All language subtitles for How.to.with.John.Wilson.S03E05.AMZN.WEB.h264-EDITH.en[sdh]

(quirky music playing)

John Wilson:
Hey, New York.

If you're like me, you spend
a lot of time indoors.

Most of your favorite things
can be found

within the four walls
of your apartment.

And some days,
you forget to leave at all.

This is why it's important
to force yourself outside

every once in a while to
get reacquainted with nature.

But, when you finally
get out there,

(clears throat)

you may not know what to do
or how to enjoy yourself.

Most of the time, your eyes
are focused on the ground,

uh, whenever you walk around.

But, once you start to look up,

there's a whole other world
you didn't know about.

There's danger,

scandal,

and suspense.

Onlooker 1:
No, no, no, no, no.

-(car horn honks)
-No...

-(crowd gasps)
-Oh, my God!

(applause, cheering)

John: But most of the time
when people are looking up,

they seem to be
fixated on birds.

You never really
cared about birds.

You're not even sure
what they do.

But, there must be
something magic about them

for so many people
to devote so much time
to looking at them.

So, instead of spending
another afternoon

staring into space,

or feeling cooped up inside,

stick with me
and I'll show you

how to escape
your old routine

and start, uh,
just watching birds.

First thing
you're gonna wanna do

is get a little guide
that h-has all the birds in it

so you know
what you're looking at.

This looks like a cardinal.

That might be a hawk.

And that's a pigeon.

But most birds
are very far away

and you can't really
see them very well.

Seems like birders have
a lot of gear they use

to see better with.

So, go to a store that
specializes in stuff like this

to pick something up
for yourself.

What kind of stuff
do you got here

for, for long-range
surveillance?

You got binoculars.
If you're into hunting.

Deer hunting, bear.

-John: Okay, yeah.
Maybe some birds, too.
-Clerk: Birds also.

We also have GPS trackers

-uh, if you like to track
your-your spouse.
-John: Oh, okay.

You can track your employee.

John:
Can you track animals
with this?

Clerk:
Uh, no, that would be
a different type of, uh, GPS.

John:
Who are your biggest customers?

Well, my biggest customers
are mostly women.

Women sometimes are smart,

and they know how to lie

and do things
more than, um, men.

Uh, men, I guess, sometimes
they're... easily get caught,

because, sometimes,
they get too involved
with the other person,

and they just forget about...
They just don't think straight.

I think a woman thinks
a little bit more,

uh, than getting caught
than a man.

John:
Do you ever go bird watching?

Bird watching. Mm...

You know, clients ask me
to do a type of work,

to, to do a surveillance,

that's kind of like
bird watching,
but really not.

It's really, uh, actually
watching people. (chuckles)

That's what I do.

-John: Yeah, me, too.
-Okay.

John:
So, now that you have your
new binoculars, or whatever,

you try to join
a bird watching group

to get a better idea
of where to look.

What's going on up there?

-Birder 1:
Well, those are parrots.
-John: Oh, wow.

(parrots squawking)

-Look, there goes
the Cooper's hawk.
-Birder 2: Yeah.

We do something on our walks
where we exaggerate and go,

"Wow! Look at that!"
And I don't know,

but, just when I said
that right now, I felt,

"Oh, wonder if
something's happening."

And that's one thing
we can do during bird walks

is if we don't happen
to see much,

just go ahead
and go "wow" anyway,

and train yourself to be amazed
at what's here right now.

John (flatly):
Wow.

Birder 1: Those are
the English house sparrows.

-John: I don't see it.
-Oh, look at there!

-Those are black-headed gulls.
-John: Where is it?

There's the Cooper's hawk again.

John:
I don't see it. You see it?

Yeah, yeah, I've got him.
That's why, why I'm not moving.

-John: Wow.
-Birder 2: Oh, my gosh!

Birder 1:
This is a merlin!

John:
A merlin? How can you tell?

They wrote everything down
that they saw,

but you're not sure what they
do with that information.

(birder speaking)

John: A life list?

John:
How do you know, like, uh,

like, if someone
is telling the truth
that they've seen a bird?

(birder speaking)

And, it's, it's
the honor system. Right.

-John: Really?
-Mm-hmm.

John:
It seems like the world
of birdwatchers

is a trustworthy community.

If you say that
you saw something,

other birders
will just believe you.

Yeah, I saw like a Blue Jay,
I think.

Well, this would be
the time of year to see 'em

-'cause they're
migrating through.
-(birds squawking)

John:
You like to be naturally
trusting of people

but as you kept talking
to other birders,

you met someone who
actually knew about a scandal

that violated the birders'
sacred code of ethics.

