All language subtitles for South.Park.S11E04.DSR.XviD-NoTV.VO

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,140 --> 00:00:08,184 South Park - Season 11 Episode 4 "The Snuke" 2 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,385 3 00:00:37,132 --> 00:00:39,750 All right, students, let's take our seats. 4 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:44,307 Everyone try to be nice because we have a new student joining us today, 5 00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:47,493 and I know you'll all make him feel welcome. 6 00:00:47,930 --> 00:00:52,780 Say hello to... Bahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem. 7 00:00:53,829 --> 00:00:55,116 Uh oh! 8 00:00:55,470 --> 00:00:58,232 - Welcome to our class, Bahir. - Thank you. 9 00:00:58,432 --> 00:01:00,082 Duhude, dude, not cool! 10 00:01:00,145 --> 00:01:02,726 Why don't you take a seat in Kyle's empty desk for now? 11 00:01:02,776 --> 00:01:03,800 Okay. 12 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:08,920 Oooh hooohoho. Nooo, noohoohoo. 13 00:01:09,298 --> 00:01:12,378 - Eric, what the hell is wrong with you? - What's wrong?? 14 00:01:13,322 --> 00:01:16,163 - Has he been checked for bombs? - Eric, that's enough! 15 00:01:16,213 --> 00:01:18,563 Not all Muslim people are terrorists! 16 00:01:18,655 --> 00:01:22,230 No, but most of them are. And all it takes is most of them. 17 00:01:27,812 --> 00:01:29,357 Now you go, Bahir. 18 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,462 - Yeah? - Kyle, are you on your computer? 19 00:01:45,512 --> 00:01:47,047 What? No, I'm sick. 20 00:01:47,247 --> 00:01:49,440 Get online. I need you to check something for me. 21 00:01:49,490 --> 00:01:50,632 Dude, leave me alone. 22 00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:53,498 Kyle, every one of our friends might be in serious danger! 23 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:56,003 - What? Why? - Get online now! 24 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,654 All right, all right. 25 00:01:59,942 --> 00:02:04,001 Go to MySpace. See if there's a MySpace page for a Bahir Hakeem. 26 00:02:05,243 --> 00:02:06,393 Bahir Hakeem. 27 00:02:06,443 --> 00:02:09,517 Born in Chicago, eight years old, his favorite color is green... 28 00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:11,014 Cartman, what is this all about? 29 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,822 Kyle, I want you to check his buddy list. 30 00:02:12,872 --> 00:02:14,615 How many MySpace friends does he have? 31 00:02:14,815 --> 00:02:15,815 Over a hundred. 32 00:02:15,955 --> 00:02:19,031 Look further down the page. Does he list his favorite band? 33 00:02:19,081 --> 00:02:20,438 White Stripes 34 00:02:20,817 --> 00:02:22,490 - That's funny. - What? 35 00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:25,979 He told everyone in class today his favorite band was Blink-182. 36 00:02:31,082 --> 00:02:34,130 37 00:02:37,182 --> 00:02:38,221 Hello? 38 00:02:38,421 --> 00:02:41,958 Officer Barbrady, South Park Elementary is in serious danger! 39 00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:43,533 From what? Who is this? 40 00:02:43,583 --> 00:02:46,659 I've just ID'd a Muslim and his MySpace page does not check out. 41 00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:48,676 You've got to get these people out of here now! 42 00:02:49,618 --> 00:02:50,820 Are you serious? 43 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:53,374 If I wasn't serious, would I be talking like this? 44 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:54,255 Like what? 45 00:02:54,305 --> 00:02:56,825 Whispering, but whispering really loudly for dramatic effect. 46 00:02:56,826 --> 00:02:58,516 Oh jeez. 47 00:03:01,821 --> 00:03:02,999 What the hell?? 48 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:06,918 All students are to evacuate the school immediately! 49 00:03:11,047 --> 00:03:14,903 Hey, Bahir, uh since we get to go home, you wanna come over uh, play checkers? 50 00:03:14,953 --> 00:03:17,124 - Sure, okay. - All right! 51 00:03:19,354 --> 00:03:20,534 Dude. 52 00:03:23,644 --> 00:03:24,406 Yeah. 53 00:03:24,456 --> 00:03:27,056 Dude, I just got an IM from Stan that they evacuated the school. 