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1
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[instrumental music]
2
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Hey, honey. What're you doin'?
3
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Just hangin' a little mistletoe.
4
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Uh. On the headboard, too.
5
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Mm, this year, I'm rigging all the hot zones.
6
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William Pearson, if there
is one of those tied to the..
7
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Oh! For God..!
8
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[laughs]
9
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And once again, I'll be going
mobile with my mistletoe hat.
10
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I thought that was lost
11
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- I found it. - I threw it away.
12
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- I went through the trash. - Ugh!
13
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You are such a dork
14
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but I love how excited you get about Christmas.
15
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I can't help it. It's the
most magical time of the year.
16
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Oh, man. He went through the trash after it.
17
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Did I not say "Burn it?" I said "Burn it."
18
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Hey, sweetie. What's up?
19
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:52,985
Uh, Scott invited me over
to his house tomorrow night.
20
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Is it okay if I go?
21
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Tomorrow night's Christmas Eve.
22
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You know, we always spend that night together
23
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as a family. It's a tradition.
24
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Just because we do it every
year doesn't mean it's a tradition.
25
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Well, your argument's not with me, sweetheart.
26
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It's with the dictionary.
27
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,266
And no, you're not spending
28
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:08,700
Christmas Eve with your boyfriend.
29
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Well, I did ask for disappointment this year.
30
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Looks like I got it.
31
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Why would she wanna go
32
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somewhere else on Christmas Eve?
33
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It's the greatest night of the year.
34
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She's just a smitten teenager.
35
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But she's always loved our little traditions.
36
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You know, decorating the tree
37
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me reading "The Night Before Christmas."
38
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The Pearson present express train.
39
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Well, her interests are changing.
40
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It used to be getting
presents, playing with dolls.
41
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Now it's clothes and boys.
42
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Next thing you know, she'll be-
43
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Alright, I don't know
44
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,331
where you're going with this..
45
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I'm just saying, the kids are getting older.
46
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But it shouldn't matter how old you are
47
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you should never lose that Christmas spirit.
48
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We just have to remind the kids how great it is.
49
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- How? - We'll go all out.
50
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You can make a really
special Christmas Eve dinner.
51
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Oh, unlike other years when I just crack open
52
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a can of beans, throw out five spoons
53
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and say,"Have at it?"
54
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I'm just saying we gotta do all we can.
55
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For the kids.
56
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:07,460
- Ugh. - Please?
57
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Alright, alright, I am willing to do my part
58
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,736
but you are gonna have to get rid of the hat.
59
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Okay.
60
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,508
You have another one of these, don't you?
61
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No...I have two.
62
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[theme music]
63
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- Uh, hey. - Hey, sweetie!
64
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:42,662
- Okay. - Alright.
65
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,664
I think I got everyone's favorites.
66
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Sweet potatoes and marshmallows for Lauren.
67
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Green beans and bacon for Bryan
68
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and canned cranberry sauce.
69
00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,439
So Trent can poke holes
70
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in the slices and make smiley faces.
71
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[laughs]
72
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I taught him that.
73
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I know.
74
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,181
Hey, did Bryan's telescope get here yet?
75
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I ordered it over a week ago.
76
00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:05,585
No. Did you pay for three day shipping?
77
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,686
Why pay for three day shipping
when seven days shipping
78
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,427
usually gets it here in three days?
79
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:11,925
But it didn't.
80
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,494
I'm a gambler, Susan.
81
00:03:16,832 --> 00:03:19,498
Hey, Trent. What're you doing?
82
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:20,666
I'm downloading some music
83
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,302
for my snowboarding trip.
84
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,403
In two days, I'll be doing a method air fakie
85
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:25,938
(Trent) 'with a front side grab off the walls'
86
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,575
and the sickest half pipe in the Rockies.
87
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:31,041
All I heard was blah, blah, blah, emergency room.
88
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,980
Alright, but report cards are coming today
89
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,481
so just remember our agreement.
90
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,462
You can't go on that trip if you get any Cs.
91
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:40,386
- Yeah, I know. - Or Ds.
