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♪ The end of the
Civil War Was near ♪
2
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:17,619
♪ When quite accidentally ♪
3
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,905
♪ A hero who sneezed
Abruptly seized ♪
4
00:00:19,929 --> 00:00:25,627
♪ Retreat And
reversed it to victory ♪
5
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:27,996
♪ His Medal of Honor
Pleased and thrilled ♪
6
00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:31,082
♪ His proud little
Family group ♪
7
00:00:31,106 --> 00:00:33,250
♪ While pinning it on
Some blood was spilled ♪
8
00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:35,787
♪ And so it was
planned He'd command ♪
9
00:00:35,811 --> 00:00:37,255
♪ F Troop! ♪
10
00:00:37,279 --> 00:00:39,924
♪ Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights ♪
11
00:00:39,948 --> 00:00:42,260
♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪
12
00:00:42,284 --> 00:00:45,564
♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪
13
00:00:45,588 --> 00:00:48,233
♪ Both turn chicken ♪
14
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,268
♪ When drilling and
fighting Get them down ♪
15
00:00:50,292 --> 00:00:52,871
♪ They know their
morale Can't droop ♪
16
00:00:52,895 --> 00:00:55,723
♪ As long as they
all Relax in town ♪
17
00:00:55,747 --> 00:00:59,894
♪ Before they resume
With a bang and a boom ♪
18
00:00:59,918 --> 00:01:01,400
♪ F Troop! ♪
19
00:01:45,014 --> 00:01:47,859
Five thousand dollars reward.
20
00:01:47,883 --> 00:01:50,161
Sure would be great
for a young couple
21
00:01:50,185 --> 00:01:52,297
startin' out life together,
wouldn't it, Wilton?
22
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,931
Oh, yes. Yes, it would.
23
00:01:53,955 --> 00:01:55,800
Be a perfect wedding gift.
24
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:59,670
Mm-hm. Why, do you know
somebody who's getting married?
25
00:01:59,694 --> 00:02:02,173
Wilton, sometimes
I could just...
26
00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:04,677
Postman said I
should put this up here.
27
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,998
I'll bring them in, Jane.
28
00:02:11,022 --> 00:02:12,600
I'm not just captain
of Fort Courage.
29
00:02:12,624 --> 00:02:14,202
I'm responsible
for this whole area.
30
00:02:14,226 --> 00:02:16,771
Think maybe I should come
along and get 'em with you, Wilton?
31
00:02:16,795 --> 00:02:18,873
You know, I can
shoot the eyelashes
32
00:02:18,897 --> 00:02:21,392
off a jackrabbit at 200 feet.
33
00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:23,482
Ooh, no. Capturing
bandits, that's man's work.
34
00:02:25,721 --> 00:02:26,698
Uh-uh. Ah, ah.
35
00:02:26,722 --> 00:02:27,799
Just a moment.
36
00:02:27,823 --> 00:02:29,555
This is man's work too.
37
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,165
Uh... Oh, yeah.
38
00:02:41,302 --> 00:02:42,435
Mm.
39
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,593
I don't know what could
be the matter with him, Doc.
40
00:02:55,617 --> 00:02:57,762
I offer him carrots
and... And sugar...
41
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,464
and candy and
everything, but he just...
42
00:02:59,488 --> 00:03:01,031
Well, he doesn't
have any appetite,
43
00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,099
doesn't have any pep.
44
00:03:02,123 --> 00:03:04,034
Ah. Well, let me see his feet.
45
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:05,503
Oh. Lift up his foot there.
46
00:03:05,527 --> 00:03:06,704
All right. Come on, beauty.
47
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,172
Let's see here. Show the doctor.
48
00:03:08,196 --> 00:03:10,708
That's a good girl. Yeah. Mm-hm.
49
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,309
Now. Well?
50
00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:14,178
Now, let me... Let
me see that stomach.
51
00:03:14,202 --> 00:03:15,602
Here we are.
52
00:03:17,606 --> 00:03:18,850
Hm.
53
00:03:18,874 --> 00:03:20,351
Well.
54
00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:22,520
See, try here now.
55
00:03:22,544 --> 00:03:24,722
See if his eye is clear.
56
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,958
Ah-ha. Now, just a minute.
57
00:03:27,982 --> 00:03:29,226
Whoo, now. Take it easy, boy.
58
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,895
Yeah. He's sensitive
around the ears.
59
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,230
I know. I want to see
if he's got any fever.
60
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,132
Oh. It's all right, baby.
61
00:03:35,156 --> 00:03:37,101
All right, now.
Open up his mouth.
62
00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,969
Oh. Here.
63
00:03:38,993 --> 00:03:40,137
Sure. Show him your teeth.