54 00:03:27,057 --> 00:03:29,181 Yeah. Now do you believe me somethin' is goin' on?! 55 00:03:29,182 --> 00:03:30,144 I guess so. 56 00:03:30,194 --> 00:03:32,962 - I don't like it. It doesn't follow! - What doesn't follow? 57 00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:36,203 Why would a terrorist just blow up a school? It's not their M.O. 58 00:03:36,253 --> 00:03:37,502 Unless... 59 00:03:38,097 --> 00:03:41,488 Oh my God! Unless this was all just a big diversion. 60 00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:44,677 Kyle, I need you to Google-search the South Park Chamber of Commerce! 61 00:03:44,678 --> 00:03:45,395 Okay. 62 00:03:45,445 --> 00:03:47,379 Their Web site should have a calendar of events 63 00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,430 is there anything big going on in town today?! 64 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,554 - Yeah. Actually, there is. - What? 65 00:03:51,604 --> 00:03:53,598 There's a Hillary Clinton campaign rally. 66 00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:56,497 Cartman? ...Cartman? 67 00:03:59,474 --> 00:04:02,679 Sir! There's somebody calling in saying there's going to be a terrorist attack 68 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,711 on the Hillary Clinton rally today. 69 00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:05,761 What?? 70 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,023 This is CIA head, Alan Thompson. 71 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,424 Mr. Thompson, you have to call off the Clinton rally! 72 00:04:10,474 --> 00:04:11,947 There's a terrorist in South Park! 73 00:04:11,948 --> 00:04:14,230 - What do you know? - He just showed up out of the blue! 74 00:04:14,231 --> 00:04:16,111 I need to speak with the President right away! 75 00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:18,437 I'm the head of the CIA! You can tell me! 76 00:04:18,487 --> 00:04:20,238 I said I will only talk to the President! 77 00:04:20,288 --> 00:04:22,448 Look, if you have information of a threat, you could- 78 00:04:22,449 --> 00:04:23,554 Lalalalalalalala! 79 00:04:23,604 --> 00:04:25,964 - I will have you arrested for- - Lalala-I can't hear you! 80 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,993 Only the President! Lalalalalala! 81 00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:32,333 Call is coming through now, Mr. President. 82 00:04:32,383 --> 00:04:34,625 - Hello? - President Bush, this is Eric Cartman! 83 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,691 - Are we on a secure line? - Huh? Who? 84 00:04:36,741 --> 00:04:38,661 Look, I know you're not the biggest Hildog fan, 85 00:04:38,662 --> 00:04:40,242 but she is in great danger right now! 86 00:04:40,292 --> 00:04:41,365 Hildog? 87 00:04:45,247 --> 00:04:48,221 Yes, I understand. I'll let Ms. Clinton know. 88 00:04:48,504 --> 00:04:50,229 - What is it, Brian? - Ms. Clinton, 89 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:54,194 we just received word of a possible terrorist attack on your rally today. 90 00:04:54,244 --> 00:04:55,757 Is the threat credible? 91 00:04:55,807 --> 00:04:58,443 We aren't sure, but... perhaps it's best we call it off. 92 00:04:58,493 --> 00:04:59,415 No. 93 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:02,103 No, I will not be bullied by terrorist threats. 94 00:05:02,153 --> 00:05:03,767 Your men do a good job, Brian. 95 00:05:03,817 --> 00:05:07,191 I have faith that any threat will be taken care of accordingly. 96 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:09,411 We've reached the rally site, Hildog. 97 00:05:12,543 --> 00:05:15,309 Don't worry, Mrs. Clinton, I'm sure everything will be fine. 98 00:05:15,359 --> 00:05:16,609 Thank you, Chris. 99 00:05:20,435 --> 00:05:22,453 They know about the bomb! 100 00:05:23,335 --> 00:05:24,640 That is impossible! 101 00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:27,925 We took every measure to assure the bomb was hidden from sight. 102 00:05:27,975 --> 00:05:30,201 Well somebody tipped off the CIA. 103 00:05:30,401 --> 00:05:33,307 I don't know how much they know, but security has been heightened. 104 00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:36,456 That bomb must travel with the Clinton rally to Boston! 105 00:05:36,506 --> 00:05:38,856 The bomb won't make it to Boston now! 106 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:42,969 With the heightened security, it's only a matter of time before they find it! 107 00:05:43,019 --> 00:05:46,961 Then we have no choice. We have to move up the attack. 