All language subtitles for L.A. Law S02E13 Beauty and Obese

Previously on L .A. Law.

What's going on with the United States
of America versus Roxanne Mellman's own

true love?

She's under subpoena. If she agrees to
testify against Markham, give up

profits she made, your attorney's
willing to let it go at that.

With all due respect to the court, Your
Honor, I refuse to answer.

Take the witness into custody.

You're a terrific litigator, which is
exactly what I need to complement my

strengths. I just, I don't know what to
think. They, you'll think very seriously

about it. I guess what I am trying to
say is I'm leaving.

I want to tell you something about Jimmy
Markham that you obviously don't know.

I'm his girlfriend.

Oh, my God.

Miss Millman, does your presence here
suggest that you're now ready to

the contempt citation against you and
testify?

Yes, I am.

Oh, nice watch.

Can I have it? What?

Pick up time.

Do it.

With us this morning are Brad Sanford,
Rosalie Baskin, and Jonathan Rollins,

recently cited in Southland Magazine as
the hottest young lawyers in Los

Angeles. Good morning, and welcome.

Good morning. Hi. Looking good,
Jonathan. Let's start with you. Great

What's the consequence of being
acknowledged like this? More clients,

cases. The biggest consequence is that
the partners are beginning to remember

name.

My firm has over 300 lawyers, and it's
an accomplishment just to be recognized

in your own office.

And, Brad, your firm has over 400
lawyers, right?

425. The firms are definitely getting
bigger in L .A., either by growth or

merger. That attorney.

How about you, Jonathan?

According to the article, you were
pursued by every Wall Street firm in New

and all the big boys in L .A., and you
chose to go with...

Teeny tiny Mackenzie Brackman. Teeny
tiny. I like to think of us more as a

boutique than as teeny tiny. Boutique.
Okay, that's fair.

But still, why Mackenzie Brackman?

I don't know.

Good money?

Seriously. No. Seriously. With good
people. What makes it different from the

bigger firms? I'm not sure. Basically, a
law firm's a law firm.

You know, we've all got a paternalistic
senior partner.

You've got the administrative partner
who counts every paper clip.

Ours makes you sign up for soft drinks.

A nebbishy tax guy.

A couple moles in the library. Don't
take it personally. A lecherous divorce

lawyer.

You've got your basic civil rights
fanatic.

A research hound.

A couple crusading liberals. A woman's
liver.

And a little bit of color.

For sure.

So am I the liberal or the liberal?

Nebbishy, really? What about your peers?

Aren't they a little bit jealous of all
the attention you've been getting?

I've sensed some coolness, Gina, but I
think they're mature enough to accept my

status. I think they like my fearless
style.

And your modesty.

Truthfully, the lawyers of McKenzie
Brackman have been very supportive.

I bet they're watching this right now,
cheering me on.

People, if we could get started, do it.

I see you have a meeting scheduled with
the Lundstrom children.

Yeah, they're a little upset.

Mom cut them out of the will and left
everything to a TV evangelist.

Yes, well, since it's a multi -million
dollar estate, I urge your diligence.

Michael. Stetler versus Goodwin,
Proctor, and Englander. The jury's

We're ready to go.

Opposing counsel's coming in this
morning to make their final offer.

Just between us?

I would have fired somebody that fat
myself.

I'm surprised they hired her in the
first place.

She happens to be one of the most
competent attorneys I have ever met, and

size of her body is her business and no
one else's. Thank God.

Moving on. Miss Kelsey, what's this
meeting with General Scanning, Inc.? A

client, Laser Technology.

They want to trademark some of their
special effects.

Holograms or something.

Can you get a trademark on a special
effect?

You mean transparent 3D imagery?

I read.

Anyway, I will know more about it as
soon as I find out exactly what it is

do. Morning.

Here's the superstar.

Yeah, thanks, Jonathan.

Lecherous? Hey, I didn't mean you.

Nebushy?

I was talking in generalities. Yeah,
right.

Hey, come on.

Where's your sense of humor?

It's buried beneath the towel
interrogatories, which I want finished

tomorrow morning, Mr. Hotshot.

Tomorrow? I'll be up all night.

You can do it. For the good of the
boutique.

