All language subtitles for Roman Holi

PARAMOUNT NEWS BRINGS YOU

A SPECIAL COVERAGE

OF PRINCESS ANN'S
LONDON VISIT,

THE FIRST STOP ON HER
MUCH-PUBLICIZED GOOD-WILL TOUR

OF EUROPEAN CAPITALS.

SHE GETS A ROYAL WELCOME
FROM THE BRITISH,

AS THOUSANDS CHEER
THE GRACIOUS YOUNG MEMBER

OF ONE OF EUROPE'S
OLDEST RULING FAMILIES.

AFTER THREE DAYS
OF CONTINUOUS ACTIVITY

AND A VISIT
TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE,

ANN FLEW TO AMSTERDAM,

WHERE HER ROYAL HIGHNESS
DEDICATED

THE NEW INTERNATIONAL
AID BUILDING

AND CHRISTENED
AN OCEAN LINER,

THEN WENT TO PARIS,

WHERE SHE ATTENDED MANY
OFFICIAL FUNCTIONS DESIGNED

TO CEMENT TRADE RELATIONS
BETWEEN HER COUNTRY

AND THE WESTERN
EUROPEAN NATIONS.

AND SO TO ROME,
THE ETERNAL CITY,

WHERE THE PRINCESS' VISIT
WAS MARKED

BY A SPECTACULAR
MILITARY PARADE

HIGHLIGHTED BY THE BAND OF
THE CRACK BERSAGLIERE REGIMENT.

(PLAYING TRUMPETS)

THE SMILING YOUNG PRINCESS
SHOWED NO SIGN

OF THE STRAIN OF THE WEEK'S
PUBLIC APPEARANCES.

AND AT HER COUNTRY'S
EMBASSY THAT EVENING,

A FORMAL RECEPTION AND BALL
IN HER HONOR

WAS GIVEN BY HER COUNTRY'S
AMBASSADOR TO ITALY.

(FANFARE)

LA SUA ALTEZZA REALE...

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS.

HIS EXCELLENCY,
THE PAPAL NUNCIO,

MONSIGNOR ALTOMONTE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

SIR HUGO MACY
DE FARMINGTON.

GOOD EVENING,
SIR HUGO.

GOOD EVENING,
YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS.

HIS HIGHNESS
THE MAHARAJAH OF KHANIPUR

AND THE RAIKUUARI.

I'M SO GLAD
YOU COULD COME.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU,
MADAM.

FRIHERRE ERICK AF
MASSINSJARNA BERGENSKIOLD.

GUTEN ABEND.

PRINCE ISTVAN BAROSSY
NAGYAVAROS.

HOW DO YOU DO?

IRHE HOHEIT DER FURST
UND DIE FURSTIN

VON UND ZU
LUCHTENSTICHENHOLZ.

GUTEN ABEND.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

SIR HARI SINGH

AND KMARK SINGH.

THE COUNT AND COUNTESS
VON MARSTRAND.

GOOD EVENING, COUNTESS.

GOOD EVENING.

SENOR Y SENORA
JOAQUIN DE CAMOES.

GOOD EVENING.

HASAAN EL DIN PASHA.

HOW DO YOU DO?

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

I HATE THIS NIGHTGOWN.

I HATE ALL
MY NIGHTGOWNS,

AND I HATE
ALL MY UNDERWEAR, TOO.

MY DEAR, YOU HAVE
LOVELY THINGS.

BUT I'M NOT
2OO YEARS OLD.

WHY CAN'T I SLEEP
IN PAJAMAS?

PAJAMAS!

JUST THE TOP PART.

DID YOU KNOW
THERE ARE PEOPLE

WHO SLEEP WITH ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING ON AT ALL?

I REJOICE TO SAY
THAT I DID NOT.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

LISTEN.

OH, ANN,
YOUR SLIPPERS.

PLEASE PUT ON
YOUR SLIPPERS

AND COME AWAY
FROM THE WINDOW.

YOUR MILK
AND CRACKERS.

EVERYTHING WE DO
IS SO WHOLESOME.

THEY'LL HELP YOU
TO SLEEP.

I'M TOO TIRED
TO SLEEP.

I SHAN'T SLEEP
A WINK.

NOW, DEAR,
IF YOU DON'T MIND,

TOMORROW'S "SHEDULE"
OR "SKEDULE"...

WHICHEVER YOU PREFER.
BOTH ARE CORRECT.

8:30... BREAKFAST WITH
THE EMBASSY STAFF.

9:00... THE POLINARI
AUTOMOTIVE WORKS.

YOU'LL BE PRESENTED
WITH A CAR.

THANK YOU.

WHICH YOU
WILL NOT ACCEPT.

NO, THANK YOU.

1O:35... AN AGRICULTURAL
ORGANIZATION

PRESENTS YOU
WITH AN OLIVE TREE.

NO, THANK YOU.

WHICH YOU WILL ACCEPT.

THANK YOU.

10:55... THE NEW FOUNDLING
HOME FOR ORPHANS.

YOU WILL PRESIDE OVER
THE LAYING OF THE CORNERSTONE.

SAME SPEECH
AS LAST MONDAY.

TRADE RELATIONS.

YES.

FOR THE ORPHANS?

OH, NO, NO.
THE OTHER ONE.

YOUTH AND PROGRESS.

PRECISELY.

11:45... BACK HERE
TO REST.

NO, THAT'S WRONG.

11:45... CONFERENCE HERE
WITH THE PRESS.

SWEETNESS
AND DECENCY.

1:00 SHARP... LUNCH WITH
THE FOREIGN MINISTRY.

YOU WILL WEAR YOUR
WHITE LACE AND CARRY

VERY SMALL VERY SMALL
PINK ROSES. PINK ROSES.

3:05...

PRESENTATION
OF A PLAQUE.

THANK YOU.

4:10... REVIEW SPECIAL GUARD
OF CARABINIER POLICE.

NO, THANK YOU.

4:45... BACK HERE...

HOW DO YOU DO?
CHARMED.

STOP! STOP!
STOP! STOP!

(CRYING)

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT DIDN'T SPILL.

I DON'T CARE
IF IT SPILLED!

I DON'T CARE
IF I DROWNED IN IT!

MY DEAR, YOU'RE ILL.

I'LL SEND
FOR DR. BONNACHOVEN.

I DON'T WANT
DR. BONNACHOVEN!

PLEASE LET ME
DIE IN PEACE.

YOU'RE NOT DYING.

LEAVE ME!

LEAVE ME!

IT'S NERVES.
CONTROL YOURSELF, ANN.

I DON'T WANT TO!

YOUR HIGHNESS!

I'LL GET
DR. BONNACHOVEN.

IT'S NO USE.

I'LL BE DEAD
BEFORE HE GETS HERE.

(SOB)

SHE'S ASLEEP.

SHE WAS IN HYSTERICS
THREE MINUTES AGO,
DOCTOR.

Are you asleep, ma'am?

NO!

I'LL ONLY DISTURB
YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS A MOMENT.

I'M VERY ASHAMED,
DR. BONNACHOVEN.

I... SUDDENLY,
I WAS CRYING.

HMM! TO CRY...

A PERFECTLY
NORMAL THING TO DO.

IT'S MOST IMPORTANT
SHE BE CALM AND RELAXED

FOR THE PRESS
CONFERENCE, DOCTOR.

DON'T WORRY, DOCTOR.

I'LL BE CALM
AND RELAXED.

I'LL BOW,
AND I'LL SMILE.

I'LL IMPROVE TRADE
RELATIONS AND...

(CRYING)

THERE SHE GOES AGAIN.
GIVE HER SOMETHING, DOCTOR.

UNCOVER HER ARM.

WHAT'S THAT?

SLEEP, CALM...
THIS WILL RELAX YOU

AND MAKE YOUR HIGHNESS
FEEL A LITTLE HAPPY.

IT'S A NEW DRUG,
QUITE HARMLESS.

(THUD)

THERE.

I DON'T FEEL
ANY DIFFERENT.

YOU WILL. IT MAY TAKE
A LITTLE TIME TO TAKE HOLD.

