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1
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,437
Definitely still
something in there.
2
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,138
I knew it! It's a piece
of shrapnel, I can feel it.
3
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:15,081
Well, meter's saying small
bronze coin, possibly Georgian,
4
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,515
but it's a bit of
an iffy signal.
5
00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:18,382
Doctors are refusing
to believe me,
6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,182
reckon I'm making a fuss.
7
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,155
- How's it feel?
- Ah, it's not too bad.
8
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,216
I was lucky I was wearing my
triple weave combat protectives.
9
00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:26,955
You were quite a
way from the crater.
10
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,224
Yeah! Blew me about 40 foot.
11
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,230
Were you running?
12
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:32,164
No, no, it was the blast.
13
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,065
So, when do you get out?
14
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,626
Couple of days.
15
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,639
They wanna make sure
that the cuts aren't infected.
16
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,150
Well they better
get the shrapnel out,
17
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,818
you can't go detecting
with metal in your leg,
18
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,253
you'll get a signal
every other step.
19
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,803
That's why Barry
Sheen had to call it a day.
20
00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:58,759
Who'd have thought, hey?
21
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,192
Mr. Health and Safety?
22
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:02,423
- Yeah, all right, Russ.
- Of all the people.
23
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,556
Do you know what
type of bomb it was?
24
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,294
Ah, it was just your basic
25
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,393
Luftwaffe FLAM C
500 incendiary, Hugh.
26
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:09,903
Cool.
27
00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:11,940
Well, there's a lesson
here for everyone.
28
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,942
Oh, what's that Russ?
Don't dig up bombs?
29
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:16,944
Don't detonate bombs.
30
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:18,536
He's right, you know.
31
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,945
I'm losing my touch.
32
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:22,108
It's a rookie mistake.
33
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,049
First day of metal
detecting school.
34
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:26,519
I thought that was don't
detect in a thunderstorm.
35
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,419
Get through a lot
on that first day.
36
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,000
Perhaps it's time to
hang up the old detector.
37
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:32,619
- What?
- No.
38
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,185
What's more... it may be time
to hand over the presidency.
39
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,254
Really?
40
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,629
For more than a decade
41
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,726
I have shared in the
turbulent history of this club.
42
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,169
I have tried to the
best of my ability
43
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:47,333
to discharge those duties
that were entrusted to me,
44
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:50,173
and now, having finished
the work assigned me,
45
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,543
I retire from the great theater
46
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,479
of action and bidding...
47
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,244
Hang on,
48
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,252
that's the George
Washington resignation speech.
49
00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,582
Doesn't matter, it's relevant.
50
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:04,057
And bidding an affectionate
farewell to this august body,
51
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:06,754
I here offer my commission.
52
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:11,856
And take leave of all the
employments of public life.
53
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:20,971
Thank you. Thank you.
54
00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:26,404
So, who's going to take over?
55
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,312
Well, that's for you to decide.
56
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,611
But I would suggest Andy
57
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,652
as the new leader.
58
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,244
What does it involve?
59
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,949
Buying a new jar of
Nescafe every three months.
60
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,184
It's more than that, Russell!
61
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,658
Every four months?
62
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:42,686
Look, there are
subscriptions to collect.
63
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,197
We've got seven members.
64
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:47,326
There are talks and
rallies to organize,
65
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,961
there are permissions to secure.
66
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,998
And I think Andy is the
man to lead this club forward.
67
00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:58,046
Ah, thanks Terry, I'll
certainly think about it.
68
00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:01,605
Good. Now, if you don't
mind, thank you all for coming,
69
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,116
but I would like
to get some rest.
70
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,016
Let us know if you
need anything, Terry.
71
00:03:05,086 --> 00:03:08,545
Take away those pillows;
I shall need them no more.
72
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,681
Lewis Carroll.
73
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,953
Get out.
74
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,236
Um, Terry?
75
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,170
Yes, Hugh?
76
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:28,573
If they get that piece
of shrapnel out...
77
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:29,837
It's yours, mate.
78
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:34,780
Thanks, Terry. Cheers.
79
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,959
But why me?
80
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,621
You're studying archaeology,
81
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,187
he sees you as legit.
82
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:53,359
Why would I wanna be
president of the DMDC?
83
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,801
Think of the power.
84
00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:58,840
Are you serious? What power?
85
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,876
The power to lord it
over Russell and Hugh,
86
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:05,140
the power to collect £3.50
off them every quarter.
