All language subtitles for hope.and.faith.s03e06.hdtv-lol

First Brad dumps Jen, then Jude cheats
on Sienna.

So disgusting.

All these men become available and I'm
stuck in Ohio.

Well, I'm sure they'll call. Okay.

We've got flour, butter, egg.

Look at this.

What kind of snootbag just leaves her
groceries and expects the rest of us to

just wait around in line?

Trudy?

Oh, hello, Hope.

I was just shopping for your party.

Every year, Trudy throws the most
spectacular Halloween party.

Or should I say spooktacular.

I always like to make something, well,
you know, kind of thematic.

Yes, you do.

This year, I'm making a haunted
gingerbread house.

Marshmallow gold?

You know, it's not too late for you to
get beat up by the other kids.

You know my sister, Faith?

Yes. Hard to miss.

Like your butt.

See, Judy?

By the way, what time is your party?

Actually, this year, I decided not to do
the big thing.

Just an intimate gathering.

Oh.

You know, a few close friends and
relatives.

Right. Well, Halloween is a family time.

Stop it. What?

Come on, she's giving you the kiss off.

You are so cynical. You heard her.

She's just doing it smaller, you know,
with close friends, relatives.

There you go, Mrs. Walker.

See you at the party.

Does anyone know where Mom hid the candy
for the trick -or -treaters?

Actually, I convinced Mom to go healthy
this year.

We're giving out raisin boxes, granola
bars, oh, and baby carrot.

Oh, my God.

We're that house.

Yeah.

We've been that house ever since you two
were born.

I'm just saying, if Charlie and I aren't
invited to Trudy's annual party, it

must be because of something someone
did.

Me?

All I know is she's got a big swing on
her front porch that she doesn't like

strangers to enjoy.

We don't have to go to Trudy's party
this year?

Today, I am the luckiest man and I'm
alive.

Apparently, we didn't make the guest
list for the intimate gathering.

Great. No party.

This year's Halloween is going to be 30
minutes of trick -or -treating and four

hours of Monday night football, as God
intended.

Well, I was looking forward to that
party. I had it on my calendar with

exclamation points and a happy -faced
jack -o' -lantern.

No, I'd say the hell with Judy. She's a
big pain.

I had a run -in with her on the job I
did on her teeth whitening.

What? Like I told her, some people just
skew towards yellow.

I guess asking if she ever chewed
tobacco may have been a faux pas.

So you're the reason we weren't invited.

See, it had nothing to do with me using
the bathroom in her pool house.

So much for going to Trudy's party.

So much for my haunted gingerbread
house.

Too bad, because it was going to blow
last year's gumdrop graveyard right out

the water.

You can make the gingerbread house for
us. We're people.

We're not just people. We're party
people.

You just got royally snubbed. You have
to fight back.

Hey, yeah, you know what? I've already
bought tons of toilet paper and shaving

cream.

You know, for if you get the runs or...
Want to shave your legs?

So what if Trudy's having a party? You
have one, too.

Hey, now, wait a minute. Oh, I couldn't
do that.

Christmas is my party. Halloween is
Trudy's.

The Murphys have a lock on St. Patrick's
Day. Everyone knows that.

You know, this is so typical of you,
Hope, to just roll over and let Trudy

you up.

Well, what else am I supposed to do?

Throw a rival party. One time, Susan
Lucci had a party that I wasn't invited

so I threw my own screw -you bash.

Guy fell off my balcony, shattered his
vertebrae, I got sued, and that is the

party everybody talked about.

Everybody's already going to Trudy's.
Well, I'm going to be here. And I'm a

party magnet.

And that's all you need, baby.

I will give you 50 bucks to shut up
about the party.

All right, Faith.

Let's do it.

I'm not wearing a costume. You'll be a
gladiator. Crap.

Bad news, we're too late.

The only costumes left are a Cinderella
one and Prince Harry.

That's it?

Well, the lady says that she's also got
some, like, fruit.

Giant bananas and grapes.

That could be kind of funny.

I'll tell you what, you take Cinderella,
I'll do the fruit.

Yeah, you sure?

Yeah, I once played a cantaloupe in a
commercial for the Melling Council.

Look, I have another great idea. I can
use this cauldron as a punch bowl.

I'm going to whoop Trudy's party's ass
all over the place.

So cool.

I have never been a bad girl before.

Or said that.