This is retaliatory.

If it'll make you feel any better, we'll
all be home in front of our

televisions, cheering you on.

We're adjourned.

Do it.

Next week on the Fitzsimmons matter?

Yeah. And he tells me the police caught
you sick of me.

The yuppie bandit is no longer at large.

They caught him trying to fence the
Rolex.

Stuart and I ID'd him last night. Well,
what about the diamond ring?

Gone forever. But at least we got our
precious watch back.

Mike, Stetler's here to see you.

Oh, be sure and tell me when Trish Jeter
gets here. I'll do it.

So, you all set?

I'm ready.

Any word from the other side?

Not yet.

Come on in.

Michael.

I noticed that the dietician is not on
our witness list. Well, the fact that

tried to lose the weight isn't really
relevant.

Not legally, maybe, but I'll be much
more sympathetic to the jury if they

made the effort.

That's true.

Now, we should establish that my parents
were heavy and that this is probably

genetic, mitigating circumstances, my
boy. Lynn, I got it covered.

Sorry. It's just that I know I'll feel
much less blameworthy if we can prove

that my condition is a product of
metabolism and not appetite.

Yeah? Michael John Trasciuta is here to
see you.

Uh, I'll be ready in a minute.

Should I go or stay?

Lynn, let me take a whack at this alone.

Not a penny under 135, Counselor. All
right.

And nothing structured.

Miss Dettler?

Mr. Trasciutta.

Well, John, what's the good word?

Fifty?

Nope. It's going to take 150.

Ah, come on, Michael. You can't be
serious.

Well, this was discrimination. Oh, wait.

You want to show me the constitutional
amendment for fat people?

It was bad faith termination, John.

They fired her for being overweight when
she weighed exactly the same as the day

that they hired her. Michael, you've got
an impossible case here.

You're never going to show bad faith.
You can't point to one single incident

where her weight impacted on her
performance.

Look, I don't want to try this one.

We both know I'll have to go after her
and it's not going to be pretty.

Please let's make it go away so nobody
gets hurt.

Fine.

But the going away price is $150.

But for you,

$145 ,000.

You're going to make me go in there and
be the big bad wolf, aren't you?

Sure you don't want one?

I mean, doesn't it seem strange to you,
leaving everything to a TV evangelist

named Billy Bob Thomas?

You see, Gail, it's her money.

She's got that right.

What about our rights?

It's family money. We're her family.

Look, we were thinking.

What about the possibility of maybe
getting her declared incompetent? Whoa!

I may be the family lawyer, but I'm your
mother's lawyer first.

If you guys want to become adversarial
about this, I'm going to advise you to

seek independent counsel.

Look, we don't want to hire some shark
to attack her, but come on, we're

about $30 million she's prepared to
throw away on some two -bit preacher

three first names.

Her health is failing as it is.

We'd like to work this out without
hurting her. Well, that's very

But if you go into court challenging her
sanity, I guarantee you're going to

hurt her a lot. And what about the hurt
she's always inflicted on us?

She's always used the money as a club.

What if you talk to her?

She trusts you. You don't think you
ought to talk to her yourselves?

We've tried.

It always ends up with her giving us the
silent treatment.

I'll see what I can do, okay?

Come in.

Arnie.

There's a mistake in my paycheck.

It's $100 more than it's supposed to be.

My firm voted you a raise.

A raise?

A week ago they were going to fire me.

It's out of your pocket, isn't it?
What's the difference where it comes

Thank you, Arnie.

For this.

For sticking by me.

For not clubbing me on the head with I
told you so's about to me.

Rox, you're not the first person to fall
in love and make a mistake.

I guess I'd feel better about myself if
it was just love.

But I wasn't.

I was seduced by the money all around
me.

Every day I see people with great
clothes, great cars, great houses.

It gets to me sometimes.

There's nothing wrong with wanting the
same thing as everyone else rocks.

I know I know I can want them the
difference is I

Was stealing them Anyway, I just want
you to know

I'm pretty glad you're in my corner

This is John Vincent of Vincent
Construction.

So?

So, what does he want from us?

He wants us to represent his nephew in a
criminal manner. You mean he wants me

to represent him? You're the litigator,
not me.

