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1
00:00:19,002 --> 00:00:20,846
O'Rourke, are you sure
you and the troopers
2
00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:22,397
can handle the
store while I'm gone?
3
00:00:22,421 --> 00:00:23,899
What are you
nervous about, Janey?
4
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:26,001
You're only gonna be in
Dodge City for three days.
5
00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:29,004
I got the boys
beautifully trained. Yeah.
6
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:30,022
Hi, Jane.
7
00:00:30,046 --> 00:00:31,724
Hi, Wilton.
8
00:00:31,748 --> 00:00:32,774
Whoop!
9
00:00:32,798 --> 00:00:34,393
Look out, captain!
10
00:00:34,417 --> 00:00:36,161
Oh, Wilton, are you all right?
11
00:00:36,185 --> 00:00:39,904
Yes, yes, I just have a
sudden urge for a lump of sugar.
12
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,268
I sure do appreciate you fellows
13
00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:45,237
wanting to mind my
store when you're off duty,
14
00:00:45,261 --> 00:00:47,239
but I think it's a woman's job.
15
00:00:47,263 --> 00:00:48,840
Oh, that's where
you're wrong, Jane.
16
00:00:48,864 --> 00:00:50,909
I bet Agarn's as good
a salesman as you are.
17
00:00:50,933 --> 00:00:53,645
Well, you might be able to
sell something like a saddle,
18
00:00:53,669 --> 00:00:56,281
but I don't think you'd be
able to sell a corset to a lady.
19
00:00:56,305 --> 00:00:57,549
It's easy Jane.
20
00:00:57,573 --> 00:00:58,573
All I say is:
21
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,436
Now then, madame,
22
00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:04,322
could I interest you in
our latest French corset?
23
00:01:04,346 --> 00:01:06,758
Guaranteed to give
you that hourglass figure
24
00:01:06,782 --> 00:01:09,377
with all of the sand
in the right spots.
25
00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:10,896
Very good, corporal.
26
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,447
I'll bet you a saddle
is just as easy
27
00:01:12,471 --> 00:01:13,749
to sell as a corset,
28
00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:16,018
except its cinch strap
straps in a different place.
29
00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:17,602
♪ Do-da, do-da ♪
30
00:01:17,626 --> 00:01:19,504
Jane, my advice to you
31
00:01:19,528 --> 00:01:22,040
is to take off for Dodge City
and not worry about a thing.
32
00:01:22,064 --> 00:01:23,344
All right, Wilton.
33
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:27,462
Janey, please, not
in front of the men.
34
00:01:27,486 --> 00:01:30,015
And I wanna thank all of
you for what you're doing.
35
00:01:30,039 --> 00:01:31,734
Bye, Agarn.
36
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,035
Please, Janey, not
in front of the captain.
37
00:01:34,059 --> 00:01:35,370
Bye, all.
38
00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:36,514
Bye.
39
00:01:39,616 --> 00:01:41,559
Now, men, just because
I've given permission
40
00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:42,778
to help Jane out here,
41
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,647
I don't want anyone
neglecting his duties.
42
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,104
Ah, don't you worry, sir.
I've got everything organized.
43
00:01:49,826 --> 00:01:53,555
Ah, there's the stage.
Vanderbilt, go get the mail.
44
00:01:53,579 --> 00:01:54,945
Right, sarge.
45
00:01:58,567 --> 00:01:59,961
It's your fault, sarge.
46
00:01:59,985 --> 00:02:01,463
You knew he
couldn't find the door.
47
00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:03,732
I... I know. I lost my head.
48
00:02:10,863 --> 00:02:13,263
Captain, we got a visitor.
49
00:02:17,536 --> 00:02:18,814
Honorable captain,
50
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:21,149
would like to
present humble self
51
00:02:21,173 --> 00:02:23,719
who has name Miko Tanahara.
52
00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:25,554
Well, I'm... I'm very pleased
53
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,911
t-to meet you, Miss
Tanahana-hara.
54
00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:32,761
Oh! I'm terribly,
terribly sorry.
55
00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:37,088
No, wait. Uh... Just one moment.
56
00:02:39,408 --> 00:02:41,002
There you are.
57
00:02:41,026 --> 00:02:44,590
Humbly request to allow
me protection of your fort.
58
00:02:44,614 --> 00:02:46,257
You mean, you
wanna live on our fort?
