Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,854 --> 00:00:12,466
♪ The end of the
Civil War Was near ♪
2
00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:15,802
♪ When quite accidentally ♪
3
00:00:15,826 --> 00:00:18,088
♪ A hero who sneezed
Abruptly seized ♪
4
00:00:18,112 --> 00:00:21,096
♪ Retreat And
reversed it to victory ♪
5
00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:25,945
♪ His Medal of Honor
Pleased and thrilled ♪
6
00:00:25,969 --> 00:00:27,889
♪ His proud little
Family group ♪
7
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,401
♪ While pinning it on
Some blood was spilled ♪
8
00:00:31,425 --> 00:00:33,937
♪ And so it was
planned He'd command ♪
9
00:00:33,961 --> 00:00:35,438
♪ F Troop! ♪
10
00:00:35,462 --> 00:00:38,107
♪ Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights ♪
11
00:00:38,131 --> 00:00:40,443
♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪
12
00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:43,747
♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪
13
00:00:43,771 --> 00:00:46,416
♪ Both turn chicken ♪
14
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,451
♪ When drilling and
fighting Get them down ♪
15
00:00:48,475 --> 00:00:51,287
♪ They know their
morale Can't droop ♪
16
00:00:51,311 --> 00:00:53,990
♪ As long as they
all Relax in town ♪
17
00:00:54,014 --> 00:00:58,077
♪ Before they resume
With a bang and a boom ♪
18
00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:59,518
♪ F Troop! ♪
19
00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:52,281
Hey, Wilton. Where you headed?
20
00:01:52,305 --> 00:01:53,983
I was just headed
over to your store.
21
00:01:54,007 --> 00:01:55,185
I'm fresh out of saddle soap.
22
00:01:55,209 --> 00:01:56,419
Ain't that nice?
23
00:01:56,443 --> 00:01:58,121
Is it all right if you
leave the fort now?
24
00:01:58,145 --> 00:01:59,522
Oh, yes. This is
the rest period.
25
00:01:59,546 --> 00:02:01,657
I... I don't have
to be back till 3:00.
26
00:02:01,681 --> 00:02:03,693
What happens then?
The recreation period.
27
00:02:03,717 --> 00:02:06,429
I'm very strict about
sticking to the schedule.
28
00:02:06,453 --> 00:02:07,797
That's good.
29
00:02:07,821 --> 00:02:10,200
Then we'll have time to
walk over to Courtin' Rock.
30
00:02:10,224 --> 00:02:12,936
It's nice and peaceful
and quiet out there.
31
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,771
Oh, it's peaceful
and quiet right here.
32
00:02:14,795 --> 00:02:16,439
That's why I like it here.
33
00:02:16,463 --> 00:02:20,443
It's... It's not wild and noisy
like back home in Philadelphia.
34
00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:22,178
Bartender! Beer!
35
00:02:22,202 --> 00:02:24,180
Comin' right up.
36
00:02:24,204 --> 00:02:27,172
What does O'Rourke mean,
I got sticky fingers? Uh...
37
00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:30,453
I never stole a
cent in my life, boss.
38
00:02:30,477 --> 00:02:32,038
Hey! Don't call me "boss."
39
00:02:32,062 --> 00:02:33,940
We pay you 8 bucks a week.
40
00:02:33,964 --> 00:02:35,575
How much could a man spend?
41
00:02:35,599 --> 00:02:38,044
You saw my references.
42
00:02:38,068 --> 00:02:40,413
Everybody ever fired
me said I was honest.
43
00:02:40,437 --> 00:02:41,414
Beer!
44
00:02:41,438 --> 00:02:43,839
Sloppy, but honest.
45
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:47,554
Oh, Pete. Now look
what you've done.
46
00:02:47,578 --> 00:02:48,688
Butterfingers!
47
00:02:48,712 --> 00:02:50,590
I'm sorry... Keep
your hands off of me.
48
00:02:50,614 --> 00:02:52,792
Uh... Uh... The... Uh... The...
This one's on the house...
49
00:02:52,816 --> 00:02:53,926
Wait a minute.
50
00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:56,050
I'll give it to him.
51
00:03:00,073 --> 00:03:01,651
I ought to blast
the both of you.
52
00:03:01,675 --> 00:03:03,319
Oh... Oh, gee, I'm...
Gimme that cloth!
53
00:03:03,343 --> 00:03:05,192
I'm sorry, mister. I'm sorry,
54
00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,930
Sarge... he's in again.
55
00:03:20,143 --> 00:03:21,543
Nappy time.
56
00:03:30,621 --> 00:03:32,665
Are you all right, Charlie?
57
00:03:32,689 --> 00:03:34,767
Never felt better in my life.
58
00:03:34,791 --> 00:03:38,004
They got an awful lot to
learn about running a saloon.
59
00:03:38,028 --> 00:03:40,795
I'd like to see
them do that again.
60
00:03:44,935 --> 00:03:46,579
They did.
