I'm sorry. I told them not to bother you.
152
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,391
Wow! Your forearms are massive.
153
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,034
Do you do resistance training?
154
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,770
No, but I do take
a Popeye class at Equinox.
155
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,063
Ha! Popeye!
156
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,774
That's one of the six
pop culture references I know.
157
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,651
I owe you for saving my butt.
158
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,904
You know, I'm in town for a few days.
159
00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:46,030
Maybe I could take you out
for a cup of coffee
160
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,490
while I have a room-temperature
brown mushroom liquid.
161
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,701
Sounds great.
162
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,374
Ugh! Speaking of
room-temperature brown liquids...
163
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:55,165
I gotta go lady-spatter
the mezzanine toilet.
164
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,333
You see, when vendors
have extra clam chowder-
165
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,074
[Peter] Short- Shorter story, Meg.
166
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,843
Oh, Meg, I am so proud of you!
167
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,762
A date with Tom Brady!
168
00:07:08,763 --> 00:07:11,388
Okay, now, I know Tom Brady
is my favorite athlete,
169
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,307
but you are still
my teenage daughter.
170
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,726
So I'll just say,
if he's doing hand stuff on you,
171
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,437
try and snap up a Super Bowl ring.
172
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,314
-Dad!
-Come on, Peter!
173
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:21,398
Come on, what?
I'm basing this on you, Lois!
174
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:22,566
Meg, you might not notice,
175
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:26,070
but your mom is basically like the
Little Shop of Horrors plant down there.
176
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:29,081
Guys, it's just coffee.
It's not like we're getting married.
177
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,493
[gasps] Married to Tom Brady?
178
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:34,412
Wow! I'll finally
have a son I can be proud of!
179
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:37,666
[bell chimes]
180
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:41,044
Hi, I'd like to tattoo
the word "whore" on my chest.
181
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,587
Getting back at your dad?
182
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,547
You saw the last scene, huh?
183
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,007
Yeah, big fan.
184
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,831
I actually tattoo a lot of pictures
185
00:07:47,832 --> 00:07:50,219
of your little brother
on fat people's ankles.
186
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,430
Oh, you mean this guy?
187
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:53,807
[laughing] Nice!
188
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,774
Ugh! I ate so much breakfast fish.
189
00:08:02,775 --> 00:08:05,401
I'm worried I'm not going to have room
for my lunch fish.
190
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,778
I might go take a walk.
See where the arrows take me.
191
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:11,658
Yesterday they took me to art any
orthodontist would be proud to display.
192
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:12,791
Okay, sounds good.
193
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,494
I might go pretend write
on one of the cardboard computers
194
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,663
in one of the fake dens.
195
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,331
I like our life.
196
00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:26,255
All right, Meg,
you have coffee with Tom.
197
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,966
I'm gonna steal somebody's
phone order and let them worry about it.
198
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,885
-Dozen for Rajiv!
-Yes, sir.
199
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:33,771
[all gasping]
200
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,932
Whoa, holy crap! Tom Brady?
201
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,226
I, I gotta call my almost deaf brother.
202
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,629
[shouting] Billy! Billy!
203
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,605
Billy, Tom Brady just walked into
our Dunkin' Donuts.
204
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,023
Tom Brady!
205
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,526
No, no, I'm not gonna
call him Benedict Arnold!
206
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,019
Billy, I'm not gonna
call him Benedict Arnold!
207
00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:50,988
My brother, Billy,
thinks you're Benedict Arnold.
208
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,658
Well, New England will
always be home to me...
209
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,410
is what I've been told to say.
210
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,579
-Hey, Meg.
-Hey, Mr. Brady.
211
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:01,166
Please. Mr. Brady
is my surprisingly unattractive father.
212
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,668
-Call me Tom.
-Okay, Tom...
213
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,587
So, is it cool being back?
214
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,213
You're like a god around here.