Like the time she thought she was off
the street because she learned the word

who let the dogs out.

Why, thank you.

These days it's so rare that a gentleman
offers a lady his hook.

Do you think this is enough to say
pirates of the Caribbean, or should I do

velvet coat and the boots?

I think you would look great no matter
what you're wearing. Unless you're

married, but I don't see a ring on your
hook.

Brent? Faith.

I don't know. Maybe I need a little bit
more.

Oh, my God, he's gorgeous.

I know.

And I think he's interested. Did you see
how he was staring? He couldn't keep

his eye off me.

I think this works.

Oh, that more than works.

That works a full -time job and raises
the kids and still manages to keep its

girlish figure.

What are you doing? You're babbling.

I'm being charming in an offbeat way,
like Meg Ryan. Shut up!

So are you from Glen Falls?

No, I'm here on business, but my cousin
Trudy kind of roped me into sticking

around for this big Halloween party she
throws every year.

Cousin Trudy Walker?

Yeah, but don't hold that against me.

Listen, I know this is kind of abrupt,
but do you feel like going with me?

Another brainstorm.

I'm going to take those little hot dogs,
carve them out, and call them

Halloweenies.

I am on fire.

Uh, Brent, this is my sister Hope.

She's a townie.

Nice to meet you. You too.

So, we're on?

Uh... No, I'm sorry. I have plans.

Oh.

Too bad.

Another lifetime.

Sidney, your Aunt Faith just did
something very moral and good.

Now step back. Your in -faith feels
nauseous.

And the gladiatorial games were
originally established by the Etruscans

later adopted by the Romans as a form of
entertainment.

No kidding.

Do you like football, Ned? Do you watch?

No.

The word gladiator comes from the Latin
word gladius, meaning short sword, so

technically your sword is inaccurate.

Trust me, if it was real, I would have
used it by now.

Okay, Justin, take these out and pass
them around.

Wait, I have to get a picture of you in
your cute little Nemo outfit.

Oh, no, there will be no record of me
dressed like this.

Like me, going as Little Bo Peep.

First I thought, well, I'm going to need
some toy sheep.

But then I realized, I don't need toy
sheep.

Because I've lost my sheep.

See?

So, let's have a little chat with Ned
Feckler.

Question, can we never see him again?

What happened to your costume?

Oh, uh, I came up with a better one.

I'm... I'm a football fan.

You know that couch potato that just
sits around watching football and tunes

everybody around him?

It's conceptual, like Faith in the Grape
or you and... Little Bo Peep. And I

don't have sheep because I've lost...
You lost your sheep, right.

Good stuff.

Just take these in there and pass them
around.

You really want me handling food?

Old football fan's been doing some
serious scratching.

You know what? None of this would have
been happening if you'd done a better

bleaching Trudy's teeth. Hey, I did the
best I could. The next step was me

slapping on a bucket of Navajo white.

Faith, keep an eye on the stuffed
mushrooms, will you?

Look, I know this isn't exactly the A
-list Hollywood party you're used to, so

it... Well, it means all the more to me
that you're here.

I don't even care about being snubbed by
Trudy, because I'm fighting back with

my own party.

Thanks to you.

he's a monkey.

I'm not a mailman.

I'm famed zoologist Jane Goodall who
spent years studying apes in Tanzania

tormented by tsetse flies.

Yeah, I was going to do that one too,
but I just knew so many other kids were.

I'm trying to figure out who's in more
trouble, you or Aunt Faith.

You know, I cannot believe I agreed to
do this. It is so not worth it to have

breathe this.

Think of whatever loser wore this before
me.

Plus, it makes me look way fat.

In fact, women were not allowed to herd
sheep until the late 1600s.

Oh, look.

I've run out of little mini fiches.

Charlie?

You know, when you talk to me, it really
spoils the effect I'm going for with

this costume.

Someone who can't find her sheep is
still doing a good job of keeping track

me.

Oh, by the way, I told Sidney to be home
at 10 o 'clock. It is now 10 .20.

Charlie, relax.

Hey, we need some more avocado dip from
the fridge. Haley, take these out and

pass them around.

By the way, the chimp and the flies,
great touch.

You know, I was going to get myself a
sheep or two, but that doesn't make

because I've lost a sheep.

Right.

Look, all I'm saying is it's a school
night. Sidney has a curfew.

And if I have to be at this stupid
party, so should she.

