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1
00:00:10,226 --> 00:00:12,527
So Elaine, are you gonna sleep
with me or what?
2
00:00:12,528 --> 00:00:15,865
George, I just got off
a 23-hour plane ride.
3
00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:19,034
I'm too tired to even vomit
at the thought.
4
00:00:19,035 --> 00:00:20,202
Fine.
5
00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:21,703
I'll ask again
when you're rested.
6
00:00:21,704 --> 00:00:23,205
I'm sure she'll come around.
7
00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:25,540
Yeah, I hope so, for your sake.
8
00:00:25,541 --> 00:00:27,042
I said I was sorry.
9
00:00:27,043 --> 00:00:29,044
You can stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
10
00:00:29,045 --> 00:00:29,849
Would you please
stop saying that?
11
00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:31,246
Would you please
stop saying that?
12
00:00:31,247 --> 00:00:34,049
What's up with you two?
I don't wanna talk about it.
13
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:35,250
So how was the big trip?
14
00:00:35,251 --> 00:00:36,718
I don't wanna talk about it.
15
00:00:36,719 --> 00:00:38,220
Well, what happened
to your nose?
16
00:00:38,221 --> 00:00:40,755
I don't wanna talk about it.
17
00:00:40,756 --> 00:00:43,057
Well, you gotta
give me something.
18
00:00:43,058 --> 00:00:46,060
Come on, how was the wedding?
Was the bride radiant?
19
00:00:46,061 --> 00:00:47,729
She was.
20
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,931
She found out Elaine
slept with the groom.
21
00:00:49,932 --> 00:00:52,901
Ooh, that sounds juicy.
22
00:00:52,902 --> 00:00:54,403
Listen,
I gotta go to the bathroom,
23
00:00:54,404 --> 00:00:56,771
but I wanna hear all about it.
24
00:00:56,772 --> 00:00:58,406
You know,
I didn't go to the bathroom
25
00:00:58,407 --> 00:00:59,849
the entire time we were India.
26
00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:00,609
the entire time we were India.
27
00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:04,313
I can't believe we went all
the way to India for a wedding.
28
00:01:09,251 --> 00:01:11,419
That's it. The wedding's off.
But Sue Ellen...
29
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:12,787
Elaine,
you were my maid of honor
30
00:01:12,788 --> 00:01:14,756
and you slept with my Pinter?
31
00:01:14,757 --> 00:01:17,125
No, no. It was years ago,
before you met him,
32
00:01:17,126 --> 00:01:19,194
and I gotta tell you,
it was very mechanical.
33
00:01:20,095 --> 00:01:22,263
I have never been so humiliated.
34
00:01:22,264 --> 00:01:24,966
Idiots. This is all your fault.
35
00:01:24,967 --> 00:01:28,102
Me? Him. His fault.
He betrayed me.
36
00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:29,137
George, I'm sorry.
37
00:01:29,138 --> 00:01:29,849
You can stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
38
00:01:29,850 --> 00:01:31,305
You can stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
39
00:01:31,306 --> 00:01:33,441
I don't know what that means.
40
00:01:33,442 --> 00:01:36,310
Nina, you have to decide
right now: Jerry or me.
41
00:01:36,311 --> 00:01:38,779
All right. Neither.
42
00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:40,614
What?
43
00:01:40,615 --> 00:01:43,284
What are you doing here?
A free trip to India.
44
00:01:43,285 --> 00:01:45,786
And by the way,
you can take off those boots.
45
00:01:45,787 --> 00:01:48,288
Everyone knows you're 5'6".
46
00:01:48,289 --> 00:01:51,625
- 5'8 ". 5'7".
- See?
47
00:01:51,626 --> 00:01:55,462
See the way they are?
We're still best friends, right?
48
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:58,867
No. And take that stupid thing
out of your nose.
49
00:01:59,801 --> 00:01:59,849
That's got to hurt,
50
00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:01,134
That's got to hurt,
51
00:02:01,135 --> 00:02:03,470
I don't care where you're from.
52
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:07,876
When is our flight back?
I gotta go to the bathroom.
53
00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:17,418
Hi.
54
00:02:18,319 --> 00:02:20,020
What happened last night?
55
00:02:20,021 --> 00:02:22,022
Well, you were pretty loaded.
I know.
56
00:02:22,023 --> 00:02:24,191
I woke up with this.
57
00:02:24,192 --> 00:02:26,594
Oh, hello, tetanus.
58
00:02:30,831 --> 00:02:33,032
George, I'd use the bathroom.
It's fine.
59
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:35,335
No, no, no. I can walk it off.
60
00:02:35,336 --> 00:02:37,605
It's 120 degrees in here.
I'll sweat it out.
61
00:02:40,674 --> 00:02:42,208
Hey.
62
00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:45,878
Are those Timberlands
painted black?
63
00:02:45,879 --> 00:02:47,948
Is your nose pierced?