108 00:05:47,161 --> 00:05:50,065 - I understand, comrade. - Prepare yourself. 109 00:05:50,265 --> 00:05:53,827 We detonate the bomb... within the hour. 110 00:05:58,511 --> 00:06:01,376 Kyle, I'm at the Clinton rally site, but there's no sign of that kid! 111 00:06:01,426 --> 00:06:03,742 - So then maybe you're wrong. - Nope, I'm not wrong. 112 00:06:03,792 --> 00:06:05,952 He must be somehow attacking remotely from his house. 113 00:06:05,953 --> 00:06:07,399 - Did you find the address? - Yeah. 114 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,562 I cross-referenced his MySpace page with Realtor.com. 115 00:06:09,563 --> 00:06:11,885 His parents moved into that green house on Janice Street. 116 00:06:11,886 --> 00:06:13,486 Jesus, that's on the other side of town. 117 00:06:13,487 --> 00:06:16,007 All right, Kyle, I'm gonna take a picture with my camera phone 118 00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:17,997 and upload it to you. You ready? - Yeah. 119 00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:25,249 - What is that? - It's my balls! 120 00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:28,035 Goddamnit Cartman! 121 00:06:28,235 --> 00:06:30,193 Okay. Okay, Kyle, let's stay focused here. 122 00:06:30,798 --> 00:06:32,920 People of South Park, it is my honor 123 00:06:32,970 --> 00:06:36,220 to introduce a woman who deserves nothing but respect. 124 00:06:36,392 --> 00:06:38,670 Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton! 125 00:06:42,822 --> 00:06:48,699 It is so nice to be back in a small town like the one I came from. 126 00:06:50,622 --> 00:06:51,861 Hildog! 127 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,540 Otis Green, anything on that bomb threat? 128 00:06:55,590 --> 00:06:58,184 We have the bomb-sniffing pig going through the crowd. 129 00:06:58,234 --> 00:07:00,003 If there is a bomb, the pig will find it. 130 00:07:03,838 --> 00:07:07,355 This is why I campaign in small towns like these! 131 00:07:07,555 --> 00:07:13,231 Because it is in towns like South Park that you find the true America! 132 00:07:18,822 --> 00:07:21,180 - Oh my God, she got a scent! - What?! 133 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:23,432 The pig is picking up the smell of nuclear residue. 134 00:07:23,482 --> 00:07:24,898 Terrorists have hidden a bomb! 135 00:07:24,948 --> 00:07:27,718 Oh my God! Where?! Where could they have stashed it?! 136 00:07:27,768 --> 00:07:29,551 Come on, find it. Find! 137 00:07:29,751 --> 00:07:32,638 - My God, they hid it under the stage?! - No wait, look. 138 00:07:32,688 --> 00:07:35,473 How much money do we have to waste on needless spendin' 139 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:38,148 when we should be focusing all our attention on... 140 00:07:38,198 --> 00:07:39,310 Uh... 141 00:07:40,699 --> 00:07:42,906 on the education of all- 142 00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,596 Whoa there, girl. 143 00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:49,124 on the education of all children. 144 00:07:51,129 --> 00:07:52,464 Oh, I declare! 145 00:07:52,664 --> 00:07:54,127 Oh my God. 146 00:07:54,327 --> 00:07:58,551 Do you think they could have hidden a nuclear device up Mrs. Clinton's... 147 00:07:58,764 --> 00:08:01,698 Mr. Thompson, the kid who called in the warning was right! 148 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,917 We uncovered intel that terrorists have obtained a nuclear device, 149 00:08:04,967 --> 00:08:08,510 and that they have most likely hidden it in Mrs. Clinton's... 150 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,150 - well, in her... - In her what? 151 00:08:12,177 --> 00:08:14,147 In her snatch, sir. 152 00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:15,526 What?? 153 00:08:15,623 --> 00:08:17,936 What is goin' on? I wasn't finished. 154 00:08:18,136 --> 00:08:21,186 Security measure, Mrs. Clinton. Probably nothing. 155 00:08:21,522 --> 00:08:22,298 Yes. 156 00:08:22,348 --> 00:08:25,096 Mr. Jeffries, this is Alan Thompson with the CIA. 157 00:08:25,146 --> 00:08:28,770 We have reason to believe that Mrs. Clinton may have a nuclear device 158 00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:30,224 up her snatch. 