64
00:03:40,161 --> 00:03:42,239
Ah-ha.
65
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,442
Yeah. Mm.
66
00:03:44,466 --> 00:03:47,344
Well, yeah. I see. Well...
67
00:03:47,368 --> 00:03:49,814
Listen, could it maybe
be something he ate?
68
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:52,884
I mean, I gave him the
leftover stew last night.
69
00:03:52,908 --> 00:03:54,385
Well, I'll have to
make some tests,
70
00:03:54,409 --> 00:03:56,538
and I'll give you my
report tomorrow. Oh.
71
00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:01,709
Ooh.
72
00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:02,977
Corporal Agarn?
73
00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:04,345
Is that you, Captain Parmenter?
74
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,446
Yes, I heard you were ill.
75
00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:06,647
I thought I'd come see you.
76
00:04:06,671 --> 00:04:07,932
What seems to be the trouble?
77
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,867
I ate some of the leftovers
78
00:04:09,891 --> 00:04:11,869
from the beef stew last night.
79
00:04:11,893 --> 00:04:13,137
You should go see the doctor.
80
00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:15,372
Thank you, captain.
Here, I'll help you up.
81
00:04:15,396 --> 00:04:19,477
Just... Just... Let
me sit here, captain.
82
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:21,612
Oh, but the doctor can help you.
83
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:22,747
Nobody can help me.
84
00:04:22,771 --> 00:04:24,381
Oh, no, corporal.
You're just going
85
00:04:24,405 --> 00:04:26,083
to have to pull
yourself together here.
86
00:04:26,107 --> 00:04:28,486
Stand up, stand up. Atta...
87
00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:30,287
What, what? Where
does it hurt you?
88
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,722
My foot. My foot!
89
00:04:31,746 --> 00:04:32,857
Your foot?
90
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:35,515
You're standing on my foot.
91
00:04:37,418 --> 00:04:39,396
Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
92
00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:41,599
But the doctor will know
just what's wrong with you.
93
00:04:41,623 --> 00:04:43,434
Here, come on. We'll go see him.
94
00:04:43,458 --> 00:04:45,169
Just wait'll you see him.
95
00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:46,838
I'm sorry, captain. I...
96
00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:49,562
I guess I'm just
an old fuddy-duddy.
97
00:04:53,685 --> 00:04:55,529
Doctor? Oh, doctor.
98
00:04:55,553 --> 00:04:57,431
A horse doctor?
99
00:04:57,455 --> 00:04:59,533
He's the only
medical man we have.
100
00:04:59,557 --> 00:05:00,802
Oh, hello, captain.
101
00:05:00,826 --> 00:05:02,870
Doctor, we have
a sick soldier here.
102
00:05:02,894 --> 00:05:04,105
Yeah. Really?
103
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:05,707
Well, what seems
to be the trouble?
104
00:05:05,731 --> 00:05:07,976
Well, I have these pains,
105
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,244
and I can't eat, no pep.
106
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,713
Well, let me see your feet.
107
00:05:11,737 --> 00:05:13,481
Now, lift up your foot.
108
00:05:13,505 --> 00:05:15,271
Lift up your foot.
109
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:18,753
Ah. Uh-huh.
110
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,522
All right, come
on over here now.
111
00:05:21,546 --> 00:05:26,249
Now... Let me see that stomach.
112
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:27,929
Hm.
113
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,830
Hm.
114
00:05:29,854 --> 00:05:32,099
Ah. Well, now.
115
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,502
Let's, uh... Let's
see if the eye is clear.
116
00:05:35,526 --> 00:05:36,870
Ah-ha. Ah.
117
00:05:36,894 --> 00:05:38,572
Let me see if you
have any fever.
118
00:05:38,596 --> 00:05:40,641
Whoa.
119
00:05:40,665 --> 00:05:43,177
Very sensitive around my ears.
120
00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:45,646
All right, now.
Open up your mouth.
121
00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:47,203
Open up your mouth!
122
00:05:48,373 --> 00:05:49,417
Oh.
123
00:05:49,441 --> 00:05:51,607
Yeah, ooh. I see.
124
00:05:56,198 --> 00:05:57,775
Ah, well. Now.
125
00:05:57,799 --> 00:05:59,510
I'll h... I'll have to
make a few tests,
126
00:05:59,534 --> 00:06:00,978
and I'll let you know tomorrow.
127
00:06:01,002 --> 00:06:02,146
Go take a rest, corporal.
128
00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:03,915
Okay. I'll help him
back to the barracks.
129
00:06:03,939 --> 00:06:05,850
Yeah. Thank you,
doctor. Goodbye.
130
00:06:11,113 --> 00:06:13,413
Oh, corporal.
