All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S05E11.WEB

You made out with Patience?

Puritans don't do
casual hookups.

She probably thinks
we're engaged now.

I believe that we
shouldst be together.

Yeah, but... different worlds.

Oh, but that can be remedied.
I have met your friends,

and you can meet my people.

-Where is this going?
-Trevor Lefkowitz,

allow me to introduce you
to The Others.

Oh, nice to meet you,
The Others.

Hey, I'm Bruce,
and this is Brother Richard,

my beautiful wife Sunrise

and her husband Male Number 28.

Sometimes people call me Ted.

So, is this like
some sort of cult?

Oh, we don't like that word.

It's not a cult, it's a family.

Great legs, by the way.

Oh, thanks. Died on leg day.

- Like to think
I retained some pump.
This is Trevor.

The Jewish fellow
I was telling you about.

Oh, we're a monotheistic
religion as well.

We worship Bruce.

Yeah, he's a guy

we met at a Cream concert,

and now he's our one true god.

The meteorite chose him.

Wait a minute. Meteorite?

Has anyone seen my glasses?

Oh, wait. Never mind.

Flower?

Bruce.

-You knoweth him?
-Yeah.

He was my cult leader.

Babe, check it out.

The GEK 3000,

the most powerful

street-legal
metal detector you can get.

-Okay, but why did you get this?
-It's for Bimini.

All those white sandy beaches
and drunk honeymooners,

I find two wedding rings,
the trip is paid for.

Oh, that's right.
You guys are leaving

for your big group trip
to Bimini today.

Were you just in the bathroom?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
New thing I'm doing.

- You know,
I was thinking about it...
Hey, babe.

It's got
an injection-molded grip.

Sorry, Pete's just explaining
why he still uses the bathroom.

- Yeah, I'll hold for that.
- Yeah, back when

I was alive, sure,
going to the bathroom

served a practical function,

but it was also just
a nice little break in the day.

So, you just...

-sitting in there?
-Yeah. You know,

why let the fact
that I can't metabolize food

or produce feces keep me
from enjoying a moment's peace?

Sam.

We got four new ghosts.

It's Bruce, and some old friends

-from my cult.
-Not a cult. A family.

So, this is the Living
who can see ghosts?

Yeah, and her husband.

He's just, uh, regular.

Sam, you won't believe it,
this thing can detect a coin

up to 12 feet deep.

Sorry, Jay,
there's a bunch of new ghosts.

One of whom is Flower's
old cult leader Bruce.

Tough day to debut

the metal detector.

But where they all come from?

Thor been on property
a thousand years.

Never see.

It was summer 1970.

Our community was being unfairly
targeted by the authorities,

so we needed to go into hiding,

and one of our members
knew about an old bunker.

A Cold War-era fallout shelter

where we'd be safe
and secure forever.

There was a carbon monoxide leak

and we all died
on the first night.

We chosen ones stayed behind,

but most of the family ascended
to the Great Asteroid Belt.

Oh, I believe you said
they went to Io,

Jupiter's third largest moon.

Right.

Richard.

- On it as usual.
- Wait.

You're saying there's a bunker
full of dead bodies

-on the property?
-Seriously?

Well, if they've been here
since the '70s,

this feels kind of like
an "after Bimini" situation

to deal with,
so I'm gonna go pack.

Bruce, I can't believe
you're back.

We have so much to catch up on.

I'm Thor, boyfriend of Flower.

Oh. Well,
nice to meet you, Thor.

You know, we have
a saying in the bunker.

Boyfriends come and go,

but family is forever.

-Actually, I believe
the saying...
-I swear to God, Richard.

I mean, peace and love,
Brother Richard.

So, what did you think
of my friends?

Oh, they seem great.

Oh, good.

Then with the formality
of introductions behind us,

our courtship can proceed
with the intention of marriage.

Wait, marriage?

There she is.

How youse doing?

Is this the man
I've been hearing so much about?

Cutie.

I'm sorry, who's this?

Oh, tis my truest friend
Barbara.

We met in the dirt.

Hey, Legs,
did you know your hoagie's out?

-Are you from Philadelphia?
-Does a Mummer take

a leak on Two Street?

South Philly girl,
born and raised.

Wow.

Ask if we want to go
to the beach for dessert.

Youse want to go down the shore
for some wooder ice?

Oh, my God.

You know,
I once went down to the shore.

Uh, beautiful place
to drown a witch.

You led the surrender
from Fort Ticonderoga?

I read about that
in high school, man.

That's far-out!

Well, any surrender
is the work of many hands,

but I did sort of
get the ball rolling

-on the whole "giving up" thing.
-Hey.