92
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I don't remember agreeing to that.
93
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,823
No, I'm kidding. I'm in good shape.
94
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:46,658
The only class I was really worried about
95
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was chemistry, but I'm
pretty sure I nailed the final.
96
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,396
Great.
97
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,030
Hey, while you're making a playlist
98
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make one of Christmas songs.
99
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Ooh! Ooh! And put that barking dog
100
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:55,935
jingle bell song on there.
101
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:59,973
- Why? - 'Cause it's catchy.
102
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:03,042
Can you imagine having all
those talented dogs in one room?
103
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,214
Yeah. I'm gonna go do this upstairs.
104
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:09,615
Come on, Susan, sing with me.
105
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,718
"Ro, ro, ro.." Where are you goin'?
106
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:14,654
I'm gonna go help Trent with his lame excuse.
107
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:18,691
[knocking on door]
108
00:04:19,234 --> 00:04:22,327
Hey, neighbor. Merry Christmas.
109
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:25,965
Oh, and a very merry over-
hyped marketing scam to you, too.
110
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What can I do for you?
111
00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:34,973
You can turn off all the blinking lights
112
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:37,777
on your house. They're fading my curtains.
113
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:40,013
Come on, Mr. Faulkner It's Christmas Eve.
114
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No better time to reach
out and love thy neighbor.
115
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Are you coming on to me, Pearson?
116
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Hey, what are you doing later?
117
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,020
Why don't you have dinner with us?
118
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No, I'm not into this Christmas nonsense.
119
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Count me out.
120
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,070
Oh, Mr.Faulkner, you really should come.
121
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,094
Oh, well..
122
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:58,765
If the lady of the house insists, I'd be honored.
123
00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:02,635
- Great. Come about five. - See you then.
124
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,004
Oh, and no turnips. They give me gas.
125
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:08,274
Oh, did I hear you say you like turnips?
126
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,542
Love 'em!
127
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:11,911
And seat me next to this guy.
128
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,082
[instrumental music]
129
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,085
[instrumental music]
130
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:26,526
Hey, Bill. Merry Christmas.
131
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,160
- Merry Christmas, Paul. - Thanks.
132
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,895
Yeah, I thought your mom was coming town today.
133
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,066
Oh, yeah, she is, but before she gets here
134
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,933
I was wondering, could you do me a huge favor?
135
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,002
Sure.
136
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,169
Could you punch me in the face
137
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,838
as hard as you can?
138
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,706
I need for you to send me to the hospital.
139
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,609
You know, some place where
I can't have any visitors.
140
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,944
[chuckles] Why don't you
want to spend time with your mom?
141
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:48,748
It's nothing but constant criticism.
142
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,515
How come you don't call me more often?
143
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,956
How come you're not married?
144
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,588
How come you have so many
moisturizers in your bathroom?
145
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:57,457
Yeah, what is all that stuff for?
146
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,426
Bill, do you think this just happens?
147
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:04,430
Hey, here it is. The Pearson present express.
148
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:06,632
- Wow, you still doing this? - Mm-hmm.
149
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,433
Don't you think the kids are a little too old
150
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:09,668
to have their first presents
151
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,169
brought out on a choo-choo train?
152
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,740
No. The kids look forward to this every year.
153
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,140
It's their favorite tradition.
154
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:18,244
Without the train, it's just not Christmas.
155
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,445
[cellphone ringing]
156
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:21,514
Well.. Sorry, uh..
157
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:22,849
[phone beeping]
158
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:26,052
Hi, mom. Yeah, I'm at the airport right now.
159
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,169
I don't see you.
160
00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:33,726
Yeah, well, uh, I've been circling for an hour.
161
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:36,195
Okay. Yeah, I'll, I'll come around again.
162
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:41,634
Alright. Ooh. Wow, somebody's cranky.
163
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,681
She didn't have her peanuts on the plane.
164
00:06:43,682 --> 00:06:45,871
So you need some help with this?
165
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,540
- Paul, airport. - Okay.
