All language subtitles for Scrubs s01e02 My 2nd First Day

You ready for your first day, Chief? I
sure am, Chief.

And tonight's my welcome dinner. You're
coming, right? Absolutely. If someone at

your table doesn't show up, you're
allowed to eat their cake. Wait a

know that smirk. You got me a present,
didn't you? I did.

Oh, my God.

No, no. This isn't your present. Their
bus jumped a median. I got you these.

Two Chiefs.

Oh, my God. I know. My littlest made
them for us. Mine's chocolate. Yours is

vanilla. I'll take brown.

We're going to need a secret handshake.
I worked on that at 4 o 'clock in the

morning. You ready? This is how it goes.
We go two chiefs, high five, bring it

down. And then jab hands if we have
time.

Sure. Hey, kid, do me a favor.

Give us the beat.

Throw some stank on it. This is our
first chief strut. Make it nasty.

Okay, our next patient, Blake.

This is Ms. Flynn, 42, admitted with
edema, fatigue. My very first rounds

my interns.

I needed to establish my teaching style.

Be firm.

That's not going to cut it, buddy boy.

But I correctly diagnosed her, and she's
being discharged.

Oh, sorry. To be honest, I was thinking
about my teaching style.

Great job, buddy boy. Next patient.

You've never been good at being mean.
Try super friendly with fun nicknames.

Okay, this is Stanley Campos, admitted
for cardiac amyloidosis. He's

hyponatremic. Who can tell me why?

It's hypervolemic hyponatremia,
secondary to congestive heart failure.

Nice job, Dr. Tosh. You are on fire
today. I'm going to call you... Hot

You called an intern hot mouth?

Dr. Tosh was answering every question
right. She was on fire.

Dr. Dorian, in the future, I'm going to
need you to... Wait, I know. Bring it

down.

Okay, leave the gestures to me.

In the future, I'm going to need you to
stop and think. Now, if you'll excuse

me, my next meeting is going to be a
long one.

Thinking of things that are long?

Nope, I'm not going to finish that. The
big dog has learned that's not

appropriate. Todd, you're showing huge
growth.

Well, then you should be my dog.

I can't do this all on my own. No, I
know.

I'm no Superman.

I'm no Superman.

Being chief of medicine was an
opportunity to change the culture, to

interns with dignity, and to put patient
care above profits.

I had been chosen by the best to ever do
it. And even though they painted him

like a serial killer, I'm not going to
let him down.

I know you're thinking you won't let him
down, but I can assure you, you most

definitely will.

You haven't worked at a hospital in over
15 years, and you think you can prance

in here like a gay little reindeer ready
to lead Santa's sleigh? Even though

Rudolph was there before you, Rudolph
worked harder, and Rudolph deserves it

more. I'm guessing you're Rudolph.

Just like in the movies, every hospital
has a hero and a villain.

Appletini, Shagan, Monster.

My name's Dorian.

John Dorian.

Seriously? You made me the Asian villain
with no lines?

And yet here you are, talking.

That was definitely not shaking.

Listen, when I see something I want, I
get it. You see those two gorgeous

surgeons back there?

Before they met me, they were married.
And then I banged them both.

Wow, that is a lot of input for me first
thing in the morning. That's exactly

what they said.

What is your point?

I'm very good at sex. Now, what is your
macro point?

I don't quit until I get what I want.

How are you?

I was going to check in because I know
you've had a rough week. But then I

realized, it's funny really, is that we
don't have each other's numbers.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Okay, Asher, you're patient. Take it
away.

Stanley, or as I call him, Stan the Man.
Oh, we're not doing nicknames anymore.

Dr. Bullet there, bud.

Anyway, Stanley here has a heart full of
joy.

Well, his chart says he has a heart full
of protein deposits, so maybe start

with that.

Stanley, are you taking your medication?

I am.

And Ashy here has been really worried
about me, but I'm doing, you know, I'm

doing all right.

Oh, my God. Is he coding? He's coding.

Oh, my God.

I've got you.

He almost started chest compressions and
broke most of your ribs, but good one.

Let's get a TDM and check the level of
meds in his system.

After you.

Bullhead.

He's crashing.

Nurse compressants taught in debate.

Visualize the larynx.

Get the tube in place.

I'm in.

But his jaw fell off.

Am I going to get sued for this?