87
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:08,341
No, I'm talking about the
power to change the club,
88
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,975
turn it into
something worthwhile.
89
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,680
You could get that
bloke to be patron.
90
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,552
What bloke?
91
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,683
You know, "I have
a cunning plan."
92
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,885
Sir Tony Robinson?
93
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,086
Is he a sir?
94
00:04:20,161 --> 00:04:21,789
Yeah, show some respect.
95
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:25,765
You could get fleeces with
DMDC embroidered on them.
96
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:30,100
Doubt you could buy them
in batches of less than 50.
97
00:04:30,171 --> 00:04:31,681
Well, you advertise,
increase the membership.
98
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,264
Just to fill the fleeces?
99
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:36,970
No, to increase our clout,
increase our influence.
100
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,809
The AntiquiSearchers
are officially affiliated
101
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,439
with the Colchester Museum.
102
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,746
They get to be
official detectorists
103
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,285
on any dig in the county.
104
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:49,289
We could be sitting on something
bigger than Sutton Hoo here.
105
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:52,815
Yeah, if we can turn our
club into something more...
106
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:57,160
professional, then we could
oust them from their position.
107
00:04:57,231 --> 00:05:00,668
Yeah, mount a dirty
smears campaign.
108
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,761
Eww, it's just a smear campaign.
109
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,897
You're thinking
of a dirty protest.
110
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:09,375
Whatever. Here.
111
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:12,607
Oh, nice.
112
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:17,345
Anyway, I need to
get down there again.
113
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,444
I know, I'm working
a lot this week.
114
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,988
Can't wait too long.
115
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,250
Yeah.
116
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:24,167
I'll find some time, don't
go down there without me.
117
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:26,820
Nope, okay.
118
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,294
Becky talking to you again?
119
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,763
Just about.
120
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,959
It was just a misunderstanding,
I think she was drunk.
121
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,025
Oh, didn't seem drunk.
122
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,435
No, but she was being
sick the next morning,
123
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,597
that's a sure sign.
124
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,165
No, everything's fine.
125
00:05:42,243 --> 00:05:45,680
Good, so we're all up
for quiz night on Friday?
126
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:46,907
Don't see why not.
127
00:05:46,981 --> 00:05:49,246
That's good, we need
her geography knowledge.
128
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,944
Right, not her company
and conversation.
129
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,785
Ah, just as long as she knows
the longest river in Azerbaijan.
130
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,290
I'm thinking of inviting
Sophie down, actually.
131
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,589
What?
132
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,390
Whose team would she be on?
133
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,623
Ours.
134
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,256
You're allowed up to
four members in a team.
135
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:09,064
But it's you, me and
Becks, it's always been us.
136
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,731
You know, just the
three of us, the old team,
137
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,502
that's what makes it so
impressive when we win.
138
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,476
It'll only be the once.
139
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,478
I want Becky and
Sophie to be friends.
140
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,447
Right, well good luck
with that one, then.
141
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,507
What do you mean?
142
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,075
Well, I just think
you're on thin ice,
143
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,452
could find yourself
in some hot water.
144
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:33,961
But it's always been
you, me and Lance,
145
00:06:34,028 --> 00:06:35,997
just the three, the old team.
146
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,032
Well, you're allowed up
to four members on a team,
147
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,090
and I think you'd like
her if you got to know her.
148
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,261
I don't particularly
want to get to know her.
149
00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,635
- Why not?
- Well, she's a floozy.
150
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,799
A floozy? I haven't
heard that word in years.
151
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,105
- She's a dolly bird.
- You sound like your mum.
152
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,168
Sorry, sorry, you don't
sound like your mum,
153
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,737
you've never sounded like
your mum, that was wrong of me.
154
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,908
I've just never heard
you use words like "floozy"
155
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,474
and "dolly bird" before.
156
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:58,712
But anyway, the point is,
157
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,846
by saying that you don't
wanna know Sophie,
158
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,083
you're basically saying
that you still believe
159
00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:05,217
something's going on
between me and Sophie,
160
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,921
and by your own admission
you don't believe that anymore.
161
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:11,124
Christ.
162
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,793
What is all this
stuff? It weighs a ton.
163
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,427
End of term presents from
the kids, mainly candles
164
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,529
and "world's best teacher" mugs.
165
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,937
Can't we dump it?
166
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,407
No, what if somebody found it?
