Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:09,313
This is a stickup.
Everybody down on the ground.
2
00:00:09,356 --> 00:00:11,489
Just stay on the floor,
and nobody gets hurt.
3
00:00:11,532 --> 00:00:13,534
Hurry up before
- the pigs get here.
- Be cool.
4
00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:14,883
Why are you doing this?
5
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,929
Because banks are a bummer, man.
6
00:00:16,972 --> 00:00:18,844
This mask is so hot.
7
00:00:18,887 --> 00:00:20,889
Ah, it's like my hair
was sweating.
8
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:23,066
Flower, put your
mask back on.
9
00:00:23,109 --> 00:00:24,458
Don't use my real name.
10
00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,634
That's not your real name.
11
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,854
Oh, right, it's Susan.
12
00:00:28,897 --> 00:00:30,334
Let's get out
of here.
13
00:00:30,377 --> 00:00:32,814
G-Go, go, go!
14
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,686
Bye.
15
00:00:39,734 --> 00:00:41,519
Babe?
16
00:00:41,562 --> 00:00:42,955
Sam?
17
00:00:42,998 --> 00:00:45,914
Hey. I got you your favorite.
18
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:48,613
Oh, Daisy's Coffee Shop.
I love this place. Thanks, babe.
19
00:00:48,656 --> 00:00:50,571
That is an americano
for my booboo,
20
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:53,618
and a perfectly normal adult
caffeinated beverage for me.
21
00:00:53,661 --> 00:00:56,273
This is not a man who's destined
to keep it tight, Sam.
22
00:00:56,316 --> 00:00:57,839
What are you working on?
23
00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,798
Well, I'm trying to come up with
article ideas for my meeting
24
00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:01,408
at The Ulster County Review
tomorrow.
25
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,280
The New Yorker
of the Hudson Valley?
26
00:01:03,323 --> 00:01:05,151
That's a big opportunity.
27
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:06,935
Yeah, this is the kind
of serious journalism
28
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:08,372
I've always
wanted to do,
29
00:01:08,415 --> 00:01:11,026
and if it goes well, it could
turn into a regular gig.
30
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,289
You're gonna kill it, babe.
31
00:01:12,332 --> 00:01:13,986
All right,
I'll leave you to it.
32
00:01:14,029 --> 00:01:17,250
Mmm. Yum.
33
00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:18,730
Mmm. Mm.
34
00:01:18,773 --> 00:01:21,036
I can't watch a man
do this to himself.
35
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,168
I'm okay with it.
36
00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:24,127
Love you, babe.
- Ooh, wait.
37
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:26,129
I've got an article
idea for you.
38
00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:28,653
What about a profile
of a local celebrity?
39
00:01:28,696 --> 00:01:29,871
Ooh, like who?
40
00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:31,177
I'm right here.
41
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,092
You said you wanted
a good story,
42
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,311
I'm a good story.
43
00:01:34,354 --> 00:01:35,964
Oh,
I got a story.
44
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,792
Did I ever tell you guys
about the time I robbed a bank?
45
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:40,882
Only once a week
for the last 50 years.
46
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,232
Wait, you robbed
a bank?
47
00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:44,669
Flower's hippie cult
knocked off a bank,
48
00:01:44,712 --> 00:01:46,236
then gave the money
to poor people.
49
00:01:46,279 --> 00:01:48,020
This was the commune,
not the cult.
50
00:01:48,063 --> 00:01:50,370
They're very similar, but the
commune let you wear your shoes
51
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:51,893
and you could still talk
to your family.
52
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:54,244
A Robin Hood hippie
bank robbery? That's amazing.
53
00:01:54,287 --> 00:01:56,071
This should be
the article I write.
54
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:57,812
Article? What's
she talking about?
55
00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,205
Oh, it's for
a local magazine.
56
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,120
This is exactly the kind
of thing they'd love.
57
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,556
Quirky,
human interest.
58
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,602
Well you-you can't write
about it. I'm sorry.
59
00:02:04,645 --> 00:02:05,472
What?
60
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:06,908
Flower, this
would be, like,
61
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,693
the biggest assignment
I've ever landed.
62
00:02:08,736 --> 00:02:09,998
They made me take
an eternal blood oath
63
00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,043
to never talk about it.
64
00:02:11,086 --> 00:02:12,523
Oh, totally not a cult.
65
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,655
Flower, you told us
about it a million times.
66
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:17,136
Well, that's different than
publishing it in a magazine.
67
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,137
But, Flower, it would just be...
