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1
00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:20,640
What is it?
2
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:23,860
Anybody?
3
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:26,300
A sport?
4
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:29,000
Sport. Can you be more specific?
5
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:30,920
Full content.
6
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,760
Okay.
7
00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:34,860
Anyone else?
8
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:36,740
What else?
9
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,800
I mean, in the water.
10
00:03:42,060 --> 00:03:43,060
Don't.
11
00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:46,960
Come on, guys.
12
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,600
Anyone else?
13
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,520
What about you, in the middle?
14
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,140
What? Me?
15
00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:59,060
Yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah, no, um... We're
just about working together.
16
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:04,820
Um, like, as one big family or whatever.
17
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:06,560
Joe!
18
00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:10,740
What else?
19
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,920
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, um...
Communication?
20
00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:16,659
Don't hug the ball.
21
00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:20,760
Oh. We have communication.
22
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,220
We have... Very
23
00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:33,940
good,
24
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,200
very good, very good.
25
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:39,300
Oh, so very smooth. Very good, very
good.
26
00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:42,540
Very good.
27
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,640
Thank you.
28
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,080
supposed to be in here for 15 minutes?
29
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:46,000
Um, only... 10 minutes.
30
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,400
All right, there you have it.
31
00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:00,700
You're breathing pretty good, huh? Yeah.
Not too bad?
32
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:01,980
No, yeah, yeah, good.
33
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,000
I spoke to your mom earlier.
34
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,860
Hey, no cause for concern.
35
00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:09,220
She's a nice lady.
36
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:10,760
I was having a chat.
37
00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:13,400
She said you guys had just moved from
Boston.
38
00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:16,360
Yeah. Yeah. It was a big move.
39
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:17,960
It was pretty exciting.
40
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,100
It was scary.
41
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,360
You know, I remember I moved to San
Diego when I was 10.
42
00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:28,200
And that was like stepping onto another
planet, you know?
43
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:33,560
Anyway, I just wanted you to know I'm
your coach, but I'm also here if you
44
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,820
wanted to, you know, talk.
45
00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:38,470
I know this whole thing could be a
little daunting, you know.
46
00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:40,750
Okay? Thank you. Go.
47
00:06:41,490 --> 00:06:43,810
All right, now I'm going to fill in this
stupid form.
48
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:49,790
My goals by the end of the summer are to
blank, blank, and blank.
49
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,440
Excuse me. Sorry.
50
00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:42,360
I've
51
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:51,780
got
52
00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:58,040
one. Would you rather your food always
be hot and you never get used to it,
53
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,240
always hot, or have no knees?
54
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,800
Food has no knees. No knees?
55
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:04,830
These knees, they're gone. You don't
have knees.
56
00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:09,850
No knees. Uh, wait, so... I don't have
no knees. Hot, like, spicy... The food
57
00:08:09,850 --> 00:08:10,789
already has no knees.
58
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:16,550
No, just... Um... Hey, would you guys
rather... A, every time you have an
59
00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:21,770
orgasm, the song All Star by Smash Mouth
plays, or B, every time the song All
60
00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:24,590
Star by Smash Mouth plays, you guys have
an orgasm?
61
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:28,850
B. Yo, fuck Smash Mouth. How does it
play in the A situation?
62
00:08:29,150 --> 00:08:33,330
I like the small, but, like... decently
powerful boombox that just magically
63
00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:37,929
appears when you orgasm. So wait,
64
00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:40,929
does the entire song play, or can you
make it soft?
65
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,350
The entire song.
66
00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:44,570
Still A.
67
00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:46,170
What'd you just say?
68
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:47,890
What?
69
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,550
You said, can you make it soft?
70
00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,270
What?
71
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,230
No.
72
00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,530
What'd you just say, then?
73
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,960
Nothing. Make it stop. No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
74
00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:05,319
He didn't.
75
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,320
What?
76
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,080
Say stop.
77
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,820
What? No, why?
78
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,020
You can't say it. Yo, who can't say
stop?
79
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,400
Yes, I can.
80
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,940
Okay. Then say it.
81
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,240
Wait, wait, so guys, would you rather...
82
00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:32,840
Okay, would you rather - Bro, he can't
say it.
83
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:38,140
See how he doesn't want to say it? Then
say it.
84
00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:40,940
Say it!
85
00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:43,680
Say it! Okay, okay, okay, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
86
00:10:19,390 --> 00:10:21,990
They taste normal to me.
87
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,890
No parents get all the help out of
coffee.