167
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,786
They couldn't
trace it back to you.
168
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,507
Hello, "world's best teacher."
169
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,104
Good point.
170
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,740
Did you go the hospital?
171
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,944
Yeah, he's fine,
just cuts and bruises.
172
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,182
He's loving it, actually...
Enjoying the drama.
173
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,382
He's resigned the
club presidency.
174
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:39,359
Wow! I'll alert the media.
175
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,361
Does that mean the
end of the DMDC?
176
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:42,726
No, why should it?
177
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,424
Well, who's gonna
be stupid enough
178
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:47,593
to want to take
over as president?
179
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,136
You're not.
180
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,899
Why not?
181
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,999
Oh, God.
182
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:59,069
What possible reason could
you have for wanting to be
183
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,674
president of the Danbury
Metal Detecting Club?
184
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,310
I'd say it was an ego thing,
but there are only six members.
185
00:08:05,386 --> 00:08:06,786
Seven.
186
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,790
Being the glorious leader
of six socially awkward geeks
187
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,485
isn't gonna boost anyone's ego.
188
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,186
Seven.
189
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,320
Lance says we can
increase membership
190
00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:17,490
and then have more
power and influence
191
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,032
in the archaeological world.
192
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,797
Power and influence?!
You're deluded!
193
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,772
Lance says we can ask Sir
Tony Robinson to be patron.
194
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,468
- Who?
- Baldrick off of "Blackadder."
195
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,273
Is he a sir?
196
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,337
Yes.
197
00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:35,144
Why would he ever agree to that?
198
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:38,117
Because he's a champion of
archaeology and archaeologists.
199
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,383
But you're not archaeologists,
you're a bunch of hobbyists.
200
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:43,651
You are amateur metal detectors!
201
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,556
Detectorists.
202
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,322
Lance says...
203
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,207
You don't wanna hear
what Lance says, do you?
204
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,494
No!
205
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,126
I just see little
enough of you as it is.
206
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,797
And when I do you're
either caked in mud
207
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,033
or smelling of scout hall.
208
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,804
It was the last day of
term today, I'm a teacher,
209
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,970
I get a stupidly long
summer holiday,
210
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,605
I wanted to go away
somewhere, somewhere good,
211
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,309
somewhere with a swimming pool,
212
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,147
but we can't afford it.
213
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,744
Maybe we can go away
somewhere crap instead.
214
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:16,256
Just let us find
this ship burial
215
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:19,316
and I'll take you
wherever you want to go.
216
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,591
- Simple as that?
- Simple as that.
217
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,063
And in the meantime
218
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,566
I'll take you to the Two
Brewers for quiz night.
219
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,000
Does it have a swimming pool?
220
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,901
Mm, I'm not sure.
221
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,173
Okay.
222
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,608
Sounds good.
223
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:12,336
Yeah, hello?
224
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:15,405
Uh, can't do it mate, I'm taking
Mags and her mum to bingo.
225
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,917
Oh, what? I changed
my shift especially.
226
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:21,581
Well, why can't her
new bloke take them?
227
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,591
She uses you. She bloody does.
228
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,991
No she bloody doesn't.
229
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,224
I wanna help her.
I can do tomorrow.
230
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,591
Don't worry about that!
231
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:38,969
Bishop's given us
permission, it's still our land.
232
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,406
Yeah, well I'm sorry.
233
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:46,004
She asked me and I didn't
feel I could let her down.
234
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,241
All right, whatever.
235
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,806
Yeah, maybe.
236
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,818
All right, see ya.
237
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,094
Hey, Sophie.
238
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,063
Guess what I've got.
239
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:07,761
Technetic's UO Tech.
240
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,860
No, second-hand.
241
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,235
Nearly new.
242
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:13,331
Unwanted Christmas
present, apparently.
243
00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:14,966
So, when are we going out?
244
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,305
Ah, I dunno.
245
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,778
Lance is busy and we
sort of said we wouldn't.
246
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,337
Yeah.
247
00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:23,008
No, I suppose it couldn't hurt.
248
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,575
All right, what time?
249
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:28,315
All right, see you then.
250
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,095
Whoa.
251
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,693
Terry had a lucky escape.
252
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,260
Yeah.
253
00:11:44,338 --> 00:11:46,364
But at least he got
an anecdote out of it.
254
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,376
Well, look at me.
255
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:50,706
Very nice.
256
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:52,575
You're one of us now.
257
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,171
Just need some camouflage.