59
00:02:46,281 --> 00:02:48,760
Must. Humble self in danger.
60
00:02:48,784 --> 00:02:51,163
Being chased by
honorable bad man.
61
00:02:51,187 --> 00:02:53,448
No, no, you mean,
dishonorable bad man.
62
00:02:53,472 --> 00:02:55,917
Must be polite to everyone.
63
00:02:55,941 --> 00:02:58,687
Well, I'm terribly sorry,
but you can't stay at the fort.
64
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:00,789
In that case, must arrange
65
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:03,441
for humble funeral
of humble self.
66
00:03:03,465 --> 00:03:04,981
Take humble leave.
67
00:03:07,052 --> 00:03:10,182
Oh, captain, you've
gotta do something.
68
00:03:10,206 --> 00:03:11,500
Or sh-sh-she might commit
69
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,969
that old Japanese
custom, hara-kiri, you know.
70
00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:15,537
What? No, she can't do that.
71
00:03:15,561 --> 00:03:16,841
Yeah, well...
72
00:03:19,598 --> 00:03:22,010
Would like to be
buried in favorite kimono
73
00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:24,212
if not too much
trouble, captain-san.
74
00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:26,849
I don't want to hear
any talk about funerals.
75
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:31,219
But Miko will not be caught
alive by honorable bad man.
76
00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:33,121
Well, then, I guess
I'll just have to give you
77
00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:34,823
special permission
to stay on the fort.
78
00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:37,626
Men, follow me with
her trunk. Vanderbilt.
79
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:40,879
Never mind, never mind.
Vanderbilt, go mind the store.
80
00:03:40,903 --> 00:03:43,999
Uh, humble corporal will
please, uh, assist humble self
81
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:45,283
in removing honorable goody.
82
00:03:45,307 --> 00:03:46,584
Huh?
83
00:04:53,392 --> 00:04:57,088
Miko, it's humble me.
84
00:04:57,112 --> 00:04:59,592
Good morning, honorable captain.
85
00:05:00,416 --> 00:05:02,032
Good morning... Oh!
86
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,130
Oh, my.
87
00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:08,317
My, you... You've done
wonders with the place.
88
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:12,070
Miko very grateful you
give up your quarters for her.
89
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,306
Well, i-it's not
going to be for long.
90
00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:16,858
And once I give Corporal
Agarn his glass of warm milk,
91
00:05:16,882 --> 00:05:19,361
it's really quite comfortable
sleeping in there with...
92
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:21,396
With him and
S-sergeant O'Rourke.
93
00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:24,282
No, please. I happen
to be going steady.
94
00:05:24,306 --> 00:05:27,491
Only want to make
honorable captain comfortable.
95
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,291
Oh, say, that's...
That's very pretty, Miko.
96
00:05:33,315 --> 00:05:34,676
Here, try on.
97
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:35,700
Oh.
98
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,501
Sit down, please.
99
00:05:42,525 --> 00:05:47,289
Well, this is very,
very... Miko, please.
100
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:49,191
Honorable captain
will find sandals
101
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,860
more comfortable
sitting on floor.
102
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,412
S-sitting on floor?
103
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:56,031
Have prepared
tea and rice for you.
104
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:58,567
Oh, uh, it's very
kind of you, Miko,
105
00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:02,042
but you shouldn't have
gone to so much trouble.
106
00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:07,542
Chopsticks. I've always
wanted to try them.
107
00:06:07,566 --> 00:06:10,695
If honorable captain would like
Miko to show you how to use?
108
00:06:10,719 --> 00:06:12,819
No, no, no, no, I'm
sure I'll get the hang of it.
109
00:06:15,024 --> 00:06:17,685
Here. No, wait.
Just... I-I'll get it. Okay.
110
00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:19,393
I-I'll... I'll get it.
111
00:06:23,765 --> 00:06:26,628
I-I think I'd better
stick with the tea.
112
00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:28,035
As you wish.
113
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:32,117
Say, that's an
interesting instrument.
114
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,903
In Japan, it called samisen.
115
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:36,821
Do you know, "Home
on the Range"?
116
00:06:36,845 --> 00:06:40,258
No, but can play
old Japanese song.
117
00:06:40,282 --> 00:06:43,094
It called, "Hitori De Ochao."
118
00:06:43,118 --> 00:06:45,486
What does that
mean? "Tea for One."
119
00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:00,679
Uh, captain, I wonder if we...