Swallowgate is a story
of a young,

up-and-coming, enthusiastic,

and well-liked birder,

who found the very first
violet-green swallow

in his state,

and he became a birding hero.

Other birders
were pretty suspicious

of some of his reports,

which led to a multi-month
investigation deep-dive

into his original
violet-green swallow report.

And it was found
to have been, uh, not legit.

John:
Did he think that no one
would just notice

or care to investigate?

I think so. I think he thought
he was too clever.

-John: Mm.
-Ultimately.

John:
You were troubled that

some people
lie about seeing birds,

but New York is filled
with dubious claims.

Businesses try
to make themselves

seem better than they are

by using clever language.

You can understand why
they would stretch the truth

to get a competitive edge,

but birding seems
like something

you only really
do for yourself,

and it's unclear why someone
would make something up

they saw in the sky.

In 1975, I was working

with a crew of
six other men in the forest.

We encountered
a large glowing object.

One of the men yelled out,
"It's a flying saucer!"

I mean, it was,
it was not some vague,

uh, glowing cloud
or something.

I was practically under it,
looking up at it, uh,

when I was knocked unconscious.

John:
And then what happened?

I woke up on board the craft

in a great deal of pain.

I saw these beings
standing over me

and I just flipped out
and lashed out at 'em

and, and fought,
fought 'em off.

John:
Why did people think
that you made this up?

Well, people were,
uh, very reluctant to believe

that such a thing
could happen.

And, uh, so, naturally,
the immediate, um...

thing was to assume
that there was...

Hell, they come up with any
sort of excuse they could

not to believe it, you know?

"These guys must be
hallucinating on drugs."

-But, seven people don't have
identical hallucinations.
-John: Hm.

So, they had taken
lie detector tests

from the state police
and passed.

John: Seems like even
if your story is farfetched,

taking a lie detector test
is solid proof

that you're telling the truth
about what you saw out there.

-UFO Witness: This is the total?
-John: How much do we owe you?

UFO Witness:
It's 1,500.

-John: Oh, okay. Um...
-So, this is 500 plus...

-20... 30...
-John: Okay. We have,
we have the rest in the car.

-I think I got, I think I got
the wrong envelope.
-40.

John: So, you go to
a polygraph specialist

to make sure your story
is convincing.

A polygraph is
a psychophysiological technique.

It's, uh, it's an aid
to an interrogation

or an investigative interview.

-Alright, just try to relax.
-John: Okay.

Specialist:
Test's about to begin.

Did you ever see a bald eagle?

-John: Yes.
-Mm. Passed that one.

Have you ever seen an egret?

John:
Yes.

-Telling the truth.
-John: Mm.

Did you ever see a raven?

John:
Yes.

-Okay. Passed that.
-John: Really?

Have you ever stolen anything
from a store?

John:
Yes.

Have you ever lied
to someone on your show?

-John: No.
-That's a lie.

Are you a competitive
human being?

-John: No.
-That's a lie.

Have you ever lied
about seeing something
that you didn't see?

-John: No.
-That's a lie.

John:
Do people drink a lot of
water when they're lying?

Yes. Uh,
the reason being is that, uh,

you often get a dry throat
when you, when you lie.

Did you ever betray
someone you love?

-No.
-John: That's a lie.

John:
Fuck.

Truth is most important thing,
always, man.

More, more important than
anything else is the truth.

It's the only way we can...

we can all work out things
in this world.

John:
Maybe you're not as honest
as you thought you were.

♪ ♪

Whenever you shoot stuff
for the show,

you take a lot of pride
in the fact that it's real,

and that people always believe
what they're seeing.

But, sometimes
when you go out,

you don't see
anything good at all

and your hunger for rare images
only grows stronger.

When you were making
the first season of the show,

someone showed you a video,

uh, that they took
of a bathroom

-overflowing with sewage.
This is the video.
-Onlooker: No! No! No!

-(splashing)
-(screaming)

John:
You were so jealous that
they had the good fortune

to witness it,

and you couldn't
bear the thought

that this image wasn't yours.

Then you remembered
that you needed to have

at least one day on a stage

in order to get
a tax credit for the show.

So you rented a studio
and had them rebuild

the whole bathroom
from scratch.

Then, you hired
pyrotechnics people

to create a volcanic
eruption of fake poo

to imitate the initial video

and made them all sign NDAs.

It eventually made it
into an episode later.

You thought that people would
be really excited about it,

but after it aired,
the only response

was people asking you if
it was actually real.

You kept telling them
that it was even though

you knew in your heart
that it was a fabrication.

(vacuum whirring)

John:
People also started to ask you
if you actually bought

the building from your landlord
in that, that one episode,

which was a ridiculous
question to you.

