All language subtitles for How.to.with.John.Wilson.S03E06.AMZN.WEB.h264-EDITH.en[sdh]

(gentle music playing)

John Wilson:
Hey, New York.

One of the nicest things
about living in a city

is walking to the store
to get something you need.

You find the thing you want,

pay for it, uh,

and take it straight home
in your hand,

usually, uh, without incident.

-(horn honks)
-John: Sorry. Sorry!

This should be
the way you get

almost everything
in a big city,

but there's something
that feels special

-about ordering things
off the internet.
-(electronic music playing)

You enter the search terms
for what you want

and you're rewarded with
a bunch of different options

to choose from.

You can spend all afternoon

searching for
that perfect object.

Sometimes,
it's practical stuff.

Other times,
it's for business.

Or could just be for fun.

They also recommend
other stuff you might like,

and you can end up
learning things

about your
subconscious desires

while you surf.

And when you finally find
what you're looking for,

it's only a click away.

And this sets in motion

a, a, a complex series
of interactions

-that you never have to see.
-(mouse clicks)

John:
You like checking your computer

and looking at the progress.

And while you're waiting,

time seems to take on
a different quality.

♪ ♪

Even the most mundane
activity becomes exciting

because your
meaningless existence

has now been given shape,

knowing that your delivery day
will arrive at one point soon.

(exciting music playing)

Oh, wow. This thing is huge.

And when you get it inside
and open it up,

for a brief moment,
you feel complete.

As if you finally
have everything you need.

(choir vocalizing)

-Jesus.
-(wallet snaps)

John:
But, once you put it next
to everything else you own,

the object quickly
loses that power.

(choir humming solemnly)

John:
And you're still not sure
what's missing.

So you get back
on the computer

and begin
the whole process again.

(solemn humming continues)

John:
You've started ordering
ceramic figurines

of, uh, ET recently,

and you wanted
to, uh, expand your collection.

You found an interesting
poster that, uh,

seems like it might
look nice behind them,

so you placed an order
and waited for it to arrive.

You got a notification
saying it had been delivered,

but when you got home,
it just wasn't there.

(melancholy music playing)

And it didn't show up
the next day either.

♪ ♪

So, you go over to
the, uh, shipping center

in Maspeth,

but they didn't really know

anything about it.

(John speaking)

Attendant:
No, no, no, no, no.

-John: Okay.
-Attendant: Yeah, buddy.

John:
Thank you.

So, you go to someone else

that might be
a bit more helpful.

Well, it shows that
there's a lot of negativity

surrounding this situation
and, as you can see here,

-you have the death card.
-John: What is...?

Wait, you really
pulled the death card

-when you, you started to think
about the package?
-Psychic: Yeah.

And you have, uh, the devil,
which represents evil.

-John: Wait, r-really?
-Psychic: It means that
whatever was in

-the contents of the package
was very negative.
-John: Okay.

The person that you
are destined to be with

is very much ready for a...

I'm gonna say...

-a commitment.
-John: Mm.

And it says that
you have commitment issues.

John:
Oh, wow.

Psychic:
I'm not gonna say
that you're a loner,

but it's kind of like you have
some commitment issues.

-John: Yeah...
-The cards actually show you
have a lot of commitment issues.

-John: O... (laughs) Okay.
-(psychic scoffs)

John:
You also saw that
the eBay seller,

uh, lived within driving
distance of you,

and when you, when you went
to meet up with him,

he told you that
it might have been stolen

because of
how valuable it was.

The Michael Jackson
memorabilia market

is hotter than ever,

um, whether it's eBay
or Facebook groups.

You know, the shoes,
it looks just, you know,

like he's doing
his little dance moves.

-John: Wow.
-Seller: Oops!

John:
What is a 3D screamer?

Seller:
So, these are actually, these
are actually extremely rare.

-I forgot to mention these.
These are actually very rare.
-(knocking)

Is that someone knocking?

-Oh, um, oh, I just got some...
-John: Oh...