JUST LIE BACK.

CAN I KEEP
JUST ONE LIGHT ON?

OF COURSE.

BEST THING I KNOW

IS TO DO EXACTLY WHAT
YOU WISH FOR A WHILE.

THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

OH, THE GENERAL!
DOCTOR, QUICK!

OH!

HA!

I'M PERFECTLY
ALL RIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT,
MA'AM.

GOOD NIGHT, MA'AM.

GOOD NIGHT, DOCTOR.

(MUSIC)

(VOICES AND LAUGHTER)

(CLANK)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(HORN HONKS)

(YAWN)

BET 500.

500. HOW MANY?

ONE.

I'LL TAKE ONE.

THREE.

FOOLISH BOY.

TWO FOR PAPA.

500 MORE.

WITHOUT LOOKING.

500, AND, UH...
I'LL RAISE YOU
1,000.

TWO PAIRS.

OH, I GOT THREE
SHY LITTLE SEVENS.

A NERVOUS STRAIGHT.

COME HOME,
YOU FOOLS.

LOOK AT THAT.
6,500.

NOT BAD.
THAT'S 1O BUCKS.

ONE MORE ROUND,

AND I'M THROWING
YOU GENTS OUT
IN THE SNOW.

SAY!

I GOT TO
GET UP EARLY.

DATE WITH HER
ROYAL HIGHNESS,

WHO WILL GRACIOUSLY
POSE FOR PICTURES.

EARLY? MY PERSONAL
INVITATION SAYS 11:45.

COULDN'T BE BECAUSE
YOU'RE AHEAD?

IT COULD.

IT WORKS OUT FINE FOR ME.
THIS IS MY LAST 5,000.

YOU HYENAS WON'T GET IT.
THANKS, IRVING.

SEE YOU AT ANNIE'S
LITTLE PARTY

IN THE MORNING.

CIAO, JOE.

GOOD NIGHT, JOE.

ALL RIGHT, A LITTLE
SEVEN-CARD STUD.

SO HAPPY.

HOW ARE YOU
THIS EVENING?

MMM... MMM...

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
HEY, WAKE UP.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
DELIGHTED.

WAKE UP.

NO, THANK YOU.
CHARMED.

CHARMED, TOO.

YOU MAY SIT DOWN.

I THINK
YOU BETTER SIT UP.

YOU'RE MUCH
TOO YOUNG TO GET

PICKED UP
BY THE POLICE.

POLICE?

YEP. POLICE.

2:15 AND BACK HERE
TO CHANGE. 2:45...

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WHO
CAN'T HANDLE LIQUOR

SHOULDN'T DRINK IT.

"IF I WERE DEAD
AND BURIED

"AND I HEARD
YOUR VOICE,

"BENEATH THE SOD,
MY HEART OF DUST

WOULD
STILL REJOICE."

DO YOU KNOW
THAT POEM?

HUH! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE WELL-READ...
WELL-DRESSED...

SNOOZING AWAY
IN A PUBLIC STREET.

WOULD YOU CARE
TO MAKE A STATEMENT?

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS

IS A RETURN TO
SWEETNESS AND DECENCY

IN THE SOULS OF
ITS YOUNG MEN AND...

(GROAN)

YEAH, I, UH, COULDN'T
AGREE WITH YOU MORE,

BUT, UH...

(WHISTLE)

GET YOURSELF SOME COFFEE.
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

LOOK, YOU TAKE
THE CAB.

MMM...

CLIMB IN THE CAB
AND GO HOME.

MMM...

SO HAPPY.

YOU GOT ANY MONEY?

NEVER CARRY MONEY.

THAT'S A BAD HABIT.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL DROP YOU OFF.

IT'S A TAXI!

WELL, IT'S NOT
THE SUPER CHIEF.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

HMM? COLISEUM.

NOW, COME ON.
YOU'RE NOT THAT DRUNK.

HA HA HA!
YOU'RE SO SMART.

I'M NOT DRUNK
AT ALL.

I'M JUST BEING
VERY HAPPY.

HEY, NOW, DON'T GO
TO SLEEP AGAIN. COME ON.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

UN MOMENTO.

LOOK, NOW, WHERE DO
YOU WANT TO GO?

WHERE SHALL
I TAKE YOU?

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

MMM...

COME ON. COME ON.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

OH... I...

COME ON!
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

MMM! OH...
COLISEUM.

SHE LIVES
IN THE COLISEUM.

IS WRONG ADDRESS.
NOW, LOOK, SIGNORE.

FOR ME, IT IS
VERY LATE NIGHT.

I HAVE THREE BAMBINOS,
THREE BAMBINOS.

YOU KNOW, BAMBINO.
UH... WAH!

MY TAXI GO HOME.

I GO HOME, TOO.
TOGETHER.

VIA MARGUTTA 51.

VIA MARGUTTA 51.
OH, MOLTO BENE!

HERE IS VIA MARGUTTA 51.

I AM VERY HAPPY.

(TURNS OFF METER)

1,000 LIRE.
MILA LIRE.

MILA.

CINQUEMILA.

1, 2, 3, 4 MILLE.

OK. MILA PER TE.

FOR ME?

SI.

OH, GRAZIE MILLE.

OK, OK. NOW, LOOK.

TAKE A LITTLE BIT
OF THAT...

YEAH?

TAKE HER WHEREVER
SHE WANTS TO GO, HMM?

CAPITO? CAPITO.

BUONA NOTTE.

GOOD NIGHT.
BUONA NOTTE.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

OH!

MOMENTO,
MOMENTO, MOMENTO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
AS SOON AS SHE WAKES UP,

SHE'LL TELL YOU WHERE
SHE WANTS TO GO. OK?

MOMENTO. MY TAXI
IS NOT FOR SLEEP.

MY TAXI. NO SLEEP.
UNDERSTAND?

LOOK, PAL. THIS IS
NOT MY PROBLEM, SEE?

I'VE NEVER
SEEN HER BEFORE.

IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
IS NOT MY PROBLEM.

WHAT YOU WANT?

YOU DON'T
WANT GIRL, YES?

ME DON'T WANT GIRL.

POLICE!
MAYBE SHE WANT GIRL.

STA CALMO. STA CALMO.
OK, OK, OK.

VA BENE. VA BENE.

SO HAPPY...

SO HAPPY...

I OUGHT TO HAVE
MY HEAD EXAMINED.

IS THIS
THE ELEVATOR?

IT'S MY ROOM.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY
TO MENTION IT,

BUT THE DIZZINESS
IS GETTING WORSE.

CAN I SLEEP HERE?

THAT'S
THE GENERAL IDEA.

CAN I HAVE
A SILK NIGHTGOWN

WITH ROSEBUDS
ON IT?

I'M AFRAID
YOU'LL HAVE TO

ROUGH IT TONIGHT...
IN THESE.

PAJAMAS!

SORRY, HONEY,
BUT I HAVEN'T

WORN A NIGHTGOWN
IN YEARS.

WILL YOU HELP ME
GET UNDRESSED,

PLEASE?

UH...

OK.

UH... THERE YOU ARE.
YOU CAN HANDLE THE REST.

MAY I HAVE SOME?

NO.

NOW, LOOK...

THIS IS VERY UNUSUAL.

I'VE NEVER BEEN ALONE
WITH A MAN BEFORE,

EVEN WITH MY DRESS ON.

WITH MY DRESS OFF,
IT'S MOST UNUSUAL.

HA! I DON'T SEEM
TO MIND.

DO YOU?

I THINK I'LL GO OUT
FOR A CUP OF COFFEE.

YOU'D BETTER
GET TO SLEEP.

MMM...

OH, NO.
ON THIS ONE.

SO TERRIBLY NICE.

HEY. HEY.

THESE ARE PAJAMAS.
THEY'RE TO SLEEP IN.

YOU'RE TO CLIMB
INTO THEM.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

THANK YOU.

AND YOU'RE SLEEPING
ON THE COUCH,

NOT ON THE BED.

IS THAT CLEAR?

DO YOU KNOW
MY FAVORITE POEM?

YOU ALREADY RECITED
THAT FOR ME.