Should I fix it? No, you don't have to
fix this. Okay.

You have to fix this.

I'm the head of the hospital simulation
program.

His mannequins are so old, they don't
even think I should have the right to

vote. Is that Norm?

Oh, he and I go way back.

I put my mouth on him before I ever put
my mouth on you.

Pay attention.

Every other hospital has a high -tech
simulation program with mannequins that

provide real -time vitals.

It's a big expense, J .D., but this is
your chance to actually make a

around here.

You know what? Elliot, thank you for
bringing this to my attention.

I'm going to approve it.

Yes! I owed it to Norm.

He made me a better kisser. We won't
ever tell her what really happened,

will we?

I felt good about my decision.

Cutting -edge technology was the best
way to give interns hands -on

None of you allowed to touch my surgical
robot. That is my robot. Whose robot is

it? Your robot.

Exactly. When it arrives, if you plan on
using it, you will have to finish every

single training module.

Oh, Dr. Turd. Yes.

I'm in the middle of an 18 -hour shift.
When am I supposed to learn all this

without losing my mind? That is a great
question, Tashana. What is that not,

everyone? Your problem.

Exactly. Exactly.

Matter of fact, don't even look at this
no more.

Hi.

Hospital -mandated nap time about to go
down. Thankfully, I have my Winston

smart sleep mask. Thank you, Winston.

Hey, could you create content elsewhere?
I'm just trying to sleep.

Oops, sorry.

I just have to say I've followed you
since bed school.

Huge fan.

Sorry.

Are they like your sleep mask?

My aunt knitted mine. She has arthritis
and can't tighten enough.

It lets in a lot of light, but I just
count the holes until I fall asleep.

like counting stars.

They send me these for free. They're
Velcro, so they wrap around your head.

Maybe you could wrap it around your
mouth so I can take part in the mandated

-minute REM sleep.

Thank you.

Stanley, do your blood works show that
you aren't taking your medication?

I'm taking it.

The lab results don't lie, do they?

Even with my insurance, it's like a
thousand bucks for 90 pills.

So I take two a week instead of one a
day.

Makes them last longer.

It's all I can afford.

A thousand dollars for 90 pills.

The NHS isn't perfect, but you do
realize all our prescriptions only cost

dollars. How the hell is anyone supposed
to afford to live in this country if

they get sick?

Well, if you're ugly, there's GoFundMe.
If you look like me, it's OnlyFans.

Good heavens.

Look, you don't have time to get
involved. You have too many patients to

Hey, dummy, let's go. Tick -tock.

To maximize profits, doctors are
required to see five patients every

That's only 12 minutes per patient.

It can feel a bit mechanical.

You know what?

I'm changing the culture around here.
Don't worry about Dr. Park. You call the

insurance company, you do whatever you
need to do for Stanley.

But what about my patients?

I'll cover them.

Trust me, they won't notice you're gone.

That's not nice.

Thank you, Dr. Dorian.

I'll call his insurance company now.

And there it was.

The look that I had given Dr.

Cox so many times. The one that said,
Dr. Dorian, you're the mentor I've

dreamed of.

Ooh, it sounded even better in British.

Next stop on Chief Day One, it was time
to double down and bond with the most

important people in the hospital.

Hello, charged nurses.

You two are a fun pair.

I'm going to call you... By your given
names.

Mine's John Dorian. Oh, you better not
be.

Oh, but I am.

Nope.

Retracted. I'm the new chief of
medicine.

You're Dr. Reed's ex -husband. We've
heard all about you. Taking a mistress.

Cheating on that queen.

Beautiful queen. Cheating on that
beautiful queen. I never cheated on that

queen. Beautiful queen. I never cheated
on that beautiful queen.

A mistress, Elliot? You're telling
people I cheated? That's a lie.

I never...

I mean, sure, I vented about our
marriage, but it was basic stuff, like

drifted apart or how you reloaded the
dishwasher every time I loaded it. Cups

don't go on the bottom, Elliot. That's
what the top shelf is for.

Oh, relax, Judy. You know how hospital
gossip is? It just takes on a life of

own. I get it. It's just I'm the chief
now, and I can't have people hating me.

know. Thanks so much again for the Sim
Lab upgrade.

Okay, so some people had the wrong idea
about me. I didn't need everyone to be a

fan.

