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1
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,346
(Piano playing)
2
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,915
So I think that we should
begin with, you know,
3
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,884
sort of like a very
simple scene where
4
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,585
they don’t know
we’re a band yet.
5
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,454
Because they’re gonna see, okay,
6
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,423
Nirvanna The Band
plays The Rivoli tonight.
7
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,291
Instantly people are
going, "What the hell?"
8
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,126
Hey, just before you
start, let’s do like
9
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,195
it’s the start of a sitcom or
something, and it’s like...
10
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:33,734
(Piano playing)
11
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,969
So we’re upstage, and
we-- you get started.
12
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,671
(Piano playing)
13
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,673
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you so much
14
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,174
for coming to the show tonight!
15
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,344
I’m Matt, and this is Jay,
and we are Nirvanna The Band!
16
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,980
And we’re gonna
put on a hell of a show!
17
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:47,348
Actually, you can’t say that,
18
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,083
because then if you say
it’s gonna be a great show,
19
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:52,519
then right away every hipster in
the audience is like, "Uh-huh?"
20
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,721
That’s true.
21
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,422
Don’t say it’s gonna be
a good show, say...
22
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:56,690
- It’s gonna be a bad show.
- It’s gonna be a bad show.
23
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:57,891
- Right.
- Okay.
24
00:00:57,925 --> 00:00:59,093
Ladies and gentlemen--
(Piano chord)
25
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,094
Start from the top.
26
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:01,428
(Piano slide)
27
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,297
Ladies and gentlemen,
I got news for ya.
28
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,167
This show is gonna be a
bit of a piece of shit!
29
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,069
No, w-- why would you say that?
30
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:10,604
Well, we just finished saying
that we can’t go up and say
31
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,005
that it’s gonna be good.
32
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,141
No, I...
33
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,009
We need to think
about is what...
34
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:21,182
(Crunching)
35
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,249
No, we need to make a
good first impression.
36
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:24,752
Yeah, that’s right,
we’re doing first impressions.
37
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,353
- Who are these guys?
- Yeah, exactly.
38
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,521
They look a little-- you know,
I’m not sure if I trust them.
39
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:29,890
Yeah, exactly, white guys.
40
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,358
And then there’s a
little bit of a tension...
41
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:35,629
(Piano playing)
42
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,931
It’s like... Sam Neill when
he’s about to see the dinosaurs
43
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,233
for the first time.
44
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,934
That’s a good
first impression.
45
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,170
Jurassic Park leaves a
great first impression.
46
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:44,604
Oh yeah, that’s right!
47
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:45,806
- He’s got the glasses on.
- He’s got the glasses on.
48
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,341
And he’s looking at the thing.
49
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:48,942
And then finally
she turns his head.
50
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:50,611
(Piano playing)
51
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:51,979
And he sees...
52
00:01:52,012 --> 00:02:01,555
(Jurassic Park theme playing)
53
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:05,258
(Gasping)
54
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,960
It’s a brontosaurus.
55
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,929
♪
56
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,263
Do you see it?!
It’s a brontosauru--
57
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:20,307
♪
58
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,600
(Piano playing)
59
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,768
Okay, it’s ringing!
60
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,703
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
61
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:50,804
Hello, hi.
62
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:54,141
May I please speak
to your, uh, the...
63
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,710
Your boss.
64
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,378
The boss.
65
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,680
Uh, booking.
66
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,014
We’re a band, we’re
trying to get a show there.
67
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,115
Please, booking agent.
68
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,817
Okay, thank you very much.
69
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,487
(Phone ringing)
70
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,124
So, this guy comes on--
Or maybe it’s a girl, who knows?
71
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:14,528
If it’s a woman, I’m gonna do
the real, "Hey, how you doing?
72
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:15,562
What’s..." you know what I mean?
73
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,030
The real sappy man.
74
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,265
But I’m saying,
if it is a woman?
75
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,432
very different
than if it’s a man.
76
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,001
- Don’t let them hear us--
- Of course not.
77
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,836
What, you think that they’d
just pick up the phone, listen?
78
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,204
Four girls around the phone?
79
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:25,739
(Giggling)
"The boys called!"
80
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,741
It’s not Dream Phone,
or whatever that game was.
81
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:28,942
- Remember that?
- Just be ready.
