All language subtitles for L.A. Law S01E13 Prince Kuzak in a Can

Previously on L .A. Law.

I know how you get this time of year,
so... I'll pick him up on Monday, okay?

Thank you.

Honey, I really do love you.

Everything's gonna be okay.

I'm 44 years old and I'm locked up in a
rubber room.

I like you, Sid.

Even if you are nuts.

When I was in the hospital, you were the
only one to come to see me. And I want

you to know, it meant a lot.

Well, I'm just glad to see you back.

I'm in Division 50 this afternoon.

Why don't you come see me in action? A
friendly face, it's a nice thing to see.

Hi, Mike.

You want to tell me your thinking,
George?

You got a million drug busts backing up
like sewage. There aren't enough

courtrooms to handle your current
caseload of axe murders. And yet you

to press for a jury trial and a lousy
hooker beef?

Hello, George. How are you? I'm fine,
Mike. Thanks.

Smog's a bitch, ain't it? Can we cut
through the crap here, please? You want

slow down and tell me what you're
talking about? Lurleen Connors. This

never should have gone to court in the
first place. And if it hadn't, there's

outside chance that Sid Hershberg would
be alive today. Sid wanted that trial,

not me.

I offer them a lousy fine and credit for
time served, so get the hell off my

back before I knock you down.

Sorry, I thought that... Think again.

Well, is the offer still good?

Of course it is.

I'm looking to build a career on 50
-buck hooker trials, for God's sake.

George.

I'm sorry about the attitude.

I've been under a lot of pressure.

Forget it.

You took his caseload, didn't you?

Yeah.

Don't ask me why, because I don't know.

Yeah, I'll see you in court.

Mike.

You all right?

Yeah.

Ever since Sid ate his gun, I've been
having nightmares.

I'm afraid to go to sleep at night.

I'm depressed.

I'm anxious.

I had to go back to my shrink.

That's the most awful thing I've ever
seen in my life.

Man, it makes you stop and think about
stuff you don't want to stop and think

about.

People versus Joseph Sears.

Hit -and -run vehicular manslaughter.
Sid Hirshberg's case.

People versus Connors, a prostitute.

Sid Hirshberg.

How about it, Mike? Do you want me to
take one of them for you?

It's under control.

Just because the man's dead, there's no
reason for us to pick up every case he

ever handled.

It's just these two cases, and I'm doing
them. You don't like it?

Too bad.

What about Cromwell Aircraft?

Please, not again.

Excuse me.

Mom's got it. You've been saying that
for a week. We spend thousands of

updating our phone system and all we get
is chaos.

Douglas, I've got a client sitting in my
office who's a computer genius.

Forget it. It's sophisticated equipment.

Not a toy for some computer hack. No,
the kid's a whiz.

You can have this phone mess written out
in a couple of hours.

I think I know what it is now.

Uh -huh.

Back to Cromwell Aircraft.

This is a huge chance for us to land a
major, major client.

George Cromwell will be in town this
afternoon to interview the five biggest

firms in the city and us.

How do we rate?

The vice president is a friend of mine.
He was kind enough to put us on the

list. He was also good enough to give me
a profile on Mr. Cromwell.

This should give us an edge at this
afternoon's meeting.

This is major litigation, and I don't
want to blow it, Michael.

Just because our top trial lawyer is too
busy with one of Sid Hirshberg's

streetwalkers. I can handle it, Douglas.

Mm -hmm. Well, just the thing. Let's
have Ann give you some backup on this.

I'd like the two of you to review this
file and reconvene in my office in 15

minutes.

That's it.

We're adjourned.

I was serious in there. Let me take some
of the weight off.

I'm okay.

You sure? You look like hell.

What did I just say, Victor?

Hey, you were standing ten feet away
from a guy who blew out his own brain.

I just think now's a good time to take a
couple of days off, you know? Take the

long weekend.

Look, when I want your advice, I will
ask for it, okay?

Look,

Mr. Kuzak, uh...