159 00:08:30,424 --> 00:08:32,171 - A what?! - A snatch. 160 00:08:32,371 --> 00:08:34,510 It's the technical term for vagina. 161 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:37,227 No, I mean what kind of nuclear device?! 162 00:08:37,887 --> 00:08:39,743 Mr. Jeffries, this is Frank Waters. 163 00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:43,193 It's a suitcase nuke, designed to fit in a woman's snizz. 164 00:08:43,332 --> 00:08:44,877 It's called a snuke. 165 00:08:45,132 --> 00:08:46,722 What is goin' on, Brian? 166 00:08:46,772 --> 00:08:50,312 Ms. Clinton, it appears that terrorists have snuck a snuke up your snizz. 167 00:08:50,949 --> 00:08:52,025 Oh my! 168 00:08:52,225 --> 00:08:54,545 What do we do? Can we disable the timer? 169 00:08:54,595 --> 00:08:57,508 It won't have a timer. Snukes are detonated remotely. 170 00:08:57,558 --> 00:09:00,197 Whoever our terrorist is has a detonator with him. 171 00:09:00,247 --> 00:09:03,596 - But then that means... - Yes. If we don't find that detonator, 172 00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:07,091 everyone in the town of South Park is going to die. 173 00:09:07,551 --> 00:09:09,179 For-ever. 174 00:09:15,481 --> 00:09:18,596 - Do we have that phone trace? - The call is going through now, sir. 175 00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,129 - Yeah? - This is CIA head Alan Thompson. 176 00:09:22,179 --> 00:09:24,179 - We spoke before about the- - Yes, Mr. Thompson? 177 00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:27,091 - Well, we've just arrived in your town. - Why? Did you find something? 178 00:09:27,141 --> 00:09:30,710 Yes. There's a suitcase nuke in Ms. Clinton's snizz. 179 00:09:31,528 --> 00:09:33,378 - A snuke? - That's right. 180 00:09:33,432 --> 00:09:35,186 It's controlled by a remote detonator. 181 00:09:35,236 --> 00:09:37,559 We have to locate the terrorist before he sets it off. 182 00:09:37,609 --> 00:09:39,929 I have the address of the house the terrorist moved into. 183 00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:41,374 I'm almost there now; where are you? 184 00:09:41,375 --> 00:09:44,234 We're on the town's main street, right by an ice cream shop. 185 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,277 Oh dude, I'm, I'm right next to you. 186 00:09:47,232 --> 00:09:48,483 Oh, hey. 187 00:09:50,017 --> 00:09:52,157 - Dude we totally got let out of school. - I know. 188 00:09:52,207 --> 00:09:54,168 Something big is going on. Take a look at this. 189 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,889 I did a Google search for "Hillary Clinton Campaign Rally" right? 190 00:09:56,939 --> 00:09:58,441 And one of the links was to YouTube, 191 00:09:58,442 --> 00:10:00,408 where this Russian guy had a bunch of videos. 192 00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:03,158 - Russian? - Yeah, this guy. Vladimir Stolfsky. 193 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:05,683 He had videos on YouTube of every single rally. 194 00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:07,360 - So he's a Hillary Clinton fan. - No. 195 00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:09,801 I cross-referenced his YouTube profile with MySpace, 196 00:10:09,851 --> 00:10:12,282 and according to his blog, he's an old-school Communist. 197 00:10:12,332 --> 00:10:14,742 So what's he doing at every Clinton rally? 198 00:10:14,792 --> 00:10:17,528 Do a WebCrawler search: maybe he has podcasts up somewhere. 199 00:10:17,578 --> 00:10:19,051 Oh that's a good idea. 200 00:10:20,538 --> 00:10:22,956 What is going on?? What have we done?? 201 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,429 They claim they don't know anything about an attack. 202 00:10:25,479 --> 00:10:26,622 Big surprise! 203 00:10:26,672 --> 00:10:30,221 Sir, first pass of the house, we didn't find a snuke detonator anywhere. 204 00:10:30,271 --> 00:10:32,336 Mr. Hakeem, where is your son? 205 00:10:32,749 --> 00:10:35,370 We thought he was at school. He's not at school? 206 00:10:36,956 --> 00:10:38,377 You're doing great, Ms. Clinton. 207 00:10:38,427 --> 00:10:42,801 Do they know how long, Brian? How long before the snuke in my snizz goes off? 208 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,101 They'll find the detonator, Hildog. 