All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S11E13.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH_track3_[eng]

MADISON: Previously,
on Southern Charm...

What?

MADISON: While I was
celebrating the birth

of my perfect baby girl...

Shep took the gang to Mexico...

SHEP: Wow, beautiful.

♪ Ah ya ya ya ♪

MADISON: ...which had
Austen reconsidering

his position on salad.

AUSTEN: Audrey didn't
like salad.

So, talk about the ultimate
slap in the face

to, like, do something
with a salad.

Ah! Wow.

MADISON: And as Craig and
Charley continue to get closer,

Salley found that her friendship
with Charley

was getting further away.

MADISON: Meanwhile, when we all
got together for dinner...

Each person can pick someone
to their right or left.

Give them the thing
that they should work on.

MADISON: ...an innocent game
quickly went off the rails.

I would like to see Austen
stand up for himself.

[tense music]

Venita, you don't know
anything about me

and Austen's relationship.

If I had to close my eyes
and hear you talk about Austen,

I would say, that man doesn't
like you, with my eyes closed.

But you don't, because I don't
talk to you, Venita,

- because I don't know you.
- You don't. Yeah, you don't.

Okay, Venita,
you don't exist in my world.

So just [bleep] off.

♪♪♪

Oh, wow.

♪♪♪

Let's at least dial back
a little bit, if we can.

CRAIG: Absolutely not.

You can't be a bully,
and then get mad

mad when the person reacts.

- You are a bully.
- You got it, baby.

You-- You keep going.
You get it all out.

Get it all out, because you talk
about me online.

Get it all out, on the table,
in front of everybody.

Get it out.

Well, I don't comment about you.

You don't have to keep
making digs at me

when I've done nothing to you
in my entire ----ing life.

Oh, you've done nothing to me?

Remember when you said,
I don't want to be her friend--

I don't, because you
sh-- talked me.

What's your response to Venita

saying she's on Paige's
side in your breakup?

I'm not...
I won't be associated with her.

Do you think he should,
like, let everyone know

what Paige is or isn't doing?

Oh... yeah.

I think you should speak
your truth,

and let it be known
the same way you're speaking

your truth about
everything else.

What if he doesn't know?

Then stop answering like you do.

- Ooh! Period. Venita.
- Okay.

What she said about me
I didn't think was true.

And I think she was
just... regurgitating

gossip from the internet.

So, yeah, I'm not
friends with her.

That was none
of your business then.

You didn't know me and Paige.

And you're still
----ing doing it.

And it's bullsh--.

- Is the tantrum over?
- Like, just be nice.

Be a kind person.

Don't make fun of people's
breakups.

Don't talk sh-- to people.

- Don't do that stuff.
- All right, that's enough.

We're not going
to ----ing attack Venita.

Me and Venita,
we have our differences.

But that's my ----ing girl.

You might have some points that
you want to deliver to Venita.

But this is not
the way to do it.

CRAIG: I didn't start it.

I just heard
what she said to Austen.

What did she say to Austen?

It doesn't ----ing matter, guys.

It does matter. We're talking
about it right here.

She told Austen to stand up
against me and all this stuff.

- She knows what she's doing.
- Oh, okay.

- It's stupid.
- I said it in general.

I didn't make it specific,
because I didn't want to dig.

And I didn't want to jab.

CHARLEY: I think that Venita
definitely was antagonizing him.

And there was, like,
a repercussion to that

because Craig reacts
in the moment.

But I get it.

Like, if somebody does
something that upsets me,

I'm immediately like,
okay, like, bye.

Which is really ----ed up.

I have no doubt that you
have reasonable grounds

for your position.

I'm only looking out for you.

Well, it's over now.

VENITA: I'm disappointed
Austen doesn't have my back.

But I'm not surprised, because
he's not had his own backbone

against his own best friend
of nine years.

When Craig gets like this,
there's no point to jumping in.

I'm not going to get
in his line of fire.

Been there, done that.

Let's go to the bar.

Be right back, guys.

Well, now everyone's leaving.

No, just for a second.

This trip is about wellness
and healing.

That's what I want it to be.

But so far, it's not even close.

Of course, we're doing that
dumb game that I started.

Sorry. Yeah,
this is all my fault.

I'm a moron.

WHITNER: How are you doing,
Queen V?

Hi, Whit.
It said a lot to hear you

say that in that moment.

Well, I call the balls
and strikes as I see 'em.

He does.
He's a pretty good mediator.

And I know where
you're coming from.

But I also know
where he's coming from.

Making sure you understand
that you're not faultless here.