131
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,098
Don't help anymore, captain.
132
00:06:20,122 --> 00:06:22,555
You've done enough
for me already.
133
00:06:27,379 --> 00:06:29,623
I have these pains
in my stomach,
134
00:06:29,647 --> 00:06:30,992
and I... I get dizzy.
135
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,026
Dizzy? Yeah.
136
00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,528
Me best medicine
man in all West.
137
00:06:34,552 --> 00:06:36,064
Soon you feel much better.
138
00:06:36,088 --> 00:06:37,098
Think so?
139
00:06:37,122 --> 00:06:38,889
Mm. Come, see chart.
140
00:06:42,995 --> 00:06:45,673
Heap big picture of tum-tum.
141
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:49,077
You, oh, bad, bad, bad.
142
00:06:49,101 --> 00:06:52,280
Tum-tum all topsy-turvy.
143
00:06:52,304 --> 00:06:53,882
Can you give me
something for it?
144
00:06:53,906 --> 00:06:56,617
Step into office.
145
00:06:56,641 --> 00:06:58,052
Sit down.
146
00:06:58,076 --> 00:06:59,988
Easy, easy, easy. Oh.
147
00:07:00,012 --> 00:07:03,791
Me do medicine
dance to great spirit.
148
00:07:03,815 --> 00:07:07,650
Soon, you are yourself again.
149
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,449
Kenosabe.
150
00:07:12,907 --> 00:07:16,254
Kenosabe.
151
00:07:16,278 --> 00:07:18,578
Keno, Keno.
152
00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:24,212
How your tummy now?
153
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,980
Well, you're a
wonderful dancer, doc.
154
00:07:27,004 --> 00:07:28,833
Don't you have some
medicine I can take?
155
00:07:28,857 --> 00:07:30,590
That come.
156
00:07:33,294 --> 00:07:34,389
You take this.
157
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:36,957
Take... that?
158
00:07:36,981 --> 00:07:38,826
Kiss of evening breeze,
159
00:07:38,850 --> 00:07:41,262
blended with pollen
of lovely flower
160
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,865
and essence of fine herbs
161
00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:47,368
crossed with mystic
spices of the Hekawis.
162
00:07:47,392 --> 00:07:48,603
Very secret.
163
00:07:48,627 --> 00:07:50,488
Yeah, but what is it?
164
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,941
Marinated corn cob.
165
00:07:52,965 --> 00:07:55,076
Take pinch every three hours
166
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,933
with glass water.
167
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,565
Hot. Hot.
168
00:08:18,589 --> 00:08:21,241
Hot, hot. Hot!
169
00:08:27,031 --> 00:08:29,543
Well, what do you think, Doc?
170
00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:30,978
Sure like that horse. I...
171
00:08:31,002 --> 00:08:32,313
Well, I'm sorry, sergeant.
172
00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:34,065
I've completed my
tests on the horse,
173
00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:35,332
and the news is not good.
174
00:08:35,356 --> 00:08:36,818
What's wrong with him?
175
00:08:36,842 --> 00:08:39,187
Go on. Give it to me
straight, Doc. How bad is he?
176
00:08:39,211 --> 00:08:41,088
Well, I know how
close you are to him,
177
00:08:41,112 --> 00:08:42,356
and I hate to tell you this.
178
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:43,390
He's a goner.
179
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,661
How long you reckon he can last?
180
00:08:46,685 --> 00:08:48,935
Oh, could go any minute.
181
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:56,004
Well, I hate to
suggest this, but...
182
00:08:56,028 --> 00:08:57,605
What do you think?
Maybe it'd help
183
00:08:57,629 --> 00:08:59,307
if I put him out of his misery?
184
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:01,376
Oh, no. I wouldn't do that.
185
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,013
Let him enjoy his last few days.
186
00:09:05,037 --> 00:09:07,482
You... You'll know
when the end's coming.
187
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:08,850
His tongue'll turn black,
188
00:09:08,874 --> 00:09:12,453
and his teeth'll get loose.
189
00:09:12,477 --> 00:09:14,072
Well, thank you, Doc.
190
00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,074
I have to start thinking
about a replacement.
191
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,492
That'll take me
a couple of days.
192
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,861
Ah. I'm sorry. That's all right.
193
00:09:19,885 --> 00:09:22,601
At least now that I know,
I can change my plans.
194
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,917
Well, so long, Doc.
195
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,273
So long.
196
00:09:34,749 --> 00:09:37,895
Well, hello, corporal.
What's the matter with you?
197
00:09:37,919 --> 00:09:39,964
You look like
you've been crying.
198
00:09:39,988 --> 00:09:41,665
I'll be all right.
199
00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:44,135
I'm a soldier.