68
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,225
I said no!
69
00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:24,535
So... I guess
we're back to Alberta.
70
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,101
Hold up.
71
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:28,582
"Back to Alberta."
72
00:02:29,844 --> 00:02:32,151
I think we just found our title.
73
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,636
So, what do we think?
74
00:02:38,679 --> 00:02:41,116
I'm gonna say just moved
from the city, Ivy League.
75
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,075
Close. Northwestern.
76
00:02:43,118 --> 00:02:44,381
You can see us?
77
00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:45,686
It's kind of a long story.
78
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,166
I had this
near-death experience,
79
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,820
and now I see ghosts.
80
00:02:48,863 --> 00:02:50,996
I guess that's not such
a long story.
81
00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:53,825
Name's Winky. Age 12
when I kicked the bucket.
82
00:02:53,868 --> 00:02:56,915
Headline? I got trampled
by a horse.
83
00:02:56,958 --> 00:03:00,745
I'm Shiki. I'm Lenape, and
I've been here since the 1500s.
84
00:03:00,788 --> 00:03:02,529
Lenape?
85
00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:04,009
I actually
know a...
86
00:03:04,052 --> 00:03:05,228
Who are you
talking to?
87
00:03:05,271 --> 00:03:06,664
I...
88
00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,492
I-I was, uh, just practicing
for our meeting.
89
00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:12,278
I was saying I actually know
some stories to pitch you.
90
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,846
Let me just, uh,
check these out. Okay.
91
00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:16,587
Oh. Oh, okay,
that... works.
92
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,285
Okay. Oof, no. No.
93
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:22,636
Did that. That's too obvious.
What's this in the margin here?
94
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,377
Gummy bears?
Was there a listeria outbreak
95
00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:25,422
in the plant or something?
96
00:03:25,465 --> 00:03:26,988
No, my husband wrote that.
97
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,512
He wanted me to pick up
gummy bears while I was in town
98
00:03:28,555 --> 00:03:31,428
because we ran out,
and he likes gummy bears.
99
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:34,605
Look, there's some
good ideas in there,
100
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,129
but if I'm gonna hire
a freelancer,
101
00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:38,348
I really need to be wowed,
102
00:03:38,391 --> 00:03:40,306
so unless you
can do that,
103
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,003
I'm gonna have to say,
"Nice to meet you,
104
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:44,789
and I'm sorry."
105
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,445
Wait, what if I told you
that I had a lead on a story
106
00:03:48,488 --> 00:03:50,142
about a group of hippies
who held up
107
00:03:50,185 --> 00:03:51,361
Hudson Valley
Citizens Bank
108
00:03:51,404 --> 00:03:52,753
in the 1960s
and were never caught?
109
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,451
I'm interested.
Who's your source?
110
00:03:54,494 --> 00:03:55,539
- Can you bring them in?
- No.
111
00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:57,584
Uh, only I can see them.
112
00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,064
Give me 6,000 words by Tuesday.
113
00:03:59,107 --> 00:04:02,241
Sold. A hippie bank robbery?
114
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,764
You should've led
with that one, kid.
115
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:12,295
Hey, babe.
116
00:04:12,338 --> 00:04:13,992
So, how'd it go?
117
00:04:14,035 --> 00:04:16,864
- Well, he bought one of my ideas.
- That's great.
118
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:19,214
We're gonna celebrate tonight
with gummy bears,
119
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,956
which you left in the car,
he said hopefully?
120
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,001
So...
121
00:04:23,044 --> 00:04:24,611
which article
did he buy?
122
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,004
Look, you can't tell Flower.
123
00:04:26,047 --> 00:04:27,353
I literally can't see Flower.
124
00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,268
Oh, I was talking
to Alberta and Isaac.
125
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,487
They were already
in here with you.
126
00:04:30,530 --> 00:04:31,879
That's not
creepy at all.
127
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,359
I panicked,
and I pitched the story
128
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,100
about Flower's commune
robbing the bank.
129
00:04:35,143 --> 00:04:36,362
The editor
flipped for it.
130
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,407
That's great.
Yes!
Bravo!
131
00:04:37,450 --> 00:04:38,973
No, it's terrible.
132
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,106
Flower explicitly told me
not to write about it.
133
00:04:41,149 --> 00:04:42,673
Okay, well,
she's not gonna know.
134
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,370
Come on, babe,
this is your dream gig.