♪ ♪

And then when you went on
"Late Night,"

the host asked you
if something else
in your show was real,

which made you
feel like people

just don't trust you anymore.

Okay, the guy you meet
in the, in the supermarket.

-Yeah.
-Was he just in the supermarket?

-Yeah. I mean, he was
in the Stop & Shop.
-(Jimmy Kimmel laughs)

-And I had no idea about
the Mandela Effect Conference.
-(audience laughter)

John:
Maybe birding
is the wrong hobby

if everyone thinks
you're dishonest.

And even if you do see
a rare bird,

nobody will believe
what you saw anyway,

because they're all just
waiting for you to trip up

and make a mistake.

-Get outta here!
-(seagulls cawing)

John:
Hey!

Maybe the only place
you belong

is somewhere
with other people like you.

It could be that you're making
the wrong kind of movies,

and maybe it'll be good
to make a documentary

that's backed up with a lot
of historical evidence

that no one
can disagree with.

Supposedly, the theory is

that they used less than
high-quality rivets

-on the hull.
-John: Of what?

-The "Titanic."
-John: Okay.

So, so that when
it hit the iceberg,

it just had like
a zipper effect,

-and that's why it went down.
-John: Oh, okay.

Seems like people
are still really interested

in the "Titanic" these days.

So, you hired a camera crew
and found an expert

to get you started
on your new project.

-Sound Mixer: Sound speeds.
-John: Hold it there.

Assistant Camera:
Scene 71, take one.

(majestic music playing)

The "Titanic" was the most
opulent ship ever built,

and it was supposed
to be unsinkable.

Well, it turned out
that it wasn't unsinkable.

As a matter of fact,
on its maiden voyage,

it hit an iceberg,
and it went down

in two hours and 40 minutes.

-(music stops)
-John: Um...

-Okay, great.
-Well, the wealthiest person
on the ship

was John Jacob Astor.

John:
Okay. Wait, can you look
at that camera?

-(music resumes)
-First were pretty much
wealthy people.

-(music stops)
-Second class was kind of
a professional class.

John:
You could just... Wait,
can you look at that camera?

-(music resumes)
-There were, there were,
um, uh, uh, clergymen.

There were, uh, professors.

-Could we stop a minute?
-John: Oh, sure, sure.
Yeah, go ahead.

You want some water
or something?

-(car honks outside)
-(indistinct chatter)

The two sister ships

were the "Titanic"
and the "Olympic."

And this one that looks
very much like the "Titanic"

happens to be the "Olympic."

John:
Wait, sorry.
That's not the "Titanic"?

Expert:
No. This is the "Olympic".

But it was the "Titanic"
that went down.

John:
Wait, there are people that
think the "Titanic" didn't sink?

There was fake news
right from the beginning.

The theory that the "Titanic"
did not go down

because it was "unsinkable,"
that the ship that went down

was its sister ship,
the "Olympic."

But it, it...
that's what it is.

It is fake news,

and it had to do with people
collecting, um, insurance money.

-And by the way, they did
collect insurance money.
-John: Hm.

You were surprised that there
were conspiracy theories

about the "Titanic"
that you had never heard about.

And when you start to dig
into the archives,

it turned out there was
a $5 million insurance policy,

uh, that was paid out
after it crashed.

But it was hard to find
more information
about the "Olympic"

in the midst of all
the other news, uh, of the day.

Big news.

You go on the message boards

to see what
other people think,

but no one wanted
to engage with you.

♪ ♪

And at one point, you notice
that there was a white van

that was parked outside
of your apartment

that was there
for a few days.

You eventually found an obscure
book that talked in detail

about an "Olympic"
conspiracy theory.

It felt like you were
on to something.

So you contacted the author,
this guy named Bruce Beveridge.

He agreed to talk as long
as you drove to meet him

close to his home, uh,
all the way in Tennessee.

The switch theory goes that
the "Olympic" was involved

in a very serious accident,

and her keel was
permanently damaged

in September of 1911.

So the damaged ship was actually
brought out into the open ocean

as the "Titanic,"
and sunk on purpose.

The idea was to cash in
on an insurance policy

and to scuttle the ship.
Unfortunately,

-the plan went wrong.
-John: Mm.

Is there anything else
that's inaccurate

that people don't know about?

You know,
in the James Cameron
movie at the end,

you see Rose floating
on a piece of lounge panel,

and she's holding
onto Jack's hand,

and she's rescued by one boat,
you know,

that was commanded
by, by Officer Lowe.