120
00:07:00,703 --> 00:07:02,647
Ah, excuse us, we didn't
know you were busy.
121
00:07:02,671 --> 00:07:04,182
No, no, no, sergeant.
122
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,985
Miko was just showing me
some Japanese customs.
123
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,720
Oh, heh.
124
00:07:08,744 --> 00:07:12,173
Well, sir, we'll come back
after you've had your bath.
125
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,975
I can assure you, corporal,
126
00:07:13,999 --> 00:07:16,745
I do not approve of the
Japanese bathing customs.
127
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,180
But I always say, sir,
128
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:22,167
you show me a clean body,
and I'll show you a clean towel.
129
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,536
Captain, we came by to see
130
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,705
if we could buy some of
those, uh, wonderful things
131
00:07:26,729 --> 00:07:28,173
from Japan from Miko.
132
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,441
Now, this I like. Eh?
133
00:07:30,465 --> 00:07:31,760
It's got a lion on the back.
134
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:35,797
Oh, beautiful. Beau...
Have you got that in a 46 XL?
135
00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:37,632
I must have some
of those sandals,
136
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:39,618
and I've looked
everywhere for them.
137
00:07:39,642 --> 00:07:42,504
But Miko's
belongings not for sale.
138
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,088
But, Miko, these would be great
139
00:07:44,112 --> 00:07:45,990
for lounging around
the barracks at night.
140
00:07:46,014 --> 00:07:49,728
But very happy to give
gifts to honorable sergeant
141
00:07:49,752 --> 00:07:52,197
and honorable corporal.
142
00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:54,199
Oh! Isn't that nice?
143
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,801
She's a sweetheart,
captain. I tell you.
144
00:07:56,825 --> 00:07:59,554
And they say, "East is
East and West is West
145
00:07:59,578 --> 00:08:01,556
and never the twain
shall meet." I got...
146
00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:03,041
You may pick whatever you like.
147
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,259
The blue one, that's for me.
148
00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:06,561
This is for sergeant.
This is for corporal.
149
00:08:06,585 --> 00:08:07,645
Oh, thanks.
150
00:08:07,669 --> 00:08:09,180
Thank you. Thank you.
151
00:08:09,204 --> 00:08:11,950
Wait till they see this back
in Passaic, New Jersey.
152
00:08:11,974 --> 00:08:14,836
Most welcome, sergeant.
Most welcome, corporal.
153
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,105
Oh, yeah. Uh...
154
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,925
Oh, uh, listen, uh, would
you excuse us, captain?
155
00:08:19,949 --> 00:08:21,176
Oh, of course, sergeant.
156
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,360
Yeah. Bye, captain.
157
00:08:22,384 --> 00:08:23,645
Goodbye, corporal.
158
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:24,669
Yes.
159
00:08:27,772 --> 00:08:29,651
Now, let me see.
Where...? Where were we?
160
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,920
Oh, yes. You were
playing, "Tea for One."
161
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:34,472
Sarge, is that Miko a doll?
162
00:08:34,496 --> 00:08:36,474
Oh, she sure is. I
tell you what we'll do.
163
00:08:36,498 --> 00:08:39,144
We'll buy her a nice
gift out of the profits.
164
00:08:39,168 --> 00:08:40,128
What profits?
165
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,413
Didn't I tell you?
166
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,998
We just went into the
oriental souvenir business.
167
00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:45,416
We did? Yeah.
168
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,902
We're gonna go up
to the Hekawi camp
169
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,454
and have our friends the
Indians make us these souvenirs.
170
00:08:49,478 --> 00:08:52,246
We're gonna be the first ones
to copy from the Japanese.
171
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:56,033
Here.
172
00:08:58,286 --> 00:09:00,431
Hi, Wild Eagle, Crazy.
173
00:09:00,455 --> 00:09:01,516
Hi, chief. Hi, Craze.
174
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:02,767
Hold it, boys.
175
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:05,553
Just inspecting new model:
souvenir bow and arrow.
176
00:09:05,577 --> 00:09:07,844
Just off squaw assembly-line.
177
00:09:09,264 --> 00:09:11,509
You call that bow and arrow?
178
00:09:11,533 --> 00:09:13,811
Sorry, chief. You just
happened to get lemon.
179
00:09:13,835 --> 00:09:16,298
Come on, chief, forget
the bows and arrows.
180
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,437
Forget nothing!