64
00:02:49,182 --> 00:02:51,618
I should... Yeah. Sit down.
65
00:02:53,687 --> 00:02:54,721
Hello, Jerry.
66
00:02:54,722 --> 00:02:57,356
I believe you know Nina.
67
00:02:57,357 --> 00:02:59,025
George, we need to talk.
68
00:02:59,026 --> 00:02:59,849
You've done a lot more
than talk.
69
00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:00,692
You've done a lot more
than talk.
70
00:03:00,693 --> 00:03:01,861
You betrayed me.
71
00:03:01,862 --> 00:03:03,362
All right, I admit it.
72
00:03:03,363 --> 00:03:05,197
I slept with Nina,
but that's all.
73
00:03:05,198 --> 00:03:07,867
That's all? That's everything.
74
00:03:07,868 --> 00:03:10,202
I don't know what the rest
of it is for, anyway.
75
00:03:10,203 --> 00:03:11,703
I'm really sorry.
76
00:03:11,704 --> 00:03:14,040
You can stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
77
00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:16,875
Where'd you get that one?
It's an expression.
78
00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:17,977
Hey, shh!
79
00:03:22,715 --> 00:03:25,050
Look, we are gonna settle this
right now.
80
00:03:25,051 --> 00:03:26,718
I demand reparations.
81
00:03:26,719 --> 00:03:28,220
I should get to sleep
with Elaine.
82
00:03:28,221 --> 00:03:29,721
That's the only way
to punish you.
83
00:03:29,722 --> 00:03:29,849
That doesn't punish me.
84
00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:31,222
That doesn't punish me.
85
00:03:31,223 --> 00:03:35,394
It punishes Elaine.
And cruelly, I might add.
86
00:03:35,395 --> 00:03:38,665
Funny guy.
87
00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:42,100
Hey, monkeys. Knock it off.
88
00:03:42,101 --> 00:03:44,402
My best friend is trying
to get married up here.
89
00:03:44,403 --> 00:03:47,906
Elaine,
you have to sleep with me.
90
00:03:47,907 --> 00:03:49,407
I'm not gonna sleep with you.
91
00:03:49,408 --> 00:03:50,676
Reparations.
92
00:03:52,411 --> 00:03:54,913
Would you grow up, George?
What is the difference?
93
00:03:54,914 --> 00:03:56,581
Nina slept with him,
he slept with me,
94
00:03:56,582 --> 00:03:57,783
I slept with Pinter.
95
00:03:57,784 --> 00:03:59,849
Nobody cares.
It's all ancient history.
96
00:03:59,850 --> 00:04:00,251
Nobody cares.
It's all ancient history.
97
00:04:00,252 --> 00:04:02,521
You slept with the groom?
98
00:04:21,773 --> 00:04:25,276
Thank you, FDR.
99
00:04:25,277 --> 00:04:26,611
All right, now we're even, huh?
100
00:04:26,612 --> 00:04:28,613
I stuck a rock in there too.
101
00:04:28,614 --> 00:04:29,849
I felt that. All right. Okay.
102
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:31,717
I felt that. All right. Okay.
103
00:04:33,785 --> 00:04:34,952
All right, FDR.
104
00:04:34,953 --> 00:04:36,621
This wish is for
all the marbles.
105
00:04:36,622 --> 00:04:38,989
You win, you get your wish,
I drop dead.
106
00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:42,126
I win, I don't drop dead
and I get 100 percent
107
00:04:42,127 --> 00:04:43,961
anti-drop-dead protection.
108
00:04:43,962 --> 00:04:45,063
Forever.
109
00:04:46,131 --> 00:04:48,566
All right.
110
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:52,237
Oh. Man.
111
00:04:53,471 --> 00:04:55,139
Come on.
There's gotta be something
112
00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:56,640
that'll change your mind, FDR.
113
00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:57,742
Something.
114
00:05:00,478 --> 00:05:02,780
What, you want my kidney?
115
00:05:15,826 --> 00:05:18,328
George knows that you
slept with Nina.
116
00:05:18,329 --> 00:05:20,830
That's why he was acting
so weird.
117
00:05:20,831 --> 00:05:22,499
How did he find out?
118
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,502
He schnapped me.
119
00:05:25,503 --> 00:05:27,170
You know you're
not supposed to drink
120
00:05:27,171 --> 00:05:28,906
while you're keeping a secret.
121
00:05:30,675 --> 00:05:32,842
Is there anything else?
122
00:05:32,843 --> 00:05:34,010
I can't tell you.
123
00:05:34,011 --> 00:05:35,679
Here, drink this.
124
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:36,781
Okay.
125
00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:45,021
I slept with the groom.
126
00:05:45,022 --> 00:05:48,524
Pinter?
He used to be called Peter.
127
00:05:48,525 --> 00:05:50,860
So who cares about that?
128
00:05:50,861 --> 00:05:52,861
Sue Ellen!
129
00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:56,532
If she knew, she'd call off
the whole wedding.