200
00:09:44,159 --> 00:09:46,237
Give it to me straight,
Doc. What is it?
201
00:09:46,261 --> 00:09:48,372
Nothing at all.
Just relax and...
202
00:09:48,396 --> 00:09:50,908
And stop worrying.
203
00:09:50,932 --> 00:09:52,498
Stop worrying?
204
00:09:54,436 --> 00:09:55,913
Tell me the truth, Doc.
205
00:09:55,937 --> 00:09:57,815
I can take it.
206
00:09:57,839 --> 00:09:58,849
What is it?
207
00:09:58,873 --> 00:10:00,451
You're fine, just like I said.
208
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,741
Just take it easy
and enjoy yourself.
209
00:10:07,282 --> 00:10:09,115
"Enjoy yourself."
210
00:10:11,686 --> 00:10:14,932
"Enjoy yourself."
211
00:10:14,956 --> 00:10:17,601
A man in my condition?
212
00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:20,004
It's all in your mind, son.
213
00:10:20,028 --> 00:10:21,805
There's nothing wrong.
214
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,274
Uh... Here.
215
00:10:23,298 --> 00:10:25,977
An apple a day
keeps the doctor away.
216
00:10:30,705 --> 00:10:31,983
Eat an apple.
217
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:35,652
With a black tongue
and loose teeth.
218
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,288
Isn't there anything
in this world
219
00:10:37,312 --> 00:10:40,480
for a man with a
topsy-turvy tum-tum?
220
00:10:50,708 --> 00:10:52,520
Oh. Thank you, Duffy.
221
00:10:52,544 --> 00:10:53,888
Here. You can take care of him.
222
00:10:53,912 --> 00:10:55,122
Be glad to, captain.
223
00:10:55,146 --> 00:10:57,190
Oh, captain. I, uh...
224
00:10:57,214 --> 00:10:59,159
I'd like to speak to you
about your man, Agarn.
225
00:10:59,183 --> 00:11:01,028
Corporal Agarn?
Yeah, he's not well.
226
00:11:01,052 --> 00:11:03,163
Really? What is it?
He's very nervous.
227
00:11:03,187 --> 00:11:05,766
There's nothing physically
wrong with him, you understand.
228
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,001
But, uh... you should
handle him very carefully.
229
00:11:08,025 --> 00:11:10,370
He's liable to break
down, just go all to pieces.
230
00:11:10,394 --> 00:11:12,239
He imagines he's ill.
231
00:11:12,263 --> 00:11:13,541
Well, uh...
232
00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:15,443
do you think I should
give him a weekend pass?
233
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,844
Mm. Might help.
234
00:11:16,868 --> 00:11:18,946
The best medicine you
could give him is kindness.
235
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:21,916
Just humor him along.
236
00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:24,184
Well, then, kindness
is the word, doctor.
237
00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:26,620
Don't worry. I'll handle it.
238
00:11:29,714 --> 00:11:31,147
Oh, captain.
239
00:11:33,685 --> 00:11:34,962
That's an order, sergeant.
240
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,097
I want you and everyone
in the troop to treat Agarn
241
00:11:37,121 --> 00:11:39,400
with sympathy and
understanding. Very well, sir.
242
00:11:39,424 --> 00:11:41,769
Make sure he has plenty
of rest, warm milk, fresh fruit.
243
00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:43,704
And be sure he takes
his nap in the afternoon.
244
00:11:43,728 --> 00:11:44,905
Yes, sir.
245
00:11:44,929 --> 00:11:46,996
No matter what he
says, you go along with it.
246
00:11:51,436 --> 00:11:54,615
The key to being
a successful officer
247
00:11:54,639 --> 00:11:56,817
is control in every situation.
248
00:11:56,841 --> 00:12:00,576
Your successful officer is
always in complete control.
249
00:12:01,078 --> 00:12:02,378
Sir.
250
00:12:20,264 --> 00:12:23,143
Hey, Agarn. Got
a surprise for you.
251
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:26,079
Farewell gift?
Is that it, sarge?
252
00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:28,915
Well, no. It's some
fresh fruit and warm milk.
253
00:12:28,939 --> 00:12:30,984
Yeah. Whoop, whoa. Wait, wait.
254
00:12:31,008 --> 00:12:32,453
Here, why don't you have this
255
00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:34,421
and then... And then take a nap?
256
00:12:34,445 --> 00:12:36,523
That's nice of you, sarge.
257
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:39,393
You and me, we've had
some good times together.
258
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:42,396
Yeah, we've made some
pretty sharp business deals.
259
00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:44,148
Remember the time we emptied
260
00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:46,884
the kerosene lamps out of
the inspector general's office?