181
00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:21,636
Can't understand it.
182
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,973
These bows and
arrows are terrible.
183
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:27,131
Can't even sell
them for seconds.
184
00:09:28,517 --> 00:09:29,633
Ow!
185
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,165
You see, chief. You
can't break that one.
186
00:09:33,189 --> 00:09:34,189
Oh, no?
187
00:09:37,659 --> 00:09:39,170
Now it breaks.
188
00:09:39,194 --> 00:09:41,206
Chief, forget bows and arrows.
189
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,691
We got a whole
new line of souvenirs
190
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,309
for your tribe to make.
191
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:46,311
Kimonos, sandals, parasols.
192
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:49,981
Kimonos, sandals, parasols?
193
00:09:50,005 --> 00:09:51,132
That's right, chief.
194
00:09:51,156 --> 00:09:52,850
Now, we're retooling
your squaws.
195
00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:56,237
Here you go. Ah,
now, that is a fan.
196
00:09:56,261 --> 00:09:57,738
The ladies use it
in the summertime
197
00:09:57,762 --> 00:09:59,224
to keep themselves cool.
198
00:09:59,248 --> 00:10:02,644
And also for... flirting.
199
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:06,181
Ah, here now, I want
you to look at this.
200
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:07,832
That very beautiful.
201
00:10:07,856 --> 00:10:09,834
Where you get all
these things, sergeant?
202
00:10:09,858 --> 00:10:12,987
From a far-off
place called Japan.
203
00:10:13,011 --> 00:10:14,923
That's right. We got
'em from a Japanese girl
204
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,173
living over at the fort.
205
00:10:16,197 --> 00:10:18,376
She gave us all this
stuff. Here, try this on.
206
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,912
Me? That look like
something for squaw.
207
00:10:20,936 --> 00:10:23,214
Over there, everybody
wears these things.
208
00:10:23,238 --> 00:10:24,816
If all wear those,
how can you tell
209
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,534
difference between
braves and squaws?
210
00:10:26,558 --> 00:10:28,920
You don't have to worry
about Japanese men.
211
00:10:28,944 --> 00:10:30,472
They got some
very tough warriors.
212
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,374
They're called, uh, samurai.
213
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:34,125
Me like to try on kimono.
214
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:36,844
Me chief. Me try on kimono.
215
00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:38,713
Ah, here. Here.
216
00:10:38,737 --> 00:10:40,798
There we go, chief.
217
00:10:40,822 --> 00:10:43,451
Now just look at this.
218
00:10:43,475 --> 00:10:47,071
Now, chief, you look stunning.
219
00:10:47,095 --> 00:10:49,557
Yes, isn't that beautiful?
220
00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:51,143
Mmm!
221
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:53,311
Never feel anything
like this before.
222
00:10:53,335 --> 00:10:54,946
So soft.
223
00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:56,331
Let me feel.
224
00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:58,900
Ooh, what is this made of?
225
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:00,402
Worms.
226
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:01,786
You had to ask that.
227
00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:03,955
Now, look, I want you to
get your squaws started
228
00:11:03,979 --> 00:11:06,224
on reproducing all
these things right away.
229
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,375
Well, it not gonna be easy.
230
00:11:07,399 --> 00:11:09,945
Must go all the way
down to river for worms.
231
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,513
Craze, you don't understand.
232
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:13,682
You don't have the
right kinda worms here.
233
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,451
That's right. Look, we'll send
you up a lot of cotton material.
234
00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,720
Come on, Agarn, we
gotta get back to the fort.
235
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,994
Here, chief. Parasol.
236
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:24,514
It protects you from the sun.
237
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,413
Oh, good idea, Agarn.
238
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:31,032
Every summer, me
tired of being redskin.
239
00:11:31,056 --> 00:11:33,323
All right, come on, Agarn!
240
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,440
So long, fellows.
241
00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:41,192
Oh... Look, chief.
Topless moccasins.
242
00:11:41,216 --> 00:11:42,894
Look very comfortable.
243
00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:44,512
Why you not try them on, chief?
244
00:11:44,536 --> 00:11:46,247
All right.
245
00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:51,153
How it feel?
246
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,172
Oh! Just my size.
247
00:11:54,196 --> 00:11:55,696
Ten and a half, D.
248
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,147
Who are you? Me samurai.
