All language subtitles for This.Life.S01E10.This.Life.1080p.ROKU.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-FFG_track3_[eng]

- He wants to help you.
- You know about my mom.

- Yes.
- Red is a healing colour.

So what then? After the one
red wall is painted.

I don't know. Is that so bad?

I just want to spend
as much time as I can with you.

The person I wish
I was feels the same.

And the person you are?

Feels she needs to
get home to her kids.

I'm always there for them.

You're gonna have to cut out
the weird sex stuff.

I don't want
any of the details.

- Look, I can explain--
- No, I don't want you to.

We have a 6-year-old boy.
His name is Julian

and he's beautiful.

I'll get the abortion. But why

is it so easy for you
to give me up?

Oh! What are you doing?

Tom's dead.

Now his son is contesting the
estate. Dude! You can win this!

- But I might refuse it.
- I'm worried you could be

hypomanic again.

- I'm looking for David.
- Hi.

He's my father.

Just thought
if I'd called first,

that you would have said don't
come. Hey, Natalie. Please.

Hey. Natalie!

You'd be right.

Look. I am...

sorry. I'm really sorry about
what's happening to you.

I mean, you look good, though.

- Who told you?
- You did write about it.

- You read my column.
- Sometimes.

When I want to know
how the kids are doing.

Romy... she called me.

Thought that I should know. She
sounded like she needed help.

From you?

Look, I'm not here to get in
the middle of something.

I just, I felt compelled
to get on a plane

and let you know that if there's
anything, anything at all--

David, what the hell
are you even talking about?

We haven't seen you for years.
- I know, I know.

I don't, I don't know. I just,
I know that I'm here now.

You wanna help me?

You will stick around
just long enough to arrange

for my brother and his wife
to get custody of the girls.

- That would mean
that I would be...
- Signing away your legal

rights as their father.

Uh... Oliver married a woman?

- Matthew, David.
- Right.

Somehow I don't think that's
why Romy called me, Natalie.

I don't. I mean,
how would we even go about

doing that? How does that work?
- I'll find out.

Go that way.

I don't want them seeing you.

Crap.

I don't like
that cheese.

You said you'd eat
a grilled cheese.

I want the other
orange cheese.

- This kind of orange?
- Yeah.

Hi.

- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
- Hey.

- Good parent-teacher meetings?
- Fine.

Teachers love you.

Did you buy this garbage?

It's a guilty pleasure. Yeah.

Sorry, Abby said she want--

It's completely synthetic.

I'll scramble her some eggs.

Wanna get your stuff?
I'll take you home?

Yeah. Bye.

Bye.

"The Failings of the Public
Education System."

Romy, this is
a very thoughtful and well
researched set of arguments--

- Thank you.
- But the point is, we both know

that the topic of your exam was
the history of the fur trade.

How is that in any way
relevant to my life?

Hey! It's relevant if your
teacher says it is.

Which was the entire point
of writing this.

No one listens to me.
- Romy.

Being listened to
is a two-way street.

So Luke says that you've
stopped talking to him.

How is it confidential if
he reports back everything

I say in there?
- OK, you know that

he was going to keep in touch
with us and you told me

you were gonna try.
- He's only worried
for your safety, Romy.

- He just wants to help you.
- Or does he want to help you?

Telling you everything
I say in there?

Romy, you need to knock off
all these games, OK?

Says the person playing
keep-away with Dad.

He came back to help and she
wouldn't even let him.

I've just asked him to wait

until certain things
are sorted out.
- See?

Your assigned hours
have been set.

I know. I'm saying they
conflict with the seminar
on math vectors that I need.

I'm trying to get into an
architecture program,
and if I don't

have all the prerequisites--
- You miss hours,

I gotta tell your
probation officer and she
could order your detention.

You mean send me to jail?

I'm only asking to reschedule.
- Talk to your probation
officer,

but it takes at least two weeks
to apply to change anything.

Seminar will be over by then.

You don't care.

Sorry about earlier.
It's always a dietary
minefield at our place.

Have you been able to see
your dad since he's been in?

Why would I want to do that?

Not even curious?

- Did you know him?
- A little bit.

- What'd you think of him?
- I liked him.

He was smart.
People were drawn to him.

Hey, look. I know he left

and didn't stay in touch, and
I'm not saying that was
the right thing to do.

But when you get older,

you'll see--
things that should be easy...