261
00:12:46,908 --> 00:12:49,086
Yeah. Took 'em into town
and sold it as hair tonic.
262
00:12:49,110 --> 00:12:50,220
You couldn't light a match
263
00:12:50,244 --> 00:12:51,789
near a bald-headed
man for a month.
264
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,357
Listen, you just take it easy.
265
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:54,725
I'm due over at the 'Kawi camp.
266
00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:57,394
I got a new idea. See,
we'll supply the soap,
267
00:12:57,418 --> 00:12:59,063
and then we'll
sell a combination
268
00:12:59,087 --> 00:13:00,464
peace pipe and bubble pipe.
269
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,632
You can keep my share.
270
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:02,900
What are you talkin' about?
271
00:13:02,924 --> 00:13:05,002
You and I are partners
to the bitter end.
272
00:13:05,026 --> 00:13:06,170
"The bitter end"?
273
00:13:06,194 --> 00:13:07,474
So long, Agarn.
274
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,408
So long, sarge.
275
00:13:11,432 --> 00:13:13,165
So long, F Troop.
276
00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:22,419
It's light blue.
277
00:13:22,443 --> 00:13:24,321
Pretty soon it'll be dark blue.
278
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:25,556
Then black blue.
279
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:29,493
And then black
black. And that's it.
280
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:32,128
Then you get the
parade, the muffled drums,
281
00:13:32,152 --> 00:13:34,398
and 21-gun salute.
282
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,933
What makes you think
you'd get 21 guns?
283
00:13:36,957 --> 00:13:38,235
That's for a president.
284
00:13:38,259 --> 00:13:39,570
Eighteen.
285
00:13:39,594 --> 00:13:41,238
Nah, that's a general.
286
00:13:41,262 --> 00:13:42,773
What does a corporal get?
287
00:13:42,797 --> 00:13:44,641
A three-gun salute.
288
00:13:44,665 --> 00:13:46,042
Maybe.
289
00:13:46,066 --> 00:13:48,412
And a crooked
corporal? He'd get...
290
00:13:50,137 --> 00:13:53,116
What a way to go,
me, a crooked corporal.
291
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:55,919
The least I can do is
square myself with the world.
292
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:58,021
For the sake of Mom, Dad, and...
293
00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:00,212
Aunt Charley.
294
00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:14,026
Dear inspector... general:
295
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:23,930
I want to... make
a full... confession.
296
00:14:32,696 --> 00:14:35,008
Hi there, corporal.
Oh. Hello, Miss Jane.
297
00:14:35,032 --> 00:14:36,877
What's the matter?
You look kind of sad.
298
00:14:36,901 --> 00:14:37,978
Real down in the mouth,
299
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,579
like going to a
funeral or something.
300
00:14:39,603 --> 00:14:40,736
Bye.
301
00:14:42,974 --> 00:14:44,306
Bye.
302
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,999
Cleaning your rifle, sarge?
303
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,023
Yeah.
304
00:15:07,331 --> 00:15:09,843
You don't fool me.
305
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:10,944
What?
306
00:15:10,968 --> 00:15:14,114
Go ahead, shoot!
Give it to me, right here.
307
00:15:14,138 --> 00:15:16,049
What are you talkin' about?
308
00:15:16,073 --> 00:15:18,185
I heard you talkin' to
the doctor about me.
309
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,237
You said maybe you should
put me out of my misery.
310
00:15:20,261 --> 00:15:23,807
I can't stand the
suspense. Go ahead, shoot!
311
00:15:23,831 --> 00:15:25,075
Talkin' about you?
312
00:15:25,099 --> 00:15:27,044
I know I'm a goner.
313
00:15:27,068 --> 00:15:29,046
I can't stand the
suspense. Shoot.
314
00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:30,680
I don't even need a blindfold.
315
00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:32,315
Just a condemned man's dinner.
316
00:15:32,339 --> 00:15:34,284
Chicken, peas... watermelon.
317
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,304
Wait, hold the peas.
You got candied yams?
318
00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,072
Candied yams?
319
00:15:39,096 --> 00:15:40,974
Sure. You wouldn't refuse a man
320
00:15:40,998 --> 00:15:42,509
his last request.
321
00:15:42,533 --> 00:15:44,678
What are you talking
about? Last request?
322
00:15:44,702 --> 00:15:46,746
You got nothing to worry about.
323
00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:48,315
I didn't mention
you in the letter.
324
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:49,950
Letter? What letter?
325
00:15:49,974 --> 00:15:51,785
I had to do it.
326
00:15:51,809 --> 00:15:54,154
I gotta leave this earth
with a clear conscience.
327
00:15:54,178 --> 00:15:55,940
I told him about all
the deals we made,
328
00:15:55,964 --> 00:15:57,908
and the... The swindles.