61
00:03:52,175 --> 00:03:53,553
Oh, he didn't look well.
62
00:03:53,577 --> 00:03:54,954
He ought to go
home and lie down.
63
00:03:54,978 --> 00:03:56,889
Fall down is more like it.
64
00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:58,991
Gettin' so this town
ain't a fittin' place
65
00:03:59,015 --> 00:04:00,715
to marry and raise children.
66
00:04:02,018 --> 00:04:04,096
When are you gonna do
something about that saloon?
67
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,733
Now, now, Janey, it's
not a cavalry problem.
68
00:04:06,757 --> 00:04:08,668
Well, it's a
territorial problem,
69
00:04:08,692 --> 00:04:11,259
and you're the military
governor of this here town.
70
00:04:15,432 --> 00:04:17,410
Well, that does it.
71
00:04:17,434 --> 00:04:19,211
I'm swearing off.
72
00:04:19,235 --> 00:04:21,469
Till this afternoon.
73
00:04:23,457 --> 00:04:26,169
Well, when are you gonna
do something about it?
74
00:04:26,193 --> 00:04:29,327
Janey... I'm going
in there right now.
75
00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:32,880
Oh!
76
00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:37,519
There's another one.
77
00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:42,067
You'd better go someplace
and sleep this off, mister.
78
00:04:42,091 --> 00:04:43,992
There. I'll get your hat.
79
00:04:48,598 --> 00:04:50,043
Captain, what are
you doing here?
80
00:04:50,067 --> 00:04:52,411
Well, I was going inside,
but I've seen enough.
81
00:04:52,435 --> 00:04:54,313
I'm going back to the
fort and write an order
82
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,548
closing this saloon.
83
00:04:55,572 --> 00:04:59,485
Sergeant... take
care of this drunk.
84
00:04:59,509 --> 00:05:01,654
Sarge! He's gonna
close the saloon.
85
00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:02,822
What'll we do?
86
00:05:02,846 --> 00:05:04,791
What we always do:
I'll think of something.
87
00:05:04,815 --> 00:05:05,892
Where is he?
88
00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:07,526
Where's that
sawed-off little runt?
89
00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:08,961
Ah, now, wait a minute.
90
00:05:08,985 --> 00:05:11,330
Who are you to call our
captain a sawed-off little runt?
91
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,732
Who do you think
you are, anyway?
92
00:05:12,756 --> 00:05:14,000
Urp!
93
00:05:14,024 --> 00:05:15,868
The captain was right.
He's got a snootful.
94
00:05:15,892 --> 00:05:17,269
Yeah. Urp. I'm Sam Urp.
95
00:05:17,293 --> 00:05:19,338
The fastest gun in the West.
96
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,774
You tell that two-bit
captain to start totin' a gun,
97
00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:25,178
'cause the next time we
meet, I'm gonna kill him.
98
00:05:25,202 --> 00:05:27,869
Now, get out of my way
'fore somebody gets hurt.
99
00:05:38,281 --> 00:05:40,292
Hey, Agarn, everything's
taken... care of...
100
00:05:40,316 --> 00:05:41,716
Oh, shoot...
101
00:05:44,521 --> 00:05:46,454
Here we go, little baby.
102
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,071
Huh?
103
00:05:52,095 --> 00:05:54,273
Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, he's still in there.
104
00:05:54,297 --> 00:05:55,808
Hey, Geronimo!
105
00:05:55,832 --> 00:05:56,909
Sarge. Hey.
106
00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:58,210
What a terrible night.
107
00:05:58,234 --> 00:05:59,211
How can a man sleep,
108
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:01,013
laying in bed, worrying
about our saloon?
109
00:06:01,037 --> 00:06:02,382
Yeah, what a team we are, Agarn.
110
00:06:02,406 --> 00:06:04,083
If it wasn't for you
doing the worrying,
111
00:06:04,107 --> 00:06:05,451
I'd never get anything done.
112
00:06:05,475 --> 00:06:06,553
What'd you do?
113
00:06:06,577 --> 00:06:08,187
I went to the saloon,
talked to Pete.
114
00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:09,689
Everything's fixed.
115
00:06:09,713 --> 00:06:10,823
What do you want me to do?
116
00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:12,491
Do what you do best: just worry.
117
00:06:12,515 --> 00:06:14,126
You bet I'm worried.
118
00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:16,146
If he closes our saloon,
we're out of business.
119
00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:17,847
The captain ain't
gonna close nothing.
120
00:06:17,871 --> 00:06:19,048
Now, get into your duds.
121
00:06:19,072 --> 00:06:21,417
Dobbs, I've given
it a lot of thought,
122
00:06:21,441 --> 00:06:23,102
and I've got to
close that saloon.
123
00:06:23,126 --> 00:06:25,137
You're absolutely
right, captain.
124
00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:27,640
You no idea of the
wild goin's-on in there.
125
00:06:27,664 --> 00:06:29,442
Why... Why, I
went in that saloon
126
00:06:29,466 --> 00:06:30,910
one Saturday night, Uh, Dobbs...