209 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,485 We can't wait for them to find the detonator. 210 00:10:47,535 --> 00:10:50,577 If we can get to the bomb, me-maybe we can deactivate it. 211 00:10:50,627 --> 00:10:54,061 Can't somebody go and take a look inside Mrs. Clinton's snizz? 212 00:10:55,359 --> 00:10:57,684 I'm not sending any of my men in there. 213 00:10:58,746 --> 00:11:01,340 Are you almost ready to set off the bomb? 214 00:11:01,390 --> 00:11:04,693 Everything is set. We have the detonator up and running. 215 00:11:08,881 --> 00:11:11,949 Mr. Hakeem, we need to know where your son is! 216 00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,825 I tell you, I do not know. 217 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,216 This is getting us nowhere. If he knows anything, he's not saying. 218 00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:21,801 - Let me have time with him. - What are you going to do? 219 00:11:21,851 --> 00:11:25,024 We have to find that detonator! Let me have time with him! 220 00:11:27,596 --> 00:11:31,006 - You will tell me where your son is! - He should be at school! 221 00:11:38,439 --> 00:11:39,439 Hey! 222 00:11:41,176 --> 00:11:44,032 - Where is the detonator?! - Wuh-what detonator are you ta- 223 00:11:47,241 --> 00:11:50,320 - I can do this aaall day. - I don't know anything about a- 224 00:11:54,427 --> 00:11:56,221 Stop it! Really! 225 00:11:56,421 --> 00:11:58,839 - You can make it stop! - I don't have the- 226 00:12:01,659 --> 00:12:03,559 Are we just gonna let this go on?? 227 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,467 Okay, I got a text of the Russian guy's podcast. 228 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:07,933 It's all a bunch of links to eBay. 229 00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:09,934 You should be able to search his username on eBay 230 00:12:09,935 --> 00:12:11,899 and see what he's been buying and selling. 231 00:12:11,949 --> 00:12:14,755 Ferris, set up over there. Two of you can take that bed area. 232 00:12:14,805 --> 00:12:17,129 - Hey. - Donner, take over that station. 233 00:12:17,993 --> 00:12:18,989 What's going on? 234 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:22,344 This apartment is being absorbed by Homeland Security! 235 00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:24,111 ...Homeland Security? 236 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,778 Look, your little game of goin' over people's heads is over! 237 00:12:26,828 --> 00:12:29,821 You could still work, but from now on you answer to me, you got that?! 238 00:12:29,871 --> 00:12:32,358 - 'Scuse me, who's in charge here?! - I am! 239 00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:34,010 Yeah well not anymore you're not. 240 00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:36,116 This apartment has just been assigned to the FBI. 241 00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:37,877 That's outrageous! On whose orders?! 242 00:12:37,927 --> 00:12:41,444 On order of the Secretary of Defense! You had your shot, now I'm in charge! 243 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,909 Not anymore you're not! 244 00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:46,706 Orders just came down from Central! They want ATF handling this on all fronts! 245 00:12:46,756 --> 00:12:49,007 All right people, from now on you're answering to me! 246 00:12:49,057 --> 00:12:50,757 Not anymore they're not! 247 00:12:50,863 --> 00:12:54,284 Orders from the President: he wants this handled by his staff personally! 248 00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:55,845 Now Nelson is in charge. 249 00:12:55,895 --> 00:12:58,051 Not anymore I'm not! 250 00:13:00,789 --> 00:13:02,605 What are you going to do to my wife?! 251 00:13:02,655 --> 00:13:05,058 Nothing... if you tell me where your son is! 252 00:13:05,108 --> 00:13:07,137 We told you: we don't know. 253 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,758 Do you know what this is?! 254 00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:14,065 This... is apple juice. It gives me super bad farts. 255 00:13:15,575 --> 00:13:17,803 Did he just inject himself with apple juice? 256 00:13:17,853 --> 00:13:20,672 - Where is your son?! - She doesn't know either. 