329
00:15:57,932 --> 00:16:00,777
But I took the blame,
sarge. I didn't mention you.
330
00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:03,580
I may have black
tongue and loose teeth,
331
00:16:03,604 --> 00:16:05,649
but I got a clear conscience.
332
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,819
Black tongue. Loose teeth.
333
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,323
That was my horse
we were talking about.
334
00:16:12,212 --> 00:16:14,190
Your horse? What do
you mean, your horse?
335
00:16:14,214 --> 00:16:15,659
The vet said my
horse is very sick.
336
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,895
He hasn't got a chance.
Now, what about the letter?
337
00:16:17,919 --> 00:16:20,063
What about me? You're fine.
338
00:16:20,087 --> 00:16:22,032
There's nothing wrong
with you. You're fine.
339
00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:23,300
But what about the letter?
340
00:16:23,324 --> 00:16:24,768
I'm fine?
341
00:16:27,661 --> 00:16:30,874
I'm fine. Oh, that's
marvelous for me!
342
00:16:30,898 --> 00:16:32,276
Very bad for the horse.
343
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:33,610
Never mind the horse.
344
00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:34,812
What about the letter?
345
00:16:34,836 --> 00:16:36,446
Oh, the letter's all right.
346
00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:38,871
I just mailed it to
the inspector general.
347
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:46,323
The inspector general?
348
00:16:52,419 --> 00:16:54,164
I'll keep an eye out.
You see if you can get
349
00:16:54,188 --> 00:16:55,687
the letter out of the bag.
350
00:17:12,106 --> 00:17:13,250
Sarge, look at that.
351
00:17:13,274 --> 00:17:15,819
Hey, that's my new possum trap.
352
00:17:15,843 --> 00:17:17,655
Just ordered it
from Carson City.
353
00:17:17,679 --> 00:17:18,689
Beautiful, isn't it?
354
00:17:18,713 --> 00:17:19,990
It hurts, but it's beautiful.
355
00:17:20,014 --> 00:17:21,392
Agarn just put
a letter in there,
356
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:22,793
and we forgot to
put a stamp on it.
357
00:17:22,817 --> 00:17:24,628
Oh. Well, this here's
the incoming mail.
358
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,197
Oh?
359
00:17:26,221 --> 00:17:27,798
Outgoing mail just left.
360
00:17:27,822 --> 00:17:28,932
Lucky for you,
361
00:17:28,956 --> 00:17:30,734
they took your letter
without a stamp.
362
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,735
Ah.
363
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:34,037
Yeah. Lucky.
364
00:17:34,061 --> 00:17:35,506
I wish I was dead.
365
00:17:35,530 --> 00:17:37,374
Are you sure there's
nothing wrong with me?
366
00:17:37,398 --> 00:17:39,343
No, but there will be
if the inspector general
367
00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:40,811
ever gets ahold of that letter.
368
00:17:40,835 --> 00:17:43,395
Yeah. We'll be on that poster.
369
00:17:45,056 --> 00:17:46,433
That's it.
370
00:17:46,457 --> 00:17:48,769
What's it? What's what?
What's? Who? What?
371
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,271
We'll become the
Colton Brothers.
372
00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:51,438
We'll stick up the mails.
373
00:17:51,462 --> 00:17:53,706
Stick up the U.S. mails?
374
00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:55,242
Just to get the letter back.
375
00:17:55,266 --> 00:17:58,212
We'll put on masks,
and no one'll know it's us.
376
00:17:58,236 --> 00:17:59,780
They'll think it's
the Colton Boys.
377
00:17:59,804 --> 00:18:01,582
Do you know the penalty
378
00:18:01,606 --> 00:18:04,251
for robbing the U.S.
mail is 10 years?
379
00:18:04,275 --> 00:18:06,854
We're not robbing the mails.
380
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:09,039
It's your own letter
we're going to get back.
381
00:18:09,063 --> 00:18:12,665
I mean, what can they do to you?
382
00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:32,112
One month ago,
the Colton Brothers
383
00:18:32,136 --> 00:18:34,647
held up the mail at
Brimstone Canyon.
384
00:18:34,671 --> 00:18:37,117
Now, one week ago,
the Colton Brothers
385
00:18:37,141 --> 00:18:39,819
held up the mail
at Arroyo Gulch.
386
00:18:39,843 --> 00:18:41,921
Now, I figure
they'll strike next
387
00:18:41,945 --> 00:18:44,124
right around Coldwater.
388
00:18:44,148 --> 00:18:45,580
Does that give you an idea?
389
00:18:47,385 --> 00:18:48,783
Yes, sir. I win.
