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1
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:15,182
(Siren blaring)
2
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,187
So basically it’s hard
because I’ve only figured out
3
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,823
how to do like a double... flip.
4
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,892
But in order to be, like,
truly cool with devil sticks,
5
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:28,028
you have to get... triple.
6
00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:29,396
Sorry.
7
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,601
(Bike bell dinging)
8
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:50,650
Jay?
9
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,389
Oh my god.
10
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,260
Jay!
11
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,428
(Sighing)
12
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,598
So, Matt had never
seen Star Wars before.
13
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,933
Star Wars!
14
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,602
A long time ago...
15
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:09,870
Alright, MJ, sit back, man.
16
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,238
Shut the fuck up, man.
17
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,240
(Star Wars theme playing)
18
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,241
Whoa!
19
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:15,575
No!
20
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,577
What?!
21
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,112
(Lasers blasting)
22
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:19,446
(Explosion)
23
00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:24,150
♪
24
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:25,152
No, no...
25
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:27,387
(Laughing)
26
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,490
How you doing, you old pirate?
27
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,025
Aw!
28
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,026
I hate you.
29
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:33,827
Episode VI, Jay!
30
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:34,828
You wanna turn it
off for like one--
31
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:35,962
Get your hand off me, dude.
32
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,063
I can’t see.
33
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,533
♪
34
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,034
- Yeah!
- Yahoo!
35
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,236
Jay?
36
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,570
Are the lights on in this house?
37
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,674
♪
38
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:47,941
(Laughing)
39
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,009
You burned your eyes right out!
40
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,010
I overdid it!
41
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,178
So wait, what did they say?
42
00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:52,779
Forty-eight hours, they said.
43
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,281
- Of blindness?
- Of blindness, yeah.
44
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,348
Jesus, Matt.
45
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:56,550
And then I’m good as new.
46
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,885
(Gasping)
What’s that?
47
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,352
It’s just a skateboarder.
48
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:00,487
(Skateboard noise)
49
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,721
Did he do a move?
50
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:02,889
A really funky looking
skateboarder, actually.
51
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,591
I’m sorry you
didn’t get to see that.
52
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,326
How funky are we talking?
53
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,430
Poncho, weird hat,
longboard, yellow wheels.
54
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:11,631
Wicked!
55
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:12,799
No, Matt, shut up!
56
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,735
We’re coming off as
like really uncool.
57
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,036
What do you mean, uncool?
58
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:17,804
Look at those
(Bleep)ing glasses.
59
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:20,640
Oh my god.
60
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,176
Look at you!
61
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,944
Look at your jeans.
62
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,947
(Bleep)ing hat.
63
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,617
Wha--
64
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,718
How is The Rivoli ever
gonna take us seriously
65
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,319
if you keep pulling
(Bleep) like this?
66
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:34,988
Star Wars show.
67
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,394
(Siren blaring)
68
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:41,862
Yeah, Star Wars
is cool right now.
69
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:44,765
We go to them with the Nirvanna
The Band Star Wars Show.
70
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,300
Oh, I have convinced you?
71
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,734
Well, I’m putting it together.
72
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,737
It’s a good idea, but it
has to be done tastefully.
73
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,405
Tastefully, yes,
absolutely, and you know what?
74
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:52,572
And it’s gotta be cool.
75
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,741
Jay, hey, talking
about cool, Mr. Cool.
76
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,244
Well, plus, I play a
pretty good Han Solo.
77
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,445
Now who’s cool?
78
00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,546
Alright, high five!
79
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,315
You’re gonna have
to just hit my hand.
80
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,653
Excellent!
81
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,689
(Laughing)
82
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:20,200
♪
83
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:34,281
♪
84
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,149
(Piano playing)
85
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:39,720
Tonight, at The Rivoli,
Nirvanna The Band will be
86
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:44,557
reprising Star Wars Episode
VII in a live musical act!
87
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,526
You will see it all!
88
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,296
The guy with the
cross light sabre!
89
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:50,730
And then right-- so right
from here, and then--
90
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,599
You know what we could use
as light sabres for this?