130
00:05:56,533 --> 00:05:59,535
Oh, nobody's calling off
any weddings.
131
00:05:59,536 --> 00:06:01,305
All right, it's time to go.
132
00:06:03,207 --> 00:06:05,309
Come on. Up.
133
00:06:07,244 --> 00:06:10,045
You know what Jerry
is in Indian?
134
00:06:10,046 --> 00:06:11,035
No, what?
135
00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:11,380
No, what?
136
00:06:11,381 --> 00:06:12,381
"Jugdish."
137
00:06:12,382 --> 00:06:16,218
Yes, Jugdish. Hey.
138
00:06:16,219 --> 00:06:19,588
What if I got my nose pierced?
139
00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:21,890
That would be pretty freaky.
140
00:06:21,891 --> 00:06:25,728
Ooo-oo-ooh.
141
00:06:25,729 --> 00:06:28,396
Yes. I think it's a fine idea.
142
00:06:28,397 --> 00:06:29,666
Well, good night.
143
00:06:33,737 --> 00:06:35,138
Good night, Jugdish.
144
00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:44,180
Bless you. Thank you.
145
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,421
Hello, FDR.
146
00:06:53,422 --> 00:06:56,424
Yeah, I'll have a hot one.
147
00:06:56,425 --> 00:06:57,625
Everything on it.
148
00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:01,929
These things will kill you,
but so what?
149
00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:03,631
You're already gonna drop dead.
150
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:04,966
Well, guess what, FDR?
151
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:06,768
I made a wish
on a shooting star last night
152
00:07:06,769 --> 00:07:09,604
and I wished against your wish.
153
00:07:09,605 --> 00:07:10,938
That's funny.
154
00:07:10,939 --> 00:07:11,035
As it happens
I saw the same shooting star
155
00:07:11,036 --> 00:07:13,608
As it happens
I saw the same shooting star
156
00:07:13,609 --> 00:07:16,110
and I double-wished you
to drop dead.
157
00:07:16,111 --> 00:07:17,212
Here's your change.
158
00:07:18,781 --> 00:07:20,716
All right, I'm triple-wishing.
159
00:07:22,284 --> 00:07:26,388
Yeah, fair enough.
I'm quadruple-wishing.
160
00:07:29,124 --> 00:07:30,859
All right. How do you like this?
161
00:07:32,294 --> 00:07:34,628
I like it a lot.
162
00:07:34,629 --> 00:07:36,231
Go.
163
00:07:48,143 --> 00:07:51,478
Oh, God, it's so hot.
164
00:07:51,479 --> 00:07:53,147
What is that smell?
165
00:07:53,148 --> 00:07:55,482
I think it's the stench
of death.
166
00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:59,152
George, you've been wearing
those boots since I met you.
167
00:07:59,153 --> 00:08:01,417
You're not gonna wear them
to the wedding, are you?
168
00:08:01,503 --> 00:08:02,636
No.
169
00:08:03,991 --> 00:08:05,927
I'm gonna wear black shoes.
170
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,696
Oh, boy, there's Sue Ellen.
171
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,035
She didn't want me
at this wedding,
172
00:08:11,036 --> 00:08:11,832
She didn't want me
at this wedding,
173
00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:15,335
but here I am with a bunch
of my idiot friends.
174
00:08:15,336 --> 00:08:17,170
This is gonna be great.
175
00:08:17,171 --> 00:08:20,006
Elaine? Oh!
176
00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:22,676
Oh, I am so happy to see you.
177
00:08:22,677 --> 00:08:25,678
You are? Well, of course.
178
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:28,181
No one else was even willing
to come to India.
179
00:08:28,182 --> 00:08:31,517
I mean, not even Pinter's
parents and they're Indian.
180
00:08:31,518 --> 00:08:34,187
Come on, Sue Ellen,
you don't wear a bra,
181
00:08:34,188 --> 00:08:36,356
you're tall. We hate each other.
182
00:08:36,357 --> 00:08:41,027
Elaine, I know.
I know we've had our problems,
183
00:08:41,028 --> 00:08:41,035
but I want you to be my maid
of honor and my best friend.
184
00:08:41,036 --> 00:08:45,531
but I want you to be my maid
of honor and my best friend.
185
00:08:45,532 --> 00:08:47,801
- Heh.
- All right, I guess.
186
00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:53,873
Oh, this is my fiancé.
Pinter, say hello.
187
00:08:53,874 --> 00:08:55,240
Hello.
188
00:08:55,241 --> 00:08:58,411
Peter. Oh, no. It's "Pinter."
189
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,413
Does anyone wanna use
the bathroom?
190
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,883
Oh, no, no. We're good.
Let's get going, all right.
191
00:09:03,884 --> 00:09:05,018
Watch it, funny man.
192
00:09:06,386 --> 00:09:07,720
Elaine,
193
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:10,222
did you notice George was acting
strange the whole flight?