It takes great courage
to run away like that.

You might even be
family material.

Oh, great. Hope you don't like
sleeping with women.

- I don't.
- Hey, guys.

Oh, hey, Isaac.

I was just sitting here
when they came in.

Now we're hanging out.

They think I'm cool.

Flower,

I can't believe our heavenly
souls have been reunited,

but in fact, it is just
as the meteorite predicted.

All hail the meteorite,
the source of all wisdom.

- Yeah, um, a-about that.
- Hmm.

When I was alive, you said
that the meteorite predicted

the world would end
on February 13, 2025.

-Exactly.
-But that day came and went

and the world didn't end.

Right, well,
the thing about that is...

when I received the math
from the meteorite,

I forgot to carry the one.

So, you're saying
that the meteorite

didn't give you a date
that the world would end,

it gave you an equation?

That's right.

Makes sense to me.

Math is hard.

Yeah.

You ready, babe?
Garrett and Libby

are picking us up
for the airport.

They're gonna be here
any minute.

Yep, I'm ready.

Are you still bringing
the metal detector?

Uh, that depends.
Do you want to be

the most popular people
on this group trip?

He's got a point.
Everybody wants

to talk to the guy
with the metal detector.

It's a great icebreaker.

Thor use axe to break ice.

I come with news.

Flower has rejoined the cult.

Oh, no.

This very bad.

And more news.

I also got in.

Great, they're almost here.
I'm gonna get the bags.

Uh, Jay, we might have
to meet them at the airport.

There's a bit
of a ghost situation.

Damn it.

You know, I got in
on the first try.

Bruce says not a lot of people
get in on the first try.

-This is awful.
-Yeah, Thor thought Flower

put all that cult stuff
behind her.

That car ride to the airport
with Garrett and Libby

was gonna be prime bonding time.

Oh, I see, he's upset about
something much more trivial.

It's about winning a group trip:
the car ride bonding

leads to the airport bonding,

and by the time we're in Bimini,
everyone else

is on the outside
looking in at us.

I'm sorry, Jay,
I'm just worried about Flower.

It's okay, we still have
the metal detector.

We still have
our ace in the hole.

Hello?
Is anyone worried about me?

Because I also,
as previously mentioned,

-got in.
-Congratulations, Isaac.

Flower make so much progress.

Many say is thanks to Thor.

Not for Thor to say.

But now,
Thor very worried for Flower.

Well, go talk to her, big guy.

If anyone can get through
to her, it's you.

Yeah.

Thor good speaking.

Ugh, she's perfect.

Instead of "sandwich,"
she says "hoagie."

Instead of "sprinkles,"
she says "jimmies."

-So, just break up with Patience
and get with Barbara.
-Oh.

Sweet innocent Sass.
If only it were that simple.

You can't dump someone
and then date their best friend.

Well, I mean,
over the course of one year,

I dated four brothers.

But the rules don't apply to me.
I'm Bertie.

I got it. I have to get Patience
to break up with me.

Then I'm not the bad guy.

The question is, how am I gonna

get Patience to break up
with this?

Mm. If only there was someone
on the property

who was an expert
on getting dumped.

Oh, come on.

That's a little bit hyperbolic.

Well, Joan never came back.

And of course, the car ghost
left you for roast beef.

Y-Yeah...

That was... tough. Okay.

Not that I'm the expert,

but if you want Patience
to break up with you,

just figure out all the things
that she likes about you

and then just try
to change those things.

Well, I can't do anything
about the chiseled jawline.

But she does seem
really into my work ethic.

Maybe there's something
I can do there.

Great. Sounds like a plan.

Thank you, Sass.

I stand on the shoulders
of dumped giants.

Glad I could help.

It's so nice to have you back

in the fold, Sister Flower.

And just to be clear, she did
not get in on her first try?

Which is fine.
I mean, not everybody does.

Flower, can Thor speak with you?

Oh. Hey, Thor.

Uh, I'm not sure
that now is a good time.

Actually, now is a perfect time.

Flower had something
she wanted to talk to you about.

Flower?

Um...

Flower, what he talking about?

Let's talk in private.

I'm afraid
you're not gonna like it.

Hmm.

What about him?
Did he get in on the first try?

What happening? Are you going
to break up with Thorfinn?

No, you big oaf.

I'm gonna destroy the cult
from the inside.

What you mean?

Seeing all of my old friends

still falling for Bruce's lies,

it's just,
it's too much for me to bear.

So, I'm gaining their trust,

and then I'm going to expose
Bruce for the fraud that he is.

Yes. Use deception
to destroy your enemy.