91
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:53,766
The devil sticks.
92
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,235
(Sighing)
93
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,103
Birdie, give me
the devil stick.
94
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,338
Devil sticks...
95
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,974
(Slowed down) Can only
do it on the wet spots.
96
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,408
And a double flip.
97
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:03,677
(Laughing)
98
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,613
Very cool, buddy.
99
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,380
(Bike bell dinging)
100
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:10,383
(Dramatic music)
101
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,818
Birdie?
102
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,487
Bird?
103
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,855
- Yeah, uh...
- So we--
104
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,423
No, I-- I don’t think
we can use the devil sticks.
105
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,691
What do you mean we
can’t use the devil sticks?
106
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:18,858
I think we lost them.
107
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,927
You lost them how?
Up your ass?
108
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,463
(Laughing)
109
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,698
Was that really funny?
110
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,399
It felt like it was
so stupid to say.
111
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,534
- It was pretty funny.
- Really?
112
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:28,902
But yeah, unfortunately...
113
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,303
That got you laughing?
114
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,272
Hmm, noted.
115
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,340
Use "up your ass"
as a punchline.
116
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,142
(Piano playing)
117
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:39,946
Um, and maybe we could
have the N64 onstage.
118
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,715
No, let’s just stay
to like something...
119
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,617
classy and musical.
120
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,051
’Cause what are people
really gonna wanna see?
121
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,486
It’s a live show of Star Wars.
122
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,654
They wanna see the fighting.
123
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:48,855
Oh, how are we gonna do the...
124
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,257
Real cool, buddy.
125
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,758
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
126
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,226
Where’s the music?
127
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,394
Give me some, like--
(Notes blaring)
128
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,195
Oh, yeah!
129
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,764
And then we’d
wanna do explosions.
130
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,067
Maybe we throw confetti up in
the air or something like that.
131
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,536
What do they do in that
movie Ernest Goes To Jail?
132
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,971
They do explosions very well
in that film, don’t they?
133
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,640
I love that movie.
134
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:09,009
You know, people say it’s
just for kids and it’s not cool.
135
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,144
Actually, there’s a lot
of adult themes in it.
136
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,547
Also, Ernest was not afraid
of the transvestite thing,
137
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:15,115
even back then.
138
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,184
He actually predated
Mrs. Doubtfire
139
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,020
in a lot of important ways.
140
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,555
You go back and
watch Mrs. Doubtfire,
141
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,557
it’s actually a
very transphobic film.
142
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,725
Um, there’s the scene
where the son is saying,
143
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,728
"We’re gonna throw you in
jail for having a penis."
144
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,429
Ernest was not like that.
145
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:30,964
Ernest was quite...
146
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,199
Wha-- Jay, what was that?
147
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:33,366
I was...
148
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,735
You’re doing something funny!
149
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,770
There’s some funny
business happening here!
150
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:37,804
- No I’m not.
- Yes!
151
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,173
Ah! What’s this?
152
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,173
No, I’m good, I’m good!
153
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,775
No, I know what’s going on!
154
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,643
You got a little--
you’re rummaging around!
155
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,445
You have a little
effing little trick!
156
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,813
And you think I
haven’t figured it out?!
157
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,182
No, I-- No!
158
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,818
You are putting together
a secret Star Wars costume!
159
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,120
You little scamp!
160
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,087
What do you mean, a costume?
161
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,222
For tonight!
162
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,890
You’re making your
own special costume!
163
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,391
- Wha...
- You little butt!
164
00:05:58,425 --> 00:05:59,927
Oh, you little frigger!
165
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,062
Wait, people go to Star Wars
in Star Wars costumes?
166
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,296
Yes, everyone
will be in costume,
167
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,199
and the coolest costume
will be the coolest guy!
168
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,769
Wh-- What are you going as?
169
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:09,903
Actually, know what?
170
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,137
Don’t tell me,
it’ll be a surprise.
171
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,305
But--
(Knocking)
172
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,807
Ah!
173
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,244
Yep.
174
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,513
- Is it a package?