194
00:09:10,223 --> 00:09:11,035
No, what? Like what?
Strange? No.
195
00:09:11,036 --> 00:09:14,226
No, what? Like what?
Strange? No.
196
00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:17,562
Uh-huh. Hey, look what
they had on the plane.
197
00:09:17,563 --> 00:09:19,098
Schnapps.
198
00:09:19,099 --> 00:09:20,333
Ooh.
199
00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:25,005
Come on, come on.
200
00:09:26,072 --> 00:09:27,739
Yes. There's one.
201
00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:31,743
I wish I don't drop dead!
202
00:09:31,744 --> 00:09:33,078
Hey, shut up up there.
203
00:09:33,079 --> 00:09:35,648
You shut up. Ah, drop dead.
204
00:09:40,953 --> 00:09:41,035
Hello, friend.
205
00:09:41,036 --> 00:09:42,086
Hello, friend.
206
00:09:42,087 --> 00:09:43,422
Enjoying the flight?
207
00:09:43,423 --> 00:09:45,957
Coach to India. Only way to go.
208
00:09:45,958 --> 00:09:49,294
Good one. Very funny.
209
00:09:49,295 --> 00:09:50,629
You're very funny, Jerry.
210
00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:52,431
That's what I always
tell people.
211
00:09:52,432 --> 00:09:54,033
Jerry Seinfeld's a funny guy.
212
00:09:56,101 --> 00:09:58,437
Are you all right?
Of course I'm all right.
213
00:09:58,438 --> 00:10:01,973
I'm here with my girl. Nina.
214
00:10:01,974 --> 00:10:03,474
And what better way
to pass the time
215
00:10:03,475 --> 00:10:05,810
than gabbing
with my best friend.
216
00:10:05,811 --> 00:10:09,348
With whom there are no secrets.
217
00:10:10,649 --> 00:10:11,035
since fourth grade.
218
00:10:11,036 --> 00:10:11,816
since fourth grade.
219
00:10:11,817 --> 00:10:14,053
Hey, didn't I beat you up
in fourth grade?
220
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,620
Funny guy.
221
00:10:16,621 --> 00:10:17,956
Right here.
222
00:10:17,957 --> 00:10:21,625
By the way, you never
said anything to George
223
00:10:21,626 --> 00:10:22,961
about Jerry and me, did you?
224
00:10:22,962 --> 00:10:25,730
Oh, please, it's in the vault.
225
00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:30,535
Jerry Seinfeld's a funny guy.
226
00:10:34,639 --> 00:10:36,840
Hey, what time is it?
227
00:10:36,841 --> 00:10:38,877
You just asked me
two minutes ago.
228
00:10:40,812 --> 00:10:41,035
Hey, what time is it?
229
00:10:41,036 --> 00:10:42,646
Hey, what time is it?
230
00:10:42,647 --> 00:10:43,948
I'm not wearing a watch.
231
00:10:45,517 --> 00:10:47,485
Is this tooth chipped?
232
00:10:47,486 --> 00:10:50,153
Yeah. How'd you do that?
233
00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:52,256
I have no idea.
234
00:10:53,492 --> 00:10:54,593
Watch this.
235
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:03,434
Oh, God.
236
00:11:05,336 --> 00:11:07,004
So Jerry and Nina, huh?
237
00:11:07,005 --> 00:11:08,272
Uh-uh.
238
00:11:10,508 --> 00:11:11,035
I'm not gonna tell you
any more things.
239
00:11:11,036 --> 00:11:14,946
I'm not gonna tell you
any more things.
240
00:11:17,381 --> 00:11:19,016
You already told me everything.
241
00:11:19,017 --> 00:11:21,419
Okey-dokey.
242
00:11:24,855 --> 00:11:26,189
We had a deal, Newman,
243
00:11:26,190 --> 00:11:28,391
and you were supposed
to give me your birthday wish,
244
00:11:28,392 --> 00:11:29,859
and now you've wasted it.
245
00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:32,529
Did I?
246
00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:35,365
Newman, I'm bored.
247
00:11:35,366 --> 00:11:37,199
Does your girlfriend
have to be here?
248
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,469
Does yours?
249
00:11:41,038 --> 00:11:43,373
I'm just hanging out in this
hellhole because of George.
250
00:11:43,374 --> 00:11:45,374
All right, come on, Newman.
You gotta help me.
251
00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:47,209
What am I gonna do about FDR?
252
00:11:47,210 --> 00:11:49,546
Why don't you just
make another wish?
253
00:11:49,547 --> 00:11:51,648
And how am I gonna do that,
toots?
254
00:11:51,649 --> 00:11:54,483
What about a shooting star?
255
00:11:54,484 --> 00:11:57,654
- That's perfect.
- Beauty...
256
00:11:57,655 --> 00:11:59,289
and brains.
257
00:12:00,724 --> 00:12:01,991
Oh, come on.
258
00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:03,927
You know he's a postman,
don't you?