88
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:28,810
Can you say pasta?
89
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,280
Yeah, that's exactly the only truth for
me.
90
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:50,220
Would you rather suck a dick, but you
can have sex, or you don't do that,
91
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,920
but you can never have sex again?
92
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,520
No, never have sex again.
93
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,920
What's up? Damn, what's good?
94
00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:00,640
Uh, I just, I heard your event.
95
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,040
What is an event?
96
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,760
Uh, like you were here last session?
97
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,520
Oh, yeah, I was.
98
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:13,790
I was supposed to just stay for first
session, but my dad fucked up and paid
99
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:16,590
both, and he couldn't get a refund, so I
had to stay.
100
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,770
He was so pissed when he realized you
should have seen his face. Holy shit.
101
00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:22,350
Uh, who are the others?
102
00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:25,170
Vets? Me, Logan.
103
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:26,510
What's up? Matt.
104
00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:30,270
You can go. What? Chickie and Eli.
105
00:11:32,570 --> 00:11:33,570
Eli's a vet?
106
00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:35,630
Sadly.
107
00:11:38,050 --> 00:11:39,050
No, I just...
108
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:42,770
They're supposed to, like, improve or
something.
109
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,110
Only if you try.
110
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:47,070
You have a dream.
111
00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:48,230
Bye.
112
00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:57,790
Uh, so what's with the whole, like,
musical chairs -y thing?
113
00:11:58,710 --> 00:11:59,710
What?
114
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,310
Uh, like at lunch? Oh,
115
00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:04,130
the plague?
116
00:12:04,930 --> 00:12:06,130
You guys got the plague?
117
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:12,960
It's not funny, bro. You ever heard of
leprosy?
118
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:17,520
Wait, Eli's a leper?
119
00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:20,720
Lepers aren't real, but similar.
120
00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:24,760
There's no official prognosis, so we
call it the plague.
121
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:29,940
Like, those aren't regular pimples.
Those are plague pimples.
122
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,840
It's a plague face.
123
00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:36,000
Like, I'm telling you, bro, he didn't
have pimples a few weeks ago.
124
00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:38,120
That's some plague shit right there.
125
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,640
A few days later, he gets a freaky -ass
rash all over his body.
126
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,800
Like, why do you think he wears that
shirt all the time?
127
00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:48,900
You think that's a fashion statement?
128
00:12:49,780 --> 00:12:50,780
Nah, bro.
129
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,260
That's some plague shit.
130
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,600
Next thing, it affects the nervous
system.
131
00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:58,700
Breaks down motor skills.
132
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:05,720
You bump into some things, trip over
yourself, you start dropping shit.
133
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,740
Normal things, like eye contact.
134
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,240
Or the ability to hold a, like, regular
conversation.
135
00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:16,420
Just goes out the window.
136
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,760
Turns your brain into baby food.
137
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,440
No brain, no nothing.
138
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:29,240
So, I mean, shouldn't he... Shouldn't
he, like, see a doctor?
139
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,480
I mean, he had. It's like herpes.
140
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,500
No cure for him.
141
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,560
So, it's like contagious?
142
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:51,160
Incredibly. But only through touch,
so... If you're exposed...
143
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,640
Oh man, you just gotta wash yourself
like that.
144
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000
It's too cold for you, Soppy?
145
00:14:58,920 --> 00:14:59,980
Uh, nah.
146
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,360
It's good. Nah, it's, um, good.
147
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,260
Soppy, you get no bitches.
148
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,960
Soppy, where are you from?
149
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:13,900
Um, Boston.
150
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,120
Huh?
151
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,640
Boston. Boston?
152
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:18,580
Like, what?
153
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:42,310
Yo, yo, that's where Eli was sitting.
He's infected.
154
00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:48,130
Thinking about this girl I saw earlier.
155
00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:50,350
Okay. What girl?
156
00:16:50,850 --> 00:16:52,530
She live in Canada?
157
00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:57,110
Yo, come and get this man some lube.
158
00:17:00,990 --> 00:17:02,130
Yo, tell me about her.
159
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:05,170
We all want to hear it.
160
00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:13,109
Sophie!
161
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:24,359
I'm picturing her standing in the
shower, washing herself.
162
00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:26,319
Okay.
163
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:35,660
Suddenly she starts, like, rubbing
herself,
164
00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:42,200
and she tells me how, like,
165
00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:45,680
wet she is.
166
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,020
Hardcore shit, bro. Close.