I've been thinking. Yeah.

I've been thinking the whole thing over.

And, uh... Well, here's the brainstorm.

How about when my aunt gets up to you to
testify about the car registration?

I get her to say that we were together
all afternoon.

Say we went to the beach or something.

Suborning perjury is not the way I do
business, Mr. Sears.

Right.

I'll tell you one thing.

Sid Hershberg... Would not have given me
a hard time. If you are not happy with

the way I'm representing you, feel free
to find yourself another lawyer.

You think you can get me off?

Prosecution has to prove guilt beyond a
reasonable doubt.

You don't think they can?

Their whole case comes down to showing
that you were driving your aunt's car at

the time of the accident.

All they have to establish that is one
unreliable eyewitness.

What about the videotape?

Obviously, I will try again to have that
excluded.

But even if they show it...

The images are so murky that it's...
It's less than convincing.

So you think 50 -50?

Hmm? 50 -50?

Oh, I think actually better than that.

Look, Mr. Sears, I understand your
concern. And I assure you that I will

you the best defense I legally can.

But, um... If you'll excuse me.

I got to run. I'm late for a meeting.

All right.

I'll see you in court. Wear a coat and
tie.

Why is he meeting with everyone at the
same time? I never heard of anything

that. Well, he's pressed for time. The
only way he's able to see everyone.

What a bunch of crap.

You have to be at this meeting.

What's Cromwell going to think? Douglas,
I have a 995 motion scheduled.

I'll go to the meeting. And I'll explain
to Mr. Cromwell that my chief litigator

is in court. I think I should go,
Leland.

I've read this guy's profile, and he
thinks of senior partners as self

-contented and fat.

Not that you are, but he likes the
hungry fighter type, and that's me. But

fight may not be what's needed here.
This case should probably be settled.

Excuse me, did we read the same file?

How many civil cases have you won, Ann?

Besides which, this should be a simple
insurance matter.

Michael, if you read the file carefully,
then you would know that Mr. Cromwell

is refusing to settle.

And frankly, I agree with him.

The FAA said it was human error. There
was nothing wrong with the jet. And if

settles this one, he's on the hook for
the five other deaths as well. Product

liability can drag on forever. With the
discovery, the expense, I'd say it makes

more sense to avoid the war. But he has
already decided to go to war.

What he's shopping for now is a soldier.

If we tell him to shy away from the
battle, he's just going to hire another

Fine. You want to take this on, be my
guest. My call. Look, do what you want.

Send me a memo. I'm late.

I can handle this, Leland.

I think I've got a feeling for this guy.

Okay, meet me here at 3 .30 and we'll
head over. Leland, let me bang the drum

alone.

Trust me, I will get you this client.

And in light of the fact that this is
his first offense, Your Honor, I request

that you accept our joint
recommendation.

Defendant pleads guilty to count one,
counts two through seven are dismissed.

I don't take computer fraud lightly,
Counselor.

Your client accessed the records of the
telephone company and deleted all his

friend's phone bills.

It's Christmas presents, Your Honor. He
didn't act for personal gain.

I see.

Defendant, please rise.

Step up to the bench.

Son, you're 18 years old.

From the things you pulled here, I can
see you're a very gifted young man.

I think you do well to take advantage of
your talent and not fall victim to your

boyish mischief.

I'm going to grant your lawyer's request
and drop the remaining six counts in

the sincere hope that you use your
special skills to accomplish all the

things you're capable of.

Please don't disappoint me.

Formal sentencing take place and
defendant meets with probation and I get

report. Thank you, Your Honor.

And rebut your legal fees.

Yeah? Well, I think I've got a way for
you to work it off.

You really that good with telethons?

Am I good?

Here, watch this.

What are you doing?

This is just to get by all the security
checks.

Mobile office, may I help you? Yes, is
President Reagan in?

I came out of the video store and walked
across the street to my car. So you had

a clear view of the crosswalk? Yes.

Mrs. Fields, would you please tell us
what happened next?