215
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:10,216
In my playing days, maybe,
but now that I'm an announcer,
216
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,842
it's like starting all over again.
217
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:15,013
Only this time, I don't have
Coach Belichick talking in my ear.
218
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,146
It's easy.
219
00:09:16,147 --> 00:09:19,099
All you have to do is watch the game
and relay what's happening.
220
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,602
Like if the middle line-backer
drops into deep coverage,
221
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,105
you know that you're facing
a Tampa 2 defense.
222
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:28,610
Wow! How does a pretty girl like you
know so much about football?
223
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,153
I'm a woman in New England.
224
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,905
I'm required to watch football,
225
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,199
but forbidden to speak during it.
226
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:37,869
Meg, I'd love to have you
talking into my earpiece during the game.
227
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,204
I really think you could put me
on the right track.
228
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,165
-I'd love that!
-Great!
229
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,626
Then we'll- Ow! What the...
230
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,545
[laughs] Peter,
I got the ring, let's go!
231
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,429
Excuse me. Do you mind
if we try this sofa?
232
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,973
Uh, we're a shoes-off household.
233
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,724
Do you know if this sofa folds out?
234
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,103
Oh, so she wants
to put your mom on a sofa bed?
235
00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:05,979
It's gonna be your bed in eight months,
if you're not careful.
236
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,565
Ah, this must be the dick-ish baby
from the Yelp review.
237
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,820
-You have to Yelp IKEA?
-Yep. It's definitely him.
238
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,245
Well, this team, really needs
a win tonight against the Cowboys.
239
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,205
Tom, give us your keys to the game.
240
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,918
The three keys tonight
are defense, defense, defense!
241
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,294
Then compliment his tie.
242
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:31,148
The three keys tonight
are defense, defense, defense.
243
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,590
Then compliment his tie.
244
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:35,176
Oh, thank you very much, sir.
My wife picked it out.
245
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,060
Okay, we'll work on the compliments.
246
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,347
[crowd chattering]
247
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,809
Now, the Vikings' D-line
is gonna have their work cut out for them.
248
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,019
But remember, as Lou Holtz said...
249
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,021
No one ever drowned in sweat.
250
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,606
Excellent point, Tom.
251
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,941
You're killing it!
252
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,652
Now, just do a lackluster promo
for a new Fox show.
253
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:56,990
Stick around after the game
for an all-new Animal Control on Fox.
254
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,450
Why watch limitless
free porn on your phone,
255
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:02,745
when you can see Joel McHale
try to catch a ferret?
256
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,539
Animal Control.
257
00:11:09,598 --> 00:11:15,257
All right. Looks like we finally
got the place to ourselves.
258
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,552
-I call top bunk!
-I also call top bunk!
259
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,933
Wow! When the place is empty like this,
260
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:23,348
it's like we live in a mansion!
261
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,767
And do you know
what people who live in mansions do?
262
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,145
They host dinner parties.
263
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,606
You wanna host
a dinner party in the store?
264
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,150
Provided I can lose
nine pounds by Saturday.
265
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,373
You weigh eight pounds.
266
00:11:33,374 --> 00:11:34,985
I didn't say it was going to be easy.
267
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:38,197
[sighs] Finally, I don't have to be
ashamed of where I live anymore.
268
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,491
This is my chance
to ingratiate myself
269
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,535
to the movers and shaker of Quahog.
270
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,204
You mean "movers and shakers"?
271
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:47,597
No, Quahog is leaded with movers,
but it's only got the one shaker.
272
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,751
We'll set it for 8:05, after closing.
273
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,128
Driving is encouraged, plenty of parking.
274
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:54,922
Look at us, Brian!
It's just what we always talked about.
275
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,273
I don't recall ever
having this conversation.
276
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,094
Yeah, you know...
living in a store with your buddy!
277
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,513
Eating so much fish you feel crazy!
278
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,431
Yeah, we definitely never
talked about this,
279
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,962
but I'm also having a nice time.