I think that
in the spirit of healing,

this would have been a great
opportunity for Venita

to have said something
less provocative.

But it led to some
further discussion.

- Roddy, watch out.
- Ai yai, yai.

Oh, thank you.

Look at that. Perfecto.

SALLEY: Oh,
that looks beautiful.

That's-- That's good.

Wow.

CHARLEY: This is really good.

SHEP: Right?
That's my favorite so far.

Are you going
to eat your lobster?

I actually have no appetite.

[tense music]

- Do you want my steak?
- AUSTEN: Yes.

That's a big piece.

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Salley and Austen laughing]

Oh, no. I'm done.
It was delicious.

Gracias. Thank you.

- Hey, guys, girls.
- Shep has the floor.

I think everybody's had
a long day of traveling.

So, tomorrow, two activities.

Surfing, and then ATVing
to a restaurant.

Maybe in the cold, hard light
of day tomorrow,

we can be a little more
calm with each other,

because that's kind of
why we're here.

RODRIGO: Let's go to a bar
on the water.

- I think so, too.
- [bleep] yes.

SHEP: Yeah.

I would like to, as well.

- So, no flan.
- No flan.

- No, no dessert.
- We're going to the beach bar.

Bye, everyone.

AUSTEN:

SALLEY:

Thank you so much.

[sighs] Okay.

- Party bus.
- Party bus.

Whoop! Whoop!

- Ooh!
- I got long legs.

- I wanted a Whitner.
- Daddy long legs?

Oh, God, I can feel
the heartburn setting in.

Feel the burn.

- Where's Salley?
- With Austen.

SHEP: Where are they?

Okay, close the van, please.

[van starts]

[door thudding]

[kissing noises]

[thunder rumbling]

[upbeat music]

[soft music]

Okay, I need, like, five.

[grunting with effort]

♪♪♪

Ah...

- MOLLY: There you go.
- Thank you.

- MOLLY: Thank you so much.
- Enjoy.

- Have a good day.
- Yay. Oh, this looks so yummy.

SALLEY: Charley!

What?

My head hurts.

CHARLEY: I'll come in there.

I'm still asleep.

SALLEY: Me, too.
I'm still drunk.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

What time did you
come back here?

I don't know.

- [laughs]
- What?

How was the kiss?

It was great.
It was a great kisser.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

CHARLEY: Oh, my gosh.

Austen's a really good kisser.

Yeah, he is.

- We went to the bathroom.
- CHARLEY: That's exciting.

I asked if he would walk me
to the bathroom,

and we got there,
and there was no one around.

It was, like, super private.

And I just pushed him
into the gentleman's room.

- Oh, my God.
- And shut the door.

[door thudding]

[kissing noises]

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, literally nothing.

No, we just sat on the couch
and talked...

for forever about nothing.

Like, come on.
That's just ----ing weird.

SALLEY: Do you want to go
have breakfast?

I might have breakfast
in the room.

SALLEY: Okay.

CHARLEY: And then go surfing?

And you're gonna go get
on an ATV with Austen?

Yeah. I don't want to ride
in his, though.

I mean, I will.

Okay, then he can ride on yours.

Aah!

- Hey.
- Oh, my God.

Did you go to the gym?

Damn, dude.
Gym sounds really nice,

but, yeah, I'm hurting.

Okay. ATV in?

Dude.

Do we have to, like, bring
a whole bunch of clothes and...

So, after-- what
we're wearing, and lunch,

we're gonna get ready there,
and then go to Sayulita.

I thought Sayulita
was in California.

- That's Sausalito.
- Oh. [laughs]

All right, I'm gonna get in
the shower and pack a day bag.

- All right, scoot over, you.
- Oh, my God.

Scoot over, you.

How's Venita doing?

That's a great question.

You haven't talked to her?

I haven't left the room.

- Okay.
- I just, yeah.

[sighs] You know, um...

I feel bad, because I feel like
she deserved a good friend,

and, you know, I just,

I dropped the ball there.

- Have you talked to her?
- No. I feel like I should.

I feel bad for her.

- Yeah.
- She got steamrolled.

- Oh, for sure, dude.
- Yeah.

[knocking]

VENITA: Hello?

- MOLLY: Hi, it's Molly.
- VENITA: Hi.

You can come in.

- You can come in.
- MOLLY: It's locked.

Oh.

Wait a minute.

Hi.

How are you feeling?

Um... You know,

not great.

- [groans] Sorry.
- Not great.

Are you gonna do
any of the things today?

What are the choices?
Are we doing what?

There's ATVing,
or there's learning to surf.

VENITA: Oh,
who's doing what, though?

