All language subtitles for Detectorists.S01E05.Episode.5.1080p.BluRay.REMUX.AVC.FLAC.2.0-MJOLNiR

♪ Will you search through
the lonely Earth for me? ♪

♪ Climb through the
briar and brambles? ♪

♪ I'll be your treasure ♪

♪ I'm waiting for you ♪

♪ I'm waiting for you ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

I phoned, left a message.

Oh, sorry, phone's on silent.

I went to Bishop's Farm,
but you weren't there.

Yeah, I didn't really want to
go there again without Lance.

- Is that why you've fallen out?
- Kind of, yeah.

Sorry, that's my fault.

It's all right.

It was nice to meet
Becky the other night.

She seems nice.

Yeah, cheers.

She's left me.

What? Why?

- I'm not really sure.
- Well, where's she gone?

Her mum's.

Is that my fault as well, then?

Probably.

Sorry.

What are you going to do?

- About Becky or Lance?
- Both.

I don't know.

I'm thinking of
giving it all up.

What, detecting?

We're skint.

If I sell my detector,

I could afford to take
Becky away somewhere.

I've found my gold.
I think I'm done.

Lance will be gutted.

Becky won't though.

Did you watch

"University
Challenge" last night?

No.

But you always watch
"University Challenge."

I don't know how
to turn the TV on.

What?

Becky always turns the TV on.

Are you serious?

Three remote controls.

It's a complicated
sequence involving all three,

and I never got
to grips with it.

You need to get her back.

Yep, or I'll never get
to watch TV again.

Do you want to do a quick
sweep of this field, then?

No, I'm going to head off.

I've got to get to work.

See you later.

See you.

All right, Cliff?

- Done them sprouts?
- Yep.

Done them caulies?

Yep.

You, uh...

see "University
Challenge" last night?

See what?

"University Challenge."

Quiz show on TV?

Jeremy Paxman?

Done them spuds?

Yep.

Hello, Mags.

Yeah.

No, I-I'm at work.

Okay. Hang on, hang on, hang on.

Ted!

Is it all right if I knock off

once I've done
them pomegranates?

Yep. Okay.

Excuse me?

Excuse me!

Oh... sorry.

What properties do the
amethyst ones have?

Uh, uh, amethyst?

Uh, well, cleanse your chakras

and your aura.

General purpose
spiritual cleanser.

Quite strong,

like Swarfega.

And the moonstone?

Moonstone puts you
in touch with the moon,

it strengthens your spiritual
relationship with the moon.

And the quartz?

Quartz...

gives you a...

mild sense of...

paranoia.

Have you got anything shamanic?

Shamanic, shamanic,
shamanic, shamanic, sham...

Well, we've got a
whole shamanic section.

It's just over here.

Loads of it.

Sorry. I was longer
than I thought.

Kept me waiting at the bank.

That's all right. How'd it go?

No good.

They won't give me any more.

It's all about high
street chains these days.

No room for an
independent like me.

So what does that mean?

I can't afford the rent. I'm
going to have to close up.

That was my last hope.

Tony's been offered a
transfer to another restaurant.

Pizza Hut?

Another Pizza Hut,
yeah. We'll move up north.

What about all your
friends? Your mum?

She'll have to come with.

Ohh.

If only I could find someone
who'd give me a loan

just for a couple of months.

Well, I suppose...

Oh, Lance, really?

Well, no, I don't know if I can.

I mean, I'd have to
run some numbers,

see what I can spare.

That'd be so good of you.

And it would only be
for a couple of months

while I sort this all out.

The shop's starting to pick
up. It's been going really well.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, really well.

Have you sold much
while I've been gone?

Uh, just a green sky otter.

Oh.

What about Tony?
Has he got any savings?

Nah, not that
he's told me about.

He spends it all on his skin.

Right.

Oh, you'd really save
me if you could, Lance...

Yeah.

And it would mean
we could stay here,

and I'd get to see
you more often.

Hmm. Yeah, well, I don't
know if I can yet, Mags.

I'll have a look.

Yeah. Course.

I haven't got that much
time though, Lance.

Fancy a cuppa?

- Go on, then.
- Oh.

Do you take sugar?
I can't remember.

Do I take sugar? You know I do.

One.

Tea without sugar
is vegetable soup.

That's right.

Oh, I won't be a sec.

What does this do?

Oh, God. Hmm?

Oh, it's a...

spirit stick, yeah.

You...

hit spirits with it.

Come on, Becky, please.

I feel like I'm in a
Richard Curtis film.

Ah!

I told you not to come
here. I told you I'd phone you.

I lost my phone.

I thought you might
have been trying to call.