-It...
-John: Oh, that just
came right now?

Just came in. J-Just delivered,
hot off the press.

John:
Oh, is that why
the doorbell rang?

Yes, that was the doorbell.
(giggles)

John:
Losing something important
to you

is one of the worst feelings
you can have.

Because even if you know
it's, it's gone forever,

you'll never really
stop looking for it.

♪ ♪

But, if you know how to keep

a close eye on
your, your shipment,

you may never lose track
of it ever again.

So, instead of wondering
where all your stuff went

or feeling like your package
is never gonna come,

stick with me
and I'll show you how
to finally figure out

the right way to just

keep track
of all your packages.

Now, when you're growing up,
the first package you order

is usually a package of pizza,

which reliably makes it
into your home,

uh, without incident.

And there has to be a reason
it, it works so well.

Has a pizza ever been stolen
during its, uh, delivery?

Um... Not through...

Not when my guys
are delivering it.

You gotta know how to dispatch.

Owner:
This is what we call
a round robin.

Pizza Employee:
Bleecker, Central,
and Covert right now.

Want the driver to get back
as fast as possible.

We want the food to get there
as fast as possible.

And hot.

-John: Can I tag along?
-No problem, man.

So now, I'm gonna have
to go back to the fridge

and grab some sodas.

(pizza employee speaking)

(delivery driver speaking)

This is our biggest enemy
right here.

John:
Oh, shit. You got a ticket.

Delivery Driver:
Yeah, a little
Joe and John's road trip.

♪ ♪

So all they ordered
was a small pie.

I'm just gonna bring it in,
collect the money,

-and then we're on our way
to the next one.
-John: Oh, okay.

-How are you, sir?
It's gonna be $11.
-John: Hey...

♪ ♪

-(doorbell dinging)
-John: We're making a...

Delivery Driver:
Thank you so much, man.

And we're back on to
the next one. That easy.
-John: Alright. That was...

-That was really quick.
-Yeah, nice and simple.

John:
It seems like
handing a package

directly to the recipient

is the most foolproof way
to deliver anything.

You guys having a party?

-Huh?
-John: You guys having a party?

-Yeah, I have some
friends over. (laughs)
-John: Okay, cool.

-(dog barking)
-John: Have fun.

I try to keep my guard up
at all times,

but it's a pretty calm
neighborhood, you know?

It's nice to see people
interacting with one another.

John:
Yeah...

(bag crinkling)

Alright, and, uh, it's just
right in here.

-Resident: (indistinct)
-How are you, man?

-Thank you.
-John: Hey, you got a second?

Delivery Driver:
Appreciate it.

John:
So, y-you order from
Joe and John's a lot?

Every so often.

-At least once a month
type of thing.
-John: Oh, cool.

(resident speaking)

John:
Oh, yeah?

Is it, is it stressful
with a newborn?

Yeah. She was
born prematurely,

-so we don't have time to cook.
-John: Oh, I'm sorry.

Uh, on our way back home,

we always talk to
each other like,

"What are we gonna eat today?"

And we decided to go
with Joe and John's.

This is her, her section
of the fridge.

-We've always got bags
and bags of milk.
-John: Oh, okay.

-That's all the breast milk.
-And bottles of milk.

I grew up without
a father figure

in my life
throughout my whole life.

So, I've always been scared
to have a child.

So, I have no reference

on what is a good dad
or a bad dad.

But, I'm here now,
and I'm acknowledging that

you know, it is what it is,

and I just have to
be there for her,

provide for her,
and just my life is for her now.

John:
I think all that, all that
energy you put out

-comes back to you
in a good way, you know?
-Definitely.

Especially with cooking.
And I feel like, again,

going back to Joe and John's,

I feel like that's with
their input as well.

The ingredients and everything
is just always,

always done the way it was done
the first time you tried it.

-John: Yeah, well...
-I feel like consistency is key,

definitely, when it comes
to food.

John:
In a perfect world,

every package would be treated
like a pizza.