"ARETHUSA ROSE
FROM HER COUCH OF SNOWS

IN THE ACROCERAUNIAN
MOUNTAINS."

KEATS.

SHELLEY.

KEEP YOUR MIND
OFF POETRY
AND ON THE PAJAMAS.

KEATS.

SHELLEY.
I'LL BE BACK
IN 1O MINUTES.

KEATS.

YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION
TO WITHDRAW.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELL, NO TRACE,
YOUR EXCELLENCY.

HAVE YOU SEARCHED
THE GROUNDS?

FROM THE ATTICS
TO THE CELLAR.

YOU MUST NOT SPEAK
OF THIS TO ANYONE.

THE PRINCESS
IS THE DIRECT HEIR
TO THE THRONE.

THIS MUST BE
TOP CRISIS SECRET.

HAVE I YOUR PLEDGE?

YES, SIR.

VERY WELL.

NOW WE MUST NOTIFY
THEIR MAJESTIES.

UH...

OHH...

(DOOR SLAMS)

(SCRAPES
AGAINST FLOOR)

UMM.

SO HAPPY.

THE PLEASURE'S MINE.

AH, SCREWBALL.

(STRIKING THE HOUR)

HOLY SMOKE.
THE PRINCESS INTERVIEW.

HMM?

11:45.

AHH.

AH, SHH.

HI, JOE.

GOOD MORNING, JOE.

HELLO, HONEY.

MR. HENNESSY
HAS BEEN
LOOKING FOR YOU.

UH-OH.

THANKS A LOT, HON.

COME IN!

YOU'VE BEEN
LOOKING FOR ME?

JUST COMING TO WORK?

WE START OUR DAYS
AT 8:3O.

WE PICK UP
OUR ASSIGNMENTS...

I PICKED MINE UP
LAST NIGHT.

WHAT ASSIGNMENT
WAS THAT?

THE PRINCESS. 11:45.

YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN
TO THE INTERVIEW?

SURE. I JUST GOT BACK.

WELL, WELL, WELL,
ALL MY APOLOGIES.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS
VERY INTERESTING.

DID SHE ANSWER
ALL THE QUESTIONS
ON THE LIST?

OF COURSE. I'VE
GOT THEM SOMEWHERE.

DON'T DISTURB YOURSELF.
I HAVE A COPY HERE.

HOW DID
HER HIGHNESS REACT TO
A EUROPEAN FEDERATION?

SHE THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST FINE.

SHE DID?

WELL, SHE THOUGHT
THAT THERE WOULD BE

TWO EFFECTS...

THE DIRECT
AND THE INDIRECT.

REMARKABLE.

NATURALLY, SHE THOUGHT
THAT THE INDIRECT

WOULD NOT BE AS DIRECT...
AS THE DIRECT.

THAT IS,
NOT RIGHT AWAY.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

LATER ON, OF COURSE,
WELL...

NOBODY KNOWS.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

THAT WAS A SHREWD
OBSERVATION.

THEY FOOL YOU,
YOU KNOW,

THESE ROYAL KIDS.

THEY'VE GOT
A LOT MORE

ON THE BALL
THAN WE SUSPECT.

HOW DID
SHE FEEL ABOUT

THE FUTURE FRIENDSHIP
OF NATIONS?

YOUTH.

SHE FELT THAT
THE YOUTH OF THE WORLD

MUST LEAD THE WAY TO
A BETTER... WORLD.

ORIGINAL.

UH, BY THE WAY,
WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?

OH, YOU MEAN,
WHAT DID SHE HAVE ON?

WELL, THAT'S USUALLY
WHAT IT MEANS.

WHAT'S WRONG?
IS IT A LITTLE
WARM IN HERE?

NO. I JUST
HURRIED OVER HERE.

NATURALLY,
WITH A STORY
OF THESE DIMENSIONS.

DID YOU SAY SHE
WAS WEARING GRAY?

SHE USUALLY WEARS GRAY.

WELL, IT WAS A KIND
OF A GRAY.

I THINK I KNOW
THE DRESS YOU MEAN.

IT HAS
A GOLD COLLAR.

THAT'S THE ONE.

I THINK YOU DESCRIBED IT
VERY WELL...

IN VIEW OF THE FACT
THAT HER HIGHNESS

WAS TAKEN VIOLENTLY
ILL AT 3 A.M.,

PUT TO BED
WITH A FEVER,

AND HAS HAD ALL HER
APPOINTMENTS FOR TODAY

CANCELED IN TOTO!

IN... TOTO?

YES, MR. BRADLEY,
IN TOTO.

(GULP)

IT'S CERTAINLY
PRETTY HARD TO SWALLOW.

IN VIEW OF THE FACT
THAT YOU JUST LEFT HER.

IT'S ALL OVER
THE FRONT PAGE

OF EVERY NEWSPAPER
IN ROME.

OK, I OVERSLEPT.
IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.

IF YOU READ
A MORNING PAPER,

YOU MIGHT DISCOVER
LITTLE ITEMS

THAT MIGHT
PREVENT YOU FROM
GETTING IMMERSED

IN SUCH
A GOLD-PLATED,
STAR-SPANGLED LIE

AS YOU HAVE
JUST TOLD.

IF I WERE YOU,
I'D TRY SOME
OTHER BUSINESS...

LIKE
MATTRESS TESTING.

IS THIS THE PRINCESS?

YES, THAT IS
THE PRINCESS.

IT ISN'T
ANNIE OAKLEY

OR MADAME
CHIANG KAI-SHEK.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK.

YOU MIGHT
BE INTERVIEWING HER
AGAIN SOMEDAY.

AM I FIRED?

NO. WHEN I WANT
TO FIRE YOU,

YOU WON'T HAVE
TO ASK... YOU'LL KNOW!

THE MAN'S MAD.

(RING)

PRONTO.

GIOVANNI, IT'S JOE BRADLEY.

I WANT YOU TO HURRY
UP TO MY PLACE

AND SEE IF THERE'S
SOMEBODY THERE ASLEEP.

AHA. SURE, MR. JOE.

I LOOK SUBITO.

YOU WAIT. ASPETTA.

MR. JOE?

YEAH! TELL ME. TELL ME.

BELLISSIMA!

GIOVANNI, I LOVE YOU.
NOW, LISTEN.

YES, MR. JOE?

A GUN?

NO!

YES, A GUN, A KNIFE,
ANYTHING...

BUT NOBODY GOES IN,
AND NOBODY GOES OUT.

CAPITO?

OK.

YOU STILL HERE?

HOW MUCH WOULD
A REAL INTERVIEW

WITH THIS DAME BE WORTH?

ARE YOU REFERRING
TO HER HIGHNESS?

I'M NOT REFERRING
TO ANNIE OAKLEY.
HOW MUCH?

WHAT DO YOU CARE?
YOU GOT NO CHANCE.

BUT IF I DID?

A PLAIN TALK
ON WORLD CONDITIONS
MIGHT BE WORTH $25O.

HER VIEWS ON CLOTHES
WOULD BE WORTH
MORE... 1,000.

DOLLARS?

I'M TALKING ABOUT
HER VIEWS ON EVERYTHING.

HUH?

THE PRIVATE AND SECRET
LONGINGS OF A PRINCESS.

HER INNERMOST THOUGHTS

AS REVEALED TO
YOUR ROME CORRESPONDENT

IN A PRIVATE...
PERSONAL... EXCLUSIVE...

INTERVIEW.

CAN'T USE IT, HUH?

I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D LIKE IT.

COME HERE.

LOVE ANGLE, TOO,
I SUPPOSE?

PRACTICALLY ALL
LOVE ANGLE.

WITH PICTURES.

COULD BE. HOW MUCH?

THAT PARTICULAR STORY
WILL BE WORTH FIVE GRAND

TO ANY NEWS SERVICE.

TELL ME,
IF YOU ARE SOBER,

JUST HOW YOU ARE
GOING TO OBTAIN

THIS FANTASTIC
INTERVIEW.

I'LL ENTER HER SICKROOM
DISGUISED AS A THERMOMETER.

