All language subtitles for Detectorists.S03E05.Episode.5.1080p.BluRay.REMUX.AVC.FLAC.2.0-MJOLNiR

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,708 --> 00:00:06,768 They're in that same spot again. 2 00:00:08,845 --> 00:00:11,041 They've definitely found something. 3 00:00:13,083 --> 00:00:14,642 There's something going on. 4 00:00:15,785 --> 00:00:17,515 Is it ready? 5 00:00:17,554 --> 00:00:19,580 Light's on. 6 00:00:19,622 --> 00:00:22,217 All right. Give me the control. 7 00:00:25,528 --> 00:00:28,623 All right. Gently does it. 8 00:00:28,665 --> 00:00:32,761 I'm lifting off in a three, two, one. 9 00:00:36,473 --> 00:00:38,305 Up she goes. 10 00:00:44,748 --> 00:00:48,082 How do you make it steady? Stop it going up. 11 00:00:48,118 --> 00:00:50,280 Just let go of the joystick. 12 00:00:52,322 --> 00:00:54,120 Still going up? 13 00:00:54,157 --> 00:00:56,786 Yep. Just try flicking it down. 14 00:00:59,429 --> 00:01:01,125 Still going up, is it? 15 00:01:01,164 --> 00:01:04,134 Yep. Yeah, that's really high now. 16 00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:05,601 How high is it supposed to go? 17 00:01:05,635 --> 00:01:08,298 Well, how am I supposed to know? It's not responding. 18 00:01:08,338 --> 00:01:10,102 How do you make it come down? 19 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,109 Here, let me see. 20 00:01:13,476 --> 00:01:15,775 - Can you see it? - Only just. 21 00:01:17,847 --> 00:01:21,284 No. No, I'm losing it. It's gone. 22 00:01:21,317 --> 00:01:22,979 No. No, yeah, yeah, there! 23 00:01:23,019 --> 00:01:24,954 No. 24 00:01:26,055 --> 00:01:28,047 No, I can't see it. 25 00:01:31,828 --> 00:01:35,595 Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. 26 00:01:35,632 --> 00:01:38,625 So that's it, is it? It just keeps going until it's in orbit? 27 00:01:42,438 --> 00:01:44,168 How long do the batteries last? 28 00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:45,732 20 minutes. 29 00:01:48,211 --> 00:01:50,612 I thought you said you could fly these things? 30 00:01:50,647 --> 00:01:51,808 I never said that. 31 00:01:51,848 --> 00:01:53,612 Well, why did you keep letting it go up? 32 00:01:53,650 --> 00:01:56,017 I tried everything. It just wasn't responding. 33 00:01:56,052 --> 00:01:57,680 It just kept going up and up. 34 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,814 You can tell that to the insurance company. 35 00:01:59,856 --> 00:02:00,915 Why me? 36 00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:04,758 Because, Paul, you're the one that said he could fly these. 37 00:02:04,794 --> 00:02:06,854 Whoa! 38 00:02:16,906 --> 00:02:21,970 ♪ Will you search the lonely earth for me? 39 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:26,915 ♪ Climb through the briar and bramble? 40 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:30,887 ♪ I'll be your treasure 41 00:02:32,288 --> 00:02:35,486 ♪ I'm waiting for you 42 00:02:36,926 --> 00:02:40,988 ♪ I'm waiting for you 43 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,764 See QI this week? 44 00:02:46,803 --> 00:02:48,032 Yeah. 45 00:02:48,071 --> 00:02:52,406 Never thought I'd say this, but I think I prefer Toksvig to Fry. 46 00:02:52,442 --> 00:02:54,308 Controversial. 47 00:02:54,344 --> 00:02:56,108 Oh, don't you think she's better? 48 00:02:56,145 --> 00:02:58,910 I'm not prepared to stick my neck out that far, mate. 49 00:02:58,948 --> 00:03:01,349 She's certainly doing a good job. 50 00:03:01,384 --> 00:03:04,047 Big shoes to fill, literally. 51 00:03:05,288 --> 00:03:06,347 Why literally? 52 00:03:07,891 --> 00:03:09,917 Stephen Fry's got big feet. 53 00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:13,259 Yeah, but she doesn't literally have to wear his shoes. 54 00:03:13,296 --> 00:03:15,322 Well, actually, they've got a rule... 55 00:03:15,365 --> 00:03:17,425 Who's this? 56 00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:19,629 - All right? - Morning. 57 00:03:19,669 --> 00:03:22,468 Metal detectors, are you? 58 00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:24,064 You could say that. 59 00:03:24,107 --> 00:03:27,407 Are you one of them? One of the solar people. 