258
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,681
Why do detectorists
wear camouflage?
259
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:57,183
To hide from predators.
260
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,878
Of course.
261
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,387
- So what are we looking for?
- Saxon king.
262
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,788
- Sexred of these Saxons?
- You got it.
263
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:05,189
What's he look like?
264
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:08,160
About yay high,
beard, buried in a ship.
265
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,197
Okay.
266
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,663
So, this is your discrimination
267
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,462
that differentiates
between metals,
268
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,798
so you won't get a signal
when you go over iron...
269
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,770
And this here sets
your ground balance.
270
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,704
Yeah, yeah, boring.
Come on, let's go.
271
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,503
Whoa, slow down.
272
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,975
You gotta know these things
273
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,387
otherwise you'll spend
your whole time digging holes
274
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,722
with nothing in
the bottom of them.
275
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,011
Bollocks, set it to treasure
and let's go get rich.
276
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,572
What happened to you?
277
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,143
What happened to the girl who
was interested in local history?
278
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,298
It's not about finding
treasure, it's about finding...
279
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,950
Buttons and ring pulls?
280
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:40,756
No thank you, show me
to the non-ferrous metals.
281
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:41,988
Unbelievable.
282
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:45,055
First pre-decimal
coin buys the drinks.
283
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:14,084
♪ Will you search through
the lonely Earth for me? ♪
284
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,893
♪ Climb through the
briar and brambles? ♪
285
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:23,904
♪ I'll be your treasure ♪
286
00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:33,271
♪ I felt the touch
of the kings ♪
287
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,679
♪ And the breath of the wind ♪
288
00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:39,151
♪ I knew the call of
all the songbirds ♪
289
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:44,851
♪ They sang all
the wrong words ♪
290
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,861
♪ I'm waiting for you ♪
291
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,798
♪ I'm waiting for you ♪
292
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:42,776
You won't believe the
photo I just took of you.
293
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,355
Oh, my God!
294
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,257
You found your gold.
295
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,764
I found my gold.
296
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,042
Oh, dear.
297
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:13,274
I think we're
gonna get told off.
298
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,254
Basically, good
news and bad news.
299
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,846
What's the bad news?
300
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,415
MOD have turned up,
site's out of bounds,
301
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,620
they're doing geophys to
determine whether there's
302
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,596
any more unexploded
subsoil ordnance.
303
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:34,032
Well, just as long as they
don't find anything pre-1940.
304
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,194
How did you find out?
Did you phone bishop?
305
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,865
Well, that's where the
good news comes in.
306
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,568
Wait for it...
307
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,075
Ta-da.
308
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:46,910
What's that?
309
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,608
Gold stater.
310
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:51,652
Well, I know what it
is... Where did you get it?
311
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,311
Bishop's farm, not
far from the crater.
312
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,254
You went there without me?
313
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,916
Yeah.
314
00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:00,654
I know we sort of said,
but didn't think you'd mind,
315
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,161
and we certainly
didn't expect...
316
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,994
"We"? Who's "we"?
317
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,761
Me and Sophie.
318
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,166
She bought a detector,
she wanted to try it out.
319
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:11,330
- Didn't think you'd mind.
- Well, I do mind.
320
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,373
I do mind you went to
Bishop's farm without me
321
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,567
when you said you wouldn't,
322
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,439
I do mind you went with Sophie.
323
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,087
And I do mind you found
your first gold with her
324
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,306
and not with me.
325
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,904
Come on, mate.
326
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,176
Did you do a dance?
327
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,249
No.
328
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,150
We always said we'd do a
dance when we first found gold.
329
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,779
Yeah, well it didn't seem
right without you there.
330
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,586
Oh, didn't wanna feel un-cool
in front of your new girlfriend?
331
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,990
She's not my girlfriend.
332
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,186
Why don't you do it now?
333
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,753
- What... dance?
- Yeah.
334
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,095
- Here?
- Yeah.
335
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,165
No.
336
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,667
Go on, dance.
337
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:42,998
Don't wanna.
338
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,197
Well, why don't you
get out of my flat then?
339
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:46,968
- Come on.
- No, go on.
340
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,204
I got stuff to do.
341
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,512
We still doing the quiz?
342
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,348
Yeah, yeah, I-I'm
doing the quiz, yep.
343
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,785
Huh, good.
344
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,152
But not with you.
345
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,417
What?
346
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,652
Well, you've got a
new detective partner...