127
00:06:30,934 --> 00:06:33,129
And this dancing girl I
never even been introduced to
128
00:06:33,153 --> 00:06:34,897
come up to me with a
deck of cards and says,
129
00:06:34,921 --> 00:06:36,398
"How about a little
game, soldier?"
130
00:06:36,422 --> 00:06:37,600
Dobbs... She took me for $8,
131
00:06:37,624 --> 00:06:38,868
and I never did know before
132
00:06:38,892 --> 00:06:41,704
that out West, the six of
clubs is the big casino...
133
00:06:41,728 --> 00:06:42,821
Dobbs!
134
00:06:42,845 --> 00:06:43,840
Something wrong, sir?
135
00:06:43,864 --> 00:06:45,196
Yes.
136
00:06:50,636 --> 00:06:52,014
Now, let's try it.
137
00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:53,938
I thought it was a
little crowded in there.
138
00:06:56,877 --> 00:06:58,343
There we go. That's...
139
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,224
Uh...
140
00:07:01,248 --> 00:07:03,192
Uh, you go ahead and
blow "Assembly," Dobbs.
141
00:07:03,216 --> 00:07:04,194
I'll be right out.
142
00:07:04,218 --> 00:07:05,195
"Assembly."
143
00:07:05,219 --> 00:07:10,303
That goes, uh...
Yeah, I know that one.
144
00:07:31,561 --> 00:07:33,439
That's enough.
145
00:07:33,463 --> 00:07:35,508
Aw, shucks. I wanted to
hear the second chorus.
146
00:07:35,532 --> 00:07:36,509
That's even purtier.
147
00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:38,132
I'm sure it is.
148
00:07:42,055 --> 00:07:45,055
Ten-hut!
149
00:07:46,159 --> 00:07:47,136
Oh.
150
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,604
Troop ready for inspection, sir.
151
00:07:48,628 --> 00:07:50,028
Thank you, sergeant.
152
00:08:06,662 --> 00:08:08,140
There, that's better.
153
00:08:08,164 --> 00:08:09,792
Oh, hello, captain.
154
00:08:09,816 --> 00:08:11,248
Hi.
155
00:08:28,451 --> 00:08:30,763
Uh, I'm... sorry
about that, Duffy.
156
00:08:30,787 --> 00:08:33,387
Don't worry,
captain. I'll fix it later.
157
00:08:38,494 --> 00:08:39,739
Sergeant.
158
00:08:39,763 --> 00:08:41,808
Uh, corporal, can't you
do something about that?
159
00:08:41,832 --> 00:08:42,975
Duttleson!
160
00:08:42,999 --> 00:08:44,577
You're in line,
but your belly ain't!
161
00:08:44,601 --> 00:08:46,034
Now, pull it in!
162
00:08:54,177 --> 00:08:55,417
Troop, at ease.
163
00:08:56,479 --> 00:08:58,357
Now, I have a little
announcement to make.
164
00:08:58,381 --> 00:09:00,993
Until further notice, the
saloon will be off-limits
165
00:09:01,017 --> 00:09:02,061
to all personnel.
166
00:09:03,386 --> 00:09:05,148
Quiet! Uh, sir?
167
00:09:05,172 --> 00:09:07,583
That dive is our only source
of innocent amusement.
168
00:09:07,607 --> 00:09:09,068
It's our home away from home.
169
00:09:09,092 --> 00:09:10,369
Some home.
170
00:09:10,393 --> 00:09:11,571
I passed by there yesterday
171
00:09:11,595 --> 00:09:14,075
and almost got hit
by a flying drunk.
172
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,244
All right, now, men.
173
00:09:18,268 --> 00:09:19,879
If the captain
wants to close that...
174
00:09:19,903 --> 00:09:21,680
uh... den of inequity,
175
00:09:21,704 --> 00:09:23,649
he's doing it for your own good.
176
00:09:23,673 --> 00:09:25,718
Captain, I think we ought
to get right over there
177
00:09:25,742 --> 00:09:26,753
and close it, now.
178
00:09:26,777 --> 00:09:29,217
Good thinking, sergeant.
179
00:09:29,346 --> 00:09:30,945
Oh, captain, sir.
180
00:09:36,169 --> 00:09:37,802
Dismissed.
181
00:09:45,912 --> 00:09:48,290
Here, here, boys. Stop that.
182
00:09:48,314 --> 00:09:49,758
Grab him. I... I said stop that.
183
00:09:49,782 --> 00:09:51,527
Now, this here's
the military governor,
184
00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:53,329
and he don't allow
no fighting around here
185
00:09:53,353 --> 00:09:54,630
because this is war territory.
186
00:09:54,654 --> 00:09:55,753
Sissy!
187
00:10:00,193 --> 00:10:03,027
Captain... they've
changed the sign.
188
00:10:04,698 --> 00:10:07,509
Whatever happened to the saloon?
189
00:10:07,533 --> 00:10:10,279
"Tinkerbell's Ice Cream Parlor"?