135
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,546
I know, and now that
they bought it,
136
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,374
it's not like I can
go back there saying,
137
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,463
"Whoop, never mind." They'll
never want to work with me.
138
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:53,031
Plus, this whole thing
makes no sense.
139
00:04:53,074 --> 00:04:54,946
For years, she's
bragged about it.
140
00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:57,122
Now, suddenly, she doesn't want
the whole world to know.
141
00:04:57,165 --> 00:04:59,167
Mm. That girl
is hiding something,
142
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,431
and if she's hiding something,
it's probably juicy,
143
00:05:01,474 --> 00:05:04,216
and if it's juicy,
I'm gonna need to know it.
144
00:05:04,259 --> 00:05:07,001
Mm, Sam, you must
write this article.
145
00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:09,003
But Flower's my only source,
and I can't even interview her.
146
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:10,962
So just have
the ghosts do it.
147
00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:14,313
Yes. Yes. His mind
is as sharp as his jawline.
148
00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:16,707
And with questions
woven into conversation
149
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,317
by her trusted
ghost friends,
150
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,754
she will be
completely unaware.
151
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,321
You think that'll work?
152
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,758
The girl was staring at a shadow
for four hours yesterday,
153
00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:26,760
so yeah, I think
we can outfox her.
154
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,809
Hey, babe, I...
155
00:05:31,852 --> 00:05:34,638
No one's gonna tell me
how that conversation ended?
156
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,689
Oh, great, there
you are, Sasappis.
157
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,778
Uh, seriously? Can I get
a roll call, please?
158
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:47,172
Sure. Sasappis,
Pete, Trevor.
159
00:05:47,215 --> 00:05:48,956
That's never not gonna be weird.
160
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,480
I ran into this Lenape ghost
161
00:05:50,523 --> 00:05:51,785
who died around
the same time as you,
162
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,004
and I was wondering
if you knew her.
163
00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:54,266
Her name was Shiki.
164
00:05:54,309 --> 00:05:56,007
Shiki? What?
Are you serious?
165
00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:58,792
Did you just ask if two
Lenape people knew each other?
166
00:05:58,836 --> 00:05:59,967
She was the love
of my life.
167
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,447
That's like me asking you
168
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,101
if you know another
white lady from Ohio.
169
00:06:03,144 --> 00:06:05,103
Shh. He knew her.
They were in love.
170
00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:06,539
Well, I was in love
with her,
171
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,454
and I thought she was
in love with me,
172
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,413
so I killed a deer,
and brought it to her family.
173
00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:12,458
- Sure.
- And then I never heard
from her again.
174
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:13,633
Oh, my God.
175
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,635
- What? What happened?
- She ghosted him.
176
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,202
What?
Excuse me?
Hey, what's that
supposed to mean?
177
00:06:17,245 --> 00:06:18,508
I'm guessing
178
00:06:18,551 --> 00:06:20,118
they did not like
the ghosted thing.
179
00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:22,512
Oh, no, no, no.
Ghosting is what people say
180
00:06:22,555 --> 00:06:24,035
when you're dating someone,
and they just kind of vanish.
181
00:06:24,078 --> 00:06:26,341
Is the point that
ghosts have no manners?
182
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:27,952
Walk me through this.
183
00:06:27,995 --> 00:06:30,084
Who knows what was going on
for Shiki 500 years ago.
184
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,521
The point is she could be in
185
00:06:31,564 --> 00:06:32,739
a completely different
headspace now.
186
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,828
I think you should
reach out.
187
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,090
I can pass on a message.
188
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:37,483
Uh, okay, yeah.
189
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:39,354
Uh, how about,"Shiki,
190
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,487
"not a day has passed
since we parted
191
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,228
"that I haven't
thought of you.
192
00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:45,273
You are the love of my life."Whoa, whoa, whoa.
193
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,232
That's coming on
way too strong.
194
00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:48,494
What's the difference?
They're ghosts,
195
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:49,887
and they can't even be
in the same place.
196
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,584
But they could be,
one day, right?
197
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:54,326
I mean, you guys do,
eventually, go up, right?
198
00:06:54,369 --> 00:06:56,589
- Get sucked off, right.
Yes, in theory,
they could.
199
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,679
Yeah, so he's got to play
this right, and I can help.
200
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,551
I mean, this is
basically texting,
201
00:07:01,594 --> 00:07:03,291
and who's better at texting
than your hubs?
202
00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,380
Texting was just
catching on when I died.
203
00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:07,252
I would've loved to work
with the medium more.
