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In the closing months of
the war between the states,
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00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:07,868
ultimate victory
has been reduced
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00:00:07,892 --> 00:00:09,436
to a question of supply.
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00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,888
Nowhere are shortages
felt more keenly
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00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,357
than in the headquarters tent
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00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,125
of a certain general
of the Union Armies.
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00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,994
Where's my laundry?
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00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,330
I'll, uh, send Parmenter
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00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,782
for it immediately, sir.
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00:00:21,806 --> 00:00:24,151
Wilton Parmenter,
Quartermaster Corps,
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00:00:24,175 --> 00:00:25,986
member of a proud
Philadelphia family
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00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:27,687
with great military traditions.
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00:00:27,711 --> 00:00:29,890
He, too, has found
a place to serve:
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00:00:29,914 --> 00:00:33,115
private in charge
of officer's laundry.
15
00:00:33,884 --> 00:00:35,712
And no starch!
16
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,747
Parmenter has come
through with the underwear
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00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:38,748
many times under fire.
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00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:39,966
An awesome responsibility.
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00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:42,302
But this time,
fate takes a hand.
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00:00:42,326 --> 00:00:44,888
An excess of
pollen fills the air.
21
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,773
Ke-char!
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00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,142
You heard him, men! Charge!
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00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:52,378
And so, within a matter of days,
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00:00:52,402 --> 00:00:53,897
victory came to
the Union forces.
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00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,900
And Wilton Parmenter,
Quartermaster Corps,
26
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,501
became a man of destiny,
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00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:01,288
the Scourge of Appomattox.
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00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,156
Members of the Parmenter family
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00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:04,758
assembled to observe
the ceremonies
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00:01:04,782 --> 00:01:06,793
honoring Wilton Parmenter.
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00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:10,630
Wilton's first cousin,
Major Achilles Parmenter.
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00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,098
His second cousin,
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00:01:12,122 --> 00:01:14,601
Lieutenant Colonel
Hercules Parmenter.
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00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:18,271
His uncle, Colonel
Jupiter Parmenter.
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00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:21,274
And his father, General
Thor X. Parmenter.
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00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,742
Heroes, all.
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00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:25,111
In splendid tradition, they
gathered here to pay honor
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00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:27,180
to another member of
the Parmenter family:
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00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:30,567
Wilton Parmenter, the
Scourge of Appomattox.
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00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,902
They watch proudly
as he stepped forward
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00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,271
to receive his just reward...
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00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,845
from a grateful country.
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00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,451
Promotion to captain,
the Medal of Honor...
44
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,993
and the Purple Heart.
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00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,729
He was the only soldier in
history ever to get a medal
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00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,531
for getting a medal.
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00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,667
Well, Parmenter, we've
got to find an assignment
48
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,685
befitting the Scourge
of Appomattox
49
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:08,054
Sir, they've gone through
three commanding officers
50
00:02:08,078 --> 00:02:09,155
at Fort Courage.
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00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:11,691
Two desertions and
a... nervous breakdown.
52
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:12,992
Fort Courage, eh?
53
00:02:13,016 --> 00:02:15,416
Ah, good thinking, Wormsbecker.
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00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,097
At a frontier post like that,
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00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:20,300
he might be just the
inspirational leader they need.
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00:02:20,324 --> 00:02:23,169
Captain Parmenter,
as of this moment,
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00:02:23,193 --> 00:02:26,490
you are the commanding
officer of F Troop.
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00:03:55,252 --> 00:03:56,252
Come in.
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00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:02,435
Oh, good morning,
sergeant, corporal.
60
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,454
Sir, Sergeant O'Rourke
and Corporal Agarn
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00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,789
reporting for duty.
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00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,990
Uh, F Troop is assembled for
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00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,458
the captain's first inspection.
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00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,310
Good. Good.
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00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,645
May I, sir?
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00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,184
Oh, yes. Yes.
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00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:15,932
Yeah.
68
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:19,703
Ah, thank you,
sergeant. Thank you.
69
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,571
Oh, just one moment.