257 00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:26,595 I mean it! Stop! That is disgusting! Where is your mother?! 258 00:13:30,749 --> 00:13:31,894 Answer it! 259 00:13:32,590 --> 00:13:36,059 Hallo? Hallo Bahir. Where are you? 260 00:13:36,861 --> 00:13:39,174 - Who it But-ters? - Butters! 261 00:13:39,374 --> 00:13:41,887 Bahir, one of your classmates is keeping us hostage. 262 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,760 You filthy little rapscallion! 263 00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:48,596 We got him! I know where he is! 264 00:13:48,646 --> 00:13:50,415 All right, where? We'll send our people in. 265 00:13:50,416 --> 00:13:51,798 No no, he's my lead. 266 00:13:51,848 --> 00:13:53,263 You're not going alone. 267 00:13:53,313 --> 00:13:56,438 You blow in there and you risk taking him down without finding the detonator! 268 00:13:56,488 --> 00:13:58,300 I'm going to find out where it is! 269 00:13:59,185 --> 00:14:02,493 All right, people, I'm in charge now and we will find the terrorists. 270 00:14:02,543 --> 00:14:05,694 Jarvis, I want you to check for any terrorist chatter on AOL. 271 00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:09,784 Marley and Greggs, try searching for nuclear devices on AskJeeves.com. 272 00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:12,627 Ask Jeeves? Nobody uses Ask Jeeves! Just Google-search it! 273 00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,327 Are you tellin' me how to do my job? 274 00:14:14,377 --> 00:14:16,729 Yes. There's a Russian guy named Vladimir Stolfsky 275 00:14:16,779 --> 00:14:18,850 who's got search engine hits all over this thing. 276 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,819 Chase, search the name Stolfsky on YouTube 277 00:14:20,869 --> 00:14:22,710 and cross-reference it with JDate! 278 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:23,669 Checking. 279 00:14:23,719 --> 00:14:26,079 Look, these Russian guys all have blogs talking about this 280 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,520 like it's just some big diversion for something much bigger! 281 00:14:28,521 --> 00:14:30,952 Sir, these kids are right. We've just received intel 282 00:14:31,002 --> 00:14:33,883 that Russian terrorists are believed to be responsible for the threat. 283 00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:36,913 - Where's the intel from? - We just read it on Drudge Report. 284 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,465 Look, we already have the guy's blog. 285 00:14:38,466 --> 00:14:40,869 Maybe we can find an address and check it out on MapQuest. 286 00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:43,814 We do this my way! I'm the one in charge! 287 00:14:44,338 --> 00:14:47,666 - ...Not anymore you're not. - Oh, snap. 288 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,560 Whoopee! I captured another one of your pieces, Bahir. 289 00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:56,069 Oh hey Eric. 290 00:14:56,269 --> 00:14:58,166 - Where is the detonator! - The what? 291 00:14:58,216 --> 00:14:59,575 You have exactly five seconds 292 00:14:59,576 --> 00:15:02,367 before I start dropping serious apple juice farts on your face! 293 00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:04,567 - One! - Leave me alone! 294 00:15:04,836 --> 00:15:05,992 Stop! 295 00:15:06,275 --> 00:15:08,023 Hey, I was about to win! 296 00:15:08,223 --> 00:15:10,665 Stop, terrorist, or I will shoot you! 297 00:15:14,310 --> 00:15:16,175 Get in the van! 298 00:15:18,016 --> 00:15:21,060 Uh, that's cool. I'm actually not... playing anymore. 299 00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:23,408 Get in the van! 300 00:15:24,494 --> 00:15:26,458 That's it! We don't have a choice anymore! 301 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:30,522 Somebody is going to have to go in, and try to disarm the snuke manually! 302 00:15:30,572 --> 00:15:32,222 No, it's too dangerous! 303 00:15:32,286 --> 00:15:36,732 That snatch has not seen action in over 30 years! It could be toxic! 304 00:15:36,932 --> 00:15:40,837 I'll do it! I'll check out Ms. Clinton's snizz. 305 00:15:44,718 --> 00:15:47,530 Let me go! Please! I am just a little boy! 306 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,726 You called and warned the government of our plans! 307 00:15:50,776 --> 00:15:54,026 What you don't know is that we are merely mercenaries! 