But unfortunately,

that's still not the case.

Supposedly, there are
roughly 90,000 packages

that go missing
every single day

in New York City.

Whenever you get
a, a package delivered,

the mail person
may not have a way

of getting
into your building,

and a crucial link
in the delivery process
is broken.

At that point, the mail carrier
will make a judgment call

about where
the most discreet place is
for the package to go.

They usually put it
in the stairwell

so, uh, people can't see it
from the street,

or use some other exterior
feature to camouflage it.

People also install these
strange boxes for packages

that have the same technology,
uh, that campers use

to keep food away from bears.

But, if there isn't
a safe space,

New Yorkers will
post messages
to delivery people

on their doors to make sure

their packages
aren't left outside.

Other people
use security cameras

to try to dissuade thieves

by printing out photos
of the bandit to shame them.

But you feel like
if these signs actually worked,

you wouldn't see
as many of them as you do.

And if you keep your camera
on for long enough,

you might discover something
even more terrifying

than package theft.

Kevin:
My neighbors had some,
uh, flowers

stolen off of their porch,

so they asked me to
check my doorbell camera.

In the process,
I come across these two women

who, uh, take notice
of my open windows.

(indistinct chatter)

(Woman 1 speaking)

(Woman 2 speaking)

(Woman 1 speaking)

(Woman 2 speaking)

(Woman 1 speaking)

(Woman 2 speaking)

I was doing a lotta renovations.
I was kicking up a lotta dust.

(Woman 2 speaking)

Can't be dusting it every day.

(Woman 2 speaking)

-John: Uh, do you have photos
of the way it used to look like?
-Kevin: Yeah.

John: Okay, so that's...
Yeah, I could see.

Kevin:
They had a point.

John:
Were you in a relationship
when you did this?

Kevin:
(laughs) No, I wasn't.

You got to commit sometimes,

even if it's, uh,
the wrong decision.

John:
Yeah.

So this is where we have
our packages dragged in.

-So normally, there's, like,
a big pile of them right here.
-John: Uh-huh.

And then that's the camera
that we installed.

-You know.
-John: Oh, okay.

So, they're supposed to
leave them right there.

Resident: Oh! Here's
my keto cereal! (laughs)

John:
Oh, cool.

On more than one occasion,

I've walked into
the unlocked door

to find someone actively
stealing our packages,

which is always,
like, very nerve-wracking.

Um, and then, one time,

my super that we were paying
to bring our packages in

actually was stealing
our packages for quite a while.

He calls me "Whole Foods,"

because he says that
I look like a bitch

-who would shop
at Whole Foods.
-(both laugh)

-I need to get a knife.
-John: Okay.

Resident:
It does make me really nervous.

I don't know if this is
like a shareable story,

but I recently was
freezing my eggs,

and had to have, like,

very expensive medications
dropped off here.

-John: Uh-huh.
-Um, and it was, like,
absolutely terrifying.

Like, I sat outside
waiting for them

because I was so nervous

that they were gonna just
be taken and discarded.

-So, it doesn't seem like
they care, quite frankly.
-John: Wait.

So, where are they kept?
I guess...

Um. that's actually a
good question. I don't know.

I froze them
at a clinic in Hoboken,

and, I... they have...

I'm assuming they
have them somewhere,

-like a warehouse somewhere.
-John: Really?

(laughs) I don't know,
a warehouse somewhere.

I don't know where
they keep them,

which is maybe something
I should look into.

John:
It seems like
biological material

requires the most care
when shipping it.

It needs to be transported
very quickly

with almost no room for error.

You never really checked
that box on your license

to, uh, make
an anatomical gift,

but maybe if we studied
organ transport
a bit more closely,

we could have a better idea

of how to secure, uh,
other package deliveries.

So, you asked your team
to set up an interview

with an organ shipping
company.

Unfortunately, something
got lost in translation,

uh, but you decided to

go through with
the interview anyway.

So, who are you... Uh...