I'm assuming Craig
is doing ATVing.

I think most people
are doing ATVs.

Um, if you go surfing,
I might go with you.

I don't want to do anything
that Craig's involved in.

Salley...

[sighs]

[tense music]

MADISON: Coming up...

- CRAIG: Stop.
- Why are you yelling at me?

Because you keep getting
involved with sh--

that has nothing to do with you.

- I never-- I--
- Leave me alone!

[upbeat music]

So, who do we think's
going surfing?

I think it's just me,
Whit, and Shep, right?

What up? Hey, girls.

Ready for some activities?
Are you on my team today?

Yeah, I am.

- Oh, but your bag is blue.
- Hey, baby.

- What's up?
- I like it.

Where's your bag?

What?

I like these.

- Looking good.
- You look good.

There might be, like,
some loose rocks that fly up

- and nick you.
- That's okay.

- Okay. Oh, you like that.
- Yeah, I do.

Yeah, okay.

- Are you excited to surf?
- I'm very excited to surf.

- I'm really scared.
- Hello.

- Hey!
- May I have two Coors Lights,

and two bottles of water,
please?

Good morning, good morning,
good morning.

What's up, party folks?

- Hello.
- Ready to go surfing?

Yes, sir.

SALLEY: Oh, look at this sexy
mother----er.

- AUSTEN: Hola, amigos.
- SALLEY: Hey.

How's it going?

[wolf whistle]

Hello!

- Oh, I love that outfit.
- Thank you.

Who are we waiting on?
Venita, and...

No. But she's...

She's just going through it.

- WHITNER: Whoa.
- Oh, my word.

I can't believe that hat
made it through the door.

VENITA: I know.
I was a little nervous.

You look amazing.

All right. All right.

I'm gonna give you your space,

but I want you to know
that I love you.

And you look amazing.

Okay, guys, let's go.

First van is ATV.
Second van is surfing.

SHEP: Have fun.
Don't let anyone drown.

You're bringing a full bag?

What are you, Diana Ross?

Get up on the surfboard.
Have fun.

Molly, can't wait
to see pictures.

What does that even mean?
Wait, have fun.

Oh, my God. I don't want
to see any pictures of me.

Make it to lunch safe, okay?

I've never surfed before,

but I might just sit
on the beach and watch.

No, no, no,
the beach is amazing.

Yeah, I'm excited to see it.

Now, we all have seen
what it looks like

when I get into water.

[Venita screaming]

SALLEY: Is she okay?

Is she drowning? Oh, my God.

- CRAIG: Okay, I got her.
- She can't swim?

Holy sh--! Craig just jumped in.

- SALLEY: Oh, my God.
- SHEP: Craig!

So, I'm just gonna watch
everyone else.

All right, ladies
and germs, ready.

[upbeat music]

It's Saturday in Mexico?
Let's go.

There's the water.

- 15 years?
- Charley was only four.

No, no, no, no.

♪♪♪

Okay, we're here,
ladies and gents,

we're gonna go to the surf shop,
get our sh-- and go.

Oh!

[speaking Spanish]

Bien. We know how to surf.
The girls need an instructor.

All right.
If you are good surfers,

those, you can pick out
one of the boards.

I heard there's, like,
actual bobcats

and sh-- you have
to look out for.

- Here?
- Yeah, they're everywhere.

- Everywhere?
-Like, if you see a bobcat,

like, don't [bleep] with it.

- What do you do?
- Hit the gas and take off.

[all laughing]

- Welcome, welcome.
- SALLEY: What's up?

- Hola, hola.
- Hi, hi, hi.

- Hello. Hi.
- Hola.

So, we're gonna go
to jungles, beaches,

and tequila-tasting,
so follow your guides.

I'm choosing this one.

Ah, my new steed.

Put the bands on.

I want that one. Mexican.

- The Mexican one. I'm Mexican.
- Exactly!

I love being Mexican.

I'm so proud of my heritage,

but I wish I could roll my R's.

I mean, I can't even say
my own name properly.

R-R-Rodrigo. [laughs]

It doesn't sound right.

- WOMAN: Okay.
-[horn honking]

[speaking Spanish]

Rod, you better not hit me,
mother----er.

Woo!

Kiss my ass, losers.

Woo!

All right, guys.

Welcome to La Lancha.
Look at the waves.

It's good.

It's really good.

This is stunning. Wow.

- Where do I paddle out?
- There.

You see those surfers out there?

[energetic music]

Oh, look at Shep.

Oh, look at that.

[cheering]

- Me first.
- All right.

Fabulous.