259
00:12:07,164 --> 00:12:08,664
Here's your plane ticket.
260
00:12:08,665 --> 00:12:10,166
What are you talking about?
261
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:11,035
Sue Ellen sends me an invitation
262
00:12:11,036 --> 00:12:12,801
Sue Ellen sends me an invitation
263
00:12:12,802 --> 00:12:15,671
one week before
her wedding in India.
264
00:12:15,672 --> 00:12:16,838
I'll show her.
265
00:12:16,839 --> 00:12:18,407
By flying half way
around the world?
266
00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:20,476
Spite never sleeps.
267
00:12:20,477 --> 00:12:23,912
Especially when you got
a layover in Sarajevo.
268
00:12:23,913 --> 00:12:25,747
Hey. Here.
269
00:12:25,748 --> 00:12:27,483
You're going to India
with us tomorrow.
270
00:12:27,484 --> 00:12:28,750
For how long? Three days.
271
00:12:28,751 --> 00:12:30,586
Great. Jerry, I gotta tell you,
272
00:12:30,587 --> 00:12:33,188
I had the best time
with that Nina last night.
273
00:12:33,189 --> 00:12:35,357
I think I'm in love
with her already.
274
00:12:35,358 --> 00:12:36,758
You are a great friend.
275
00:12:36,759 --> 00:12:38,294
A great, great friend.
276
00:12:40,997 --> 00:12:41,035
Kramer. Wanna borrow something?
You wanna eat? Come on in.
277
00:12:41,036 --> 00:12:43,431
Kramer. Wanna borrow something?
You wanna eat? Come on in.
278
00:12:43,432 --> 00:12:44,766
Wanna go to India?
279
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:47,603
I can't. I'm gonna drop dead.
280
00:12:47,604 --> 00:12:49,204
Great. Nina could go, huh?
281
00:12:49,205 --> 00:12:50,772
Jerry, this is great.
282
00:12:50,773 --> 00:12:53,208
You and Elaine. Me and Nina.
283
00:12:53,209 --> 00:12:54,776
Kramer, wait up,
I'll go with you.
284
00:12:54,777 --> 00:12:56,812
I'm going to Newman's.
Great, I love Newman.
285
00:12:57,947 --> 00:13:00,348
Jerry seem a little weird
when I mentioned Nina?
286
00:13:00,349 --> 00:13:03,851
Nina? Nina? Nope.
Not weird. No. Nina.
287
00:13:03,852 --> 00:13:06,887
Why do you keep saying Nina?
I don't know. Nina.
288
00:13:06,888 --> 00:13:08,190
Nina!
289
00:13:10,726 --> 00:13:11,035
I'm gonna go grab a bite.
290
00:13:11,036 --> 00:13:12,727
I'm gonna go grab a bite.
291
00:13:12,728 --> 00:13:13,995
I'll meet you down there.
292
00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:19,000
Cereal. Cereal.
293
00:13:20,302 --> 00:13:21,570
Peach schnapps.
294
00:13:23,805 --> 00:13:24,905
Come on, Lomez.
295
00:13:24,906 --> 00:13:26,975
We're gonna be late
for the movie.
296
00:13:29,411 --> 00:13:30,545
You see, my dear,
297
00:13:30,546 --> 00:13:32,713
all certified mail
is registered,
298
00:13:32,714 --> 00:13:37,251
but registered mail
is not necessarily certified.
299
00:13:37,252 --> 00:13:40,487
I could listen to you
talk about mail all day.
300
00:13:40,488 --> 00:13:41,035
Anything you wish.
301
00:13:41,036 --> 00:13:42,322
Anything you wish.
302
00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:45,660
I'll tell you a little secret
about zip codes:
303
00:13:45,661 --> 00:13:46,828
they're meaningless.
304
00:13:47,763 --> 00:13:49,930
Wish.
305
00:13:49,931 --> 00:13:50,999
Newman!
306
00:13:54,602 --> 00:13:56,071
Lomez, I'm leaving.
307
00:14:09,184 --> 00:14:14,254
Make a wish, Newman. We've gotta
get back to work in three hours.
308
00:14:14,255 --> 00:14:16,456
Newman! Wait!
309
00:14:16,457 --> 00:14:18,692
Kramer. I'm with people.
310
00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:21,528
Yeah, yeah,
and thanks for inviting me.
311
00:14:21,529 --> 00:14:23,196
I did invite you.
312
00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:26,501
Your invitation must have gotten
lost in the mail.
313
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:34,974
Look, Newman, I need your wish
to protect me from FDR.
314
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,811
Can't do. I'm on an unbelievable
birthday-wish hot streak.
315
00:14:37,812 --> 00:14:39,779
My last five birthday wishes
came true.
316
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:42,448
Come on. Look, I'll give you
my next birthday wish.
317
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:45,284
Your next 50 wishes.
318
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,619
Forty-eight.
319
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,121
Forty-nine. Done.