190
00:10:10,303 --> 00:10:12,682
They're just trying to pull
the wool over your eyes, sir.
191
00:10:12,706 --> 00:10:15,284
Oh, that Pete, he's
a crafty one, sir.
192
00:10:15,308 --> 00:10:17,953
Well, maybe he's really
trying to clean the place up.
193
00:10:17,977 --> 00:10:19,155
Let's go inside and see.
194
00:10:19,179 --> 00:10:20,339
Huh.
195
00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:36,421
Well.
196
00:10:36,445 --> 00:10:38,405
Yeah. Certainly
is a lot different.
197
00:10:50,426 --> 00:10:52,972
Oh, it's very nice. Homey.
198
00:10:52,996 --> 00:10:55,441
You know, I wouldn't be ashamed
to bring my mother in here.
199
00:10:55,465 --> 00:10:57,509
That's the kind of business
we need: his mother.
200
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:58,644
Yeah.
201
00:10:58,668 --> 00:11:01,380
A little sarsaparilla,
Captain Parmenter?
202
00:11:01,404 --> 00:11:03,049
Yeah, don't mind if I do.
203
00:11:03,073 --> 00:11:04,217
Yeah, make it three, Pete.
204
00:11:04,241 --> 00:11:06,185
Easy on mine.
I'm trying to quit.
205
00:11:07,810 --> 00:11:10,789
Well, if this don't
beat a busted tom-tom.
206
00:11:10,813 --> 00:11:12,925
Well, hello, Janey.
May I buy you a drink?
207
00:11:12,949 --> 00:11:13,926
Wilton.
208
00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:15,244
Oh, it's all right, Wrangler.
209
00:11:15,268 --> 00:11:17,379
This is vintage
stuff. Sarsaparilla.
210
00:11:17,403 --> 00:11:20,449
1776 was a great
year for sarsaparilla.
211
00:11:20,473 --> 00:11:21,951
Not now, thank you.
212
00:11:21,975 --> 00:11:24,186
Wilton, did you forget
that we had a date?
213
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:25,321
A date? I...
214
00:11:25,345 --> 00:11:28,023
Oh, my gun lesson.
I forgot all about it.
215
00:11:28,047 --> 00:11:30,660
I... Say, I'm
learning real fast too.
216
00:11:30,684 --> 00:11:32,328
Watch this. Either hand.
217
00:11:32,352 --> 00:11:33,701
Ha-ha-ha-ha...
218
00:11:35,739 --> 00:11:37,516
Good trick, captain.
219
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:39,857
Especially if the other
guy's fighting with beer mugs.
220
00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:45,274
Sorry about that. H... Here...
221
00:11:45,298 --> 00:11:47,610
It's all right, captain.
We'll take care of it.
222
00:11:47,634 --> 00:11:50,846
Come on, Wilton. I can't stay
away from the store all day.
223
00:11:50,870 --> 00:11:53,804
Uh... Excuse me, gentlemen. Mm.
224
00:12:00,313 --> 00:12:03,180
Don't tell me he got
that way on sarsaparilla.
225
00:12:04,401 --> 00:12:06,128
Sergeant, that
drunk's back again.
226
00:12:06,152 --> 00:12:08,352
We'll take care of him, sir.
227
00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:22,661
Did you ever think of coming
in through the window?
228
00:12:22,685 --> 00:12:24,396
Fastest gun in the West, huh?
229
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:26,498
You can't even outdraw
a swinging door, ha.
230
00:12:26,522 --> 00:12:28,967
Hey, Pete, get rid of this slop
and get us a couple of drinks.
231
00:12:28,991 --> 00:12:30,569
One of these days,
I'm gonna catch him
232
00:12:30,593 --> 00:12:32,003
away from them swinging doors.
233
00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:34,406
You tin soldiers'll be
looking for a new captain.
234
00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:35,741
Urp... Bless you.
235
00:12:35,765 --> 00:12:37,243
I'm gonna give you
a piece of advice
236
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:38,411
that might save your life.
237
00:12:38,435 --> 00:12:40,579
Don't tangle with
Wilton Parmenter.
238
00:12:40,603 --> 00:12:43,382
Winner of the Civil War
and Scourge of the West.
239
00:12:43,406 --> 00:12:44,617
Hogwash.
240
00:12:44,641 --> 00:12:47,152
You tell that sawed-off
sliver of buzzard bait
241
00:12:47,176 --> 00:12:49,154
there's room in the
West for just one Scourge,
242
00:12:49,178 --> 00:12:50,689
and that's me!
243
00:12:50,713 --> 00:12:52,257
If I was you, I'd
get out of this town.
244
00:12:52,281 --> 00:12:53,993
That sawed-off
sliver of buzzard bait
245
00:12:54,017 --> 00:12:56,295
was weaned on a shooting iron.
246
00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:58,759
Oh, I'm... scared to death.
247
00:13:04,093 --> 00:13:05,437
I'm going back to the fort.