Charlie, John Vincent is reputed to be
one of the most powerful figures in

organized crime in the western United
States.

I think the key word there is reputed.

If we start turning away clients because
of that sort of vicious gossip... Hey,

I was the DA, remember?

This guy has been linked to
racketeering, prostitution, drugs,

I don't think we want to start
representing mobsters.

Have you ever been convicted of a crime?

Not to my knowledge.

Has he ever been charged?

No. Have you ever even met the man?

No.

Grace, we're a law firm. We're supposed
to be looking for clients.

Don't you think a face -to -face meeting
is called for here before you decide to

turn down a client?

who could conceivably funnel an enormous
volume of legal work our way.

All right.

I'll meet with him.

Attagirl. I'll set it up.

If delays the show, Mr.

Phyllis.

There's your ghost.

There's your ghost.

How did those interrogatories come in?

That's funny.

That's real funny. Thank you all very
much. You're welcome.

I think he took it very well. Get back
to the ship.

I'm told you didn't appreciate what
happened last night.

Not true.

I think I fully appreciated what
happened last night.

Everyone acting in concert to embarrass
me.

Well, you know, Jonathan, the peacock
that struts around with his feathers out

makes for an easy target.

I didn't do anything to cause that kind
of resentment, Leland.

If you ask me, the resentment was
waiting for me the first day I walked

these doors.

You didn't do anything.

Well, you...

Pranced around telling everyone you were
making more money?

You defied my direct instructions
several times.

You connived to steal a client from
Stewart. You set off a smoke bomb in a

deposition, and now you mock us on
television. That's doing something,

If I tend to be aggressive, it's because
as a black man, I feel I have to prove

myself.

People here look at me and see
affirmative action. Nobody's going to

Leland, if they think I'm just part of
an equal opportunity program.

We accepted you the day we hired you,
and I think you know that. And I suppose

last night's cruel joke was just a way
of saying, welcome to the club.

Actually, it was a lot more than that.

It was a way of knocking you down a peg.

You need our help, Jonathan, and our
friendship.

But you've been too arrogant and too
self -important to accept it.

And that has nothing to do with color,
my friend.

That joke last night served two
purposes.

To let you know how angry we were.

And to invite you to share a laugh with
everybody.

At your own expense.

And I think you missed the point.

On both counts.

Who I leave my money to is not your
concern, Stuart.

Your job is to carry out my wishes, not
to shape them.

All I'm trying to do is locate exactly
what it is your wishes are.

Well, I told you.

Every penny to the reverend. Am I being
ambiguous?

Yeah. Yeah. As a matter of fact, you're
being ambiguous.

That hostile tone in your voice is more
compatible with an act of vengeance than

it is with charity.

It seems to me you're much more
interested in taking away than you are

to. Well, you're flat out wrong.

Am I?

I've known you a long time, Mrs.
Lundstrom.

You've been involved with the homeless,
environmental groups, a whole long list

of charities, any one of which you could
have given your money to, and yet you

chose to give it to the Reverend Billy
Bob Thomas, a diamond -studded cable TV

preacher. Why?

I have my reasons.

I think I know what they are.

If you had chosen any one of these
worthy charities, you would run the risk

not hurting your children enough.

But by choosing this pulpit thumper,
then they really get the message, don't

they? What message would they get if I
left them everything?

That I'm grateful they never come to see
me?

That I enjoy eating alone every Sunday?

That I relish the hollow echo of an
empty hospital room when I'm sick?

They come a few times a year, Christmas
and Thanksgiving.

with the word obligation written all
over their faces.

Well, they're grown up.

They have their own lives to lead.

I'm still their mother.

There's still a few things I can do to
punish them.

Look, obviously you can give your money
to anybody you want.

I just think that this way, the very
last testament of Edith Lundstrom is an

of bitterness. I don't think that's
right.

What you've written here is an ending,
an ending to a relationship that's not

over yet.

I would like your permission to tear
this thing up.

Grace?

John Vincent, Grace Van Owen. A genuine
pleasure, Ms. Van Owen. Thank you.

Please have a seat.

I've been an admirer of yours for some
time. You're a fine attorney.