249
00:12:03,171 --> 00:12:04,266
This is Chief Wild Eagle
250
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,651
and I'm his
assistant, Crazy Cat.
251
00:12:06,675 --> 00:12:08,469
You from Japan?
252
00:12:08,493 --> 00:12:10,204
Yes. I'm looking
for Japanese girl.
253
00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:11,356
Thought you were her.
254
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:14,442
They got to do something
about these kimonos.
255
00:12:14,466 --> 00:12:15,660
Hiding girl here?
256
00:12:15,684 --> 00:12:17,462
We not hiding girl here.
257
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,926
Whoever hiding
girl, samurai kill.
258
00:12:20,772 --> 00:12:23,284
We not know anything
about Japanese girl.
259
00:12:23,308 --> 00:12:24,402
You lie.
260
00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:26,270
And you not tell
me where to find her,
261
00:12:26,294 --> 00:12:27,689
I give you karate chop.
262
00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:31,960
Heard of lamb chop and pork
chop but never heard of karate chop.
263
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:33,184
Me show you.
264
00:12:37,505 --> 00:12:39,417
Agh!
265
00:12:39,441 --> 00:12:41,241
That's what I call a chop.
266
00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:44,573
To get to Fort Courage
267
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,974
you take the first road
as you leave the camp.
268
00:12:46,998 --> 00:12:49,744
You make a right turn at
the rock that looks like a bear.
269
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:52,785
Then make a left turn at
the bear that looks like a rock.
270
00:13:02,897 --> 00:13:05,376
I'm sure glad that Miko taught
us how to use chopsticks.
271
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,429
It, uh, makes eating
more of a challenge.
272
00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:10,014
That Miko, she
sure is a doll, sarge.
273
00:13:10,038 --> 00:13:11,883
Yeah, she sure is.
274
00:13:11,907 --> 00:13:14,351
She takes better care of
the captain than his mother.
275
00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:16,721
She sure does, sarge.
276
00:13:16,745 --> 00:13:19,508
What are you doing
eating with one chopstick?
277
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,143
Well, I'm on a diet, sarge.
278
00:13:41,019 --> 00:13:43,598
Uh-oh. Look.
279
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:46,217
Well, that's Janey.
280
00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:47,668
She's not due back till Friday.
281
00:13:47,692 --> 00:13:50,304
I know. And if she sees,
uh, Miko with the captain,
282
00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:51,706
she might get the wrong idea.
283
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:54,175
Come on, let's get outta here.
284
00:13:54,199 --> 00:13:58,146
Hey, Janey, Janey girl,
wel... Wel... Welcome home.
285
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,414
Boy, are we glad to see you.
286
00:14:00,438 --> 00:14:01,833
Well, it's nice to be back.
287
00:14:01,857 --> 00:14:02,950
Hey, a new outfit, huh?
288
00:14:02,974 --> 00:14:06,203
No. How's Wilton?
289
00:14:06,227 --> 00:14:07,972
Oh, he's fine,
fine. Fine, fine, fine.
290
00:14:07,996 --> 00:14:10,541
Little tired today. He's
been out scouting Indians.
291
00:14:10,565 --> 00:14:12,877
But will he be happy
to see you tonight.
292
00:14:12,901 --> 00:14:14,279
Oh, tonight. Yes.
293
00:14:14,303 --> 00:14:16,030
Now, how could he
be out scouting Indians
294
00:14:16,054 --> 00:14:17,415
when his horse is tied up there?
295
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:18,750
Ah, well, you see...
296
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,335
He's out on another horse.
297
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,103
He's out on another
horse. That's it.
298
00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:23,654
Another horse? That's right.
299
00:14:25,247 --> 00:14:26,741
His horse is lame. That's it.
300
00:14:26,765 --> 00:14:28,910
Not as lame as this
excuse you're giving me.
301
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,195
Wait, wait, wait, Janey!
302
00:14:30,219 --> 00:14:32,263
Don't you want us to tell
you how your store went?
303
00:14:32,287 --> 00:14:34,520
All the things we
sold... After I see Wilton.
304
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:40,627
Hi, Jane.
305
00:14:42,898 --> 00:14:44,158
Jane.
306
00:14:44,182 --> 00:14:45,643
Now I know why
O'Rourke and Agarn
307
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,977
didn't want me to come in here.
308
00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:48,863
No. Now, Jane, you've
got this all wrong now.