248
00:13:05,461 --> 00:13:07,272
I can't stand the
sight of blood.
249
00:13:07,296 --> 00:13:08,273
Wait a minute.
250
00:13:08,297 --> 00:13:09,341
What blood?
251
00:13:09,365 --> 00:13:10,342
It could be mine.
252
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:11,944
Hey... You're not
going no place.
253
00:13:11,968 --> 00:13:14,046
Now, listen, we gotta do
something and do it fast,
254
00:13:14,070 --> 00:13:15,447
or Urp's gonna kill the captain.
255
00:13:15,471 --> 00:13:16,949
But how are we
gonna stop him, sarge?
256
00:13:16,973 --> 00:13:18,117
I got an idea.
257
00:13:18,141 --> 00:13:20,119
We'll put his shooting
hand out of commission.
258
00:13:20,143 --> 00:13:21,687
Great idea, sarge.
Take care of it.
259
00:13:21,711 --> 00:13:23,588
Uh, wait a minute.
I need your help.
260
00:13:23,612 --> 00:13:25,223
I can't do it alone. Do what?
261
00:13:25,247 --> 00:13:26,725
Well, he's gotta
have an accident,
262
00:13:26,749 --> 00:13:28,127
so he can't shoot nobody.
263
00:13:28,151 --> 00:13:30,517
Now, if something was
to mash his hand, like...
264
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,616
Well, like that
potted plant, see?
265
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,318
Well, how is that
gonna fall on his hand?
266
00:13:36,342 --> 00:13:37,353
He's way down there.
267
00:13:37,377 --> 00:13:38,587
That's where you come in.
268
00:13:38,611 --> 00:13:41,023
You move him down, get
his hand underneath that plant,
269
00:13:41,047 --> 00:13:42,791
I cut the rope.
270
00:13:42,815 --> 00:13:44,260
When we get
through with that guy,
271
00:13:44,284 --> 00:13:46,628
his hand'll look like a
five-fingered pancake.
272
00:13:46,652 --> 00:13:48,431
Now, go on, get to work.
273
00:13:51,808 --> 00:13:53,051
Oh, hello, Mr. Urp.
274
00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:54,942
You still here?
275
00:13:56,446 --> 00:13:59,291
Look, chum, it ain't
that crowded in here.
276
00:13:59,315 --> 00:14:01,360
You're a... You're
a sport, Mr. Urp.
277
00:14:01,384 --> 00:14:03,362
Say, did you ever hear the one
278
00:14:03,386 --> 00:14:05,497
about the two girls
in Kansas City?
279
00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:06,898
This is a lollapalooza.
280
00:14:06,922 --> 00:14:08,767
What about the two
girls from Kansas City?
281
00:14:08,791 --> 00:14:12,170
Well, come on down here
and I'll... tell you about it.
282
00:14:12,194 --> 00:14:14,040
Well, there was these
two sisters, you see,
283
00:14:14,064 --> 00:14:16,842
in Kansas City, you
see, and... Hey, Pete!
284
00:14:16,866 --> 00:14:18,043
How about a couple of drinks
285
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,144
for me and my friend, Urp?
286
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:21,179
What about the two
sisters in Kansas City?
287
00:14:21,203 --> 00:14:22,548
Well, now, there were these...
288
00:14:22,572 --> 00:14:24,499
These two, uh, sisters...
Where you going?
289
00:14:24,523 --> 00:14:26,686
Uh, I don't want Pete
to hear. He's too young.
290
00:14:26,710 --> 00:14:29,105
Well, anyway, there
were these two girls, see,
291
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:31,673
and they both fell in love with
the same traveling salesman...
292
00:14:31,697 --> 00:14:33,331
Here you are, gents.
293
00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:36,912
Well, go ahead, soldier.
Now, these two girls
294
00:14:36,936 --> 00:14:38,714
in love with the same
salesman, then what?
295
00:14:38,738 --> 00:14:42,050
Well... take a drink
and it'll be funnier.
296
00:14:42,074 --> 00:14:43,952
Oh, don't... Don't drink
with your left hand.
297
00:14:43,976 --> 00:14:45,087
It's bad luck.
298
00:14:45,111 --> 00:14:46,544
It is? Yeah.
299
00:14:55,221 --> 00:14:57,581
Ah, never mind the
story. That's funnier.
300
00:15:03,279 --> 00:15:04,923
Agarn, what's the
matter with you?
301
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,524
Can't you do anything right?
302
00:15:06,548 --> 00:15:07,993
Five-finger pancake...
303
00:15:08,017 --> 00:15:10,497
Well, don't just stand there.
Bring me the maple syrup.
304
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,017
Ooh, oh, oh!
305
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,255
Oh, you poor man.
306
00:15:19,279 --> 00:15:20,656
Now, you've mashed your hand,
307
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,491
and you can't go
gunning for the captain.
308
00:15:24,517 --> 00:15:26,094
You think so, huh?