Thank you.

Tough -minded, aggressive, but
principled. It's qualities I admire.

You're embarrassing me, Mr. Vincent.

My father was Mr. Vincent. I'm John.

All right, John.

Charlie tells me that you're seeking
representation for your nephew.

Yes, Tommy the Terrible. I brought you
copies of the police report, the filing,

attorney's motions.

What's wrong with your nephew's current
representation?

Nothing. He's a fine young man.

But I felt we needed someone who really
knows her way around the system.

To be perfectly honest about it, Tommy's
a hothead. He's been in and out of

trouble with the law since he was a
teenager.

I took him into the construction
business as a favor to my sister, and

a real project. But this murder charge,
it's totally without foundation.

He's got quite a record.

Assault, assault with intent, concealed
weapon. Look, Ms. Van Owen, if I can be

blunt,

I know what you're thinking.

The apple doesn't fall far from the
tree.

But the fact is, construction is a tough
business.

If you achieve the kind of success I
have, you inevitably become the object

lot of nasty rumors.

I can't do anything about that.

But I am not a crook.

I'm a legitimate businessman with a
serious family problem I'm trying to

out with.

I need help, and since Charlie and I are
longtime friends, I naturally came to

him.

May I count on you?

Let me review the case, make some calls,
and I'll let you know.

Bless you.

We're going to have some lunch, Grace.
You want to join us?

No, I think I'll get on this right away.

Thanks, though.

John. Thank you again.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Okay.

He called me into his office and told me
I had three months to find other

employment. Did he tell you why you were
being fired?

Obesity. He said that my appearance was
not commensurate with the firm's

profile. And had you had any indication
during the four previous years that your

performance was unacceptable?

I ranked second in billable hours and
first in productivity.

I was led to believe I was one of the
firm's best associates.

Then Mr. Langella comes in, takes over
as managing partner, and suddenly tells

me my potential is limited.

Did he specify the nature of these
limitations?

He told me I could not try cases since
juries would not accept me.

I used to interview candidates for jobs.

He told me I would have to stop that
because the applicants found me...

The word he used was repulsive.

Basically, he said that the world had a
negative attitude towards fat people,

and he did not want that feeling running
to the firm.

Thank you, Ms. Dettler.

Your witness.

Even before Mr. Langella took over as
managing partner, you were never allowed

to try cases, were you? I never wanted
to try cases. Because you knew, as they

did, that the way you looked might
alienate a jury, correct?

That is not correct. I was hired as a
corporate attorney, not a litigator. It

was not my function to appear in court.

I see, but you said one of your
functions was to interview applicants

right?

Tell me, what did you look for in a
candidate?

Intelligence, communicative skills.

Appearance?

Not solely. Not solely, but no matter
how intelligent, you wouldn't hire

if their appearance was offensive, would
you? I'm not offensive, sir. I didn't

ask you that. I asked you whether or not
you would hire someone whose appearance

offended you.

Probably not.

So there's nothing improper about
discharging someone for the way he or

looks, is there? Your client was guilty
of bad faith counseling. Thank you for

your legal conclusions, Ms. Stetler, but
for now, just answer my questions.

How many other firms have you yourself
interviewed with since your discharge?

I'm not sure.

Several. Any offers of employment?

No. What's the problem? Lack of
intelligence or communicative skills?

Objection. Do you make room for the
possibility, Miss Stetler, that these

firms fail to consider you because of
your obesity?

It's possible. And would these other
firms then also be guilty of bad faith?

Objection. Withdrawn.

Miss Stetler, could you describe for the
court your social life? I object.

This line of questioning... Your Honor,
she's claiming that the conduct of my

client deviated from standards of human
decency.

And I intend to show that the
assumptions made by my client with

witness and her obesity are no different
than judgments made every single day

about her in all walks of life.

I'm going to give you very little
latitude here, Counselor.

Ever been married, Miss Stetler?

No.

Ever been personally involved with a
man? Your Honor. Isn't it true you've

even been asked out on a date?

Ridiculous. I agree. Mr. Trasciuta, I...
I apologize, Your Honor, and Ms.

Stetler, I apologize to you, but isn't
it true for your personal life, your

professional life, your entire life,
people have readily dismissed you simply

because you are fat?