Like, what are some of the...

Like, can it be dangerous
to ship an organ?

Well,

we haven't had any problems
with our shippers at all.

John:
Was this organ, uh, donated?

No. No.

(playing lively tune)

And they used to call me...
They call me "Vince the Prince."

-John: Oh, yeah?
-Yeah, that's my nickname.

-John: Oh, cool.
-Hang on one second.

Say, "Hey, I heard they call
you Vince the Prince.

-Where did that come from?"
-John: Okay.

-Or you could say, I...
-(organ motor whirring)

-John: So, why do they call
you Vince the Prince?
-Stop.

-Not ready to answer yet.
-John: Oh, okay.

I heard your nickname
in the music industry

is Vince the Prince?
Why do they call you that?

I guess, you know,
it, it rhymes.

Vince the Prince,
and, uh, it's...

-it's been with me
for over 20 years.
-John: Okay.

(John speaking)

Vince:
Yeah.

John:
The first thing you do
to ship an organ

is, uh, just make sure that
everything's on tight.

(clears throat) And then,

you carefully assemble
a shipping crate around it.

Does it... Can you play it?

-I really don't play.
-John: Oh, really?

-Are you a "Star Trek" fan?
-Bill: Kinda, yes.

I mean,
going to other planets...

in other, uh, solar systems,
that's...

that's quite a task to do.

I do hope to see the day w-when
they land people on Mars.

-John: Mm.
-I hope to see that
before I leave this earth.

John:
Yeah, that would be cool.
Me, too.

(mellow music playing)

And then,
they load it carefully
into a, a box truck.

(lift motor whirring)

John:
And make sure it's secure

for its long drive
to Arizona.

John:
Then you spend
the next three days

driving across the country,

where you might see
some other people,

uh, shipping organs
in their own way.

On the organ trail.

Driving the organ trail.

When it finally gets there,

they unload it in front
of the, the organ store

and, uh,
and roll it inside.

(crate rattling)

-And put it up
against the back wall.
-John: Okay.

-It'll be the safest
that, that way.
-John: Okay.

I, I still don't understand
the concept of the film.

-John: It's kind of like...
-Is it, is it just...

-weird, weird organ stuff
or is it...
-John: No. It's...

It's not really about organs.

And after
you're done with that,

you can go over
to Organ Stop Pizza,

which actually has
one of the biggest organs

in-in the whole country.

Wow.

-Have you been here before?
-Oh, yeah.

-John: Yeah? You like it?
-Yeah.

John:
I came from New York.

Customer:
Oh, I'm from Lake Erie.

-John: What brought you here?
-A woman.

-John: Oh, her?
-No.

-John: Oh.
-A different one.

-John: Oh, okay.
-But I ended up marrying her.

(laughs)

John:
Are you, are you
an organ donor at all?

-No.
-John: Alright.

Are you an organ donor at all?

Am I an organ donor? No.

Well, you see, I...

I, I'm with Alcor.
You know what that is?

-John: No, I'm not from here.
-You don't... Oh, you don't know
anything about that.

John:
Well, w-what is Alcor?

(laughs)

What is Alcor? Well,

it's a company that...

that people
make arrangements with
who want to do this.

They wanna get their,

their remains put in
liquid nitrogen after death,

after legal death, okay?

Because they're, they're
keeping them that way

in hopes that someday,
they will find some technology

that can revive them.

-Okay?
-John: (laughs) So, like...

Wow. So...

-(elaborate organ playing)
-John: Well, here, maybe we can

sit down for a second here.

Would...
Do you wanna...?

(loud, lively organ playing)

John:
Oh, my goodness.

So, where is
Alcor's headquarters?

It's in Scottsdale.

It's near the airport
in Scottsdale.

(organ continues playing)

John:
You'd heard about people
freezing themselves

in, in movies
and stuff before,

but you never met anyone who,

who was actually
signed up for it.

(organ continues loudly)

John:
Do you wanna go
somewhere quieter?