I don't know;
they sometimes aren't.

You do realize how lame
that sounds, right?

Yeah. Yep.

Honey, I'm home!

What are you doing here?!

- Why? Am I banished?
- No, I just... I...

don't you have a legal matter
you should be attending to?

- That's why we hired a lawyer.
- You're traveling light.

Since being evicted,
I have unburdened myself

with everything
except this painting.

OK. So that's it?
You're here for good?

I don't know. Staying limber.

Well, the way Tom set you up,
we better be splitting the rent.

How often are you flying?

I'm on around
two sorties a week.

So what's going on
with you and Dad?

Have you spoken
to your father?

Over email.

He hasn't said much about
what happened or why, but...

I just want you
both to be happy.

I am. I am happy.

You think eventually you could
be in each other's company
without all the drama?

Absolutely. I'm sure we can.

Hello?

Kev!
- Hey, man.

- How long have you been back?
- Landed yesterday.

I have 10 days' leave.

Caleb's been on
yard duty since Dad left.

Yeah, I just needed to talk
about the grass seed.

Alright.
Are you still at home?

Yeah. Uh, how's
it going over there?

- Intense, but an experience.
- Get whatever you need.

You're still at Concordia?

Yeah, for a couple
more years, anyway.

I should buy you
a beer one night.

Sure, yeah. Anyway, uh...

welcome home.
- Alright, yeah.

Uh, I heard from our lawyer.

He needs two days to get
the proper agreements ready.

Good.

You think David will stick
around long enough to sign them?

- Sorry to keep you waiting.
- It's OK.

Uh, nice to meet you, Natalie.

Hi, and you.
This is my brother, Matthew.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Hi.

- Sure.
- Thank you.

So I know this is daunting,

so I try to spend as much time
as I can with each candidate

to make sure that they
have a grasp of the science.

So you're proposing
a new inhibitor?

My brother's a doctor.

- In a related field?
- Cardiology.

I'm sorry. Anyway,
didn't mean to interrupt.

Different kinds of T cells

are what our bodies use to
naturally fight cancer.

But when malignant tissue binds
with certain receptors,

this effectively turns off your
body's immunological
defense system.

And the drug you're testing
blocks the protein

which causes this.
- In theory.

So basically, it's stimulating
the body's own response
to the disease.

This treatment has shown good
results with some lung cancers,

and we're studying how it
interacts with the drug
that you're on now.

Yes, in a randomized
controlled trial.

Um, what this means, Natalie,

is that we split
our subjects into two groups.

There are those who receive our
drug alongside their Sunitinib--

And those that take a placebo.

Right. But it's blind,
so you won't know.

OK.

Well, worse-case scenario is

I still get the benefits of the
drug that I'm taking now.

Well, no.
We're studying the interaction

between the two drugs,
so the worst-case scenario

is that they get along poorly.

And that could mean?

Poor dosage interaction,

potential side effects could all
weaken your body's response.

- What kind of side effects
are we talking about?
- Oh, certain common ones.

Nausea, fatigue, skin rashes,
gastroenterological problems.

I can't guarantee the severity.

But it's possible,
though unlikely...

Guys. Guys?

Really is dangerous,
the two of you in the same room.

Bottom line?

This could really slow your
disease considerably...

but we don't know if it will.

So...

Why don't you read this,

and take some time
to think about it?

Paternity law? Romy...

It doesn't seem fair
he's being forced to do this.

- Do you think they're
holding a gun to his head?
- Like Mom gave him a choice.

What's the last thing you
remember doing with him?
- When I was 10,

he was supposed to take me
camping. I was really excited.

We were gonna go fishing.
But on the way up it rained,

so we turned around

and by the time we got back
home, it was sunny again.

It was just the way
he was, like how

we stopped talking
after he moved.

First he would call, but I guess
our conversations didn't go

the way he hoped.
- You remember that?

Talking to him on the phone?

Do you?

- Why are we discussing this?
- I just don't understand

why it's so easy for him
to sign us away.

Mom?

What's wrong with her?

- Mom!
- Is she breathing?

- I think so.
- Oh, my God. Mom?

Call an ambulance.

Abby...

Abby, stop running.

Abby.

Abby, come here! Come here.

It's fatigue and anemia,
and it can be managed with rest

and with IV fluids. So...
- She'll be OK.

- Can we see her?
- Well, they're saying not yet.