167
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,080
And,
168
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:05,440
um... Not gonna lie, so
169
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,440
did I.
170
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,580
Uh, sorry.
171
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:10,780
I did too.
172
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:07,550
What are
173
00:20:07,550 --> 00:20:14,270
you
174
00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:17,230
doing? What do you mean what am I doing?
That's the pirate call, stupid.
175
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:21,210
That's not a pirate call. That is a
pirate call, so tell me what that is
176
00:20:21,590 --> 00:20:23,870
That's like a viking call though. What
is a viking?
177
00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:26,450
It's like an old village.
178
00:21:17,740 --> 00:21:21,360
Now we've better... How do you do
179
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:26,060
that?
180
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,620
Thou shalt never know, mortal.
181
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,200
about the blow water game.
182
00:27:33,420 --> 00:27:36,560
That separates the pros and the
amateurs.
183
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:44,620
And in the Olympics, they like shave
their pubes so people can't pull them
184
00:27:44,620 --> 00:27:45,319
of their water.
185
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:46,320
Yep.
186
00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:48,120
Yeah.
187
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,040
My brother says you have to have long
fingernails.
188
00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:52,840
You can trash guys.
189
00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:57,280
So the secret is keep them smooth but
kind of long.
190
00:27:57,780 --> 00:28:00,800
After they've been approved, just bite
them in the little points.
191
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,240
Is your brother like a pro?
192
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:09,960
I mean, he's only 18, but Princeton and
Brown are basically a death match over
193
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:10,960
him.
194
00:28:56,780 --> 00:28:57,780
I think I came.
195
00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,040
Right, Stomp?
196
00:29:09,260 --> 00:29:10,260
This guy, Charlie.
197
00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:12,460
Last session.
198
00:29:12,980 --> 00:29:14,140
He's the one who gave it to Eli.
199
00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:17,840
Got to the point where I couldn't even
hold a coherent conversation.
200
00:29:18,540 --> 00:29:19,780
He had to go home early.
201
00:29:20,980 --> 00:29:22,920
Is he okay now?
202
00:29:24,970 --> 00:29:26,930
Last I heard he was in some mental
institution.
203
00:29:29,050 --> 00:29:30,550
Spends his days playing Jenga.
204
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:07,280
Don't forget to mark your calendars. The
highly anticipated summer swi dance for
205
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:13,620
all camps is coming up in the main
gymnasium. This year's theme is Under
206
00:32:13,620 --> 00:32:14,620
Sea.
207
00:32:34,220 --> 00:32:38,620
Cheers No Doritos No, she is
208
00:32:38,620 --> 00:32:42,560
I Wouldn't be an evil No,
209
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:50,820
they just No, I could I could turn I
could turn the
210
00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:55,260
majority of sips into good people. Are
you fine? Yeah, I would probably just
211
00:32:55,260 --> 00:33:00,320
kill you. No, I would I would I would
make sure that they all became good
212
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,120
It's a question.
213
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:21,080
How old?
214
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,320
Thirteen. Thirteen.
215
00:35:23,620 --> 00:35:24,620
Twelve.
216
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,040
Thirteen and twelve.
217
00:35:31,020 --> 00:35:32,020
Old enough.
218
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,300
Old enough.
219
00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:39,240
Your actions are not neutral.
220
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:46,340
I mean, did any of you even once stop
and think, how would I feel if that were
221
00:35:46,340 --> 00:35:51,920
me? And you were called out in front of
the girls and pointed at and laughed at
222
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:55,300
for something that I swear to God you
got no control over.
223
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:58,360
Logan?
224
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:00,940
I guess I'd feel bad.
225
00:36:01,540 --> 00:36:03,520
You guess you would feel bad.
226
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,100
Says the guy that lit the match.
227
00:36:06,860 --> 00:36:07,980
I was just joking.
228
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:10,200
So you think it's funny?
229
00:36:11,540 --> 00:36:12,540
No.
230
00:36:15,620 --> 00:36:18,650
Jake? What about you? Do you think it
was funny?
231
00:36:18,930 --> 00:36:21,830
I mean, kind of, yeah.
232
00:36:22,030 --> 00:36:23,030
Kind of, yeah.
233
00:36:24,450 --> 00:36:27,070
And why? Explain to us. Why do you think
it was funny?
234
00:36:27,450 --> 00:36:34,370
Well, for one, his dick was hard. Let me
ask you this.
235
00:36:34,450 --> 00:36:37,870
Have you ever been shamed in front of a
group?