204
00:07:07,295 --> 00:07:09,297
Sasappis, you should just say
what you want to say.
205
00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:12,257
Women value honesty
and romance, not games.
206
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,694
That's so cute.
207
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,130
When I first met you,
I wanted to text you
208
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,654
every two minutes,
209
00:07:17,697 --> 00:07:19,220
but I didn't do that,
you want to know why?
210
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:20,787
Because it would've
scared you off.
211
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,528
Okay, listen to
this man, Sass.
212
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,791
I'm not saying this is a Lyle
Lovett, Julia Roberts situation,
213
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:25,923
but he did well
for himself.
214
00:07:26,532 --> 00:07:28,055
You know what
my dating strategy is?
215
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,404
I like to get myself
216
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,319
in something I call
"the friendzone."
217
00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:33,800
Now, nine out of ten times you
end up completely desexualized,
218
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,541
as if you're a puppy
or their brother,
219
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:36,803
but, at the end of the day,
220
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,849
you got a new friend,
so win-win, right?
221
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,720
Yeah, I think I'm gonna go
with Jay on this one.
222
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,984
Fine. Jay, Sasappis wants
to know what he should say.
223
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,073
Okay, first of all,
delete that corny mess
224
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:49,424
and repeat after me,
"'Sup," apostrophe,
225
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:52,253
S-U-P. End it
with a period.
226
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,212
It is a question,
but we don't care enough
227
00:07:54,255 --> 00:07:55,561
to put a question mark,do we?
228
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,520
- Sup.
- Oh, this guy's good.
229
00:07:57,563 --> 00:07:59,217
I am ready
to be Miyagi'd.
230
00:08:02,437 --> 00:08:04,178
Oh, hello, Flower.
231
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,964
Just popping in for a casual
chat amongst close friends.
232
00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:08,531
Oh, hey, guys.
233
00:08:08,574 --> 00:08:09,532
You know what I thought
was awesome, Isaac?
234
00:08:09,575 --> 00:08:11,098
Oh, what's that, Alberta?
235
00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:12,404
How my girl,
Flower, here
236
00:08:12,447 --> 00:08:14,232
stood up to Sam
about the bank robbery.
237
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:15,712
That's not Sam's storyto tell,
238
00:08:15,755 --> 00:08:16,843
that's Flower's
thing.
239
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,584
Agreed.
240
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,630
Although, I'm curious
241
00:08:20,673 --> 00:08:22,588
as to why you didn't want her
to write the story.
242
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:26,070
Considering how freely you
bless us with retellings of it.
243
00:08:26,113 --> 00:08:27,767
Well, just between us?
244
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:28,986
Obviously.
245
00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:30,901
There's just a part of the story
246
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,598
I'm not ready to tell.
247
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,382
Mm, that's all
you need to say.
Mm-hmm.
248
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,734
Although, I'm worried that Sam,
conniving Living that she is,
249
00:08:37,777 --> 00:08:39,344
will find some way
to trick you
250
00:08:39,387 --> 00:08:40,737
into telling her
your dark secret.
251
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,956
- Do you think?
- It's a risk, though...
252
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,610
Here's a thought,
253
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:46,525
what if you were tell us
your deep, dark secret,
254
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:49,180
so we can help steer Sam
as far away from it as possible?
255
00:08:49,223 --> 00:08:53,010
Wait, why are you guys asking me
so many questions about myself?
256
00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:55,099
What? Uh, it's
perfectly consistent
257
00:08:55,142 --> 00:08:56,796
with our personalities
to want to know more
258
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,102
about our good old
friend, Flower.
259
00:08:58,145 --> 00:09:00,757
Well, if we're
such good friends,
260
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,062
what's my last name?
261
00:09:10,157 --> 00:09:12,638
- It's Montero.
- Montero!
262
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,640
I knew that.
- I remember that.
- Mm-hmm.
263
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,642
Okay. So, here's
what I want to know,
264
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:19,819
since you guys are acting
all suspicious and stuff...
265
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,390
Oh, my God.
Is she still with us?
266
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:26,739
- What's going on?
- Hard to say.
267
00:09:29,263 --> 00:09:31,048
Wait, what-what were we
just talking about?
268
00:09:31,091 --> 00:09:32,223
It was important, wasn't it?
269
00:09:32,266 --> 00:09:33,964
You know,
I don't really recall.
270
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,880
- Oh, wait, was it love?
- Sure.
271
00:09:36,923 --> 00:09:38,316
Oh, I love love.
272
00:09:38,359 --> 00:09:39,796
I also hate tomatoes,
273
00:09:39,839 --> 00:09:41,928
and those are a couple
of things about me.
274
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,277
- Good to know.
- Uh, yes.
275
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,627
I am glad we got
to the bottom of that.
276
00:09:48,369 --> 00:09:51,677
Hey. I gave Shiki
the message.
277
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:52,983
It wasn't easy.
278
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,724
The editor was very curious
279
00:09:54,767 --> 00:09:56,421
as to why I just showed up
with no appointment.
280
00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:57,814
Uh, you're back.
281
00:09:57,857 --> 00:10:00,033
Hey.
Can I help you?
282
00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,731
Uh, I just stopped by
to let you know
283
00:10:01,774 --> 00:10:03,689
how things were going
with the article.
284
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,082
Okay.
285
00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:07,475
Right, uh, so I
dropped by the bank,
286
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,477
and they're putting me
in touch with a woman
287
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:11,305
who was a young teller
at the time,
288
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,526
so I'm gonna give her a call,
and that is where we're at.
289
00:10:14,569 --> 00:10:16,006
Okay, that's it, yeah.
290
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,529
Uh, feels like this
could've been an email
291
00:10:17,572 --> 00:10:20,140
- or a non-share, really.
- Mm.
292
00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:22,099
So, what did she say?
- Did you read her the message?
293
00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:23,666
Yes, I did.
294
00:10:23,709 --> 00:10:25,189
I read the message
that you guys workshopped,
295
00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:27,713
and let me say again,
I was not a fan of it.
296
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:30,760
"Sup. Cool you're
still around, Shiki.
297
00:10:30,803 --> 00:10:33,501
Would love to hear
the haps sometime. Maybe."
298
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:39,029
That's-that's it.
That's all he said.
299
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,378
"Sup"?
300
00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:42,597
And?
And...
301
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,991
she had a response.
302
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,253
"Hey."
303
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:49,387
-"Hey"? That's it?
- Oh, she's good.
304
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:51,476
What? How is that good?
What do we do now?
305
00:10:51,519 --> 00:10:53,347
Sasappis is freaking out,
which makes sense
306
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,175
because, clearly,
that was terrible advice.
307
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,655
No, no, no, no, no.
308
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,005
If she's playing the game,
that means she's interested.
309
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,486
All we have to do now
is craft the perfect reply.
310
00:11:01,529 --> 00:11:03,314
Good news is we have
a week to do it,
311
00:11:03,357 --> 00:11:05,011
anything sooner than that
is just thirsty.
312
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,621
I am so out
of my element
313
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:07,884
with this written
communication thing.
314
00:11:07,927 --> 00:11:09,929
Funny guys must
clean up these days.
315
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:12,192
I'd be friendzoning
everybody, hard.
316
00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:17,545
Good news, Samantha.
We found out
317
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,852
that Flower has a deep dark
secret about the robbery.
318
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,506
Oh, amazing. What is it?
319
00:11:21,549 --> 00:11:24,117
No, no, that's it.
We just found out she has one.
320
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,815
Is that enough to go off?
321
00:11:25,858 --> 00:11:27,338
Now let's talk byline.
322
00:11:27,381 --> 00:11:29,340
Alberta and I are fine
if your name comes first,
323
00:11:29,383 --> 00:11:30,950
since you'll be doing
most of the typing.
324
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,343
However...
325
00:11:32,386 --> 00:11:34,214
Okay, just had a pretty intense
acid flashback,
326
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,390
but I remember before that,
you guys were asking me
327
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,131
a bunch of questions
about the robbery.
328
00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:40,177
Why were you
doing that?
329
00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:43,136
Because... we're interested
in your life, Flower.
330
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,791
And now you're talking to Sam,
who wanted to write the article
331
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,054
about me before... Oh, my God,
332
00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:49,795
she's piecing it together
in real time.
333
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,189
Nobody move. She has one
plus one, but I'm not confident
334
00:11:52,232 --> 00:11:53,668
she realizes
it makes two.
335
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:56,019
This is ridiculous.
Flower, I'm sorry.
336
00:11:56,062 --> 00:11:57,672
The editor didn't like
my other ideas,
337
00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,718
and I was desperate,
so I pitched your story.
338
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:03,069
- Whoa. Not groovy, Sam.
- I know.
339
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,592
It was wrong, but I still
340
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,072
don't get why
you don't want the article.
341
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,552
Yeah, what are you
hiding, Flower?
342
00:12:07,595 --> 00:12:08,901
Yes, just
tell us, Flower.
343
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,903
Why are you
so afraid to share
344
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,731
that which you claim to be
the most proud of?
345
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:15,299
Because I'm not proud
of it, okay?
346
00:12:15,342 --> 00:12:17,083
The money never went
to any good cause.
347
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,389
The commune never donated it.
348
00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:19,912
What? Why not?
349
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,741
Because before they could
give it away, I stole it.
350
00:12:26,005 --> 00:12:28,094
Really? No one else gasped?
351
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:29,704
Well, I guess if you're
not gasping at that,
352
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:31,358
you're simply not a gasper.
353
00:12:36,363 --> 00:12:38,801
After the bank robbery,
the commune spent weeks debating
354
00:12:38,844 --> 00:12:41,064
what to do with the money.
355
00:12:41,107 --> 00:12:42,630
Seven...
356
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:43,893
Eight...
357
00:12:43,936 --> 00:12:45,546
And... all right,
358
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:49,942
so that's nine for helping out
the feral cats of Costa Rica.
359
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:52,205
And one
for narwhals.
360
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,425
Damn it, Brenda.
It has to be unanimous.
361
00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:56,079
- I'm not changing my vote.
Look,
362
00:12:56,122 --> 00:12:58,211
Brenda, the feral cats
of Costa Rica
363
00:12:58,255 --> 00:13:00,474
live in awful
conditions.
364
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:03,826
They sleep
in the dirt.
365
00:13:03,869 --> 00:13:06,785
They-they have no escape
from the elements.
366
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,092
They eat out of
the garbage.
367
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,747
I have an idea.
368
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:16,926
What if we used the money
to help people in need.
369
00:13:16,969 --> 00:13:19,493
Like, specifically, us.
370
00:13:21,974 --> 00:13:23,062
No, guys,
371
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,368
the narwhals need us.
372
00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:27,110
No, feral cats,
Brenda, come on.
373
00:13:27,153 --> 00:13:30,113
So, then Ira and I
took the money and bolted,
374
00:13:30,156 --> 00:13:31,854
and then I got attacked
by a bear,
375
00:13:31,897 --> 00:13:33,943
and I've had an eternity
to think about what I did.
376
00:13:33,986 --> 00:13:35,901
Well, it sounds like
you just made a mistake.
377
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,425
No, Sam, I'm a fraud.
378
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,688
I wanted to be a person
who helped others,
379
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:44,301
but I just helped myself.
380
00:13:47,608 --> 00:13:49,784
- Well, now I feel bad.
- Yeah, me, too.
381
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,830
Sam should've never
written that article.
382
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,788
But you told me to.
383
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:56,226
We're dead, and just
looking for exciting things
384
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,923
to happen around here
to fill up the days.
385
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,403
Why are you
listening to us?
386
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,363
So...
387
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,888
did you get a reply
from Sasappis for me?
388
00:14:05,931 --> 00:14:09,500
No, they all w--
Uh, he wanted me to wait a week.
389
00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:11,937
- I don't know.
- Oh. Okay.
390
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,112
I understand.
391
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,374
Wait a minute.
392
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:16,942
This is crazy.
He's playing games.
393
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,944
And, as a woman,
I know you want the truth.
394
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,947
The truth is Sasappis loves you,
and he's always loved you,
395
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,209
and he always will love you,
396
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,863
and I can't think
of a better person
397
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,344
for you to hopefully one day
spend eternity with.
398
00:14:27,387 --> 00:14:30,521
Whoa. That's a little intense.
399
00:14:30,564 --> 00:14:32,088
- Oh, God.
- Oh, no, no, no.
400
00:14:32,131 --> 00:14:34,351
It's cool, I guess.
401
00:14:34,394 --> 00:14:37,920
I-I got a thing
in the, uh, copy room.
402
00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:39,878
Oh, God, wait.
403
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,227
Did you not want me to come in?
404
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,707
To my office?
405
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:44,883
I'm sorry, I need
to talk to you, Lewis.
406
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,450
I really appreciate
the opportunity,
407
00:14:46,493 --> 00:14:48,843
but I can't write
- the article.
- Excuse me?
408
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:51,716
I just realized it would,
it would hurt a friend.
409
00:14:51,759 --> 00:14:53,936
Again, email.
410
00:14:53,979 --> 00:14:57,287
Okay, email. I get that.
411
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,031
Knock, knock.
412
00:15:02,074 --> 00:15:04,511
I don't want to see anyone
right now, Alberta.
413
00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:07,993
I just have one thing
I got to tell you,
414
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,299
then I'll leave you be.
415
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,998
I never shared the stage
with Cab Calloway.
416
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,000
I know I always brag
about that,
417
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,436
but it didn't happen.
418
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,135
I did share a cab
with him once.
419
00:15:19,178 --> 00:15:22,051
Nope! You know what?
Ah! I'm lying again.
420
00:15:22,094 --> 00:15:23,661
I never even met the man.
421
00:15:24,705 --> 00:15:27,143
And I was never at
the Boston Tea Party.
422
00:15:27,186 --> 00:15:28,753
I was in Boston
423
00:15:28,796 --> 00:15:30,015
at a tea party,
424
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,322
but it was at
my Aunt Geraldine's house.
425
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,671
It was a lovely affair.
426
00:15:33,714 --> 00:15:35,542
Why are you guys
telling me this?
427
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:38,284
None of us lived up
to exactly who we wanted to be.
428
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,112
- That doesn't
make you a fraud.
429
00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,288
You're the biggest do-gooder
of all us ghosts.
430
00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:44,203
Granted, that's
a selfish crew.
431
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,857
But you set the bar,
432
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:48,033
and you need
to know that.
433
00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,208
Thanks, guys.
434
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,690
Flower, hey.
435
00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:55,562
I wanted to tell you
I'm not gonna write the article,
436
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,477
and I'm sorry I went
behind your back.
437
00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:00,698
You had a moment of weakness.
I know the feeling.
438
00:16:01,568 --> 00:16:03,483
Hmm, I wonder what Ira did
with all that money.
439
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:06,051
Me, too. Ira wanted
to blow it all on a house,
440
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,271
and I was like,
"No, we should open a business."
441
00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:10,534
You know, so we didn't
have to rob any more banks.
442
00:16:10,577 --> 00:16:11,796
Oh, what kind of business?
443
00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:13,319
A fair trade
coffee shop
444
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:14,886
that totally paid
the bean farmers
445
00:16:14,929 --> 00:16:16,496
what they should get paid,
and was, like,
446
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,890
not bad for the earth,
but Ira said,
447
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,370
"Daisy, we don't know
the first thing
448
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,545
about starting a business."
449
00:16:21,588 --> 00:16:22,981
Daisy?
450
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,027
Yeah, that was
Ira's nickname for me
451
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:27,072
'cause I was his special flower.
452
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,335
Also, 'cause it's a weed
and I love weed.
453
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,294
Come with me, now.
454
00:16:31,337 --> 00:16:32,599
Okay.
455
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,953
What is this?
456
00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:40,912
It's your fair trade
coffee shop, Flower,
457
00:16:40,955 --> 00:16:43,001
except it's got, like,
a hundred locations.
458
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,524
Someone stole my idea?
459
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,526
Oh, she's so close
to getting it.
460
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:47,745
God love her.
461
00:16:47,788 --> 00:16:50,139
Wow. Read this.
462
00:16:50,182 --> 00:16:53,968
"The founder of Daisy's
Coffee Shop is Ira Klein.
463
00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,709
"In memory of his
late girlfriend,
464
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:58,364
"profits go toward
underprivileged communities
465
00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,887
and bear safety education."
466
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,717
Ira made my dream come true.
467
00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:06,590
Now that is a good ending
to your article, Sam.
468
00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:07,939
Maybe you should just write it.
469
00:17:07,982 --> 00:17:09,245
Are you sure?
470
00:17:09,288 --> 00:17:11,595
I was so worried
about people, like,
471
00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:14,380
judging me for my
biggest mistake, but,
472
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,339
now I see something
groovy came out of it.
473
00:17:17,818 --> 00:17:20,082
Also is anyone else
seeing that color?
474
00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:21,866
Is there even a name for that?
475
00:17:21,909 --> 00:17:23,955
And the horse
has left the stable.
476
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,874
Well, I have some news.
477
00:17:29,917 --> 00:17:31,832
Lewis loved
the bank robbery article.
478
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,878
Yes!
479
00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:36,446
And-and he said Daisy's Coffee
Shop is even cool with it.
480
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,535
Apparently, the statute
of limitations ran out,
481
00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:40,058
and they think it makes them
look badass.
482
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,364
Ooh, they're
not wrong.
483
00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:43,017
Best news for last,
484
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,932
he wants me to come in next week
to pitch more ideas.