347
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,455
She can be your new
quiz partner and all.
348
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,325
- Come on, mate!
- No, I'll find my own team.
349
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,455
And while we're at it,
350
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,863
I've decided to stand
for club president as well.
351
00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,732
We can't stand against
each other, that's ridiculous.
352
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,100
Oh, pull out then.
353
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,833
Or better still, whoever
loses the quiz on Friday,
354
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,807
they can pull out
the presidency.
355
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,242
Who's your team?
356
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,507
Oh, I've got people.
357
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,673
Intelligent people.
358
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,216
Get out.
359
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:54,105
Two halves for the ladies.
360
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,305
And a pint for me. Cheers.
361
00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,676
Thanks, love.
362
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,349
Why are you drinking
girls' drinks, Lance?
363
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,886
- Watching the figure?
- Driving.
364
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:08,387
Still got the old banger?
365
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,048
TR7's a classic.
366
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,354
Take no notice,
Lance, he's just jealous.
367
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,326
Jealous of the yellow peril?
368
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,420
I don't need a penis
extension to prove myself.
369
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,590
It's not a penis
extension, Tony.
370
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,293
Penis extensions are red.
371
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:24,634
It is a penis extension... A
tiny, yellow penis extension.
372
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,138
Can we stop talking
about my penis?
373
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,970
Probably best.
374
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,805
Leaves a bad
taste in the mouth...
375
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:31,367
Or so I've heard!
376
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,606
Tony!
377
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,686
What do you mean? Why not?
378
00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:45,624
- He's got a new team.
- What new team?
379
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,957
- I dunno.
- Well, who's gonna be our sub?
380
00:18:48,028 --> 00:18:50,088
- Sophie, I told you.
- What?
381
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:51,597
I told you.
382
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,576
I want you to see that
she's actually really nice.
383
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,765
I'm sure she's bloody wonderful.
384
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:07,310
- Oh, look, there's Lance.
- Who's he with?
385
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,145
- What's going on?
- Well, nothing, who's he with?
386
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,660
- Have you two fallen out?
- No, what? Why?
387
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,030
Brilliant, I'm gonna be sitting
there like a lemon while you
388
00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:15,965
- ignore your boyfriend.
- He's not my boyfriend.
389
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,457
And hold hands
with your girlfriend.
390
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,168
- She's not my girlfriend.
- She's a floozy.
391
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,491
- She's not a floozy.
- Who's not a floozy?
392
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,792
Hello, Sophie!
Look, it's Sophie.
393
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,126
- Oh, yes.
- Hi.
394
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:31,001
So, Sophie, this is, um,
Becky. Uh, Becky, this is Sophie.
395
00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:33,267
- I think you've met before.
- Yep, hi again.
396
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,705
Hello.
397
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,334
Sorry I poured three pints of
strong European lager over you
398
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,844
last time we met.
399
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:40,039
It was an accident.
400
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,048
That's okay.
401
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:43,811
It happens all the time.
402
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,186
What are you
drinking Sophie? Pint?
403
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:50,382
Three please.
404
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,762
Right, I'm going for a fag.
405
00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:58,423
You coming, Mags?
406
00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,522
Yeah, go on then.
407
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,431
No, they're about
to start in a minute.
408
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,935
Won't be long.
409
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,875
All right?
410
00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:18,145
Come on mate,
this isn't worth it.
411
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:20,016
Come and join us at our table.
412
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,646
Loser pulls out
of the presidency.
413
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,384
If you like.
414
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,085
And loser leaves the club.
415
00:20:26,159 --> 00:20:27,889
All right, tosser.
416
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:28,985
- You tosser.
- Are you?
417
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,031
No, you are.
418
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,153
Right then, quiz
rules state that...
419
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,475
Oh, wow, come
on then, that's us.
420
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,385
Everyone must hand
over their telephones
421
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,575
for the duration of the quiz.
422
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,351
So, how does this work?
423
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,122
Quizmaster asks the questions,
424
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,892
and if you know the
answer you write it down.
425
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,763
Yes, it's your basic pub quiz.
426
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,894
Different rounds,
different subjects.
427
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,029
What's your
speciality, do you think?
428
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,596
Children's programs?
429
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:17,041
Well, I'm studying
ancient history, so...
430
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,705
Yeah, doesn't often come up
in the Two Brewers pub quiz.
431
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,680
You're a primary school
teacher aren't you?