309
00:15:26,118 --> 00:15:27,718
Well, I...
310
00:15:45,321 --> 00:15:46,553
Hey...
311
00:16:01,321 --> 00:16:02,998
No, Wilton, no.
312
00:16:03,022 --> 00:16:04,622
Watch me.
313
00:16:08,277 --> 00:16:09,955
Oh.
314
00:16:09,979 --> 00:16:11,712
Oh, more like this, huh?
315
00:16:20,323 --> 00:16:21,933
Well, you're getting
better, Wilton.
316
00:16:21,957 --> 00:16:24,102
That time you hit
the side of the barn.
317
00:16:24,126 --> 00:16:25,103
Same time tomorrow?
318
00:16:25,127 --> 00:16:26,371
Uh, that'll be fine, Janey.
319
00:16:26,395 --> 00:16:28,240
Then I'll be getting
back to the store, now.
320
00:16:28,264 --> 00:16:29,508
Bye-bye. Bye, Janey.
321
00:16:29,532 --> 00:16:31,876
Oh, uh, captain, would
you sign this, please, sir?
322
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,845
Oh, hello, men. Don't
sir! It ain't that bad!
323
00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,714
Oh, we'll take care
of the whole thing, sir.
324
00:16:35,738 --> 00:16:37,049
Just... Just sign right here.
325
00:16:37,073 --> 00:16:38,183
Oh, what is it?
326
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:39,885
I-it's an authorization
for F Troop
327
00:16:39,909 --> 00:16:41,453
to run Sam Urp out of town, sir.
328
00:16:41,477 --> 00:16:43,121
Oh... Sam Urp?
329
00:16:43,145 --> 00:16:44,440
Mm. You know, sir.
330
00:16:44,464 --> 00:16:46,642
That uncouth character
that hangs around the sal...
331
00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:49,228
Uh, Tinkerbell's
Ice Cream Parlor.
332
00:16:49,252 --> 00:16:51,029
Well, why do you want
to run him out of town?
333
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:53,432
Wouldn't it be better if we
just got him to stop drinking?
334
00:16:53,456 --> 00:16:55,434
Uh, captain, you can't
let a drunken desperado
335
00:16:55,458 --> 00:16:57,001
make a shambles
out of Fort Courage
336
00:16:57,025 --> 00:16:59,471
and endanger the existence
of this entire community.
337
00:16:59,495 --> 00:17:00,572
Here, ahem.
338
00:17:00,596 --> 00:17:02,474
No, no, no. Gentlemen...
Gentlemen, please.
339
00:17:02,498 --> 00:17:05,077
Now, it wouldn't be fair to turn
the whole troop loose on him.
340
00:17:05,101 --> 00:17:06,445
Now, if he doesn't stop drinking
341
00:17:06,469 --> 00:17:07,913
and he continues
to make trouble,
342
00:17:07,937 --> 00:17:09,582
I'll just have to ask
him to leave town.
343
00:17:09,606 --> 00:17:11,383
Yeah, but, captain...
No buts, sergeant.
344
00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:14,008
As military governor, it's a
matter I'll handle personally.
345
00:17:16,045 --> 00:17:17,110
Oh.
346
00:17:19,716 --> 00:17:20,759
Poor Captain Parmenter.
347
00:17:20,783 --> 00:17:22,460
And he had
everything to live for.
348
00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:23,696
Yeah.
349
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,463
We'll never find
another pigeon like him
350
00:17:25,487 --> 00:17:27,221
if we hatch one ourselves.
351
00:17:27,957 --> 00:17:29,201
I got it, Agarn.
352
00:17:29,225 --> 00:17:31,804
You stay here and guard Sam Urp.
353
00:17:31,828 --> 00:17:33,005
By myself? That's right.
354
00:17:33,029 --> 00:17:34,106
What about you?
355
00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:36,530
I'm gonna have him kidnapped.
356
00:17:37,066 --> 00:17:38,160
Kidnapped?!
357
00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:39,427
Kidnapped?
358
00:17:39,451 --> 00:17:42,230
Hekawi peaceful tribe.
Never kidnap nobody.
359
00:17:42,254 --> 00:17:43,431
Now, wait a minute.
360
00:17:43,455 --> 00:17:45,300
We got a good thing
goin' with this captain.
361
00:17:45,324 --> 00:17:46,702
Do you wanna see him get killed?
362
00:17:46,726 --> 00:17:48,270
More better than
Hekawi get killed.
363
00:17:48,294 --> 00:17:50,539
Listen, do you remember
before the captain came here
364
00:17:50,563 --> 00:17:52,892
how the officers were always
snooping around the still,
365
00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:55,694
and counting blankets
and horses and supplies?
366
00:17:55,718 --> 00:17:57,963
Well, we can't afford to lose
the best C.O. we ever had.
367
00:17:57,987 --> 00:18:00,488
Let's face it. You Hekawis
have never had it so good.
