All language subtitles for Detectorists.S03E04.Episode.4.1080p.BluRay.REMUX.AVC.FLAC.2.0-MJOLNiR

♪ Will you search through
the lonely earth for me?

♪ Climb through
the briar and bramble?

♪ I'll be your treasure

♪ I'm waiting for you

♪ I'm waiting for you

Morning. You sleep at all?

No, I needed a wee most of
the night, but I was too scared.

- Of what?
- I don't know.

Ghosts, I think, or a wolf.

- Did you check the spot?
- Yeah.

- Anything?
- Nah. There's definitely more.

That's why they were
watching. I figured it out.

- Who's watching what?
- I figured it out in the night.

The magpies have been
watching this spot for centuries,

successive generations of them.

The magpies know
there's more down there.

You're sounding a bit mystical.

No, makes sense.
Magpies love shiny things.

Yeah, but they
don't pass stories

- to their kids and grandkids.
- How do you know?

Might be some sort of
collective genetic memory.

Do you want a cup of tea?

How do I catch a magpie?

- Alive?
- Yeah.

- With utmost difficulty, mate.
- You reckon?

Are you joking?
What are your ideas?

What's top of your list of
ways to catch a live magpie?

- Net.
- What kind of net?

- A big one, like a landing net.
- What, and just creep up on it?

Sit in a hide?

- Put bait out.
- Good luck with that.

What you gonna do once
you've caught it? Interrogate it?

I reckon that they're
hoarding it all in one place -

the gold coins.

So if we could catch a magpie

and attach a tracking
device or a camera,

get it to take another coin,
we could watch where it goes.

I think you might have
a urine infection, mate.

You held on to it for too long.

Ah, well...

..I have to try.

- You going up the club Monday?
- What's happening?

Varde's giving a talk
on the NCP hoard.

- What's NCP stand for?
- I don't know.

National Car Parks, isn't it?
I might be late, I'm working.

You told me you quit your job.

I did. I've signed up again
with a temping agency:

weed-killing on the A414.

Nice!

I'm not in till Tuesday, so
I... I thought I might stay here,

guard the place.

Are you avoiding your flat?

No.

Hello. Have you
come about the boiler?

I'm looking for
Lance. Is he here?

- No. Is it about the boiler?
- What?

- No, sorry. Who are you?
- I'm Maggie, Lance's ex.

- Who are you?
- I'm Toni, Lance's current.

"Currant?" What, like a sultana?

No, current as in...

Oh, my God! Oh, are
you Lance's girlfriend?

Oh!

Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought
you meant like a raisin.

Oh!

Did he not tell you?

Oh, my God, this
must look awful,

me standing here in my slippers.

No, he's just letting me
stay in his daughter's room

while she's away.

Come in. Come in!

Oh!

- Kate's gone away?
- Yeah.

She borrowed his car,
his little yellow TVR,

while he's off
camping or something.

So... you're his girlfriend.

Let's have a look at you.

Ah... You're not how
I thought you'd be.

I thought you'd be
more, like, you know...

Like what?

Well, he used to
be married to me,

so someone more like, you
know, nice clothes, bit of makeup,

not so... tomboy-ish.

What's your name again?

- Trevor?
- Toni.

Oh. Oh, how funny.

No, you look cute in that.

I mean, it wouldn't suit me.

People expect me to have nice
clean nails in my line of work.

- What's your line of work?
- I'm an author.

- Are you?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I've had a bit of a tidy
up. Place was in a right state.

He needs someone
looking after him, that man.

- Are you a Scorpio?
- No.

Do you want me to
tell him you were here?

If you want.

See you.

All right, Steve. These
the new spares, are they?

Yeah, they're the new ones.
You fill the tanks with water?

- Yes, just water in there.
- OK, well,

put half a bottle
of that in each tank.

Don't get it on your hands
and don't breathe it in.

- All right?
- Yeah, that's all done, yeah.

- Don't forget your...
- Ah.

- You need filling up?
- Yeah.

- Give it here, I'll do it.
- Cheers.

Thank you, Varde.

Very interesting talk
on a fascinating hoard.

And, as ever with these things,

it throws up more
questions than it answers.

Why were so many national
cycling proficiency badges

buried together?

- And by whom?
- Hell's Angels.

Lance Armstrong.

Any other questions for Varde

before she rests her voice?

You must be quiet
hoarse after that marathon.

No questions?

OK, moving on.

Lance, you got any further
tracing your stolen coin?

Oh, I've given up
with that, Teriyaki.

I've been chasing magpies
for the last two days.

That's good.

Birdwatching's very good
for the soul, it's calming.

Yeah, not this type of
birdwatching, Sheila.

This is angry birdwatching
for monetary gain.

He wanted to catch one
and strap a camera to it.

I left a coin there,

but they didn't touch it,
cos they knew it wasn't gold.

They didn't touch it, cos
you was next to it with a net.

Actually, Varde had an
idea about that, didn't you?

Varde was saying
that magpies, you know,

being part of the corvid
family, are highly-intelligent.

