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1
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:55,677
If I had to pick a beginning
to this bizarre story,
2
00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:57,682
I guess it would have to be the dream.
3
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,615
Yeah, definitely the dream.
4
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,313
That's when it all started.
5
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:04,879
That's me, Jeremy Capello,
sitting inside the tuba.
6
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,086
If I appear disoriented, it's because
I don't know how to play a tuba
7
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:10,356
or any other musical instrument.
8
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,456
I'm not in the band.
That's Candy Andrews.
9
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:17,299
She's a cheerleader.
I think she likes me.
10
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,930
But for some unknown reason,
I can't keep my eyes
11
00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:22,804
off Darla Blake, musical prodigy.
12
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,639
Juilliard candidate perhaps,
13
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,544
but not what you would call
centerfold material.
14
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:33,450
In fact, Darla Blake is not someone
you would call, period.
15
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,715
Then comes the note.
16
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:39,053
I can't believe it, but I'm fascinated.
17
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,588
"Follow me."
18
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,961
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
19
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,465
So I went for it.
20
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:59,769
Suddenly, I'm in the girls' locker room,
21
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,940
no man's land, the forbidden zone.
22
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,711
I'd heard the horror stories.
23
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:06,547
Men caught in here were castrated
24
00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:09,452
and made to pass out towels for eternity.
25
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,922
A living hell I could do without.
26
00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:16,086
And then I see her.
27
00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:18,027
She's gorgeous.
28
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:20,622
Is this the same Darla Blake?
29
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:24,864
Without being too obvious,
I check out her birthday suit.
30
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,099
She asks me to take a shower with her.
31
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:30,438
I tell her I'm clean, but she insists.
32
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,375
"Make love to me," she says.
33
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:34,777
I tell her, "We're moving too fast."
34
00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:36,838
I offer to take her to lunch instead.
35
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:39,316
L... l...
36
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,910
Suddenly, there's a new babe in my arms.
37
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,752
I'm shocked. I excuse myself
and ask, "Where's Darla?"
38
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:46,485
She tells me to kiss her.
39
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,426
I say, "Whose dream is this anyway?
I'm looking for Darla."
40
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:50,792
She tells me to kiss her again.
41
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:53,593
I refuse. Then things get ugly.
42
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,974
Throw him down!
43
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,157
All units, 7 A85.
44
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:32,500
Code 6 on Kirby and Westheimer.
45
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:34,972
7X23. Roger on your Code 6.
46
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:37,032
Louis, call your son.
47
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,704
- His eggs are ready.
- Jeremy.
48
00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:44,444
Morning.
49
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:45,950
Morning.
50
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:49,511
Morning. Morning, Dad.
51
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,258
Mom, I've got a problem.
52
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,021
What's your problem, Jeremy?
53
00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:58,063
Honest to God, I cannot remember
what Dad looks like.
54
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:02,234
Well, he's still a very handsome man.
55
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,430
Dad, you're bald.
56
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,601
Morning, Mrs. Capello, Mr. Capello.
57
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,647
- Morning, Ralph.
- Sorry I can't stay for breakfast, but...
58
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,409
- We're running late, as usual.
- As usual.
59
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,074
Ralph's right. We have to go.
60
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,483
Ralph, there's a speed trap
over at the Montrose off-ramp.
61
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:21,713
Thanks, Mrs. Capello.
62
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,082
Drive carefully, boys.
63
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,319
We always do.
64
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,964
The same dream, fourth night in a row.
65
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,500
Darla Blake.
66
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:37,763
How can you totally ignore Candy Andrews,
67
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,772
who, by the way, is hot after your tailpipe,
68
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,968
then have perverted dreams
about frigid and rigid Blake?
69
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,068
- It's not perverted.
- You're right.
70
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:47,737
It's not perverted, it's bizarre.
71
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,078
Okay, but what does it mean?
72
00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:53,277
If you're crazy enough to waste
a perfectly good wet dream on Darla Blake,
73
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,684
you need professional help.
74
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:55,880
You don't understand.
75
00:05:55,955 --> 00:06:00,085
I see a side to this girl
that nobody knows exists.
76
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:03,219
I have a theory about this dream of yours.
77
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,196
Okay, when was the last time you got laid?
78
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,891
What does that have to do with anything?
79
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,194
Can't you remember?
80
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:11,566
Not that it's any of your damn business,
but Peterson's party.
81
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:13,036
Jenny Cicero in the closet, remember?
82
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,300
Oh, no! Yeah, I remember.
83
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,605
You bought her a dozen roses
and invited her home to meet your parents.
84
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:19,440
- What is that?
- She's a nice girl.
85
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:22,481
No, you're confusing true love
with common household guilt.
86
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,039
What you need
is an incredible sexual encounter
87
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:28,246
with no strings attached,
no emotional involvements,
88
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:31,119
just pure, unadulterated lust.
89
00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:33,215
- That's not me.
- It could be.
90
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:35,590
I mean, a carefree,
fun-Ioving romp in the sack
91
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:37,094
with but a single purpose...
92
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,393
to use and degrade another human being
93
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:41,399
to satisfy your own selfish pleasures.
94
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,059
Sorry. Not interested.
95
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,400
Sex without guilt is the greatest.
96
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,564
Hi, Pam.
97
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,574
But pick a girl who doesn't go
to this school.
98
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:46,288
- Hi, Flo.
- Hi, Jeremy.
99
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:48,026
- He's in the back.
- Thanks.
100
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:54,597
Hiya, George.
How many today?
101
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:57,472
Oh, the usual.
A dozen or so.
102
00:07:57,543 --> 00:08:00,410
George, what would
all these old ladies do without me?
103
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,175
Probably die of constipation.
104
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,016
Yeah.
105
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,710
You know, just once,
I wish I could make a delivery
106
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,688
to someone who still had all their teeth.
107
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,485
Got a new one for you today.
108
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:14,048
Oh, yeah?
109
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:15,787
Highline Drive?
110
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,523
You're sure about this address, George?
111
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:19,224
That's the address she gave.
112
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,095
This is the old Gardner mansion.
113
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,897
It's been deserted for years.
It's a dump.
114
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,699
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
115
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:28,001
No PoliGrip. No Geritol.
116
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,439
No Deep Heating Rub?
117
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,876
George, we may be on to something here.
118
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,587
This has got to be a joke.
119
00:08:57,603 --> 00:08:59,070
Come in.
120
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:10,442
Hello!
121
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,681
Groceries!
122
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,350
Hello!
123
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,429
Hello?
124
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,195
Hey!
125
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,031
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. Hi.
126
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,966
Where is everybody, huh?
127
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,737
This comes to 13.49.
128
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:40,278
I can take a check, but I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to see some ID.
129
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:46,974
Are you hurt?
130
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:53,988
I'm afraid Nora's a bit nervous
around strangers.
131
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,460
Is anything the matter?
132
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,464
No...
133
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,932
I just thought you were somebody else.
134
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:03,969
Have we met before?
135
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:05,628
I'm not sure.
136
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:09,607
You're bleeding.
I feel responsible.
137
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:10,972
Let me see.
138
00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:13,102
It's really just... just a scratch.
139
00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:16,477
When I was little and scratched my finger,
140
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,949
my mother would always kiss it.
141
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,223
My mother used Band-Aids.
142
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,852
I've got one in the car.
143
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,953
How's that? Better?
144
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,123
Much better.
145
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:37,636
I have to go.
146
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,295
- Jeremy?
- Yes?
147
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,034
- Do you find me attractive?
- Very.
148
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,303
I have to go.
More deliveries, you know?
149
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,901
I like you, Jeremy.
150
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,605
Can you come back later?
151
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,376
You want me to come back?
152
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:51,643
How about tonight?
153
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:55,346
I really, really have to go.
154
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:57,321
Around midnight?
155
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,550
I'm a night owl.
156
00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:01,218
Night owl.
157
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,129
She sucked your what?
158
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,327
My finger, you jerk!
159
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:14,363
My finger!
160
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,931
He lets her get away.
161
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,102
Ralph, there's something
very weird about this woman.
162
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,043
She's the woman in my dreams.
163
00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:22,876
Great. Then she's perfect.
164
00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:25,041
No! Ralph, she's not
the woman of my dreams,
165
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:27,415
the woman in my dreams!
166
00:11:27,486 --> 00:11:29,784
- She knew my name.
- So what?
167
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,289
I didn't tell her my name.
168
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,724
Look, this is like an omen from God, okay?
169
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:36,887
Look at it this way.
You like this woman, right?
170
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:39,863
There's an attraction.
A sexual attraction.
171
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:42,526
- Yeah. I guess so.
- Perfect.
172
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:44,228
Is this someone you could
see being married to?
173
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,793
- No.
- Perfect.
174
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,202
What is the problem?
175
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,605
- Let's go for it, man.
- No.
176
00:11:49,675 --> 00:11:51,734
I promise, nothing will go wrong.
177
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:54,678
- I'll drive.
- It's a school night.
178
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,908
Do it, nerd!
179
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,379
I don't even know her name.
180
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,388
Perfect.
181
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,962
Well, she's still up, stud.
182
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,999
You're absolutely certain
this will make me a better person?
183
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,693
If nothing else, you'll sleep better.
184
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,599
No more nightmares about Darla Blake.
185
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,694
What if I was wrong?
186
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:21,672
What if I misinterpreted
the entire situation?
187
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,710
Jeremy, a beautiful woman
sucked your finger and begged for more.
188
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:26,176
This is a date with destiny.
189
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,611
Now get in there and enjoy it.
190
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,615
All right. All right.
191
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:33,882
How do I look?
192
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,477
Like a vacuum cleaner salesman.
193
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:37,911
No, I'm kidding.
194
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,753
Relax. You look great.
195
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:40,951
All right.
196
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,389
Here goes nothing.
197
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,453
Professor, shouldn't we warn him?
198
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,022
No. Maybe he's one of them.
199
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,091
But what if he isn't?