390
00:18:51,489 --> 00:18:54,701
Look. Dobbs, all
I was trying to do
391
00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:56,603
is point out that there
is a pattern to what
392
00:18:56,627 --> 00:18:57,971
the Colton Brothers are doing.
393
00:18:57,995 --> 00:18:59,206
Now, all we have to do is head
394
00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:01,074
for Coldwater
Canyon and grab them.
395
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,609
So let's mount
our horses and go.
396
00:19:02,633 --> 00:19:03,910
I'll get my bugle.
397
00:19:19,349 --> 00:19:20,649
Oh, Dobbs.
398
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,470
What time do we pass
through Coldwater Canyon?
399
00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:32,695
Are we on schedule?
400
00:19:34,364 --> 00:19:37,644
Oh, I've got to be in today
at 9:00 in the morning.
401
00:19:37,668 --> 00:19:39,868
I'm gettin' married
there tomorrow.
402
00:19:45,043 --> 00:19:48,355
That stagecoach will
be here any minute, Bob.
403
00:19:48,379 --> 00:19:49,723
Let's put on the masks.
404
00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:51,758
Right, Bill.
405
00:19:51,782 --> 00:19:54,561
I'll get the mailbag,
and I'll throw it to you.
406
00:19:54,585 --> 00:19:57,264
When I say, "Follow
me," we ride away.
407
00:19:57,288 --> 00:19:58,298
I got it. Right.
408
00:20:00,374 --> 00:20:01,735
Now, listen,
409
00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:04,238
that stage is gonna be here
any minute. Put your mask on.
410
00:20:04,262 --> 00:20:06,039
You remember, now.
When I get the mail sack
411
00:20:06,063 --> 00:20:08,141
and throw it down to you,
and holler, "Follow me,"
412
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,481
we ride out, all right?
413
00:20:11,686 --> 00:20:13,296
Ah. Hey.
414
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,155
Hold that coach!
415
00:20:18,326 --> 00:20:19,792
Give me that mailbag.
416
00:20:21,662 --> 00:20:22,805
Here, Bob.
417
00:20:22,829 --> 00:20:23,841
I'm not Bob.
418
00:20:23,865 --> 00:20:25,075
Neither am I.
419
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,844
Here, give me that.
420
00:20:26,868 --> 00:20:28,345
What are you doing
over there, Bob?
421
00:20:28,369 --> 00:20:30,280
I'm not Bob. BOB:
That's right, Bill.
422
00:20:30,304 --> 00:20:31,432
He's not Bob. I'm Bob.
423
00:20:31,456 --> 00:20:33,434
Who is he? I
thought that was you.
424
00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:36,069
That's not me. I'm me! He's him.
425
00:20:36,093 --> 00:20:37,521
What's happening out there?
426
00:20:37,545 --> 00:20:39,144
Give that bag to Bob!
427
00:20:41,048 --> 00:20:43,026
I got these two guys covered.
428
00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:44,027
Take off, Bob.
429
00:20:44,051 --> 00:20:45,996
Oh, don't you touch that bag.
430
00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:48,532
My weddin' invitations is in it!
431
00:20:48,556 --> 00:20:50,299
What are you, a wise guy?
432
00:20:50,323 --> 00:20:53,302
Why didn't you
give that bag to Bob?
433
00:20:53,326 --> 00:20:54,604
Well, I thought he was Bob.
434
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,623
Didn't you think he was Bob?
435
00:20:56,647 --> 00:20:59,092
I wish you'd make up
your mind who's Bob
436
00:20:59,116 --> 00:21:01,428
so I can get out of
here. I'm late already.
437
00:21:01,452 --> 00:21:03,764
And I may be late for
my own honeymoon.
438
00:21:03,788 --> 00:21:06,133
Why don't you shut
up, you old crow?
439
00:21:06,157 --> 00:21:09,469
I'm not an old crow.
I'm an engaged woman!
440
00:21:09,493 --> 00:21:11,505
You fresh thing.
441
00:21:11,529 --> 00:21:13,941
Go on with your robbery
so we can get outta here.
442
00:21:13,965 --> 00:21:16,443
I'm Captain Parmenter
of the United States Army,
443
00:21:16,467 --> 00:21:18,078
and I've got you surrounded.
444
00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:19,379
I knew you'd be here, Coltons.
445
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,547
All right, get going.
446
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:21,848
Oh, no, not me!
447
00:21:21,872 --> 00:21:24,251
I don't want that,
it's stolen property.
448
00:21:24,275 --> 00:21:26,653
Captain, how come
there's four of 'em?
449
00:21:26,677 --> 00:21:28,121
They must be
trying to confuse us.
450
00:21:28,145 --> 00:21:30,490
Well, we'll just have
to arrest them all.