I WANT YOU TO SHAKE
ON FIVE GRAND.

AND YOU REALIZE
HER HIGHNESS LEAVES
FOR ATHENS TOMORROW?

YEP.

I'D LIKE TO MAKE
A LITTLE SIDE BET
WITH YOU.

5OO SAYS YOU DON'T
COME UP WITH THE STORY.

WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT THAT FOR?

I'M SEEING
WHAT DAY IT IS.

IT'S A DEAL!

NOW I'D LIKE YOU
TO SHAKE.

YOU'RE INTO ME
FOR ABOUT 5OO NOW.

WHEN YOU
LOSE THIS BET,

YOU'LL OWE ME A THOUSAND.

WHY, YOU POOR SUCKER,
I'LL PRACTICALLY OWN YOU.

YOU HAVE
PRACTICALLY OWNED ME.

I'M GOING TO WIN
THAT MONEY, THOUGH,

AND BUY A ONE-WAY TICKET
BACK TO NEW YORK.

I LOVE TO HEAR
YOU WHINE.

WHEN I'M BACK
IN A REAL NEWS ROOM,

I'LL ENJOY
THINKING ABOUT YOU

WITH AN EMPTY LEASH
IN YOUR HANDS

AND NOBODY TO TWITCH
FOR YOU.

SO LONG, PIGEON!

(YELLING IN ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

HI, JOE.
WHAT YOU KNOW?

IS EVERYTHING OK,
GIOVANNI?

SI, SIGNORE JOE.

NOBODY SHE'S COME.
NOBODY SHE'S GO.

ABSOLUTELY NOBODY.

SWELL. THANKS A LOT.

OH, UH, GIOVANNI...

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO MAKE SOME MONEY?

MONEY? MAGARI.

THAT'S THE STUFF.

I'VE GOT
A SURE THING.

DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK
IN TWO DAYS.

DOUBLE MY MONEY?

I NEED A LITTLE
INVESTMENT CAPITAL

TO SWING THE DEAL.

IF YOU'LL JUST LEND ME
A LITTLE CASH...

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

YOU OWING ME
TWO MONTHS' RENT,

AND YOU WANT ME
TO LEND YOU MONEY?

YEAH.

NO.

CERTAMENTE NO!

EH?

TOMORROW
YOU'LL BE SORRY.

YOUR HIGHNESS?

UHH.

YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS?

MMM.

YES? WHAT IS IT?

OOH.

(SIREN)

DEAR DR. BONNACHOVEN...

HMM?

OH, SURE, YES,

UH, YOU'RE FINE.
MUCH BETTER.

IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WANT?

SO MANY THINGS.

YES? WELL,
TELL THE DOCTOR.

SO...

TELL THE GOOD DOCTOR
EVERYTHING.

OH... I DREAMT,
AND I DREAMT.

YES? WELL, UH,
WHAT DID YOU DREAM?

I DREAMT I WAS ASLEEP
IN THE STREET,

AND A YOUNG MAN CAME.

HE WAS TALL
AND STRONG.

HE WAS SO MEAN TO ME.

HE WAS?

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

GOOD MORNING.

WHERE'S DR. BONNACHOVEN?

I'M AFRAID
I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY

BY THAT NAME.

WASN'T I JUST
TALKING TO HIM?

AFRAID NOT.

HAVE...
HAVE I HAD AN ACCIDENT?

NO.

QUITE SAFE FOR ME
TO SIT UP, HUH?

OH, PERFECTLY.

THANK YOU.

ARE THESE YOURS?

UH, DID YOU LOSE
SOMETHING?

NO.

W-WOULD YOU BE SO KIND

AS TO TELL ME
WHERE I AM?

THIS IS WHAT
IS LAUGHINGLY KNOWN
AS MY APARTMENT.

DID YOU BRING ME HERE
BY FORCE?

NO, NO, NO.

QUITE THE CONTRARY.

HAVE I BEEN HERE
ALL NIGHT... ALONE?

IF YOU DON'T
COUNT ME, YES.

SO I SPENT THE NIGHT HERE
WITH YOU?

WELL, NOW,
I DON'T KNOW

THAT I'D USE
THOSE WORDS EXACTLY,

BUT, UH...

FROM A CERTAIN ANGLE,
YES.

HOW DO YOU DO?

HOW DO YOU DO?

AND YOU ARE?

BRADLEY.
JOE BRADLEY.

DELIGHTED.

YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW DELIGHTED I AM
TO MEET YOU.

YOU MAY SIT DOWN.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

UH, YOU MAY CALL ME ANYA.

THANK YOU, ANYA.

WOULD YOU LIKE
A CUP OF COFFEE?

WHAT TIME IS IT?

1:3O.

I MUST
GET DRESSED AND GO!

WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?
THERE'S LOTS OF TIME.

I'VE BEEN QUITE
ENOUGH TROUBLE
TO YOU AS IT IS.

TROUBLE? YOU'RE NOT
WHAT I'D CALL TROUBLE.

I'M NOT?

I'LL RUN
A BATH FOR YOU.

THERE YOU ARE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(RING)

HERE WE GO NOW.

(RING)

THERE YOU ARE.

THAT DOES IT.

(RING)

GIVE ME A LITTLE
SLACK, WILL YOU?

(RING)

PRONTO.

IRVING! IT'S JOE.

CAN YOU GET OVER HERE
IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES?

I CAN'T COME NOW, JOE.
I'M BUSY.

OH, NO.

JOE, I'M UP
TO MY EARS IN WORK.

GET INTO
YOUR NEXT OUTFIT,

WILL YOU, HONEY?
THE CANOE.

WHAT KIND OF A SCOOP?

I CAN'T TALK
OVER THE TELEPHONE.

ONE WORD
IN THE WRONG QUARTER,

AND THIS WHOLE THING
MIGHT BLOW SKY-HIGH.

IT MIGHT BE POLITICAL
OR A SENSATIONAL SCANDAL.

IT'S A BIG STORY.
IT'S GOT TO HAVE PICTURES.

I CAN'T COME NOW, JOE.

I'M BUSY,
AND I'M MEETING
FRANCESCA AT ROCCA'S

IN HALF AN HOUR.

AH!

(WATER SPLASHING)

AAH!

MA GUARDA.
COSA FA QUI!

SCUSI.

(YELLING IN ITALIAN)

CAPITO?

NON CAPITO.
DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DON UNNERSTAND?

AH! VERGOGNA!

THERE YOU ARE.

I WAS LOOKING AT ALL
THE PEOPLE OUT HERE.

IT MUST BE FUN TO LIVE
IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.

I CAN GIVE YOU
A RUNNING COMMENTARY
ON EACH APARTMENT.

I MUST GO. I ONLY WAITED
TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE? WHY,
WE'VE ONLY JUST MET.

HOW ABOUT
SOME BREAKFAST?

I'M SORRY.
I HAVEN'T TIME.

MUST BE A PRETTY
IMPORTANT DATE

TO RUN OFF
WITHOUT EATING.

IT IS.

WELL, I'LL GO ALONG
WITH YOU,

WHEREVER YOU'RE GOING.

I CAN
FIND THE PLACE.

THANK YOU FOR
LETTING ME SLEEP
IN YOUR BED.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THINK NOTHING OF IT.

IT WAS VERY
CONSIDERATE OF YOU.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN
UNCOMFORTABLE
ON THAT COUCH.

NO. DO IT
ALL THE TIME!

GOOD-BYE,
MR. BRADLEY.

GOOD-BYE.

OH, GO RIGHT
THROUGH THERE

AND DOWN ALL THE STEPS.

THANK YOU.

WELL, SMALL WORLD.

YES.
I ALMOST FORGOT.

CAN YOU LEND ME
SOME MONEY?

OH, YEAH,
THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY
LAST NIGHT, DID YOU?

HOW MUCH... HOW MUCH WAS IT
THAT YOU WANTED?

I DON'T KNOW
HOW MUCH I NEED.

HOW MUCH
HAVE YOU GOT?

SUPPOSE
WE JUST SPLIT THIS?
HERE'S 1,000 LIRE.