Good night, Stewie.
280
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,898
[Stewie] I bet we're having the best time
of anyone living in any store.
281
00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:19,738
Well, time is running out in this game.
282
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,948
Which is a good thing because-
283
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,618
I just got my period
and I have to get to the bathroom.
284
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,411
It's a crime scene down there.
285
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,535
Well, that's all tonight from Minnesota
286
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:31,459
as the Vikings hold on
to beat the Cowboys, 28 to 24.
287
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:32,669
And we're clear.
288
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,087
Great job tonight, Tom.
289
00:12:34,088 --> 00:12:36,046
Wanna come get
blackout drunk with me
290
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,799
in a second-tier American city
because we're sports announcers?
291
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,053
Sorry, I can't. I've got this date
with a Victoria's Secret model.
292
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,055
Oh! Are you guys getting serious?
293
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,391
No, I get with a different
model every night.
294
00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:49,142
And I've kind of been hanging out
with this chick, Meg.
295
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,270
[over earpiece]
But just for her football knowledge.
296
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,721
-Is she hot?
-[Tom Brady] No.
297
00:12:52,722 --> 00:12:55,774
On a scale of one to 10,
they have to put her on a different scale
298
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,610
because she's like 200 pounds.
299
00:12:58,695 --> 00:12:59,745
[knocking at door]
300
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:02,781
[Chris] Meg, you're missing
an all-new Animal Control on Fox!
301
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,910
And anyone of them
could be the last one ever!
302
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,710
Meg, are you okay?
303
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,919
[Meg] No, I'm not!
304
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,337
Tom Brady's been using me
for my football knowledge!
305
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,007
And I thought that he liked me.
306
00:13:19,008 --> 00:13:20,882
But then I was listening
over the headphones-
307
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,176
Shorter. These really
gotta be shorter, sweety.
308
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:26,097
-[Meg] Tom thinks I'm ugly.
-Okay, yeah, I can see that.
309
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,390
[cell phone vibrates]
310
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,116
[sighs]
311
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:53,665
All right. Our dinner party guests
should be here any minute.
312
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,876
Wait. How are they gonna
believe this is your house?
313
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,085
What about the store sign?
314
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,886
I just covered it with a giant banner.
315
00:13:58,978 --> 00:14:03,592
Did you steal that
from the children's hospital?
316
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,386
People know about cancer.
317
00:14:07,187 --> 00:14:10,348
Who's even coming to this thing?
318
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,142
Well, you know Orville Redenbacher?
319
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,728
We got his grandson, Josh.
320
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,480
Also M. Ron Hubbard,
321
00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:17,647
the French president's
bizarrely older wife,
322
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,609
the gal who me-too'd Matt Lauer,
323
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,944
and of course, the heiress,
Agnes R. Thermos.
324
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,446
The heiress to what fortune-
Oh, yeah. I think I got it.
325
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,116
Oh, no. It might be
all white people, Brian.
326
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,284
I think I screwed up.
327
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,203
Well, now you can't post a group shot.
328
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,871
Well, it wasn't on purpose.
Those are just the people I know!
329
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,500
Why do I feel bad for
getting my friends together?
330
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,210
-Oh, thank God!
-What?
331
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,333
Josh Redenbacher's girlfriend is Black.
332
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:40,755
Group photo, everyone!
333
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,092
[scattered chatter]
334
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,303
You have such a lovely home,
335
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,472
and the layout is so interesting.
336
00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:50,972
Well, every time we go on vacation,
337
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,682
we seem to come home with another kitchen.
338
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,352
Brian, can I have a word?
339
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,022
It appears the French
president's wife left a...
340
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:01,776
feces abnormale in the toilet
just off the third kitchen.
341
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,235
-So?
-There's no plumbing!
342
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,028
These toilets
are just sitting on the floor!
343
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,769
You know what? I'll, I'll handle it.