200
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:58,376
Professor, what if he isn't one of them?
201
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,844
Either way, it's too late now.
202
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,744
Hello?
203
00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:07,679
Hello?
204
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,216
It's me.
205
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:14,852
Hello?
206
00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:21,859
Don't even think about it.
207
00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:26,302
Up there?
208
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,163
Yeah?
209
00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:31,599
Why am I talking to a cat?
210
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,179
Hello.
211
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,063
Hello, Jeremy.
212
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,434
I... The door was open.
213
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,869
I called out, but...
214
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,964
I've been expecting you.
215
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,339
Oh, boy.
216
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:07,607
Go ahead and look at me, Jeremy.
Don't be afraid.
217
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:14,848
People said dreams don't come true.
218
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,411
I'm glad you came.
219
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,582
I want you to know
220
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,923
that I'm usually not
this forward with women.
221
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:40,212
Jeremy. Shit.
222
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:41,871
What do I do?
223
00:14:54,927 --> 00:14:56,394
Jeremy.
224
00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:59,029
Jeremy!
225
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,657
Hurry.
226
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:07,434
You are the most intense,
gorgeous woman I ever met.
227
00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:09,838
I don't even know your name.
228
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,241
Call me Nora.
229
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:14,711
Nora?
230
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:17,044
I thought that was your cat's name.
231
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:18,777
Whatever.
232
00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:33,791
Did you hear something?
233
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:44,467
You're not expecting anyone, are you?
234
00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:57,352
Stop this obscenity!
235
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,948
- Oh, God!
- Get him.
236
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:01,617
Oh, you...
237
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,491
Hey, you!
238
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:05,154
Hey! Stop!
239
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,064
Hey! Hey!
240
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,128
Quick! I knew it!
241
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:15,673
Drive!
242
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,573
- Where are your clothes?
- Screw my clothes!
243
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,169
Let's get the hell out of here!
244
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,816
Milton High School, huh?
245
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,451
Well, we'll see.
246
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:37,119
Professor!
247
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,355
Professor!
248
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,331
I knew it. I knew it.
249
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:51,399
I'm having the most intense
sexual experience of my life,
250
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,206
and some wild man kicks the door down.
251
00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,473
- Who was it?
- Her husband, boyfriend...
252
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:56,775
How the hell am I supposed to know?
253
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,373
- You didn't see anybody?
- No, man.
254
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,782
I saw this white van, but what could I do?
255
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,684
Look. Come on.
This isn't funny.
256
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,382
I could've been killed.
257
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,287
You know, maybe you should
stick to your dreams, man.
258
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,519
You're just not ready for real life yet.
259
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,787
All right, all right.
260
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:19,162
Look, I'm sorry things
didn't work out, okay?
261
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:21,604
We don't have to tell anybody about this.
262
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:24,005
- No, of course not.
- Come on, l...
263
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:26,067
This wasn't one
of my prouder moments, okay?
264
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:28,841
- Hey, you're bleeding.
- What? Oh, my...
265
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:30,381
Wow. It looks like bite marks.
266
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,076
Hey, I am impressed.
267
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:35,086
I told you, she was intense.
268
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,849
- Damn.
- That's right.
269
00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,356
- Later, man.
- See you later.
270
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:40,949
Watch your sheet.
271
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:02,776
What now, Professor?
272
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,373
First we finish here,
273
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:08,284
then we locate the young man.
274
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,849
What a night.
275
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,361
Go!
276
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,749
Wow.
277
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,564
Hey. Hey. Hey.
278
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:22,651
Jeremy, you haven't even
touched your breakfast.
279
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,491
I'm not hungry.
280
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,259
Louis, Jeremy won't eat his breakfast.
281
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,259
- Eat.
- Do you feel all right?
282
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,736
You look a little pale.
283
00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:35,864
I'm fine.
284
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:37,568
I'm just tired.
285
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,577
What'd you do to your neck?
286
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:43,046
I cut myself shaving.
287
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,242
Morning, Mrs. Capello, Mr. Capello.
288
00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:46,409
Morning, Ralph.
289
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,783
- I think I'll stay home today.
- You better go on without him.
290
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,378
I think he's caught something.
291
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:54,959
I'm okay. Sort of.
292
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,494
I'm just not hungry.
293
00:19:57,629 --> 00:19:59,620
Any speed traps today, Mrs. Capello?
294
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,563
Lumkin Street and Fountain.
295
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:05,330
Thanks. See you later, pal.
296
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:06,803
Now, maybe if you'd eat something...
297
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,464
Mom, please.
I'm not hungry.
298
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,030
All right. Go ahead.
Starve yourself.
299
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:11,405
See if I care.
300
00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:21,776
Hey.
301
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,684
You don't feel warm.
302
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,347
I don't get it.
303
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:26,948
I have to go.
304
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,694
But you're sick.
305
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,771
Damn!
306
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:51,338
Well done, Grimsdyke.
You managed to hit the wall.
307
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,976
- Sorry, Professor.
- You think we're playing games here?
308
00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:56,782
The fate of the human race
is hanging in the balance.
309
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:58,322
Sorry, Professor.
310
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:01,291
If my calculations are correct,
and they always are,
311
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,955
20 percent of the human race
will be infected by 1990.
312
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,828
Within the next decade, we'll have lost
the entire North American continent,
313
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:11,995
and by the year 2000,
vampire Armageddon.
314
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:14,464
Damn!
315
00:21:14,539 --> 00:21:16,268
Luckily for us, there's still time
316
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:19,572
while the threat
is still containable, localized.
317
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:23,581
Someday we'll be revered
as heroes, you and I.
318
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:28,416
Meantime, the teenager
in the red convertible must die.
319
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,562
What about Casey Baldwin?
Would you do it with him?
320
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,729
No way. I hate jocks.
321
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,739
What about Matt Newberry?
322
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,741
God, I get hot just mentioning his name!
323
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,674
He's too status conscious.
324
00:21:52,744 --> 00:21:55,508
Darla, you wouldn't do it with anybody.
325
00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:57,172
- Well...
- Wait a minute.
326
00:21:57,249 --> 00:21:58,944
What about Tom Cruise?
327
00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:00,746
Okay, you can put him down as a "maybe."
328
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:04,778
Are you just saying that
because he's not here?
329
00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:06,824
Hi, Jeremy.
I heard you were sick.
330
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:08,484
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he had a bad night.
331
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,255
Excuse us, please.
332
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,728
Ralph, we have to talk.
333
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,459
That girl's crazy about you, man.
I can't believe you don't go for her.
334
00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:16,728
- Not now, Ralph.
- Well, put in a good word for me.
335
00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:20,803
- Do you know anything about that guy?
- Why?
336
00:22:20,872 --> 00:22:22,897
Well, he keeps staring at me in algebra.
337
00:22:22,974 --> 00:22:24,908
That's Jeremy Capello.
338
00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:27,877
- Don't tell me you want him.
- Very funny, Gloria.
339
00:22:27,946 --> 00:22:30,813
- We are in deep shit.
- What are you talking about?
340
00:22:30,882 --> 00:22:33,749
Last night, after we left the Gardner place,
somebody torched it.
341
00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:35,878
- What?
- The police think it was arson.
342
00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:37,717
Don't you see? We were there.
343
00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:39,723
Yeah, but we didn't do anything.
344
00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,725
I mean, nobody even knows we were there...
345
00:22:41,793 --> 00:22:43,283
except the guy who busted in on you.
346
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,386
Right. Exactly.
347
00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:46,454
What if he sets us up?
348
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:48,192
Who's gonna believe
a couple of high school kids?
349
00:22:48,266 --> 00:22:50,393
Okay, look, let's calm down, okay?
Let's not panic.
350
00:22:50,469 --> 00:22:53,666
Ralph, I think someone's following me.
351
00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,138
What are you talking about? Who?
352
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,072
I don't know. Some guy.
353
00:22:57,142 --> 00:22:58,871
Maybe a cop.
354
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:00,912
Cops?
355
00:23:00,979 --> 00:23:03,038
Our lives are over.
356
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,208
We're talking prison.
357
00:23:05,283 --> 00:23:08,150
We're talking homosexual rape
by convicts named Bruno.
358
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:12,054
Hey, listen, we didn't do anything.
359
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:14,592
- We got nothing to worry about, right?
- Right.
360
00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:21,858
There it is, Professor.
361
00:23:21,933 --> 00:23:23,901
That's the demon's car, remember?
362
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:26,836
Be patient, my fat friend.
We'll get him.
363
00:23:28,306 --> 00:23:29,671
Park over there.
364
00:23:42,788 --> 00:23:44,380
Here. I can't drink this.
365
00:23:44,456 --> 00:23:47,186
I thought cherry was your favorite.
366
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,920
Not today.
367
00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:54,255
That's him.
368
00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:58,535
Stay with him!
369
00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:00,594
Don't let him get away!
370
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,799
Hey, hey, hey!
371
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:07,874
Damn!
372
00:24:13,585 --> 00:24:15,780
Tell me that isn't the same
white van from last night.
373
00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:16,946
What?
374
00:24:17,022 --> 00:24:18,614
It's probably nothing to worry about, right?
375
00:24:22,928 --> 00:24:24,225
We're dead.
376
00:24:27,365 --> 00:24:28,889
See? Nothing.
377
00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:32,130
I wasn't really worried.
Just after last night...
378
00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:34,968
After last night, you're paranoid as hell.
379
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,667
Damn right.
380
00:24:38,877 --> 00:24:41,471
- Shit!
- What?
381
00:24:41,546 --> 00:24:44,037
That's him, Nora's husband.
382
00:24:44,115 --> 00:24:46,948
Where'd your mom say
that speed trap was today?
383
00:24:47,018 --> 00:24:50,215
Lumkin Street and Fountain. Why?
384
00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:52,188
Hang on, man.
Here we go.
385
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,700
Yeah!
386
00:25:24,322 --> 00:25:26,483
I am an animal!