The fact that everyone does it does not
excuse it.

No, it doesn't.

But if it's a reality...

How can you blame my client for
recognizing it?

Nothing further.

You're okay?

Fine.

In here, sir.

I'm sorry, Ben. I should have cut those
questions off.

You couldn't.

People get disgusted when they look at
me. It's completely relevant.

Nobody gets disgusted.

I see you, Michael.

With all this fat, you think the
Almighty could have at least given me

skin?

No matter how often you hear it, it
still hurts.

Come on, Lynn.

That was just a lawyer in there doing
what he had to do to win a case, and you

know it. Yep.

You know what else?

He didn't even have to do his homework
on this one. All he had to do was just

see me right up there on that stand. He
knew instantly I was never invited to my

high school prom.

You think he needed an investigator to
find out I never got any marriage

proposals?

Well, as far as I know, marriage
proposals are not very good yardsticks

measuring self -worth.

Nice theory.

You want to know the reality?

When my friends used to go to dances and
cheerlead a practice, I went to the

library.

And I studied and I studied and I
studied because I was damn determined I

going to be the best lawyer that anybody
could be.

And what the hell did it get me?

fired for not looking like a
cheerleader.

I don't want to be fat, damn it.

It shouldn't matter.

Boy, does it always have to matter.

Stuart Markowitz.

Barry Braunstein with Jacob and Epstein.
Hi.

Reasonable doubt for a reasonable fee.
That sings, don't it? No slogan for our

criminal practice. Here, check out our
personal injury logo.

Torts are us.

I like that.

Mr. Markowitz, do you know an Edith
Lundstrom? Yeah, why?

Well, she called us to her house this
morning to execute a new will.

And I mean a monster.

She went to Jacob and Epstein?

They've executed over 400 ,000 wills
nationwide. Pal, how many have you done?

Well, I'm sure your work is excellent.

Well, you better hope so.

The woman left every cent to you.

What? 30 million fat ones, along with
the house and a stepped -up basis.

Is this a gag? No gag.

It's all bequeathed to you with the
knowledge that you'll do the right thing

with it. See?

I'm going to get her on the phone and
clear this up right away. That's going

be difficult, Mr. Markowitz. You see,
Mrs.

Lundstrom stroked out late this
afternoon.

Unbelievable man.

The children already got themselves a
new attorney.

And the reverend's going to be nut cake.

Stuart, can we talk?

I'd love to talk, Ann, but I've got a
room full of lawyers out there waiting

chop me up into little pieces, so I've
got to go. Ann, please, we've been over

this already.

But, Stuart, $30 million.

We'd be rich.

We're already rich.

But do you have any idea what we could
do with that kind of money, Stuart?

I know exactly what to do with it.

I'm going to give it to her children.

Are you crazy? They wouldn't know how to
handle it.

And for the last time, it's not my
money. The will says it is. Fine. Then

want to turn around and give it to her
children, that's my business.

Uh -uh.

Community property, bub. It's my
business, too. Oh!

Come on. Stuart, I'm not talking about
keeping the money for us. We'll start a

charitable trust. There we go again.
Don't you see what an opportunity this

Stuart? I can quit massing billable
hours at Mackenzie Brackman and actually

concentrate on making the world a better
place.

With a little prudent investing.

Stuart, how many people get the chance
to do something good, something

meaningful? Think about it, Stuart.

I want to think about it.

Then don't.

For once in your life, stop
contemplating your navel and just take

okay? For once in your life, stop
pushing me, okay?

And here's Stuart Markowitz, our heir
apparent.

Stuart, this is Bob Sylvia, the new
attorney for the Lundstrom children. And

Richard Boggs, the attorney for the
Reverend Billy Bob Thomas.

I brought with me Douglas Brackman, who
will be serving as my attorney. And this

is Aunt Kelsey, who is my wife.

Splendid. Great.

Now, folks, you've all got copies of the
will, and since I anticipate a couple

of problems and problems... This is no
will. It's garbage. And you, sir, are a

blatant thief.

What? Hey!

This is undue influence.

I take exception to that, sir. State bar
is taking exception to I reported you.