60 00:03:27,443 --> 00:03:30,538 Tree clearance. Getting rid of nuisance trees. 61 00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,173 That's quite a slogan. 62 00:03:32,215 --> 00:03:34,514 Your life must be filled with joy. 63 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:36,143 - Eh? - Nothing. 64 00:03:36,185 --> 00:03:38,120 Not getting rid of this one though. 65 00:03:38,154 --> 00:03:41,249 - This one's going, yeah. - What? Why? 66 00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:43,624 What nuisance is this one causing? 67 00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:44,787 Shadow. 68 00:03:47,597 --> 00:03:48,895 One small patch? 69 00:03:48,932 --> 00:03:53,097 Yeah, you see the sun, see, it travels through the sky 70 00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:56,402 and that patch covers half an acre in a day. 71 00:03:56,439 --> 00:04:00,467 That's a lot of sunlight all wasted on a tree. 72 00:04:00,510 --> 00:04:01,705 See ya. 73 00:04:04,781 --> 00:04:06,750 That's depressing. 74 00:04:06,783 --> 00:04:09,275 Shouldn't we do something about it? 75 00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:12,515 Like what? Save the tree? 76 00:04:12,555 --> 00:04:14,683 Well, shouldn't we? I mean... 77 00:04:14,724 --> 00:04:17,125 we don't want the tree to be cut down. 78 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,685 No. 79 00:04:18,728 --> 00:04:20,754 So we should probably try and save it. 80 00:04:21,931 --> 00:04:24,992 So how do you save a tree? 81 00:04:25,034 --> 00:04:28,368 Well, traditionally, you chain yourself to it, don't you? 82 00:04:28,404 --> 00:04:29,997 One of us chains ourself to the tree 83 00:04:30,039 --> 00:04:32,873 and the other one goes and gets the press. 84 00:04:32,909 --> 00:04:35,003 Yeah. 85 00:04:35,044 --> 00:04:36,979 I don't know. 86 00:04:37,013 --> 00:04:39,278 It's... a bit embarrassing. 87 00:04:39,315 --> 00:04:41,216 Huh. Yeah. 88 00:05:12,949 --> 00:05:14,383 Bat box. 89 00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:17,585 What's that? 90 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:20,021 Bat box is what we need to save that tree. 91 00:05:20,056 --> 00:05:23,151 Whack a bat box up there, bats start roosting. 92 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,161 Boom. They can't touch it. 93 00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:27,129 - Yeah? - Hmm. 94 00:05:27,163 --> 00:05:29,029 It's the same as Great Crested Newts. 95 00:05:29,065 --> 00:05:31,000 You can have a muddy puddle essentially 96 00:05:31,034 --> 00:05:33,367 but as soon as one of those slippery bastards rocks up, 97 00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:36,202 it becomes a Site of Special Scientific Interest. 98 00:05:36,239 --> 00:05:38,470 Scourge of the developer. 99 00:05:38,508 --> 00:05:42,445 All right, well, you should get onto that then. Build a bat box. 100 00:05:42,478 --> 00:05:45,175 Yeah. Maybe I will. 101 00:05:46,549 --> 00:05:47,847 Oh, I wish I had a shed. 102 00:05:49,352 --> 00:05:51,844 Oh, yeah. Sorry, mate. I forgot. 103 00:05:53,122 --> 00:05:54,613 What did you do with your tools? 104 00:05:54,657 --> 00:05:57,627 Well, they're in crates in the garage going rusty. 105 00:06:00,863 --> 00:06:04,459 You didn't wipe 'em with an oily rag before you put 'em away? 106 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:08,232 Well, yeah, obviously. I was being dramatic. 107 00:06:08,271 --> 00:06:10,467 Oh. 108 00:06:10,506 --> 00:06:13,533 I see. 109 00:06:13,576 --> 00:06:15,135 What you got? 110 00:06:15,178 --> 00:06:17,010 Carpet stair rod holder. 111 00:06:17,046 --> 00:06:20,016 Yeah. I've had a couple of them. 112 00:06:20,049 --> 00:06:22,712 Must have been a flight of stairs here somewhere. 113 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:49,773 Er... hello? 