Is like time I tell Danish chief
I want to discuss treaty,

but instead, use axe to kill him
in front of entire family.

Uh, yeah, yeah.
Sort of the same thing.

-How can Thor help?
-You can't.

This is something
I have to do on my own.

Now scream like I just
broke up with you

and then storm out of here.

No!

I'm so sorry!

What troubleth thee?

Just wallowing in self-pity.

I got fired from my job.

Oh, dear.

Well, I am certain you
will soon find another firm

in need of a moneylender.

No, not interested.

Thinking about
getting into sloth.

Maybe become a layabout.

So...

if you want
to get off the T train,

I completely understand.

Oh, my beloved.

-Oh.
-Oh.

The T train is
a locomotive from which

I shall never disembark.

What? You're not
gonna break up with me?

At the first sign of trouble?

Heavens, no.

Loyalty is
the most divine of virtues.

But why would you
want to be loyal to me,

a lazy do-nothing?

Now, you listen here.

You are an ingenious
and resourceful man

with hearty quads
and a supple buttock.

You will find your way.

I believe in you, Trevor.

Really?

That's, uh...

that's one of the nicest things
anyone's ever said to me.

Thank you.

-Patience.
-Patience.

Bruce, why are we welcoming

Sister Flower
back into the family?

Yeah, I thought
you hated Flower.

Isn't she the reason we had

to go into hiding
in the first place?

Guys, guys, let's not

gang up on Bruce.

I'm sure he has his reasons.

Thank you, Richard.

I do have my reasons.

It's true, Flower betrayed us.

So... we will welcome her
into our warm embrace,

and then
we will take our revenge.

Applause.

Okay.

- Hey there, Trevor.
- What are you doing?

I wanted to see
how you're doing.

So...

how you doing?

Whoa.

I thought you were
Patience's friend.

She's all right. Little creepy.

Now are we doing this or what?

I, uh...

I don't know.

Come on,

I thought you liked
the way I talked.

-Wawa.
-Oh.

Schuylkill.

Cheesesteak wit wiz.

No, no. I can't do this.

What?

Barbara...

you may be a stone-cold ten,

and your dialect is pure,
uncut sex appeal.

But Patience is

loyal, and...

you're not. And...

oh, I think I'm into Patience.

Wow.

Well, you know what?
You're a friggin' loser.

A bigger friggin' loser than all
the Pirate fans put together.

Go Phils.

I just overheard
something crazy!

Those lunatics are trying

to make Flower
a little dirt weasel!

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Peter, slow down.

what are you saying?

I was going to the bathroom,

and I was just about
to pretend to flush

when I heard the cult
start talking about their plan

to lure Flower to the bunker
and push her into the dirt.

I can't believe this.

They're making secret
revenge plans without me?

Oh, there's
always another velvet rope

behind the velvet rope.

Pete is saying
that Bruce has an evil plan

to seek revenge on Flower.

- What did Flower do?
- Apparently,

after she left the cult,
she blabbed

to some undercover cop
at Woodstock

about their whereabouts,

and that's why
they had to go into hiding.

So they blame Flower
for their deaths.

So, Flower basically
kill 20 people.

That's pretty hot.

Flower told a cop

about the cult, which
caused them to go into hiding,

and now they're gonna
take her back to the bunker

and push her into the dirt.

Oh, no.

Although, if I recall,

the last time Flower
was in mortal danger,

the ghosts kind of
handled it on their own.

And I bet it was kind of
empowering for them.

We need to tell Flower!

To the TV room to stop them.

Yes, and to get to the bottom of

why they didn't
include me in their plotting,

-but mainly the stopping thing.
-Oh!

What did you do to Patience?

What are you talking about?

She said she walked in on you
hooking up with Barbara.

What? No. I rejected Barbara.

It almost killed me,
but I did it.

Well, whatever happened,
she seemed pretty upset.

She said she never wants
to talk to you again,

then she yelled her name three
times and ran into the dirt.

No!

They're gone.

Have you guys seen Flower
or the cult?

I think they went back
to the bunker.

What? All of them?

But how could they go
without Male Number 51?

-That's me.
-Oh, no, Jay,

they went back to the bunker.

Well, it's okay.

Patience can lead us there.

Yeah, unfortunately,
Patience is mad at Trevor,

so she went back into the dirt,

and it doesn't seem like
she's gonna be coming back

-anytime soon.
-Ah, a Puritan scorned.

If we don't get to bunker soon,

Flower will be
lost to us forever.

But we don't know where
the entrance to the bunker is.

And I don't know
how we're gonna find it.

That hasn't
been opened in 60 years.

It's probably completely
grown over with grass.