236
00:36:39,150 --> 00:36:41,330
Like, deeply, deeply shamed?
237
00:36:41,850 --> 00:36:43,450
That's exactly what you're doing right
now.
238
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,560
So you're, what, 13?
239
00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:53,240
12. 12.
240
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:59,080
Yeah. And you're laughing at the
stupidest, most juvenile, five -year
241
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,160
Beavis and Butthead kind of... Five
-year -old George Beavis and Butthead?
242
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:07,120
have two seconds to wipe that smile off
your face, or all of you, because of
243
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,620
Jake, are going to be doing burpees in
the sun all day.
244
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,480
I'm not even joking.
245
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:13,760
One.
246
00:37:49,650 --> 00:37:55,460
Okay Donkey, donkey, donkey, donkey. D
-d -d -donkey, d -d -d -donkey. D -d -d
247
00:37:55,460 --> 00:37:57,720
-d -donkey, donkey, donkey, donkey.
248
00:37:58,540 --> 00:38:00,080
Donkey, donkey. Can you, like, stop
doing that?
249
00:38:00,540 --> 00:38:02,140
Can you, like, stop doing that?
250
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:05,060
Suck my dick, Sobby.
251
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Suck your own dick.
252
00:38:07,180 --> 00:38:08,180
That's not even possible.
253
00:38:08,540 --> 00:38:10,060
Yes, it is. No, it's not.
254
00:38:10,260 --> 00:38:11,259
Yes, it is.
255
00:38:11,260 --> 00:38:14,800
Mike Griswold does it all the time. No,
he doesn't. Yes, he does.
256
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,260
How? What do you mean, how?
257
00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,220
The man is double jointed.
258
00:38:18,580 --> 00:38:19,700
End of story.
259
00:38:21,950 --> 00:38:22,950
You a vegetarian?
260
00:38:25,030 --> 00:38:26,030
Yeah.
261
00:38:26,190 --> 00:38:27,190
Why?
262
00:38:28,230 --> 00:38:31,210
Well, I guess I just feel bad for the
animals.
263
00:38:33,030 --> 00:38:36,570
Would you care if it's, like, a three
-tongued, like, cow that's, like, all
264
00:38:36,570 --> 00:38:37,570
gross and shit?
265
00:38:37,950 --> 00:38:39,150
Yeah, would you, soppy?
266
00:38:40,810 --> 00:38:42,090
I still feel bad.
267
00:38:42,430 --> 00:38:46,470
You know, you can't just go around
killing innocent cows just because
268
00:38:46,470 --> 00:38:47,470
different.
269
00:38:48,270 --> 00:38:49,710
How could you not want to bite this?
270
00:38:51,630 --> 00:38:52,970
You just don't feel bad?
271
00:38:54,170 --> 00:38:55,170
Like at all?
272
00:38:56,090 --> 00:38:57,790
It's not as hard as three tongues.
273
00:38:58,810 --> 00:39:00,530
Chill, stop. You're a spouser.
274
00:39:01,190 --> 00:39:02,790
I'm not. You're not.
275
00:39:03,130 --> 00:39:04,750
It's not as hard as three tongues.
276
00:39:06,910 --> 00:39:09,550
You have two seconds to wipe that smile
off your face!
277
00:39:09,910 --> 00:39:11,290
Two! Ten seconds.
278
00:39:12,210 --> 00:39:13,650
Can you be more specific?
279
00:39:13,910 --> 00:39:15,370
Can you be more specific?
280
00:39:15,910 --> 00:39:16,910
Yeah, I'll...
281
00:39:26,559 --> 00:39:28,240
Where you going?
282
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:30,880
To the bathroom.
283
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,640
Yo, Eli, what's up?
284
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:31,060
Um, how long do you think we've been in
here for?
285
00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:32,900
Gelatin.
286
00:40:33,820 --> 00:40:37,780
What? You mix it in with foundation
makeup and pour it in a silicone mold.
287
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,620
Then you paint more detail and do the
blood last.
288
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:43,560
What are you talking about?
289
00:40:44,180 --> 00:40:45,180
What else?
290
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:46,560
For the trick.
291
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,920
Oh! Yeah. Frankly, for the blood, it's
important you don't buy the sore stuff.
292
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,960
Either make it with corn syrup and food
coloring, or save yourself some next
293
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:57,960
time you cut yourself.
294
00:40:59,100 --> 00:41:00,100
You do that?
295
00:41:00,420 --> 00:41:03,160
Yeah. You just put the corn syrup in a
bowl and add the food coloring.