♪♪♪

I surfed once,

maybe 22 years ago.

For some reason,
I never got into it.

But now that I'm doing it,
I'm like,

oh, I've been missing this
my whole life? Jeez.

MAN:

I feel like I could be good
at surfing.

[screams]

Just not right now.

[screams]

Woo!

Arriba!

You almost hit me.
You little mother----er.

WOMAN: Okay, guys, you can take
your helmets off.

Now we're gonna walk
towards the beach.

Salley, it looks like
you're about to go

to ----ing an OB-GYN.

- You want to take a look?
- Kinda.

Wait, wait.
How long are we walking?

No, seriously. How long
is this hike to the beach?

Five minutes, dude.

Oh, I almost had
a ----ing heart attack.

Except I'm not having one now.

[all laughing]

Wow.

I'm getting in that bitch.

AUSTEN: This is pretty great.

The water will suck you right
out to the ----ing...

I just hope it sucks me dry.

[all laughing]

- Oh, that feels good.
- How's the water?

Really, really ----ing
nice, yes.

It's like lukewarm perfection.

I don't think I've ever
had my shoes on

at the beach this long.

I might just get in
with my shoes on.

- Is that crazy?
- Yes.

Is it, though,
with all the coral?

- That's ----ing insane.
- Okay.

Are you staring at her tits,
Whitney?

No, I saw her changing,
and I turned around.

She took off her top, and what,
he just walked over there,

and goes...

You know, we're all single
for the first time.

Me, you, Shep.

- Whitney.
- Dude.

I'm gonna toot my own
horn for a second now.

Last night, Salley followed me

into the bathroom
at the restaurant.

And I was like,
"Can I help you?"

She was like, "Oh, come on."

And so we made out.

Nice.

Because I respected the move.

I, like, respected the move.

Even though I never wanted
to have more first kisses,

they are, like, the best.

They're just fun.

- I think that like--
- Making out's fun.

I wanna make out
with people for a bit.

I think that that's like,
what I wanna do.

Yeah.

It's the first time since Audrey

that I've just been,
you know what?

Like, you're allowed
to do these things now.

Well, yeah, you can't regret
making out.

No, you can't.

In fact, I mean,
you wake up the next day

and you're like, hee-hee.

Yeah, I don't regret it.

And I don't have guilt about it.

But anyways, what's going on
with you and Charley?

You know, we've gotten
pretty close.

And her and I have been
hanging out a lot.

And, like, I haven't told
anyone.

Out of, like, respect for her.

And she's, like, trying
to keep things, like, private.

- Okay.
- But we have kissed.

Wow.

I know, it was amazing.

Did Charley tell...

Salley?

No, like...

Why doesn't she want
people to know?

I don't know.

When we're by ourself
in Charleston,

it's so fun.

And then when we get,
like, around Salley,

she's so scared to like me.

MADISON: Coming up...

MOLLY: How did you feel
when Craig did that?

Did that make you feel, like,
gross about him?

It's not a good look,
but also, I'm not his keeper.

[upbeat music]

- Hi!
- What's up, Moll?

VENITA: Hi, girlie pop!

Surfing, how was it?
Did you have a good time?

It was good, it was nice.

- I thought it was really fun.
- I got up every time.

Not, like, amazing.
The last time,

the last two times
were the best.

Did you get any, like,
direction on the wave?

- Yeah, yeah.
- VENITA: Yeah?

What did that feel like?

- It felt... powerful.
- VENITA: Yeah?

Yeah, I'm like,
I'm making this wave my bitch.

No, I wasn't that good,

but I could be one day.

So, what, we're all
convening to have lunch?

With those who we don't want
to ----ing eat with?

MOLLY: Yeah.

We're gonna eat lunch
with bullies?

MOLLY: How did you feel
when Craig did that?

Did that make you feel,
like, gross about him?

I mean,
because if he can blow up

on someone,
he can blow up on anyone.

And that was quick.
He didn't even say his name.

I didn't say his name.

No, I mean [beep], I--

It's not a good look, but also,
I'm not his keeper.

You know, like, I just
don't want people looking at me

being like, really, really?

It's like, okay,
he's his own person.

He's his own person,
sure, but, like,

you know, if someone's out
there acting a ----ing fool,

I'm not gonna be like,
oh, well, you know, we're great,

and I'm dating him,
but he's his own person.

I'm gonna let him go do
this ----ed-up thing.

I wouldn't do that, either.

Do I agree with the way
Craig was speaking to Venita?

No. But, like, I'm in Mexico.
I want to have fun.

I don't want to have this,
like, serious conversation.