I said,
you know that's fictitious

in the fact that there was
a 16-year-old girl

floating out there,
but the piece of wood floating

-with a passenger on it,
that was true.
-John: Hm.

That was factual, but it wasn't
a 16-year-old girl.

-It was a Chinese man.
-(dramatic sting)

John:
He also told you about

a life-size
replica of the "Titanic"

that also had a museum
inside of it,

and he absolutely insisted

that he drive you over there.
In your car.

Bruce Beveridge:
I'm now a maintenance man
which... at a, at a hotel.

And I do that by choice.

Because, being
an ex-police officer,

I should be doing security work

or being the head of a security
at some college somewhere.

John:
So, is this, like, based off
the "Olympic" or "Titanic"?

-Oh, no. This is "Titanic."
-John: Oh, okay.

But the difference, you know,
you can tell

because it's got
the enclosed A-deck promenade.

There was a time where I was
gonna move down here

because I was going
through a divorce,

and I got a hold of the own...
one of... the curator, Paul.

I said, "Paul, I'm thinking
about moving

to, uh, Sevierville
or Pigeon Forge."

I go, "If I come down here,
can I get a job at the museum?"

And he told me no. (laughs)

-They wouldn't hire me here.
I don't know.
-John: Oh, geez.

-How's it going?
-Good morning.

It's a reproduction
of the grand staircase.

You know,
they actually used oak.

-John: This is a very
romantic scene here.
-It is, from the movie.

John:
What does Anne Frank
got to do with this?

-Bruce: Nothing.
-John: Oh, okay.

There was damning evidence
everywhere you look.

But, all the employees
still seem to be in denial.

Have you heard about the theory
that, like, the "Olympic"

and the "Titanic" might
have been switched at one point?

As far as I know,

-there's no factual proof
to that conspiracy theory.
-John: Oh.

And after the tour,

you went down
to the souvenir shop.

I said, look at the money
that's being made

off of this,
off of a tragedy.

-John: Right. Yeah.
-Bruce: A lot of profit.
But, you know,

is, is it tasteless?

I know it's been 110 years.

John:
Right.

You went back to the hotel
after the museum to relax,

and when you
opened your laptop,

you got a cryptic email
from an anonymous sender

which made you feel like you
were still on to something.

The next morning,

Bruce said that he had
some more to show you.

So you spent
the afternoon with him.

-Bruce: Cher?
-John: No, that's Katy Perry.

-Bruce: Who is this?
-John: This is Tom Hanks.

(Bruce groans)

John:
Oh, Cameron Diaz.

-Bruce: She got a great ass.
-John: Yeah.

Bruce:
If what I saw on the Internet
was actually her ass.

John: Do you think
he did good in "Titanic"?

No. I think he's a lousy actor,
to be honest with you.

♪ ♪

John:
Whoa. No one's gonna
believe I saw this.

-(monkeys squeaking)
-(John laughs)

And right there.
There we go.

What are you chewing at?

-John: They picked your scabs?
-Bruce: Well, either they do it

or I do it. It doesn't matter.
I pick 'em, too.

John:
You're covered in blood.

Employee:
Welcome to the Salt
and Pepper Shaker Museum!

John:
Ooh, "beverage." Just like you.

Nah, spelled differently,
though, isn't it?

Oh, my God. There's Bozo.
God bless you.

John:
You want any, uh, salt
and pepper shakers, Bruce?

-Popeye.
-John: You want Popeye?

If there's a Popeye one in here,
I want Popeye.

Well, he was my favorite cartoon
since I was a kid,

but because
of the whole sailor thing.

I was a sergeant,
was a police sergeant.

John:
You ever see anything
you can't forget?

Uh-huh. I've seen a lot
of things I can't forget.

(quiet restaurant chatter)

Any kind of a death scene
is really kind of traumatic,

whether it be a suicide
or murder

or a little kid gets killed,
gets murdered. That's not good.

But it's... to see
the faces of the dead,

the dead faces,

and th-they'll never leave me.

I can remember
every one of 'em.

You know, I-I've seen people,

you know, that have
had heart attacks

on their toilet
in the summertime

and there, there's no
air conditioning in the house.

And you go in there
and it's been two weeks.

John:
Yeah.

Bruce:
That's not good.

John:
Um, I-I think we're good
for right now.

-Okay. Alright.
-John: Thank you.

-You're welcome.
-Thank you.

The smell...

The smell stays in your nose
for two, three, two weeks.

-Three weeks sometimes.
-John: Oh my...

Bruce:
Who's your favorite Beatle?

-John: Who's my
favorite Beatle?
-Bruce: Yeah.

John:
I like George.

What do you think?
What does that mean about me?

-It means you and I are alike.
-Oh, really?