On what grounds?

You go to the home of an ailing elderly
woman.

You personally tear up the existing
will, a will that left you nothing. Then

suddenly there's a new one leaving you
everything.

And how does that concern you?

The will he tore up left nothing to the
children. It all went to my client,

Reverend Billy Bob.

Bringing me to scam number two. Now,
that's out of line.

Mr. Sylvia, gentlemen, please. I agree
what he did was despicable. He did

nothing despicable. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How about this? I don't want the money.

Just declare the will void and split it
up any way you want. Stewart.

Absolutely not. That will is valid, and
I have fiduciary duty to give it full

force and effect.

Oh, for God's sake. Just a second here.

This document leaves everything to
Stewart for, I quote, his sound counsel.

Advice and friendship. That's right.
Meaning?

People.

People, people.

If this money was left to Mr.

Markowitz as compensation for counsel he
rendered in his capacity as a partner

of Mackenzie Brackman...

This money belongs to the firm.

It's a theory. Don't worry about the
firm. If the money goes to Stewart,

Mackenzie Brackman will become the
executor of a $30 million trust. This

will see plenty. But it's not going to
Stewart. She died intestate, and it's

going to the children. She didn't die
intestate.

The old will is revoked.

No matter what. Mr.

Brownstein is right.

The will is binding.

You're his partner, an extension of his
crookhood. I happen to be a judge, sir.

My honesty is a given. I don't care if
you're on the Supreme Court. You're not

stealing our $30 million.

Get out of my conference room. I don't
want the money. Don't you dare walk out

of here.

I'll walk out of any place I want to
walk out of here. I'll see you all in

court. Don't you dare walk out of here.

I'll ram an injunction right through
your kidneys. Oh, really?

Yeah. Come on. Come on. Get up. Come on.
Get off of me. Order.

Order.

Order. Order.

Hello, Charlie.

So?

Vincent kept calling me last night.
What's the verdict?

I'm not going to take this case.

I can't.

Grace, damn it, come on. Wait a minute.
I did some checking on this guy, and

he's definitely not legitimate.

Don't do this to me, Grace.

Why do you think I brought you in as a
partner?

As I recall, because among other things,
you thought I had integrity.

And no matter how charming this man is,
I don't think this is the kind of case

that's in our best interest. You can
generate hundreds of thousands of

in fees. That is definitely in our best
interest. The man's a gangster. You

don't know that.

I won't do it.

Fine.

You call him and tell him.

I'm sure as hell not going to do it.

Fine.

You did absolutely the right thing.

You don't think I'm being naive? I mean,
if I'm going to be in front of

practice, I have to be ready to take
cases I don't like.

It's not a case, Grace.

We're talking about a direction here. If
you become a mob lawyer, then you're a

mob lawyer.

Well, I'm seeing him tomorrow night, and
I will tell him no.

And I suspect I will be without a job.
Hey, there are going to be plenty of

other jobs.

You want to come work for us?

As a full partner?

No way. You'd be under me.

Oh, that sounds even better.

I gotta get in there.

Go get him, Counselor.

Ruff.

See you later.

Ruff. Ruff.

What I'm saying is for an attorney at
law, performance and appearance are not

mutually exclusive.

How's that?

Well, a lawyer's got to be more than
someone who just interprets statutes.

You've got to be able to cultivate
clients, impress at meetings, wine and

colleagues.

When somebody comes into the office,
they want to see a consummate

Somebody who...

It gives them a sense of confidence.

And Miss Sturtley didn't do this?

She's a very capable practitioner, and I
don't mean to suggest otherwise.

But the reality is, people look at her
and say, gee, if she can't take care of

herself, how is she going to take care
of me?

They think her personal appearance is a
reflection of her professional

competence. Do you think that's a fair
assumption?

It's totally unfounded.

If I could dissolve that mindset with a
wave of my hand and keep her on, I'd do

so. But I can't.

And if it's hurting the firm, I've got
to deal with it.

Thank you, Mr. Langella.

Nothing further.

So you fired her because people couldn't
accept the fat lawyer.

I'm the managing partner, counselor.
I've got to be cognizant of public

perception. Right, so I guess then that
if the public didn't want a black

attorney, you would hire and fire on the
basis of race, right? Wrong.