-So, is this like...
-Mike: It's a medic
alert bracelet.

"Do CPR while cooling with ice.

No embalming. No autopsy."
That's what it says.

John:
A-And medics know what to do
when they see this?

Mike:
I hope they would.

John:
You really wanted
some more details,

so after some
tense negotiation,

he agreed to let you
come back to his house.

You want to go to my house?
Is that what you're saying?

-John: Yeah. Is that okay?
-That's okay.

(gentle music playing)

-I like this skylight.
-Mike: Yeah.

-(light clicks)
-Lots of books and tapes.

-John: Oh, my God.
What are all these tapes?
-Mike: Well,

-something I never deal with.
-John: Wow.

So, do you, like,
do you work for Alcor?

I, uh, monitor the...

the dewars that hold
the, the people that are frozen.

Every day, I check on those,

and, uh, I make sure that
there's liquid nitrogen.

John:
Do you, like, do you freeze the
whole body or just the brain?

It depends on the type of
arrangement you have with Alcor.

You can arrange it either way.

John:
W-What are the arrangements
that you have with Alcor?

I have head only.

John:
You... Oh, so only your head

-is going to be preserved?
-That's right.

John:
Ever see the movie "Vanilla Sky"
with, like, Tom Cruise and...

It's about cryopreservation.

Okay, is that the one
that has the matrix in it?

-John: No, I think
that's "The Matrix."
-Okay.

John:
He told you that
the 50th anniversary event

was happening soon,

but it wasn't gonna be
for another week.

So you had to kill
a few days in Scottsdale,

uh, until it began.

Crowd (singing):
♪ Sweet Caroline ♪

♪ Bah, bah, bah ♪

♪ Good times
never seemed so good ♪

(singing bowl singing)

-(tone fading out)
-John: And what, and what
do you do that for?

So we use these
for meditation

-or to balance out your chakras.
-John: Oh, okay, cool.

It was finally time for Alcor's
50th anniversary party...

♪ ♪

which was taking place
at a resort down the street

from their main headquarters.

And when you walked in,

it seemed like everything
was already in full swing.

This is a chicken potato
croquette

with a smoked tomato aioli.
Please enjoy.

(crowd chattering)

John:
There are a lot more people
there than you expected,

and you wanted to know
what motivated them to,

to get themselves frozen.

If you see the future
as something good,

-you wanna have, uh,
you wanna be there.
-John: Yeah.

-You're signed up?
-Member 1:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-He takes care of my dad.
-John: Oh, your dad's
already in?

-Yeah. Yep.
-John: Oh, really?

-Yep.
-John: Wow.

Of course, you would wanna
resurrect your parents

if they were dead, and you had
the ability to do that,

and that would go
all the way back

to the first humans. So...

But there are reasons
to resurrect any... somebody.

-It's not... You didn't have
any offspring at all.
-Yeah.

-Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
It's just... Yeah.
-It's like...

-You wanna resurrect everybody.
-It's the Good Samaritan...

-Yeah, the Good Samaritan. Yep.
-Ar-argument.

Yeah. Exactly.

-Are you doing head
or body? Or both?
-Both.

-Me, too... Same.
-I want my body. (laughs)

I actually agree
with the philosophy of, uh,

"First one in, last one out."

John:
And what does that mean?

So, the last person
to get cryopreserved

will have the most
perfect cryopreservation,

so it's easiest to bring back
the last person

that got cryopreserved,
while the ones that were done

in the '60s and '70s
would have sustained more damage

during the cryopreservation
process.

John:
Do you have kids or are you
ever planning on having them?

Uh, they're two and four,
but my son is very much on board

with, uh, having us frozen
because, uh, my father died,

and he, he doesn't, uh,
he doesn't accept that,

and I don't accept
that either, so...

Even if you come back, something
could happen to your body,

and one body is not enough.

I think we need
alternative bodies...

switch bodies,
have a replacement body.

Um...

Very much
like a wardrobe of bodies.