82
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,543
I know, I’m just saying
your situation is--
83
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,946
Put yourself in the headspace
of booking the show, please?
84
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,514
I’m there!
85
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,750
I’m saying if it’s a woman, we
gotta act like tough, macho...
86
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,084
"Hey!" like--
87
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,188
Hello?
88
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,324
Hi, this is Matt.
89
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:46,626
I’m-- I’m calling about my band.
90
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,496
I’m wondering if you had a
chance to look at our package
91
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,064
a little while ago.
92
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,366
Just following up basically.
93
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,870
Uh, Nirvanna The Band.
94
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:03,777
(Whispering)
We’re ready to play!
95
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,312
And so we just basically
wanted to let you know that
96
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,480
we’re ready to play, and we
wanted to know what you thought.
97
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,919
Uh, no, no, we dropped
a package off in person.
98
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:15,956
And I think it was July 5th
or something around then?
99
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,730
Uh, it was to just
somebody right outside,
100
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,366
and they said yep, they’re
gonna bring it right in.
101
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:27,200
We figured it was
gonna go right to you.
102
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,104
Oh man.
103
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,846
Yeah, well, we don’t
have any band photos
104
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,114
or anything like that to...
105
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,085
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, we know.
106
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,526
Okay, alright,
well we’ll do that.
107
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:55,195
We will get you... We
will get you band evidence.
108
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,564
We will get it
for you now, okay?
109
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:02,569
Yes!
110
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:03,837
I mean, that
could’ve gone better--
111
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,477
It’s okay.
112
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,046
So it did go well.
113
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:14,247
What the fuck is band evidence?
114
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,784
Oh yes!
115
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,852
(Laughing)
116
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,523
- What?
- I got the VHS tapes.
117
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,858
(Whispering)
118
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,826
What are you
getting tapes for, man?
119
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,864
Bird, what the fuck
are you doing?
120
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,268
Images of Rock and Roll.
121
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,535
- Okay.
- They actually had them.
122
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,438
- Look at this.
- Jurassic Park.
123
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,972
- Home Alone.
- Who cares about--
124
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,408
- The Negotiator!
- The Negotiator?
125
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,410
- Sammy J.
- Okay.
126
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,312
Look, what do you see in common?
127
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,614
All these famous
musicians, okay?
128
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,816
What do you see?
129
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,785
Huh? What’s that?
130
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,554
Huh? You seeing it?
131
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,957
- Yeah.
- Right?
132
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,692
What ties it all together?
133
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,193
Leather pants.
134
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,295
It’s not leather pants, look--
135
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:04,231
Cigarettes, exactly.
136
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,899
They’re all smoking.
137
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,667
Rock stars all smoke cigarettes.
138
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,936
They’re also all
wearing leather pants.
139
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:09,903
Okay, but that’s not
what makes them look cool.
140
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,304
What’s your name?
141
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,906
Marc, we’re a band called
Nirvanna The Band.
142
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,140
We’re trying to
make a photograph
143
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,475
to give to The Rivoli.
144
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,245
And we’re gonna smoke
cigarettes in our picture
145
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,280
just like these guys, right?
146
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,915
Do you think that
would look cool?
147
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,419
Exactly.
148
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:28,888
Actually, that’s
a good question.
149
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,124
Who’s gonna take
the photograph of us?
150
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,625
Are you a photographer?
151
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,195
Fuck, Marc.
152
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,233
What’d you just say?
153
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,336
- Yeah, Sears.
- Wait, what?
154
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,471
Sears?
155
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,308
BOTH: Sears!
156
00:06:51,945 --> 00:07:01,922
(Muzak playing)
157
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,357
What are you doing?
158
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,759
You can’t wear those.
159
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,227
Why?
160
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,729
They’re too tight, you...
161
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,431
That’s okay,
that’s what bands do.
162
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:12,966
They wear tight pants.
163
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,801
Yeah, but those are crazy tight.
164
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,604
Put your shoes back on.
165
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,006
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
166
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,510
Okay, so what do you
want us to do? Like...
167
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,748
- Yeah, alright, sure.
- And you’re like this.
168
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:29,549
No, no, like this, this way.
169
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:31,084
Oh, yeah.
170
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:34,021
If you feel like the leather
pants are sort of a centrepiece,
171
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,355
we can do one with just me or...
172
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,790
- You look perfect.
- Cool, alright.