114 00:06:49,812 --> 00:06:51,178 Toni? 115 00:06:53,349 --> 00:06:54,749 Hi, Kate. What you doing here? 116 00:06:54,784 --> 00:06:58,050 - Which is the front door? - Come down this end. 117 00:07:02,859 --> 00:07:05,055 Oh, don't I need to say something? 118 00:07:05,094 --> 00:07:07,154 Like, to be invited on board. 119 00:07:07,196 --> 00:07:09,165 You're thinking of vampires. 120 00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:12,129 Oh. 121 00:07:12,168 --> 00:07:14,399 - Ooh! - Go on. 122 00:07:14,437 --> 00:07:16,167 Thanks. 123 00:07:20,843 --> 00:07:22,311 This place is amazing. 124 00:07:22,345 --> 00:07:24,439 Thanks. It was my grandparents'. 125 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,040 No way. How long have you lived on it? 126 00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:28,745 About three years. 127 00:07:28,784 --> 00:07:30,377 And it makes my dad heave. 128 00:07:30,419 --> 00:07:32,285 He hasn't even got this far. 129 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,847 He doesn't even like looking at it from dry land. 130 00:07:34,891 --> 00:07:37,588 You know he's only ever seen the sea once? 131 00:07:37,627 --> 00:07:38,856 He told me that. 132 00:07:38,895 --> 00:07:40,989 Don't expect beach holidays. 133 00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:44,660 I'm not expecting anything. 134 00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:48,159 I'm gonna move out of my dad's flat. Find my own place. 135 00:07:48,204 --> 00:07:50,264 Why? He likes you being there. 136 00:07:50,306 --> 00:07:53,105 Yeah, I know. That's why I've stayed so long. 137 00:07:53,142 --> 00:07:55,134 He's afraid I'm gonna disappear again, 138 00:07:55,178 --> 00:07:57,443 which is why I haven't told him yet. 139 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,709 So why are you telling me? 140 00:07:58,748 --> 00:08:01,843 I just want you to know that I won't be around all the time. 141 00:08:01,884 --> 00:08:03,352 I won't be in your way. 142 00:08:03,386 --> 00:08:06,845 You've never been in my way. That's not fair, Kate. 143 00:08:06,889 --> 00:08:09,950 Don't do anything on my account because I don't even know 144 00:08:09,992 --> 00:08:11,961 if your dad and I are still seeing each other. 145 00:08:11,994 --> 00:08:13,792 Please don't break up with my dad. 146 00:08:13,829 --> 00:08:15,457 - He thinks the world of you. - Kate. 147 00:08:15,498 --> 00:08:19,196 He let Maggie stay because he's a kind and decent guy. 148 00:08:19,235 --> 00:08:20,601 Did he send you here? 149 00:08:20,636 --> 00:08:22,969 Yeah. He said, "Nip down and tell Toni 150 00:08:23,005 --> 00:08:24,769 that I'm a kind and decent guy." 151 00:08:24,807 --> 00:08:26,537 No, of course not. I just felt bad 152 00:08:26,576 --> 00:08:29,637 because I let her in the flat. I didn't know who she was. 153 00:08:29,679 --> 00:08:32,342 Look, Kate, I don't wanna discuss it with you. 154 00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,748 Your dad and I will either sort it out or we won't, 155 00:08:34,784 --> 00:08:38,186 but I don't need advice or character references, thanks. 156 00:08:38,221 --> 00:08:41,214 I know he's a decent guy. That's why I'm going out with him. 157 00:08:41,257 --> 00:08:43,590 - So you've not broken up? - Shut up, please! 158 00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:45,618 I don't wanna talk about it with you. 159 00:08:45,661 --> 00:08:48,961 I feel like I'm back at sixth form talking about boyfriends. 160 00:08:48,998 --> 00:08:50,296 I'm too old for this. 161 00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:53,861 All right. I'll back off. I've said my bit. 162 00:08:53,903 --> 00:08:55,997 I just worry about him, you know? 163 00:08:56,038 --> 00:08:57,597 I know. 164 00:08:59,609 --> 00:09:01,737 I love your ship. 165 00:09:03,312 --> 00:09:05,178 It's a boat really. 166 00:09:05,214 --> 00:09:07,513 I love it. I'll see ya. 167 00:09:40,082 --> 00:09:42,051 Steve, can I find a safe home for this? 168 00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,815 What's that, a porcupine? 169 00:09:44,854 --> 00:09:47,483 Porcupine? You serious? It's a hedgehog. 