Tide's coming up.

Our boards are about
to be taken out to sea.

- Oh, yeah.
- VENITA: Hi.

Dude, we got here
at the perfect time.

The waves suck now.

That was fun. I'm
glad that we did that.

- Y'all ready?
- VENITA: Yeah.

- Let's pack it up, pack it in.
- CHARLEY: Gonna miss lunch!

Tequila!

Woo!

♪♪♪

That was awesome.

Thank you so much.

GUIDE: Well, enjoy
your tequila testing.

- AUSTEN: Thank you.
- I'll have some tequila myself.

♪♪♪

CRAIG: Is this aloe?

- AUSTEN: No, this is agave.
- It is?

WHITNEY:
----ing burnin' up.

Haven't been out
in the sun since 1989.

We know.

- Hello.
- Hi, there.

How are y'all?

Good, sweaty from
a four-wheeling tour.

Take a load off, relax, have
some of our tequila margarita.

CRAIG: I really needed that.

Wow, this is smooth.

I'm going to change.

We have a nice, big bathroom
in there if you want to do that.

Oh, my gosh.
Look at that dog.

CRAIG: He knows where
the air conditioning is.

AUSTEN: Oh, my God.
That dog is unbelievably cute.

That dog lives a good life.

Hey, boys, I'm back.
Did y'all miss me?

I bet you did.

Have you talked
to anyone surfing?

No, I don't have service.

Well, let's
drink another margarita.

- Let's do that.
- I mean, all right, I guess.

Let's, uh, why not?

I got to go find the bathroom.
But I'll be right back.

Okay, okay. I--

I was just curious
if you knew that

Craig's been
making out with Charley?

What the [beep] ?

That's what
he told me on the beach.

I mean, that's weird.

Like, what the [bleep]?

I have given her my blessing.
I am like, go for Craig.

Do whatever you want.
Like, I don't care.

Just don't lie to me.
But that's ----ing nutty.

It's frustrating for me because
I have been very up front...

Raise your hand.

Whoa. I'm--

Thank you.

How do you say
"shook" in Spanish?

"Yo shook."

You're a good kisser.

Ooh, how pretty.

Is this where we're going?

WHITNER: That makes sense,
because it's an agave field.

- MOLLY: This is really cool.
- VENITA: It's beautiful.

SHEP: Here we go.

Gracias, mi amigo.

We're going to be crawling
out of this ----ing place.

AUSTEN: Hey. What up?

- Epic surf.
- Yes!

Epic surf.
Like, just sick.

I caught, like, four
of the best waves

I've caught in a few years.

Ow, did I just
get poked by agave?

Oh no !

- Did you get up? Really?
- CHARLEY: Yeah.

Yeah. I've done it before,
but...

We went to the beach
and the waves were great.

The guys are going to have
like, some welcome margies here.

They're really refreshing.

I got up!

Guys, I'm going
to take you through

our little experience here.
Let's roll up here.

So what we're going to do is
just walk into our little garden

and if you guys want to pick,
bite, sniff,

- anything there you can.
- SALLEY: Austen.

Yeah, not each other,
the plants.

Well, that's no fun.

And then in a few minutes we'll
go sit down and do a tasting.

Hey, I've been meaning
to talk to you today

about what happened at
the dinner table last night.

'Cause I just wanted
to say something.

I appreciate it.

So you didn't think, like,
"You didn't get my back."

It was just like, I didn't
expect it to get out of hand...

Anything would have been good,
but I really got nothing.

If it was roles reversed,
I'd have been like,

[bleep] you,
don't talk to her like that.

- Yeah.
- Done.

Okay. No. Well, noted.

But, you know, it's fine.

Not it's fine, but I appreciate
you coming and talking to me.

Yeah.

I'm embarrassed that I didn't
have my friend's back,

but it is a bit refreshing
that Venita understands

how things work
in a normal friendship.

Real people
are able to work out sh--,

and real friends
are able to work out sh--.

Craig treats people badly,
and I don't like that.

There are two versions of Craig.

- Craig and Craig and Craig?
- Yes.

I've been saying this for years.

Mm?

Last night,
Craig was at the dinner table.

Today, I mean, Craig,
he's been out in full force.

Mmm.

MADISON: Coming up...

Who's getting
on the bar for body shots?

MOLLY:
I was about to say Salley.

She raised her hand
before I could even say it.

Holy crap.

♪♪♪

Try this, go get one.

Stevia is just
a sweet-ass thing.

All right, boys and girls,
we're gonna start this tasting.

as soon as you guys want,
we can go in here.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, well, [beep] it,
let's go rejoin.