166
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:50,543
[instrumental music]
167
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,614
- Hey, mom. - Hey.
168
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,617
So, uh, dad told me you
got me the telescope I asked for
169
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,385
and I just wanted to say thanks.
170
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,892
Oh, you're welcome, sweetie.
171
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,324
I just hope it gets here in time.
172
00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:06,559
It's not here?
173
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,859
Well, it has to be here by tomorrow
174
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,562
or I'm gonna miss the comet.
175
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,929
Well, look, I'm really busy, love.
176
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,330
If you want the tracking number
177
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:13,831
it's on your dad's nightstand.
178
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,839
Mm.. Boy, dinner smells great.
179
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,808
I know. It's Faulkner's turnips.
180
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,510
Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah!
181
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,912
You're not trying to sneak
out to go to Scott's, are you?
182
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,015
No, I'm just dropping off this gift
183
00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:31,818
for the underprivileged.
184
00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:35,321
Mm. Why does it say "To Scott?"
185
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:38,024
Are you trying to tell
me that in this whole country
186
00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:42,328
there's not one underprivileged
person named Scott?
187
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,530
[chuckles] That's crazy, dad.
188
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:45,798
I'll see you.
189
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:48,033
Lauren!
190
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,936
I just wanna give him his gift. Mom!
191
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,838
You can give it to him tomorrow.
192
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,573
Yeah, tonight's Christmas
Eve, and that's family time.
193
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:59,111
Is 364 days a year not enough for you people?
194
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:02,614
Alright, well, when you're ready, come on down.
195
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:03,950
We'll string popcorn.
196
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,285
[knocking on door]
197
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,555
Hey, Mr.Faulkner.
198
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,561
Come in. Can I take your coat?
199
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:28,674
This is for the missus.
It's a shampoo and conditioner.
200
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,610
So really, uh, two gifts.
201
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:34,647
Thank you. Honey, this is from Mr. Faulkner.
202
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:35,882
Huh? Oh, hey..
203
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,349
Okay, turn and look at his head.
204
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,118
Do it now. Do it now. Do it now. Do it now.
205
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:47,660
Thank you, M-Mr. Faulkner.
206
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,596
Please, call me Ernest.
207
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,099
- Ernest. - I also brought your mail.
208
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,201
- Oh, thanks, Ernest. - Watch your mouth.
209
00:08:57,103 --> 00:09:00,640
Uh, Trent, your report card's here.
210
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,542
Mm. Do I smell yams?
211
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:05,912
- Mm-hmm. - Mm-mm.
212
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:08,481
- Where are my grades? - Right here.
213
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,083
Hey, Mr.Faulkner.
214
00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:14,520
Will you excuse me for a minute?
215
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:16,722
- Is that happening? - Affirmative.
216
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:18,124
Outstanding.
217
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:21,727
Mr.Faulkner, I'm so glad you decided to join us.
218
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,328
Well, just because I'm here doesn't mean
219
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,898
I'm buying into any of your holiday hoopla.
220
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,899
Well, that's about to change,
because there's no better way
221
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,167
to get in the Christmas spirit
222
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,602
than to spend it right here with us.
223
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,005
What? I got a C in chemistry.
224
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,107
Now I can't go on my snowboarding trip.
225
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:36,309
Oh, I'm sorry, pal.
226
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,276
But, hey, tonight's not the night to get down.
227
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:39,712
This blows!
228
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,814
Your daughter seems pretty upset.
229
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:51,624
- That's Trent. - I thought her name was Tanya.
230
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,662
- No, his name is Trent.
- Oh, yeah. Here's Tanya.
231
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,798
No, that's Lauren.
232
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,031
Lauren, you ready to string popcorn?
233
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,734
I'm not talking to you!
234
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:05,237
It's like being in a Norman Rockwell painting.
235
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:08,975
My telescope is stuck in Detroit. Thanks a lot.
236
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,543
He knows about his telescope?
237
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,478
Well, the little sneak tricked me.
238
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,013
Well, great, now his best
present won't be a surprise.
239
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,534
Oh, now I'm starting
to feel that Christmas spirit
240
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,652
you were talking about.