Huh. If only there was someone
with the right equipment

and the know-how
to find metal in the ground.

Oh, wait.

Boop, boop. Boop!

I think I found our guy.

How that work?

Jay, you know this means
we'll miss our flight to Bimini?

With great power
comes great responsibility.

Our invisible
hippie friend is in the ground

and we're gonna go get her

because my wife fell down
some stairs five years ago.

Ooh, cool bunker.

Flower?

We have some unfortunate news
we need to discuss with you.

You're not actually here

for a 60th anniversary
cult orgy.

-Oh.
-We've brought you here

to punish you for betraying us.

What?

We know that you ratted us out

to a cop at Woodstock.

I mean,
I did talk about you guys,

but I don't recall any cop.

And I was just saying
all the nice things,

about the orgies and the drugs

and how smart you were
with the tax evasion.

Oh, wait.

Now I see. Okay.

-Sister Flower...
-Hmm?

...for your betrayal,
you are hereby sentenced

to an eternity in the dirt.

Husbands, your ban

on touching women
is temporarily lifted.

Now push her through the wall.

No, no, no, no, no. Wait!

W-Wait!

- What is that?
- The GEK 3000

to the rescue!

Flower, we're here for you!

We made it in time.

Flower's here.

Back off, hippie scum.

Whoa, if we could
get cable down here,

this would be
a literal man cave.

So was everyone
told about the dirting?

I'm not saying I support it,

but as someone who famously

got into the cult
on the first try,

I would have loved to have
at least been looped in.

Flower,

let's get you out of here.

Wait, I can't leave yet.

I came here
to expose Bruce as a fraud

and free all of
my old friends from his grasp.

What's this broad talking about?

Bruce preys on your desire
for community and family.

But real families aren't bound
by manipulation and control.

Real families are bound
together by love.

She's crazy.

And anyone
who dares listen to her

will never again get a nibble

of my carrot.

These guys could have
left me here

to get pushed into the dirt,
but they didn't.

Would Bruce
do the same for any of you?

Oh!

I'm getting a new prophecy.

The meteorite says
a great betrayer

will return
to sow seeds of doubt.

Hold on, that could be Flower.

Interesting.
Good point, Richard.

Meteorite? What is he

talking about?
That is a hide-a-key.

You know, one of those
fake rock things

that you put a spare key
inside of.

We had one outside
for Jerry to--

Oh, damn it.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
This is from space.

If that's on his ghost person,
then the actual

hide-a-key, which would
prove that Bruce is a fraud,

is on his dead body.

- Oh, no.
- All our dead bodies

are in the other room,
through that door.

The bodies are
in that room, Jay.

Bruce died
wearing a little satchel,

so the hide-a-key
is probably inside that.

Ugh. Fine. I'm on it.

I should be sipping mai tais

-in the Delta lounge.
-This is ridiculous.

Why must the outside world
intrude on our affairs?

Oh, my God, Sam.
I'm gonna throw up.

Why are they afraid of our
happiness and secret knowledge?

Okay,

I got it, but I'm picking
the next 50 movies

for movie night.

"Made in Taiwan."

I believe Taiwan

is actually
the third moon of Saturn.

Can it, Bruce.

Ha. And a Volkswagen key.

Ooh. Yeah,
that's hard to defend.

Okay, well, sorry, folks.

Cult's over.

Honestly,
it's a bit of a weight off.

My name's Jason,

and, uh, I couldn't
get a girlfriend.

Jason to Bruce?
Feels a bit lateral.

You know we have
to dirt you now, right?

Ooh.

I'd rather you didn't.

So that's a no? Okay.

-No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!
-Well, my work here is done.

Nice seeing everyone.

So you found the deceased
and then waited a week

to get in touch with my office?

What's happening here?

Oh, Sam and Jay are trying
to explain to the coroner

why they went on vacation after

finding a pile of dead bodies.

- And how's that going?
- Marvin,

are you familiar

with the concept
of "Island Time"?

- Not well.
- Look, you guys are

my best customers
by a wide margin,

so I'm gonna
let it slide this time.

It's not great that you're
on these kind of terms

- with the coroner.
- So, uh,

how was Bimini?

It was good.
I mean, we had to take

a later flight
than everybody else,

so we missed the whole
first night. You know,

welcoming drinks
and the opening ceremony

for the scavenger hunt.

Yeah, there were
a lot of inside jokes

that we didn't get,
so we were kind of

playing catch-up the whole week.

Oh, yeah, that sounds tough.

Well, I'm gonna start
tagging the bodies.

Well, at least
you got to attend.

And it seems like
you may be on the short list

for Marvin's
Christmas party this year.