173
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,164
(Laughing)
174
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,342
Maybe some of the
cigarette stuff is...
175
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:58,879
Also, maybe what you gotta
do is just relax a bit,
176
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:00,580
and don’t put so many
cigarettes in your mouth,
177
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,849
and just... you know
the way you act at home?
178
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:03,850
- Yeah.
- That’s cool.
179
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,084
Okay.
180
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,219
You don’t need to put
anything on right now
181
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,386
just ’cause you’re
in the photo booth.
182
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,721
Right, right,
right, right, sorry.
183
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,092
You know what? I’m a little bit
out of my comfort zone.
184
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,193
(Chuckling)
185
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,795
(Streetcar honking)
186
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,165
Uh, yeah, I’m feeling
good about the picture.
187
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,799
I’ll walk over and give him
the picture, what’s the issue?
188
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,901
I’m not stressed,
I’m not stressed.
189
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,169
Hi, how are you, hi.
190
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,336
I didn’t say you were.
191
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,871
I know-- Well, then
why keep saying it?!
192
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,606
- Stop yelling at me!
- I’m ready to go!
193
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,808
(Car honking)
Oh, sorry, sorry.
194
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,943
Like what do I do?
What do I do?
195
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,178
- I just walk in?
- Wow, look at that.
196
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,647
(Car honking)
197
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,081
Jay, get off the street, man!
198
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,683
Okay, just-- you know what?
199
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:39,319
Give it to the... Give it to the
redheaded waitress over there.
200
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,855
(Muttering)
201
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:42,889
- Excuse me?
- Yeah?
202
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,390
Uh, here.
203
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,126
This is a picture of our band.
204
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,794
- Okay.
- Thank you.
205
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,833
- It went great!
- Yeah?
206
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,235
She said great, she seemed
happy, she smiled, she looked--
207
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,669
I bet you she was
just eating it up.
208
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,271
Right now she’s taking
it in, showing it to
209
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:01,174
the booking manager, and they’re
saying, "Okay, we got it, guys."
210
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,875
Stop, stop.
211
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:04,844
What?
212
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:14,588
(Sad piano music)
213
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,690
What the hell?
214
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,592
Ah, look at it!
215
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:20,861
Excuse me, watch your feet!
216
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:26,233
♪
217
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,902
God, Matt, we screwed up.
218
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,004
This is not a good
first impression.
219
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,705
This is a small impression.
220
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,140
The picture’s too small.
221
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,676
(Musical chime)
222
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:36,976
The first thing The Rivoli
sees needs to be big.
223
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,213
(Musical chime)
224
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:45,051
We need to be big,
and this is...
225
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,820
What? I’m...
226
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:55,395
(Montage music playing)
227
00:09:55,428 --> 00:10:05,471
♪
228
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:25,459
♪
229
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:43,042
♪
230
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:43,142
How does Sam Jackson
stay so calm?
231
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:46,045
How does Sam Jackson
stay so calm?
232
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,914
Did he hear that a
fucking hurricane’s
233
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,115
about to hit Jurassic Park!
234
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,450
Shhh, relax.
235
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,252
I just feel like I wanna
see some emotion from Sam!
236
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,488
He’s the head of security!
237
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,692
Newman hacked Jurassic Park,
and he’s acting like oh!
238
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,393
I can’t hear the movie!
239
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,661
Let me... I’ll
sum it up for you.
240
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:03,095
Sam’s fucked!
241
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:13,140
♪
242
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:33,326
(Guitar playing)
243
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:38,832
(Guitar playing)
244
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:42,168
(Grunting)
245
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,336
Alright.
246
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,037
I can’t believe
we’re actually doing this!
247
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:55,081
(Grunting)
248
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:57,417
Okay, this is good.
249
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,385
Get down, get down, get down!
250
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:00,854
(Panting)
251
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,426
Okay.
252
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,161
(Laughing)
253
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,030
They’re never
gonna see it coming!
254
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:12,465
(Laughing)
255
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:22,508
♪
256
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:24,844
Okay, ready?
257
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:28,247
Three, two, one, go!
258
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:35,588
(Jurassic Park theme playing)
259
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,124
Is it good?
Does it look good?
260
00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:38,457
We’ll come down!
261
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:43,296
♪
262
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:46,666
(Laughing)
263
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:47,967
(Clapping)
264
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,302
Oh my god!