309
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:50,799
This is Miko Tanahara
from Yokohama,
310
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,433
a-and she's being
chased by a man.
311
00:14:52,457 --> 00:14:53,551
I can see that, Wilton.
312
00:14:53,575 --> 00:14:54,869
No, you don't understand.
313
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,771
See, we're giving her
protection of the fort
314
00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:58,806
as sort of hands across the sea.
315
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,725
I can see that too.
316
00:15:00,749 --> 00:15:02,582
Jane.
317
00:15:04,986 --> 00:15:07,198
Now I know why you
didn't want me to go in there.
318
00:15:07,222 --> 00:15:08,449
Hold it, hold it, Jane.
319
00:15:08,473 --> 00:15:10,518
O'Rourke is reading
smoke signals.
320
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,754
It's from Wild Eagle.
We got trouble.
321
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:15,840
You've got trouble,
what about me?
322
00:15:15,864 --> 00:15:18,009
Jane, you've got
to let me explain.
323
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:19,377
Please, captain.
324
00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:22,547
Sergeant O'Rourke is
reading smoke. See that?
325
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:27,469
"Samurai warrior come
to get Japanese girl.
326
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:30,905
"If not get her,
327
00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:35,810
knock down fort and
kill all men in F Troop."
328
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,946
What does that last
puff of smoke say?
329
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:40,047
Uh. "S-sayonara."
330
00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:41,749
This all my fault.
331
00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:45,136
Samurai is honorable bad
man who is chasing me.
332
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,754
Why'd you run away from him?
333
00:15:46,778 --> 00:15:49,807
Not run away. Never
even met samurai.
334
00:15:49,831 --> 00:15:51,776
Well, why is he chasing you?
335
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,479
Me running away from
house of honorable father
336
00:15:54,503 --> 00:15:56,897
who send samurai
to bring me back.
337
00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:58,900
Why don't you wanna
go back to Japan?
338
00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:01,102
If go back, must go through
339
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:04,038
with marriage honorable
father has arranged
340
00:16:04,062 --> 00:16:06,524
with a man I do not love.
341
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:08,476
Oh, sarge.
342
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,363
That's the saddest
thing I ever heard.
343
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,098
That's terrible.
344
00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:15,966
No father should arrange
a marriage for his daughter.
345
00:16:15,990 --> 00:16:19,286
Unless of course, my father
arranged one with you, Wilton.
346
00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:21,455
Janey, please, not
in front of the men
347
00:16:21,479 --> 00:16:23,291
or strangers from Japan.
348
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,226
Captain, I got an idea.
349
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,179
Janey, you take her and
hide her in your quarters.
350
00:16:28,203 --> 00:16:29,180
Duffy!
351
00:16:29,204 --> 00:16:31,499
Yeah, what is it, sarge?
352
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,518
Close that gate and
don't let anybody in.
353
00:16:33,542 --> 00:16:36,125
Right. Duddleson, shut the gate.
354
00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:43,278
Sergeant, what good is
closing the gate going to do?
355
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,696
Maybe if we all pretend
we're asleep, he'll go away.
356
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,481
Yeah, yeah, you
see, sir, I think at least
357
00:16:47,505 --> 00:16:48,733
we oughta buy a little time.
358
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,677
Well, maybe you're
right, sergeant.
359
00:17:04,222 --> 00:17:05,350
Open up gate.
360
00:17:05,374 --> 00:17:07,651
The gate is closed for the day.
361
00:17:07,675 --> 00:17:09,653
I warn you. Open up gate!
362
00:17:09,677 --> 00:17:12,645
I said, the gate is
closed for the day.
363
00:17:23,258 --> 00:17:25,403
What's wrong with a
prearranged marriage?
364
00:17:25,427 --> 00:17:28,222
Stall him, captain.
I got a plan.
365
00:17:28,246 --> 00:17:30,747
I hope your plan is
better than his plan.
366
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,905
You honorable
commander of this fort?
367
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:45,089
That's right.
368
00:17:45,113 --> 00:17:47,091
Me samurai warrior from Japan.
369
00:17:47,115 --> 00:17:50,011
Ask that you turn over to
me Japanese girl hiding here.
370
00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:51,979
Uh, well, first of all,
371
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,731
I think we ought
to discuss that gate.
372
00:17:53,755 --> 00:17:55,233
Gate? That's right.