451
00:21:30,514 --> 00:21:32,459
That belongs to the
United States Post Office.
452
00:21:32,483 --> 00:21:33,949
Give me that.
453
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:38,798
Here. Dobbs, head for the fort.
454
00:21:38,822 --> 00:21:40,733
All right, you're
all under arrest.
455
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:41,969
Now, let's ride.
456
00:21:41,993 --> 00:21:43,220
Ha! Come on.
457
00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:06,976
Look at that. Wilton
caught the Coltons.
458
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,445
Yeah.
459
00:22:08,469 --> 00:22:09,846
All right, throw down your guns.
460
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,665
Throw down your
guns. Put up your hands.
461
00:22:11,689 --> 00:22:14,256
All right. Give me
that mail bag, Dobbs.
462
00:22:15,826 --> 00:22:16,787
Sergeant O'Rourke.
463
00:22:16,811 --> 00:22:18,354
Corporal Agarn.
464
00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:20,657
Well, yes, sir. We
went underground, sir.
465
00:22:20,681 --> 00:22:23,043
Hoping, like you, to
capture the Coltons.
466
00:22:23,067 --> 00:22:24,611
You did? AGARN:
But it was you, sir,
467
00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:26,279
who decoyed them into the fort.
468
00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:28,148
A brilliant move, sir.
469
00:22:28,172 --> 00:22:29,282
A stroke of genius.
470
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:31,385
Oh, yes. Planting
that fake pay envelope
471
00:22:31,409 --> 00:22:33,971
as a decoy, sir. Oh, clever.
472
00:22:33,995 --> 00:22:35,872
Clever. Very clever, sir. Yes.
473
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,808
Oh, Wilton, you've
captured the Coltons.
474
00:22:38,832 --> 00:22:40,210
You know, you're the bravest man
475
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:41,500
in the whole world.
476
00:22:42,870 --> 00:22:44,448
Please... Please, I'm on duty.
477
00:22:44,472 --> 00:22:46,083
So, what was that
about an envelope?
478
00:22:46,107 --> 00:22:47,985
Now, don't be modest, captain.
479
00:22:48,009 --> 00:22:49,252
Did I say "captain"?
480
00:22:49,276 --> 00:22:50,653
Oh, sir. I beg your pardon.
481
00:22:50,677 --> 00:22:52,255
At this rate, it will
soon be general.
482
00:22:52,279 --> 00:22:54,624
Shall I take the prisoners
to the guardhouse, general?
483
00:22:54,648 --> 00:22:57,027
"General." I keep
making that mistake.
484
00:22:57,051 --> 00:22:59,829
Oh, no, no, no. I can
handle this situation.
485
00:22:59,853 --> 00:23:00,998
Left!
486
00:23:01,022 --> 00:23:06,470
No, now. R-Right
face! Forward, huh!
487
00:23:09,363 --> 00:23:11,475
I'll see you later, Janey.
488
00:23:11,499 --> 00:23:12,709
Wilton?
489
00:23:12,733 --> 00:23:14,366
Oh, Wilton.
490
00:23:40,077 --> 00:23:41,655
Poor horse.
491
00:23:41,679 --> 00:23:44,024
Couldn't sleep all night.
492
00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:45,859
I brought him an apple, but...
493
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:47,661
I'm afraid it's too late.
494
00:23:47,685 --> 00:23:49,696
I know just how he feels.
495
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,430
I got my pains too.
496
00:23:51,454 --> 00:23:52,999
Mm? Where?
497
00:23:53,023 --> 00:23:55,802
Well, they start up
here in my head.
498
00:23:55,826 --> 00:23:58,972
Then they work
themselves around here...
499
00:23:58,996 --> 00:24:01,074
What? And come out here.
500
00:24:01,098 --> 00:24:03,509
What? What's that stuff?
501
00:24:03,533 --> 00:24:05,312
This?
502
00:24:05,336 --> 00:24:08,147
This kiss of evening breeze,
503
00:24:08,171 --> 00:24:10,784
blended with pollen
of beautiful flower
504
00:24:10,808 --> 00:24:12,619
and essence of fine herbs,
505
00:24:12,643 --> 00:24:15,488
crossed with mystic
spices of the Hekawi.
506
00:24:15,512 --> 00:24:16,556
Very secret.
507
00:24:17,681 --> 00:24:19,459
Marinated corn cob.
508
00:24:19,483 --> 00:24:20,563
Marinated...
509
00:24:21,885 --> 00:24:23,413
Marinated corn cob.
510
00:24:36,734 --> 00:24:39,813
Agarn! You've cured him!
511
00:24:39,837 --> 00:24:40,837
Wh...
512
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:43,950
Oh, sarge!
35457
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