368
00:18:01,507 --> 00:18:03,886
Hekawi have ancient saying:
369
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,153
"Beaver cannot fly
370
00:18:05,177 --> 00:18:08,796
when horn of young
buffalo point at full of moon."
371
00:18:09,415 --> 00:18:10,426
Yeah?
372
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:11,760
Yeah, well, I got a better one:
373
00:18:11,784 --> 00:18:13,995
"When great white
pigeon fall from sky,
374
00:18:14,019 --> 00:18:16,203
no more wampum grow on tree."
375
00:18:17,706 --> 00:18:18,984
You right.
376
00:18:19,008 --> 00:18:20,002
Who you want we grab?
377
00:18:20,026 --> 00:18:21,436
Yeah, now you're talking.
378
00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:23,838
Agarn is over at the saloon,
keeping an eye on this Sam Urp.
379
00:18:23,862 --> 00:18:26,508
Now, you send two of your best
braves over there, and get him.
380
00:18:26,532 --> 00:18:28,276
What if he put up fight?
381
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,733
Overpower him.
382
00:18:30,669 --> 00:18:33,229
Better send four braves.
383
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,073
Yeah, four.
384
00:18:39,412 --> 00:18:41,456
What happened to
them braves, anyway?
385
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,291
Uh... It's 3:30.
386
00:18:43,315 --> 00:18:44,835
It is? Yeah.
387
00:18:50,056 --> 00:18:51,922
Sundial always slow.
388
00:18:54,143 --> 00:18:55,854
Yeah, well, it's about time.
389
00:18:55,878 --> 00:18:58,490
He put up terrible
fight, but we get him.
390
00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:01,048
All right. Take him off.
Tie him to the stake.
391
00:19:07,556 --> 00:19:09,501
There we go. Now, get
that sack off of his head.
392
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,803
We'll give him one last
chance to skedaddle out of here.
393
00:19:14,930 --> 00:19:16,129
Agarn!
394
00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:19,361
All right.
395
00:19:19,385 --> 00:19:21,729
Light the fire and
pass the marshmallows.
396
00:19:21,753 --> 00:19:22,898
What did you bring him for?
397
00:19:22,922 --> 00:19:26,167
You said, Agarn guard
Urp, bring him here.
398
00:19:26,191 --> 00:19:27,224
We bring.
399
00:19:28,594 --> 00:19:30,372
He meant bring Urp.
400
00:19:30,396 --> 00:19:31,506
Oh.
401
00:19:31,530 --> 00:19:32,740
Good thing we not try.
402
00:19:32,764 --> 00:19:35,577
Have tough enough
time bring in Agarn.
403
00:19:35,601 --> 00:19:38,246
Sarge, either untie me, or
put an apple in my mouth!
404
00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:40,082
Untie the man. H...
405
00:19:40,106 --> 00:19:42,684
Hoppin' horned toads,
Urp's loose in town,
406
00:19:42,708 --> 00:19:44,841
and it's time for the
captain to start his patrol.
407
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:20,656
Get... Get, now, boys. I
told you to stop that, now.
408
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,813
Now... Now, run
along. Run along.
409
00:21:05,608 --> 00:21:08,120
Well, Mr. Urp. Glad to
see you've sobered up.
410
00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:09,588
Where are you goin'?
411
00:21:09,612 --> 00:21:10,822
I'm on patrol.
412
00:21:10,846 --> 00:21:12,875
You... What's the
matter with your arms?
413
00:21:12,899 --> 00:21:14,843
A touch of rheumatism?
414
00:21:14,867 --> 00:21:17,279
Don't try that
trick stuff on me.
415
00:21:17,303 --> 00:21:18,881
What kind of a shootout is this?
416
00:21:18,905 --> 00:21:19,882
Shootout?
417
00:21:19,906 --> 00:21:20,949
Who's having a shootout?
418
00:21:20,973 --> 00:21:22,351
We are!
419
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:23,852
We're gonna settle
once and for all
420
00:21:23,876 --> 00:21:25,220
who's the Scourge of the West.
421
00:21:25,244 --> 00:21:27,355
Oh, well, I coulda
told you that. I am.
422
00:21:27,379 --> 00:21:28,724
Ask any Indian.
423
00:21:28,748 --> 00:21:31,860
I don't have to ask anybody.
My guns do my talking for me.
424
00:21:31,884 --> 00:21:33,529
Now, are ya gonna
fight, or ain't ya?
425
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:35,196
Oh, no... No, I
couldn't do that.
426
00:21:35,220 --> 00:21:37,499
You see, I... I have a rule
about fighting in the street.
427
00:21:37,523 --> 00:21:40,168
Didn't you hear me
tell those two little boys?
428
00:21:40,192 --> 00:21:43,371
Soldier, either you fight, or
you'll be known as a coward
429
00:21:43,395 --> 00:21:44,940
from one end of the
West to the other.
430
00:21:44,964 --> 00:21:47,197
A lily-livered,
chicken-hearted coward.
431
00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:51,334
I will? And a disgrace
to your uniform.