296
00:41:03,910 --> 00:41:06,730
Sometimes I like to add a bit of water,
just so it's not too viscous.
297
00:41:07,230 --> 00:41:10,350
Uh, no, you... you cut yourself?
298
00:41:11,290 --> 00:41:12,290
Tiny prick.
299
00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:15,050
It's soothing, like I found that. Look.
300
00:41:20,750 --> 00:41:21,790
You shouldn't do that.
301
00:41:22,010 --> 00:41:23,010
Why?
302
00:41:23,490 --> 00:41:24,490
Because it's bad.
303
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,860
Sometimes I dig my nail into my thumb to
bleed.
304
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:42,920
You're not from here, right?
305
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:56,980
Um... My mom met some guy at a media
summit,
306
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,160
Phil.
307
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,680
Um... And they had an affair.
308
00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:06,000
And she left my dad.
309
00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:08,620
I used to live in Boston.
310
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:14,560
So basically, we just, like, uprooted.
311
00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:21,240
So it's been kind of weird.
312
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:34,800
Do you like your mom?
313
00:42:36,460 --> 00:42:37,460
She's my mom.
314
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:41,400
Do you ever think about the fact that at
some point in your life she had to give
315
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:42,440
head for the first time?
316
00:42:42,700 --> 00:42:43,700
Ew, no.
317
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:45,160
Who are you?
318
00:42:45,420 --> 00:42:48,440
We want it. We need it. We must have the
process.
319
00:42:48,700 --> 00:42:50,300
They stole it from us.
320
00:42:50,620 --> 00:42:51,620
Holy shit.
321
00:42:52,460 --> 00:42:54,320
What's the tricksy hobbit's field?
322
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,020
Open fat hobbit's head.
323
00:43:06,279 --> 00:43:10,660
Would you rather fuck a dog and no one
ever knows about it, or not fuck a dog
324
00:43:10,660 --> 00:43:12,080
but everyone thinks you fucked a dog?
325
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:15,080
Fuck a dog?
326
00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:16,500
I think?
327
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:18,480
That's evil.
328
00:43:35,660 --> 00:43:38,800
Hey, uh, you talked to a doctor, right?
329
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:42,840
They gave me this cream, but I think it
might be making it worse.
330
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:04,060
Um... Do you need a hand, or...?
331
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:09,680
I don't want to infect you.
332
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:13,920
What do you mean?
333
00:44:15,420 --> 00:44:16,420
With the plague.
334
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,940
You don't actually believe in that, do
you?
335
00:45:18,190 --> 00:45:19,190
Thank you.
336
00:46:17,339 --> 00:46:20,140
Thank you.
337
00:46:25,900 --> 00:46:27,040
Thank you.
338
00:46:59,340 --> 00:47:01,660
Okay, you can stop.
339
00:48:21,060 --> 00:48:22,060
Like,
340
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,080
not even a thing.
341
00:48:24,720 --> 00:48:27,240
He said you gave Eli a back rub.
342
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:35,460
Yeah, I don't... That's totally untrue,
so... He said he used scented oils or
343
00:48:35,460 --> 00:48:37,500
something, like lavender.
344
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,440
You know the plague is fake, right?
345
00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:46,260
Yeah.
346
00:48:46,860 --> 00:48:47,860
It is done.
347
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:55,240
You forgot your goggles.
348
00:49:20,780 --> 00:49:21,800
I don't have the plague.
349
00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:25,080
Well, you told everyone I have the
plague.
350
00:49:26,260 --> 00:49:27,260
No, I didn't.
351
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:28,680
Yes, you did. I know you did.
352
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:30,560
Provided the dots.
353
00:49:30,660 --> 00:49:32,080
I can't help with others. Connect them.
354
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:33,760
The dots?
355
00:49:34,740 --> 00:49:38,640
Giving Eli a back rub? It's not... It
wasn't a back rub.
356
00:49:39,900 --> 00:49:40,900
Okay.
357
00:49:43,860 --> 00:49:47,660
How would you feel if I told everyone
your mom's like a stripper?
358
00:49:49,460 --> 00:49:51,110
Confused? Confused?
359
00:49:51,790 --> 00:49:52,790
I feel.
360
00:49:53,850 --> 00:49:55,550
Really fucking confused.
361
00:49:57,670 --> 00:49:58,670
Why?
362
00:50:00,110 --> 00:50:01,510
My mom is dead.
363
00:50:03,810 --> 00:50:04,950
It's not funny.