373
00:17:55,257 --> 00:17:57,502
Uh, inasmuch as
it was slightly used,
374
00:17:57,526 --> 00:18:01,155
I think a fair price
would be, oh, $11.
375
00:18:01,179 --> 00:18:03,223
Or roughly 40 yen.
376
00:18:03,247 --> 00:18:04,992
We talk about gate later.
377
00:18:05,016 --> 00:18:06,210
Where is Japanese girl?
378
00:18:06,234 --> 00:18:07,561
I'll tell you what.
379
00:18:07,585 --> 00:18:09,030
I'll make a deal with you.
380
00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:11,866
Uh, you forget about the girl,
and we'll forget about the gate.
381
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,050
I warn you, captain,
382
00:18:13,074 --> 00:18:14,852
I did not come
here to play games.
383
00:18:21,483 --> 00:18:23,328
Now you owe us
for a hitching rail.
384
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,496
This is last time, captain.
385
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,248
I ask you give up the girl.
386
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,550
Look, Mr. Samurai,
387
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,134
we do things
differently over here.
388
00:18:30,158 --> 00:18:31,252
This is a free country,
389
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,153
and we believe that
no one has the right
390
00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:34,572
to run anyone else's life.
391
00:18:34,596 --> 00:18:37,107
And when we marry,
we marry for love.
392
00:18:37,131 --> 00:18:40,428
Yeah. Put that in your
ricksha and see how you like it.
393
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,184
Yeah, uh, captain.
394
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,700
Sergeant, you shouldn't
bring her out here
395
00:18:46,724 --> 00:18:47,852
in front of that samurai.
396
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:49,342
It's me, Wilton.
397
00:18:53,982 --> 00:18:57,199
Good thinking, sergeant.
Sarge, you're beautiful.
398
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,853
Uh, beg of you to speak English
399
00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:09,106
so as not to be rude
to honorable friends.
400
00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:11,342
Have been sent by
your honorable father
401
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:12,660
to bring you back to Japan.
402
00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:13,811
I go willingly.
403
00:19:13,835 --> 00:19:16,080
But first, must be
polite to kind friends
404
00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:18,282
and have farewell
dinner tonight.
405
00:19:18,306 --> 00:19:19,334
You may have dinner.
406
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:22,353
But we leave first
thing in morning.
407
00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:24,121
Uh, captain, shall I
play "Retreat" now?
408
00:19:24,145 --> 00:19:25,706
Uh, in a few minutes, Dobbs.
409
00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:27,308
Right, captain.
410
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,461
Well, Jane, you sure
look nice in Miko's outfit.
411
00:19:30,485 --> 00:19:32,930
Jane? Who Jane?
She not Japanese girl?
412
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,214
Oh, no, don't listen to him.
413
00:19:34,238 --> 00:19:35,366
Yeah, well, all right.
414
00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:37,935
All that bugling has
loosened his brain, you see.
415
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:41,372
You try to fool samurai.
This not Japanese girl!
416
00:19:41,396 --> 00:19:43,640
Of course this is Miko.
Jane has bow legs.
417
00:19:43,664 --> 00:19:46,077
Who has bow legs, Agarn?!
418
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,945
Now, now, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
419
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,020
Look, there's Japanese
girl. I know her anywhere.
420
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:54,905
Get him, Agarn.
421
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:10,852
Can I help you, ladies?
422
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,771
We're still running our special
on imported French corsets.
423
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:15,022
It's me, Vanderbilt.
424
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:16,274
Oh, hi, O'Rourke.
425
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,691
Never mind, Vanderbilt.
426
00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:19,260
Here, you get in
the backroom, Miko,
427
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:20,900
I'll take care of the samurai.
428
00:20:22,603 --> 00:20:24,682
Why, it's Captain Parmenter.
429
00:20:24,706 --> 00:20:27,685
Vanderbilt, just stand aside.
There might be some trouble.
430
00:20:29,544 --> 00:20:32,206
If you not turn girl over
now, samurai kill you.
431
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:33,625
Over my dead body.
432
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:34,842
Who is she, captain?
433
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:36,026
Never mind, Vanderbilt.
434
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,202
You don't scare me.
435
00:20:40,188 --> 00:20:41,315
She's a he.
436
00:20:41,339 --> 00:20:42,455
Get out of way.
437
00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:46,471
Better stay out
of this, Vanderbilt.
438
00:20:49,063 --> 00:20:50,983
Don't worry,
captain. I'll get him.