170 00:09:47,523 --> 00:09:49,754 Thought hedgehogs were flat. 171 00:09:49,792 --> 00:09:52,091 The squashed dead ones are flat. 172 00:09:52,128 --> 00:09:54,256 The live ones are spherical. 173 00:09:54,297 --> 00:09:55,822 All right, Richard Attenborough. 174 00:09:56,599 --> 00:09:57,828 It's David. 175 00:09:57,867 --> 00:10:01,099 Oh, I'm sorry. Been calling you Andy. 176 00:10:39,475 --> 00:10:41,239 Grab this, will you, mate? 177 00:10:41,277 --> 00:10:42,745 Sorry, mate. I'm not actually... 178 00:10:42,778 --> 00:10:44,940 Come on! It's killing me. 179 00:12:22,912 --> 00:12:25,746 - Hello. - Hey. 180 00:12:27,716 --> 00:12:29,241 What's in the crate? 181 00:12:32,922 --> 00:12:35,255 Please step away from the crate. 182 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,666 Kate came to see me. Did she tell you? 183 00:12:46,702 --> 00:12:49,433 To your place? What for? 184 00:12:49,472 --> 00:12:52,909 To tell me what a swell prince of a guy you are. 185 00:12:52,942 --> 00:12:55,138 Hmm. I'm not that great. 186 00:12:55,177 --> 00:12:57,203 That's what I said. 187 00:12:57,246 --> 00:12:59,442 - She come aboard? - Yep. 188 00:12:59,482 --> 00:13:01,144 - Did she puke? - Nope. 189 00:13:01,183 --> 00:13:03,880 - Turn a pallid yellow? - No. 190 00:13:03,919 --> 00:13:05,512 Not hereditary, then. 191 00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:12,190 The reason I let Maggie stay 192 00:13:12,228 --> 00:13:15,221 was cos I don't have any feelings for her any more. 193 00:13:15,264 --> 00:13:17,529 I could just treat her as a guest. 194 00:13:17,566 --> 00:13:21,560 But... with you, I'd want it to be just us. 195 00:13:22,905 --> 00:13:25,704 OK. That's quite sweet. 196 00:13:25,741 --> 00:13:29,473 Yeah? Shall I go on? 197 00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:31,344 See what happens. 198 00:13:35,017 --> 00:13:37,486 Well, that was it, really. 199 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,115 Kate's got her own room. She wouldn't disturb us. 200 00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:42,021 Well, that's not it, is it? 201 00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:45,027 I mean, the thing is, would we disturb her? 202 00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:47,325 Huh? 203 00:13:47,363 --> 00:13:49,491 - You know? - Not really. 204 00:13:49,532 --> 00:13:53,333 Well, it's... a question of acoustics. 205 00:13:53,369 --> 00:13:55,929 Acoustics? 206 00:13:55,971 --> 00:13:58,668 Oh, God, you know, soundproofing. 207 00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:02,576 The thought of... Kate hearing any goings on. 208 00:14:03,979 --> 00:14:06,244 Don't laugh. It's hard enough as it is. 209 00:14:06,282 --> 00:14:08,274 You know what I mean, it's awkward. 210 00:14:08,317 --> 00:14:10,183 So what are you thinking? Egg boxes? 211 00:14:10,219 --> 00:14:12,313 I was thinking egg boxes, 212 00:14:12,354 --> 00:14:14,550 cos there's a stack of 'em in the warehouse. 213 00:14:14,590 --> 00:14:16,582 Big sheets of 'em. 214 00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:21,797 I... I can't tell her to leave. 215 00:14:22,765 --> 00:14:24,199 I just can't do it. 216 00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:30,302 You know what? I think she might be ready to go, 217 00:14:30,339 --> 00:14:32,706 but she thinks you'll be upset. 218 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:35,973 - What makes you think that? - She told me. 219 00:14:36,011 --> 00:14:40,005 She told me she was gonna start looking for a place of her own. 220 00:14:40,049 --> 00:14:42,280 Where? Here? 221 00:14:42,318 --> 00:14:43,718 Oh, close by. Yeah. 222 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,745 Oh, well, that's... that's different. 223 00:14:46,789 --> 00:14:49,156 I mean, if... if she wants to. 224 00:14:49,191 --> 00:14:52,127 I just didn't want it to come from me but... 225 00:14:54,697 --> 00:14:58,566 I... I could help her to look for a place, if it's around here. 226 00:14:58,601 --> 00:15:01,628 She doesn't have much stuff, she doesn't need much space. 