241
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,487
? Fa la la la la la la la ??
242
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,589
[blows raspberry]
243
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:25,257
[instrumental music]
244
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,260
[instrumental music]
245
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,030
Hey, Scott, it's me again.
246
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,732
Um, not sure if you got my message.
247
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,668
- Call me. - Six times in an hour?
248
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:38,170
I think you're the one not getting the message.
249
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:41,641
And you're the one not
going on the snowboarding trip.
250
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:44,944
Uh, I-I should be going. I really studied.
251
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,751
I should've gotten an A on that test.
252
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:47,980
Yeah, how tough is it
253
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:51,217
to find oxidation numbers and ionic charges?
254
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:56,155
I should have gotten a B on that test.
255
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,493
I can't believe I'm gonna miss that comet.
256
00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,396
I'm going to be 40 years
old next time it comes back.
257
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:04,829
Don't worry, you'll be single
258
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,870
and will have plenty of time on your hands.
259
00:11:06,955 --> 00:11:10,802
Alright, everybody, I found something
260
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,637
that will take your mind off your troubles.
261
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:15,508
Finally, some booze.
262
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:18,144
Let's set up the landing
strip for Santa's sleigh.
263
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:19,978
Well, we don't want to put up too many lights.
264
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,212
We don't want any airplanes..
265
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:23,449
(all) Landing on our lawn.
266
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,856
Okay, you're right. Maybe it's too late for that.
267
00:11:25,857 --> 00:11:26,985
Alright, you know what?
268
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,219
Why don't we just skip forward
269
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:29,900
to a tradition I know you all love?
270
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:32,591
Let me get my Santa glasses, and we will read
271
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:34,226
"The Night Before Christmas."
272
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:36,429
- Dad, we did that already. - No, we didn't.
273
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,497
It was worth a shot.
274
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:42,100
Dad, do we have to listen to that this year?
275
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:43,835
Well, maybe Mr.Faulkner would like to hear-
276
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:46,305
Pass!
277
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,606
Alright, you know what?
Nobody lose your holiday spirit.
278
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:50,076
I'll be right back.
279
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,678
How long till dinner?
280
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,280
- 15 minutes. - 15 minutes?
281
00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:55,715
I'm dying in here.
282
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:56,949
Honey, I'm sorry
283
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,696
today's not going the way you want.
284
00:11:58,697 --> 00:11:59,884
Just got to find a way to get 'em
285
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,152
out of their own little worlds
286
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:03,289
and back into the Christmas spirit.
287
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,789
[snapping fingers] I got it!
288
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,892
Bill, if I see that mistletoe hat come out
289
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:09,095
I swear I will beat you with a turkey leg.
290
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:12,564
No, no. I'm talking about
breaking out the big gun.
291
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,133
The Pearson present express.
292
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,301
Already? But we always save
that for the end of the night.
293
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,404
Drastic times call for drastic measures.
294
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,038
I'm just trying to save our Christmas.
295
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:21,574
Come on, Susan.
296
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,642
Alright, everybody, all aboard.
297
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,043
The Pearson present express
298
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,113
is about to depart the North Pole.
299
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:30,349
Oh, I can't believe we're doing this already!
300
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,484
That's the spirit.
301
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:36,088
Next up.. Pearson family Christmas.
302
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:39,525
Now, as always, mom goes first.
303
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:41,961
[sighs]
304
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:46,031
[clattering]
305
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,733
- What the..?! - Is it broken?
306
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,400
Ooh, that could take a while to fix.
307
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:51,237
- I'm gonna go call Scott. - No, no!
308
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:54,740
I'll be the train. Okay, here we go.
309
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:58,711
- You're not gonna- - Woo-woo!
310
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,780
Alright, now, honey, don't forget
311
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:01,980
before you open it, you have to say
312
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,249
what you're grateful for.
313
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:05,885
Okay, I am grateful that we're all together
314
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,853
and that we have this special guest
315
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,255
to share in our joy.
316
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:11,557
My cheeks are on fire.