Further, we won't be
just existing in this biosphere,

as lovely as it is.

We'll also be in cybersphere,

and, um, outer space.

So we'll need different bodies

functioning in
different environments.

John:
Are you looking to get in?

-Member 2:
Oh, he's not a cryonicist.
-John: Oh, okay, okay.

What, um, what brought you here
in-individually, I guess?

John:
Oh! (laughs) Okay.
Sorry. I didn't know.

Can I see the facility?

Um, when legal death
is declared,

we move the patient
from the hospital bed
into the ice bath.

(ice rattling)

Cover them with ice.
Uh, I think the record

from the time
when legal death was declared

to moving the patient,
putting ice on them,

starting circulation,
respiration,

giving the medications,
and driving them back to Alcor,

was done in about 35 minutes.

John:
Wow. It's like as fast
as getting a pizza delivered.

Yeah. Yeah.

So this whole unit is secure.

We have metal plates
in the walls,

uh, in case someone tries to
drive a vehicle into the wall
or something.

Who knows what
will happen over the years?

-(loud bang)
-We can't get in there.

In each one of these
Bigfoot dewars,

we can get
four whole-body patients

basically around the outside,

and then in the center column,
we can get five neuro patients.

And here, you can see
the containers

that neuro patients
are secured in.

-John: Those are heads?
-Max More: Yeah.

-John: Wow.
Can we go in at all?
-No. (chuckles)

John:
The Alcor facility
was buzzing with activity.

John:
They also had a wall
of notable members

who were currently
frozen there.

Alcor Employee 1:
She is the youngest
cryo patient.

John:
She's three?

Yeah, two or three.

John:
And they're also currently
in the process

of signing new people up.

Alcor Employee 2:
We need two witnesses
to sign these to show

that the person
who's becoming a member

gives their consent
and willingly knowing

that their body
is given to Alcor.

John:
Well, when did you sign up?

Alcor Employee 1:
I'm actually not
registered yet.

I'm, like so many people,
a cryo-crastinator.

I had actually learned
about cryonics when I was 12,

when Ted Williams,

the baseball player,
was suspended.

And, of course,
I'd seen Han Solo in carbonite.

But, until Ted Williams,
I don't think I knew

that cryonics
was a real practice.

John:
And in the afternoon,

they had a bunch of
different speakers lined up

to touch on different aspects

of the cryopreservation
process.

It seems like they've gotten
really good at freezing people,

but as you kept watching,
it became clear

that they didn't actually know
how to unfreeze anyone yet.

So, most of the presentations
were based on

really elaborate
hypothetical scenarios.

(on microphone) So, basically,
assuming cryonics works,

is it possible for you
to be revived and wealthy?

John:
The way you can pay
for cryopreservation

is by taking out
a life insurance policy

and, uh, making Alcor
the beneficiary,

uh, when you die.

Which, ostensibly,
will pay for your storage

and maintenance,
uh, indefinitely.

Hear me loud and clear.

You do not have to be rich
to do cryonics.

You do not have to be rich
to do a cryonics trust.

God, I got, personally,
11 policies

with over three million bucks
of life insurance.

A guy, this gentleman
over here was asking,
"Is that legal?"

I said, "Yeah, it is."

John:
And because they didn't know
how long it would take

for the science to evolve,

they couldn't predict
what sort of culture shock

they would experience.

The people,
your friends and family

that you are
comfortable with,

that you know and love,

are gone in the blink
of an eye.

If you all will look
to your right and your left

and the people in front of you
and behind you,

this is gonna be
your community.

And we're gonna need to rely
and lean on each other.

Yesterday, Max referenced
"The Matrix,"

in which Neo says,
"I know kung fu."

And that's what
I always think about

when, uh, I think
about rehabilitation,

rapid acquisition of knowledge,

and possibly rapidly
updating your, uh, psychology.

So maybe rehabilitation could
be much easier than we think.

Speaker (on microphone):
Was there a question there
or is that a...?