227 00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:03,366 And then what? 228 00:15:03,405 --> 00:15:06,671 You... you could move in. If you want. 229 00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:10,072 OK. Do you want? 230 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:12,948 I do. 231 00:15:12,982 --> 00:15:14,507 I'm not selling my boat though. 232 00:15:14,550 --> 00:15:15,643 You don't have to. 233 00:15:15,684 --> 00:15:18,518 I'll be able to find a tenant, although it is very small. 234 00:15:18,554 --> 00:15:22,218 Well, look, you know, let's see if... 235 00:15:22,257 --> 00:15:25,386 Kate can find somewhere for herself 236 00:15:25,427 --> 00:15:29,694 and then... you could advertise for a tenant. 237 00:15:29,732 --> 00:15:32,395 That's probably the obvious thing to do. 238 00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:37,499 Yes. Yes, I think so. 239 00:15:44,046 --> 00:15:45,981 Cheers, Ray. 240 00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:02,965 Phone! 241 00:16:02,998 --> 00:16:04,899 The thing is, there's this house. 242 00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:07,960 I found this house and I think it could be amazing. 243 00:16:10,072 --> 00:16:11,665 Who's that? 244 00:16:11,707 --> 00:16:13,141 Da-da. 245 00:16:13,175 --> 00:16:14,905 - Hello? - ..There's this house. 246 00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:17,412 Are you on your way back? Are you on your way home? 247 00:16:17,446 --> 00:16:19,881 I found this house and I think it could be amazing. 248 00:16:19,915 --> 00:16:23,010 - Andy? - I found this amazing place. 249 00:16:23,052 --> 00:16:25,954 - Andy? - I've found a house. 250 00:16:25,988 --> 00:16:28,082 - I've found a house. - Let's listen to Daddy 251 00:16:28,123 --> 00:16:30,820 - talking to himself. - I found this house, Becky. 252 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:36,093 I've found this... Becky, I've found a house. 253 00:16:36,131 --> 00:16:39,829 I found this house and I think it could be within our means. 254 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,359 There's a lot of work to do on it 255 00:16:41,403 --> 00:16:42,837 but I could do the work myself. 256 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:45,136 In fact, I think that's what I wanna do. 257 00:16:45,174 --> 00:16:48,269 The only thing is, I've quit my job. 258 00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:50,939 I have to tell you at this point, though, Becky. 259 00:16:50,979 --> 00:16:52,845 Not, "at this point", that's stupid. 260 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:56,443 I have to come clean, Becky. I quit my job. 261 00:16:56,485 --> 00:16:59,819 Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 262 00:17:04,626 --> 00:17:07,323 - Hello? - Hello? 263 00:17:07,362 --> 00:17:09,922 - Anybody home? - Anybody home? 264 00:17:15,537 --> 00:17:17,267 - What? - What? 265 00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:28,549 - Hello? - Hello? 266 00:17:32,454 --> 00:17:34,923 - Have a nice day? - Have a nice day? 267 00:17:39,461 --> 00:17:42,329 - And my mum knew? - Yeah. 268 00:17:43,699 --> 00:17:45,258 That doesn't make it all right. 269 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,769 - Half makes it all right. - No, it doesn't. 270 00:17:47,803 --> 00:17:50,272 Wait till you see this house - that will make it all right. 271 00:17:50,305 --> 00:17:52,501 - So tell me what it's like. - No. 272 00:17:52,541 --> 00:17:54,772 I wanna know your first impression. 273 00:17:54,810 --> 00:17:56,836 But you have to imagine what it could be, 274 00:17:56,879 --> 00:18:00,111 so don't look at the holes in the roof or the broken window. 275 00:18:00,149 --> 00:18:03,449 - So my second impression? - Yeah, your second impression. 276 00:18:03,485 --> 00:18:05,386 How can we afford a house? 277 00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:07,321 It's an auction and there's no reserve, 278 00:18:07,356 --> 00:18:10,417 so we just take what we got and bid what we can afford. 