308 00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:58,907 We were paid to set up the snuke so that the real enemy of America could attack! 309 00:15:59,107 --> 00:16:01,257 That's cool. I'm fine with Muslims invading. 310 00:16:01,307 --> 00:16:04,800 Do you really think Muslims are behind this terrorist threat?! 311 00:16:05,827 --> 00:16:07,574 Uhh yes, of course? 312 00:16:07,774 --> 00:16:11,074 America had other enemies before the Muslims, you know. 313 00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:13,694 Who is America's oldest enemy? 314 00:16:14,203 --> 00:16:16,364 - The Russians? - Before that. 315 00:16:16,824 --> 00:16:19,275 - The Germans? - Before that! 316 00:16:19,998 --> 00:16:22,348 - The Germans again? - Before that!! 317 00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:25,687 I am talking about the oldest threat to America! 318 00:16:25,887 --> 00:16:28,755 The greatest enemy America has ever known! 319 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:31,231 You can't possible mean...? 320 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,689 Two hundred years we've waited. Finally. 321 00:16:38,889 --> 00:16:41,910 We will get those traitors to the Crown! 322 00:16:43,975 --> 00:16:45,461 Yes, Your Majesty? 323 00:16:45,863 --> 00:16:49,013 The Russians are ready to set off the diversion. 324 00:16:49,378 --> 00:16:52,694 - Full sail. - Full sail, Your Majesty! 325 00:17:03,515 --> 00:17:04,999 All right, Brian, this is it. 326 00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:08,294 Get in there and see if you can disarm the snuke in Ms. Clinton's snatch. 327 00:17:11,244 --> 00:17:14,230 All right. I'm nearing her snizz now. 328 00:17:15,093 --> 00:17:16,424 God help him. 329 00:17:16,474 --> 00:17:20,415 - What do you see, Brian? - It's dark... cold... 330 00:17:20,615 --> 00:17:23,232 You're doing fine, Brian. Get as close as you can... 331 00:17:23,282 --> 00:17:25,835 You have to look inside the snizz. 332 00:17:27,139 --> 00:17:30,520 Uh, uh, all right, I'm,looking. 333 00:17:31,606 --> 00:17:34,296 Yes, I see... I see the device! 334 00:17:36,233 --> 00:17:38,224 You're doin' great, Brian. Hang in there. 335 00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,212 There's um, metal housing... 336 00:17:40,412 --> 00:17:43,738 some kind of three-pronged triggering mechanism that... 337 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:48,699 Wait there's... there's something else here! There's something... 338 00:17:48,899 --> 00:17:49,999 Say again, Brian. 339 00:17:50,049 --> 00:17:53,261 There's something perched on the snuke's coil... 340 00:17:53,461 --> 00:17:55,383 Oh God, it's looking at me! 341 00:17:55,583 --> 00:17:56,925 Brian, get out of there!! 342 00:17:56,975 --> 00:18:02,210 Wha... what are you?! I have no qualm with you! Stay back! 343 00:18:02,410 --> 00:18:04,150 Stay back I- agh! Aaagh! 344 00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,165 Brian?? Brian, what's happening?? 345 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:10,816 It's... eating my head! It's eating my head! 346 00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:14,980 Hoh my! 347 00:18:16,258 --> 00:18:17,390 I got it! I got it! 348 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,058 According to PayPal, the Russian guys are just hired mercenaries 349 00:18:20,059 --> 00:18:22,730 who had ads up on Craig's List and got paid through eBay 350 00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:24,544 so that person could be attacked by... 351 00:18:24,594 --> 00:18:25,565 the British! 352 00:18:25,615 --> 00:18:28,233 - The British? - Loyalist Red Coats! 353 00:18:28,587 --> 00:18:30,983 Sir, I found the Russian's eHarmony account! 354 00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:32,824 It does list an address in South Park! 355 00:18:32,874 --> 00:18:35,364 - All right! MapQuest the address! - I'll use Google Maps. 356 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:37,427 - It has live traffic. - Good thinking. 357 00:18:37,477 --> 00:18:40,792 Sir, we have the terrorists' location. IM'ing you now. 358 00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:43,658 It was good knowing you, comrade. 359 00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:45,984 Please. Think about what you are doing. 