Alcor Employee 1:
Oh, it's just a comment.

John:
It's scary to think
how advanced technology

would become by, by the time
you were reanimated.

And even though they planned
to spend hundreds of years

in a refrigerator,
some people still didn't seem

fully prepared
for, for that either.

Okay. Alright.

I've had people complain
it's too warm.

Okay, but we have...

Yes.

Huh. Okay.

John:
The thought of life extension
sounded interesting,

but you still weren't sure
what you would do

with all that extra time.

Would the people of the future
have fun stuff for us to do?

Or would we just be
a burden to them?

All these people seem so
confident that they'd be able

to fill an eternity
with activities,

but you barely
have enough ideas

to keep yourself busy
as it is.

And maybe the cryonicists
have more productive ways

to pass the time
they have now.

So, you went up to
an Alcor member's hotel room,

uh, to check out a project
they've been working on.

Chad:
This is a "Bachelor"
spreadsheet, actually,

for season 22 that
I've been going through.

All the players, every play
that they made

during the, the season.

John:
Wow. How many hours do you think

you've spent watching
"The Bachelor" in total?

Oh, God. I mean, when we were
doing the hyper-binge,

it was 10 hours a day,
every day,

with maybe we'd take a day off
every other week,

uh, for, like, two and a half,
almost three months.

We've got thousands of pages
of, of typed notes

that are meticulous records of
everything that's ever happened

in almost every frame
of the show.

The first impression rose,
which we call the "FIMP,"

you take the numerical value
of each rose

they had over the course
of the season,

and you divide it,

and that average number
is their rose quotient.

Week five, we had a one-on-one
that Lauren Burnham got.

There was, uh, one kiss,
an awkward edit,

she played walls,

Arie played a PTC, that
his ex had a miscarriage.

-John: What, what's a P...
Uh, what's a PTC?
-Chad: Oh, sorry.

PTC is "personal tragedy card,"

is when a player discusses
some past trauma or tragedy,

and then that very usually
will get them a rose

if they're on a one-on date
or a group date.

Uh, IFI is
"injury, fear, or illness."

Tierra LiCausi is probably
the most well-known

IFI player of all time.
She fell down the stairs,

causing Sean Lowe to spend
an extra amount of time with her

instead of taking AshLee Frazier
on the date.

-At least momentarily.
-John: Think I remember that.

Chad:
Yeah, there's always
that idea of, like,

why am I devoting so much time
and effort toward this thing

that I actually think is bad,
you know?

♪ ♪

John:
Maybe it's dangerous to
have a lot of extra time

if you're not even sure
how to spend it now.

And maybe it would be better
to devote your time

to someone else's life

instead of worrying
about your own.

But, there's still
a part of you

that isn't really sure
about that either.

As the convention
was winding down,

they had a couple
final presentations

and sent everyone off
with a, a cover of

a popular Beatles song.

(singing)
♪ Last night I told my wife ♪

♪ When I'm dead ♪

(instrumental music of
"Please Please Me"
by The Beatles playing)

♪ Please bury me
except for my head ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Come on, come on ♪

-♪ Come on! Come on! ♪
-Audience: Come on!

♪ Please freeze me, oh yeah ♪

♪ And I'll freeze you ♪

♪ Oh yeah,
and I'll freeze you ♪

♪ Oh yeah,
and I'll freeze you ♪

-(song ends)
-(applause, cheering)

Performer (on microphone):
Alright! Thank you!

John:
After everything you
saw that weekend,

you still weren't sure
how to feel.

If you honestly
believed cryopreservation

was gonna work, then
it might genuinely make you

a happier person
while you're alive,

because you'll get
a second chance

to do everything over one day.

But, if the science never
really gets to that point,

then all your expectations

will just disappear,

and you'll have spent
your whole life

just preparing
for another one.

You're about to
head back to New York,

but you went back
to Mike's house before you left

because you still had

one or two things
on your mind.

Do you, do you think
it's selfish

-to, to not have children?
-Say that again?