That's bollocks. I
can see your phone.

I found it again.

Were there any messages from me?

No.

Right, well, I guess I
didn't phone you, then.

I sold my metal detector.

Really?

No, not yet, but I'm
going to sell it tomorrow.

I got a quote from
the bloke in the shop,

and I'm definitely
going to sell it tomorrow.

And this is your big gesture,
your big romantic gesture?

Yeah, I suppose it is.

I thought we could
go away somewhere.

It's not about the
detecting, Andy.

What's it about, then?

You really don't know?

No, I don't think I do.

This isn't what it looks like.

Really?

Because it looks like you
kissing Sophie in a field.

It's not. She kissed me.

Right, like she was holding your
hand the other night in the pub.

Yes. This... This
isn't a romantic kiss.

This is a congratulations kiss.

Well, congratulations.

There's no tongues.

- Ah! Please spare me.
- Where did...

Did you take this?

No, I didn't.

I've got better things to do
than sneak around spying on you.

It was left on the doorstep.
I don't know who took it.

I'm not sleeping with Sophie.

I didn't say you were
sleeping with Sophie.

I just think you're getting
nice and friendly with Sophie

with a view to hopefully

sleeping with her
in the near future.

No, that's not what I want.

What do you want?

You, Becks, I want you.

I don't know if I
want you anymore.

I've got to think.

I need some time.

Please, don't come round
here, and don't phone me.

Do you...

No, I'm all right, thanks.

I'm good for photos of
you kissing other women.

Going to keep it, are you?

- Put it in your scrapbook?
- No, I just...

I didn't...

I don't want it
in there, thanks.

Pardon?

I don't want it in my mum's bin.

Have you got a recycling bin?

Just take it with you.

Yeah, right, sorry.

Hello.

Hello.

How's it going?

Yeah, brilliant, yeah.

Have you spoken to Andy?

Who?

Oh, come on, Lance.
What's going on?

Why aren't you two speaking?

Why do you think?

Because of the gold?

Look...

it used to be me
and Andy, right.

This was our escape
from the rude world,

from the madding crowd.

You know, we were quite happy

finding junk and
talking bollocks,

then you come along and
throw a shoe in the works.

Do you know how
often we find gold?

Never.

We never find it.

And that's what
we're looking for.

We don't say that.

We don't say we're
looking for gold.

We pretend we're
happy, you know,

finding buckles and
buttons and crap,

but what we're
hoping for is gold.

Find one piece of gold.

Something that's
been held by Saxon

or a Roman,

one of the other ancient peoples

that once roamed
this land before us.

Me and Andy, well,

we've been detecting along time.

We must have been pulled

a couple of tons of
metal out of this county.

Lead, bronze, copper, iron,

occasionally silver.

Never gold.

So when you buy

a second-hand metal detector

and go out for the first time

and find gold with
my best friend,

yeah, yeah, I'll admit it,

I'm a bit jealous because
I wish I'd been there.

I didn't find it. Andy did.

Oh, you were his
lucky charm, were you?

I don't know.

I didn't find it,
I didn't plant it.

He found it on his own.

Yeah, I know.

I don't believe in lucky charms.

You wouldn't say that if you saw
me in Maggie's shop yesterday.

Yeah?

Quite the new age
salesman, I was.

I didn't get to meet Maggie
the other day in the pub.

Ah. Probably lucky.

She'd have fleeced you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

She's after a loan from me

to pay her rent and
keep her shop open.

Did you give it to her?

No.

Well, didn't say I would,
didn't say I wouldn't.

If I don't,

she'll move up north, and
I'll never see her again.

Well, what's her
new bloke doing?

Why can't he bail her out?

Cause he's a cunt.

Gotcha.

Don't do it, Lance.

Don't lend her anything.

That's none of your business.

I know. Sorry.

Listen...

I've never admitted
this to anyone, but...

I really won the lottery
the day Maggie left me.

Right.

You mean, what, you
didn't realize at the time,

but, actually, it was the best
thing that could have happened?

Pardon?

You mean that...
it was a good thing.

What was?

Maggie leaving you.

- Eh?
- What did you mean then,

"I won the lottery?"

I won the lottery the
day Maggie left me.

Sorry, what do you mean?

What part of "I won the
lottery" don't you understand?

- You won the lottery?
- Yes.

- The National Lottery?
- Yes.

- How much?
- Three hundred grand.

- Shut up!
- True.

November the 5th.

She said she was leaving,

that she'd met this
bloke, and she left.

I was reeling. I...

I didn't know what to do,
so I went out for a walk,

and everywhere was lit up.

You know, firework night.