- Package?
175
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:21,982
This is it?
176
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,884
Hey, thanks a lot, man.
177
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,286
- Thank you.
- Bye.
178
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:28,488
What is it?
179
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:29,856
Sure, she may not
look like much,
180
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,492
but she’s got it
where it counts.
181
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,026
I got a Han Solo costume.
182
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,394
Whoa, where did you get this?
183
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,428
I ordered it online.
184
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,530
I’m gonna find the best part.
185
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,199
You have Han’s blaster?
186
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,768
(Humming Star Wars theme)
187
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,236
What the fuck?
How do I open this?
188
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,338
(Laser noises)
189
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,106
Holy (Bleep),
it makes the sound?!
190
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,607
I’m gonna need your
help to get dressed.
191
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,143
Jay?
192
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:50,977
Hello?
193
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,179
- Jay!
- What?
194
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,346
You got your own costume!
195
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:54,481
Come on, give me these back.
196
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:55,882
You gotta help me get dressed.
197
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,017
What?
198
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,485
Well, I can’t see
the costume, right?
199
00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:02,489
So you gonna have to put
my clothes on for me, right?
200
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,691
I have-- I have no idea how
this is supposed to look,
201
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:07,660
so you have to put it on
me as my friend, okay?
202
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,430
(Slowed down) Well, I can’t
see the costume, right?
203
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,966
You gonna have to put
my clothes on for me.
204
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,368
(Star Wars music)
205
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:15,702
Everyone’s gonna be in costume.
206
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:18,805
And the coolest costume
will be the coolest guy!
207
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:20,173
♪
208
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,109
I play a pretty good Han Solo.
209
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,577
(Darth Vader theme)
210
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,946
You can go as - Han Solo
- then - you’re - cool!
211
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:26,980
Mr. Cool.
212
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:31,784
♪
213
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:34,087
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi,
you’re my only hope.
214
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:43,463
♪
215
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,298
NEWS ANCHOR: We’re just
hours away from the opening
216
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:48,235
of The Force Awakens in
North American theatres,
217
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,771
but the excitement’s been in
hyperdrive for months now.
218
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,873
It’s true, all of it.
219
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,843
Roger Peterson’s back
at the Scotiabank Theatre.
220
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,845
Roger.
221
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:01,214
These guys are just
looking so good right now!
222
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,316
Course, this is the
thing we’re talking about.
223
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,085
Everybody’s talking
about The Force Awakens
224
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,553
and just how much...
225
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:07,921
Okay, just turn this way.
226
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,422
You gotta take my hand, dude.
227
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:10,424
I don’t wanna hold your hand.
228
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,925
I look too cool right now.
229
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,427
(Background chattering)
230
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,096
Okay, what else--
what else is going on?
231
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,998
You are best dressed, my friend.
232
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,799
How close is the next
best person dressed?
233
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,635
Uh...
234
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,136
Darth Vader is
right in front of you.
235
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,504
Oh, I just stepped on his cloak.
236
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:26,039
Sorry about that, sorry.
237
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,240
Let’s go get some popcorn maybe.
238
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:28,775
- Yeah, I’m going!
- Hi!
239
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,043
Nice to see you, ol’ buddy!
240
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,210
Hey, Lando, yeah!
241
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,412
Oh, Lando Calrissian?
242
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:33,579
You old scoundrel!
243
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,550
Hey, you want the Falcon back,
but I won it fair and square!
244
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:38,885
I’m Han Solo.
245
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,219
No.
246
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,454
What do you mean?
247
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,190
No, ’kay, let’s go get
some popcorn, some soda.
248
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:44,924
- Lando!
- Nice to meet you.
249
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,526
Hey, don’t freeze me
in carbonite and
250
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:47,994
sell me out to the Empire!
251
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,530
Lando, you betrayed me, man!
252
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,132
Absolutely, of course!
253
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,202
Did you get it?
254
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,738
Yeah!
(Laughing)
255
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,039
We got it.
256
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,173
I’m still smiling.
It’s done?