344
00:15:06,770 --> 00:15:09,366
-[dinging]
-Excuse me. Everyone, hi.
345
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,410
As you're enjoying
you endive salad,
346
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,828
just a quick bit of housekeeping.
347
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,719
Feel free to use any one
of the 40 commodes on the premises.
348
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,758
But please note that we're doing
a one-and-done situation.
349
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,504
So only use one that
hasn't been previously used.
350
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,715
Wow! Individual toilets? How fancy!
351
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,926
My grandpa made popcorn.
352
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,426
Yes, Josh, you mentioned that.
353
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,678
[whispers] Crisis averted!
354
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,223
If you'll excuse me,
I'll go check on our game hens.
355
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,268
Brian, may I have a word?
356
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:40,408
All right. So it seems that the game hens
I put in the oven six hours ago
357
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:42,024
are still solid blocks of ice.
358
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:45,718
Much like the toilets, the ovens appear
to be just objects on the ground.
359
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:46,996
Well, we could order food.
360
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,449
Uber Eats says Shake Shack could be here
in an hour and 45 minutes.
361
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,033
-Should I pull the trigger?
-Brian,
362
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,654
I'm on the verge of being invited
363
00:15:53,655 --> 00:15:55,996
to summer at the Thermos estate
on Lake George.
364
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:59,541
I'll be damned if I'm going to let them
realize this isn't actually our home.
365
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,336
Stewie, darling,
I hope it's not an imposition,
366
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,923
but I invited my cousin,
Ingeborg, to join us.
367
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,718
She's just in town for the weekend
from Stockholm.
368
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:12,638
[speaking Swedish]
369
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,515
Bri, we gotta kill this bitch.
370
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,605
Look at us, Lois.
Finally empty nesters.
371
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:22,147
Which brings me to my next point.
372
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,191
I feel we've been
growing apart for years
373
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:26,526
and I wanna give it a go
on my own down at the marina.
374
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,487
Peter, we're not empty nesters.
375
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,581
Stewie is with Brian
and Chris bent down to pick up his phone.
376
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:35,328
The only one missing is Meg
and I am really worried about her.
377
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,079
You don't have to worry, Mom.
378
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,666
She's on her way to the Super Bowl
to ruin Tom Brady's life.
379
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,043
How do you know that?
380
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,544
It's in her diary. Take a look.
381
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:45,295
I don't wanna look at Meg's diarrhea!
382
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:46,881
No, her diary.
383
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,299
It's like a journal.
384
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,718
I thought diary
was the singular of diarrhea.
385
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,304
So The Diary
Of Anne Frank was a book?
386
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,307
Oh, boy!
I owe the Museum of Tolerance an apology.
387
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,772
[muffled]
388
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,026
[muffled speaking continues]
389
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,902
All right.
I'd say she's neutralized.
390
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,488
Let's get back to the party.
391
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:13,531
All right. So we're just going
to go straight to the dessert,
392
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:16,201
which is vending machine
Reese's peanut butter cups.
393
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,037
Just take one and pass it down.
394
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,622
Reese's peanut butter cups?
395
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,499
-From Milan.
-Ooh.
396
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,918
-Fancy!
-Matt Lauer loves these!
397
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:27,463
Italy buys 16 metric tons
of popcorn per year!
398
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,548
[sighs] I don't have
the context to know
399
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,109
if that's a lot or a little, Josh.
400
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,219
Well, I'd like to propose a toast
401
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:36,430
to our two gracious hosts
neither of whom I know.
402
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,851
Wait. Why is there
a price tag under this glass?
403
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,063
[muffled]
404
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:48,401
Too bad, Agnes.
We could've had fun at Lake George.
405
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:51,195
I tried 40 sinks
but I can't wash my hands.
406
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,822
What's this room?
407
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,156
[Stewie sighs]
408
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,410
[muffled]
409
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,996
Should've just sat there
and ate your Reese's.