So, you could, given
time, gain its trust

and get it to take
things from you.

It's all very well you
saying that, Varde.

I haven't got the time
to tame a magpie!

We lose that land
in three weeks.

Honestly, you're
all talk sometimes.

Are you sure
you're not just using

this temporary magpie obsession

to block out the difficulties

you're having in
your private life?

I was just going to say that.
- Me, too.

It seems like you're
focusing too much on magpies

and not on your real problems.

No!

Anyway, I'm done with the
gold coins and the magpies.

You were right... I'm
gonna let that one go.

Pint of Stella, please, Mike.

Hiya, Toni love, it's me.

You haven't been
returning my calls,

so I was just wondering
if everything's all right.

Anyway, give us a ring
when you get this message,

otherwise I'll... I'll
probably see you at work.

Bye.

Cheers, Michael.

Sure I can't tempt
anyone to stay?

No, no, gotta be fresh for
Bollywood class in the morning.

Terry's favourite.

Oh, yeah, you like the
old Bollywood, do you?

- Oh, yes.
- He's very good.

He could be in the movies.

If he dyed his moustache
and learnt to speak Hindi.

- Bye, all.
- See you.

Ta-ra, night.

You all right? You
gonna stay on your own?

Yeah, I've got my
magazine, you know, and...

I'm just gonna
give it another hour.

Wait for Mags to go to bed.

Bloody hell, mate,
that's no way to live.

- Won't be for long.
- I can stay for another,

but I've gotta be up early -

pressure-hosing chewing
gum in Chelmsford.

- Charming.
- Cheerio.

Cheers.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Mmm, beer and Scout hall.
- You love it.

- I do. How was the club?
- Same.

I can't imagine what
you have to talk about.

- Do you meet weekly?
- Very weekly sometimes.

Usually just turns into a
therapy session, if I'm honest.

I would love to be
a fly on the wall.

You don't have to be a fly on
the wall. You can come along.

No. Ooh, I found a couple
more flats I want to see.

- Are you working tomorrow?
- Afraid so, in Colchester.

- Oh.
- Where were you today?

- Colchester, the same.
- All day?

Till four, yeah.

Andy uncovered a portion

of Roman mosaic
last week, didn't you?

I did, yeah. We were hoping
there was gonna be more,

but we only turned up
medieval stuff today.

Didn't I see you on the
A414, outside Mornam?

Pardon? No. No, I
was in Colchester.

Looked like you, lunch time,

spraying the weeds
on the hard shoulder.

No. No. I don't know
who that could have been.

Well, if it wasn't you, why
would you know who it was?

Exactly, could've been anyone.

I'm gonna hit the sack.
Are you coming up?

- Yeah, I won't be long.
- Good night.

What was that for?

For lying about Kate
not taking your car.

Oh. How'd you find out?

I came by your flat.

- And the car wasn't there?
- No.

Was anyone else there?

Yeah, your ex-wife
Maggie was there.

Oh, right, yeah, listen,
I've made a mess...

Look, could you stop throwing
potatoes just for a minute?

I've made a mess of things.

I should've told
you, but I panicked.

You lied.

I know, but I thought
I was doing it...

Ohh! Please stop
throwing potatoes at me.

I know I deserve to have
potatoes thrown at me,

but it's very hard
to concentrate.

There's going nothing on between
us. We're not back together.

I never suggested there
was anything going on.

If there's one thing I know
you're not, Lance, it's a cheat.

Oh, well, thanks.

But you're a liar and a coward.

And those are two of my
least favourite character traits.

I don't usually lie.

You just thought you'd try
it out on me? You bastard.

Lying is what breaks couples
up, didn't you know that?

I didn't think.

Another character trait
I don't like. That's three.

- I'm an idiot.
- Four.

For months now, whenever
I suggest staying at yours,

you say Kate's there and
the place isn't your own

and you don't feel comfortable.

I've never said I
felt uncomfortable.

I just wanted to spend
some time with you.

But the moment your ex turns
up, you give Kate your car key,

say, "Make yourself scarce,"
and the ex gets invited to stay.

I couldn't turn
her away, could I?

You turn me away
on a regular basis.

Right, I'm gonna tell
her, she has to go.

- Do what you want.
- Mags!

My name's Toni, for fuck's sake!

How long have you
been waiting there?

- Two days?
- No, I heard you coming.

You don't need to rev so
hard when you're changing up.

Shut up, Dad.

I wasn't expecting
you back today.

Came home early.
That's OK, isn't it?

- So, how was she?
- She was grand. I love her.

She smells of the '70s.

Although I did back her
into a post and broke a light.

- I'm kidding!
- Oh!

- You got me going...
- Actually, I'm not kidding.

I did break a light. Don't
know why I said I didn't.

I felt like you wanted
me to say it, so I did.

So you have broke a
light, or you haven't?

I have. I'm sorry,
one of the back ones.

I'm so sorry, I
will get it fixed.

Doesn't matter, it's only a car.

No, please, don't
be heartbroken.

I thought you'd be angry.