364
00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:07,910
I'm not joking.
365
00:50:12,850 --> 00:50:14,310
There's nothing wrong with me.
366
00:50:14,610 --> 00:50:15,610
Okay.
367
00:50:17,110 --> 00:50:18,430
The plague is fake.
368
00:50:24,180 --> 00:50:30,340
Okay. Can you please tell everyone that
I'm, like, good?
369
00:50:30,700 --> 00:50:31,860
I thought you said it's fake.
370
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,200
I mean, it is.
371
00:50:33,980 --> 00:50:34,980
Right?
372
00:50:35,580 --> 00:50:36,740
Maybe you don't have it.
373
00:50:37,140 --> 00:50:38,560
Did you wash your hands after?
374
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,380
After what? The back rub.
375
00:50:40,780 --> 00:50:42,220
It wasn't a back rub.
376
00:50:42,900 --> 00:50:44,340
You need to help with this rash cream.
377
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,080
Okay.
378
00:50:48,580 --> 00:50:49,960
Why are you doing this to me?
379
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:51,880
Doing what?
380
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:54,480
Telling everyone that I have to play.
381
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,500
Don't let what other people think decide
who you are.
382
00:50:58,740 --> 00:51:00,740
What is that, like a fortune cookie?
383
00:51:01,660 --> 00:51:02,660
Dennis Rodman.
384
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,140
Well, I washed my hands twice.
385
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,560
That means I don't have it, right?
386
00:51:22,350 --> 00:51:23,350
open anything.
387
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:05,400
Some tasty morsels.
388
00:53:06,660 --> 00:53:08,220
Got fries there, hot dog.
389
00:53:08,780 --> 00:53:09,780
Skittles.
390
00:53:10,300 --> 00:53:11,300
Gummy bears.
391
00:53:12,720 --> 00:53:13,720
Thanks.
392
00:53:17,300 --> 00:53:23,380
This kid, Nixon Segali, he put laxatives
in my thermos before our trip to New
393
00:53:23,380 --> 00:53:24,420
York to see Les Mis.
394
00:53:25,240 --> 00:53:29,640
And the bus didn't have any bathrooms,
so... Yeah.
395
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:32,240
My mom had to come pick me up.
396
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,160
It sucks because I actually really like
what I'm in.
397
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:41,880
Yeah.
398
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:44,280
Exactly.
399
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,820
At least me and Logan have girls.
400
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:49,720
No. You guys don't have girls.
401
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:55,680
All right, well, either you can get
going. I think it's like Margaret.
402
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,560
Motor skills?
403
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:43,120
Gone.
404
00:55:09,649 --> 00:55:10,649
What do you think?
405
00:55:10,950 --> 00:55:13,130
That's actually a great question. Where
the fuck is Dobby?
406
00:55:16,790 --> 00:55:19,590
Maybe he's giving them some back time.
407
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:27,500
Yeah, yeah, I I was just wondering If
408
00:58:27,500 --> 00:58:32,560
you could just pick me up
409
00:58:58,350 --> 00:59:01,470
Hey, you know what my favorite day of
high school was?
410
00:59:03,470 --> 00:59:04,630
Very last day.
411
00:59:07,170 --> 00:59:08,170
Hated it.
412
00:59:08,410 --> 00:59:11,630
Yeah, had a nickname. It was Chubbs.
413
00:59:12,450 --> 00:59:19,430
I hadn't even been overweight since
middle school, but the name followed me.
414
00:59:19,430 --> 00:59:23,270
then, you know, it was stuck in my head.
And then, you know what?
415
00:59:24,330 --> 00:59:25,350
I graduated.
416
00:59:27,340 --> 00:59:30,900
And I left it all behind, and I started
fresh.
417
00:59:32,660 --> 00:59:33,660
See?
418
00:59:36,500 --> 00:59:39,360
So, your 20s were good?
419
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:47,460
Uh, no, no. I mean, I had my heart
broken, and then, you
420
00:59:47,460 --> 00:59:51,820
know, I gained some more weight, 30
pounds, and then, oh, then...
421
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:57,260
I put my back out, just literally
reaching for a set of keys, and the
422
00:59:57,260 --> 00:59:59,220
said I was never going to, you know,
recover.
423
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:04,760
But even still, yes, it was way better
than my teens.
424
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:10,660
Than my 30s, better than my 20s, and
now, I mean, look at me now.
425
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:12,360
Right?
426
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:13,880
40, 40.