387
00:25:45,443 --> 00:25:47,343
I knew it.
388
00:25:55,453 --> 00:25:58,445
- God, I'm sorry!
- You!
389
00:25:58,523 --> 00:26:00,218
Hi...
390
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:03,793
Are you okay?
391
00:26:03,862 --> 00:26:05,762
Nothing's broken,
if that's what you mean.
392
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:07,354
Look, I'm really sorry, okay?
393
00:26:07,432 --> 00:26:09,764
How come you keep staring
at me in algebra?
394
00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:12,325
- I wasn't staring.
- Yes, you were.
395
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:13,894
All right. I was staring.
396
00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:16,167
I didn't mean to make you
feel uncomfortable.
397
00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:19,303
Come on.
398
00:26:19,377 --> 00:26:21,072
- Come on.
- What?
399
00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:23,444
Go. Go!
400
00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:25,039
In here.
401
00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:26,777
You're very weird.
Do you know that?
402
00:26:26,851 --> 00:26:28,318
- Just get down.
- What?
403
00:26:28,386 --> 00:26:29,819
What? What?
404
00:26:29,888 --> 00:26:31,150
- There's someone following me.
- Who?
405
00:26:31,222 --> 00:26:32,621
I don't know.
I think he's a cop.
406
00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:34,124
Really? What did you do?
407
00:26:34,192 --> 00:26:35,750
Nothing. It's a long story.
408
00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:38,057
Jeremy, are you okay?
409
00:26:38,129 --> 00:26:39,790
Do me a favor.
410
00:26:39,864 --> 00:26:43,129
Look in that mirror up there
and tell me who you see.
411
00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:44,896
- No one.
- Okay, good.
412
00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:48,872
Look out that glass door
and tell me who you see.
413
00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:52,438
Nobody.
414
00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:53,602
Nobody?
415
00:26:55,146 --> 00:26:56,545
No, there was someone out there.
416
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,048
There was this weird guy.
417
00:26:58,116 --> 00:26:59,981
Okay, that's it.
418
00:27:00,051 --> 00:27:02,884
This has really been enlightening,
but I'm needed back on Earth.
419
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:04,649
Don't let him see you leave the cooler!
420
00:27:04,723 --> 00:27:05,883
No problem.
421
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:08,755
I'm carrying a can of invisible hair spray.
422
00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:24,899
How you feeling, Jeremy?
423
00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:27,240
I'm okay. I'm just tired.
424
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,746
Well, drink plenty of liquids.
That's the thing.
425
00:27:29,814 --> 00:27:32,476
Yeah. I think it's a protein deficiency.
426
00:27:32,550 --> 00:27:34,347
I'm making a protein shake.
427
00:27:34,419 --> 00:27:36,614
Your mom said a girl
named Candy called today.
428
00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:40,448
That's a great name.
429
00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:43,551
Candy. Sounds yummy.
430
00:27:43,628 --> 00:27:45,425
Yeah. She's a cheerleader.
431
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:46,862
Blonde hair, all that stuff.
432
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:48,091
Big deal.
433
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:49,997
Women can really be a bother, can't they?
434
00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:52,468
Calling you all the time, wanting to go out.
435
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:55,665
It's missing something.
436
00:27:55,740 --> 00:27:58,937
Well, it's been nice having this little
man-to-man chat with you, son.
437
00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:00,739
Night, Dad.
438
00:28:58,269 --> 00:29:00,260
Protein drink, huh?
439
00:29:17,288 --> 00:29:19,279
Wake up, Jeremy.
440
00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:22,517
Jeremy.
441
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,221
We have to talk.
442
00:29:24,295 --> 00:29:25,489
Shit!
443
00:29:26,998 --> 00:29:29,125
I'm too young to go to jail.
444
00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:32,835
Permit me to introduce myself.
445
00:29:32,904 --> 00:29:35,065
I am Modoc, at your service.
446
00:29:35,140 --> 00:29:36,937
You mean you're not a cop?
447
00:29:37,008 --> 00:29:40,637
Jeremy, it has come to my attention
that you have recently had
448
00:29:40,712 --> 00:29:44,876
a sordid sexual encounter
with a strange and beautiful woman.
449
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:46,940
It wasn't sordid.
450
00:29:47,018 --> 00:29:48,883
You were bitten by this woman,
were you not?
451
00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:51,046
That's none of your damn business!
452
00:29:51,122 --> 00:29:53,716
Jeremy, this woman was...
453
00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:56,784
how shall I say... infected.
454
00:29:56,861 --> 00:29:58,886
Oh, God.
455
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:01,932
She looked so clean.
456
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,865
It's all right.
457
00:30:03,935 --> 00:30:07,393
I'll cooperate, but please
don't tell my parents.
458
00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:12,739
I think I'm missing something
in the translation here.
459
00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:17,509
You're not from the health department.
460
00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:19,243
No.
461
00:30:27,025 --> 00:30:29,619
All right.
What is this all about?
462
00:30:29,694 --> 00:30:32,185
Have you experienced anything strange
463
00:30:32,263 --> 00:30:34,857
or unusual during the past 24 hours?
464
00:30:34,933 --> 00:30:36,560
Just you.
465
00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:40,193
How about them?
466
00:30:40,271 --> 00:30:42,296
A couple of stupid dogs.
Big deal.
467
00:30:42,373 --> 00:30:44,238
They know, Jeremy.
468
00:30:44,309 --> 00:30:47,676
When that woman bit you,
she transferred a legacy unto you...
469
00:30:47,745 --> 00:30:50,908
the legacy of a secret society
which has endured for centuries.
470
00:30:50,982 --> 00:30:52,506
You're not like other people anymore.
471
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:53,778
Come on.
Who the hell are you?
472
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:55,285
A new awareness is arising within you.
473
00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:56,581
New desires, even as we speak.
474
00:30:56,654 --> 00:30:58,019
- You can feel it, can't you?
- No!
475
00:30:58,089 --> 00:30:59,920
No longer will you tread with ordinary men.
476
00:30:59,991 --> 00:31:01,583
Get to the point!
477
00:31:03,094 --> 00:31:05,892
All right. All right.
478
00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:08,524
In a nutshell, you're alive,
but you're not alive.
479
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,295
You're dead, but you're not dead.
480
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:12,802
Did you ever hear the word "undead"?
481
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:14,930
How about this one..."vampire"?
482
00:31:15,006 --> 00:31:18,407
I hope you've heard that one,
because that's what you are, okay?
483
00:31:18,476 --> 00:31:20,137
A vampire.
484
00:31:21,746 --> 00:31:24,340
I wanted to break it
to you nice and easy, but no.
485
00:31:24,415 --> 00:31:26,645
Everything with you young people
has to be fast, fast, fast.
486
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:29,016
- Get out of here.
- I know. It's a shock.
487
00:31:29,087 --> 00:31:30,952
No one wants to believe
it can happen to them.
488
00:31:31,022 --> 00:31:32,512
- I'm not a vampire.
- What's going on?
489
00:31:32,590 --> 00:31:34,353
Honey?
490
00:31:34,425 --> 00:31:35,858
- Get out of here!
- Jeremy?
491
00:31:35,927 --> 00:31:37,155
Hi.
492
00:31:37,228 --> 00:31:38,855
I thought I heard you talking to somebody.
493
00:31:38,930 --> 00:31:41,398
No. It was the radio.
494
00:31:41,466 --> 00:31:43,934
No. It didn't sound like the radio.
495
00:31:44,002 --> 00:31:46,334
It sounded like a man's voice.
496
00:31:48,940 --> 00:31:51,067
Well, good night.
497
00:32:21,539 --> 00:32:23,507
You leave me alone.
Get out of here!
498
00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:24,563
I am not a vampire!
499
00:32:24,642 --> 00:32:26,974
And what makes you so sure?
500
00:32:27,045 --> 00:32:29,639
Vampires drink virgin blood, right?
501
00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:32,615
I'm not a virgin.
Ask Jenny Cicero.
502
00:32:32,684 --> 00:32:33,776
Louis?
503
00:32:33,851 --> 00:32:35,011
Come here.
504
00:32:35,086 --> 00:32:37,554
Haven't you noticed
your complexion turning pale?
505
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:38,919
What about it?
506
00:32:38,990 --> 00:32:42,084
How about that uncomfortable glare
you're beginning to feel from the sun?
507
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,627
I can explain that.
508
00:32:43,695 --> 00:32:46,255
- Your loss of appetite?
- Protein deficiency!
509
00:32:46,331 --> 00:32:47,958
How about your craving for raw meat?
510
00:32:48,032 --> 00:32:50,523
- More precisely, fresh blood?
- That's not true.
511
00:32:50,601 --> 00:32:52,262
Do you recognize this man?
512
00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:56,600
You are in grave danger, Jeremy.
513
00:32:56,674 --> 00:32:58,471
Wait, wait, wait. This...
514
00:32:58,543 --> 00:33:00,272
This guy's been following me.
515
00:33:00,345 --> 00:33:02,074
We need to talk.
516
00:33:02,146 --> 00:33:03,477
What?
517
00:33:03,548 --> 00:33:05,482
Who's that man?
518
00:33:06,551 --> 00:33:08,018
Get in the car.
519
00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:09,383
I don't know.
520
00:33:09,454 --> 00:33:11,149
He's not from the neighborhood.
521
00:33:14,559 --> 00:33:17,153
This man is Professor Leopold McCarthy,
522
00:33:17,228 --> 00:33:21,164
a noted historian by profession,
a ruthless murderer by choice.
523
00:33:21,232 --> 00:33:23,029
Together with his feeble-minded assistant,
524
00:33:23,101 --> 00:33:25,569
he's waged a war against
our kind for 20 years,
525
00:33:25,636 --> 00:33:29,265
and he will not rest until he has wiped
the last of us from the face of the earth.
526
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:30,329
"Us"?
527
00:33:30,408 --> 00:33:34,105
- Vampires?