- Yeah, let's go rejoin and eat.
- Get a margarita.

WHITNER:
I love this kitchen setup.

Open kitchen.
It's beautiful.

Just cool.

I'm excited about this. Hey.

Oh, man.

All right, sit here?

Austen, please.

Austen just
always disappoints me.

Like, if anyone
ever treated Austen

the way Venita's
been treating me,

I wouldn't be, like...
buds with her.

MONTY:
All right, so who wants

- to have some tequila?
- [murmuring agreement]

I'm gonna grab a bottle.

Okay, so in Mexico,

a tequila
tasting is called a cata,

- and that's what we're doing.
- Oh, thank you.

We're gonna
pour two Blanco tequilas

into these little glasses
in front of you.

- Damn.
- And give you guys some food.

For the food pairing.

The thing on the far
left is a cactus salad,

and then with our ceviche.

Let's start with
the tequila on the far left,

and then have some of the salad.

- Cheers.
- Cheers, guys.

The citrus in the salad
will accentuate

the citrus in our tequila.

That is delightful.

I don't think
I've ever had cactus.

Delicious.

The second one right here,

this is the epic strength,

which is 48% alcohol.

Give it a little nip
on the tongue,

just to get your mouth
ready for it.

- [Venita coughing]
- [hissing]

- VENITA: Yes!
- Whoa.

MONTY: And I would
try it with our ceviche.

Yum. Right?

I mean, that's hot
from the inside out.

It tastes good, though.

SALLEY:
Can I get another water?

Another glass of water?

MONTY: So,
the second cool thing,

we're about to give
you guys some reposados.

You see the different colors?

One of them was rum barrel,

and the other one
was a Merlot wine barrel.

Christian will pour
you guys a repo.

You just say rum or wine.

SALLEY: You didn't even know
it's called a merlot.

- It's my Mer-lot in life.
- Rum, please.

All right, amigos.

I'm gonna let
you guys get into your drinks

and your food here.
We're gonna have more

- food coming on the table.
- AUSTEN: Oh, hell, yeah.

Is this like
a Mexican street corn?

- MONTY: Cheers, guys.
- Thank you, Monty.

- Thanks, Monty.
- Salud. Enjoy the tequila.

- Why is all the rum gone?
- CRAIG: I know.

That's all I want to do, is be
----ing Jack Sparrow.

It's never enough.

Rod, are we doing
a tour of Sayulita after this?

Yes.

It's a fun place.
There's multiple bars.

It's kind of like King Street,
Mexico-style.

We have a hotel there.

We can all
just change and shower.

- Together? Shower?
- If you want to.

I'm a big shower guy.

I think I'm a heels guy.

Like a heels
and short dress guy.

- Porn star.
- Sh--!

I just really like stuck porn.

- What's that mean?
- You're stuck, like...

Your arm is stuck in something?

You're like, oh no, I'm in
the dryer and I can't get out.

What are you doing
back there, stepson?

- Oh !
- Oh no!

VENITA: Stepson?

I wonder,
but I don't want to see what

Austen's Pornhub
search history is.

Oh no, I'm stuck
at this tequila tasting.

Gross.

Oh, whoa.

MOLLY: Oh, pork...
Chicken, please.

Chicken.

SHEP: Y'all,
how great has lunch been?

That chicken with the red salsa
is the best.

WHITNEY: Chew with
your mouth closed, please.

RODRIGO:
Did you guys have a good day?

Yeah, we had a great day.
We had some fun surfs.

The ATVs were definitely
the highlight

of my day, for sure.

I loved four-wheeling
with you guys, it was sick.

My high of
the day was making Whitney

suffer through us
having fun on the beach,

and he was like,
ugh, I don't touch sand.

Sand, the heat,
the filthy water, being moist.

Throughout the whole day.

It's just
an unpleasant experience.

Did you hear me complain?
I was reading

the New York Post in the shade.

These mother----ers are
trying to solve world hunger.

SHEP: What'd you guys
talk about on this beach?

None of anyone's business,
except me and Austen.

All right. My high
of the day is that everyone

got to have fun adventures,
and no one's fighting.

WHITNER: How about
that last part again?

Today was a hugging day.

Wait, wait.

- We haven't gotten dinner yet.
- CRAIG: No.

MADISON: Coming up...

I don't care about Craig.
I care about our friendship.

Our friendship is fine.

The girls are fighting.

You might feel
that our friendship is fine,

but I'm the one
that's being, like, lied to.

♪♪♪

[horns honking]

I got next shower.

CRAIG: It's kind of cool
that we're checking into a hotel

to just get ready.
It's kind of baller.