257
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,542
Thanks, it’s...
thank you, thank you.
258
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:03,876
Well, she may not
look like much,
259
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,211
but she’s got it
where it counts!
260
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,546
Thanks for doing this,
by the way, because...
261
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:08,314
She’ll do point five,
that’s past light speed.
262
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,883
My friend’s been bothering
me all day with being blind,
263
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:12,085
and I gotta tell ya, it’s
been a nightmare dealing with
264
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,454
the whole costume thing all day.
265
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,789
It’s really nice of you
to like take him out.
266
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,425
Yeah, it is!
267
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,593
He’s my best friend.
268
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:21,962
- Awww!
- Yeah.
269
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,030
- Where are you sitting?
- Um...
270
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,533
That’s it, that’s it, sit down.
271
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,034
- I’m at it?
- Yeah.
272
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,137
(Giggling)
273
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,506
Oh yeah.
274
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,740
Is it busy?
275
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:34,774
The theatre’s packed, huh?
276
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,576
Oh, absolutely.
277
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,845
(Music blasting)
278
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:40,580
Whoa!
279
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:44,784
(Music blasting)
280
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:52,492
(Cheering)
281
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,027
(Star Wars theme playing)
282
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,329
MATT: Star Wars!
283
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:56,896
Oh, yes, yes!
284
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,665
Star Wars!
285
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,567
(Laughing)
286
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:01,834
Woo!
287
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,070
JAY: Star Wars, Episode VII.
288
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,606
(Laughing)
289
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,175
The Force Awakens.
290
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,910
- Can’t hear you.
- The Force Awakens!
291
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,678
- What do you mean?
- Listen.
292
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,580
- Luke Skywalker has vanished.
- No!
293
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,583
In his absence, the
sinister First Order...
294
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,485
- What’s the First Order?
- I don’t know, the...
295
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:19,986
Louder, louder!
296
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,489
The sinister First Order is
risen-- risen from the ashes
297
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,291
of the Empire and will not
rest until Skywalker,
298
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,494
the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.
299
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,297
Sorry, my friend’s blind.
300
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,464
General Leia...
301
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,233
(Music playing)
302
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,535
- Okay, slow pan down.
- Okay, from what?
303
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,036
- Space.
- Uh-huh.
304
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,605
Okay, now a planet and a moon.
305
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:39,772
That’s no moon!
306
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,775
Excuse me, I told you,
my friend is blind!
307
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,677
I need to explain to him
what’s going on the screen!
308
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,046
Without the Jedi...
309
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,147
’Kay, now there’s an old man.
310
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,314
Yeah, I know, but
what’s he look like?
311
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,415
What does he look like?
312
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,319
Listen, I don’t want
to talk the whole movie,
313
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,453
but my friend can’t see.
314
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:55,922
We have no choice, I’m blind!
315
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:57,990
(Yelling)
316
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,492
- They’re being offensive.
- Explain to me--
317
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,064
What? We’re getting kicked out?
318
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:05,798
Well, these guys are
being just as loud as us.
319
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,008
Why don’t you let us all stay?
320
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,743
(Clapping)
321
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,879
(Yelling)
322
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,748
I’m gonna talk to
the guy, don’t worry.
323
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,249
Excuse me, sir, these guys
were being bullies to us.
324
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,651
Well, no, let me talk to them!
I’ll go and talk to them.
325
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:27,988
What’s he mean?
326
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,422
Yeah, yeah, we’re going.
327
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,992
Well, that’s it.
328
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,795
Another plan
completely down the drain.
329
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,232
Yeah, another plan wrecked.
330
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:41,867
This is...
331
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,369
This is completely my fault.
332
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,206
- You know what?
- It’s okay, it’s fine.
333
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,540
I’ll make it up to you.
334
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,676
I’ll tell you what: you
take the Han Solo blaster,
335
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,944
and you can have
it on the way out.
336
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:53,012
No, no, don’t worry
about it, it’s fine.
337
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,748
- No, I’m giving you the blast--
- No, no, no!
338
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:03,856
(Suspicious music)
339
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,324
(Slowed down) I’m Han Solo.