I'm going to need you to stop fangirling
over that med intern.

Got it. Will do. Thank you. But I just
find her so inspiring.

Dude, I find her ridiculous.

You kidding me?

Oh, hi. I'm Dr. Tosh. I'm eating lunch.

Oh, I can't eat lunch without telling
you I'm eating lunch.

Comment what I should eat for lunch
tomorrow.

Like... Hey!

Hey! I don't think I was supposed to
hear that, but I'm glad I did.

I'm sorry. I get secondhand
embarrassment and I need a minute.

Hey. Hey. Have you heard these rumors
about me having a mistress?

Yep. But you can't stop hospital gossip,
so I hooked you up.

I made her a really sexy Brazilian woman
named Valentina.

You want to hear about some of the stuff
y 'all got into? No.

But I bet Valentina has caramel skin.

Oh, you know she does.

Mmm, Valentina.

I just hope all the gossip doesn't
undermine my chiefing. Hey, look at me.

Your chiefing is amazing, and I mean
that.

Look at that guy right there. Yes, hi.
I'm trying to get a voucher for my

patient's medicine.

He's over there fighting the good fight
because you taught him that.

I'm proud of you, Chief.

Two cheese.

I'll see you later.

Can I help you?

Oh, I'm just here for the show.

What show?

What the hell? I'm not getting my robot
because of you.

You know what? You can keep your damn
teeth bracelet.

How dare you? The board froze my funding
because apparently you approved some

sim lab for Elliot? Who told you that?
He did!

Oh, I did.

What the hell, J .D.? Drag him.

I just got a text that I might not be
getting my sim lab because of Turk's

stupid robot.

Oh, I sent that one, too. The board said
there's only room in the budget for one

of them?

So what's it going to be, chief?

Okay, I bet you just calm down. I need a
minute. And more drama in three, two,

one. Dr.

Dorian, I need a minute. Bring us home,
Simi. Not a big deal, but did you tell

this little English chalamet to do what
it takes to help his patient with

insurance? Yes, I did. Okay, well, I
lied about the not a big deal part. Can

tell him what you said? Well, I lost my
temper with the person on the phone. I'm

sorry. You did a bit more than lose your
temper with the person on the phone.

Chitty, chitty, bang, bang.

What happened to no nicknames? He
screamed a curse word that they use over

London that no one in this nation would
ever have the audacity to yell in a

hospital. Except maybe in gynecology.

Okay, listen.

I'm going to fix this.

Everyone get out of here. Just give me a
minute. You take this. Go.

You're out to mind if you think I'm
going to wear this.

Bravo, Chief.

I mean, you promised Elliot a sim lab
without checking the budget, or you

have known that that robot would bring
in much -needed revenue for this

hospital.

You're a people pleaser. You want to
help everybody, Dr. Dorian? You can take

look at this and make sure the hospital
stays open.

I looked at the numbers. The robot will
bring in money. The sim lab will cost us

money. I'm sorry, Ellie.

Even though I wanted to be Asher's hero,

Focus on your patient load and discharge
Stanley.

Are you being serious?

Dead serious.

Sometimes you have to be the villain.

Want to go to the buffet?

Fine. Let's do it.

I know I hit a wall with Stanley's
insurance and the drug company, but

got to be another way. Not for us.

It's up to Mr. Campbell to figure that
out now. I took a Hippocratic oath to

first do no harm. Letting this man
slowly kill himself because he can't

medicine is definitely causing him harm.
Asher, I have a hospital to run, and

you have many patients to see.

That is your job.

Around here, victories are short -lived.

What did we get? The robot!

And what do we do?

The robot!

Let's go.

Sorry about the timeline, Elliot.

Not your fault.

Of course, J .D. sided with you. It's
always been that way. I don't know why I

even tried.

Elliot. Elliot!

What the hell was that?

I'm gonna need you to help, please.

I don't know, Turk. I guess I just wish
J .D. would prioritize me the way he

does you. Oh, okay. You sound crazy
right now.

What did he just call her? Crazy.

Oh, no, he didn't. Oh, yes, he did,
Francois.

Yes, he did.

Damn, y 'all supposed to be on my side.
Why, because you're black? No, because

we black. You do not get preferential
treatment over that fine queen. She's

through too much. Too much. But take
some of this lotion, baby.