- Stop the car, freako.
528
00:33:34,178 --> 00:33:36,612
I'm here to help make the transition
529
00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:40,139
from your old life to your new life
as easy as possible.
530
00:33:40,218 --> 00:33:42,152
For the next few days,
I shall be your tutor
531
00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:44,586
and hopefully your friend.
532
00:33:44,655 --> 00:33:48,853
If you are a vampire,
how can you be out in the daylight?
533
00:33:48,926 --> 00:33:50,826
Undead vampires must remain in the dark.
534
00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:52,829
But you and I are living vampires.
535
00:33:52,897 --> 00:33:55,331
You will find that
and other useful information
536
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,960
covered in this.
537
00:33:58,036 --> 00:33:59,765
"Vampirism.
538
00:33:59,837 --> 00:34:02,772
A Practical Guideto an Alternative Lifestyle"?
539
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,809
That is your Bible.
Read it, learn it, live it.
540
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:08,004
- That's it.
- At least take this.
541
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,344
What? What is this?
542
00:34:10,415 --> 00:34:12,178
That's the name of a reliable
all-night butcher.
543
00:34:13,351 --> 00:34:16,411
There's no getting around it, kid.
Vampires drink blood.
544
00:34:16,487 --> 00:34:19,115
We suggest pigs' blood, B-negative.
545
00:34:19,190 --> 00:34:23,456
I think you'll find it surprisingly
full-bodied with a smooth flavor.
546
00:34:23,528 --> 00:34:25,860
Just pull over and let me out, all right?
547
00:34:25,930 --> 00:34:27,727
All right, all right.
548
00:34:27,799 --> 00:34:29,232
Believe me, I know how you feel.
549
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:32,326
But read your handbook,
get some sunglasses,
550
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,530
and don't fret over drinking a little blood.
551
00:34:34,605 --> 00:34:37,506
Think of it as taking your vitamins.
552
00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:39,236
I am not a vampire!
553
00:34:39,310 --> 00:34:42,177
Well, I'll pop up from time to time
just to see how you're getting on.
554
00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:44,510
Don't bother, 'cause I never want
to see you again.
555
00:34:44,582 --> 00:34:46,709
And I'm not reading this book!
556
00:34:47,885 --> 00:34:50,217
And I'm not a vampire!
557
00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:02,827
I'm intrigued by her.
558
00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:04,834
There's definitely more to this girl
than meets the eye.
559
00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:08,235
Yeah, I hope so, for your sake.
560
00:35:08,306 --> 00:35:09,739
All right, Ralph.
561
00:35:09,807 --> 00:35:13,265
As much as I hate it,
it's your turn to drive.
562
00:35:13,344 --> 00:35:15,835
You're next, Capello.
In the back.
563
00:35:15,913 --> 00:35:19,440
This time, try and stay with him.
564
00:35:19,517 --> 00:35:21,485
I will, Professor.
565
00:35:21,552 --> 00:35:23,417
I warn you, any nonsense,
566
00:35:23,488 --> 00:35:26,389
and I'll make sure
your insurance skyrockets.
567
00:35:27,925 --> 00:35:30,485
Constant, gentle pressure
on the accelerator.
568
00:35:30,561 --> 00:35:32,654
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Turn left here.
569
00:35:32,730 --> 00:35:34,994
You failed to check your mirrors.
570
00:35:37,335 --> 00:35:38,359
Shit!
571
00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:40,131
- I beg your pardon.
- Shit!
572
00:35:40,204 --> 00:35:41,796
What the hell are you doing?
573
00:35:45,776 --> 00:35:48,074
- Yeah!
- Ralph, look out!
574
00:35:55,386 --> 00:35:57,286
Where are you going?
575
00:35:57,355 --> 00:36:00,290
Oh, my God, watch it!
Watch these people!
576
00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,527
"Endangering pedestrians."
577
00:36:10,067 --> 00:36:12,535
Look out!
578
00:36:12,603 --> 00:36:14,036
Easy, easy!
579
00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:19,374
- Watch that guy!
- Hey, look out!
580
00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:21,911
You will never drive in this town again.
581
00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:33,987
Grimsdyke.
582
00:36:34,058 --> 00:36:35,150
That's it!
583
00:36:35,226 --> 00:36:37,160
Fine. Let's bounce this bozo.
584
00:36:37,228 --> 00:36:39,458
Get back here, young man!
585
00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:42,431
Hey! You got a problem, pal?
586
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:43,899
He's attacking!
587
00:36:47,171 --> 00:36:48,433
Oh, shit!
588
00:36:56,347 --> 00:36:57,609
Damn!
589
00:37:00,651 --> 00:37:03,119
- Ralph.
- I saw that!
590
00:37:03,187 --> 00:37:05,655
Your driving frightened
that man into an accident!
591
00:37:05,723 --> 00:37:07,714
More points!
592
00:37:07,792 --> 00:37:10,317
Hey! Come back here!
593
00:37:31,148 --> 00:37:32,638
Hi.
594
00:37:32,717 --> 00:37:35,015
You're staring at me again.
595
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:38,852
Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday.
596
00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,686
I really made a jerk of myself.
597
00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:43,352
You know, you make me very nervous.
598
00:37:43,427 --> 00:37:45,725
I had a dream about you the other night.
599
00:37:45,796 --> 00:37:48,162
Are you gonna gross me out?
600
00:37:48,232 --> 00:37:50,166
No, it wasn't like that.
601
00:37:51,636 --> 00:37:54,833
Would you go out with me sometime?
602
00:37:57,341 --> 00:37:59,741
I don't know. Maybe.
603
00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:02,108
You let me slip through your fingers,
and you'll always regret it.
604
00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:07,947
Well, okay.
605
00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:10,146
- Really?
- Yeah.
606
00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:13,713
Great! I'll pick you up at 7:00.
607
00:38:13,791 --> 00:38:16,419
- Wait. Tonight?
- Why not?
608
00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:20,123
What did he want?
609
00:38:20,197 --> 00:38:23,030
Guess what.
I've got a date for tonight!
610
00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:24,761
Not with that geek.
611
00:38:24,835 --> 00:38:26,462
Darla, he's all wrong.
612
00:38:26,537 --> 00:38:29,165
Shut up, Gloria.
613
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,765
He dreamed about me.
614
00:38:55,599 --> 00:38:56,861
The mirror's not working.
615
00:39:00,204 --> 00:39:02,695
Great. Great.
616
00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:19,885
Doesn't anything in this house work?
617
00:39:30,868 --> 00:39:33,564
- You must be Jeremy.
- We're so happy to see you.
618
00:39:33,637 --> 00:39:36,003
Don't block the doorway, Helen.
Let the boy come in.
619
00:39:36,073 --> 00:39:39,236
I'm Darla's father, Buddy Blake.
620
00:39:39,310 --> 00:39:40,902
You can call me Buddy.
621
00:39:40,978 --> 00:39:42,570
Okay, Buddy.
622
00:39:42,646 --> 00:39:44,773
- This is my wife Helen.
- Hi.
623
00:39:44,849 --> 00:39:46,476
You're a sharp-Iooking boy.
624
00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:48,518
Isn't he a sharp-Iooking boy, Buddy?
625
00:39:48,586 --> 00:39:50,520
He certainly is.
626
00:39:50,588 --> 00:39:53,751
Well, let's see if Darla's ready.
627
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,959
Princess!
628
00:39:57,027 --> 00:39:58,722
Your escort is here!
629
00:39:58,796 --> 00:40:00,730
Coming!
630
00:40:00,798 --> 00:40:03,392
Would you like a drink, Jeremy?
631
00:40:03,467 --> 00:40:06,027
No. I'm driving.
632
00:40:07,204 --> 00:40:09,502
Of course. Good answer.
633
00:40:09,573 --> 00:40:11,973
There she is.
634
00:40:12,042 --> 00:40:14,135
Isn't she lovely?
635
00:40:14,211 --> 00:40:16,577
Come on, Mom. Cut it out.
636
00:40:21,619 --> 00:40:23,917
They make a really cute couple,
don't they, Helen?
637
00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:25,285
Just like us.
638
00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:26,482
- Hi.
- Hi.
639
00:40:26,557 --> 00:40:28,286
Okay, kids.
Up against the wall.
640
00:40:28,359 --> 00:40:29,656
Mom!
641
00:40:29,727 --> 00:40:34,061
Come on now.
Don't spoil your father's fun.
642
00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:36,497
Ready now? Okay.
643
00:40:36,567 --> 00:40:38,228
Oh, wait. Wait.
644
00:40:38,302 --> 00:40:40,202
Helen, they're perfect.
645
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:43,570
This is totally humiliating!
646
00:40:43,641 --> 00:40:46,906
Okay, big smiles now.
647
00:40:46,977 --> 00:40:47,966
One more.
648
00:40:48,045 --> 00:40:49,774
- One more for Grandma.
- Say "cheese."
649
00:40:51,348 --> 00:40:53,009
Look, we're late.
We've gotta go. Bye.
650
00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:55,017
Have a good time, Princess.
651
00:41:02,326 --> 00:41:04,760
I'm really sorry about that.
652
00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:06,888
Look, I understand.
Don't worry about it.
653
00:41:06,964 --> 00:41:09,432
I have parents, too.
654
00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:11,934
- Damn!
- What's wrong?
655
00:41:12,002 --> 00:41:13,993
Didn't they turn out?
656
00:41:16,740 --> 00:41:18,002
Piece of junk.
657
00:41:21,579 --> 00:41:24,480
Okay, you ordered one garbage can pizza,
658
00:41:24,548 --> 00:41:27,745
double on everything but anchovies.
659
00:41:27,818 --> 00:41:29,718
Thank you.
660
00:41:29,787 --> 00:41:31,812
But Ralph isn't really a jerk.
661
00:41:31,889 --> 00:41:35,120
He's... He's a good guy at heart.