- Are we all ready?
- Yep.

- Let's go.
- Got all our stuff?

All right, let's go.

CRAIG: Everyone be careful.
It's slippery over there.

Hey, we're going up here, y'all.

You are Pouty McPouterson.

I just need a kiss, baby.

AUSTEN: Oh, my God.

Would you be like
a nightmare to date?

No. I'm actually quite lovely.

Really?

Yeah, I do
everything for my man.

Hello, why are
you bringing up dating me,

you want to date me?

♪♪♪

Hey guys, do you have
a favorite local tequila?

Yeah.

Can we have ten shots of
that with orange slices, please?

Do you all do espresso martinis?

Yeah, of course.

Can we have an espresso
martini for the lovely lady?

AUSTEN:
I'll take an espresso martini.

SHEP: Cerveza, por favor.

VENITA: Thank you so much.

CRAIG: Whoever's left
down here, anyone?

Here's my card.
Can I just keep it going?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Can I come back there to cheers?

- Yeah.
- What?

Everyone, cheers to Shep
for bringing us to Mexico.

We may hate each other at times,

but hopefully
we love each other more.

- [cheering]
- Salud!

I'm really happy to see
all of us having fun.

[speaking Spanish]

This is the reason
we're down here.

BARTENDER: If you are hungry,
just let me know.

Chicken, steak, cheese, shrimp.
Two, two, two, two, two.

Okay, perfect.

- Thank you.
- All right.

Who's getting
on the bar for body shots?

MOLLY: Chime!
I was about to say Salley.

She raised her hand
before I could even say it.

We obviously
know Salley's first up.

Only if you're taking the shot.

- No.
- It's okay, don't be a pussy.

Hey.

MOLLY: When people say
don't be a pussy,

it's kind of funny because...

Nuts are really sensitive,
but pussies take a pounding.

SALLEY: Twist my arm.

- Can we have a lime?
- Over here, I got one.

All right, there we go.

Where does the salt go?
Does it go here?

You put that salt
wherever you want that salt.

- Austen !
- Oh, thank you, thank you.

This is crazy.

I'm trying, I'm trying.

- Yeah.
- Okay, Rod.

Oh my God.
Oh my God, so much.

VENITA: Oh my God.

Come here.

[cheering]

Holy crap.

What happens in Mexico
does not stay in Mexico.

I have to go to church.

Well, lucky
for whoever gets that one.

That was ---ing ridiculous.

For the shots we did,
I'm going to buy the bottle.

- But you have to pour it.
- Can I come around?

Yeah, yeah. He said go.

MOLLY:
Are you our bartender?

- AUSTEN: Yeah, yeah.
- Are you gonna--

I bought the bottle of tequila,
so we're just

- going to pour it out.
- Oh, fun. Okay.

I'm a bartender, so now I want
to hear about y'all's problems.

- Bartender?
- Yes, sir.

Bottle, shot.

Craig feels like
getting ----ing hammered.

Craig, after a couple of drinks,
becomes more interesting.

Until he reaches the precipice.

Hey, Craig, no more shots.

And falls off a cliff,
and that's when I'm like,

Jekyll and Hyde. Then,
I don't like Craig drinking.

Hey, nobody gets hurt.

- Hey.
- CRAIG: Go all in over here.

Hi!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AUSTEN: Uno, dos, tres!

CRAIG:
I love that so much.

Sh--!

Wow.

This friend group is insanity.

Oh, God, look at Charley.

Charley is doing this.

My first thought was like, damn.

That sucks that she felt
like she couldn't call me

and tell me,
right after it happened.

Okay, we kissed.
And it was like, nothing crazy.

Oh, my God.

It was a kiss that
I really just did not want

to tell you about. Sorry.

And now you know about it.
The end.

I don't care that y'all kissed.

I care about our friendship.

Our friendship is fine.

- I am sorry.
- I don't feel that way.

Fighting. The girls--
The girls are fighting.

Look, I--

You might feel
that our friendship is fine,

but I'm the one
that's being, like, lied to.

Salley, like, I mean--

AUSTEN: Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Salley, guys.

I know.

Okay, look,
I'm not denying the fact

that the second that it changed

was whenever I went
on the date with Craig.

I think that was just whenever
I came to my turning point,

with him and this entire group,

that I was like, oh,
sh--, I don't actually want

to hear and share
everything with Salley.

- Then don't.
- I haven't.

And now I'm getting
like, absolutely...

Because you didn't tell me.

I did. Maybe
you weren't listening.

You might feel
that our friendship is fine,

but I'm the one
that's being, like, lied to.