320
00:14:48,122 --> 00:14:49,288
Sucker. Sucker.
321
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:52,059
All right, I'm back,
savages, back.
322
00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:54,728
I haven't made my wish yet.
323
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:10,008
Well, this Mischke mishmash
is just getting worse. Uh-huh.
324
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,345
I talked to the groom's parents
and it is so obvious
325
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:13,912
that they don't want me to go.
Sure.
326
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,914
The reason she sent me
an invitation Uh-huh.
327
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,650
- was so I'd send her a gift.
- Jerry?
328
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:20,352
You know, coffee grinder's nice
or a coffee maker.
329
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,521
Everyone likes coffee.
Maybe you should go get...
330
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,691
Oh, hi.
331
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,359
Hi.
332
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,770
I should... Sure.
333
00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:29,771
I should... Sure.
334
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,266
Bye-bye. Bye.
335
00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:38,703
Who else you got back there?
336
00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:41,039
Look, there was an awkward
moment in the conversation.
337
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,340
It never happened before.
338
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:45,343
You slept with Nina.
What are you gonna tell George?
339
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:46,879
Nothing. And neither will you.
340
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,380
George can never
know about this.
341
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,882
It'll crush him.
All right, all right,
342
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,050
I'll put it in the vault.
343
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,352
No good. Too many people
know the combination.
344
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,621
What combination?
345
00:15:58,056 --> 00:15:58,770
Don't be ridiculous.
346
00:15:58,771 --> 00:16:00,158
Don't be ridiculous.
347
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:04,061
Oh, my God, this drawer
is filled with Froot Loops.
348
00:16:04,062 --> 00:16:06,699
So what? And milk.
349
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,037
Oh, jeez.
350
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,139
Hello?
351
00:16:25,383 --> 00:16:27,484
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Ranawat.
352
00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:28,770
Please.
353
00:16:28,771 --> 00:16:29,153
Please.
354
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,055
Call us Usha and Zubin.
355
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:33,891
Well, Usha... I'm Zubin.
356
00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:37,728
Anyway, your son is marrying
my friend, Sue Ellen Mischke...
357
00:16:37,729 --> 00:16:39,430
You're not going
to the wedding, are you?
358
00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:41,398
Well... Don't go.
359
00:16:41,399 --> 00:16:44,568
India is a dreadful,
dreadful place.
360
00:16:44,569 --> 00:16:47,904
You know, it's the only country
that still has the plague.
361
00:16:47,905 --> 00:16:50,842
I mean, the plague. Please.
362
00:16:52,076 --> 00:16:53,577
Here's the registry.
363
00:16:53,578 --> 00:16:57,348
Send her a gift and be glad
you did not have to go.
364
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,770
Right. Don't go, send a gift?
365
00:16:58,771 --> 00:17:00,451
Right. Don't go, send a gift?
366
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:01,519
I think I understand.
367
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,755
If I had to go to India,
368
00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:07,123
I wouldn't go to the bathroom
the entire trip.
369
00:17:07,124 --> 00:17:09,125
That's fantastic.
370
00:17:09,126 --> 00:17:11,863
And I'm not so crazy
about Manhattan either.
371
00:17:17,301 --> 00:17:19,269
Oh, you were gonna tell me
all about George.
372
00:17:19,270 --> 00:17:21,304
Ah, just remember
when you see him tomorrow night
373
00:17:21,305 --> 00:17:22,773
to tell him
the waiter liked him.
374
00:17:22,774 --> 00:17:24,140
Really?
375
00:17:24,141 --> 00:17:26,142
Believe me.
376
00:17:26,143 --> 00:17:28,311
I forgot how much fun
it is hanging out with you.
377
00:17:28,312 --> 00:17:28,770
I know. You know,
we never had a bad conversation.
378
00:17:28,771 --> 00:17:31,481
I know. You know,
we never had a bad conversation.
379
00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:32,782
I know. No awkward pauses.
380
00:17:32,783 --> 00:17:35,152
Probably the reason
we never fooled around.
381
00:17:37,454 --> 00:17:38,755
Yeah.
382
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:41,825
Probably the reason.
383
00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:53,669
Are you dense?
384
00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:57,173
I said,
I wanted you to drop dead.
385
00:17:58,742 --> 00:17:58,770
Now, drop dead.
386
00:17:58,771 --> 00:18:00,611
Now, drop dead.
387
00:18:04,581 --> 00:18:06,249
I knew it. Stupid Jerry.
388
00:18:07,317 --> 00:18:09,184
Kramer,
I know what I'm talking about.
389
00:18:09,185 --> 00:18:11,654
There's no way FDR
wants you to drop dead.
390
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:15,357
But you have...
Just go back and ask him again.
391
00:18:15,358 --> 00:18:16,859
That's right.
392
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:19,694
My birthday wish
was that you drop dead.
393
00:18:19,695 --> 00:18:20,863
Well, why?
394
00:18:20,864 --> 00:18:22,531
I have my reasons.