1,000? CAN YOU REALLY
SPARE ALL THAT?

IT'S ABOUT $1.50.

OH.

I'LL ARRANGE
FOR IT TO BE SENT
BACK TO YOU.

WHAT IS
YOUR ADDRESS?

VIA MARGUTTA. 51.

VIA MARGUTTA 51.

JOE BRADLEY.

GOOD-BYE. THANK YOU.

HA! DOUBLE MY MONEY,
EH?

YOU TELL ME WHY
DOUBLE MY MONEY...

TOMORROW.

YEAH, TOMORROW.

(DOG BARKING)

(BELLS RINGING)

(YELLING IN ITALIAN)

(HORN HONKS)

AAH!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

GRAZIE.

WHAT WONDERFUL HAIR
YOU HAVE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

JUST CUT, THANK YOU.

JUST CUT?

WELL, THEN, CUT SO?

HIGHER.

HIGHER?

HERE?

MORE.

HERE?

EVEN MORE.

WHERE?

THERE.

THERE?

ARE YOU SURE, MISS?

I'M QUITE SURE,
THANK YOU.

ALL OFF?

ALL OFF.

OFF.

ARE YOU SURE?

YES.

YES.

OFF!

OFF!

OFF.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

HEY, KIDS!

OFF!

HMM?

THAT'S A NICE
LITTLE CAMERA

YOU HAVE THERE.

AHH, IT'S NICE.

MMM. YOU DON'T MIND
IF I BORROW IT, DO YOU?

MISS WEBER.

JUST FOR A COUPLE
OF MINUTES.

NO. LET GO.
IT'S MY CAMERA.

YOU MUSICIAN, MAYBE?

YOU ARTIST? HUH?

PAINTER?

AH, I KNOW.
YOU MODELLA!

MODEL, HUH?

THANK YOU.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

IT'S PERFECT.

YOU BE NICE
WITHOUT LONG HAIR.

NOW IT'S COOL, HMM?

YES. IT'S JUST
WHAT I WANTED.

GRAZIE.

NOW, WHY YOU NOT
COME DANCING
TONIGHT WITH ME?

YOU SHOULD SEE.
IT'S SO NICE.

IT'S ON A BOAT
ON THE TEVERE...

TIBER... THE RIVER
BY SANT'ANGELO.

MOONLIGHT, MUSIC.
ROMANTICO.

IT'S VERY, VERY...
VERY!

PLEASE? YOU COME?

I WISH I COULD.

BUT... BUT YOUR FRIEND,

I NOT THINK
THEY RECOGNIZE YOU.

NO, I DON'T THINK
THEY WILL.

OH, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

SIGNORINA...

AFTER 9:00,
I WILL BE THERE...

DANCING ON RIVER.

REMEMBER
SANT'ANGELO.

ALL MY FRIENDS...

IF YOU COME,
YOU WILL BE

MOST PRETTY
OF ALL GIRL.

THANK YOU.

GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

UM...
GELATO?

GELATO.

THANK YOU.

GRAZIE.

SIGNORINA,
IL RESTO.

OH. GRAZIE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

MILA LIRE.

1,000 LIRE.

NO MONEY.

NO?

OTTOCENTO LIRE.

I'M SORRY.
I'VE REALLY NO MONEY.

SETECENTO LIRE.

LOOK.

I'M SORRY.

BUONA FORTUNA.

GRAZIE.

BENE.

WELL...

IT'S YOU.

YES, MR. BRADLEY.

OR IS IT?

DO YOU LIKE IT?

YEAH. VERY MUCH.

SO THAT WAS
YOUR MYSTERIOUS
APPOINTMENT.

MR. BRADLEY, I HAVE
A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

CONFESSION?

YES. I RAN AWAY
LAST NIGHT...

FROM SCHOOL.

OH, WHAT WAS
THE MATTER?

TROUBLE
WITH THE TEACHER?

NOTHING LIKE THAT.

YOU DON'T JUST
RUN AWAY FOR NOTHING.

I ONLY MEANT IT TO BE
FOR AN HOUR.

THEY GAVE ME SOMETHING
TO MAKE ME SLEEP.

OH, I SEE.

(CHURCH BELLS RINGING)

NOW I'D BETTER
GET A TAXI AND GO BACK.

BEFORE YOU DO,

WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE A LITTLE TIME
FOR YOURSELF?

MAYBE ANOTHER HOUR.

LIVE DANGEROUSLY.
TAKE THE WHOLE DAY.

I COULD DO SOME THINGS
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

LIKE WHAT?

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE.

I'D LIKE TO DO
JUST WHATEVER I LIKE

THE WHOLE DAY LONG.

LIKE HAVING
YOUR HAIR CUT?

YES. I'D LIKE TO SIT
IN A SIDEWALK CAFE

AND LOOK IN SHOP WINDOWS,

WALK IN THE RAIN,

HAVE FUN AND MAYBE
SOME EXCITEMENT.

DOESN'T SEEM MUCH
TO YOU, DOES IT?

IT'S GREAT.

TELL YOU WHAT.

WHY DON'T WE DO
ALL THOSE THINGS...

TOGETHER?

DON'T YOU HAVE TO WORK?

WORK? NO.
TODAY'S A HOLIDAY.

YOU DON'T WANT TO DO
THOSE SILLY THINGS.

DON'T I?
FIRST WISH...

ONE SIDEWALK CAFE,
COMING RIGHT UP.

I KNOW
JUST THE PLACE...
ROCCA'S.

WHAT WILL THE PEOPLE
AT SCHOOL SAY

WHEN THEY SEE
YOUR NEW HAIRCUT?

THEY'LL HAVE A FIT.

WHAT WOULD THEY SAY
IF THEY KNEW

I'D SPENT THE NIGHT
IN YOUR ROOM?

DON'T TELL YOUR FOLKS.
I WON'T TELL MINE.

IT'S A PACT.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DRINK?

CHAMPAGNE, PLEASE.

UM, CAMERIERE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

CHAMPAGNE?

SI, SI.

WELL, CHAMPAGNE
PER LA SIGNORINA

AND, UH,
COLD COFFEE FOR ME.

MUST BE QUITE A LIFE
YOU HAVE IN THAT SCHOOL...

CHAMPAGNE FOR LUNCH.

ONLY ON SPECIAL
OCCASIONS.

THE LAST TIME
WAS MY FATHER'S
ANNIVERSARY.

WEDDING?

NO. IT WAS
THE 40th ANNIVERSARY

OF THE DAY
HE GOT HIS JOB.

4O YEARS ON THE JOB.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

WHAT DOES HE DO?

WELL, MOSTLY
YOU MIGHT CALL IT

PUBLIC RELATIONS.

OH, THAT'S HARD WORK.

YES. I WOULDN'T CARE
FOR IT.

DOES HE?

I'VE HEARD HIM
COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.

WHY DOESN'T HE QUIT?

PEOPLE
IN THAT LINE OF WORK

ALMOST NEVER DO
QUIT,

UNLESS IT'S ACTUALLY
UNHEALTHY FOR THEM
TO CONTINUE.

HERE'S TO HIS HEALTH,
THEN.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT
EVERYBODY SAYS.

IT'S ALL RIGHT?

YES, THANK YOU.

WHAT IS YOUR WORK?

OH, I'M, UH...
IN THE SELLING GAME.

REALLY?
HOW INTERESTING.

WHAT DO YOU SELL?

(HORSE WHINNIES)

UH, FERTILIZER.

CHEMICALS.
YOU KNOW, CHEMICALS.

STUFF LIKE THAT.

HUH.

IRVING! WELL, AM I GLAD
TO SEE YOU!

WHY? DID YOU FORGET
YOUR WALLET?

PULL UP A CHAIR.
SIT DOWN WITH US.

THIS IS A GOOD FRIEND,
IRVING RADOVICH.
ANYA, IRVING.

ANYA...

SMITH.

OH. HIYA,
SMITTY.

CHARMED.

HEY, ANYBODY
EVER TELL YOU

YOU'RE A DEAD RINGER
FOR... OW!

UH, WELL, UH,

I GUESS
I'LL BE GOING.