317
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:16,962
Oh, honey! Honey for my collection.
318
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:18,998
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
319
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:21,200
And because we do have a special guest
320
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,602
he gets a present, too.
321
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,337
Alright, but spare me the-
322
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:28,107
Woo-woo!
323
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,074
Alright now, Mr. Faulkner, don't forget
324
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:31,509
you have to say something you're grateful for
325
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,645
before you open it.
326
00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:34,680
Oh, I'm, uh, grateful for, uh..
327
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,215
[mumbling]
328
00:13:37,152 --> 00:13:40,118
I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
329
00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:42,339
That's because I mumbled a bunch of nonsense.
330
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,625
Hey, it's got my name on it.
331
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,963
That's very, uh. Very, very, uh..
332
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:53,833
Well, thanks. Who's next?
333
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:55,234
Well, that leaves the kids.
334
00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:57,436
So let's see who gets the next delivery.
335
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,505
Dad, do we have to keep doing this?
336
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,174
- Yeah, it's kind of lame. - Hey, come on, guys.
337
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,308
Yeah, what are you talking about?
338
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,810
You guys always love this.
339
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:06,617
We're not little kids anymore, dad.
340
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,984
Really? Is that how all three of you feel?
341
00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:16,956
Okay.
342
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,994
I give up.
343
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,633
[instrumental music]
344
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,739
You okay?
345
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,408
No. No, I'm not okay.
346
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:40,546
All I have heard all day
long is "Me, me, I, I, I."
347
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,182
When did our kids become so self centered?
348
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,949
I'm telling you, Susan,
it's like they could care less
349
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,000
that it's Christmas.
350
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:47,085
No, honey, they still care.
351
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:48,587
No, not like they used to.
352
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,122
Remember how Lauren used to try
353
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:52,524
to stay up all night
354
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,325
just so she could hear Santa's sleigh bells?
355
00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:56,528
And...Trent always begging us
356
00:14:56,595 --> 00:15:00,065
to go Christmas tree shopping in October.
357
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:02,101
Little Bryan would get so excited
358
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,434
when he smelled peppermint.
359
00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:04,770
[chuckles]
360
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,971
I mean, it seems like just
last year he ate that candle.
361
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:09,608
That was Trent, and it was last year.
362
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,346
We've done all we can do.
363
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,315
And tonight was a complete failure.
364
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,904
The kids have totally
lost their Christmas spirit.
365
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,723
[sighs] And that just breaks my heart.
366
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:30,029
We always tried to give the kids the feeling..
367
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,831
...that Christmas was a magical time..
368
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:34,578
...that all they had to do was embrace
369
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,736
the Christmas spirit and anything could happen.
370
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:40,203
Well, I think on some
level they still believe it.
371
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:42,007
I don't know.
372
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,312
Maybe they've outgrown it.
373
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,349
Maybe it's time I did, too.
374
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,092
Well, this is awkward.
375
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,364
What's Dad's deal?
376
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,966
Yeah, why can't he just accept
377
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,600
that we don't wanna do
this Christmas stuff anymore?
378
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:11,437
How many years is he gonna make us
379
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:14,506
listen to stories and get gifts on trains?
380
00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:16,875
You telling me he does this every year?
381
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:19,244
- Yeah. - Why?
382
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,712
What's the point of spending
383
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,982
all this time and money, turning a house
384
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,184
into some kind of a fairyland?
385
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,720
Exactly.
386
00:16:27,786 --> 00:16:30,356
Well, he clearly, he only does it for himself.
387
00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:35,094
Well, I don't think he does it just for himself.
388
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,729
Oh, sure he does, Tanya.
389
00:16:36,805 --> 00:16:40,231
I mean, do you think anyone would miss
390
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,534
uh, all these stupid Christmas stories?
391
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:45,738
Or the stockings? Or the choo-choo train?
392
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,109
I mean, well, the Pearson present express
393
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,344
is a lot better when it's working.
394
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:55,614
Yeah, well, it brought me
a cool set of headphones last year.