279 00:18:10,459 --> 00:18:13,054 - We haven't got anything. - We've got some savings. 280 00:18:13,095 --> 00:18:16,395 Andy, we've got ten grand. That buys a deposit on a flat, 281 00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:19,697 not a three-bedroom cottage in half an acre of land. 282 00:18:19,735 --> 00:18:21,761 Well, if we don't try we'll never know. 283 00:18:23,005 --> 00:18:25,065 You're a dreamer. 284 00:18:25,107 --> 00:18:29,636 You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. 285 00:18:29,678 --> 00:18:32,375 - I hope some day... - I get it. 286 00:18:34,683 --> 00:18:36,083 Imagine. 287 00:18:36,118 --> 00:18:38,349 Oh, Andy, what have you fallen in love with? 288 00:18:38,387 --> 00:18:42,119 It's beautiful, isn't it? I mean, it... it could be. 289 00:18:42,157 --> 00:18:44,922 Who's gonna do the work? You? 290 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,656 - Yeah. - Single-handed? 291 00:18:46,695 --> 00:18:49,426 Single-handed, baby. That's what I wanna do. 292 00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:51,057 I'll be a full-time hobbyist. 293 00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:53,125 I'll take Stan to school, I'll pick him up, 294 00:18:53,168 --> 00:18:55,603 and I'll build us a house with roses round the door. 295 00:18:55,637 --> 00:18:58,903 I haven't seen you so enthused since we got back from Africa. 296 00:18:58,941 --> 00:19:01,536 So, what? You'd give up archaeology? 297 00:19:01,577 --> 00:19:04,172 Yeah. For a couple of years I would. 298 00:19:04,213 --> 00:19:06,409 And then I'll have time to fix the shingles, 299 00:19:06,448 --> 00:19:08,144 I'll have time to fix the door. 300 00:19:08,183 --> 00:19:11,585 I'll have time to oil the hinges and to mend the windows... 301 00:19:11,620 --> 00:19:13,748 Shut up. I get it. Go and find Stan. 302 00:19:13,789 --> 00:19:16,258 There could be bear traps or a hidden well. 303 00:19:16,291 --> 00:19:18,283 I'd pay extra for a hidden well. 304 00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:05,667 Froggy, froggy! Froggy! 305 00:20:10,746 --> 00:20:13,011 So, you been to an auction before? 306 00:20:13,048 --> 00:20:15,984 No, I but I see 'em every day on TV. 307 00:20:16,018 --> 00:20:18,578 Homes Under the Hammer, Property Lottery, 308 00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:20,248 Auctions-Auctions-Auctions. 309 00:20:20,289 --> 00:20:22,884 - You got the Auctions Channel? - No. 310 00:20:24,593 --> 00:20:27,688 Well, all you need is confidence. 311 00:20:27,729 --> 00:20:29,220 - Exactly. - Yeah. 312 00:20:29,264 --> 00:20:32,757 - So, how much cash you got? - About 12 grand. 313 00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:37,501 Bloody hell. Well, you're gonna need more than confidence then. 314 00:20:37,539 --> 00:20:41,271 Here, you fancy moving onto a house boat? 315 00:20:41,310 --> 00:20:44,109 Well, that would be a brilliant move with a two-year-old. 316 00:20:44,146 --> 00:20:47,275 Toni's looking for a tenant so she can move in with me. 317 00:20:47,316 --> 00:20:48,614 - Yeah? - Hmm. 318 00:20:48,650 --> 00:20:51,279 So if you hear of anyone looking for somewhere. 319 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,880 What about Kate? 320 00:20:53,922 --> 00:20:58,223 Good idea. Yeah. I'll ask her if she knows anyone. 321 00:21:00,662 --> 00:21:05,657 Wait a minute! I've come up with an even better idea. 322 00:21:05,701 --> 00:21:08,000 - I am a genius. - Go on. 323 00:21:08,036 --> 00:21:10,437 Kate could move onto the narrow boat 324 00:21:10,472 --> 00:21:12,737 and they could do a straight swap. 325 00:21:12,774 --> 00:21:15,539 That is a good idea. I wish I'd thought of that. 326 00:21:15,577 --> 00:21:17,341 Yeah. Yeah. 327 00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:19,746 She doesn't get seasick like me, 328 00:21:19,781 --> 00:21:23,149 doesn't have much stuff, and she loves the boat. 329 00:21:23,185 --> 00:21:25,211 Like I say, I wish I'd thought of that. 330 00:21:25,253 --> 00:21:27,279 Housing problem fixed. 331 00:21:27,322 --> 00:21:30,451 Looks like I've come up with the perfect solution. 332 00:21:30,492 --> 00:21:33,792 Couldn't come up with a few grand for me, could you? 333 00:21:33,829 --> 00:21:37,630 Yeah. We just gotta find it. A pot of gold. 334 00:21:38,767 --> 00:21:40,395 We've got a week. 335 00:21:43,238 --> 00:21:45,366 Oh, bollocks. 336 00:21:45,407 --> 00:21:49,640 We're too late. They've... sealed it off. 337 00:21:49,678 --> 00:21:52,375 Damn! 338 00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:54,906 They must have come sometime after we left. 339 00:21:54,950 --> 00:21:58,114 If only we'd got here before they put this up. 340 00:21:58,153 --> 00:22:01,282 Ah, well. At least we tried. 341 00:22:01,323 --> 00:22:02,882 Hang on. 342 00:22:02,924 --> 00:22:04,552 What? 343 00:22:06,228 --> 00:22:08,129 There's no-one around for miles. 344 00:22:10,198 --> 00:22:12,099 What you saying? 345 00:22:12,134 --> 00:22:15,002 I don't know. It's just... 346 00:22:15,037 --> 00:22:16,437 Oh, nothing, nothing. 347 00:22:16,471 --> 00:22:20,408 No, go on. What are you thinking? 348 00:22:20,442 --> 00:22:22,343 I reckon I could get under that tape. 349 00:22:24,079 --> 00:22:25,103 What...? 350 00:22:25,147 --> 00:22:27,116 I know, you're right. It's stupid. 351 00:22:27,149 --> 00:22:31,052 No. No, I reckon you're on to something. 352 00:22:42,964 --> 00:22:46,093 Keep watch. 353 00:23:25,874 --> 00:23:27,399 Done? 354 00:23:36,518 --> 00:23:38,953 Felt good, didn't it, being an activist. 355 00:23:38,987 --> 00:23:42,685 We were like Ninjas, environmental Ninjas. 356 00:23:42,724 --> 00:23:45,489 Yeah. So, er... when do the bats turn up? 357 00:23:46,461 --> 00:23:48,123 I don't know. Tonight? 358 00:23:48,163 --> 00:23:50,758 Oh, well, you reckon they'll move straight in? 359 00:23:50,799 --> 00:23:52,495 I haven't really thought about it. 360 00:23:52,534 --> 00:23:55,163 I suppose it takes a while for them to find the boxes. 361 00:23:57,339 --> 00:24:00,434 Oh, here we are, look. 24-hour bat helpline. 362 00:24:00,475 --> 00:24:01,670 Shut up, there isn't. 363 00:24:01,710 --> 00:24:04,270 There bloody is, look. Bat Action Trust. 364 00:24:04,312 --> 00:24:09,114 After hours our calls are redirected to bat volunteers. 365 00:24:09,151 --> 00:24:10,779 Do it. 366 00:24:15,657 --> 00:24:17,387 Hello. Er... 367 00:24:18,827 --> 00:24:20,693 I'm on hold. 368 00:24:20,729 --> 00:24:22,322 Busy time. 369 00:24:22,364 --> 00:24:25,027 Oh, it's ringing. 370 00:24:25,066 --> 00:24:26,728 Ah! 371 00:24:29,371 --> 00:24:31,340 Paul, turn your phone off! 372 00:24:31,373 --> 00:24:34,537 Paul! 373 00:24:34,576 --> 00:24:37,740 Can you switch your phone to aeroplane mode, please? 374 00:24:37,779 --> 00:24:40,112 It's interfering with my Arado. 375 00:24:42,851 --> 00:24:45,821 Hello? 24-hour bat helpline. How can I help? 376 00:24:45,854 --> 00:24:48,949 Oh, yes. I've got a bat question for you - 377 00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:50,618 er... a bat query for you. 378 00:24:50,659 --> 00:24:52,389 Oh, I'll certainly do my best to help. 379 00:24:52,427 --> 00:24:55,329 What's the nature of your bat enquiry? 380 00:24:55,363 --> 00:24:58,697 Yeah. Well, basically, we've installed a bat box. 381 00:24:58,733 --> 00:25:01,100 How soon can we expect the bats to turn up? 382 00:25:01,136 --> 00:25:04,595 Well, ideally you want to plant some wildflowers 383 00:25:04,639 --> 00:25:07,131 that will attract the insects and invertebrates 384 00:25:07,175 --> 00:25:08,643 upon which the bats feed. 385 00:25:08,677 --> 00:25:11,374 Or, as we like to say, provide bed and breakfast. 386 00:25:11,413 --> 00:25:13,905 Yeah, bed and breakfast. 387 00:25:13,949 --> 00:25:16,578 Well, we haven't got time for any of that. 388 00:25:16,618 --> 00:25:19,213 What's the quickest we could expect them to... 389 00:25:19,254 --> 00:25:21,223 What's the world record? 390 00:25:21,256 --> 00:25:23,885 - Can you hurry up, please? - It's the bat phone. 391 00:25:23,925 --> 00:25:25,951 Why has it come through to you? 392 00:25:25,994 --> 00:25:28,054 I'm further up the list than you are. 393 00:25:28,096 --> 00:25:30,088 Yep. Well, it's entirely possible 394 00:25:30,131 --> 00:25:32,532 the bats may have already used the tree to roost. 395 00:25:32,567 --> 00:25:35,332 Look, I got a missed call. It's supposed to be for me. 396 00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:37,202 Let me speak to him. 397 00:25:38,740 --> 00:25:40,538 And where's this tree situated? 398 00:25:40,575 --> 00:25:42,567 Let me speak to him. 399 00:25:42,611 --> 00:25:43,874 But that's... 400 00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:46,912 Hello there. 401 00:25:46,948 --> 00:25:49,474 Bat Action Trust. 24-hour bat helpline. 402 00:25:49,517 --> 00:25:50,761 You're through to Philip Peters. 403 00:25:50,785 --> 00:25:53,812 Sorry about that. A bit of a mix-up with the switchboard. 404 00:25:53,855 --> 00:25:58,384 You're now through to a more senior member. Hello? 405 00:26:01,062 --> 00:26:04,226 Hmm, nobody there. 406 00:26:04,266 --> 00:26:07,361 What? No. What? 407 00:26:07,402 --> 00:26:11,897 You're not telling us that you two are the... the bat man. 408 00:26:11,940 --> 00:26:15,604 Oh, I see. Another hoax call, is it? 409 00:26:15,644 --> 00:26:16,873 You pull that stunt 410 00:26:16,911 --> 00:26:21,042 with one of the other emergency services, you get arrested. 411 00:26:21,082 --> 00:26:24,484 - Come on, Paul. - No. 412 00:26:24,519 --> 00:26:28,251 - Pardon? - No, Phil. This looks real. 413 00:26:28,290 --> 00:26:30,156 I think these guys need our help. 414 00:26:30,191 --> 00:26:32,092 Let me see your bat credentials. 415 00:26:41,736 --> 00:26:44,228 It's genuine. 416 00:26:44,272 --> 00:26:46,605 Where's this tree? 417 00:26:46,641 --> 00:26:48,200 Back up there. 418 00:26:49,711 --> 00:26:51,737 - Could be bats there already. - Yeah? 419 00:26:51,780 --> 00:26:54,409 - Yeah. A good area for bats. - How do we find out? 420 00:26:54,449 --> 00:26:56,645 I'll have to come back, bring my detector. 421 00:26:59,754 --> 00:27:01,188 Bat detector. 422 00:27:01,222 --> 00:27:04,920 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The-the... hold on. 423 00:27:06,328 --> 00:27:08,854 Found a way we can be useful to you, have we? 424 00:27:08,897 --> 00:27:11,924 - Oh, here we go. - What do we get out of it? 425 00:27:11,966 --> 00:27:13,992 - What do you mean? - You get to save a tree. 426 00:27:14,035 --> 00:27:18,666 - The Bat Action Trust... - Oh, B-A-T, I just got that. 427 00:27:18,707 --> 00:27:21,006 Oh, that's clever. Is that another one of yours? 428 00:27:21,042 --> 00:27:24,638 The Bat Action Trust gives Paul and I the authority 429 00:27:24,679 --> 00:27:26,944 to slap a temporary preservation order 430 00:27:26,981 --> 00:27:28,449 on any tree we want. 431 00:27:28,483 --> 00:27:30,782 Providing, of course, we both agree 432 00:27:30,819 --> 00:27:32,845 that it is of special interest. 433 00:27:32,887 --> 00:27:38,326 So, I shall ask again, what do we get out of it? 434 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:39,828 What do you want? 435 00:27:41,296 --> 00:27:43,265 We want that field. 436 00:27:49,237 --> 00:27:51,035 Sly bastards. 437 00:27:52,006 --> 00:27:53,907 We can't. 438 00:27:53,942 --> 00:27:56,468 Oh... I couldn't stand it. 439 00:27:56,511 --> 00:27:59,276 Imagine if he was to find the rest of my hoard 440 00:27:59,314 --> 00:28:01,442 with his crappy Arado. 441 00:28:01,483 --> 00:28:05,443 No. I'd rather nobody found it. 442 00:28:05,487 --> 00:28:07,956 Well, nobody will have a chance in a week. 443 00:28:07,989 --> 00:28:11,448 Maybe it's time to open it up, get everybody down here, 444 00:28:11,493 --> 00:28:13,485 next weekend, before we lose it. 445 00:28:13,528 --> 00:28:15,554 Oh, I don't know. 446 00:28:15,597 --> 00:28:17,896 A week to find it, mate. 447 00:28:19,734 --> 00:28:21,760 Oh, I know it's there. 448 00:28:22,937 --> 00:28:25,133 Under our feet. 449 00:28:25,173 --> 00:28:29,474 Under the lonely earth... waiting for us. 32868

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.