662
00:41:35,192 --> 00:41:39,526
But he... he thinks that I should
only date gorgeous girls
663
00:41:39,597 --> 00:41:41,565
who have big...
664
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:45,769
Big boobs and long, blonde hair
665
00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:48,737
- and beautifully suntanned skin and...
- Ditzy.
666
00:41:48,806 --> 00:41:51,866
When it comes to girls,
Ralph's only interested in one thing.
667
00:41:51,942 --> 00:41:53,170
You know.
668
00:41:53,244 --> 00:41:54,871
Yeah, I know.
669
00:41:54,945 --> 00:41:58,711
Ralph is... can be a jerk sometimes,
670
00:41:58,782 --> 00:42:01,080
but he's my best friend.
671
00:42:01,151 --> 00:42:04,484
And, what can I say?
672
00:42:04,555 --> 00:42:06,716
That's okay. I understand.
673
00:42:06,790 --> 00:42:09,350
Gloria doesn't exactly think
you're hot stuff, either.
674
00:42:09,426 --> 00:42:11,519
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
675
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:16,125
Well, I'm glad they don't
pick our dates, I guess.
676
00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:19,669
Jeremy, are you okay?
677
00:42:21,972 --> 00:42:23,405
Yeah.
678
00:42:23,474 --> 00:42:26,807
I'm suddenly not hungry.
679
00:42:26,877 --> 00:42:28,504
You know, I heard you've been sick lately.
680
00:42:28,579 --> 00:42:31,514
- It's nothing, really.
- Well, maybe you have an allergy.
681
00:42:31,582 --> 00:42:34,779
Excuse me, but what's on this pizza?
682
00:42:34,852 --> 00:42:36,183
You ordered everything.
683
00:42:36,253 --> 00:42:37,618
That's pepperoni, sausage,
684
00:42:37,688 --> 00:42:40,987
tomatoes, mushrooms, onions,
olives, peppers and garlic.
685
00:42:43,661 --> 00:42:44,753
Garlic.
686
00:42:51,602 --> 00:42:52,728
That's his car.
687
00:42:52,803 --> 00:42:54,293
We've found him.
688
00:43:18,896 --> 00:43:20,386
Shit!
689
00:43:31,342 --> 00:43:33,776
It's a beautiful night.
690
00:43:33,844 --> 00:43:36,369
Yeah. I like the dark.
691
00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:39,610
I think I'm a night person.
692
00:43:39,683 --> 00:43:42,777
Jeremy, why did you ask me out?
693
00:43:44,021 --> 00:43:46,080
Well, I don't know.
694
00:43:46,156 --> 00:43:48,818
You see someone you like,
you wanna know them better,
695
00:43:48,892 --> 00:43:51,292
you ask them out.
696
00:43:51,362 --> 00:43:54,354
And because I wanna prove to you
I'm not the big jerk that you think I am.
697
00:43:54,431 --> 00:43:56,296
I don't think you're a big jerk.
698
00:43:56,367 --> 00:43:58,232
Gloria does, but I don't.
699
00:43:58,302 --> 00:43:59,792
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
700
00:43:59,870 --> 00:44:02,566
Well, Ralph thinks you're
a musical freak or something.
701
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,006
Well, Gloria says you're...
702
00:44:05,075 --> 00:44:07,475
you're a repulsive, sickly slimeball.
703
00:44:07,544 --> 00:44:08,806
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
704
00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:10,608
Ralph says...
705
00:44:10,681 --> 00:44:12,308
Wait. That's his problem.
706
00:44:12,383 --> 00:44:15,477
I like you just the way you are.
707
00:44:15,552 --> 00:44:16,644
You're special.
708
00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:18,085
I am?
709
00:44:18,155 --> 00:44:19,782
Yeah.
710
00:44:28,098 --> 00:44:30,828
- Grimsdyke?
- Yes, sir?
711
00:44:30,901 --> 00:44:32,994
I think I'll go and lie down for a bit.
712
00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:35,300
Yes, Professor.
I'll take the first watch.
713
00:44:35,372 --> 00:44:39,570
Right. Call me if you
witness anything unusual.
714
00:44:39,643 --> 00:44:41,770
I will, Professor.
715
00:44:51,789 --> 00:44:53,450
Grimsdyke!
716
00:44:58,028 --> 00:45:02,089
Out. Now.
717
00:45:02,166 --> 00:45:04,396
Yes, Professor.
718
00:45:17,648 --> 00:45:18,808
Jeremy.
719
00:45:38,902 --> 00:45:41,564
Jeremy, what's wrong?
You're wheezing.
720
00:45:48,112 --> 00:45:49,636
Oh, no.
721
00:45:49,713 --> 00:45:52,511
Jeremy, what's wrong?
You're not sick, are you?
722
00:45:54,918 --> 00:45:56,476
I have to go.
723
00:45:56,553 --> 00:45:58,384
Jeremy, what's wrong?
724
00:45:58,455 --> 00:46:00,480
Where are you going? Stop!
725
00:46:00,557 --> 00:46:02,787
Wait! You can't do this!
726
00:46:02,860 --> 00:46:05,420
Stop! Please don't go!
727
00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:08,021
You can't leave me here.
728
00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:10,032
Come back!
729
00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:12,500
Wait!
730
00:46:12,569 --> 00:46:14,503
- Where are you going?
- Darla!
731
00:46:16,240 --> 00:46:18,572
What happened?
732
00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:23,879
Damn it!
733
00:46:23,947 --> 00:46:25,744
Jeremy Capello, you blew it!
734
00:46:35,025 --> 00:46:36,959
Find what you're looking for?
735
00:46:37,027 --> 00:46:39,587
Nah, the evil slime hasn't shown himse...
736
00:46:43,033 --> 00:46:44,625
Yes, he has.
737
00:46:44,701 --> 00:46:46,635
No!
738
00:46:46,703 --> 00:46:49,297
Who are you?
What do you want?
739
00:46:49,373 --> 00:46:51,534
Why are you watching my house?
740
00:46:54,511 --> 00:46:56,741
Stay back!
741
00:46:56,814 --> 00:46:58,748
You don't want me!
742
00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:00,078
I'm old!
743
00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:02,584
My blood's polluted with cholesterol!
744
00:47:02,653 --> 00:47:05,178
- What?
- Professor!
745
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:32,910
Get a grip on yourself.
746
00:47:33,750 --> 00:47:35,980
Slow down, you maniac!
747
00:47:36,053 --> 00:47:38,214
You mad little bastard!
What happened?
748
00:47:38,288 --> 00:47:40,279
It was horrible, Professor.
749
00:47:40,357 --> 00:47:43,053
The monster snuck up behind me!
750
00:47:45,529 --> 00:47:49,056
His eyes burned like coal.
751
00:47:49,132 --> 00:47:52,295
Fangs 3 inches long
glistened in the moonlight.
752
00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:53,961
That scum!
753
00:47:54,037 --> 00:47:56,471
He had me totally under his spell!
754
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,132
Thank God for this.
755
00:48:05,048 --> 00:48:07,175
Can I get you anything?
756
00:48:07,251 --> 00:48:08,741
Yes.
757
00:48:08,819 --> 00:48:10,377
I'd like a...
758
00:48:11,688 --> 00:48:14,657
a... two of those.
759
00:48:18,495 --> 00:48:19,985
Three T-bones.
760
00:48:21,531 --> 00:48:24,261
And six chickens, please.
761
00:48:25,669 --> 00:48:26,658
What else?
762
00:48:26,737 --> 00:48:29,297
I'd like a quart of pigs' blood.
763
00:48:29,373 --> 00:48:31,364
What was that last one?
764
00:48:31,441 --> 00:48:33,375
A quart of pigs' blood.
765
00:48:33,443 --> 00:48:35,707
"A quart of pigs' blood."
766
00:48:35,779 --> 00:48:37,974
- A pint.
- Pint of pigs' blood.
767
00:48:43,987 --> 00:48:46,217
How much for just the blood?
768
00:48:46,290 --> 00:48:47,848
2.59.
769
00:48:49,493 --> 00:48:50,755
Thank you.
770
00:48:51,962 --> 00:48:54,294
First time, huh, kid?
771
00:48:59,136 --> 00:49:01,127
I think I'm gonna puke.
772
00:49:05,375 --> 00:49:07,206
It's not bad.
773
00:49:08,645 --> 00:49:10,044
It's not bad.
774
00:49:22,626 --> 00:49:24,890
I can't believe it.
775
00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:26,862
I'm a vampire.
776
00:50:19,716 --> 00:50:22,116
This blood's for you.
777
00:50:22,185 --> 00:50:23,652
I'm proud of you, Jeremy.
778
00:50:23,720 --> 00:50:26,382
You got my vote
for Vampire Rookie of the Year.
779
00:50:26,456 --> 00:50:28,549
Why is this happening to me?
780
00:50:28,625 --> 00:50:30,991
I've been good.
No drugs, no alcohol.
781
00:50:31,061 --> 00:50:34,656
I do my homework.
Why me?
782
00:50:34,731 --> 00:50:39,031
Look, try not to think
of this as a handicap.
783
00:50:39,102 --> 00:50:41,900
I mean, there are a lot worse things
than being a vampire.
784
00:50:41,972 --> 00:50:44,236
Are you aware that one of past presidents
785
00:50:44,307 --> 00:50:46,502
of these United States was a vampire?
786
00:50:46,576 --> 00:50:48,009
Which one?
787
00:50:48,078 --> 00:50:49,545
That's not the point.
788
00:50:49,613 --> 00:50:52,173
I'm trying to illustrate
that life can still be full,
789
00:50:52,249 --> 00:50:54,114
it can still be rewarding,
790
00:50:54,184 --> 00:50:57,153
that there are certain advantages
to being a vampire.
791
00:50:57,220 --> 00:51:00,189
Yeah? Name one.
792
00:51:00,257 --> 00:51:01,952
All right.
793
00:51:02,025 --> 00:51:04,357
How old do you think I am?
794
00:51:04,428 --> 00:51:07,363
I don't know.