340
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,359
No.
341
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:08,995
Some would call me a pirate.
342
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,897
I’m actually an
intergalactic smuggler.
343
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,032
This is the shirt?
344
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,633
There you go.
345
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:16,135
Excuse me, princess!
346
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,203
Perfect.
347
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,174
What the fuck - Jay -
you betrayed me, man!
348
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,709
And you think I
haven’t figured it out?!
349
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,911
Am I holding a banana?
350
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,313
(Gasping)
351
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,249
No, wait, I can explain.
352
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,417
Why?!
353
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,788
Matt, you were blind.
354
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,756
You had the Han Solo costume--
I knew that I was the only one
355
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,858
that could pull off
the Han Solo costume.
356
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,660
What do you mean?
I can be Han Solo!
357
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,896
I couldn’t let you go and
take this awesome costume
358
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:47,200
and ruin it by being blind
and awkward and not cool.
359
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,637
What? You don’t think I’m cool?
360
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:53,606
Sorry to bug you.
361
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,175
I was just wondering
who gave the approval
362
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,676
for you two guys to film inside?
363
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:57,777
Wait-- Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
364
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,245
You don’t think I’m cool?
365
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,248
Jeez!
366
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,317
(Sobbing)
367
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,886
What does he expect?
368
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:07,720
We’re gonna ask you to
leave the building for now,
369
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:11,491
until... they
get permits, and...
370
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,026
Okay.
371
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,762
- Hi, sir, can you--
- Yeah, I’m fu--
372
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,634
Matt?
373
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,605
Have you seen a blind
guy running out here?
374
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,241
You didn’t-- You don’t see?
375
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,011
Oh, man. Matt!
376
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,379
Matt!
377
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,448
MAN: That’s him!
378
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,949
Oh (Bleep).
379
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,318
Oh Jared, those are those guys.
380
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:39,886
Come on, come on.
381
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,254
They’re following
me, come on!
382
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:44,791
(Bleep)!
383
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,496
Did we lose them?
384
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,332
Okay.
385
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,167
Oh my god.
386
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,336
(Panting)
387
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:13,919
♪
388
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,488
Matt!
389
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:25,564
♪
390
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:47,187
♪
391
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:48,554
(Tires screeching)
392
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:49,689
Whoa, whoa!
393
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,390
Oh (Bleep), (Bleep)!
394
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,193
Hey, cotton pants!
395
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,196
Come here!
396
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,831
(Stuttering)
397
00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,866
Oh (Bleep)!
398
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,168
No, I-- I’m gonna
tell you what happened.
399
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,904
(Thunder crashing)
400
00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:10,042
(Tense music)
401
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,313
(Thunder crashing)
402
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,581
Agh!
403
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,619
(Groaning)
404
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,087
Holy (Bleep)!
405
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,688
(Groaning)
406
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:27,493
♪
407
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,363
(Grunting)
408
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,198
Holy (Bleep)!
409
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,499
- Matt?
- Yeah!
410
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,834
Whoa, look out!
(Glass shattering)
411
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,703
(Groaning)
412
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,372
Ah, (Bleep)!
Holy (Bleep)!
413
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:40,539
Oh my god!
414
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:41,874
Wow!
415
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,076
(Grunting)
416
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,310
Oh (Bleep)!
417
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,645
Argh!
418
00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:47,079
Matt, you broke his hand!
419
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,114
(Groaning)
420
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,315
Okay, you got him.
421
00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:50,616
Enough, enough, enough!
422
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,651
You okay?
423
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,085
Come on, come on!
424
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,420
(Glass shattering)
425
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,656
(Groaning)
426
00:15:56,689 --> 00:16:02,395
(Grunting)
427
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,396
Agh!
428
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:04,597
Oof!
429
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:11,337
(Grunting)
430
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,905
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
431
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,207
Matt, Matt, look out!
432
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,709
Matt, Matt, Boba
Fett’s behind you!
433
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:17,776
(Trash lid clattering)
434
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:20,679
- Aooh!
- Toasty!