It was like everyone was
celebrating my misfortune,

so I went into this
offie to buy a can,

but I only had a quid, so
I bought a lottery ticket.

First one I've ever bought.

And bam...

300k, thank you very much.

No way!

Yes way.

Never told anyone that before.

Can I borrow a tenner?

No.

Oh, God.

What?

It's them, the Everly Brothers.

Simon and Garfunkel.

Hello, there!

Ah.

We have good news.

Go on.

This land is now a site of
special archaeological interest.

Under the jurisdiction
of Colchester Museum.

And we, the Antiquisearchers,
have been given

sole permission to
detect on this land,

as official affiliates of

and in accordance with

the North Essex
Portable Antiquities...

All right, mate. Jesus.
Listen to yourself.

You sound like a dickhead.

Speak normally.

You no longer have
permission to detect on this land,

under the Ancient Monuments

and Archaeological
Areas Act of 1979.

Still sound like a dickhead.
Look like a dickhead, as well.

- Immature, as usual.
- Dickhead.

All right.

Let's go.

Too late, mate.

They're pushing us out.

They've got sole permission.

- Did you take this photo?
- No.

Well, you haven't even seen
it yet, so, obviously, you did.

What is it?

Phil, you bastard!

- Phil?
- Phil?

Is your name Phil?

How did you know
his name was Phil?

- I thought it was Art.
- Why Art?

Shut the fuck up, Paul.

What's going on?

Do you want to tell them?

Not really.

Wait, are you an
Antiquisearcher?

- Was.
- Was?

They asked me to
keep an eye on you.

Jeez, this is like the worst
ever episode of "Scooby-Doo."

- Hello there!
- Oh, here we go.

I see you've met.

Exciting news, eh?

The MoD have
finished their survey

and the archaeology bods
are arriving at the weekend,

opening up a couple of trenches,

having a look-see
what they find.

Super.

And I understand you
chaps are helping them out.

No, these chaps are.
We've been pushed out.

What? Why?

Do you remember I told
you about the rogues?

Well, these are they.

And she was the mole.

- Andy...
- She spied on us

and passed the information
on to these chaps.

Oh, come on.

You're all metal detectors.

Detectorists!

Pub?

Go on, then.

Andy!

I'm sorry.

You see "Fifteen To One"?

No, I can't turn on the telly.

Not the same.

I know.

I miss William G. Stewart.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like Toksvig,
but you know,

she's always cracking jokes.

William G. never cracked jokes.

Very rarely.

And when he did,
they weren't funny.

Yeah, there's no room for
humor on "Fifteen To One."

You know, I knew
there was something

I didn't like about her.

Sold us down the river.

It's that new
detector she bought.

Had it for years, probably.

- And Bishop's Farm?
- Gone.

Bugger.

Well, personally,
I'm withdrawing

my bid to become club president.

Yeah, likewise.

So who's going to lead us,
then? I'm not bloody doing it.

To be honest, Russ,

I think the days of the
DMDC are numbered.

But we've still got
half a jar of coffee left.

You take it.

W-We're...

We're not going
to disband, are we?

Well, I'm going
to go independent.

Go it alone.

Like the Lone Ranger?

A bit like the Lone
Ranger, Hugh, yeah.

What about you, Andy?

I'll probably go
it alone, as well,

with Lance.

Like Tonto?

No, Hugh, not like Tonto.

Terry, you're back!

Can't keep a good
man down, Russell.

How's the leg?

Oh, a bit stiff,
but on the mend.

The doctors said he'll
back at flamenco in a month.

Well, we'll see, love.

Don't want to rush things.

Hang on, where's
the finds table?

We couldn't find it.

Oh, well, that's just great.

That is indicative

of the whole attitude
of this club, isn't it?

I'm away for a week,

and everything falls apart.

I mean, why couldn't you
use that table or that one?

Because we always
use the same table.

Nothing to put
on it anyway, Tel.

Nothing?

Nobody's found
anything this week?

We were just telling everyone,
we've lost Bishop's Farm.

Who to?

The Essex
Archaeological Society,

Ministry of Defence,

the Antiquisearchers,
you name them.

We're the only
people in the county

that aren't allowed on the land.

And where's Sophie?

Gone to the other side.

Dead?

No, she's defected.

Or rather, it turns out,

she was always on their side.

She was a spy.

Bitch!

Well...

I hope that teaches you

not to make decision
with your dicks!

You're the one who let her join.

I wasn't talking about you,
Louise, you haven't got a dick.

Huh. Sexist.

You should see him
in his Flamenco outfit.

Oh!

Sexist, Sheila, not sexy.

So, have you decided
on a new president?

Sort of lost the
enthusiasm really, Terry.