40? 50? So what?
795
00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:10,533
This coming October,
796
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:15,401
I shall celebrate my 265th birthday.
797
00:51:15,472 --> 00:51:18,908
For every decade,
you shall age but a single year.
798
00:51:18,975 --> 00:51:21,034
That's not a bad deal.
799
00:51:21,111 --> 00:51:22,169
What?
800
00:51:23,346 --> 00:51:26,008
Wait. You're telling me
that I'm gonna be a teenager
801
00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:27,846
for another 20 years?
802
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:30,079
Are you gonna sit around
and sulk for the next century?
803
00:51:30,153 --> 00:51:32,121
No.
804
00:51:32,189 --> 00:51:34,419
But I deserve a few minutes.
805
00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:37,590
I happen to like garlic.
806
00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:39,424
Well, it's a minor loss.
807
00:51:39,496 --> 00:51:41,657
Garlic just doesn't go with blood.
808
00:51:41,731 --> 00:51:43,858
But there are compensations.
809
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:46,164
With a long life,
you're gonna have a chance
810
00:51:46,236 --> 00:51:48,431
to meet some of the most
fascinating people on earth.
811
00:51:48,505 --> 00:51:50,700
Over the years, I've known people
812
00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:53,265
like Pablo Picasso, Sigmund Freud,
813
00:51:53,343 --> 00:51:55,573
Isabel Watson, Madame Curie.
814
00:51:55,645 --> 00:51:57,237
Who's Isabel Watson?
815
00:51:57,314 --> 00:51:58,747
Trust me, she was fascinating.
816
00:51:58,815 --> 00:52:00,544
What's more, with time on your side,
817
00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:03,347
you're gonna have the opportunity
to pursue your interests to their fullest.
818
00:52:03,420 --> 00:52:05,251
You sound like my guidance counselor.
819
00:52:05,322 --> 00:52:07,483
Look, all I'm trying to say is that
820
00:52:07,557 --> 00:52:10,685
whether you're a vampire
or a regular person,
821
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:13,923
you must set goals,
make plans, live a full life.
822
00:52:13,997 --> 00:52:15,225
You can live several of them.
823
00:52:15,298 --> 00:52:18,062
Well, that's just great,
but you're forgetting one thing.
824
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:21,593
I made a fool of myself with Darla
because I'm a vampire.
825
00:52:21,671 --> 00:52:24,834
Come on. Men have been making fools
of themselves for centuries
826
00:52:24,908 --> 00:52:27,001
where women are concerned.
827
00:52:27,077 --> 00:52:30,376
Luckily for us, they rather like it.
828
00:52:30,447 --> 00:52:33,109
She'll come around as soon as she thinks
you've suffered enough.
829
00:52:33,183 --> 00:52:34,241
No, no.
830
00:52:34,317 --> 00:52:37,013
You don't know Darla Blake.
831
00:52:37,087 --> 00:52:41,114
Then again, there are the powers.
832
00:52:41,191 --> 00:52:42,658
Powers?
833
00:52:44,027 --> 00:52:45,358
I wish you'd read that book.
834
00:52:45,428 --> 00:52:47,589
I mean, you might find some
pleasant surprises in there,
835
00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:52,158
like how to emit
a certain irresistible charm.
836
00:52:52,235 --> 00:52:54,863
- What page?
- Try the index under "Trances."
837
00:52:57,174 --> 00:53:00,109
Hey, hey.
Can I turn into a bat?
838
00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:01,838
Don't be silly.
839
00:53:14,858 --> 00:53:16,257
Darla, hi.
840
00:53:16,326 --> 00:53:18,419
Listen, I wanna explain about last night.
841
00:53:18,495 --> 00:53:21,293
Look, you don't have to.
You came through loud and clear.
842
00:53:21,364 --> 00:53:22,729
No, you don't understand.
843
00:53:22,799 --> 00:53:25,165
I've had something happen to me recently.
I've been going through some changes.
844
00:53:25,235 --> 00:53:28,170
Yeah, it's called puberty, jerk,
and she's not interested.
845
00:53:28,238 --> 00:53:30,035
Gloria, give it a rest, okay?
846
00:53:30,106 --> 00:53:32,870
Darla, don't give in.
He made a fool out of you.
847
00:53:32,943 --> 00:53:35,844
Gloria's right, you know?
And you're doing it again.
848
00:53:35,912 --> 00:53:37,209
Look, I'm sorry.
849
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:39,805
First date's always the worst, right?
850
00:53:39,883 --> 00:53:41,714
- Just give me one more chance.
- Why should I?
851
00:53:41,785 --> 00:53:45,221
Because I like you and because
I don't want our relationship
852
00:53:45,288 --> 00:53:46,550
to end before it begins.
853
00:53:46,623 --> 00:53:49,091
I have to get back to practice.
854
00:53:50,727 --> 00:53:51,716
Darla...
855
00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:57,294
come back.
856
00:53:59,769 --> 00:54:02,533
Raise your right hand.
857
00:54:08,345 --> 00:54:10,540
When I snap my fingers,
858
00:54:10,614 --> 00:54:14,812
you will awaken,
you will accept my apology,
859
00:54:14,884 --> 00:54:17,250
and you will go out with me
on Saturday night.
860
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:19,652
Do you understand?
861
00:54:24,027 --> 00:54:26,018
You've gotta be kidding.
862
00:54:44,014 --> 00:54:45,982
Our next selection
is from Barry Manilow,
863
00:54:46,049 --> 00:54:48,415
- the man who writes the songs...
- Barry Manilow!
864
00:54:48,485 --> 00:54:49,884
Save it.
865
00:54:55,158 --> 00:54:57,149
Oh, no!
866
00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:15,907
- Hi, Mrs. Capello.
- Hi, Ralph.
867
00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:17,970
Oh, Ralph.
868
00:55:18,048 --> 00:55:20,812
You know, Jeremy's been
acting pretty weird lately.
869
00:55:20,884 --> 00:55:23,352
Do you have any idea
what's wrong with him?
870
00:55:23,420 --> 00:55:25,684
Not really.
He's a pretty complicated guy.
871
00:55:25,755 --> 00:55:27,950
What do you mean?
872
00:55:28,024 --> 00:55:30,322
He's having some girl problems.
873
00:55:30,393 --> 00:55:31,553
That's probably all it is.
874
00:55:31,628 --> 00:55:35,291
Well, Ralph, see if you can find out
what's bothering him, okay?
875
00:55:35,365 --> 00:55:37,799
I will, Mrs. Capello.
876
00:55:37,867 --> 00:55:39,232
My son...
877
00:55:39,302 --> 00:55:41,167
has a problem with girls?
878
00:55:41,237 --> 00:55:44,365
The goddamn white van is still following me.
879
00:55:44,441 --> 00:55:46,909
What? Why is it following you?
880
00:55:49,646 --> 00:55:52,080
- Is it gone?
- Yeah.
881
00:55:53,683 --> 00:55:55,480
Man, I don't get this.
882
00:55:55,552 --> 00:55:57,110
Ralph, I've got something to tell you.
883
00:55:58,988 --> 00:56:00,114
I'm...
884
00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:02,715
I'm a vampire.
885
00:56:05,562 --> 00:56:07,086
That's cool, man.
886
00:56:07,163 --> 00:56:09,495
That's all you're gonna
say to me..."That's cool"?
887
00:56:09,566 --> 00:56:11,796
Jeremy, you're my best friend.
What do you want me to say?
888
00:56:11,868 --> 00:56:13,267
- "I think you're crazy"?
- No, no.
889
00:56:13,336 --> 00:56:15,861
Remember I was telling you
about that cop that was trailing me?
890
00:56:15,939 --> 00:56:16,928
Yeah?
891
00:56:17,006 --> 00:56:19,167
He told me that that woman
who bit me was a vampire.
892
00:56:19,242 --> 00:56:20,766
He told me I was a vampire.
893
00:56:20,844 --> 00:56:22,277
A cop told you that?
894
00:56:22,345 --> 00:56:23,573
Ralph, he wasn't a cop.
895
00:56:23,646 --> 00:56:25,079
He's a vampire, too.
896
00:56:25,148 --> 00:56:26,274
Wow.
897
00:56:26,349 --> 00:56:27,816
You don't believe me, do you?
898
00:56:27,884 --> 00:56:29,943
To tell you the truth, man, I'm kinda torn.
899
00:56:30,019 --> 00:56:33,079
See, I have this problem
with vampirism in general.
900
00:56:33,156 --> 00:56:36,023
Come on, let me show you something.
Come on. Let's go.
901
00:56:42,465 --> 00:56:43,830
Go in.
902
00:56:49,172 --> 00:56:50,400
What?
903
00:56:50,473 --> 00:56:52,236
Watch this.
904
00:56:55,612 --> 00:56:57,102
Well?
905
00:56:57,180 --> 00:56:58,977
It's a trick.
906
00:56:59,048 --> 00:57:01,710
A trick?
907
00:57:01,785 --> 00:57:04,720
Yeah, David Copperfield
does this stuff all the time.
908
00:57:04,788 --> 00:57:09,020
I once saw him make
the Statue of Liberty disappear.
909
00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,116
Okay.
910
00:57:13,930 --> 00:57:18,629
But let me show you something
David Copperfield doesn't do.
911
00:57:27,444 --> 00:57:30,072
Yeah, it's red and it's liquid.
912
00:57:30,146 --> 00:57:31,909
Is it blood?
913
00:57:43,426 --> 00:57:44,723
Hey, Ralph.
914
00:57:50,900 --> 00:57:53,926
Well, what did he say?
915
00:57:54,003 --> 00:57:55,527
You don't want to know.
916
00:57:55,605 --> 00:57:57,664
Ralph, I'm his mother.
917
00:57:57,740 --> 00:57:59,731
I want to know what's bothering him.
918
00:57:59,809 --> 00:58:01,106
No, you don't.