DON'T DO THAT, IRVING.
SIT DOWN. JOIN US.

JOIN US.

WELL, UH,

JUST TILL FRANCESCA
GETS HERE.

TELL ME, MR. RADOVICH,

WHAT IS A RINGER?

OH, WAITER?

IT'S AN AMERICAN TERM,

AND IT MEANS, UH,

ANYONE WHO HAS
A GREAT DEAL OF CHARM.

OH.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

CIAO, IRVING.

CIAO.

OH, CIAO.
COUSINS.

MR. BRADLEY'S
JUST BEEN TELLING ME

ALL ABOUT HIS WORK.

I'D LIKE TO HAVE
HEARD THAT.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

THE SAME AS JOE,
ONLY I'M...

OH!

I'M AWFULLY SORRY,
IRVING.

WHAT...
WHAT ARE YOU...

I'M SORRY.

I CAN TAKE A HINT.
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

YOUR DRINK'S JUST HERE.

TAKE IT EASY.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

SIT DOWN.
THAT'S A GOOD FELLOW.

THAT'S THE BOY.

YOU'RE TW...

YOU'RE TWISTING
MY ARM, YOU KNOW.

JUST BE A LITTLE
MORE CAREFUL NOT TO SPILL.

WHO'S BEEN DOING
THE SPILLING?

YOU.

ME?

YEAH.

WHERE DID YOU FIND
THIS LOONY?

YOU'RE OK.

HERE'S TO YOU, HUH?

HERE'S HOPING
FOR THE BEST.

IF IT WASN'T FOR
THAT HAIR,

I'D SWEAR THAT...

AAH!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

THANKS.

YOU SLIPPED
AND ALMOST
HURT YOURSELF.

I SLIPPED?

I ALMOST HURT MYSELF?

JOE, I DIDN'T SLIP!

YOU'VE GOT
A BAD SPRAIN.

WE'D BETTER GO
AND GET IT FIXED UP.

EXCUSE US
FOR A MINUTE.

I'M SO SORRY.

JOE, NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO?

HAVE YOU GOT
YOUR LIGHTER?

YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO?

LISTEN.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO
FOR FIVE GRAND?

FIVE GRAND?

SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHO I AM
OR WHAT I DO.

THIS IS MY STORY.
I DUG IT UP.

SHE'S REALLY THE...

SHH. YOUR TIN-TYPES
WILL MAKE THIS EPIC

TWICE AS VALUABLE.

"THE PRINCESS
GOES SLUMMING."

YOU'RE IN FOR 25%
OF THE TAKE.

THE TAKE'S 5 Gs.
THAT'S $1,5OO.

IT'S 1,25O.

OK. NOW YOU SHAKE.

LEND ME 30,000.

THAT'S 50 BUCKS.

ARE YOU BUYING
THE CROWN JEWELS?

SHE'S DRINKING
CHAMPAGNE THAT
I CAN'T PAY FOR.

WE'VE GOT TO
ENTERTAIN HER.

WE CAN'T RUN AROUND TOWN
WITH A PRINCESS.

DO YOU WANT IN OR NOT?

THIS I WANT BACK SATURDAY.

OK. NOW WHERE'S
YOUR LIGHTER?

LET'S GO TO WORK.

BETTER NOW?

HUH?

YOUR EAR.

MY EAR? OH, YEAH.
JOE FIXED IT.

WOULD YOU CARE FOR
A CIGARETTE?

YES, PLEASE.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS,
BUT IT'S MY VERY FIRST.

YOUR VERY FIRST?

MM-HMM.

NO SMOKING
IN SCHOOL, HMM?

YOUR FIRST CIGARETTE.

THERE.
THE GISMO WORKS.

WELL, WHAT'S
THE VERDICT?

UH, OK?

NOTHING TO IT.

THAT'S RIGHT.
NOTHING TO IT.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

I'LL STRETCH MY LEGS
A LITTLE HERE.

I'LL PICK THIS ONE UP,
IRVING.

YEAH.
YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

WELL, WHAT SHALL
WE DO NEXT?

SHALL WE MAKE OUT
A LITTLE SCHEDULE?

OH, NOT THAT WORD,
PLEASE.

OH, I DIDN'T MEAN
A WORK... SCHOOL SCHEDULE.

I MEANT A FUN SCHEDULE.

OH, YES.
LET'S JUST GO.

HOW ABOUT YOU?
ARE YOU READY?

UH, YEAH.

LET'S GO.

CIAO, IRVING.

FRANCESCA!

OH, UM, THIS IS...

SMITTY.

SHE'S A GRAND GIRL,
IRVING.

FIVE GRAND, IRVING.

CIAO.

JOE!

WHERE ARE YOU
GOING NOW?

I GOT TO WORK.
I'LL CALL YOU TONIGHT.

LOOK AT THOSE MEN!

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
INCONSPICUOUS.

YOU ASKED
FOR PLAIN CLOTHES.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

AAH!

HEY!
SCUSI.

STOP!
COME BACK HERE!

AAH HA HA!

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

AAH!

HA HA HA!

NO, NO.
I CAN DO IT.

(HORN HONKS)

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

AAH!

(WHISTLES BLOWING)

(SIREN)

(DIALOGUE NOT AUDIBLE)

(LAUGHTER)

OH.

YEAH. OH.

I'M GOING STRAIGHT
FROM NOW ON.

AMERICAN NEWS SERVICE?

WHAT DID HE MEAN?

SAY YOU'RE
WITH THE PRESS,

YOU CAN GET AWAY
WITH ANYTHING.

GOING TO CHURCH
TO GET MARRIED

ON A SCOOTER.

JOE'S A WONDERFUL LIAR.

(VOICES)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

CONGRATULATIONS.
CONGRATULATIONS.

CIAO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK
SO WORRIED.

I WON'T HOLD YOU
TO IT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE
TOO GRATEFUL.

OK, I WON'T.

I'M A GOOD LIAR, TOO,
AREN'T I?

THE BEST I EVER MET.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SAY...

COME WITH ME.

THE MOUTH OF TRUTH.

THE LEGEND IS THAT IF YOU'RE
GIVEN TO LYING

AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THERE,
IT'LL BE BITTEN OFF.

OOH, WHAT
A HORRID IDEA.

LET'S SEE YOU DO IT.

HA HA!
LET'S SEE YOU DO IT.

SURE.

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

HELLO.

YOU BEAST!

IT WAS PERFECTLY
ALL RIGHT!

I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST A JOKE.

YOU NEVER HURT
YOUR HAND.

I'M SORRY.
YOU OK?

YES.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

LOOK OUT!

I'LL PARK
AT THE CORNER.

WHAT DO THEY MEAN,
ALL THESE INSCRIPTIONS?

WELL, EACH ONE REPRESENTS
A WISH FULFILLED.

IT STARTED DURING THE WAR
WHEN THERE WAS AN AIR RAID.

A MAN WITH HIS FOUR CHILDREN
WAS CAUGHT IN THE STREET.

THEY RAN OVER
AGAINST THE WALL

AND PRAYED FOR SAFETY.

BOMBS FELL VERY CLOSE,
BUT NO ONE WAS HURT.

THE MAN RETURNED AND PUT UP
THE FIRST OF THESE TABLETS.

IT'S BECOME
SORT OF A SHRINE.

PEOPLE COME,
AND WHENEVER THEIR
WISHES ARE GRANTED,

THEY PUT UP
ANOTHER PLAQUE.

LOVELY STORY.

READ SOME
OF THE INSCRIPTIONS.

Joe:
MAKE A WISH?

TELL THE DOCTOR?

ANYWAY, THE CHANCES OF IT
BEING GRANTED

ARE VERY SLIGHT.

WELL, WHAT NOW?

I'VE HEARD OF
A WONDERFUL PLACE

FOR DANCING ON A BOAT.

THE BARGES DOWN BY
SANT'ANGELO?

COULDN'T WE GO THERE
TONIGHT?

ANYTHING
YOU WISH.

THEN AT MIDNIGHT,
I'LL TURN INTO A PUMPKIN

AND DRIVE AWAY
IN MY GLASS SLIPPER.