The young lady was in the crosswalk and
then the car came out of nowhere and

knocked her down.

It didn't even stop.

He kept right on going. Mrs. Fields, I
know this all happened very fast, but

you get a good look at the driver? He
was a white man, about 40 years old. He

had a mustache.

Would you recognize him if you saw him
again? I believe I could.

Do you see him today in his courtroom?

Yes.

Right there.

Please stand, sir, and state your name
for the record.

Jason Cooper, Your Honor.

What? The record will indicate, Your
Honor, that the witnesses failed to

identify the defendant, Joseph Sears,
who is sitting right behind me. Mr.

is a paralegal working in my office.
He's assisting me on this case.

Your Honor, I ask that Mr. Cusack be
sanctioned for this deceptive maneuver.

I do not have to tolerate that.

Take it easy, Mr. Cusack.

Continue, Miss Gorkowski.

They look a lot alike.

I agree.

Objection. Withdrawn.

Mrs. Fields, I show you a photograph and
ask you if you recognize it.

Yes. The police showed me about ten
pictures on the night of the accident. I

picked this one out as being the man
driving the car.

At this time, I would like to introduce
into evidence a picture of Mr. Joseph

Fears taken at the Culver City Police
Department at the time of booking.

No objection, Your Honor.

No further questions for Mrs. Fields,
Your Honor?

No questions.

You may step down.

Your Honor, at this time I would like to
ask for a brief recess in order to give

me time to set up the video monitor.

And I would like to restate my objection
to the introduction of the videotape on

the grounds that it's inflammatory and
there's nothing to tie the events

recorded to my client.

Thank you, Mr. Cusack. Motion denied.

We'll take a ten -minute recess.

What are you doing here?

I'm just being sociable. I had a free
hour. Like hell, you're babysitting me.

Take it easy, Mike.

So how did I do?

Do I get your approval?

Come on, we got a break. Let's get a cup
of coffee or something.

Get out of here, Victor.

Let me get my job done.

See, I was having trouble with the light
meter.

That's the salesman next to my
girlfriend.

It's at this point you can see the lady
go around them.

And then I lose her for a minute.

Slow the tape, please.

And that's where he hit her.

Since my grandfather, a direct
descendant of Oliver Wendell Holmes,

firm over a hundred years ago, Ambrone
and Fine have been regarded as one of

finest and most prestigious firms in
this country.

But I want to be honest.

The integrity and reputation of every
firm here today is beyond reproach, and

you will be well represented whichever
you choose.

But if you'll look through those
national legal publications I've given

you'll see that our performance
record...

is at the very top.

And if you truly believe that Cromwell
Aircraft deserves the best, well, here

are.

Thank you.

Miss Kelsey?

My firm, Mr. Cromwell, hasn't been
around for a hundred years.

And I haven't read anything about us in
the national journals. But I have read

this complaint, and I can tell you you
don't have to be a descendant of Oliver

Wendell Holmes to know that this thing
stinks.

It's tragic that the pilot and those
five passengers died, and I don't doubt

that we all sympathize with their
families.

But the fact remains, this tragedy was
not your fault.

And I'm dismayed that anyone in this
room would even think about entering

settlement discussions.

A trial is war, and there's supposed to
be casualties.

And if I'm confronted by an empty
complaint like this, I don't go out

with settlement feelers. Have you
thought about the cost of such

Miss Kelsey?

Yes, I've thought about the cost, Mr.
Merithew.

I've also thought about the fact that
McMahon Kramer is here with two partners

and an associate.

If the meter was running, an hour -and
-a -half meeting with an hour travel

would bring your firm's bill for this
little get -together to almost $1 ,500.

$1 ,500, and all he tells you is to
think about rolling over on a worthless

bluff.

I'm here by myself, saying more and
prepared to do more, and my time for

meeting would run you about $300.

These are all great firms, Mr. Cromwell.

And they're absolutely right. If you
want fine, respectable representation

years of tradition backing you up, pick
one of them.