395
00:18:22,532 --> 00:18:23,999
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
396
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,535
If you make a birthday wish
out loud it doesn't come true.
397
00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:28,770
That's just a silly
superstition.
398
00:18:28,771 --> 00:18:30,051
That's just a silly
superstition.
399
00:18:33,843 --> 00:18:38,012
Hey, FDR wants me to drop dead.
400
00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:39,047
FDR?
401
00:18:39,048 --> 00:18:40,882
Yeah, Franklin Delano
Romanowski.
402
00:18:40,883 --> 00:18:42,384
I go to his birthday party
403
00:18:42,385 --> 00:18:44,118
and just before he blew out
his candles
404
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:45,887
he gives me this look.
405
00:18:45,888 --> 00:18:47,522
Stink eye? Crook eye?
406
00:18:47,523 --> 00:18:49,158
Evil eye.
407
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,727
Everybody's cranky
on their birthday.
408
00:18:52,728 --> 00:18:54,896
Oh, it's a bad day.
You got everyone in your house,
409
00:18:54,897 --> 00:18:56,698
you're thinking,
"These are my friends?"
410
00:18:56,699 --> 00:18:58,333
Everyday is my birthday.
411
00:18:59,902 --> 00:19:03,305
Well, I can't have this hanging
over my head. It's bad mojo.
412
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,142
Hi.
413
00:19:08,577 --> 00:19:11,412
You're not gonna believe
what I got in the mail.
414
00:19:11,413 --> 00:19:13,915
Invitation to Sue Ellen
Mischke's wedding.
415
00:19:13,916 --> 00:19:16,717
At least the wedding gown
will give her some support.
416
00:19:16,718 --> 00:19:18,252
Not the point.
417
00:19:18,253 --> 00:19:22,156
The wedding is in one week.
I got this today.
418
00:19:22,157 --> 00:19:24,758
So you think it's a non-vite.
It's an un-vitation.
419
00:19:24,759 --> 00:19:28,262
Hey, are you getting taller?
Timberlands.
420
00:19:28,263 --> 00:19:28,770
Ah.
421
00:19:28,771 --> 00:19:30,164
Ah.
422
00:19:30,165 --> 00:19:33,234
Hey, look at this.
"Pinter Ranawat"?
423
00:19:33,235 --> 00:19:34,268
Wonder if he's related
424
00:19:34,269 --> 00:19:35,936
to the guy I dated,
Peter Ranawat.
425
00:19:35,937 --> 00:19:37,672
It's probably like Smith
over there.
426
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:41,609
Jerry, would you make the call?
What call?
427
00:19:41,610 --> 00:19:44,011
He wants me to set him up
with this girl Nina Stengle.
428
00:19:44,012 --> 00:19:46,780
Oh, the great conversation girl.
429
00:19:46,781 --> 00:19:48,281
The one you think
can replace me.
430
00:19:48,282 --> 00:19:50,283
I was kidding when I said that.
431
00:19:50,284 --> 00:19:51,519
Told me the same thing.
432
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,454
Nina, hi, it's Jerry.
433
00:19:53,455 --> 00:19:55,422
You're sure you never
slept with her?
434
00:19:55,423 --> 00:19:56,590
Perfect.
435
00:19:56,591 --> 00:19:58,770
Hey, how about my friend George,
quite a guy, huh?
436
00:19:58,771 --> 00:20:00,027
Hey, how about my friend George,
quite a guy, huh?
437
00:20:00,028 --> 00:20:02,129
Something's not sitting right.
438
00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:04,865
I'll have the clams casino.
Get out of here.
439
00:20:04,866 --> 00:20:06,700
Chef recommends.
440
00:20:08,036 --> 00:20:10,137
Do you think she likes me? Sure.
441
00:20:10,138 --> 00:20:12,639
How come nothing ever happened
between you and Nina?
442
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,707
Is there a problem with her?
Is she a man?
443
00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:16,877
Are you?
444
00:20:16,878 --> 00:20:18,311
Then what's the reason?
445
00:20:18,312 --> 00:20:19,812
We were too compatible.
446
00:20:19,813 --> 00:20:21,881
Our conversations
were so engrossing.
447
00:20:21,882 --> 00:20:24,551
- How engrossing?
- If we had a problem with Elaine
448
00:20:24,552 --> 00:20:26,487
we could bring in Nina
and not lose a step.
449
00:20:29,323 --> 00:20:32,826
You don't have a replacement
lined up for me, do you?
450
00:20:35,896 --> 00:20:37,497
Anyway, like I was saying,
451
00:20:37,498 --> 00:20:40,166
I couldn't make the transition
from conversation to sex.
452
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:42,502
There were no awkward pauses.
I need an awkward pause.
453
00:20:42,503 --> 00:20:45,238
I'm all awkward pauses.
Fix me up with her.
454
00:20:46,173 --> 00:20:47,173
Well, wait a minute.