70
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,872
I'd...
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00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,874
I'd like to hang up this
picture of my family.
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00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,665
We'd be honored, sir.
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00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,546
Ah, Major Achilles Parmenter,
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00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,616
Lieutenant Colonel
Hercules Parmenter,
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00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,601
Colonel Jupiter Parmenter,
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00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,002
General Thor Parmenter.
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00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:39,105
And now, Captain
Wilton Parmenter.
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00:04:42,332 --> 00:04:44,427
Uh, m-m-mickanawa what?
79
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,796
Oh, that's, uh,
Hekawi, sir. Uh, Indian.
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00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,633
It means, "Scourge of the West."
81
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,835
Oh, no. No, no. I was
never west before.
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00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,670
I wa... I was called the sc...
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00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,039
I'm afraid the captain's
reputation has preceded him.
84
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,340
It has? Oh, yes, sir.
85
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,808
Corporal Agarn.
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00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,376
Would you see that
the troop is ready
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00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,728
for the captain's inspection.
88
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,371
Oh.
89
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:15,246
Uh... "Reveille."
"Reveille"... Ah! Uh...
90
00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:19,946
Okay.
91
00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:21,247
Are... Are you hurt, sir?
92
00:05:21,271 --> 00:05:23,004
I'm all right, sergeant.
93
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,826
Ha. I-I fall down a lot.
94
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,440
You know...
95
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,275
You know, my... My
father used to say that...
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00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,212
That I had more left feet
than any kid in Philadelphia.
97
00:05:39,656 --> 00:05:41,735
Well, for a... For a
general, that's pretty funny.
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00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,569
Oh, yes.
99
00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:47,606
Sergeant...
100
00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:49,550
it's time for me
to take command.
101
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:04,890
All right, now,
let's look alive.
102
00:06:04,914 --> 00:06:06,326
It's all you have to do all day,
103
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:07,877
so let's do it right!
104
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,212
Svigson!
105
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:13,438
If you're awake, let
your face know about it.
106
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,723
Gravy stains,
Duddleson? Gravy stains?
107
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,267
Look at you! You're a mess!
108
00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,970
Forget it.
109
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,959
F Troop all present
and accounted for, sir.
110
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,282
Good work, corporal.
111
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,253
Men...
112
00:06:46,190 --> 00:06:47,838
you're in the army now.
113
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,022
I, uh...
114
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,486
have never heard
that put so well, sir.
115
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,649
Heh. Good. Good work, corporal.
116
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,051
Oh. Oh, uh, sergeant, I've
been meaning to ask you.
117
00:07:05,075 --> 00:07:06,886
How come we have
"Reveille" at 10:00?
118
00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:09,188
Now, back East, when I was
in the Quartermaster Corps,
119
00:07:09,212 --> 00:07:10,723
we had "Reveille" at 7.
120
00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:12,424
Yo, but that
captain is forgetting
121
00:07:12,448 --> 00:07:14,727
there's a... A three-hour
time difference.
122
00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:16,896
Of course.
123
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,197
Yes.
124
00:07:18,221 --> 00:07:19,821
Beg your pardon. Mm.
125
00:07:37,774 --> 00:07:40,486
Solider, you've got
a button missing.
126
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:43,122
Yes, sir. It's been
missing for over a month.
127
00:07:43,146 --> 00:07:45,124
Oh.
128
00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:47,026
Well... keep looking.
129
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,794
It's bound to be
around someplace.
130
00:07:48,818 --> 00:07:51,231
Mail call for Fort Courage!
131
00:07:51,255 --> 00:07:53,135
Pick it up at the trading post!
132
00:07:58,962 --> 00:08:00,423
Eh, troop dismissed.
133
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:30,820
Ashby.
134
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,821
Billy.
135
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,556
Fleischman.
136
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,525
Captain, I'd like
to present to you,
137
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,043
Miss Jane Angelica Thrift.
138
00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:39,245
Janey, this is Captain
Wilton Parmenter.
139
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,747
I'm happy to know
you, Miss Thrift.
140
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,782
Shucks. You just
call me Wrangler.
141
00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:43,850
Or Janey.
142
00:08:43,874 --> 00:08:45,919
I run the trading
post here in town.
143
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,588
Oh, we'll be seeing something
of each other, I imagine.
144
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,924
You can bet a bucket
of buzzards we will.
145
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,268
Here. This was right
on top of the heap.
146
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,428
Dispatch from Washington.
147
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:58,412
Oh. Well, what do you
suppose they want?
148
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,001
Oh, ser-sergeant,
149
00:09:03,025 --> 00:09:05,371
we've got to get things
straightened up around the post.
150
00:09:05,395 --> 00:09:06,572
Company's coming tomorrow.
151
00:09:06,596 --> 00:09:07,573
Oh?
152
00:09:07,597 --> 00:09:09,275
Yes, a Second Lieutenant Hawkes
153
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,210
from the Inspector
General's office.
154
00:09:11,234 --> 00:09:12,712
Darn it, I just got
here yesterday.
155
00:09:12,736 --> 00:09:14,046
Oh, well,
156
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,948
now, don't you worry
about a thing, captain.
157
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,551
We'll have everything as
slick as a greasy whistle.
158
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,594
Be seeing you around, captain.
159
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,492
Well, I'm sure the captain
wants to prepare himself
160
00:09:26,516 --> 00:09:27,594
for the inspection.
161
00:09:27,618 --> 00:09:28,828
The sergeant is right, sir.
162
00:09:28,852 --> 00:09:30,529
Well, I guess I could
go check my manual.
163
00:09:30,553 --> 00:09:32,699
It's bound to have something
in it about what you do
164
00:09:32,723 --> 00:09:34,166
with a second lieutenant. Yeah.
165
00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:36,140
Ah. Dobbs!
166
00:09:37,527 --> 00:09:39,556
From now on, you're
the captain's orderly.
167
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,624
He'll see you to your
quarters, captain.
168
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:44,128
Good. Good. Uh,
thank you, sergeant.
169
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:47,275
Right this way, captain.
170
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:51,940
Excuse me.
171
00:09:54,077 --> 00:09:56,656
And to think, that little
guy is a Parmenter.
172
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,424
I tell you, sarge,
he's the pigeon
173
00:09:58,448 --> 00:09:59,992
we've always dreamed of.
174
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,494
Yeah, and now we get him.
175
00:10:02,552 --> 00:10:04,363
"Scourge of the West."
176
00:10:04,387 --> 00:10:06,666
Man coming out from the
Inspector General's office,
177
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,668
that could be the end
of O'Rourke Enterprises.
178
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,069
Sending in those phony reports
179
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,538
about knocking off
two tribes in two weeks.
180
00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:15,475
Drawing rations for 30
men when we only got 17.
181
00:10:15,499 --> 00:10:17,409
I tell you something,
if that snoop finds out
182
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,078
how peaceful it
really is around here,
183
00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:21,080
they'll be no more Fort Courage.
184
00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:25,184
A hundred and five.
185
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,886
I think I'm gonna be sick.
186
00:10:26,910 --> 00:10:29,188
I am sick!
187
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,378
Come on!
188
00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:35,027
Huh.
189
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,296
Look at all this beautiful loot.
190
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,299
Arrows, quivers, bows,
shields, tomahawks.
191
00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:42,334
Two hundred
souvenir war bonnets.
192
00:10:42,358 --> 00:10:44,169
Four barrels of
perfumed war paint.
193
00:10:44,193 --> 00:10:47,106
What's the use in
counting all this stuff, sarge?
194
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,574
When that
lieutenant gets here...
195
00:10:48,598 --> 00:10:50,009
Hey, wait a minute!
196
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:52,444
Is that all the whiskey I got?
197
00:10:52,468 --> 00:10:54,246
Now, how do you
expect me to run a saloon
198
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,548
with a half a case of whiskey?
199
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,282
I told you, sarge.
Chief Wild Eagle says
200
00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:58,885
they need a copper
coil for the still.
201
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,219
All right, get one.
202
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,687
Tell supply it's something to...
203
00:11:01,711 --> 00:11:03,244
That'll repair the cannon with.
204
00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:06,392
What did you say?
205
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,393
The still's busted.
206
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,995
No! Who said it?
207
00:11:09,019 --> 00:11:10,496
Chief Wild Eagle.
208
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,498
Wild Eagle. Huh?
Oh, that's the answer.
209
00:11:12,522 --> 00:11:13,933
To what?
210
00:11:13,957 --> 00:11:16,402
Listen. I got rid of two
captains and a major, didn't I?
211
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:17,637
Yeah.
212
00:11:17,661 --> 00:11:19,972
Now, I ought to be able to
handle one nosy lieutenant
213
00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:21,774
from the Inspector
General's office.
214
00:11:21,798 --> 00:11:24,209
Uh, tonight, you
and I pay a visit
215
00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:26,278
to the bloodthirsty Hekawi.
216
00:11:37,346 --> 00:11:40,092
Wild Eagle, my brother.
217
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,729
You some brother.
218
00:11:43,753 --> 00:11:45,887
Still, still busted.
219
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:50,068
How you expect
Hekawi make firewater?
220
00:11:50,092 --> 00:11:52,571
We'll get you a new
coil. And when we do,
221
00:11:52,595 --> 00:11:54,573
stop holding out
liquor for the tribe.
222
00:11:54,597 --> 00:11:56,876
Indians ain't supposed
to drink alcohol.
223
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,844
Who says so?
224
00:11:58,868 --> 00:12:00,546
Everybody. Yeah.
225
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:02,681
Ah, that just nasty rumor,
226
00:12:02,705 --> 00:12:05,584
spread by sister-in-law,
Sparkling Water.
227
00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:09,911
She one big bluenose redskin.
228
00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:13,158
Bluenose redskin.
229
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,265
Wild Eagle make funny joke!
230
00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:23,335
Listen, W.E.
231
00:12:23,359 --> 00:12:24,603
There's a snoop lieutenant
232
00:12:24,627 --> 00:12:26,138
coming out here from Washington.
233
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,507
And we gotta convince him
we're having Injun trouble.
234
00:12:28,531 --> 00:12:29,909
So how about attacking the fort?
235
00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:31,009
Attack you? Yeah.
236
00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:32,344
You honorary Hekawi.
237
00:12:32,368 --> 00:12:33,813
No, chief, not a real fight.
238
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,280
We'll shoot over your heads,
239
00:12:35,304 --> 00:12:36,549
you shoot over ours.
240
00:12:36,573 --> 00:12:37,950
What are friends for?
241
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,553
Okay, look, I-I'll fire
the cannon as a signal,
242
00:12:40,577 --> 00:12:42,321
and you just run up
and make a lot of noise.
243
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:43,322
Nobody gets hurt.
244
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,458
You got wrong tribe, brother.
245
00:12:45,482 --> 00:12:48,727
Hekawis not fight.
Theys invent peace pipe.
246
00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:51,363
Hekawis not mad at nobody.
247
00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:53,365
Listen, Wild Eagle,
either you're gonna fight
248
00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:55,367
or you're gonna go back
to hunting and fishing.
249
00:12:55,391 --> 00:12:56,802
And weaving your own blankets!
250
00:12:56,826 --> 00:12:58,337
We fight. Ah.
251
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,205
Wait. What?
252
00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:02,007
How we fight?
253
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,809
Must do war dance first.
254
00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:04,977
All right, so do war dance.
255
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,579
Not remember war dance.
256
00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:07,869
Hekawi too peaceful.
257
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:13,185
Hey.
258
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:16,288
Any you boys remember war dance?
259
00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:21,193
See? Nobody remember war dance.
260
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,428
Hey, how about the medicine man?
261
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:26,353
Him big quack,
but I ask. All right.
262
00:13:28,157 --> 00:13:30,424
Hey! Roaring Chicken!
263
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,222
Somebody sick?
264
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,711
Need soup?
265
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,519
Come on double. We hold powwow.
266
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,740
Powwow?
267
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:52,975
What is "powwow?"
268
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,678
Oh, he's gonna be a lot of help.
269
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,079
Have a little respect, will you?
270
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,247
Why... he's old enough
to be your father.
271
00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:02,535
Him very old Eastern boy.
Come from good family in Ohio.
272
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,370
Doc.
273
00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:07,290
You ever see war dance?
274
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,924
Oh.
275
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,827
I see war dance many moons ago.
276
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,247
Many, many, many moons.
277
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,882
You and your moons.
278
00:14:15,906 --> 00:14:17,183
When?
279
00:14:17,207 --> 00:14:19,974
Forty-two years
ago, last August.
280
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,956
War dance very much like, um,
281
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:26,180
rain dance, only drier.
282
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,161
You run around fire.
283
00:14:29,185 --> 00:14:31,731
You jump up and down... Ah!
284
00:14:31,755 --> 00:14:33,666
Hm. And look savage.
285
00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:35,351
That ain't no war dance!
286
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,585
No?
287
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,487
No. Look, sarge,
288
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,289
you and the chief
get your signal straight
289
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,656
about the cannon.
290
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,859
I'll take the boys and show
them how to do a war dance.
291
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,067
All right, come on
you braves. Follow me.
292
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:55,988
Nice, bouncy four.
293
00:14:56,012 --> 00:14:59,558
One and two and
three and four...
294
00:15:04,854 --> 00:15:06,954
Come on, boys. What's the life?
295
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:20,200
Hear me, Shug warriors.
296
00:15:20,803 --> 00:15:21,781
No kill.
297
00:15:21,805 --> 00:15:23,783
Follow.
298
00:15:23,807 --> 00:15:25,684
They lead us to fort.
299
00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:27,619
Shugs attack.
300
00:15:27,643 --> 00:15:30,778
We kill... many paleface.
301
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,418
All right, now you
get this straight.
302
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,686
When them Hekawis attack,
you aim over their heads.
303
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,256
And if you shake loose
so much as one feather,
304
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,425
I'll transfer you
all to another outfit.
305
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,459
A fighting outfit.
306
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,460
Right.
307
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,001
Hey fellas, here
comes the inspector.
308
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,372
Troop... attention.
309
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,346
Present arms.
310
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,953
Lieutenant Jefferson
Hawkes reporting, sir,
311
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,643
on orders from the
Inspector General.
312
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:23,308
Put up... arms!
313
00:16:23,332 --> 00:16:24,326
Is this all of F troop?
314
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,694
Oh no, no.
315
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,830
No, uh, Franklin's
upstairs doing sentry duty.
316
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,715
We're pretty
military around here.
317
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:31,300
Would you like to
inspect the troop?
318
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,252
You draw rations and
pay allotments for 30 men.
319
00:16:33,276 --> 00:16:34,670
Where are the others?
320
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,121
Yeah, they're
out on, uh, patrol.
321
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,690
That's right. That's right.
322
00:16:37,714 --> 00:16:40,158
Uh, they've been out on that
patrol since before I got here.
323
00:16:40,182 --> 00:16:41,260
That's interesting.
324
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:43,362
How do they draw
their rations and pay?
325
00:16:43,386 --> 00:16:45,348
Oh, they're Indian scouts.
326
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,015
They sneak in during
the dead of night.
327
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,517
Sneak out before dawn.
328
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,751
Oh?
329
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:50,936
Oh.
330
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,271
Mm.
331
00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:54,940
Sir! The troops are waiting
to be dismissed. Mm.
332
00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:56,480
Good. You're dismissed.
333
00:16:58,584 --> 00:16:59,628
Come on, lieutenant,
334
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,132
I'll show you to your quarters.
335
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,350
Gee, I'm glad you're here.
336
00:17:05,374 --> 00:17:07,203
Maybe you and I can
have an officers' club.
337
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,461
Captain, I got this as a
welcoming present for you.
338
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:13,759
Put your initials on it myself.
339
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,784
Oh. Well, will you look at that?
340
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:19,064
Oh.
341
00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:21,967
This is nice and slippery
for a fast draw, see.
342
00:17:21,991 --> 00:17:23,686
Oh, thank you, Janey.
343
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,638
Gee, isn't that
something? Gorgeous.
344
00:17:25,662 --> 00:17:28,140
S-say, why... Why
don't we all go inside
345
00:17:28,164 --> 00:17:30,524
and have a nice chat?
346
00:17:33,202 --> 00:17:34,647
Who did that?!
347
00:17:34,671 --> 00:17:37,282
Oh, oh! Captain,
captain. My goodness.
348
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,151
There's an awful lot
of Indians out there.
349
00:17:39,175 --> 00:17:41,776
The ferocious Hekawis
are about to attack.
350
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,483
Injun attack.
351
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,816
Uh, uh... Uh, Dobbs,
blow the charge.
352
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,252
The attack. Uh...
Blow the bugle.
353
00:18:05,535 --> 00:18:07,479
What happened?
Nobody fired the cannon?
354
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,748
Oh, them dumb Hekawis.
They don't do anything right!
355
00:18:09,772 --> 00:18:10,871
Ahh!
356
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,311
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
357
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,746
You ain't supposed
to be in here!
358
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,314
The fight's outside
the other gate.
359
00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:28,522
Ah! "Kemano-shish
negood" yourself.
360
00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:32,326
And get the still fixed!
361
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,604
Yes. Indian attack...
362
00:18:47,777 --> 00:18:48,821
Yeah.
363
00:18:48,845 --> 00:18:51,140
Ah... Yeah. There, there, there.
364
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,650
Will you look at them Hekawis.
365
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,285
Like a bunch of wild Indians.
366
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,249
Hey, what are you trying
to do, kill somebody?
367
00:19:17,273 --> 00:19:19,384
Well, ain't that
the general idea?
368
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,137
Already got three of them.
369
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,071
What am I gonna tell the chief?
370
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,473
She'll wipe out the whole tribe.
371
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,608
Hey, uh, hold out now.
372
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,576
Cut out now, will
you, Wrangler, please?
373
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,600
Cut that out.
374
00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,803
Hopping horn toads!
375
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,250
Hey, they sure missed you close.
376
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:37,754
Some Hekawis are getting good.
377
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:42,074
What do you mean,
Hekawis? They're the Shugs.
378
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,776
The Shugs!
379
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,044
Commence firing.
380
00:19:45,068 --> 00:19:47,628
But for real. It's the Shug.
381
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,920
Dobbs, where's my sword?
382
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,984
It's right there in
the umbrella stand.
383
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:04,969
Oh, captain.
384
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,873
Charge!
385
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,064
Charge!
386
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:24,221
Captain!
387
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,690
Won't you need this part?
388
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,129
Hey, somebody get
that arrow out of there.
389
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,633
Yeah, I'll take
care of it, sergeant.
390
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,179
Whoa-oh!
391
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:56,520
Whoa!
392
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,309
Captain Parmenter, look out!
393
00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,657
Captain Parmenter!
Scourge of the West!
394
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:06,658
Run!
395
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,402
Hey, they're retreating.
396
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:20,839
The captain scared them off!
397
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,041
Ha-ha!
398
00:21:22,065 --> 00:21:24,009
Hooray!
399
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,170
Oh, yes, sir.
400
00:21:52,194 --> 00:21:54,673
We'll call them trophies
of the Shug War.
401
00:21:54,697 --> 00:21:57,909
Genuine Indian headdresses
taken in hand-to-hand combat.
402
00:21:57,933 --> 00:22:00,278
Tomtoms. Feels like tomtoms.
403
00:22:00,302 --> 00:22:01,580
We'll print a little booklet
404
00:22:01,604 --> 00:22:03,148
about the long and
bloody campaign.
405
00:22:03,172 --> 00:22:04,583
I can see it now.