But if you want a firm that despises
defeat, if you want someone who will

it right back to shameless lawyers
rolling the dice for litigious clients,

you want to win, then we're it, Mr.
Cromwell.

We're it.

I was a jerk.

Damn near bit his head off, and it turns
out it was Sid Hirshberg who wanted a

trial. Sid Hirshberg wanted an audience.

You look awful, mister.

Would everybody get off my back? All I
need to do is make it to the weekend.

Get a little rest.

I'll be okay.

But why are you doing this to yourself?

You don't need his scuzzy cases.

Grace, please don't lecture me. Okay.

If you're interested, I've pulled a
favor.

Lou Corrigan's gonna take my Friday
night shift.

We can hit the road by five.

Be in Palm Springs at 7 .30.

We'll spend the weekend eating,
sleeping, sunning, groping each other.

you say, stranger?

Sounds great.

Great.

I gotta go.

But you sit as long as you want.

Think about life.

Think about death.

And don't forget to turn the lights out
when you leave.

See? And by bypassing the main board,
each extension has a direct connection.

Now, here's a neat little feature that I
put in just for you.

This foot pedal right here, and it's
connected to the voice terminal. So now

don't have to use a free hand to answer
a call, right?

So, uh, you're typing.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

And, um, you can't reach. You just hit
the pedal with your foot and there it

Now, let's talk call forward.

Who is that boy dismantling our phones?

Brackman.

Mr. Cifuentes brought him in.

I want him out. Are you kidding?

Thanks to him, it's the first time these
phones have worked in a week.

You see, sir, what it is that I'm doing
is that by eliminating the direct dial,

office communications won't be racking
up message units. Should save the firm

about $12 ,000 annually.

Now, Ms. Melman, how about a nice little
override system?

Any intercept tone you want.

No, thank you.

It's really no trouble at all. You know,
if you want, I could hook up a nice

monitor screen right here so that you
could get cable.

No trouble.

Ann, how'd it go?

Um, I think we got a good shot.

Look, I'm sorry about this morning.

It's okay.

Let me change a few appointments. I
ought to be able to free up some time

tomorrow for breakfast if Cromwell wants
to sit down with me.

It's okay.

I mean, everything's under control.

Ann. Michael.

Lillian Connors is on the phone for you.

I'll call her back. She's calling from
jail, Mike.

You all right?

Hold on a second.

Damn. Hi.

Listen, I gotta break dinner.

You've been here already?

George Cromwell wants me to meet with
him.

No kidding.

That's great.

I mean, that sounds really promising.

You sure you don't mind?

Well, I can probably find something to
keep you busy.

Welcome, Dad.

Couldn't you at least have waited and
we'd plug you out on the other beat?

A person has to eat, counselor.

Bail per schedule, $2 ,500.

Talk to Barney's bail bonds.

Ask for Barney Rosetti personally.

He'll take care of it.

The arraignment is tomorrow afternoon. I
may have to ask for a continuance.

No problem.

And by the by, is it okay if I pay you
like I paid Sid?

Look, why don't you just pay me tomorrow
with the arraignment, okay?

You sure?

How did you and Sid do it?

Usually in his car.

Our safety record speaks for itself.

Well, that plane is one of the safest in
the sky if you've been trained to pilot

it. I know. I went over every inch of it
myself.

You're a deep pocket, Mr. Cromwell.
Those lawyers probably think they can

out some quick money.

But you think we can win.

I do.

Furthermore, I think there's a chance
that they'll fold before we get to

But it's critical that we communicate
right from the outset that we mean

business. Well, I must say, I have a
very good feeling about us working

together.

I'm very impressed with your intensity,
your grasp of the subject, your

competitiveness, your eyes.

That's very nice.

Please don't take this wrong.

Not very good at indirectness, so I'm
just going to say it.

I'm very attracted to you.

I should tell you, George, that I'm
involved with someone.

Stuart Markowitz.

You know him?

No.

But like you, I do my homework.

I like to check out the competition.