432
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:23,546
So you're probably
good at most subjects.
433
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,415
- That's right.
- Up to year six standard.
434
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,235
Where have you been?!
We're about to start.
435
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:35,319
- All right.
- Jesus, don't wet yourself.
436
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:37,660
And if everybody's ready...
437
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,756
Round one...
438
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:42,392
The sports round.
439
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:49,173
Question one, which football
club is nearest the Mersey?
440
00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:50,574
It's Liverpool.
441
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,243
No, Stockport. It's
definitely Stockport.
442
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,832
People think it's
Liverpool or Everton,
443
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,246
that's why he put
the question in,
444
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,113
but it's definitely
Stockport, put it down.
445
00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,827
- Stockport, Stockport.
- Question two...
446
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:03,619
What was the 1966
World Cup mascot
447
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,091
in England?
448
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,287
I know it, I know it.
449
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:11,763
- Oh, that's it.
- Willy?
450
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,609
Hopefully some geography
questions will come up.
451
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:14,743
Becky's got a geography degree.
452
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:17,293
Oh, my god, amazing.
453
00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,305
Well done you.
454
00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:36,122
Moving on to round
two. Lads' mags.
455
00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:38,454
Yes!
456
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:43,462
What does "FHM" stand for?
457
00:22:45,064 --> 00:22:47,158
Just... Just give
him the pencil.
458
00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:49,225
All right, have the pencil,
it doesn't bother me.
459
00:22:49,302 --> 00:22:52,170
Write it.
460
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:54,139
Look at them, they
know everything.
461
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:55,869
Don't you read lads' mags, Andy?
462
00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:57,501
No.
463
00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,773
No, lads' mags are for
men having midlife crises
464
00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:02,907
who like looking at pictures
of floozies and dolly birds.
465
00:23:12,659 --> 00:23:16,528
Round three, the
Balearic Islands.
466
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:19,031
Danke schoen!
467
00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:24,695
Onto the next round, ITV2.
468
00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:25,771
What?
469
00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:28,741
Oh, series link.
470
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:30,106
What sort of category?
471
00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:39,210
Onto round five, astronomy.
472
00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:40,412
Here we go.
473
00:23:40,486 --> 00:23:42,387
Question one,
474
00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:44,947
what star sign are
you if you was born
475
00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:46,287
on the 10th of October?
476
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:47,793
That's not...
477
00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,192
No, I know this, I know this.
478
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:51,561
No. No, no, no, that's
astrology, not astronomy.
479
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:53,122
What's the difference?
480
00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:57,503
She's got it, she knows it.
481
00:24:06,179 --> 00:24:09,274
And final round this
evening is archeology.
482
00:24:09,349 --> 00:24:10,544
Here we are.
483
00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:15,449
What year was the tomb of
Tutankhamen discovered?
484
00:24:15,521 --> 00:24:16,955
Who?
485
00:24:17,023 --> 00:24:18,423
1923.
486
00:24:18,491 --> 00:24:19,424
'23.
487
00:24:19,492 --> 00:24:21,620
No, it's 1922.
488
00:24:21,694 --> 00:24:22,889
Is it?
489
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,931
The actual discovery of the tomb
490
00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:26,761
when they found
the steps was 1922;
491
00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:29,098
when they broke through
into the burial chamber
492
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:30,602
and found the wonderful things,
493
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:33,139
that was early 1923.
494
00:24:33,206 --> 00:24:36,438
I did a project with
my year six children.
495
00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:39,778
Well? This is your department,
496
00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:41,747
Indiana Jones and
the Temple of "Uh"!
497
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:42,941
I know, it's just, I...
498
00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:45,678
It's either 1922 or 1923.
499
00:24:45,752 --> 00:24:47,744
Oh, no!
500
00:24:49,922 --> 00:24:51,982
Put both years, put both.
501
00:24:57,163 --> 00:25:01,123
And the winners tonight,
502
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,862
who got every question right...
503
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:05,803
apart from them ones
in the archeology round...
504
00:25:05,872 --> 00:25:07,306
They were quite difficult.
505
00:25:07,373 --> 00:25:09,467
The winners are...
506
00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:11,135
this team here!
507
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:18,549
We win!
508
00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:20,348
Here we are. Here, fellers.
509
00:25:20,420 --> 00:25:22,719
Humiliating defeat.
510
00:25:22,789 --> 00:25:25,782
Just goes to prove
Lance is the trivia king.