Yeah.

John:
It seemed like you were really
starting to connect with him,

and you felt like
he would understand

if you told him
about that stuff

that you faked for the show.

But then,
when you were finishing up,

you checked your phone,
and you saw

you got another email
from the same address.

(mysterious music playing)

You didn't want Bruce to feel
like he was in danger,

so you asked him to just
drive you to the Best Western,

uh, to pretend
to take care of something.

I want my own building,
a large building,

hopefully my own hotel.
I want a big one.

I wanna be in charge of people
because that's what I do.

-John: Yeah.
-And then, I want to retire.

John:
Turn right.

-Bruce: Turn right, go this way?
Want me to park?
-John: Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Just park it now,
for, just for a second.

You could tell
he was getting suspicious,

but while you were waiting,

there was something
you finally wanted

to get off your chest.

Do you ever have a hard time
knowing what the truth is?

There's a lot of absolute truths
that you would hope

that everyone would agree on,
yeah.

The sky is blue. You know,

anybody who doesn't
agree with that,

you know, has got
some serious issues in the head.

John:
Is there a way to, like,
make something up,

and for it to,
like, not be a problem?

(phone ringing)

I don't, I don't understand
what you mean.

Hold on. I'm sorry.

(phone ringing)

-John: Who's that?
-My mother.

-John: Oh, okay.
You gotta get it?
-(answers phone)

-Hello?
-Mother (on phone): Hello?

-Yes.
-Mother: What are you doing?

I'm l... right in the middle
of being interviewed.

Mother:
Oh, okay. Well, I'll talk to
you later. Gimme a call.

Why don't you call Michelle?
Michelle's got her phone on.

-Mother: Okay.
-Alright. Yeah. Bye-bye.

John: (awkward laugh)
It's okay.

I, I don't... I don't know
what you mean by that.

John:
Well, it's like, uh...

you know, it's like
I made up, like, uh...

I think I...
I-I faked a shot

in one of my documentaries,
you know?

And I told someone
that it was real,

and I feel kind of guilty
about it, you know?

But, i-it... I... (stammers)

It feels like kind of
a victimless thing...

Yeah, well, sometimes, you know,
we gotta do stuff like that.

You know, I used to
be a police officer.

I know what that means.

John:
How do you mean?

Well, sometimes you gotta
fake some things,

because if you don't,

it could turn into a worse
situation than what you have.

-John: Yeah.
-(foreboding music playing)

See, this was the deal.

If you ever do anything
like that, this is the rule.

And I swear to God,
you need to follow it.

-Never tell anyone.
-John: Mm.

Because, I mean,
you told me about it.

But, I mean, I...
I'm not involved with your life.

I'll probably
never see you again.

-John: Uh-huh.
-So it won't have any effect.

But, you never know.
Because this is the thing.

There's only two people
can keep a secret...

-John: Uh-huh.
-As long as one of 'em is dead.

-(church bell tolls)
-John: Mm-hmm.

And that's a fact.

-I'm gonna smoke. You mind?
-John: No, no, no. Go ahead.

Stay, stay in here.
I'm gonna get out
for one second.

-I'm just gonna go check
something out in the motel.
-Okay.

John:
It seems like even if you do
tell someone the truth,

you may only be left
with one option

if you want your secret
to be safe.

You went up to the room that
the email told you about,

and the door
was slightly ajar.

You walk in,
but there doesn't seem to be

any signs of life anywhere.

It was really nice
getting to know Bruce,

but it seems like
it was finally time

for you to part ways.

You weren't looking forward
to the long drive

back to New York City,

but maybe what you
really need now

is just a little time to your...

-(explosion blasts)
-John: Ah!

Fuck!

(flames crackling)

(dramatic music playing)

(sirens wailing)

(fire truck idling)

Was there anybody
in the vehicle?

John:
Um, yeah. My, uh...

my friend Bruce.

Okay.
What's Bruce's last name?

-John: Beveridge.
-Beveridge.

(water hissing)

♪ ♪

(clicking)

(presses pedal)

(playing soft melody)

John:
There are times when
you may know the truth

but the world might not
be ready for it.

(piano music continues)

It may be painful
trying to keep it a secret...

(lever clicking)

John:
...but at the end of the day,
it'll all be worth it.

Oh...

Oh, God.

(water splashing)

John:
Oh, no...

Oh!

Because the world
needs its illusions.

And who are you to take
that away from them?

So the next time something
seems too good to be true...

just enjoy that
you live in a world

where something like that
is possible.

(piano melody ends)

This is John Wilson.
Thanks for watching.

(classical music playing)

♪ ♪

(music fades)