AND THAT'LL BE
THE END OF
THE FAIRY TALE.

WELL, I GUESS IRVING
HAS TO GO NOW.

I DO?

YOU KNOW,
YOUR BIG BUSINESS
DEVELOPMENT.

OH, THE DEVELOPMENT.

CAN'T AFFORD
NOT TO TAKE CARE
OF THAT.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
SMITTY.

GOOD LUCK
WITH THE BIG DEVELOPMENT.

THANKS.

(HOOFBEATS)

(WHISTLES)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

TWO, PLEASE.

GRAZIE.

(SPEAKING
FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

HELLO.

HELLO.

MR. BRADLEY,
IF YOU DON'T MIND
MY SAYING SO,

I THINK
YOU ARE A RINGER.

A WHAT?

OH, THANKS VERY MUCH.

YOU'VE SPENT
THE WHOLE DAY

DOING THINGS I'VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO.

WHY?

IT SEEMED
THE THING TO DO.

I'VE NEVER HEARD
OF ANYBODY SO KIND.

IT WASN'T ANY TROUBLE.

OR SO COMPLETELY
UNSELFISH.

LET'S HAVE A DRINK
AT THE BAR.

OH, FINALMENTE!

THERE YOU ARE!

I LOOK FOR YOU
A LONG TIME.

I THINK MAYBE
YOU NOT COME.

OFF... ALL OFF!

OH, IT'S NICE WITHOUT,
ISN'T IT?

COOL.

OH, VERY, VERY GOOD.

THIS IS MR. BRADLEY.

OH, I MARIO DE LANI.

OLD FRIENDS?

OH, YES. HE CUT MY HAIR
THIS AFTERNOON.

HE INVITED ME HERE
TONIGHT.

WELL, WHAT DID YOU
SAY THE NAME WAS?

DE LANI.
MARIO DE LANI.

I'M VERY GLAD
TO KNOW YOU.

ME, TOO.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

OH, MAY I ENJOY MYSELF...

THE PLEASURE...

DO YOU MIND?

NO, NO.
GO RIGHT AHEAD.

THANK YOU.

STAMPA.

DID I MISS ANYTHING?

JUST IN TIME.

WHO'S SMITTY
DANCING WITH?

HER BARBER.

CUT HER HAIR
THIS AFTERNOON,

MADE A DATE
FOR TONIGHT.

THE PRINCESS
AND THE BARBER.

(BELL RINGING)

WHAT IS IT?

MOMENTO.

AUGUST.

OH! THANK YOU!

UH, BYE.

YOUR HIGHNESS...

YOU'LL DANCE QUIETLY
TOWARDS THE ENTRANCE.

THERE IS A CAR WAITING.

NO.

YOUR HIGHNESS, PLEASE.

YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE.
NON PARLO INGLESE.

LET ME GO.
WILL YOU LET ME GO?

MR. BRADLEY!
LET ME GO!

MR. BRADLEY!

WHOA!

OH!

OH!

OH, YOU...

(YELLING IN ITALIAN)

HIT HIM AGAIN, SMITTY!

(SIREN)

HERE ARE MY CAR KEYS.

THE POLICE.

THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE BRIDGE.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

BRR!

ALL RIGHT?

FINE. HOW ARE YOU?

OH, FINE.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

SAY, YOU KNOW,
YOU WERE GREAT
BACK THERE.

YOU WEREN'T SO BAD
YOURSELF.

UH...

I...

I GUESS WE'D BETTER
GET IRVING'S CAR

AND GET GOING.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC
PLAYING)

THIS IS THE AMERICAN HOUR
FROM ROME,

CONTINUING OUR PROGRAM
OF MUSICAL SELECTIONS.

EVERYTHING RUINED?

NO. THEY'LL BE DRY
IN A MINUTE.

SUITS YOU.

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS
WEAR MY CLOTHES.

IT SEEMS I DO.

I THOUGHT A LITTLE WINE
MIGHT BE GOOD.

SHALL I COOK SOMETHING?

NO KITCHEN.
NOTHING TO COOK.

I EAT OUT.

YOU LIKE THAT?

WELL,
LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS
WHAT ONE LIKES...

IS IT?

NO, IT ISN'T.

TIRED?

A LITTLE.

YOU'VE HAD
QUITE A DAY.

A WONDERFUL DAY.

THIS IS THE AMERICAN HOUR
FROM ROME,

BROADCASTING
A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN.

TONIGHT,
THERE'S NO FURTHER WORD

FROM THE BEDSIDE
OF PRINCESS ANN IN ROME,

WHERE SHE WAS TAKEN ILL
YESTERDAY.

THIS HAS GIVEN RISE TO RUMORS
THAT HER CONDITION IS SERIOUS,

WHICH IS CAUSING ALARM AMONG
THE PEOPLE IN HER COUNTRY.

(TURNS OFF RADIO)

THE NEWS CAN WAIT
TILL TOMORROW.

YES.

MAY I HAVE
A LITTLE MORE WINE?

I'M SORRY I COULDN'T
COOK US SOME DINNER.

DID YOU LEARN HOW
IN SCHOOL?

I'M A GOOD COOK.

I COULD EARN
MY LIVING AT IT.

I CAN SEW,
CLEAN, AND IRON.

I LEARNED
ALL THOSE THINGS.

I JUST HAVEN'T
HAD THE CHANCE TO
DO IT FOR ANYONE.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE
I'LL HAVE TO MOVE.

I'LL GET MYSELF
A PLACE WITH A KITCHEN.

YES.

I SHALL
HAVE TO GO NOW.

ANYA...

THERE'S... SOMETHING
THAT I WANT TO TELL YOU.

NO, PLEASE.

NOTHING.

I MUST GO
AND GET DRESSED.

STOP AT THE NEXT CORNER,
PLEASE.

OK.

HERE?

YES.

I HAVE TO LEAVE YOU NOW.

I'M GOING TO
THAT CORNER THERE
AND TURN.

YOU MUST STAY IN THE CAR
AND DRIVE AWAY.

PROMISE NOT TO WATCH ME
GO BEYOND THE CORNER.

JUST DRIVE AWAY
AND LEAVE ME...

AS I LEAVE YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

I CAN'T THINK
OF ANY WORDS.

DON'T TRY.

YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS,

24 HOURS...
THEY CAN'T ALL BE BLANK.

THEY ARE NOT.

BUT WHAT EXPLANATION
AM I TO OFFER THEIR MAJESTIES?

I WAS INDISPOSED.
I AM BETTER.

MA'AM,
YOU MUST APPRECIATE

THAT I HAVE MY DUTY
TO PERFORM,

JUST AS YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS
HAS HER DUTY.

YOUR EXCELLENCY,

I TRUST YOU WILL
NOT FIND IT NECESSARY

TO USE THAT WORD AGAIN.

WERE I NOT
COMPLETELY AWARE

OF MY DUTY TO MY FAMILY
AND MY COUNTRY,

I WOULD NOT HAVE
COME BACK TONIGHT...

OR, INDEED, EVER AGAIN.

AND NOW,
SINCE I UNDERSTAND

WE HAVE
A VERY FULL SCHEDULE TODAY,

YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION
TO WITHDRAW.

NO MILK AND CRACKERS.

THAT WILL BE ALL,
THANK YOU, COUNTESS.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

(KNOCK KNOCK)

IS IT TRUE?
DID YOU REALLY GET IT?

DID I GET WHAT?

THE PRINCESS STORY.

NO, I DIDN'T GET IT.

WHAT?
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

JOE, YOU CAN'T
HOLD OUT ON ME.

WHO'S HOLDING OUT?

YOU.
I KNOW TOO MUCH.

YOU COME
INTO MY OFFICE

AND ASK
ABOUT AN EXCLUSIVE
ON THE PRINCESS.

NEXT, YOU DISAPPEAR.

THEN I HEAR THAT
THE PRINCESS ISN'T SICK.

YOU BELIEVE EVERY RUMOR
THAT COMES YOUR WAY?