Okay, look,
I'm not denying the fact

that the second that it changed

was whenever I went
on the date with Craig.

That was my turning point,

with him and this entire group,

that I was like, oh,
sh--, I don't actually want

to hear and share
everything with Salley.

- Then don't.
- I haven't.

And now I'm getting,
like, absolutely--

Because you didn't tell me!

Well, I did!
Maybe you weren't listening.

You came to me and said--
like, I was-- don't do that.

Can I have a water?

I don't care who you're
making out with, whatever.

All I'm saying is there
was a shift in our friendship,

and that's what I'm upset about.

Am I wrong?

It sucks to feel like
you're willing

to put him above your friend.

Just kind of hurts,
I don't know.

Amigos, we're
gonna close in 20 minutes.

- You are okay?
- Yeah.

SHEP: Hey, everybody,
we are going back to the hotel.

- Woohoo!
- Let's go.

- We're leaving?
- Vamanos!

I would love to get
out of this conversation.

How are you feeling right now?

Is it because you thought maybe
she was gonna go tell everyone?

No, it was honestly
because I just like,

didn't want to talk
to anybody about it.

WHITNEY: Let's get the [beep]
out of here.

- SHEP: Vamanos!
- Vamanos.

♪♪♪

Hey, surfing right here
and ATV right there.

All right.

VENITA: Oh my God, so much
sexual activity for one night.

- Y'all are in there.
- All right, perfect.

See you back there.

[grunting]

Yeah, Salley has said
that she feels like

I'm not being truthful.

And I have taken a step
back from our friendship.

And I like,
all of a sudden understood

why like,
every time you're with her,

things change with us.
Like Salley--

That's why I like,
created a boundary with her,

and I was like,
I just don't want

to talk to her like,
about Craig.

But it was also
killing me by being like,

why do we have to hide this?

CRAIG: Come here.

- Where's Charley?
- WHITNEY: Talking to Craig.

This is absolutely dumb.
We need to go back.

Salley was yelling
at you about us.

- That was insane.
- I was honest.

And I was like, he knows
I enjoy spending time with him.

I'm going to keep
spending time with him.

- What?
- She's kind of cool.

CRAIG: I'm happy
that Charley has it in her

to stand up to Salley.

Because we really
like each other. And it's cute.

Oh my God, it's an hour drive ?

SHEP: Let's go. What is he
doing? Where is he going?

What? No.
No, I don't want that.

What the [beep] is going on?

Craig!
What the [beep] are you doing?

We gotta get the [beep]
out of here, Charley.

Why would we leave?

What are we,
caged Bengal tigers?

We gotta get out of here, dude.

What's going on?

Yeah, we need to get
the [beep] out of here.

Yeah, it's an hour-long
drive, all right?

It's time.

CRAIG: I bought a bottle
of tequila and beer.

- I got cigarettes.
- I want to go.

I got tequila,
and beer and cigarettes.

Go!

We're ----ing going,
Shep, god damn it.

- [beep] off.
- We're good to go.

Hey, look what I found.

It's a bottle of tequila.

- Austen.
- It's insane.

Craig, I...
drank tequila all night.

- Why would I start now?
- 'Cause you're my friend.

Oh my God. Craig.
That was insane.

With your hair going into
your face like that?

CHARLEY: Oh my God.

AUSTEN: Craig, be nice.

Why are you looking at me
like that?

Because you just told
me to shut the [beep] up.

The next time you tell
me I'm crazy, I'm done.

Craig, chill.

You are freaking out
about nothing right now.

What are y'all talking about?
What are y'all talking about?

No, it's what is he talking
about, not me.

You're so dumb.
Leave me alone, please.

You are never
in the wrong, ever.

Like, you never
own up to your sh--.

I'm not gonna
let you do this to me.

- I'm not.
- I'm not doing anything to you.

I'm just telling you I'm
removing myself from your life.

Craig, don't do this sh--.
Don't be an asshole.

- Just [beep] off.
- Craig, Craig, stop.

[phone dinging]

So apparently,
Craig is going crazy in the car.

Austen, he is 100 out of 10.

Sh--

- SALLEY: Craig, calm down.
- Stop!

Why are you yelling at me?

Because you keep
getting involved with sh--

that has nothing to do with you.

- I never--
- Just leave me alone.

- ----ing loser.
- ----ing asshole.

You're a ----ing loser.

I didn't do anything
in this car ride

- to deserve any of this. Did I?
- You're a ----ing loser.

You're a ----ing loser.
You're a ----ing loser.

You suck.

♪♪♪