919
00:58:01,177 --> 00:58:02,872
Trust me.
920
00:58:02,946 --> 00:58:06,507
Some things are too personal.
921
00:58:07,917 --> 00:58:09,578
Too personal?
922
00:58:12,021 --> 00:58:14,990
Oh, my God.
923
00:58:28,238 --> 00:58:29,227
Jeremy.
924
00:58:29,305 --> 00:58:31,967
I just dropped in to say good-bye.
925
00:58:32,041 --> 00:58:33,565
You're leaving?
926
00:58:33,643 --> 00:58:35,270
My work is finished here.
927
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:36,573
Terrific.
928
00:58:36,646 --> 00:58:39,171
My life is ruined and you're going on.
929
00:58:39,249 --> 00:58:40,546
What's gonna happen?
930
00:58:40,617 --> 00:58:42,244
Well, that's entirely up to you.
931
00:58:42,318 --> 00:58:44,718
My purpose was merely to point you
in the right direction,
932
00:58:44,787 --> 00:58:47,381
not to hold your hand forever.
933
00:58:47,457 --> 00:58:50,324
You're going to be a vampire
for a long, long time.
934
00:58:50,393 --> 00:58:52,327
I know.
935
00:58:52,395 --> 00:58:54,659
There's just...
936
00:58:54,731 --> 00:58:58,223
still so much I don't know.
937
00:58:58,301 --> 00:58:59,928
What if I screw up?
938
00:59:00,003 --> 00:59:03,302
What if people find out?
939
00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:05,500
Everybody screws up.
940
00:59:05,575 --> 00:59:06,940
Dead or undead.
941
00:59:07,010 --> 00:59:09,774
People who love you
will always protect you.
942
00:59:09,846 --> 00:59:11,905
Remember that.
943
00:59:11,981 --> 00:59:13,710
I just got used to having you around.
944
00:59:15,251 --> 00:59:17,879
Don't get sentimental on me.
945
00:59:17,954 --> 00:59:20,286
And by the way,
I'm going to need to park my car
946
00:59:20,356 --> 00:59:21,983
for the next century or so.
947
00:59:22,058 --> 00:59:25,323
- Do you think you can look after it for me?
- You're kidding.
948
00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:27,522
This is great!
949
00:59:27,597 --> 00:59:29,326
Wait'll Ralph sees this.
950
00:59:31,467 --> 00:59:33,162
The Professor's after Ralph now.
951
00:59:33,236 --> 00:59:34,635
He thinks he's one of us.
952
00:59:34,704 --> 00:59:38,140
Well, it's a rather unsavory trait of man
953
00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:40,835
that whenever he stumbles
across something different,
954
00:59:40,910 --> 00:59:44,311
quite often his first impulse
is to destroy it.
955
00:59:44,380 --> 00:59:46,314
Vampire's are like any other minority
956
00:59:46,382 --> 00:59:49,146
that's been persecuted
down through the ages.
957
00:59:49,218 --> 00:59:52,153
Our reputations are a bit
more tarnished than that.
958
00:59:52,221 --> 00:59:56,157
I mean, people think
we're blood-sucking monsters.
959
00:59:56,225 --> 01:00:00,719
I'm afraid a few bad apples
back in the Dark Ages
960
01:00:00,797 --> 01:00:03,163
spoiled it for the rest of us.
961
01:00:03,232 --> 01:00:06,599
Professor McCarthy
is not one to forgive and forget.
962
01:00:06,669 --> 01:00:09,160
What is it with this guy?
What's his problem?
963
01:00:09,238 --> 01:00:12,036
He's quite mad, of course.
964
01:00:12,108 --> 01:00:14,008
But don't be misled.
965
01:00:14,077 --> 01:00:16,204
He poses a very real threat.
966
01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:18,770
What do I do?
967
01:00:18,848 --> 01:00:21,976
You're a vampire, Jeremy.
968
01:00:22,051 --> 01:00:23,951
Use it.
969
01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:32,353
Louis, Jeremy's behavior
is just too peculiar to ignore.
970
01:00:32,428 --> 01:00:34,988
Ralph says he has
some problem with girls.
971
01:00:35,064 --> 01:00:36,326
Yes.
972
01:00:36,399 --> 01:00:39,061
And I know I heard a man's voice
973
01:00:39,135 --> 01:00:41,535
up in his room the other night.
974
01:00:43,573 --> 01:00:45,632
The man in the BMW.
975
01:00:47,877 --> 01:00:49,401
Good night.
976
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:52,141
Jeremy, where are you going?
977
01:00:53,282 --> 01:00:54,374
Out.
978
01:00:54,450 --> 01:00:56,509
You know your father and I are here
979
01:00:56,586 --> 01:00:59,987
to talk about anything
that might be bothering you.
980
01:01:00,056 --> 01:01:01,683
That's great, Mom.
981
01:01:01,758 --> 01:01:03,191
Louis.
982
01:01:03,259 --> 01:01:04,954
Do you have anything you want to tell us?
983
01:01:05,028 --> 01:01:07,826
Just good night.
984
01:01:20,143 --> 01:01:22,475
Where did he get that car?
985
01:01:22,545 --> 01:01:25,946
It's that same Artic Blue BMW 735.
986
01:01:27,116 --> 01:01:29,209
What does that license plate mean?
987
01:01:47,804 --> 01:01:49,795
You're not getting any of my blood.
988
01:01:51,174 --> 01:01:52,163
Hey!
989
01:01:53,810 --> 01:01:55,038
Go away.
990
01:01:55,111 --> 01:01:57,602
Come on, open up.
I'm not going to hurt you.
991
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,483
Thank you.
992
01:02:08,191 --> 01:02:10,022
That's far enough, Count Dracula.
993
01:02:10,093 --> 01:02:12,323
What... Ralph, will you cut it out?
994
01:02:12,395 --> 01:02:14,022
I had to tell somebody.
995
01:02:14,097 --> 01:02:15,689
Why did it have to be me?
996
01:02:15,765 --> 01:02:17,960
'Cause you're my best friend.
I need you.
997
01:02:18,034 --> 01:02:20,264
So I can lure young virgins
998
01:02:20,336 --> 01:02:22,634
back to your lair for a midnight snack?
999
01:02:22,705 --> 01:02:23,797
Not me, pal.
1000
01:02:23,873 --> 01:02:25,864
Don't be a jerk.
1001
01:02:25,942 --> 01:02:28,274
This is too much, man.
1002
01:02:28,344 --> 01:02:29,606
Ralph, I'm still the same person.
1003
01:02:29,679 --> 01:02:31,476
I'm not some monster.
1004
01:02:31,547 --> 01:02:33,640
Okay, let me think.
1005
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,081
Okay, look, we're in this thing
together, all right?
1006
01:02:41,157 --> 01:02:43,489
My lips are sealed.
1007
01:02:43,559 --> 01:02:45,925
Just make sure yours stay that way, too.
1008
01:02:45,995 --> 01:02:48,088
I don't want to wake up a few pints low.
1009
01:02:48,164 --> 01:02:50,029
Great.
1010
01:02:52,235 --> 01:02:53,896
So now what do we do?
1011
01:02:53,970 --> 01:02:55,301
I don't know.
1012
01:03:06,349 --> 01:03:07,782
What are we doing here?
1013
01:03:07,850 --> 01:03:10,512
Hey, look, if vampires really have
secret powers over women,
1014
01:03:10,586 --> 01:03:11,985
you can't hold out on your best friend.
1015
01:03:12,054 --> 01:03:13,419
Look at these girls.
1016
01:03:13,489 --> 01:03:15,218
Ralph, I haven't even read this yet.
1017
01:03:15,291 --> 01:03:16,883
You'll do fine. Just wing it.
1018
01:03:16,959 --> 01:03:18,824
Now look, I'm not choosy, okay?
1019
01:03:18,895 --> 01:03:20,089
Tall blonde, skinny brunette...
1020
01:03:20,163 --> 01:03:21,221
I'll take anything.
1021
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:25,992
Almost anything.
1022
01:03:26,068 --> 01:03:28,002
Come on. Let's go over here.
1023
01:03:29,338 --> 01:03:31,101
- That girl.
- Like her?
1024
01:03:31,174 --> 01:03:33,108
Yeah. Go to it Count Capello.
1025
01:03:33,176 --> 01:03:34,803
Do your thing.
1026
01:03:39,448 --> 01:03:41,780
- What a hunk.
- Him?
1027
01:03:41,851 --> 01:03:43,819
That face.
1028
01:03:43,886 --> 01:03:45,911
That body.
1029
01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:49,651
Now he's a walking sex machine.
1030
01:03:55,097 --> 01:03:56,792
Missed by that much.
1031
01:04:00,236 --> 01:04:03,797
My God, it's an entire satanic cult!
1032
01:04:03,873 --> 01:04:05,067
Grimsdyke, you take the back.
1033
01:04:05,141 --> 01:04:06,301
Be careful.
1034
01:04:19,188 --> 01:04:20,883
Blonde at the bar.
1035
01:04:20,957 --> 01:04:22,857
Now nothing fancy, okay?
1036
01:04:22,925 --> 01:04:24,187
A simple love slave will do.
1037
01:04:24,260 --> 01:04:26,285
Love slave.
1038
01:04:27,663 --> 01:04:30,632
One love slave to go.
1039
01:04:32,602 --> 01:04:33,830
Hey, nice glasses.
1040
01:04:33,903 --> 01:04:35,734
Look, is it okay if we go to your place?
1041
01:04:35,805 --> 01:04:38,672
My parents wouldn't understand
all the screaming and moaning
1042
01:04:38,741 --> 01:04:40,299
coming from my bedroom.
1043
01:04:43,613 --> 01:04:46,548
- Well...
- Satisfied?
1044
01:04:48,050 --> 01:04:49,039
Her.
1045
01:04:50,486 --> 01:04:53,046
All right. If I blow it, you're on your own.
1046
01:04:53,122 --> 01:04:54,817
- You understand?