I'd never endorsed that kind of
prejudice.

Oh, so you do endorse the prejudice
against fat people.

This is different.

Webster's dictionary defines prejudice
as a preconceived opinion lacking a just

foundation. Now, isn't that exactly how
you just described the public's attitude

toward the overweight?

Yes, but in this case... So, by firing
her, you, in your own words, endorsed

that bigotry, didn't you? I never said I
agreed with the prejudice, Mr. Cusack.

But I've got a law firm to run, and I've
got to recognize that it's out there.

Very good, Mr.

Langella. You recognized it. You acted
upon it.

And by so doing, you perpetuate it.

Objection. Gentlemen, don't blame me for
public opinion. I blame you more.

The public's opinion is based on
ignorance. You know her. You know she's

attorney, and yet you fired her anyway,
didn't you? He's beating up the witness.

He deserves to get beat up. Mr.

Cusack. Tell us, Mr. Langella, how
firing my client failed to promote that

bigotry that you recognize.

Nothing further.

I just don't think it's a great idea.

It's nothing against you, Michael.
You've been fantastic.

I just thought if I represent myself
during the closing argument, I have a

better chance of convincing the jury
that I belong in a courtroom.

And I also thought, what better way to
convince myself?

But this whole trial is going to turn on
the summations. You've never done this

before. And what better place for me to
start?

I figure I'll either be great or fall
flat on my face.

Either way, I win.

File my appearance and notify the
opposing counsel.

I'm an attorney.

And I'm going to represent myself.

All right.

It's your trial.

Let's get started.

Where is everyone?

Michael's in court and Victor's got a
deposition.

Where's Jonathan? I don't know, but I'm
not waiting.

Stuart, regarding the disposition of the
Lundstrom estate, a second meeting of

the attorneys has been scheduled for
this afternoon.

Oh, God, not again. Each lawyer will
present a proposal and will review

What are you going to do, Stuart? I
don't know, Ann.

Jonathan's on PB again.

What? Oh, no.

No, no, Gina, I'm not kidding. That's
the way they are. It sounds as if

incompetent. No, not incompetent, just
amusing.

We've got one partner.

I won't mention names.

It's Brackman, who keeps having affairs.

He even slept with his female bailiff
when he was a small claims judge.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Now, Armour Becker beds down
with 90 % of his clients.

Son of a... He's fired. ...partners
sleeping with each other. Come on.

They are married. I hear it was a
shotgun. That bastard.

But what really gets me is that none of
them, none of them can tell the

difference between a live broadcast and
a videotaped gag.

What? I know. I got you.

I don't believe this.

Did get you, didn't I?

Thanks for the help, Roxy.

Go on, Douglas.

Let's get started.

If the defendant's theory is true, it
doesn't matter what I say here, because

you will have instantly concluded the
first moment that you saw me that I was

less equal by mere virtue of my weight.

If you subscribe to that notion, ladies
and gentlemen, you're wrong.

And if the whole world agrees with you,
then damn it.

The whole world is wrong.

Because prejudice cannot be validated by
unanimous consent.

It can only be made more dangerous.

I do not accept the defendant's premise
that a person's physique is a criteria

for respect or friendship.

And I do not accept their assertion that
people regard physical appearance as an

indication of intellectual ability.

And I most certainly do not accept their
assumption that this jury will forgive

those that do.

The evidence before you is
uncontroverted.

I am an able...

competent attorney who was fired from
her job because of their belief that the

world hates fat people that's

discrimination and like it or not you
cannot possibly find for the defendant

unless you are prepared right now to
condone it and even if you are don't

for one second this bigotry has
prevailed

Because the next time I am confronted by
this prejudice, and there will be a

next time, I'll be back.

And I'll come back again and again and
again. And sooner or later, I'll come

across a jury who will not tolerate this
blindness.

I hope that time is now.

But if it's not...

The fight's not over, I promise.

This fat lady ain't singing yet.

Let's take a minute to review the
different proposals. I don't need a

They all stink.

And this reverend is as crooked as a...
Well, he should be getting it all. That

was a testamentary intent.