511
00:25:25,858 --> 00:25:28,123
Still, nice to meet you Sophie.
512
00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:30,789
Yeah, you too. See ya.
513
00:25:33,399 --> 00:25:36,096
See ya.
514
00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:52,816
Which is why you
need to elect me
515
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,751
as your next president.
516
00:25:54,821 --> 00:25:58,258
Look, if I'm right,
ladies and gentlemen,
517
00:25:58,324 --> 00:26:01,453
then this is it,
this is the big one,
518
00:26:01,527 --> 00:26:04,053
what we've all been looking for,
519
00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:09,000
the final resting place of
Sexred, King of the East Saxons.
520
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:12,800
So, what we gotta do
is make the initial find,
521
00:26:12,872 --> 00:26:17,139
then we can secure our right
to play a part in the excavation.
522
00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:19,770
So, let's get some
new members in,
523
00:26:19,846 --> 00:26:21,144
some fresh blood,
524
00:26:21,214 --> 00:26:25,948
and let's get some fleeces with
"DMDC" embroidered on them.
525
00:26:26,018 --> 00:26:29,477
No, Russell, it won't
be too expensive
526
00:26:29,555 --> 00:26:31,956
because I've got a
mate who works down at
527
00:26:32,024 --> 00:26:35,222
the custom fleece warehouse
and he'll give us a discount.
528
00:26:35,294 --> 00:26:36,990
What's that, young Hugh?
529
00:26:37,063 --> 00:26:40,124
Well, do you see Andy here?
530
00:26:40,199 --> 00:26:45,433
Where is Andy in
our hour of need?
531
00:26:49,375 --> 00:26:52,345
Sorry, do you want to be
alone with your detector?
532
00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:54,505
Yeah, if you wouldn't mind.
533
00:27:00,253 --> 00:27:01,983
Do you talk to it?
534
00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:03,716
Sometimes.
535
00:27:03,789 --> 00:27:06,725
Does every detector
have its own personality?
536
00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:08,818
Lance would have
you believe they do.
537
00:27:08,895 --> 00:27:10,454
Why aren't you talking to Lance?
538
00:27:10,530 --> 00:27:12,123
What's it all about?
539
00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:14,599
Uh, I went detecting
on Bishop's farm
540
00:27:14,667 --> 00:27:16,465
when sort of said we wouldn't.
541
00:27:16,536 --> 00:27:19,335
- On your own?
- Yeah.
542
00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:21,397
Oops.
543
00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:23,773
He'll get over it.
544
00:27:23,843 --> 00:27:25,903
Don't be sad.
545
00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:28,675
I'm gonna let him
be club president.
546
00:27:28,748 --> 00:27:31,343
Well, you should,
he's totally suited to it.
547
00:27:31,417 --> 00:27:32,976
And you'd be rubbish.
548
00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:35,180
I've pulled out of
the presidential race.
549
00:27:35,254 --> 00:27:37,189
Was it a race?
550
00:27:37,256 --> 00:27:39,725
Sort of... no, not really.
551
00:27:39,792 --> 00:27:41,920
I'm glad anyway, I
didn't really wanna do it,
552
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,054
I just got caught up
in all the excitement.
553
00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:48,033
Oh, my God, you are so sad.
554
00:27:50,036 --> 00:27:51,664
Hang on, why
aren't you drinking?
555
00:27:51,737 --> 00:27:55,299
You haven't got school tomorrow.
556
00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:57,605
There's a reason.
557
00:27:59,078 --> 00:28:01,343
Oh, bloody hell. Who's that?
558
00:28:05,618 --> 00:28:09,555
- What reason?
- Hang on.
559
00:28:09,622 --> 00:28:13,024
What reason? Are you
trying to lose weight?
560
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,577
I didn't say you
needed to lose weight,
561
00:28:46,626 --> 00:28:47,769
you don't need to lose weight,
562
00:28:47,793 --> 00:28:49,433
I thought that's why
you weren't drinking.
563
00:28:49,462 --> 00:28:52,296
Becks, what you
doing? Where you going?
564
00:28:52,365 --> 00:28:54,891
- To my mum's.
- Is it what I said?
565
00:28:54,967 --> 00:28:58,665
It's not because of what you
said, it's what you've done.
566
00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:01,867
- What have I done?
- Wrack your brains!
567
00:29:04,143 --> 00:29:05,509
Becky, wait.
40468
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