435
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,185
Fatality.
436
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,488
(Bittersweet music)
437
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,056
You see that?
438
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:33,626
♪
439
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,960
(Tense music)
440
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:35,962
It’s not over yet!
441
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,730
(Clanging)
Oh, fuck!
442
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:39,865
(Groaning)
443
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:43,035
(Dramatic sting)
444
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:47,073
♪
445
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,975
VOICE: Come on, Matty.
446
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,043
Get to work.
447
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:54,614
(Panting)
448
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,915
(Groaning)
449
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,451
Jay! Jay!
450
00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,186
Help!
451
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,789
Devil sticks!
452
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,057
(Siren blaring)
453
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,359
Cops, cops, cops, cops!
454
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:08,294
(Siren blaring)
455
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:09,862
(Grunting)
456
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,498
Devil sticks!
457
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,366
(Grunting)
458
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:25,111
♪
459
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:28,114
(Groaning)
460
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:29,248
Ooh!
461
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,518
(Groaning)
462
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,153
(Panting)
463
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:39,491
(Bittersweet music)
464
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:45,364
(Panting)
465
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,833
(Grunting)
466
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,101
(Bell dinging)
467
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,436
Oh, it’s you.
468
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:55,441
(Groaning)
469
00:17:55,474 --> 00:18:00,779
(Gasping)
470
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,281
Ah!
471
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,250
(Gasping)
472
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:17,596
♪
473
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,597
(Helmet shattering)
474
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,733
Oh (Bleep)!
475
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:24,603
(Panting)
476
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,539
Oof!
477
00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,140
(Panting)
478
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:29,575
Ah hee hee!
479
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:33,680
(Panting)
480
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:38,484
(Laughing)
481
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:42,454
(Loud laughing)
482
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,191
That’s from King Of Fighters.
483
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:46,292
Where are you?
484
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:47,359
Are you right in
front of me, Jay?
485
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:48,527
Jay, say something.
486
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,629
I’m right here, I’m right here.
487
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,030
Line-- Line the...
488
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,831
How did you do that?
489
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:55,000
You just fought
like an action star!
490
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,402
(Laughing)
491
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:57,603
Do you have any idea
what that looked like?
492
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:58,638
Dude, was it cool?
493
00:18:58,704 --> 00:18:59,972
Oh my god, that was amazing!
494
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,207
But did it-- But
did it look cool?
495
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,274
You beat them up!
496
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:03,543
And I was trying
to do cool punches,
497
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,812
and I was trying to do
cool-- be cool with...
498
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,613
(Sobbing)
What’s the matter?
499
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,016
I was trying to look cool, and
show you that a blind person
500
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,685
could be c-c-cool.
(Sobbing)
501
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,487
Oh, Matt.
502
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,888
Look...
(Sighing)
503
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:18,057
This morning...
504
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,158
somebody told me I wasn’t cool.
505
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:20,559
(Gasping)
506
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:22,328
Yeah, and it bugged me a lot,
507
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,730
and I guess I’m just
taking it out on you.
508
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:28,101
Oh, someone had done to you
what you had then done to me.
509
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,201
The cycle of violence.
510
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,603
I was projecting.
511
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,305
It’s like-- It’s like
molestation, that kinda thing.
512
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:33,906
That’s why they-- That’s why
you’re molested, you become--
513
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,307
You look like Daredevil.
514
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,542
You look exactly like
Daredevil, actually.
515
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:37,643
- Really?
- Yeah.
516
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,745
A homeless guy--
(Car starting)
517
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,014
Hey!
518
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,648
Get back here!
519
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,084
I’m not finished with you!
(Tires screeching)
520
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,220
Daaamn!
521
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,656
That was great!
Did it look oka--
522
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,958
(Crashing)
523
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,494
Oh my god! Oh my god!
524
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,628
Oh my god, Matt!
525
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:08,574
♪
526
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:20,986
♪
527
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,488
I think you’re
gonna be alright.
528
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:23,822
Okay, alright, thank you.
529
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,157
Okay, sir. You take care.