Charlie, you cannot expect a 17 -year
-old to want to hang around a party with

grown -ups. But if you're so worried,
then just give her a call. She's over at

Maddie's. I think I will.

He's just mad because we have to have
this party.

That's all right.

I'll make it up to him later.

In the bedroom.

Some football fan might just get himself
a little Bo Peep show.

Yeah. Okay.

Thanks, Barb.

She's not at Maddie's. Well, try
yourself.

Faye said I could have her car for a
night if I pretended to be her so she

go to Trudy's with that cute guy she met
at the party store.

And by the way, your Halloweenies?

Inspired.

You do realize you're grounded.

What for?

For lying.

And for not coming to the party when I
had to.

And Sydney, it is not right to hide
behind a disguise and pretend to be

you're not.

Waiting for food.

Who cares about the food?

Faith duped you into having this party.

Aren't you mad at her?

Of course I am. But I don't have time to
be angry right now. I have

responsibility to my guests. You know,
my awful...

You have got to be one of the most
beautiful women I have ever seen.

Oh, I am.

Sidney!

What are you doing here?

Hey, how'd it go with your mom?

I think she's on to you.

I cannot believe you abandoned me.

You were supposed to be at my party,
helping me, being there for me.

I can explain.

Here's my explanation.

Look at this guy!

You never change.

You suck me into something, then whammo!
You ditch me!

Oh, you have a party too, Hope. I'll be
there for you. That's all you need,

baby.

Hogwash! Hogwash!

Will you break down? You're embarrassing
me.

And I'm dressed like a hooker. Oh, no,
no, no.

You told me to fight back. So here I am,
fighting back.

And don't let the fruit costume fool
you. I mean business.

Is there a problem, ladies?

Oh, Trudy.

Hello.

I'm so sorry to show up at your party
without being invited. But I just had to

come and convey a message to my sister.
But I'm done now. So good night. And a

very happy All Hallows' Eve to you and
yours.

Oh, and listen.

I really do hope we can, you know, get
past that whole issue you had with

Charlie. And, you know, your... teeth.

My teeth?

They're yellow, Trudy. Deal with it.

FYI, Hope, you being left off the list
of invitees had nothing to do with your

husband's dental incompetence.

You must know I grew weary of your
sister constantly trying to upstage me

year with her Betty Crocker
monstrosities.

The gumdrop graveyard.

The raspberry filled vampires.

Well, I don't know if you noticed, but
when you poked the vampires, it was

supposed to be blood. We get it. It's a
hoot.

Are you going to let her get away with
that?

Oh, no.

And this will sting.

Betty Cracker recipes are surprisingly
flavorful, while budget -friendly, and

have stood the test of time.

Oh, for God's sake.

Trudy, don't talk to my sister like
that.

Her cooking is ten times better than the
crap on a cracker you've been passing

around.

In fact, Brent's the only good thing at
this raging -ass yawn fest, and he

doesn't even like you.

Faith, that's... She's right. I don't.
I'm only here because our moms play

mahjong.

My sister is known as one of the best
cooks and hostesses in Glen Falls, Glen

Hills, and Glenwoods. And Glenchester,
watch out!

If your sister's such a good hostess,
then why is everybody at my party?

with those Halloweenies or you're
shaking your nonnies too.

Well, thank you.

Here you go.

Take two. There's plenty. Take two.

Oh, come on.

I think what you did stinks.

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

It was wrong for me to abandon you.

If it helped.

I felt so guilty that every time I
looked at Brent, I saw your face.

Which was especially awkward when we
were making out.

Anyway, I do appreciate, you know, you
sticking up for me.

Consider it a free lesson in fighting
back.

I think I fought back pretty good.

You looked a little scared when I was
giving you the business.

It's easy for you to yell at me. I'm
your sister.

You need to learn to stand up for
yourself to people like Trudy who walk

over you.

Yeah, I guess.

But don't worry.

I'll always be there to fight your
battles with you.

And I promise, I will never, ever
abandon you again.

Oh, look.

Brent just came in.

You and Faith all squared away?

Because if you're still pissed at her, I
could pop the trunk and get Ned.

You know, I didn't think it was possible
for you to be more handsome without

your pirate costume.

I was wrong.

Uh, Brent.

You forgot the eye patch.

Oh, uh, no I didn't. That's real,
actually.

Look.

You're still really hot.