265
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,803
Look at that!
266
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:53,239
Look at it,
we’re on Queen Street.
267
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,574
Oh my god.
268
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:57,177
♪
269
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,378
People at The Rivoli looking?
270
00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,779
- Yeah.
- Hi.
271
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,681
It’s working.
People see it!
272
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,249
See, that’s a
first impression.
273
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,618
Dude, this is it!
274
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,252
- Yeah, it looks good!
- Are you kidding?
275
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,621
It looks good, we look amazing.
276
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:08,821
I wonder if we should hide now,
277
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:10,423
and let’s let the
banner do its work.
278
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,992
I bet you we get home,
there’s a call waiting for us,
279
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,594
it’s The Rivoli...
- Hey, what is that?
280
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,762
- What is that?
- That’s our poster.
281
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,831
Did you not see it until now?
282
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,533
Is that my penis?
283
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:25,972
How did that happen?
284
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,340
How did my penis fall out?
285
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,208
(Pants ripping)
286
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,044
- Oh!
- What was that sound?
287
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,545
(Laughing)
288
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:33,946
Why would you take your dick
out during the photo shoot?!
289
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,381
I didn’t take it out, it
must’ve been the leather pants!
290
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,716
They must’ve been too tight!
291
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:40,052
I mean, this is as stupid
as it gets on your part!
292
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,155
I told you don’t
wear the leather pants!
293
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:45,324
And then you did, and they
burst, and your dick came out!
294
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:48,261
And now your dick is
on the fucking poster!
295
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:49,862
And now everybody’s
looking at it,
296
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,098
thinking why is this
guy’s dick on a poster?
297
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:54,934
Why, you had to bring the
leather pants with vanity!
298
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,436
You had every opportunity not
to wear the leather pants!
299
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:58,972
I said, "Who wears
leather pants?!"
300
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,673
And now you’re looking
like the dick man!
301
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:02,175
You’re looking
like the penis dude!
302
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,811
This is mythic,
classic Greek shit!
303
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,246
This is old school,
dude, very old school!
304
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,681
(Laughing)
305
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,884
This is a classic instant karma!
306
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,753
This guy wanted to have leather
pants on, and then he put ’em on
307
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,155
and they burst, and
your dick comes out!
308
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,859
Ayeee...
309
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,594
Okay, alright.
310
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:24,563
Yeah, okay, buddy, alright,
we’ll get out of this one.
311
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,066
It’s gonna be fine,
we just need some paint.
312
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,135
Well, that’s it,
the plan’s completely done.
313
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:30,636
No, it’s not done, it’s fine.
314
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,138
No, we’re not doing
anything else with the plan.
315
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:33,339
The plan’s done.
316
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,008
What do you mean
the plan’s done?
317
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,109
- Look!
- It’s done!
318
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,710
We made the worst
first impression!
319
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,445
- No, no, no...
- We totally screwed it up.
320
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,147
Not even, it still could be
a great first impression!
321
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,314
Look, come on!
322
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:43,583
It’s easy for you to say.
323
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,084
Come on, you didn’t
have your dick out there.
324
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,719
Fill in the pants,
it’ll be fine!
325
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:47,921
You’re not going
to fill in anything.
326
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:49,255
The plan’s done, I’m
not going back there.
327
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:50,790
- I’m not showing my face.
- But you understand?
328
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,959
- Fill in the pants...
- Stop telling me the plan!
329
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:54,360
I’m trying to help you!
330
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,862
This is gonna get us a show
at the fucking Rivoli!
331
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,997
You don’t understand, I’m
saying this will not help us!
332
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,501
It’s over, Matt!
I’m not going back out there!
333
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,302
It’s not over,
what’s wrong with you?
334
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:04,571
Your penis isn’t
out on Queen Street!
335
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,506
Yeah, maybe a few people
saw it, but that’s it!
336
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:09,208
Why don’t I take your penis
out, put it on Queen Street?!
337
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,812
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean
to tell you like that.
338
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:13,979
Can you do me a favour?
339
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:15,147
Can you relax, please?
340
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,516
- No.
- Relax.
341
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,418
You know, it’s easy to
tell people to relax.
342
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,087
Oh, just relax, Bird!
343
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,288
Okay?
344
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,858
- I’m not gonna relax!
- Relax...
345
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,092
I’ll keep an eye on it.