439
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,299
Two can play this
game, Mr. Samurai.
440
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:00,083
I'll get him this time, captain.
441
00:21:00,107 --> 00:21:02,041
Please, Vanderbilt,
I can handle this.
442
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:07,981
Agh!
443
00:21:13,471 --> 00:21:17,168
Ha! All right. All right. Now,
stand right where you are.
444
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:20,621
Go ahead and shoot, sergeant.
Samurai honor at stake.
445
00:21:20,645 --> 00:21:23,741
Would rather die than go
back to Japan without girl.
446
00:21:23,765 --> 00:21:26,627
Oh, never mind, men. Never
mind. I can take care of him.
447
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:30,898
Hook him up. Hook
him up. That's the way.
448
00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:32,683
Good thinking, sergeant.
449
00:21:32,707 --> 00:21:33,985
Thank you, sir.
450
00:21:34,009 --> 00:21:37,304
How much is the postage
to send him to Japan?
451
00:21:37,328 --> 00:21:38,589
Jane, I want you to make a list
452
00:21:38,613 --> 00:21:40,174
of everything that
he's broken here,
453
00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:41,458
and we'll add that to the bill
454
00:21:41,482 --> 00:21:42,960
for the hitching
rail and the gate.
455
00:21:42,984 --> 00:21:45,504
Captain.
456
00:21:46,904 --> 00:21:51,252
Please, Captain Parmenter,
beg you to release samurai.
457
00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:52,486
Why do you want me to do that?
458
00:21:52,510 --> 00:21:55,123
Miko has caused
all much trouble.
459
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:58,876
Will now obey honorable
father and return to Japan.
460
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:01,283
You sure that's
what you want, Miko?
461
00:22:02,771 --> 00:22:05,633
That's not what
I want, sergeant.
462
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,503
But it is best for all of us.
463
00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:12,027
In that case, take
off his corset, men.
464
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,066
When you want start
journey back to Japan?
465
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,184
Never.
466
00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:24,502
But I must return.
467
00:22:24,526 --> 00:22:27,004
Marry man of my father's choice.
468
00:22:27,028 --> 00:22:28,806
Things different over here.
469
00:22:28,830 --> 00:22:30,875
Free country.
470
00:22:30,899 --> 00:22:33,544
No one has right
to run person's life.
471
00:22:33,568 --> 00:22:36,297
When marry,
should marry for love.
472
00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:39,717
Is that what you going to tell
my father when you see him?
473
00:22:39,741 --> 00:22:41,853
Miko, I... I have an idea
474
00:22:41,877 --> 00:22:44,321
that he's not gonna
go back to Japan either.
475
00:22:44,345 --> 00:22:46,741
That would please Miko greatly.
476
00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:50,416
Oh, Wilton, it's love at
first sight. Just like us.
477
00:22:51,769 --> 00:22:54,465
Jane, please, I've told you.
Not in front of a samurai.
478
00:22:54,489 --> 00:22:57,489
Congratulations. You're
getting a wonderful girl.
479
00:22:59,093 --> 00:23:00,093
Agh!
480
00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:18,055
I want to thank all
of you for everything.
481
00:23:18,079 --> 00:23:19,106
Ah, you're gonna make
482
00:23:19,130 --> 00:23:21,625
a very pretty
pioneer girl, Miko.
483
00:23:21,649 --> 00:23:24,089
And get a load of
the Sukiyaki Kid.
484
00:23:24,935 --> 00:23:26,230
Here we go.
485
00:23:26,254 --> 00:23:28,299
Now listen, remember,
you can't use chopsticks
486
00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:31,185
on beef a-and pork
chops and things like that.
487
00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:33,003
You gotta learn how
to use a knife and fork.
488
00:23:33,027 --> 00:23:35,623
All right? There we
go. There we are.
489
00:23:35,647 --> 00:23:37,108
Good luck to you now.
490
00:23:37,132 --> 00:23:38,592
Thanks. Bye.
491
00:23:38,616 --> 00:23:39,616
Ho.
492
00:23:43,337 --> 00:23:44,420
Goodbye.
493
00:23:46,524 --> 00:23:49,003
Honorable captain.
494
00:23:49,027 --> 00:23:51,160
Honorable tea's ready.
495
00:23:53,564 --> 00:23:55,576
Uh, excuse me, gentlemen.
496
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,278
Yes, sir.
35819
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