410
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:03,331
You know, Stewie, I can't talk to
Josh Redenbacher about crypto again.
411
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:04,916
Should we just call it and get outta here?
412
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,657
Yeah, I already got the group photo.
413
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,218
Welcome to Super Sunday on Fox!
414
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,303
Tom, what do you think
about today's game?
415
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,388
Yeah, good.
416
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,390
Should be... some football.
417
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,684
[whispers] Come on, Meg. Where are you?
418
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,652
I'm in.
419
00:18:33,563 --> 00:18:38,033
All right, Peter,
we're coming up on the stadium.
420
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,409
Thanks for doing this, Quagmire.
421
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:42,288
I gotta stop Meg
before she ruins Tom Brady's life.
422
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,998
No problem. Okay, here we go!
423
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:47,001
Jump in three, two...
Do you have a lollipop in your mouth?
424
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,753
-So?
-No lollipops.
425
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,576
What are you, the lollipop police?
426
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:51,756
Geroni- [choking]
427
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:53,932
[coughs, spits]
428
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,135
Why did you let me do that?
I almost died!
429
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,473
Hey, Quagmire,
have 'em open the dome.
430
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:02,390
[Quagmire]
They can't open the dome, it's a dome!
431
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,101
Well, you've done all you can.
432
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:10,615
[grunts]
433
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,611
[gasps, grunts]
434
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:14,744
Hey!
435
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:15,905
[straining]
436
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,076
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
437
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,452
-Oh!
-[crowd gasps]
438
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:25,081
Oh, no, I landed on
Bill Belichick's girlfriend.
439
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,083
[crying] She's only a child!
440
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,751
[sobbing]
441
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:30,878
[crowd cheering]
442
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,588
And after this timeout,
443
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,508
the Chiefs are set up
first and goal from the five.
444
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,467
While we have this break
in the action...
445
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:39,469
...there's something important
I wanna say.
446
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:42,056
Meg Griffin, will you marry me?
447
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:45,226
Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
448
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,520
This woman smells like hotdogs!
449
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,606
Stop! Meg!
Don't ruin Tom Brady's life!
450
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,066
No, I gave my word.
451
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:55,236
And I've always viewed myself
as an honest and truthful guy.
452
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,405
Except for Deflategate, Spygate...
453
00:19:57,406 --> 00:20:00,907
and when I promised my wife I'd retire
and then played for seven more years.
454
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:03,744
So, yes, Meg, I will marry you.
455
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,204
Is this really happening?
456
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,082
Meg, you helped me be
a better announcer.
457
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:10,959
The least I can do is throw away
the rest of my life for you.
458
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,010
Aw...
459
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,506
I go to bed at 7:00,
and I don't eat cheese.
460
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,675
Oh. But, I can eat cheese, right?
461
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,635
Nope. No cheese house.
462
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,304
[exhales] Who am I kidding?
463
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:25,557
I can't trap you into something
you don't wanna be a part of.
464
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,148
You've got the rest
of your weird life ahead of you!
465
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,604
Thank you, Meg. And I really
want you to know-
466
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:31,738
Hey!
467
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,858
I got the Seahawks rings,
Meg, let's go!
468
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:42,782
[on TV]
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.
469
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:45,411
Two of Quahog's movers
and its only shaker
470
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,874
were found bound and gagged
471
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,142
at a local furniture store
earlier tonight.
472
00:20:49,143 --> 00:20:51,291
Police suspect Matt Lauer
may be involved
473
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,627
as one of the victims
was his former accuser.
474
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,129
I'm honestly fine with that.
475
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,464
[cell phone vibrates]
476
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,132
-Oh, boy!
-What is it?
477
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,341
Apparently one Black person's
not enough.
478
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,344
Cleveland's dragging me
on Instagram.
479
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,722
[? theme music playing]
480
00:21:04,772 --> 00:21:09,322
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