346
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,760
Maybe it’ll swing
south like the last one.
347
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,263
A fucking hurricane is
about to hit Jurassic Park.
348
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,898
He doesn’t give a fuck.
349
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,168
What’s your secret, Sam?
(Echoing)
350
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:36,335
Oh!
351
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:38,304
(Muffled talking)
352
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:43,809
♪
353
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,211
(Lighter flicking)
354
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,547
The animals can’t manufacture
the amino acid lyscene,
355
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,881
unless they’re completely...
356
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,751
MATT: How is Sam
Jackson so calm?
357
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,320
Hold onto your butts.
358
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:58,058
...Mr. Queen Street Penis,
Mr. Queen Penis, Queen of all--
359
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,091
Hey, hey.
360
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,593
- What the ---?
- Just watch.
361
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,027
Smoke that, smoke
that, smoke that.
362
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,796
This makes you happy? Hmm?
363
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,840
How do you feel?
364
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,212
If we do go back out there,
we’re gonna need disguises.
365
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,080
Right, okay, yeah, disguises.
366
00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:22,448
Hold onto your butts!
367
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,450
(Car honking)
368
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,118
Okay, see?
369
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,387
If we’re dressed like ourselves,
370
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,823
no one can expect
us under these.
371
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,826
So what happens if
somebody comes up to us?
372
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,594
You gotta just let me
do the talking, okay?
373
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,962
- I’m here!
- Are we here?
374
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,129
Oh yeah, we are, okay, good.
375
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,464
Sorry.
376
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,999
Put the stuff down.
377
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,233
Okay.
378
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,202
- Okay, so it’s down there.
- How you doing?
379
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,471
What do you think?
380
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:47,674
You got it!
381
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,108
We’re not in
Nirvanna The Band.
382
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,178
We work for... we’re... we
work for Nirvanna The Band.
383
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:55,581
And uh, we’re part of the
Nirvanna The Band street team.
384
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,550
We’re puppeteers.
385
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:58,818
Nobody knows it’s us!
386
00:16:58,885 --> 00:16:59,919
(Laughing)
387
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:01,287
Okay, hold my thing.
388
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,422
This will just take a second.
389
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,792
Uh... okay.
390
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,961
I can’t really see what...
This is pretty runny stuff.
391
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,563
You know, actually,
this is not so bad, right?
392
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:13,366
I don’t have the
best range of vision.
393
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,134
Whoa, jeez.
394
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:16,669
I should’ve put in
a bigger eye hole!
395
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,836
Tilt it back, you
can see it move!
396
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,038
Yeah, I can’t, I’m trying!
397
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:20,506
- Hold on.
- Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait!
398
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,841
You’re getting the wrong spot!
399
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,709
Okay, I’m taking off the
head, I gotta take it off!
400
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:24,744
- You’re taking it off?
- I have to!
401
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,078
(Grunting)
402
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:27,080
Whoa, jeez!
403
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,381
Your identity is blown!
404
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,216
Yeah, well it’s also not
my dick on Queen Street.
405
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,283
I don’t care if they see me.
406
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:32,385
Hey!
407
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:33,619
Okay, plan’s changing a bit.
408
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,958
Uh, okay, so yeah,
we have a banner...
409
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:42,828
or Nirvanna the-- somebody
graffitied a dick on your store,
410
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,564
and we’re getting it off,
we’re cleaning it off for you.
411
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:45,831
Don’t worry.
412
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,234
Fast, it’s gonna be fast!
413
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,403
This is-- This is a five--
This is a five minute job!
414
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,371
And when it’s done, it’ll be
beautiful, you’ll love it!
415
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,607
Okay.
416
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,675
It’s too high!
417
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:56,776
Make sure you get the penis!
418
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,010
(Grunting)
419
00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:00,413
Oh jeez, now there’s
an arrow pointing at it!
420
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,114
- The fuck!
- You gotta calm down.
421
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:03,716
Remember, painting
is therapeutic!
422
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,251
Oh my god, this
isn’t long enough!
423
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,619
The fucking pole
is not long enough!
424
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:07,786
Reach!
425
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,922
I’m reaching, I’m
reaching, I can’t get...
426
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,425
Okay, the problem is
you’re not calm right now.
427
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:13,626
I need you to be calm!
428
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:15,461
This paint is dripping
all over the place!