Well, then you know how deeply committed
I am to the relationship.

I see.

I hope I haven't offended you.

Only if getting the job is tied to my
romantic interest in you.

No, that was never a question.

The job is yours.

And please accept my apology if I've
made you feel uncomfortable.

And I've completely coded the centric so
you can reach each extension with a one

or two digit number. I made you number
one. Thank you, Andrew.

I'd be happy to come to your house and
program your system.

My mom can run the dishwasher from the
bathroom.

That's really something. Will you excuse
me?

Oh, okay.

That young man is in love with you.

Come on.

Trust me, his hormones are in flames.

Arnie, you're teasing me.

Don't break his heart, Rox.

Hi. I just heard the good news.
Congratulations.

Thanks, Stuart.

I, uh... I called you last night. I
guess you got in late, huh?

It was almost midnight. I didn't want to
wake you.

Nice flowers.

George Cromwell sent them.

Yeah, I know.

Look, I'm trying not to overreact here
or anything, but I'm...

I'm jealous of this guy.

Judy, it was a pleasant dinner. We
discussed the case. It was entirely

professional. And he just sends people
entirely professional $100 baskets of

flowers, right?

Is that a crime?

It's not a crime, no.

You're making it sound as if I did
something wrong.

No, Ann, I don't think you did anything
wrong.

Want me to send them back?

No, I don't want you to send the flowers
back, Ann. I'm sorry, okay?

Maybe... You would prefer it if I just
didn't enjoy them?

Yeah, I think I would prefer them.

Is George Cromwell on 26th?

Detective Zucchino, calling your
attention to the evening of July 10th,

Were you dispatched to an address at 416
Higuera Street in Culver City?

Yes, I was. And why was that?

We received notification that a vehicle
believed to have been involved in a hit

-and -run accident had been recovered,
and its registration traced to an Ellen

Pearl who resided at that address.

Detective, what happened when you
arrived at 416 Higuera Street?

We were admitted by a man matching the
description of the driver. He identified

himself as Mr.

Joseph Sears.

Did you have occasion to question Mr.
Sears at that time? When I asked him to

account for his whereabouts at the time
of the accident, he became...

Abusive. How so?

He made disparaging remarks about my
relations with an intimate member of my

family.

Detective Zucchino, was there anything
about Mr. Sears' appearance or conduct

which indicated to you that he'd been
drinking?

Objection. Leading.

Overruled. You may answer the question.

He was blurring his words, and I
detected the smell of alcohol on his

Did you ask him to take a breathalyzer
test?

Yes. He refused.

And what happened then?

Well, believing there was sufficient
evidence that a crime had been

advised Mr.

Sears of his constitutional rights and
placed him in custody.

Thank you, Detective.

No further questions.

No questions, Your Honor. State rest,
Your Honor.

Mr. Cusack? Ready to proceed, Your
Honor.

Call Ellen Pearl.

Are you the owner of a 1978 Ford sedan?

Oh, it used to belong to my late
husband. I know I should have sold it,

well, I guess somewhere I keep hoping
I'll get better and can start driving

again. And yet you continue to maintain
the vehicle and keep it insured and

registered in any case.

Oh, my nephew does.

As far as you know, does Mr. Sears ever
drive your car?

Oh, why would he want to? I mean, he has
two cars of his own.

Does anyone have permission to drive
your car, Miss Pearl?

Oh, there's the boy who lives across the
street and does my marketing. I hang a

nail. I mean, I hang a key on a nail in
the garage, so if he needs the car, he

can borrow it.

So really, any number of people could
have access to your car.

I don't understand.

Well, my point is that any number of
people could have taken the key down

the nail and driven away in your car. Is
that correct?

Oh, no.

They're all very nice people. None of
them could have done this awful thing.

And it wasn't my nephew either.

And how do you know that?

Because he was with me the whole
afternoon.

Oh, Your Honor, please.

Forgive an old lady her infirmities, but
it would be so much easier if I could

just explain what happened.