Sorry, Telly.

Well, that's it, then.

The end of the Danebury
Metal Detecting Club.

Is this the metal
detecting club?

You're too late, mate.

We're not accepting
any new members.

In fact, we're
disbanding the club.

But thank you for your interest.

Delivery for Lance Stater.

Oh, I ordered those
fleeces, didn't I?

What fleeces?

As part of my bid to
become club president,

I ordered fleeces with the
DMDC logo embroidered on them.

Shall I bring the rest in, then?

- There's more?
- Four more boxes.

Yeah, I had to get 150 to
get the discount on them.

Hey!

They're all right, these.

- Camouflage!
- What else?

So, what are you
going to do with them?

Uh...

We could share them.

Uh, 21 each?

No.

No, come on, we
can't disband this club.

Not now we got fleeces.

I am withdrawing my resignation,

taking back the presidency.

Let's breathe some
new life into this club.

We'll have an open
day, fundraiser,

recruitment drive.

We'll get new members,
put them in club fleeces,

and get out there
looking for the history

that's buried
underneath our feet.

What do you say?

I can't hear you!

Okay.

Yeah, all right.

That's more like it.

All right.

Would you like us to lift
you onto our shoulders now?

Oh, not with my leg, no.

Give him a week.

Becky, it's me.

I know you told me not to
phone, but I couldn't help it.

I need you back.

I can't turn on the telly.

That's not the reason.

I was saying that to be cute.

I'll... I'll learn how
to turn on the telly.

I could probably work it out
if I tried hard enough, but...

And I am going
to try really hard...

Not with the telly.

You know, I'm going to
try harder with everything,

with us and everything.

I'm going to sell my detector.

And I know I al... already
said that I had sold it

or I was going to, but
I didn't get around to it,

but I'm going to
sell it tomorrow

or the next day definitely.

You can count on me.
I'm going to change.

I really want this.

I want to have this...

chance to...

start again.

I'm going to pull my
finger out and my socks up

and myself together,
and we can...

I need you, Becky.

I'm nothing without you.

I can't even turn on the telly.

Brilliant. That's sorted, then.

There they are.

Bastards.

Who?

Simon and Garfunkel
detecting the spoil heap.

Damn it!

Imagine what we're
missing down there.

My gold was only a few
inches under the surface.

What are you going
to do with that?

I was going to give it to Becky.

Nice gesture.

Yeah, it would be if
she were talking to me.

She still not
answering your calls?

Can I tell you
something private?

- Becky's pregnant.
- What?

How did you know that?

So, you finally figured it out.

Who told you?

No one told me. It was obvious.

How is it obvious?

Well, she hasn't been drinking,

and we all know
Becky likes a drink.

You said she was
sick every morning,

even though she
hadn't had a drink,

and she went to be on
her own to do some thinking

when it looked like

you were wavering in
your devotions to her.

All the signs were there,
mate. How'd you figure it out?

I found a box from a pregnancy
test in the bathroom bin.

God, I'm an idiot!

Got to go and get her back.

Yeah, you're right.

Not right now, though.

Rozzers have arrived.

What are they doing?

Probably just routine,
you know, police business.

Oh, they're giving
Simon and Garfunkel

their marching orders.

Yeah?

Yep, they're packing
up. Homeward bound.

Oh. Bishop's down there.

Maybe we should go down
there, see what's afoot.

You know, grab a sneaky
sweep of the spoil heap?

You got your
detector in the car?

Pope shit in the woods?

Banzai.

Hello, Larry.

Hello, there!

What do you think
of all this, then?

It's like the Battle
of the Somme.

These trenches and
mud and god knows what.

- What's happening?
- Quite exciting, really.

First trench they
put down... bones.

- Really?
- Really.

Right there, a grave.

The history chaps say
they're looking for a Saxon.

I think they may have
found him straightaway.

Wouldn't be any bones
left in a Saxon grave, Larry.

What's that?

Saxon bones would have
rotted away a long time ago.

Why are the fuzz here?

Apparently, when
bones are found,

the boys in blue
have to be involved

until it's confirmed that
the remains are historical.

Coming over now.

Mr. Bishop?

Larry.

Do you recognize this, sir?

Good God.

That's Justine's wedding ring.

Laurence Michael Bishop,

I'm arresting you on
suspicion of murder.

You do not have to say anything,
but it may harm your defense

if you do not mention,
when questioned,

something you
later rely on in court.

Anything you do say
may be given in evidence.

Do you understand?

Perfectly, thank you.

Good God, there's a
turnup for the books.

Wasn't expecting that. Were you?

Keep an eye out for the
dogs, will you, while I'm gone?

Ohh.