There's nothing we can really
do. They think we should go.

Um, we should
probably take Abby back.

You go. I'd rather be here.

Dr. Harris...

- Bye.
- Come on, kiddo.

- Bye. Bye, Mom.
- Say bye. Bye everyone.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Pathology.

- You're up.
- Hi.

Ugh. I assume the whole
cavalry's here?

We spared Mom and Dad.

- Yay.
- How are you feeling?

Like an idiot.

Traumatizing the kids
over nothing.

They're fine.
And this isn't nothing.

Will you stay
at the house tonight?

Yeah, of course.

Thank you.

It had shape, then it was
shapeless, and now...

it has shape again.

- I don't see it.
- Try standing up.

It's about overloading your
brain. Seeing beyond

the fragments, and asking it
to reassemble the pieces.

It all just looks
broken to me.

Oliver and the kids
went to scavenge for food.

And just left you here alone?

It's OK...

I'm sure they'll
bring you back something.

Dr. Bertrand to
pediatrics, Dr. Bertrand.

I've spoken to the attending
and she agrees you're stable.

- I feel much better.
- That's good.

They'll send you home
first thing tomorrow.

Hey, since you're here...

any word?

Yes, I've seen the
results of your scan.

Your body's responded
to the medication.

It has?

There's no remission,
but the rate

of growth has slowed.
- But the treatment's working?

As much as
I could have expected.

Does that mean...

does it mean I could
have more time?

I know this is frustrating,
but I still can't answer that

with much certainty.
- Dr. Wilshire...

We haven't discussed
the drug trial.

I know.
It's a difficult decision.

It obviously comes
with major risks.

Yeah.

I mean, now you're saying my
present treatment's working...

It is, except you wouldn't be
a candidate for this drug trial

if your prognosis was--
- Yeah, yeah, I know.

I'm with you, Natalie,
whatever you decide.

- Thanks for coming, Norah.
- Get some rest.

OK.

I know. I'm not
supposed to be here.

Feel any better?
- Much.

Good.

Come here.

Hey.

Did you hear all that?

Because this trial,
I don't want it scaring you.

And I don't even know
if I want to do it.
- Mom.

It's OK. I can handle it.

Well, maybe we shouldn't

discuss it with
your sister just yet.

Maybe not.

But I do think you
should take her to see Dad.

- I did not!
- You did, but it
wasn't that Halloween.

When Kevin threw up on the old
lady down the street? It was.

- It was '98.
- No, it was '99,

and I remember because I dressed
up as the Y2K virus.

- Who'd I throw up on?
- Well, she's dead now,

but this retired teacher
from down the block.

Yeah, and while we weren't
looking you ate the peanut
brittle and went into shock.

Paramedics came
and everybody watched

while they stabbed you
with adrenaline.

- This is smelling.
- Why would I eat
peanut brittle?

Caleb.

What happened between us
was a mistake.

It's my fault and I'm sorry.

I let things go way too far,
but it's over now.

And you have to see that,
because if anyone finds out...

Look, I just wanted to say,
in case you saw the ambulance,

that my mom's fine.
- Ambu-- What happened?

False alarm. Fatigue.

She's spending the night
at the hospital, but...

Oh, Caleb.

Is there anything I can do?

No.

Anyway, she's fine.

Get up.

Right. Now. We need to talk.

What's wrong?

- Your sister says I need
to hear the truth.
- She what?

Natalie?
- Maggie!

And if your sister knows, then
your whole family probably
knows, so I better know too.

OK.

I did try to
tell you this before,

but you didn't want to hear it.
- Now I do.

'K.

This, uh, this woman...

Nic, it's true. It was
really only a few times,

but...

we... we have a son.

And he's almost 7 years old.

I know, I know.

But, but this, it...

- What's his name?
- It's Julian.

And I see him from time to time.
I send money. He thinks
I'm his uncle.

But lately I felt that
that wasn't enough,

so that's why--
- That patient of
yours. The waitress?

Beatrice, yeah.

I'm such an idiot.

I'm this safe little doormat.
That's how you see me.

- No, Nic, I love you. No...
- No!

DON'T TOUCH ME!
- Nic!

You've been lying to me about
this for 7 years. 7 years!

Which means what?
That you fucked this woman

"only a few times," when?

Around the time
I had those surgeries

for my endometriosis?
When we were begging

the Chinese government to
let us have Abigail?
- I'm sorry!