455
00:20:47,174 --> 00:20:49,308
Nina just saw me
in my Timberlands.
456
00:20:49,309 --> 00:20:51,844
Now I have to wear them
every time I see her. Why?
457
00:20:51,845 --> 00:20:53,580
In any other shoe,
I lose two inches.
458
00:20:53,581 --> 00:20:54,847
I can't have a drop-down.
459
00:20:54,848 --> 00:20:56,916
We're eye to eye.
I can't go eye to chin.
460
00:20:56,917 --> 00:20:58,770
So you're gonna wear them
no matter what the situation?
461
00:20:58,771 --> 00:20:59,318
So you're gonna wear them
no matter what the situation?
462
00:20:59,319 --> 00:21:03,189
In every situation.
No matter how silly I look.
463
00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:05,858
Tastes a little funky.
I'm sure it's fine.
464
00:21:10,697 --> 00:21:12,198
Woo!
465
00:21:12,199 --> 00:21:13,966
Go on, make a wish, make a wish.
466
00:21:25,712 --> 00:21:27,379
Ah, this is the kind of day
467
00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:28,770
that almost makes you feel
good to be alive.
468
00:21:28,771 --> 00:21:31,216
that almost makes you feel
good to be alive.
469
00:21:31,217 --> 00:21:32,217
New Timberlands?
470
00:21:32,218 --> 00:21:33,452
Yeah, and a whole new me.
471
00:21:33,453 --> 00:21:35,521
I'm up two inches
on these babies. Really?
472
00:21:35,522 --> 00:21:37,856
5'8 ". 5'7".
473
00:21:37,857 --> 00:21:39,891
Jerry. Nina.
474
00:21:39,892 --> 00:21:41,226
Hi. It's been years.
475
00:21:41,227 --> 00:21:42,894
Yeah. George, this is Nina.
476
00:21:42,895 --> 00:21:45,464
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
477
00:21:53,072 --> 00:21:54,473
India?
478
00:21:55,574 --> 00:21:56,574
Yeah, right.
479
00:21:56,575 --> 00:21:58,310
I'm going to India.
480
00:22:08,254 --> 00:22:10,421
and they call it
the World Wide Web.
481
00:22:10,422 --> 00:22:11,922
You can e-mail anyone.
482
00:22:11,923 --> 00:22:13,758
What are you, a scientist?
483
00:22:13,759 --> 00:22:16,427
Ah. Gotta go. Ah.
484
00:22:16,428 --> 00:22:18,364
It was great talking.
Great talking to you.
485
00:22:19,565 --> 00:22:21,767
What the hell is e-mail?
486
00:22:23,269 --> 00:22:24,935
How was the date? Pretty good.
487
00:22:24,936 --> 00:22:26,638
I think she might be the one.
488
00:22:29,107 --> 00:22:30,608
Oh, French fries. George.
489
00:22:30,609 --> 00:22:33,296
Baked potato. Sorry.
490
00:22:33,297 --> 00:22:34,244
Baked potato. Sorry.
491
00:22:34,245 --> 00:22:37,615
Yeah, you stuff your sorries
in a sack, mister.
492
00:22:37,616 --> 00:22:41,118
Oh, hey, hey.
Yeah. Check it out.
493
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,288
Man, it's packing tight.
494
00:22:44,289 --> 00:22:46,190
Why are you bringing
snowballs in here for?
495
00:22:46,191 --> 00:22:48,592
I need some water.
Ice it up, nice and hard.
496
00:22:48,593 --> 00:22:50,127
Then when you throw it:
497
00:22:50,128 --> 00:22:52,296
Oh, look, there's my friend FDR.
498
00:22:52,297 --> 00:22:54,631
I'm gonna nail him
in the back of the head.
499
00:22:54,632 --> 00:22:55,900
It's gonna be great.
500
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:03,296
Hi, Elaine. Hey.
501
00:23:03,297 --> 00:23:03,473
Hi, Elaine. Hey.
502
00:23:03,474 --> 00:23:06,977
Hey. Let's go someplace else.
Okay, Peter?
503
00:23:17,655 --> 00:23:18,822
Hey, how you doing?
504
00:23:18,823 --> 00:23:21,853
Oh, hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld.
I'm moving in.
505
00:23:21,854 --> 00:23:23,986
Saw your name on the buzzer.
You must be Kessler.
506
00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:26,353
No, actually, it's Kramer. Oh.
507
00:23:26,354 --> 00:23:28,519
You need any help or...?
No, thanks.
508
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,353
But I ordered a pizza,
you want some of it?
509
00:23:30,354 --> 00:23:33,019
No, no, no. I couldn't impose.
510
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:33,296
Why not?
511
00:23:33,297 --> 00:23:34,353
Why not?
512
00:23:34,354 --> 00:23:36,920
We're neighbors.
What's mine is yours.
513
00:23:39,420 --> 00:23:40,487
Really?
514
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,287
Good night, Jugdish.
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