John:
Like, to choose to
not start a family?

You could look at it
that way. I don't.

But I've been told
it's selfish to,

try to be a cryonicist,

-to want more life...
-John: Hm.

Like we want,
you know?

John:
I feel like some people's way
of life extension

is, is through children.

Well, I'm 75 years old,

and, you know,
I'm not gonna have a family.

But actually, I,
I was just never much oriented

toward that, really.

I just wanted to live
a, a celibate life,

and pretty much felt that way

ever since early adolescence,
and...

-Uh, you know, what can I say?
-John: So...

Like, what happened
in your adolescence?

(Mike laughs)

Alright.
Well, you could consider it

to be acts of self-surgery.

And, admittedly,
that was very peculiar.

But I felt like
I just wanted to be...

You know, the sex drive
was a bothersome thing.

It was a...
It was a real burden for me,

and I wanted to do something,

cut it down or whatever.

So, I found that after
self-castration

that really I still had
a lot of sexuality

that I didn't want,
and I thought,

well, if I could just cut
some nerves in the penis,

maybe that would relieve that.

And I tried doing that
and I'll have to say this,

that I don't know just exactly
what side effect that had,

but it was really
like a kick in the head.

It was much worse, really,
than the other thing.

From, uh,
from 1966 to '69,

those were the years
that I mainly did this thing.

-And, uh...
-John: You were removing
your testicles in secret?

Right.

John:
Why did you feel like you needed
to keep it a secret?

It just... People just think
that's crazy, you know?

They just do.

Just talk to anybody
on the street and say,

"Hey, I know a guy

"that cut off his own testicles
with a razor blade.

What do you think of that?"

"It's crazy!"

John:
Would you like to have
genitals on your body

-when you're reanimated?
-No, I wouldn't.

Actually, I wrote something
many years ago, saying,

"Don't put it on." (laughs)

"Don't, don't put those things
back on me, okay?"

-John: Hm.
-I think that's still
in my paperwork.

I'm an avid genealogist.

I've, I've researched
my ancestry,

and it's a weird feeling, 'cause
I think those people struggled

so hard to have a family,

and look at what I did.

What would they think
if they knew about me?

But, I, I think, well...

you know, I hope you...

I hope we... I... We can
get you guys back someday.

(gentle music playing)

John:
Your time in Arizona
had finally come to an end.

But, it's nice to know that if
you ever wanted to come back,

you could always stay
for a lot longer.

♪ ♪

When you got back
to New York,

you went to go visit
your parents' house,

and they had just received
an interesting piece of mail.

(clears throat)

It was a vacation postcard
from my aunt

who had died 20 years ago.

It must've gotten lost behind

one of the sorting
machines for decades.

And although the post office

didn't know if the recipients
would still be here,

they just decided
to send it anyway.

And even though
you know your aunt is gone,

it kinda made it feel like
she was still around.

So, even if you're not sure

when your trip is gonna end,

you're just gonna have to trust
that you're in good hands

along the way.

And hope that the children
of tomorrow

will still want you around.

(soft brass music playing)

So, maybe it's okay
if your package takes a while

to get where it's going,

because it's better than not
having any package at all.

And if you're lucky enough
to wake up in New York

in a few thousand years,

it's nice to know that
some things will never change.

Your neighbor
will always be too loud.

The bathroom
will always be closed.

You'll never be sure
who you can trust.

And New York will never know
when to stop growing.

(band crescendos)

Because,
at the end of the day,

the city is
a reflection of who we are,

and it will always be both
our healer and oppressor.

But, as long as
the first one in

is always the last one out,

you might just have
enough time here

-to, to learn a thing or two.
-(band stops)

(triumphant brass band resumes)

(band plays dramatic finish)

This is John Wilson.

Thank you so much
for watching my movies.

("Goodbye"
by Labi Siffre playing)

♪ Goodbye ♪

♪ Goodbye ♪

♪ Good... ♪

♪ Bye... ♪

(song fades out)