For what?

For them ashy -ass elbows you got
walking over here. Come on. You got to

that beautiful melanin. Yeah.

Get on it. 30 seconds. Yeah, thank you.
He's fine as hell, but I will never let

him know. Girl, he's going to do you
wrong.

So, that thing happened.

And, look, I didn't... mean for you to
hear it and hopefully it won't happen

again um i think that would be a really
good apology except for the part we

didn't say sorry at all well i'm not
good at apologizing okay but i shouldn't

have said what i said and i feel bad
about it oh my god can you stop Popping

out of places like that girlfriend ring.

I accept your apology, Vishana. Look, is
what I do silly?

Sometimes. Have guys offered to buy my
socks after a 36 -hour shift? All the

time. Ew.

Thankfully, I haven't had to go there,
but the money I've made from brand

partnerships has helped me pay off every
single medical school loan. You've got

no loans? Mm -hmm.

Damn. Told you.

Sorry. That is inspirational.

Told you.

Yeah, J .D. does prioritize me. And I'm
sorry if our friendship got in between

you guys.

It's not even about the funding, Tark. I
mean, how many times have you and I

actually spoken since J .D. and I
separated?

Elliot, we speak a lot.

DMing me Star Wars memes does not count.

I get that people choose sides, but I
just never thought that you would

disappear.

I don't think I'm... I'm not choosing
sides.

I just don't know how to be anymore.

I don't know. I guess I just default to
ignoring it all.

I met you and JD at the exact same time
25 years ago. You remember?

Yeah. We were playing Pac -Man.

Look, I get that he's your best friend,
but you're my friend too.

Oh, heading to your big dinner? Yeah, it
should be fun.

Yes, professional fun.

Just don't do anything crazy like...
Sounds like you've had some fun nights.

Let's just say I wasn't always a saint.
I used to do a lot of...

Anyway, have a great night. Okay.

Oh, you're from England.

I'm going in the spring.

Any tips?

Cut down on your sodium. Your blood
pressure's reaching stroke levels.

You okay?

I'm just not sure this is what I signed
up for.

I think maybe you just need some sleep.

In a hospital, we experience loss every
day.

But one of the worst kinds is the loss
of hope.

I was in a free fall and I needed some
answers. I knew just who to turn to.

Hey, coming through.

Excuse me, I'm kind of in the middle of
something.

So are we. We're making space for the
new guy.

New guy?

And then it hit me.

If I was looking for answers, they'd
have to come from me.

It was all on my shoulders now.

Hello? Dr. Tarsus?

This is Dr. Tarsus.

Hey, I need a favor.

Let me see your phone.

If they'll make it weird, I'll change my
number.

Thank you.

Hey.

Three months of samples for Stanley.

I called a bunch of concierge doctors
and had to promise clinic hours and some

guest lectures.

Thank you.

Look, I'll do my best to get an actual
doctor on the phone at Stanley's

insurance, but I need you to know we
can't do this for everyone.

You're going to meet a whole lot of
Stanleys in your career with bills they

can't pay and treatments they can't
afford.

And if you let every single one of them
break your heart, you're going to have a

very short career.

Look at me.

We do the most good we can in a single
shift. And then as hard as it is, we go

home.

That is a job.

Now, I'll go get on the phone. You'll
get some rest.

Every doctor wants their hero moment.

You're welcome.

But it's not always like it is in a
James Bond movie.

Our hero moment can be mind -numbingly
tedious.

And any action involves a lot of
holding.

And holding.

And holding.

And sometimes you hold so long, the
villain even eats your cake.

But when this work makes you fall apart,
someone

is there to patch you up.

At the end of the day, we do whatever it
takes to help people.

Representative!

Buddy, your welcome dinner was off the
chain.

I said some really nice things about
you, and I bought you cake.

Thank you.

I'm going to be here late. You want to
hang with me? I don't, but I will.

Brace the coat.

Two cheese.

Oh, it's caramel, like Valentina. Oh,
yeah. Speaking of which, what did me and

my fake mistress get into?

Starts off on the tropical island of
Cuba.

Go on. The air is hot, but not as hot as
Valentina looks in her bikini. I'll bet

it's the thong kind. Oh, it is.

Her twin saunters are hot. Thank you for
holding.

Oh, now you pick up?