NO!

I'm going to
my sister's with Abby.

You t-- take a couple days and
then pack your things. Just go.

- Nic--
- NO!

♪ You've been waiting
in the dark ♪

♪ To figure out who you are ♪

♪ In a way I didn't learn ♪

♪ Yes I thought
it would all fall ♪

♪ Get out of my head ♪

♪ Get out of my life ♪

♪ Can you? ♪

♪ Get out of my heart ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

Hi.

My friend from the room
of hairless bitches.

You told us you felt alone.

Yeah.

You told me to embrace
the powerlessness.

- How'd that work out?
- Yeah, it's not really me.

But thanks anyway.

What are you in for?

Fatigue and anemia.

You?

They're cutting out
a piece of me tomorrow.

- How big?
- Big enough.

I should be sleeping.

Yeah, me too.

I'm scared.

Me too.

But hey!

What's the point of fear
if it doesn't make us

do the shit we're afraid of?

Yeah.

Sit with me a sec?

Yeah, sure.

Dr. Bertrand to
pediatrics, Dr. Bertrand.

I thought you quit.

Wait, is today, like,
the real thing?

Like, the actual triathlon?

I am so not ready for it.

- Do you want us to come?
- No. And don't tell anyone.

It's going to be carnage.

Good luck!

- Hi.
- Hi.

So last time I saw you,

I was, um--
- Having some legal problems.

Right. Those are
all cleared up now.

Good.

Anyway... since you're
still seeing Romy...

Actually, she maybe
kinda fired me.

She did? That girl...

That makes us...

Still a bad idea.

Even if your niece
wasn't between us,

you don't live here.

I don't live anywhere.

Homeless, huh?

That's an attractive
quality in a man.

Good to see you.

You too.

- I'll be downstairs.
- Roger.

No, I mean, I'll be waiting
in the car the entire time.

Mom, I know.

We met because
I interviewed him. Your dad.

Did I ever tell you that?

I was writing
for the school paper.

He was a TA who had organized

a rally to protest the
oppression in Venezuela.

Isn't dating the story against
some journalistic code?

He was a cool guy.

I'm sorry, OK?
I guess I just--

- You guess?
- I saw your wife

just sitting there, distraught.
Something had to give!

- We were working on it!
- With Natalie getting worse,

it's--
- Maggie, she's already home.

You can't take the girls in
with this hanging over
your marriage, OK?

It's not fair, with everything
they're going through.

Even if that's true, that was
not your decision to make,

Maggie.
- You're right, you're right.

You should have made it.
- SHE DIDN'T WANNA KNOW!

SHE DID NOT WANT TO KNOW!

I understand you're upset, OK?
And I know I deserve it.

But in the moment,
I felt it needed to be done.

Well... congratulations.
My marriage is over.

I don't want to see you.

I don't want to speak to you.
Ever again.

So you're in 7th grade?

8th. I skipped 7th.

- So you're smart.
- That's what they tell me.

No, I mean, I knew that.
I knew that you would be smart.

I mean, you were speaking in
complete sentences by the time

you were 10 months old.
- That was Emma.

Mom told me I barely said
a word until I was 18 months.

Oh, yeah, that's...
I'm an idiot, that's right.

I'm so sorry. I remember...

I remember, because we used
to say that you were

studying the world. You were
soaking it all up before

you were ready to speak.

And then, and then when you did,
it was... it was amazing.

It was just amazing how
you saw things and...

Just not amazing enough
to stick around for.

Ouch.

So what about your other son?

Uh, Jesse's 12 now.

Does he go to an English
school in Buenos Aires?

No, we haven't been there
for a while, actually.

We did my sabbatical in Prague,

and the year before that I was
a visiting professor in Japan.

Cool.

Uh, are you hungry or some--

I could order up ice cream.
- I'm not hungry.

Do you wanna talk about it?

It was fine.

Honey?

Can't breathe.

OK.

Just hang on, alright?

Hey, hey, hey. Shh.

It's OK. It's OK, Romy.
Slow breaths, OK?

It'll pass, I promise.

I love you.

You're gonna be just fine.

Aw, my little girl.

It's Oliver Lawson.

I know you said something
about how they'd give us

the money lump sum right away if
we took their settlement?
- If you take half.

I know; it's cool. How fast do
you think that could happen?