427
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:21,780
And your teens were better than...
428
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,620
Like, your first decade?
429
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:26,160
Hell no.
430
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,980
I mean, that time is just pure bliss.
431
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:31,680
I mean, nothing better than that.
432
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:37,700
This is like the most depressing pep
talk ever.
433
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:42,120
Look, just... be yourself, because...
434
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:46,300
Ben, what else are you gonna be?
435
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:50,240
You're you. It's cool.
436
01:00:51,100 --> 01:00:52,800
Just be yourself, man.
437
01:00:56,390 --> 01:00:57,830
workout. No, it's a cliche.
438
01:01:04,490 --> 01:01:06,130
I don't know if that helps.
439
01:01:09,590 --> 01:01:10,590
Anyway.
440
01:01:11,310 --> 01:01:13,030
My mom didn't yell at you, right?
441
01:01:13,950 --> 01:01:15,810
She is disconcerned, that's all.
442
01:01:16,730 --> 01:01:18,190
You really scared her.
443
01:01:19,530 --> 01:01:20,570
It's okay to cry.
444
01:01:20,830 --> 01:01:21,830
Just let it out.
445
01:01:22,790 --> 01:01:23,790
Let it out.
446
01:01:24,010 --> 01:01:25,010
It's cool.
447
01:01:33,130 --> 01:01:36,550
She just doesn't know how to, like, be a
person.
448
01:01:41,110 --> 01:01:42,890
Someone giving you a hard time, Ben.
449
01:01:47,450 --> 01:01:50,110
Because if they are, you just got to
tell me.
450
01:01:50,830 --> 01:01:52,590
Because your silence is helping no one.
451
01:01:53,750 --> 01:01:54,750
Especially not you.
452
01:01:58,810 --> 01:01:59,810
Is it Jake?
453
01:02:00,770 --> 01:02:01,990
What? No. No.
454
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:03,600
Not why.
455
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:07,120
Okay.
456
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:18,340
Listen, guys like Jake, they're just
scared.
457
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:22,380
They're terrified of guys like Eli
because he's different.
458
01:02:24,180 --> 01:02:25,240
You want to know a secret?
459
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:27,120
We're all different.
460
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:28,320
All of us.
461
01:02:29,710 --> 01:02:33,450
I haven't even thought about the guys
that call me chubs until, like, right
462
01:02:33,610 --> 01:02:38,670
In fact, right now, they're probably
sitting on a couch. Guess what?
463
01:02:39,930 --> 01:02:40,950
Super chubby.
464
01:03:02,030 --> 01:03:03,030
What do you say?
465
01:03:05,390 --> 01:03:06,390
Want to take me home?
466
01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:34,890
I didn't agree.
467
01:03:35,150 --> 01:03:37,050
Exactly. Why did you just say it?
468
01:04:17,130 --> 01:04:20,970
What's in their bed?
469
01:04:21,630 --> 01:04:25,350
They have this, like, big bathtub. It's
like a waterfall style.
470
01:04:26,150 --> 01:04:29,950
Just slide in the butt tube, pop your
legs up.
471
01:04:30,670 --> 01:04:31,670
Yo,
472
01:04:32,150 --> 01:04:36,790
my uncle has a hot tub in the jets.
They're amazing.
473
01:04:37,350 --> 01:04:38,990
He gets it.
474
01:04:49,550 --> 01:04:50,850
You ever been to Mongolian Grill?
475
01:04:53,130 --> 01:04:58,190
It's insane, like I got some meat
cleavers. It's like... How are you doing
476
01:04:58,190 --> 01:04:59,190
today, ma 'am?
477
01:05:03,130 --> 01:05:04,470
I've always wanted to start a
restaurant.
478
01:05:04,930 --> 01:05:05,930
Wait.
479
01:05:06,690 --> 01:05:11,030
Maybe, instead of being seated at a
booth, you're brought to your own
480
01:05:11,030 --> 01:05:14,870
sauna and it's like... Good morning,
folks. Welcome to Steaming Sizzle. Can I
481
01:05:14,870 --> 01:05:15,870
take your order?
482
01:05:16,090 --> 01:05:17,390
Open 24 -7.
483
01:05:31,630 --> 01:05:38,410
Do you ever think, like, maybe the
plague isn't
484
01:05:38,410 --> 01:05:40,250
100 % fake?
485
01:05:56,170 --> 01:05:57,170
Never mind.
486
01:05:57,730 --> 01:05:58,950
That was a dumb question.