485
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,891
That's incredible. Babe,
486
00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:49,198
- I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
487
00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:51,113
Alberta, I heard
you were very helpful
488
00:17:51,156 --> 00:17:53,115
with Sam's article, which I
thought should be acknowledged.
489
00:17:53,158 --> 00:17:55,160
Aw, thanks, Pete.
You're a good friend.
490
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,684
Oh, friend.
Wow, thank you.
491
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,600
Hello,
friendzone. I'm in.
492
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:01,688
While you are at
493
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:05,562
the magazine, you can give Shiki
494
00:18:05,605 --> 00:18:07,172
her next message.
495
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:08,434
Jay nailed it.
496
00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:11,698
It's, "yo yo yo."
497
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,483
The simplicity,
right?
498
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,180
You know what? No.
499
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,269
No more aloof messages.
I can't take the waiting.
500
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:20,316
I can't take not being honest.
I'm not a games guy.
501
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:21,447
I'm looking
for a woman
502
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:22,927
who wants a dead deer
on her doorstep,
503
00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:25,147
and when I find her,
I'm gonna love her forever.
504
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,844
I am so glad you said that
505
00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:29,803
because, the last time
I went in, I kind of lost it,
506
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:31,501
and I basically said
exactly that.
507
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,503
What? Well, what'd she say?
Did she like it?
508
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,026
Not really.
509
00:18:35,069 --> 00:18:36,810
Seriously?
510
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,029
Fix this. Jay!
511
00:18:38,072 --> 00:18:40,031
- Uh, he can't hear you.
- What's he saying?
512
00:18:40,074 --> 00:18:41,989
I want the games back, please.
513
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,382
He's thanking me.
514
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,036
You ruined
everything.
515
00:18:45,079 --> 00:18:46,951
You're welcome.
516
00:18:46,994 --> 00:18:50,215
Hey, did I ever tell you guys
about the time I robbed a bank?
517
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:51,825
Okay.
518
00:18:57,831 --> 00:18:59,050
Okay, I mean,
I get it.
519
00:18:59,093 --> 00:19:00,660
I guess people
just play games,
520
00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:03,533
but I don't love that
my husband is so good at it.
521
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,795
Okay.
522
00:19:04,838 --> 00:19:06,536
I've been meaning
to show you this
523
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,407
for a while now.
524
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:11,497
Here. This is a screengrab
of a text that I sent you
525
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,934
exactly one minute
after your cab pulled away,
526
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,240
the night
of our first date.
527
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,547
- Oh, cute.
- Read it.
528
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,375
"Samcakes...
is it okay
529
00:19:19,418 --> 00:19:21,159
"that I call you that?
530
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:23,248
"I feel like that'll be
my nickname for you.
531
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:26,164
I'll call you Samcakes
and you'll call me Jay-bae"?
532
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,861
I know. Keep reading.
533
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,298
"I know you're not supposed
to say stuff like that,
534
00:19:29,341 --> 00:19:31,125
"and maybe I'm tipsy,
but I like you.
535
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:33,476
"Like, really like you.
536
00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:36,740
And I think you
might be the one."
537
00:19:36,783 --> 00:19:38,263
Oh, I never got that text.
538
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,917
Yeah, because
by some grace of God
539
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,092
it never went through.
540
00:19:42,354 --> 00:19:44,269
Okay, yeah, I would've
run for the hills.
541
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,140
- Obviously.
- I mean, you were psycho.
542
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:48,404
That guy's gonna crawl inside of
your skin and wear you to prom.
543
00:19:48,447 --> 00:19:49,666
Okay, see?
544
00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,015
- Now will you help me?
- Fine, Sass.
545
00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:54,279
Shiki will get a
"yo yo yo" on Tuesday.
546
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,803
I can't believe I'm using
my ghost powers for this,
547
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,502
but, I guess, if it means
you two could end up together
548
00:19:59,545 --> 00:20:01,895
to do whatever it is
that ghosts do...
549
00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:03,767
I was wondering about this.
So, tell me,
550
00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:05,725
can ghosts actually have sex?
551
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:08,728
We can. We just can't finish.
It's very frustrating.
552
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,730
He says they can,
but they can't finish.
553
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,297
- Interesting.
- Gosh, I hate to do this,
554
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,690
but I've got some work to do.
555
00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:15,735
No, no, no, no, no.
Sam, first question,
556
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,302
can they take off
their own clothes?
557
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,304
Sam, come back, I want
to tell Jay about ghost sex.
41229
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.