432
00:21:52,939 --> 00:21:54,816
Well, then, I guess
I'll just have to fight.
433
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,119
Now, uh, you go down
to the blacksmith shop,
434
00:21:58,143 --> 00:21:59,423
and we'll start all over.
435
00:22:10,989 --> 00:22:12,667
Wilton, don't do it.
436
00:22:12,691 --> 00:22:13,968
Please don't fight him.
437
00:22:13,992 --> 00:22:15,036
I've got to, Janey.
438
00:22:15,060 --> 00:22:16,571
It's for the honor
of the cavalry.
439
00:22:16,595 --> 00:22:18,306
I have to do my duty
as a good captain.
440
00:22:18,330 --> 00:22:20,776
But don't you even want
to live to be a good major?
441
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,640
Come on, Parmenter.
Let's get her over with.
442
00:22:25,288 --> 00:22:26,899
Excuse me, Janey.
443
00:22:26,923 --> 00:22:29,434
A man must do what he must do.
444
00:22:29,458 --> 00:22:31,336
Oh, Wilton, he's
a dead shot, and...
445
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,505
And this morning you
didn't even hit a thing.
446
00:22:33,529 --> 00:22:34,973
Well, now,
that's... That's true,
447
00:22:34,997 --> 00:22:36,641
but he's a lot
bigger than a bottle.
448
00:22:36,665 --> 00:22:37,905
Oh, Wilton!
449
00:22:40,203 --> 00:22:41,203
I'm...
450
00:22:42,104 --> 00:22:43,482
All right, Parmenter.
451
00:22:43,506 --> 00:22:45,067
Reach for your gun.
452
00:22:45,091 --> 00:22:46,468
Oh, do I go first?
453
00:22:46,492 --> 00:22:48,192
Oh, thank you.
454
00:23:06,745 --> 00:23:08,356
All right, drop the gun, Urp.
455
00:23:08,380 --> 00:23:10,792
Agarn, did you ever see
shooting like that in your life?
456
00:23:10,816 --> 00:23:12,860
You ought to be
glad you're still alive.
457
00:23:12,884 --> 00:23:15,263
Yeah, he coulda cut you to
ribbons anytime he wanted to.
458
00:23:15,287 --> 00:23:18,922
Look at him. The
one and only Scourge.
459
00:23:22,128 --> 00:23:23,238
Look, sarge.
460
00:23:23,262 --> 00:23:24,639
He's figurin' out the next shot.
461
00:23:24,663 --> 00:23:26,141
Yeah. Come on, Agarn.
462
00:23:26,165 --> 00:23:27,842
Listen, if you know
what's good for you,
463
00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:29,344
you're gonna stay
out of this town.
464
00:23:29,368 --> 00:23:31,045
All right, give us a
hand, here, fellas.
465
00:23:31,069 --> 00:23:34,816
Hey, you... You ain't
heard the last of me.
466
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,352
All right, drop that
thing off and run.
467
00:23:37,376 --> 00:23:39,526
Hey, hey! Hey, let me out! Hey!
468
00:23:43,766 --> 00:23:44,809
Hey, let's hear it, now.
469
00:23:44,833 --> 00:23:46,110
All right, captain!
470
00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,211
Did you see that? Did you?
471
00:23:47,235 --> 00:23:48,212
Ha, ha, ha... Ow!
472
00:23:48,236 --> 00:23:49,213
The winner!
473
00:23:49,237 --> 00:23:51,538
Uh, th... Thank you, thank you.
474
00:23:55,327 --> 00:23:57,706
Hey, things are sure quiet
around town since Mr. Urp left.
475
00:23:57,730 --> 00:24:00,274
Yeah, he suddenly remembered
he had a big deal in Tombstone.
476
00:24:00,298 --> 00:24:01,610
Or a tombstone in Big Deal.
477
00:24:02,701 --> 00:24:04,145
That's very humorous, corporal.
478
00:24:04,169 --> 00:24:05,213
Hey! Now, look at that.
479
00:24:05,237 --> 00:24:06,436
They're at it again.
480
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,451
Here now, what are you two
boys fighting about this time?
481
00:24:10,475 --> 00:24:12,687
I say the captain's the
best shot in the West,
482
00:24:12,711 --> 00:24:14,355
and he says he ain't.
483
00:24:14,379 --> 00:24:16,457
Show him, captain.
484
00:24:16,481 --> 00:24:19,516
Well, if it'll keep you
two boys from fighting.
485
00:24:20,519 --> 00:24:22,479
Now, you see that
bottle over there?
486
00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:25,439
Watch this.
487
00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:36,161
See? I told you.
488
00:24:36,185 --> 00:24:37,662
Here, now, captain,
489
00:24:37,686 --> 00:24:40,065
don't you think we ought to
get on over to the Tinkerbell?
490
00:24:40,089 --> 00:24:43,101
Right, sergeant. And this
time, the sarsaparilla's on me.
491
00:24:43,125 --> 00:24:44,335
Sarsaparilla.
35321
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof