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1
00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:04,638
♪
2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,506
ANNOUNCER: The Raccoons
will be right back!
3
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,008
(Chuckling)
4
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:10,544
MAN: Hey, you ever
thought about taking drugs?
5
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:13,447
♪
6
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,882
GIRL: I don’t know.
7
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,850
Well, I never
really thought about it.
8
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,119
Think hard.
9
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,687
♪
10
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,789
The choice is yours.
11
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,057
What do you think?
12
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,059
Nah, this jerk’s
not worth the time!
13
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:29,129
♪
14
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:31,097
(Screaming)
15
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:32,633
MATT: Birdy, what
the hell was that?!
16
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,134
Are you having a nightmare?
17
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,602
Look at this!
18
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:36,971
What d’ya done to da couch?
19
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,239
I kicked it off, I got...
20
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:39,640
Is this what you like?
21
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,408
I’m trying to remember
when you were sick.
22
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:45,179
(Coughing)
23
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,714
(Blowing)
24
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,216
Why don’t we take
some medication?
25
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,251
Maybe I can-- Maybe I can
go to the corner store,
26
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,287
get you some... some drugs, man?
27
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,754
♪
28
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,590
Aah!
29
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,958
Quite a reaction.
30
00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,392
I’m not putting
any drugs in my body.
31
00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:01,728
I’m not turning into
a junkie... on the street.
32
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:02,963
A junkie on the street?
33
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,431
We’re talking about
Tylenol Cold & Flu.
34
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:05,598
I’m just saying no.
35
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:06,867
How else are you gonna recover?
36
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,502
I wanna do a nice effing plan!
37
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,737
Come on, let me just...
I wanna have a video game day.
38
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,639
You’re obsessed!
Video game day.
39
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:13,974
Your mom was right about you!
40
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:17,878
She warned me, "Oh, be careful.
Jay’s gonna go through the games
41
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,446
learning his
glitches and hacks!"
42
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,248
So what?
43
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,282
I’m sick.
44
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,053
Okay, sure.
45
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,256
Because you’re sick,
you get what you want.
46
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:30,390
Grey controller.
47
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,725
The best one.
48
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,227
Okay, how do I
hook this up again?
49
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,295
It’s pretty easy.
50
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,164
- First, power.
- Plug it in.
51
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,298
That’s not an extension cord.
52
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,100
Oh why, you think
there’s gonna be...
53
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,534
maybe some fluctuations? Ooh.
54
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,037
You’re messing up
the electricity!
55
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,237
I’m not messing up anything.
56
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:45,505
’Kay, give me a second here.
57
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,840
’Kay, so...
58
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:48,708
So video, white is the...
59
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,210
How ’bout you listen to
me tell you how to...
60
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:51,644
(Coughing)
...how to do it?
61
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:54,080
Video, L/Mono, R, Phone.
62
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,415
There’s three and three!
63
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,017
I know what they stand for.
64
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,051
R, C, A.
65
00:01:58,085 --> 00:01:59,920
Coordinate the colours together.
66
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,221
(Zapping)
Aah!
67
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,455
What are you doing?
68
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,924
- How are you getting shocked?
- You know what?
69
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,426
With no chitchat, it’d be
done in a... lickity-split.
70
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:10,764
I got it!
71
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:11,998
No...
72
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,534
(Coughing)
73
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,801
(Screaming)
74
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,004
- Oh, oh, Jesus!
- What are you doing?
75
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,338
Aah!
76
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,908
(Blowing)
77
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,876
Aah!
78
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,878
- Are they fried?
- You fried the RCAs!
79
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,112
I was the one who said
take some medicine!
80
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,280
Then you could’ve given
me better instructions!
81
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,381
They’re colour coordinated!
82
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,784
You were saying (Coughing)!
83
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,553
I’m sick!
84
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,456
Idiot!
85
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,593
Okay, I’ll go to A&C Games
and get new RCA cables for you.
86
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:41,995
And get-- get me some
candy or something.
87
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,163
Get some what?
88
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:46,399
Candy?
89
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,601
You’re really pushing it.
90
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,669
Go!
91
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,003
Okay.
92
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:53,807
(Panting)
93
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,542
(Door dinging)
94
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,277
Ah.
95
00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:00,180
Good & Plenty candy.
96
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,415
Cold-FX...
97
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:03,851
Yeah, something for a cold.
98
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,153
For an adult, yeah.
99
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,121
For an adult, except he
doesn’t like taking medication.
100
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,024
He’s very...
He’s very anti-drugs.
101
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,393
Do you have a
garbage back there?
102
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,231
No, ’cause I wanna
dump the candy out,
103
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,667
and I’m gonna replace it
with the... with the drugs.
104
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:24,705
Perfect.
105
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,039
Hi, how you doing?
106
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,708
Whoa, sorry man, hi.
107
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,543
(Panting)
108
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:32,145
Do you guys have RCA
cables for a Nintendo 64?
109
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,313
CLERK: Absolutely.
110
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,747
Thank you so much.
111
00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,619
GoldenEye Speed
Run Tournament...
112
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,057
The prize is a show...
113
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,560
winner will be invited to
appear on the Rivoli show.
114
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:47,994
Is that real?
115
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,764
Yeah, I don’t know
exactly what they are doing.
116
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,834
We just host them, we just
like have the space for it,
117
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,535
and then they are
running it back there.
118
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,137
What’s a speed run?
What is a speed run?
119
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,972
Doing something as fast
as humanly possible,
120
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,641
sometimes using
glitches and hacks
121
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,075
in order to get to the end.
122
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,744
(Zelda secret chime)
123
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:08,348
(Door slamming)
Bird!
124
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:11,951
I just got the most
incredible news of my life!
125
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,286
You got the RCA cables!
126
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,354
Here, get, uh...
127
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:15,889
I’ll hook it up this time!
128
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,858
Okay, I went into A&C Games
to try to get the RCA cables.
129
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,761
And I’m like okay,
yeah, paying, no problem.
130
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,696
Take out the cash,
gonna pay, look down,
131
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,097
something catches my eye: huh?
132
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,934
I look at this poster:
Bond, black and white.
133
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,802
He’s looking with
the gun out like this.
134
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,237
My interest is not piqued.
135
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,606
But as I often do,
I continued reading.
136
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,508
GoldenEye Speed Run Tournament.
137
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:37,077
Beat the whole game, the person
who finishes it the fastest
138
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,645
gets a show at the Rivoli!
139
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,213
What?
140
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,215
And then I’m thinking, "Who do
I know who’s good at GoldenEye?"
141
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,018
(Piano slamming)
You!
142
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,786
It’s a 64 game.
Nobody’s having a tournament--
143
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,188
I know it seems like one
of those crazy things,
144
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,389
I come home yelling
and you’re like,
145
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,090
"There’s no way I believe that!"
146
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,526
This time it’s true!
147
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,860
I did the whole thing:
pinched myself,
148
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,229
pretend to fly, is it a dream?
149
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,296
I’m in a dream!
150
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,731
Ask Jared. Remember?
151
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,132
I was saying why would you
be filming me in my dream?
152
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,400
Okay, fine, fine, fine!
153
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,235
Just... fine.
154
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:03,904
It doesn’t matter.
155
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,572
Look at me.
156
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,407
I’m totally sick, I’m useless.
157
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,409
I can’t play a tournament.
158
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,144
Doesn’t matter how good I am.
159
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,680
Sick...
160
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,716
(Rattling)
161
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,351
What’s that?
162
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,153
Oh, some candies
that I got for you.
163
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,923
It’s not a trick?
164
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,257
No.
165
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,065
What flavour is it?
166
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,534
That’s...
167
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,936
Good & Plenty.
168
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,974
(Crunching)
169
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,812
Mmm!
170
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:50,651
(GoldenEye theme)
171
00:05:50,684 --> 00:06:00,727
♪
172
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:18,979
♪
173
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,882
So we got Dossiers,
Mission, Files...
174
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,616
Okay, fir-- start
on stage one, Dam.
175
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:24,885
Oh, you’re already there. Dam.
176
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,653
- Got the Nintendo Power.
- I’m going.
177
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,221
(Beeping)
178
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,691
Okay, so the goal is beat the
entire game as fast as possible.
179
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:31,925
Yes, I understand!
180
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,260
Alright, and I’ll help you out.
181
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,662
So first of all, you wanna
run down this sort of
182
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:37,764
narrow passageway, and it looks
like there’s a green truck...
183
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,465
Oh, dude, you’re
already past it.
184
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:40,767
What the hell?
185
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,602
Goddamn he’s fast!
(Chuckling)
186
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,838
I’ve been training
for this my entire life.
187
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,306
I mean, if it’s not obvious,
188
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,974
this is the greatest plan
we’ve ever come up with.
189
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,743
Actually, wait a minute, we
didn’t even come up with a plan.
190
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,177
It’s like-- It’s
like the plan found us.
191
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,479
What’s it called,
manifest destiny?
192
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:53,780
- Manifest destiny.
- Manifest... It’s like...
193
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:56,816
God is smiling
down upon us today.
194
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,151
(Gunshot)
195
00:06:58,184 --> 00:06:59,385
It’s a day of miracles.
196
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,887
There’s no way you
don’t win this tournament.
197
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,090
I mean, at this point, basically
something would have to go
198
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,524
horrifically wrong.
199
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:05,825
Like we would’ve needed to
have overlooked something
200
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,695
unbelievably major, or a...
201
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,064
What’s it, a
wrench in the works?
202
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,067
(GoldenEye music)
203
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,368
Bird, what are you doing?
204
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,772
Okay, shoot--
shoot the lock, man.
205
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,573
Shoot the lock!
206
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,410
(GoldenEye music)
207
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,046
You know what, let’s just
take a quick five minute...
208
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,146
Take a break?
209
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,515
Rest-- Rest the eyes.
210
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,350
We just started!
211
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,285
What the hell is wrong with you?
212
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,256
(Sighing)
213
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,865
Uh, how many of those
candies did you have, Bird?
214
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,701
How many have you eaten?
215
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,036
These? I dunno.
216
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,271
Almost the whole box.
217
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,639
(Exhaling)
218
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,140
Uh, okay.
219
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,609
Remember this morning
when you said you--
220
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,743
you didn’t wanna take drugs?
221
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,011
I’m never gonna do drugs.
222
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,546
Right, heh.
223
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:02,048
If I ever did drugs, I would
never be able to forgive myself.
224
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,650
Uh...
225
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:04,884
If somebody else was involved,
I’d never forgive them either.
226
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,387
Okay, um...
227
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,389
Hey, I got an idea.
228
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,424
How about let’s do-- I know,
let’s do a quick rehearsal!
229
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,727
That’s a good idea.
230
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,404
(Clapping)
Right, speed up.
231
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,638
Oh, I know!
232
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,307
Let’s get a suggestion
from the audience, okay?
233
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,741
- Perfect.
- What’s a fast song?
234
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,110
Fast song...
235
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,112
"I wanna hear the X-Men
animated series theme song!"
236
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,446
Who said that?
I know that one.
237
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,682
Very fast song, let’s hit it!
238
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:39,385
Dun-na-na-na na na-na,
dun-na-na-na na na-na...
239
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,255
(Fast X-Men theme)
240
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,590
We got him back.
(Clapping)
241
00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,892
Okay, let’s get
some GoldenEye going.
242
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,094
(Slow X-Men theme)
243
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,396
Bird, no, remember?
244
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,797
(Clapping)
245
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,866
(Fast X-Men theme)
246
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,234
Dun-na!
247
00:08:54,267 --> 00:09:05,578
(Slow X-Men theme)
248
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,881
Dun-na-na-na!
249
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,515
The big run around, the...
250
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,321
(Slow X-Men theme)
251
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,488
Faster!
252
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,923
They’re-- They’re crying now.
253
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,692
The crowd-- The crowd’s crying!
254
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,227
They’re saying please!
255
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,863
This whole plan is gonna be
over unless you can speed it up!
256
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:32,973
(Slow X-Men theme)
257
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,775
(Piano slamming)
258
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,911
It did seem too good
to be true, didn’t it?
259
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,213
The Rivoli tournament.
260
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,982
We win, get the Rivoli show.
261
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,350
I mean, who am I kidding?
262
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,885
Maybe I did dream that.
263
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:48,054
He-- He-- He-- This is absurd!
264
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:51,024
I didn’t even know
cold meds could do this.
265
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,258
Right?
266
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:55,261
It makes no sense on any level!
267
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:58,631
What he needed was--
Imagine the candy gave him...
268
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,934
(Chuckling)
...energy.
269
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:12,745
♪
270
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,915
♪ You know I smoke
a lot of grass ♪
271
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,684
How you doing?
Looking to buy some speed.
272
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,055
Speed? You got speed?
Selling speed?
273
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,591
No, I’m in the
middle of something.
274
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,660
I’m trying to find
some speed from somebody.
275
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,499
Right.
276
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:38,804
Right, okay, the
speed’s not for me though.
277
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,273
It’s actually for a friend.
278
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,674
I’m trying to speed him up
for a video game tournament.
279
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,343
Oh, no, literally
it’s not for me.
280
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,510
No, I’m not kidding.
281
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,079
I know maybe I seem
like a drug addict,
282
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,548
but I’m actually just buying it
so that I can fool my friend
283
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,583
into winning a
GoldenEye tournament.
284
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,387
Yeah, you know GoldenEye 64?
You ever played it?
285
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,722
Yeah, so they’re
having one at A&C Games.
286
00:10:58,625 --> 00:10:59,693
This’ll be--
287
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,063
We’ve had issues
with that before.
288
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,297
It put him right to sleep.
289
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,632
That’s the issue we’re
dealing with right now.
290
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,668
You too, nice to meet you.
Wish us luck!
291
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,237
Phew.
292
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,106
Um, looking for some speed.
293
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:17,711
You-- You have some?
294
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,080
Yeah, you got--
295
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,851
Sure, sure.
296
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,591
Can we do 200?
297
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,861
Okay, so now what?
I just give you the money?
298
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,297
Okay.
299
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,565
I’m Matt, nice to meet you.
300
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:39,766
There you go.
301
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,736
Yeah, I won’t.
302
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:43,837
Perfect, thanks a lot.
303
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,273
Okay, here we go.
Bird, this way.
304
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,975
Ugh, I’m just feeling
I’m getting sick again.
305
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,142
How you doing, man?
306
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,681
(Chattering)
307
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,382
Bird, this way, come on.
308
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,685
- We are gonna register.
- Cool, go for it!
309
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,120
- Thank you very much.
- Yeah, no problem.
310
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:05,091
(Chattering)
311
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,125
Hey, how you doing?
312
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,495
Hey, is this to sign up
for the GoldenEye tournament?
313
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,469
WOMAN: Everybody back there
ready for some GoldenEye?
314
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:19,139
(Clapping)
315
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,641
Alright guys, so hey,
it’s RWhiteGoose here.
316
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,410
I’m here to pilot you all
watching on the stream
317
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:28,114
through this amazing race we
have here at A&C Games today.
318
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,216
Hey, are we late?
319
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,051
Hurry up, man!
320
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:33,620
Is there space for one more
to join the tournament?
321
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,357
$15 from (Bleep) Paler.
322
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,425
"I lost my boyfriend to cancer.
323
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,494
Time to get revenge,
kill the animals."
324
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:43,562
Uh, terribly sorry to hear that.
325
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,364
Okay, so remember
what we’re doing?
326
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:46,900
GoldenEye tournament.
327
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,435
Hey, remember what
we’re doing here?
328
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,136
Matt, I think I’m
too tired for this.
329
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,806
Okay, well, that’s
too bad because...
330
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,741
got a couple more candies.
331
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,143
(Pills clinking)
332
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:58,511
What flavour are they?
333
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:03,816
This is... uh...
334
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,118
You know what-- Juicy Fruit?
335
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,185
What?
336
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,353
Exactly.
337
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,722
(Pills clinking)
338
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,590
Yeah, we’re ready to
get going here, I guess.
339
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:11,858
I’ll just be waiting over there.
340
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,359
Good luck.
(Exhaling)
341
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,928
Just trying to think, what
if... you think that they’d...
342
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,462
Ehn, we’ll see what happens.
343
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:21,601
Alright, so I’m seeing the
official’s giving me the...
344
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:25,571
the okay to start the race,
so all the runners are ready.
345
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,074
Okay, we’re gonna start
with a countdown from five.
346
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:31,410
And everyone is on-- everyone’s
on the start page here.
347
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,779
We’re gonna count from five.
348
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,114
Five, four...
(Crunching)
349
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,652
...three, two, one...
(Revving sound)
350
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:39,653
...go.
351
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,688
(GoldenEye music)
352
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:45,525
(Gunshots)
353
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:49,062
So we’re right out of the
gate, and it looks like...
354
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,698
it looks like The Bird
is in the lead.
355
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,299
Got off to a good start
here on the Dam.
356
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,369
Ooh!
357
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,404
It looks like the others in
the race are a little bit
358
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,240
far behind, having
trouble with the gates.
359
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,243
But Goldenguy and The Bird seem
to have a really good grasp of
360
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,911
how to play Dam, so...
361
00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:07,046
Man, who’s saying drugs are bad?
362
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:08,548
What was they saying?!
363
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,549
What was that Fresh
Prince episode about,
364
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:12,017
trying to say
that it’s not good?
365
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:14,020
Carlton is...
366
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,988
Look at him! Look at him go!
367
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,390
Yes, Bird!
368
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,525
You wanna cut through
the guards almost like
369
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,661
cutting through butter
with a hot knife.
370
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,095
Just use your gun like a knife.
371
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,301
Alright, moving here
through the train level.
372
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:29,969
One of the more
complicated levels.
373
00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:31,637
This is-- No, the
Rivoli show the sh--
374
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,540
It’s a show for bands,
for musicians.
375
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,875
We’re-- We’re a band.
376
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,114
Yeah, quite badly.
377
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,448
(Chuckling)
378
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,851
So we’re gonna watch the...
379
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,019
the players probably
kill a lot of guards.
380
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:51,291
The Bird is the... The Bird...
has he stopped playing for...
381
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,393
Looks like he stopped
for one second or so
382
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,395
to let go of his strafe
buttons, but it looks like
383
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,498
Goldenguy is now ahead by a
few seconds, 3 to 5 seconds.
384
00:14:58,531 --> 00:14:59,766
What?
385
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,268
Goldenguy is safely
through saving Natalya
386
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:03,702
and out the train.
387
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,139
Um, this is absolutely massive.
388
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,541
Goldenguy is now ahead, Bird...
389
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,009
- Okay, dude...
- We got it, man.
390
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:11,744
That guy over there is
beating you, he’s like a full--
391
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,546
Doesn’t matter, I’m the
fastest mother(Bleep)er
392
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:14,880
in the world right now.
393
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:15,882
Just watch this.
394
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,450
Uh, okay, we need a new plan.
395
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,685
It’s a day of miracles.
396
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:19,919
I woke up sick, and
then I got healthy!
397
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,454
Yeah, I’m just trying--
398
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,890
Then you burned the RCA cables,
then you got new RCA cables
399
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,224
and you found out
about the tournament!
400
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:28,261
(Blowing)
401
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,796
Now I’m gonna win
the tournament.
402
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,098
Then we’re gonna have a show,
and then you and I are gonna
403
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,766
have a nice, happy
life together.
404
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,435
Did you say we’re gonna
have a happy life together?
405
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,370
- I’m just excited.
- I’ll be right back.
406
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,206
I... have... an... idea.
407
00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:44,009
(GoldenEye theme)
408
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:51,717
♪
409
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,686
You guys don’t have
any scissors here, do ya?
410
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:57,990
Goldenguy is just coming
to the end of Caverns here.
411
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:01,594
Just about to go through
the doorway and start Cradle.
412
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,662
The lead does
look insurmountable,
413
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,298
but Cradle will be the tell.
414
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,300
We’ll see if Goldenguy
can bring this home.
415
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,335
(Scoffing)
416
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:24,083
♪
417
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,884
It’s (Bleep)ing
freezing in here!
418
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,059
Oh yes, oh yes!
419
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,193
What was it?
420
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,996
Red wire, yellow wire...
421
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,164
White, white, white!
422
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,504
Goldenguy is still
holding onto that massively.
423
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:45,605
Fuck!
424
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,073
Really clean headshot there.
425
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,308
This is over in like
15 seconds from now.
426
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:52,044
It’s red. The scissors are red.
Scissors are red...
427
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,713
(Slowed) Hey, listen to me.
428
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,748
How about you listen
to me tell you how...
429
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,750
(Coughing)
...how to do it?
430
00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,252
Goldenguy is 10 seconds
away now from ending this.
431
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,420
Hold up the yellow one.
432
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:04,390
That’s your video.
433
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,492
(Whimpering)
434
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:11,331
Five, four, three, two...
435
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,733
♪
436
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,669
Uh, it looks like I lost...
we lost his feed?
437
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,170
We lost Goldenguy’s feed?
438
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,609
The Bird is defeating
Trevelyan here.
439
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,978
The Bird... The Bird
is killing Trevelyan.
440
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,147
I’ve heard... It sounds like
Goldenguy’s console is dead?
441
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:31,316
Is he getting...
The Bird is done!
442
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:34,453
The Bird is...
Has The Bird won the race?
443
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,723
Okay, shh, shh, shh, shh!
444
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,491
I’m gonna go talk to
the guy, get the prize.
445
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:39,992
Just be quiet for now, okay?
446
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:42,362
That was-- I’ve never seen
anything-- That was incredible.
447
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,030
That was absolutely insane!
448
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,666
- Congratulations.
- Thank you so much.
449
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,203
Hey, okay, but
what do you mean?
450
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,472
What do you mean, on your show?
451
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,908
Are you a musician?
452
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,082
Uh, okay, I’m
completely confused.
453
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,250
I... Your podcast?
454
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,028
So you’ll...
455
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,230
So you spell it Rival...
456
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,732
The number one, numeral.
457
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,167
And I...
458
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,070
It was a reading
error on my part.
459
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:26,572
The one...
460
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,908
Yes, thank you.
461
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,609
Hey, Jay, um...
462
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:33,612
Jay?
463
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:37,583
Jay?
464
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,918
Hey, Jay, what are you doing?
465
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,152
Bird?
466
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,354
Jay?
467
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,793
Oh, fuck.
468
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,196
(Slowed) What does happen
if you take too much speed?
469
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,533
Over-amp?
470
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,738
(Echoing) Explodes,
explodes, explodes...
471
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,740
Oh no, Jay!
Oh no, fuck, Jay!
472
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,375
Jay, Jay, Jay!
473
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:05,544
Oh no, oh no no no no no!
474
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,680
Yeah, hey, I have an
emergency at A&C Games.
475
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,649
My friend is I thinking
having a drug overdose...
476
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:16,122
(Aerith’s theme)
477
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,289
WOMAN: Great job, guys,
478
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,125
for that fantastic
speed run of GoldenEye.
479
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:27,567
(Sombre Fresh Prince music)
480
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:40,446
(Beeping)
481
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:42,114
(Burping)
482
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,251
Jay, Bird!
483
00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:47,453
Hey, hey, hey, you alright?
484
00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:48,654
What happened?
485
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,822
You’re... You’re in a hospital.
486
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,357
- Um...
- What?
487
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,960
What happened to me?
488
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,461
Yeah, that’s
what’s got me confused.
489
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:56,996
I must’ve blacked out.
490
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,397
Well, you passed out, and then
the doctors here are saying
491
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:00,466
that you... some kind of
drug overdose or something.
492
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:02,968
It’s not a drug overdose.
493
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,270
I don’t take drugs,
you know that.
494
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:05,571
That’s what they’re saying.
495
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,773
I said no way, my
friend is not taking drugs.
496
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,075
Did you tell ’em that?
497
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,710
I was-- I went to
bat for you, and then--
498
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,245
So the joke’s on them.
499
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:13,579
Then they did the stomach
pump, and they were like--
500
00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:14,880
What? Hold on, wait, what?
501
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:15,948
I had to sign a fucking thing.
502
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,716
Why’d you let them
pump my stomach?
503
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,385
Well, ’cause they said
otherwise you’re gonna die.
504
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:20,452
Oh (Bleep)!
505
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:21,687
And it wasn’t through--
506
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,122
See, I thought it was
gonna be simple, like--
507
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,523
Ah (Bleep)!
508
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:27,193
Is there a doctor or a
nurse or someone, please?!
509
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:29,294
Okay, listen, let me tell
you what happened, alright?
510
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,696
I...
511
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,166
I switched the candy that
you were eating for speed.
512
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,135
I gave you drugs.
513
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,540
You son of a bitch.
514
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,209
I’m sorry, man.
515
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:45,778
(Gasping)
516
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,717
I’m sorry, man!
517
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,021
Come here.
518
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:05,964
(Bird chirping)
519
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,199
Aah!
520
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:09,235
(Laughing and cheering)
521
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:10,669
♪
522
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,339
So there’s this
one famous story, um,
523
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:17,176
the story about these-- a
couple named Sam and Tolki.
524
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,877
A Mormon couple,
18, 19 years old.
525
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,246
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
526
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,048
The wife, Tolki, she starts
drinking and partying...
527
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:24,250
(Whistling)
528
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,451
...and Sam, the husband,
does not like this.
529
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:26,986
What, Mormon? That’s
not even allowed, is it?
530
00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:28,520
No.
531
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:32,491
So I believe at one point Sam
went to go commentate a run,
532
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,027
sit on a couch for a friend.
533
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,361
Oh no.
534
00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:39,031
And Tolki got freaky with
a Banjo-Kazooie runner,
535
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:41,466
Stivitybobo, and this caused
536
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,802
an endless firestorm of
drama in the community.
537
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:45,671
What are some of these
other people doing in here?
538
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:50,610
It’s a-- It’s a
music studio, man.
539
00:21:50,676 --> 00:21:51,844
I think they’re working.
540
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:54,213
- Like music jobs, like--
- Yes, man.
541
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:55,781
Like jingles and
commercial music and film music?
542
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,383
Music is a big industry.
543
00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:01,086
It’s like a multi-billion dollar
industry I think, probably.
544
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,255
Maybe trillions, I don’t know.
Could be a lot of money!
545
00:22:03,289 --> 00:22:04,590
(Snickering)
546
00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:05,757
You know, think about it.
547
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:08,093
How much do these
artists make, you know?
548
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:10,129
Billions!
549
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,563
(Laughing)
550
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:13,665
Do musicians work here!
(Laughing)
551
00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:22,541
♪
38180
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