360 00:18:46,034 --> 00:18:48,312 The British are just using you; you're going to die. 361 00:18:48,362 --> 00:18:50,958 Yes, but we will be rich. 362 00:18:51,158 --> 00:18:53,008 Left flank, prig prang and clear! 363 00:18:53,058 --> 00:18:55,499 Go go go go! 364 00:18:56,621 --> 00:18:58,920 The game is over! Get down on the ground! 365 00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:00,431 How did they find us? 366 00:19:00,481 --> 00:19:04,312 We know about everything! Your diversion to help the Red Coats is over! 367 00:19:04,362 --> 00:19:09,447 It doesn't matter. The detonator is on a timer. You are too late! 368 00:19:09,930 --> 00:19:12,620 In three minutes! 369 00:19:16,951 --> 00:19:18,368 What the hell?! 370 00:19:18,568 --> 00:19:21,494 - The power went out! - Well so then what time is it? 371 00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,097 Oh crap. 372 00:19:26,297 --> 00:19:27,653 Take 'em down! 373 00:19:31,582 --> 00:19:35,252 No! I don't want to die without being paid! 374 00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:43,133 The detonator is secured, general. You are cleared to proceed. 375 00:19:50,921 --> 00:19:53,421 The Rebel Americans know of our attack?! 376 00:19:53,494 --> 00:19:55,948 - How? - Fire at will! 377 00:20:06,432 --> 00:20:07,432 Yes? 378 00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:10,243 Your Majesty, the attack has failed. 379 00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:14,444 We were... unable to end the American Revolution. 380 00:20:15,428 --> 00:20:16,920 I see. 381 00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:26,180 Well, looks like we saved our country from British rule once again. 382 00:20:26,230 --> 00:20:29,263 Yeah. It just proves we need to learn not to profile one race of people. 383 00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:32,115 Because, actually, most of the world hates us. 384 00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:35,140 Well Bahir, I was thinking that maybe I own you an apology. 385 00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:35,975 Really? 386 00:20:36,025 --> 00:20:38,414 Yes, but then I realized that, technically, I don't. 387 00:20:38,464 --> 00:20:41,499 Because by being suspicious of you I saved your life and everyone else's. 388 00:20:41,549 --> 00:20:44,599 So really, you own me an apology. But that's cool. 389 00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:46,999 ...You didn't save everyone, I did! 390 00:20:47,049 --> 00:20:49,282 You were just out harassing Muslims! 391 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,178 But if I hadn't called you in the first place to check out the Muslim, 392 00:20:52,228 --> 00:20:54,653 you would have just stayed in bed sick all day, right? 393 00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:55,463 ...Maybe. 394 00:20:55,513 --> 00:20:58,358 Maybe? If I hadn't called you, you wouldn't have been on your computer 395 00:20:58,359 --> 00:20:59,636 checking out the Clinton rally. 396 00:20:59,637 --> 00:21:02,680 That means my intolerance of Muslims saved America. 397 00:21:02,730 --> 00:21:04,245 ...That is so missing the point. 398 00:21:04,295 --> 00:21:07,598 Me being a bigot stopped a nuclear bomb from going off, yes or no?! 399 00:21:07,648 --> 00:21:09,563 The-that's not the right way to look at it, I- 400 00:21:09,564 --> 00:21:10,604 Yes or no, Kyle?! 401 00:21:10,654 --> 00:21:13,072 No! ...Not... not like you're saying. 402 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,054 But that's all I'm saying: today, bigotry and racism saved the day. 403 00:21:16,104 --> 00:21:17,458 Bahir, you get this, right? 404 00:21:17,508 --> 00:21:20,185 Bahir! Get away from that disgusting child! 405 00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:22,108 Get back home and start packing your things! 406 00:21:22,158 --> 00:21:24,542 We are leaving this whole intolerant country! 407 00:21:29,946 --> 00:21:30,951 Okay. 408 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:33,344 Who got rid of the Muslims, huh? 409 00:21:33,394 --> 00:21:36,237 That was all me. Simple thank you will suffice. 410 00:21:37,181 --> 00:21:39,981 Subtitles: Poukkid, Spirit Transcript: South Park Scriptorium www.southparknews.net 31481

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.