406
00:22:04,607 --> 00:22:07,219
My War with the Shugs by
Morgan O'Rourke, as told...
407
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,822
Will you cut that
out. The battle's over.
408
00:22:09,846 --> 00:22:10,823
A hundred and seven.
409
00:22:10,847 --> 00:22:12,458
Have a ballad written.
410
00:22:12,482 --> 00:22:15,060
It'll be played in every saloon
west of the Mississippi River.
411
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:17,128
"The Legend of Morgan O'Rourke."
412
00:22:17,152 --> 00:22:19,297
Oh, we'll clean up. Hey,
make a note of that, Agarn.
413
00:22:19,321 --> 00:22:20,699
Get somebody who'll work cheap.
414
00:22:20,723 --> 00:22:23,435
Sarge. My heart. Feel my heart.
415
00:22:23,459 --> 00:22:24,436
Will you stop that?
416
00:22:24,460 --> 00:22:26,738
Now, Agarn, just
think for a minute.
417
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:29,274
In a few days, the
still will be finished.
418
00:22:29,298 --> 00:22:31,376
That snoop
lieutenant will be gone.
419
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,779
And O'Rourke Enterprises
will be back in business.
420
00:22:34,803 --> 00:22:35,780
Sarge. What?
421
00:22:35,804 --> 00:22:38,483
What happened to the Hekawis?
422
00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:39,984
That Shug arrow
you took in the hat
423
00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:42,153
must have gone
through your memory too.
424
00:22:42,177 --> 00:22:44,289
That's right. The cannon.
425
00:22:44,313 --> 00:22:46,525
Uh-huh. No signal,
no Hekawi attack.
426
00:22:46,549 --> 00:22:47,959
But now we're back in business.
427
00:22:47,983 --> 00:22:50,596
No more worries, no more cares.
428
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,231
With Captain Wilton Parmenter,
429
00:22:52,255 --> 00:22:54,575
the Scourge of the
West, in command.
430
00:22:56,024 --> 00:22:58,136
Hey we'll take inventory
tomorrow. Come on.
431
00:23:11,574 --> 00:23:12,784
Sergeant asked me
432
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,386
to give you this
report, captain.
433
00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:16,355
"Shugs lost 24 men.
434
00:23:16,379 --> 00:23:18,928
We got seven. And
Miss Wrangler got 17."
435
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,410
Well, uh, what did we loose?
436
00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:24,480
One ladder.
437
00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:27,149
Ah. And I busted my good sword.
438
00:23:27,173 --> 00:23:29,039
Hm. Five o'clock.
439
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,072
Why, don't you have
a retreat at this post?
440
00:23:33,096 --> 00:23:35,507
What? We won. Why should we...
441
00:23:35,531 --> 00:23:37,842
Oh, oh, oh. That
kind of retreat...
442
00:23:37,866 --> 00:23:39,078
Ta-taking down the flag.
443
00:23:39,102 --> 00:23:41,662
Let's go, Hannibal.
444
00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:47,569
Captain, I can't play retreat.
445
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:49,371
That's the one I don't
know how to play yet.
446
00:23:49,395 --> 00:23:51,090
What do you usually play?
447
00:23:51,114 --> 00:23:52,458
"Yankee Doodle," sir.
448
00:23:52,482 --> 00:23:54,125
Oh.
449
00:23:54,149 --> 00:23:56,294
Well, that's nice.
450
00:23:56,318 --> 00:23:58,769
You play that, and
I'll shoot the cannon.
451
00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:09,190
Captain, don't do that!
452
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:10,542
That's the signal.
453
00:24:10,566 --> 00:24:12,627
Don't fire the cannon.
It'll wreck everything!
454
00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:14,730
Here, captain, you don't
know what you're doing.
455
00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:16,231
Sorry, men, it's
time for retreat.
456
00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:18,021
Back!
457
00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:31,964
Captain! The
Hekawis are attacking.
458
00:24:31,988 --> 00:24:34,383
To the parapets. Charge!
29814
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