395
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,582
Yeah, but couldn't he
just leave 'em on the counter
396
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,150
so you could pick 'em up on your way
397
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,253
to wherever you're going on Christmas?
398
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,356
No. He wants us all to be together.
399
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,026
Well, I guess I was lucky.
400
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,259
My old man never bothered
401
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,062
with any of that Christmas stuff.
402
00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:12,498
What do you mean? Like no tree, no gifts?
403
00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:15,300
No, you never catch him pushing a train
404
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,469
around a track saying "Woo-woo."
405
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,271
[chuckles]
406
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,072
Sometimes when he'd get the whiskey spins
407
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:22,441
he'd go, "Woo-woo."
408
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,611
That wasn't quite the same.
409
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:30,816
Well, that doesn't sound
like much of a Christmas.
410
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,043
Yeah, but at least I didn't have to deal with
411
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:35,087
any of that family crap.
412
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,592
Look, I'm gonna get out of here while I can.
413
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:46,131
I'm just gonna take my, uh..
414
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:50,751
And, uh..
415
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,204
[mumbles]
416
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:56,608
[door opens]
417
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,310
[sighs]
418
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:02,414
[instrumental music]
419
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,417
[instrumental music]
420
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,825
You guys gonna stay out here all night?
421
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:14,293
It's Christmas Eve.
422
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,828
Yeah, it's time for dad
423
00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,754
to read "The Night Before Christmas."
424
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:21,333
You're gonna need this.
425
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,067
And you're really gonna need these.
426
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,471
[chuckles]
427
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:27,673
- You sure? - Yeah.
428
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:30,409
We want to do the poem and the train.
429
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:34,079
- And the landing lights. - Everything.
430
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:36,315
It's just not Christmas without that stuff.
431
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,789
And you were ready to give up.
432
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:47,860
[instrumental music]
433
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:50,529
"...But I heard him exclaim
as he drove out of sight
434
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:54,967
'Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night.'"
435
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,067
Yay!
436
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,118
[all applauding]
437
00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:58,604
Whoa. Who did that?
438
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,238
Looks like there's still some magic
439
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,907
to Christmas after all.
440
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,209
[knocking on door]
441
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:05,760
Scott?!
442
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,617
Sorry. I would have called,
but I've lost my cell phone.
443
00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:12,784
Really?
444
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:15,287
Wow. So did I.
445
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,623
If we find them, let's delete our messages
446
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:20,292
and never talk about it again.
447
00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:22,895
[cellphone ringing]
448
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:25,964
Hello? Really?
449
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:29,401
Well, I think Trent might
like to hear that from you.
450
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:32,704
- It's your chemistry teacher. - Hello?
451
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,472
Listen, I can't stay,
but I just wanted to give you
452
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:36,340
your gift so you'd have it on Christmas morning.
453
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,711
Oh, thank you. And here's yours.
454
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,447
- Oh.. Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
455
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:46,685
On the cheek, Romeo.
456
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:49,288
See you tomorrow.
457
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,591
She mis-graded my test.
458
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,927
- I got a B. - Oh, that's great.
459
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:57,596
Now you can hurt yourself
on that snowboarding trip.
460
00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:58,730
Yes!
461
00:19:58,797 --> 00:19:59,932
[knocking on door]
462
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:01,266
Oh.
463
00:20:02,653 --> 00:20:04,702
Hey!
464
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,437
I found this package on my front step.
465
00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:08,907
Must've been a delivery mix up.
466
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,309
It's my telescope!
467
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,844
Thanks!
468
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,512
Thanks for bringing it over, Mr. Faulkner.
469
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:16,448
Sure. Oh, and, uh..
470
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,653
...Merry Christmas.
471
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,868
Merry Christmas to you too, Mr. Faulkner.
472
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,397
All in all, not a bad night.
473
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:35,400
I gotta say, you really pulled it off.
474
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:38,036
Oh, it wasn't me. It's the spirit of Christmas..
475
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,304
Aw..
476
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,041
Oh.
477
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:46,044
["Oh, Holy Night" playing]
478
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,285
[gasps]
479
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:57,885
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