- I can get the papers
to you next week.
- Great.

I can't believe
I'm hearing this.

Yeah, but I mean,
you understand, don't you?

You would have done
the same thing, right?

No. And Maggie?

This ruins all of my plans.

You can see that, can't you?
- But you wouldn't

want the girls going into that
house right now anyway.

Where else are they gonna go?

Hey, here's the thing.
I've been thinking about it,

and I thought... I could do it.

- You?
- Yeah. Why not me?

- You can't be serious.
- What's wrong with me?

You don't trust me?
- Maggie, come on.

You know how much
I love those girls.

It's not about that.
What would this be to you,

other than some half-baked
passion for you to beta test

before it bores you?

I honestly can't believe
that's the way that you see me.

- You--
- You should know

I'm gonna be in serious trouble
for telling you this,

but there's something we all
need to do, right now.

Natalie!

You were in the hospital.

Oh, I never should have...

Hey. I shouldn't have hired
Jim without telling you.

I'm sorry. About everything.

Don't be.
You're a good friend.

And anyway, we're,
we're moving on.

Speaking of which,
I have news.

Jim came over last night,

and we got to talking and uh...

No way.

What happened to the slut?

He's leaving her
for me this time.

Wow.

Ah, D, I'm...

well, I'm without speech.

Maybe we can do it
right this time.

- We gotta run.
- Yeah.

Hey. Oh, my God.

Wow, you got... You're a man.

I didn't think
that I would see you.

- I'm not here for me.
- Look, I, uh,

I know that I don't deserve
anything from you. I know that.

Stop. I don't wanna hear it.

But Romy does.

It's not too late for her.

Maybe Emma, I don't know.
- Yeah, Romy was here.

Yeah, I don't think it went
very well, to be honest.

It's not gonna happen
after one visit.

If you want a chance with either
of them, you're gonna have
to actually try.

'Cause who knows.

They might even need you.

I see. But you, you won't.

- No.
- Well, if you change your mind.

If you decide
to make an effort,

you better follow through.

Ah, no. Did we miss it?

I don't know. These
look like the fast ones.

You know.

Mom and Dad?

- No.
- OK.

Hey, they get
another grandson.

Who could be upset about that?

- I'm so sorry I let you down.
- I know you are.

I don't even know how
things got this far.

You tell Emma

I said she's the best, OK?
- What? Wait! No, no, no.

- No, no. I'm just--
- Hey, stay and you,

you tell her yourself.
- No, I can't. I can't.

Yeah, you can. Come on.

Please.
- OK.

- How did you--
- Caleb.

- He came to see you.
- Yeah. He seems good, you know?

Strong, his own man. Maybe
a little angry, but...
- David--

Look, I know that
I've made some mistakes,

but maybe it's not
too late to fix it.

What exactly does that mean?

Writing a book and consulting.
I mean, I can do that from here.

- I don't want you to.
- I know.

I know you don't,
but they're my kids too.

Right? And I think
they might need me.

Now, they need you?

I'm not going
to sign anything.

You're breaking my heart.

Woo! Come on, girl!
You can do it. To the track!

Let's go, Emma!

Come on, Emma! Let's go!

You go, girl!

Come on, Emma!
You're almost there!

Yay!

Come on, let's go, Emma!

Come on, Emma!

Oh, good girl! Congratulations.

My girl.

Sorry I told your secret,

but I promised I'd be here
to see you finish last.

- Well, I did.
- Aw, not quite.

♪ There is a house ♪

♪ Built out of stones ♪

♪ Wooden floors ♪

♪ Walls and windowsills ♪

♪ Tables and chairs ♪

♪ Worn by all of the dust ♪

♪ This is a place ♪

♪ Where I don't feel alone ♪

♪ This is a place ♪

♪ Where I feel at home ♪

Yours. You're very welcome.
And what else?

Cheers.

♪ And I built ♪

♪ A home ♪

♪ For you ♪

♪ For me ♪

♪ And now it's time ♪

♪ To leave ♪

♪ And turn ♪

♪ To dust ♪

Hey, you two.

We're still celebrating, right?

I'm a candidate
for a drug trial.

I've known about this
for a few days and I've been

deciding what to do about it.

There's a chance that
it could do a better job

at controlling my disease,

but it is experimental,

which means it's also
something of a risk.

What kind of a risk?

One that I want to take.

Well...

Good.

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.