530
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,459
- I love you.
- Okay.
531
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:28,461
- Thank you so much.
- Bye.
532
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,398
By the way, I had a
bite of your sandwich.
533
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,732
I had a sandwich?!
534
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,167
You have a sandwich,
it’s over there.
535
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:36,402
It’s been there
for a couple hours.
536
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:37,670
Oh!
537
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,138
My own sammy?
538
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,273
Yeah.
539
00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:43,476
This is what we call
a Sammy Davis Jr.!
540
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,244
Mmm!
541
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,683
(Speaking gibberish)
542
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,654
Okay, man, why did
you run into the street?
543
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,289
I ran out to stop
those bad boys.
544
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,191
We kicked them out of
Star Wars, remember?
545
00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,892
I think they just
wanted their money back.
546
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,495
You know what, I set
that whole fight up anyway,
547
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:04,597
just to teach you a lesson.
548
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,064
- No you didn’t.
- Sure I did.
549
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,433
Ha-- Maybe I did.
550
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,668
Do you understand that, like,
551
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,069
now we can’t do anything
with The Rivoli?
552
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,737
Your leg’s shattered.
553
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,439
I know, I’m sorry.
554
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,412
Know what the worst part is?
555
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,950
I didn’t even get
to see Star Wars.
556
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,598
(Camera beeping)
557
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,871
(Star Wars theme playing)
558
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,073
Woo!
559
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,407
Star Wars.
560
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:49,742
Episode VII.
561
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,045
(Sighing)
Episode VII.
562
00:21:52,077 --> 00:21:54,079
- The Force Awakens.
- The Force Awakens.
563
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:56,215
The Force Awakens.
564
00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:58,250
Luke Skywalker has vanished.
565
00:21:58,284 --> 00:21:59,719
No!
566
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:03,089
In his absence, the sinister
First Order has risen from
567
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:07,793
the ashes of the Empire, and
will not rest until Skywalker,
568
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,263
the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.
569
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:14,867
With the support
of the Republic...
570
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:24,977
(Star Wars theme)
571
00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:30,349
(Star Wars theme)
572
00:22:30,382 --> 00:22:35,220
♪
573
00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:38,857
So here’s the problem: people
don’t wanna see a Star Wars
574
00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:41,127
mov-- uh, show.
575
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,995
Well...
576
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,997
They wanna see a
Star Wars movie!
577
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,398
That’s what they ha--
That’s what they--
578
00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:48,567
Right, I’m saying Nirvanna
The Band, we make a movie.
579
00:22:48,601 --> 00:22:50,236
That’s how we get the show.
580
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:52,471
We get famous making a movie!
581
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:53,773
Oh, Nirvanna The Band The Movie.
582
00:22:53,806 --> 00:22:54,940
Yeah, exactly!
583
00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:56,275
So start-- what’s
the opening theme?
584
00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:58,644
What’s the theme that
every movie starts with?
585
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:01,347
(Dreamworks theme playing)
586
00:23:01,413 --> 00:23:03,015
I’m on the moon, I’m fishing.
587
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:06,986
(Dreamworks theme playing)
588
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,387
Yep!
589
00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:09,689
(Dreamworks theme playing)
590
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,390
Yep!
591
00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:12,792
I get the big fish.
592
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,393
Hiya!
593
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,830
- Hiya!
- Why is he Japanese?
594
00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:19,365
(Groaning)
595
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,700
(Yelling)
596
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:25,271
(Panting)
597
00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:27,540
It’s funny to watch David
Blaine do a magic trick,
598
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:30,643
and he’s always going, "Watch.
599
00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:32,077
Watch, watch.
600
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:33,846
No, watch.
601
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,448
How is that possible?"
602
00:23:35,481 --> 00:23:37,750
(Laughing)
603
00:23:37,783 --> 00:23:39,351
It’s almost-- You don’t
even need a magic trick.
604
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:42,454
You just-- I know, you
just wanna hear the guy talk!
605
00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:43,789
(Sighing)
606
00:23:43,822 --> 00:23:51,563
♪
39325
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