487
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:05,000
I think there's something wrong with me.
488
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:10,000
What do you mean?
489
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:15,080
I don't know.
490
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:17,160
I just feel something's wrong.
491
01:06:23,700 --> 01:06:28,360
Yeah, but... But that's... It's a
feeling.
492
01:06:29,140 --> 01:06:30,140
Right?
493
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:32,160
I get it.
494
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:34,740
It's not actually real.
495
01:07:24,430 --> 01:07:25,430
Stop me.
496
01:07:27,930 --> 01:07:28,930
Hey, what's up?
497
01:07:34,190 --> 01:07:35,250
Talk to Daddy Wags.
498
01:07:37,410 --> 01:07:39,730
Just want to say if I've been a dick or
anything, you know, I'm sorry.
499
01:07:41,550 --> 01:07:42,550
What? No.
500
01:07:42,610 --> 01:07:43,610
No, no, no, no, no.
501
01:07:44,170 --> 01:07:46,870
I have an older brother. I'm just used
to being around his friends, and we just
502
01:07:46,870 --> 01:07:49,330
give each other shit all the time. Yeah,
I don't even know what you're talking
503
01:07:49,330 --> 01:07:50,330
about.
504
01:07:52,770 --> 01:07:53,770
Really?
505
01:07:55,690 --> 01:08:01,470
Well, you know, I saw them talking to
you, but what happened?
506
01:08:01,730 --> 01:08:07,710
You know, I got the big old lecture on
bullying and stuff, but... So dumb.
507
01:08:08,550 --> 01:08:09,730
What is this, kindergarten?
508
01:08:15,130 --> 01:08:21,090
You know, maybe Eli said something.
509
01:08:23,330 --> 01:08:24,330
You think?
510
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:35,000
Yeah. Maybe.
511
01:08:35,859 --> 01:08:36,859
Maybe.
512
01:08:37,020 --> 01:08:38,600
I guess I'll see you later. Yeah.
513
01:14:03,020 --> 01:14:06,900
Would you rather not hike for 48 hours
or spend the day with money?
514
01:14:40,650 --> 01:14:44,050
If you drink water
515
01:18:03,790 --> 01:18:07,070
You don't know a fucking jack shit about
water polo, bitch.
516
01:18:51,400 --> 01:18:57,200
okay great get out come on come
517
01:18:57,200 --> 01:19:00,360
on get out
518
01:19:00,360 --> 01:19:06,920
huh what do you think
519
01:21:45,900 --> 01:21:48,720
Hey, whoever gets a handjob first gets
ten thousand.
520
01:22:00,800 --> 01:22:04,460
That's the flag at the peak of its
shape.
521
01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:50,060
Eli. What's that?
522
01:22:50,680 --> 01:22:51,680
What are you doing?
523
01:22:54,660 --> 01:22:57,660
Eli, what are you doing?
524
01:22:58,220 --> 01:23:03,080
Ben, I am dancing. No, Eli, you're not
dancing because you have no one to dance
525
01:23:03,080 --> 01:23:04,080
with. Yes, I do.
526
01:23:04,260 --> 01:23:05,360
I'm dancing with Boopy.
527
01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:07,520
He doesn't care about the plague.
528
01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:09,400
Right, Boopy?
529
01:23:10,380 --> 01:23:11,380
Hey!
530
01:23:20,330 --> 01:23:21,330
Why'd you do that?
531
01:23:50,120 --> 01:23:51,120
No, no, no, Rod.
532
01:23:52,200 --> 01:23:56,720
You think that you can be yourself and
not give a shit what anyone thinks.
533
01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:02,160
But that only works when yourself is the
kind of person other people want to be
534
01:24:02,160 --> 01:24:03,160
around.
535
01:24:03,580 --> 01:24:06,340
Eli, no one wants to be around you.
536
01:24:06,740 --> 01:24:07,740
No one!
537
01:24:22,410 --> 01:24:26,450
to grow the up and realize it's time to
start behaving like an actual human
538
01:24:26,450 --> 01:24:28,110
being or you're just gonna
539
01:25:23,660 --> 01:25:24,660
You left?
540
01:25:24,980 --> 01:25:25,980
It's not funny.
541
01:26:07,790 --> 01:26:08,850
Thanks.
542
01:29:25,550 --> 01:29:26,550
Did you?
543
01:29:55,980 --> 01:29:59,660
Take me away, take me away, take me away
544
01:30:37,010 --> 01:30:38,550
Get the dog to your chair.
35843
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