I thought I'd be
saying, "It's only a car."

Yeah, it's just one
more thing, really.

They say bad luck
comes in eights.

Did you not have a
nice time without me?

Unforeseen circumstances.
I've messed up a bit, upset Toni.

- Oh, you're kidding?
- My ex-wife Maggie showed up.

That was your ex-wife?

Oh, my God, I
let her in the flat.

No, I had to let
her stay anyway,

cos she split up
with her partner

and she was pretty cut up.

So I let her sleep in your room.

- So you didn't even see Toni?
- No.

I'm sure you could patch it up,

if she really means
that much to you.

Yeah, there's a Triumph
specialist in Boughton,

he's bound to have one in stock.

- I meant Toni.
- Anyway, there's no rush,

as long as I get to
him this afternoon,

before he shuts at four.

Actually, you know,
I better get on with it.

Oh, I was thinking about
what you said yesterday,

and I think I know where
you might've seen me.

We did stop off in the afternoon

to survey another
site, in Waldon.

Yeah, I remember now.

Those weren't sprayers
you saw us with.

It was surveying
equipment, measuring sticks.

Oh, don't tell lies. Do
you think I'm stupid?

I know what I saw, and it wasn't
you being an archaeologist,

but an agency worker...

..spraying weed killer
on the hard shoulder.

What's going on, Andy?

It's just water. I didn't
put the weed killer in.

What is going on?

I quit my job.

- Quit or lost?
- Quit. It was a scam.

I did find a mosaic, and
I'm sure there was more of it,

but it was scraped
away in the night

before I had a
chance to find out.

Because anything
interesting found

would just delay construction
of this office block.

So then you quit
for the right reasons.

Thanks.

So what makes you think my
daughter wouldn't understand?

Well, because she
wants to buy a flat,

and she's worried
about Stan's schooling.

And... I think she'd rather I
just bit my tongue for a while

until we can afford a home.

I think you'll find that
ethics and principles

stand pretty high on
my daughter's agenda.

Yeah, I know, I didn't mean...

I'm just very aware that
after all those years studying,

I'm not making much of a
success of being an archaeologist.

Well, maybe you're
not an archaeologist.

Maybe you're more
of a... hobbyist.

You can't make any
money from hobbies.

That's why they're hobbies.

Maybe you're not a
money-maker either.

What a guy.

Sorry for lying.

Ooh!

What are you looking for?

Oh, my God! You made me jump.

What are you
doing sitting there?

This is my room.

I thought you weren't
coming back till tomorrow?

Oh.

I was just looking for
Lance's... TV licence.

Do you know where
he keeps his TV licence?

- It's not in there.
- Is it not?

No.

- You angry?
- I'm a little bit angry, yeah.

Oh, don't be silly. Come
and have a cup of tea.

God, you made me jump!

Did you have a nice time?

I can't believe he
lent you his car.

He never used to let
me go near that thing,

not to drive it anyway.

Oh, I always hated getting
in and out of that car.

I could never do it without
flashing my knickers.

How long are you staying for?

Not long. Just until
I sort myself out.

You do know he's got
a girlfriend, don't you?

Yeah, I met the current.

She's a funny little
thing, isn't she?

What are you doing here, Maggie?

Oh, dear. Are you a
little bit jealous? Yeah?

Have I upset your
cushy little number?

Cos you must have it pretty
easy here, I suppose, have you?

Treat the place like your own?

Cos it was a right
shit-hole when I arrived.

- What are you after?
- I'm not after anything, love.

You're the one taking the piss.

I don't suppose Lance has
ever told you about us, has he?

Yeah, he told me you
left him for an arsehole.

- Did he call him an arsehole?
- I think he did, yeah.

That's rude.

So what is it I need to
know about you and my dad?

That we still have
a deep connection

and we'll always be
there for one another.

Mm, he hadn't
mentioned that, no.

We have a spiritual bond

forged at a pagan ceremony
at Avebury standing stones.

He kept that one
to himself, too.

I know what Lance wants,
I know what Lance needs.

Oi! Lollipop! Message
from the Arsehole.

I reckon about
ten minutes, 15...

for you to get your spells and
your potions out of my room

and your bony arse
out of my dad's life.

- Bony arse?
- Mm, yeah, apparently.

That's from Working Girl.

That's what I said,
Melanie Griffith.

What did the text say?

Well, she wouldn't tell me,
only that it was him, you know,

Pizza Hut manager.

- She's gone now, Maggie?
- Yeah, again.

Just gotta patch
things up with Toni.

Connect 4? Did you bring games?

While away the hours.

- Where'd you get the KerPlunk?
- A charity shop.

Yeah. You know, there
isn't a single charity shop

that doesn't have a KerPlunk.

Yeah, you should check it
out. They can't shift them.

There's a Sue
Ryder in Colchester

that has a sign in the window,
"No KerPlunks, thank you."

Cos it takes too long
to put the sticks back in.

If you take the time,
the rewards are obvious.

Of course, it should really
be on a level playing surface.

Your go.

Balls.