Your Honor. Your Honor, wait a minute.
I'll allow the witness to proceed in a

narrative fashion.

Miss Pearl.

Thank you.

My... My nephew took me to the beach
that Saturday.

We were there the whole afternoon.

Yeah, he's so thoughtful.

He knows I get cooped up in that house
all week.

Anyway, we had a little lunch and then
we sat out in the open air. So we

couldn't have been in that accident.

At what hours were you and your nephew
at the beach?

We left at 11 in the morning and we got
stuck in awful traffic coming home and

we didn't get back until nearly 5 .30.
And the next thing I knew...

We were having a small cocktail, and
suddenly the police officers came and

that my car had been in a terrible
accident.

And then... That... That's when they

took Joseph away. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Your Honor?

Approach the bench.

Approach.

I could see you in chambers, Your Honor.

All right, Mr. Kozak. We're in recess.

Your Honor, I have reason to believe
that one of my witnesses has lied on the

stand. Did you knowingly present this
alleged perjured testimony?

No, sir. It came as a complete surprise
to me.

The problem then?

Well, now that this evidence has been
admitted, if I argue it in my jury

summation, it's like I'm putting my
stamp of approval on it.

So don't argue it. Well, then I'd be
shirking my responsibility to zealously

defend the client.

Then what do you want from me?

Remove me from the case.

You're no virgin, Mr. Cusack. You know
if I relieve you and declare a mistrial,

I could be reversed by the appellate
court, which means your client could go

free because of double jeopardy.

On the other hand, as far as I can tell,
no judge has ever been reversed for

allowing purportedly perjured testimony.

If you won't relieve me, I'll withdraw.

And then Sears could get a new trial.

Now, what's to prevent him from playing
this same time and money -wasting game

with his next lawyer and the one after
that?

No, Mr. Cusack.

Withdrawing is not the answer to your
dilemma.

The answer is to let the system work.
You do your job, let the D .A. do her

and the jury will do their job of
sorting out the truth, the falsity of

testimony. That's a comforting homily,
Your Honor.

But you know as well as I that Sears
will be acquitted. That sweet little old

lady had the jury eating out of the palm
of her hand.

This was a Hirshberg case, wasn't it?

So what?

So I'm going to do you a big favor and
take the problem out of your hands.

I'm ordering you back into that
courtroom, and if you refuse, I'll cite

contempt, okay?

Now, I'm the bad guy.

And you're still the noble torch carrier
going forward in an imperfect world.

Oh, that doesn't solve much.

Witnesses lie on the stand every day,
Mr. Cusack.

You want to debate the ethical
conundrum? We'll have dinner after this

over. In the meantime, let's just do our
jobs, huh?

People are ready, Your Honor.

Mr. Cusack?

Ready, Your Honor.

Miss Pearl.

You testified that on the evening of
July 10th you were visited by police

officers. Is that correct?

Yes.

Mr. Cusack, are you all right?

Oh, yes, Your Honor, yes.

I'm fine.

Then let's move along.

I'm unwilling to proceed, Your Honor.

I'm withdrawing from this case.

Do you understand the significance of
what you're

doing? I do, sir.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we
have a mistrial.

What that means is your obligation to
this court is concluded and you're free

go. We thank you for your patience and
your time and apologize that you were

unable... To complete the work you were
called here to do.

Mr. Sears, you have ten days to get a
new lawyer.

Then we'll schedule a hearing and set a
new trial date at that time.

Miss Pearl, thank you. You're excused.

Ladies and gentlemen, we'll see you all
again.

Attorneys, approach.

You're really a piece of work, aren't
you, Mr. Cusack?

You're going to find out there's a price
to pay for everything.

You're in contempt of court.

Anything to say before I pronounce
sentence?

Well, I assume I'll be granted the
automatic three -day stay, Your Honor.

assume wrong, Mr. Cusack. Bailiff, take
Mr. Cusack into custody.