429
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,096
What is this stuff?
430
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:18,364
It’s wood varnish!
431
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:19,732
How did you--
(Siren wooping)
432
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,167
Oh god, oh man,
the cops are here!
433
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,468
- Relax, relax!
- I can’t relax!
434
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:23,669
Will you shut up with relax?
435
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:24,671
What the fuck, you keep say--
436
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,172
(Musical chime)
437
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:27,273
What?
438
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,342
(Musical chime)
439
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:30,509
I don’t know!
440
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,045
(Musical chime)
441
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:33,513
(Slowed down)
Cigarettes relax you.
442
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,048
Here, take this.
443
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,417
Uh, okay, do we have a lighter?
444
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,618
Yeah, we do.
445
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,553
Cigarettes!
446
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,088
Smoking cigarettes relaxes you!
447
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,089
Give it to me!
448
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,323
So you’re gonna take this, okay?
449
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:45,925
Good.
450
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,126
- Light it.
- I’m ready.
451
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:48,360
I’m over here, can you see me?
452
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:49,695
I can’t find you, man!
453
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:50,896
You’re missing me, man,
you’re gonna burn my face!
454
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,364
You’re hiding from me!
Where are ya?
455
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,633
- Whoa, whoa whoa whoa!
- What’s happening?
456
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:54,634
(Dramatic music)
457
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:55,835
What?
458
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,169
I think the pole is on fire!
459
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,304
I lit the pole!
460
00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,872
(Screaming)
461
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,173
Oh ---!
462
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:02,408
I can’t see!
463
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:03,776
Take the helmet
off, take it off!
464
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,345
Come on, come on, come on!
465
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,746
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!
466
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,981
(Shouting)
467
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,449
Run here!
468
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:20,159
(Dramatic music)
469
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,293
Oh my god.
470
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:30,469
(Fire truck blaring)
471
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:40,513
♪
472
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:54,760
(Fire truck blaring)
473
00:19:54,794 --> 00:20:04,804
♪
474
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,314
Well, I mean, at least
it’s a first impression.
475
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,416
That is a first impression.
476
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,885
It’s a bad first impression.
477
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,453
Yeah, that’s a
bad first impression.
478
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:21,654
We can make a
second first impression.
479
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:22,956
No, you can’t make a
second first impression.
480
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,256
That’s it, because...
481
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:28,494
(Jurassic Park theme playing)
482
00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:33,365
♪
483
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:41,207
(Piano playing)
484
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,075
What about this for a plan?
485
00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:46,712
NOW Magazine every week
publishes the band listings.
486
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,248
Are you listening?
487
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,615
Do you think these
make me look cool?
488
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,117
No.
489
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:52,284
Um, what--
490
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,552
I liked where we
were going before.
491
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,222
- It’s like a smoky--
- Fantastic, smoky...
492
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,325
Fantastic and smoky, like a
detective-y sort of thing.
493
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:00,759
Um, yeah, yeah, I know.
494
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:01,827
That’s fantastic.
495
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,129
- Smoky.
- Smoky.
496
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,466
Really get like some...
(Piano playing)
497
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,302
Oh, that looks amazing.
498
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:11,637
Wow.
499
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:14,873
Today’s plan didn’t work...
500
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,543
(Piano playing)
501
00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:20,279
...and I’m gonna find
out who’s responsible.
502
00:21:20,346 --> 00:21:22,448
(Piano playing)
503
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:27,453
The guy who switched
my paint for varnish...
504
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:29,388
thinks he’s real funny.
505
00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:32,925
(Trumpet noise)
506
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:37,930
We’re gonna see how funny
it is when I got him...
507
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:42,868
strapped down on the chair
with a hot poker up his asshole.
508
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:46,972
(Piano playing)
509
00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:49,876
Maybe he’s one of
those sick fucks,
510
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:53,246
laughs at his own ass
getting poked with a hot poker.
511
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,748
(Piano playing)
512
00:21:55,781 --> 00:22:00,719
But if not, I’ll be doing the
laughing, thank you very much.
513
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:05,391
(Piano playing)
514
00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:06,592
(Screaming)
515
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:09,461
(Coughing)
516
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,931
Wrong pipe, in
the eye, same time!
517
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:13,499
- Let’s quit smoking.
- I’m done!
518
00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:22,541
♪
36177
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