YEAH, AND A LOT
OF OTHER RUMORS

ABOUT A SHINDIG
ON A BARGE BY THE RIVER

AND THE ARREST OF EIGHT
SECRET SERVICE MEN.

THEN COMES THE NEWS
OF THE LADY'S
MIRACULOUS RECOVERY.

IT ALL ADDS UP.

DON'T THINK YOU'LL RAISE
THE PRICE OF THAT STORY.

A DEAL'S A DEAL.

COME ON, COME ON,
WHERE IS THAT STORY?

I HAVE NO STORY.

THEN WHAT WAS
THE IDEA OF...

JOE!

MAN, WAIT TILL
YOU SEE THESE.

HIYA, MR. HENNESSY.
YOU GOT HERE ON TIME.

WAIT TILL YOU
GET A LOOK...

WHAT'S THE IDEA?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
CHARGING IN HERE
AND SPILLING THINGS?

I SPOKE TO YOU ABOUT THAT
ONCE BEFORE, REMEMBER?

JOE,
LOOK AT MY PANTS.

COME DRY THEM OFF.

NUTS TO THAT.

DID YOU TELL HIM
ABOUT SMITTY?

SMITTY?

IRVING.

WAIT TILL...

THERE YOU GO AGAIN,
IRVING.

JOE.

ALL RIGHT,
SAVE THAT TILL LATER.

WHY DON'T YOU
GO HOME AND SHAVE?

SHAVE?

OR KEEP QUIET

TILL MR. HENNESSY AND I
FINISH TALKING.

HEY, WHAT KIND
OF A ROUTINE IS THAT?

WHO'S SMITTY?

A GUY THAT WE MET.

WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO SEE?

IRVING'S DAMES.
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THEM.

UH, MAYBE YOU WOULD.

WHEN YOU CAME
INTO MY OFFICE...

I THOUGHT I HAD A LEAD.
I WAS WRONG.

THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.
THERE IS NO STORY.

SHE'S HOLDING
THE PRESS INTERVIEW TODAY.

SAME TIME, SAME PLACE.

MAYBE THAT'S ONE STORY
YOU CAN GET.

AND YOU OWE ME
5OO BUCKS!

TAKE IT OUT OF MY SALARY...
5O BUCKS A WEEK.

DON'T THINK I WON'T.

(DOOR CLOSES)

HEY, WHAT GIVES?

HAVE WE HAD
A BETTER OFFER?

IRVING,
I DON'T KNOW JUST HOW
TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT...

WAIT TILL I
SIT DOWN.

WELL, IN REGARD
TO THE STORY THAT
GOES WITH THESE...

THERE IS NO STORY.

WHY NOT?

I MEAN, NOT AS FAR
AS I'M CONCERNED.

UH... HEY, THE PICTURES
CAME OUT PRETTY WELL.

YOU... WANT TO HAVE
A LOOK AT THEM?

HUH?

HOW ABOUT A BLOWUP

FROM A NEGATIVE
THAT SIZE, HUH?

OH, THAT'S HER
FIRST CIGARETTE, HUH?

OH, YEAH.

HEY,
THE MOUTH OF TRUTH.

HA HA HA!

HERE'S THE CAPTION
I THOUGHT OF...

"BARBER CUTS IN."
HUH?

I FIGURED THIS
WOULD BE THE KEY SHOT
FOR THE LAYOUT...

"THE WALL WHERE
WISHES COME TRUE."

JOE, THAT'S GOOD.

LEAD OFF WITH THAT,
THEN FOLLOW UP
WITH THE WISHES.

I DUG THAT UP
OUT OF THE FILE.

"PRINCESS
INSPECTS POLICE."

YEAH.

"POLICE
INSPECTS PRINCESS."

OH!

HOW ABOUT... OH!

I GOT A TOPPER
FOR YOU.

WOW!

IS THAT A SHOT, JOE?

WHAT A PICTURE!

"BODYGUARD
GETS BODY BLOW."

HOW ABOUT THIS...

"CROWNED HEAD."
HUH?

OH, I GET IT!

THAT'S...
JOE, YOU GOT...

SHE'S FAIR GAME,
JOE.

IT'S ALWAYS
OPEN SEASON
ON PRINCESSES.

YOU MUST BE
OUT OF YOUR MIND.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT...

I CAN'T PREVENT YOU
FROM SELLING THE PICTURES,

IF YOU WANT TO.

YOU'LL GET A GOOD PRICE.

YEAH!

YOU GOING TO
THE INTERVIEW?

ARE YOU GOING?

YEAH.
IT'S AN ASSIGNMENT,
ISN'T IT?

YEAH.

I'LL SEE YOU.

IT AIN'T MUCH,
BUT IT'S HOME.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
PLEASE APPROACH.

LA SUA ALTEZZA REALE...

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS.

YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS,

THE LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN
OF THE PRESS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS WILL NOW
ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.

I BELIEVE
AT THE OUTSET,
YOUR HIGHNESS,

THAT I SHOULD
EXPRESS THE PLEASURE
OF ALL OF US

AT YOUR RECOVERY FROM
THE RECENT ILLNESS.

THANK YOU.

DOES YOUR HIGHNESS
BELIEVE THAT FEDERATION

WOULD BE
A POSSIBLE SOLUTION

TO EUROPE'S
ECONOMIC PROBLEMS?

I AM IN FAVOR
OF ANY MEASURE

WHICH WOULD LEAD TO CLOSER
COOPERATION IN EUROPE.

AND WHAT, IN THE OPINION
OF YOUR HIGHNESS,

IS THE OUTLOOK FOR
FRIENDSHIP AMONG NATIONS?

I HAVE EVERY
FAITH IN IT,

AS I HAVE FAITH IN
RELATIONS BETWEEN PEOPLE.

MAY I SAY, SPEAKING
FOR MY OWN PRESS SERVICE,

WE BELIEVE THAT
YOUR HIGHNESS' FAITH

WILL NOT BE UNJUSTIFIED.

I AM SO GLAD
TO HEAR YOU SAY IT.

WHICH OF
THE CITIES VISITED

DID YOUR HIGHNESS
ENJOY THE MOST?

EACH IN
ITS OWN WAY...

EACH IN ITS OWN WAY
WAS... UNFORGETTABLE.

IT WOULD
BE DIFFICULT TO...

ROME.

BY ALL MEANS... ROME.

(ALL TALKING
AT ONCE)

I WILL CHERISH
MY VISIT HERE

IN MEMORY
AS LONG AS I LIVE.

DESPITE YOUR INDISPOSITION,
YOUR HIGHNESS?

DESPITE THAT.

PHOTOGRAPHS
MAY NOW BE TAKEN.

THANK YOU,
LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.

I WOULD NOW
LIKE TO MEET

SOME OF
THE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

OF THE PRESS.

HITCHCOCK,
CHICAGO DAILY NEWS.

I'M SO HAPPY
TO SEE YOU HERE.

SCANZIANI,
LA SUISSE.

KLINGER,
DEUTSCH PRESS AGENTUR.

FROELICH SEHR.

MAURICE MONTABRE,
LE FIGARO.

SYTSKE GALEMA,
DE LINIE, AMSTERDAM.

(SPEAKING
DUTCH)

JACQUES FERRIER,
ICI PARIS.

ENCHANTE.

GROSS,
DAVAR, TEL AVIV.

CORTES CAVANILLAS.
ABC MADRID.

ENCANTADA.

LAMPE. NEW YORK
HERALD TRIBUNE.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

IRVING RADOVICH.
CR PHOTO SERVICE.

HOW DO YOU DO?

MAY I PRESENT
YOUR HIGHNESS

WITH SOME
COMMEMORATIVE PHOTOS

OF YOUR
VISIT TO ROME?

THANK YOU
SO VERY MUCH.

JOE BRADLEY.
AMERICAN NEWS SERVICE.

SO HAPPY,
MR. BRADLEY.

MORIONES.
LA VANGUARDIA, BARCELONA.

STEPHEN HOUSE OF
THE LONDON EXCHANGE
TELEGRAPH.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

DE ALDISIO.
AGENCE PRESS.

(APPLAUSE)

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