Oh, no, you don't. I don't give a damn
what you think the testamentary intent

was. This will is not valid. Don't start
that again. We drafted that document,

and I can categorically say... You're a
national chain of roadside sleaze pits.

What kind of law firm has a jingle? All
right, everybody be quiet. And you,

you're the reason. I'd appreciate it,
sir, if I might be allowed to speak.

Thank you.

First of all, you can file those
proposals. They're meaningless the will

valid The money is rightfully mine and
here's what I'm gonna do with it The

three lawyers present will each receive
$8 ,000 for legal services rendered more

than they deserve for their embarrassing
conduct The children Peter and Gail

will each receive three million dollars
totally unacceptable extremely

acceptable. Mr. Sylvia, and I'm gonna
tell you why If you prove undue

you not only negate her free intent to
make a new will, you eliminate her

capacity to revoke the old one.

And since California courts loathe
intestacy, your clients get nothing and

the money goes to Billy Bob. Hear, hear.

As for the good reverend, I'm giving $3
million in his name to the Cystic

Fibrosis Association.

Is that it?

Ain't nothing to him?

Yeah. He gets the credit.

And if he's lucky, a building named
after him.

That's not enough. I'll fight it. No,
you won't.

Because an examination of Mrs.
Lundstrom's true intent will reveal that

desire was not so much to benefit the
Reverend, but rather the charitable

endeavors he boasted about on TV.

And since closer scrutiny of those
endeavors reveal enterprises that fail

meet the IRS definition of charity,
we'll vitiate a big part of that will on

grounds of fraud. Now, that's baseless.
It's not baseless.

And since exposure of that investigation
might end up with Billy Bob being

interviewed on Nightline, I suspect
you'll be quiet.

Finally, Miss Kelsey, of the remaining
21 million, half goes to the Greater Los

Angeles Aid for the Homeless, the other
half to the California Environmental

Protection Foundation. And while you may
miss out on being the great white

administrator, you can take some
consolation in knowing that worthy

being served.

One last thing.

If any of you do choose to litigate,
remember it all comes down to the issue

undue influence, which means it's my
word against yours.

And they're going to believe me, I
promise.

Because I'm the only one here not acting
out of greed, avarice, or some sort of

self -promotion. I'm the one giving it
all away.

And that makes me a thousand times more
credible than all of you stacked up on

top of each other.

And finally, if any of you do challenge
me on this, all the money goes to the

two charities. The children, the
reverend, the lawyers, get nothing.

Meeting's over.

Markowitz?

Although I stand here in complete
ignorance

as to what this world or life has in
store for me, I think I can still safely

predict that no matter what I do or how
long I live, I will never be more proud

of any single thing

that I am my husband at this moment.

And I just want you to know that I
admire you more than I can ever express.

And I love you even more than that.

Mr. Foreman, has the jury reached its
verdict?

Yes, Your Honor. What say you?

We, the jury, find in favor the
plaintiff and order the defendant to pay

in the amount of $210 ,000.

We did it.

I don't believe it.

Oh, thank God.

You look lovely.

Thank you.

None for me.

Please.

To us?

There is no us, Mr. Vincent.

Charles told me you were a little
reluctant.

My mind's made up.

I've always found it best to postpone
final judgment until I have all the

I have all the facts I need, and... I
don't think you do.

For instance, I don't think you know who
paid for that fancy office you sit in.

I don't think you know who owns the
building, Ms. Van Owen, or who owns the

firm, or to a lesser extent, who owns
you.

You may own the firm, Mr. Vincent, but I
guarantee you, you don't own me.

You listen.

You're going to go into court, and
you're going to substitute in as counsel

Tommy.

Then you're going to get a nice
continuance, a courtesy the judge will

too happy to extend to a popular XDA.

Then, if you want, I'll get someone else
to substitute in for you.

Do you understand?

No.

I need time, Ms. Van Allen.

It's just come to my attention that the
state's key witness may suffer a serious

decline in health in the next few weeks.

It sometimes happens to people who
disappoint me.

My answer is not changing.

Some mistakes are very hard to live
with, Ms. Van Allen.

I seriously suggest you rethink your
position.

She's still drinking the champagne.