And by the way, while you're serving
your five -day sentence, I'd like you to

know I'm getting an early start on my
vacation. I'm going skiing in Utah.

Think of me on the slopes.

with the Cusacks because I want to be
trying very hard not to be thinking of

you.

How'd you sell?

They got me last week.

You know, the deputy sheriff is all
excited. They can't remember when they

former DA in here before.

You're gonna make the newsletter.

Great. Look, Mike, I could go ahead and
file a writ, but the hard part is

getting somebody to read it.

It's not real sharp getting hit with
contempt on a Friday afternoon.

But McKenzie says he's gonna find
another judge before everybody goes away

the weekend.

So, if word comes to word, you gonna be
okay till Monday?

Well, Gracie and I were hoping to get
away for the weekend. Yeah, I think

gonna have to change your plans.

Hey, call her again for me, will you?

Sure thing.

Thanks, Victor.

Oh, one other favor. I got a client
who's scheduled to appear in Division 40

3 o 'clock.

Lurleen Connors. One of his cases?

Yeah.

I made a deal for her, so all you gotta
do is show up and plead her out.

But in the meantime, she's been arrested
on another charge. So if you just get a

continuance on that one, I'll handle it
when I get out, okay?

Why don't you let me just clean them
both up?

That way, you get out of here, you don't
have to think about Sid Hirshberg

anymore.

I hate to ask, Victor.

No hay problema.

Oh, yeah, Mike.

Stay out of the shower room.

It's my understanding the D .A. and
defense counsel have come to agreement

plea bargain, a $200 fine and credit for
time served.

Is that correct?

Yes, Your Honor.

Actually, Your Honor, the deal was cut
with Ms. Connors' previous attorney,

Michael Kuzak.

So what are you saying? You don't want
the deal now?

Not necessarily.

It's merely if the court will peruse the
paperwork, Your Honor will notice that

Ms. Connors has had a subsequent arrest.

So you're saying the DA doesn't want the
deal now?

Actually, I was hoping that we could
save the court's time by consolidating

two cases.

Consolidate how?

$200 fine and credit for time served for
both cases.

I beg your pardon?

In the interests of fairness and
justice.

Time to throw the last one in at no
extra charge.

Would you care to enumerate exactly what
interests you're talking about,

Counselor? Your Honor, my client was
originally represented by Sidney

and was in fact present in court when
Mr. Hirshberg tragically and violently

took his own life.

Which, unfortunate occurrence, we all
deeply regret, I'm sure.

And I may be missing something here, but
I still fail to see any issue of

justice or fairness.

Can you not imagine the trauma my client
suffered witnessing this tragic event?

And can you not further imagine her even
more severe traumatization if you were

to deny my motion and leave her
sentencing on this second matter to the

of some less compassionate jurist who
might even go so far as to incarcerate

while still in this fragile
psychological state?

And given the fact that the court was
arguably negligent in appointing for her

an attorney well known for erratic and
dangerous behavior in the first place...

Are you threatening a lawsuit, Mr.
Cifuentes?

I'm merely stating the grievous wrongs
the criminal system has inflicted upon

Miss Connors. Not to mention her also
being deprived of her second attorney

to his present incarceration at the
hands of yet another of your brothers.

Mr. Handelman, do you have any feelings
on this matter?

None, Your Honor.

None whatsoever.

I thought you went home.

I was just finishing up here.

Finishing up what?

It's dumb.

I was just sitting in a chair, looking
at his picture.

I'm wondering what it would be like to
be handsome.

To have women falling at my feet.

You have your own kind of handsomeness,
Andrew.

Sure, king of the geeks.

Arnie would kill me if he knew that I
was showing this to you.

Arnie?

A fat boy with glasses.

People change.

Yeah, well, I'm a nerd at 18.

And I'll be a nerd at 30, and I'll be a
nerd at 60.

God.

Yeah, you must think I'm a total wimp.

You're not a wimp.

You are sweet and sensitive.

Yeah, well, that and 50 bucks is the
only way that I'm ever gonna get a

Is that all you want, Andrew? Sick?

No.

I just want somebody to love me.

No.

Someday...

Believe me, someday when you're older,
there will be women who

appreciate a man like you.

Really?

You'll be fighting them off.

Yeah.

I probably shouldn't say this.

Don't hate me for it.

I think I love you.

Andrew. No, really.

Oops, sorry.

Oh, excuse me. I gotta go.

I told you you're playing with fire.

He's seriously in love with you, Rox.

He's just a boy.

Well, his hormones don't know that. He's
feeling very real adult emotions.

Barney, all he did is fix my phone.

The question is, are you gonna fix his
phones?

Would you stop?

You know...

I was a young boy like Andrew once.

Low self -esteem.

Hits all over my face.

Christmas vacation, my family went to
Hawaii with the Boucher family.

God, she was mesmerizing.

Who? Mrs. Boucher.

So elegant, so feline.

I'd do anything just to be around her,
just to smell her perfume.

Just before the big hotel luau.

I ordered three Tom Collins from room
service, and I chugged them down just

the courage to ask her to dance.

She turned you down.

She never had a chance.

Mr. Boucher overheard me asking her and
started to make fun of me in front of my

parents.

Most humiliating moment of my life.

What'd you do?

I ran.

I hid out by the pool on a chaise lounge
in the pitch black nursing my first

hangover.

God, I felt like the loneliest person in
the whole world.

I know what that's like.

Except suddenly, there she was.

Wearing this strapless, backless dress,
which I couldn't figure out how it

stayed up. I guess she had come looking
for me. She sat on my chaise, stroked my

forehead. She asked me if I was okay.

And I couldn't hold it in anymore. I
started to cry.

God, I was so embarrassed.

But she said that was okay. She said I
shouldn't be. She said I was very

sensitive and deep, and she said I was a
very old soul.

And someday women would appreciate a
gentle man like me.

What happened?

Mrs. Boucher held me to her bosom, and
she comforted me.

Just like you were only Andrew.

And that did it for the dress. It just
slithered down, and I guess I started

getting kind of grabby, and she...

Took my hand, and she told me to slow
down, and she showed me what to do.

And I started thinking, my God, this is
it. This is it. I'm going to get sex.

And then, like she was reading my mind,
she whispers in my ear, and she says,

No, Arnie.

I'm going to teach you all about love.

You mean right there?

Next morning, I woke up in my bed.

First, I thought it must have been a
dream only to have these waffle wee

and blue marks all over my legs.

And my complexion was totally cleared
up.

Did anyone ever find out?

After that one night, she pretended like
it never happened.

But it was the most wonderful thing that
ever happened to me.

What a sweet story.

I gotta go.

Be gentle with him, okay?

I mean, I thought by this time tonight
we'd be halfway across the desert with

the top down and the stars over our
heads and we'd have the whole weekend to

look forward to. I mean, this is not
exactly what I had in mind, Cusack.

First, I do not see you for days on end.

It's not my fault.

Then the first weekend in months, we
have a chance to spend some time

And you get yourself thrown in jail.

It's not like I planned this, Grace.

I heard you goaded him.

You know me better than that.

Michael, ever since Sid Hirshberg killed
himself, I don't know if I know you

anymore at all.

I don't know if I know myself anymore at
all.

Talk to me, Michael.

I went for a walk during the lunch
recess.

And I decided to compromise.

That I wouldn't use the old lady's
testimony in my jury information.

So why didn't you?

I don't know.

I got back in court.

I started to pick up my direct
examination of the old lady. I opened my

To ask her a question.

And Sid Hirshberg came out.

What?

I know that that sounds nuts.

But he's in me, Grace.

He's inside of me.

And I'm trying to understand him so that
he doesn't take me over.

Does that make any sense?

Oh, Mickey.

I'm so sorry. No.

It's okay.

It's not so bad in here, really. It sort

of puts everything in limbo for a while.
Gives me a chance to...

Visiting hours over counseling.