- Well, just nail her.
1047
01:05:11,607 --> 01:05:13,370
Make me your love slave.
1048
01:05:13,442 --> 01:05:14,534
Oh, my God!
1049
01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:16,805
Get the hell off of me, man.
1050
01:05:20,049 --> 01:05:22,108
Grimsdyke!
1051
01:05:22,184 --> 01:05:24,482
Professor, no!
1052
01:05:28,057 --> 01:05:29,251
Pull yourself together!
1053
01:05:29,325 --> 01:05:31,316
- Ralph!
- Who is that guy, man?
1054
01:05:31,394 --> 01:05:32,793
Come on. Let's get out of here!
1055
01:05:32,862 --> 01:05:34,022
Did you get him?
1056
01:05:39,201 --> 01:05:40,463
Here, hold this.
1057
01:05:40,536 --> 01:05:41,969
I'll be right back.
1058
01:05:55,918 --> 01:05:57,078
Don't just sit there, Grimsdyke.
1059
01:05:57,153 --> 01:05:58,245
They're getting away.
1060
01:05:59,722 --> 01:06:01,690
Ralph, there's something
I forgot to tell you.
1061
01:06:01,757 --> 01:06:02,883
Yeah?
1062
01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:04,358
Apparently there's some nutcase
running around
1063
01:06:04,427 --> 01:06:06,418
trying to wipe vampires out of existence.
1064
01:06:06,495 --> 01:06:09,089
He's the guy that broke down the door
and torched the Gardner place.
1065
01:06:09,165 --> 01:06:10,996
Don't worry.
I won't let him get to you.
1066
01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:13,297
He's also the guy that drives the white van.
1067
01:06:13,369 --> 01:06:14,631
The guy that's been following you.
1068
01:06:14,704 --> 01:06:15,728
What are you saying?
1069
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:17,170
That they think I'm a vampire?
1070
01:06:17,239 --> 01:06:18,729
They can't be that stupid.
1071
01:06:18,808 --> 01:06:20,173
If they kill me, I'm dust.
1072
01:06:20,242 --> 01:06:22,073
If they kill you, it's murder, right?
1073
01:06:22,144 --> 01:06:23,543
Yeah, great.
1074
01:06:23,612 --> 01:06:24,601
Thanks a lot.
1075
01:06:34,590 --> 01:06:37,115
We have to face the facts, honey.
1076
01:06:37,193 --> 01:06:38,387
Our son is gay.
1077
01:06:38,461 --> 01:06:42,090
How do you feel about that?
1078
01:06:42,164 --> 01:06:44,564
I really wanted grandchildren.
1079
01:07:04,420 --> 01:07:06,115
Oh, my God. There he is.
1080
01:07:06,188 --> 01:07:08,156
- She's here, stud.
- What?
1081
01:07:08,224 --> 01:07:10,021
- Where?
- Corner table. Don't look.
1082
01:07:10,092 --> 01:07:11,457
Don't look!
1083
01:07:11,527 --> 01:07:13,757
Don't look.
1084
01:07:16,866 --> 01:07:19,494
This is dumb.
1085
01:07:27,710 --> 01:07:28,699
Hi, Darla.
1086
01:07:28,778 --> 01:07:31,303
- You never give up, do you?
- No.
1087
01:07:31,380 --> 01:07:32,847
Darla, l...
1088
01:07:32,915 --> 01:07:34,314
Look, you're important to me.
1089
01:07:34,383 --> 01:07:36,715
Just give me one more chance.
1090
01:07:36,786 --> 01:07:38,117
I don't know, Jeremy.
1091
01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:41,350
I like you, but you're so weird.
1092
01:07:41,424 --> 01:07:42,584
He'll freak out on you again.
1093
01:07:42,658 --> 01:07:45,183
I won't freak out. I promise.
1094
01:07:45,261 --> 01:07:47,388
Look, I had some problems before, okay?
1095
01:07:47,463 --> 01:07:49,693
But I'm fine now.
1096
01:07:49,765 --> 01:07:51,289
Don't make me beg.
1097
01:07:51,367 --> 01:07:54,564
- Make him beg.
- I'm begging.
1098
01:07:55,971 --> 01:07:57,029
Shit.
1099
01:07:57,106 --> 01:07:59,631
Don't make any foolhardy
attempt to run away.
1100
01:07:59,708 --> 01:08:01,767
This revolver is pointing at your navel.
1101
01:08:01,844 --> 01:08:03,573
It's loaded with silver bullets.
1102
01:08:03,646 --> 01:08:05,580
- Professor, there's a...
- Be quiet.
1103
01:08:05,648 --> 01:08:08,913
You will slowly get up and walk out
to that van parked in the street.
1104
01:08:08,984 --> 01:08:11,612
If you so much as bat an eyelid,
I won't hesitate to use this.
1105
01:08:11,687 --> 01:08:14,850
- Is that clear?
- Perfect. Very.
1106
01:08:14,924 --> 01:08:16,448
Let's go!
1107
01:08:18,727 --> 01:08:21,890
Okay, I'll give you one more chance.
1108
01:08:25,267 --> 01:08:27,735
That wasn't too weird, was it?
1109
01:08:27,803 --> 01:08:31,295
Look, I know you think I'm gonna
go bananas any minute, but I'm not.
1110
01:08:32,808 --> 01:08:34,833
Where's Ralph?
1111
01:08:34,910 --> 01:08:37,572
He just left with a couple of freaks.
1112
01:08:37,646 --> 01:08:38,943
What?
1113
01:08:39,014 --> 01:08:41,642
That's them over there in that van.
1114
01:08:41,717 --> 01:08:43,344
Come on.
1115
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:45,885
Wait, don't go.
1116
01:08:56,265 --> 01:08:57,459
Hurry! Get in.
1117
01:08:57,533 --> 01:08:59,398
Are we stealing this car?
1118
01:09:02,338 --> 01:09:03,396
Hey, look.
1119
01:09:03,472 --> 01:09:04,996
You guys are making a big mistake here.
1120
01:09:05,074 --> 01:09:06,803
I'm not a vampire.
1121
01:09:06,876 --> 01:09:09,106
I hate the taste of blood.
I hate the sight of blood.
1122
01:09:09,178 --> 01:09:12,113
Professor, maybe he's telling the truth.
1123
01:09:12,181 --> 01:09:13,443
Lies, all lies.
1124
01:09:13,516 --> 01:09:14,505
Don't listen, Grimsdyke.
1125
01:09:14,583 --> 01:09:17,416
These bastards will say anything
to protect their black hearts.
1126
01:09:17,486 --> 01:09:18,885
You promised you wouldn't freak out!
1127
01:09:18,954 --> 01:09:20,353
You know that?
You promised!
1128
01:09:20,422 --> 01:09:22,822
I'm sorry. Darla, my best friend's
about to be murdered.
1129
01:09:22,892 --> 01:09:25,019
Murdered? By whom?
1130
01:09:25,094 --> 01:09:26,288
It's a long story.
1131
01:09:26,362 --> 01:09:27,761
It's really me they should be after.
1132
01:09:27,830 --> 01:09:29,991
What are you talking about?
1133
01:09:30,065 --> 01:09:31,930
Professor McCarthy... he's a maniac.
1134
01:09:32,001 --> 01:09:33,525
He thinks Ralph's a vampire.
1135
01:09:35,171 --> 01:09:36,195
That's crazy.
1136
01:09:36,272 --> 01:09:37,637
Of course, it's crazy.
1137
01:09:37,706 --> 01:09:40,334
Ralph's not the vampire.
1138
01:09:40,409 --> 01:09:41,876
I'm the vampire.
1139
01:09:45,381 --> 01:09:46,507
Oh, my God.
1140
01:09:46,582 --> 01:09:48,140
There they are.
1141
01:09:53,522 --> 01:09:57,288
Professor, somebody's following us.
1142
01:09:57,359 --> 01:09:59,020
That's right, pal.
1143
01:09:59,094 --> 01:10:02,791
The FBI, the CIA, the National Guard!
1144
01:10:02,865 --> 01:10:04,264
And when all this over,
1145
01:10:04,333 --> 01:10:06,392
my dad is going to kick your ass!
1146
01:10:11,574 --> 01:10:13,974
Evasive action, Grimsdyke.
1147
01:10:14,043 --> 01:10:15,635
Yes, Professor.
1148
01:10:24,587 --> 01:10:25,713
I'm not crazy, okay?
1149
01:10:25,788 --> 01:10:27,619
Whatever you're thinking,
please believe me.
1150
01:10:27,690 --> 01:10:28,782
I need your help.
1151
01:10:28,857 --> 01:10:32,793
Modoc told me someone that really cares
will never let you down.
1152
01:10:32,861 --> 01:10:34,260
Modoc?
1153
01:10:35,864 --> 01:10:38,890
He's... He's my vampire advisor.
1154
01:10:46,642 --> 01:10:48,337
You're gonna kill us!
1155
01:10:52,514 --> 01:10:55,005
Darla, remember what we said
about being different?
1156
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:56,278
Different, yes.
1157
01:10:56,352 --> 01:10:58,411
Like being taller or skinnier
or wearing braces.
1158
01:10:58,487 --> 01:11:00,785
Or maybe even being just a little bit weird.
1159
01:11:00,856 --> 01:11:03,051
But not being a vampire.
1160
01:11:09,231 --> 01:11:11,859
Cops! All right!
Hang on, Ralph.
1161
01:11:11,934 --> 01:11:14,300
BMW, license plate "NITEMAN."
1162
01:11:14,370 --> 01:11:15,632
Westbound on Allen Parkway.
1163
01:11:15,704 --> 01:11:17,569
32 X-ray, request assist.
1164
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:20,006
Roger. All units in vicinity
of Allen Parkway
1165
01:11:20,075 --> 01:11:21,702
roll to assist 32 X-ray.
1166
01:11:21,777 --> 01:11:23,574
Pursuit of a blue BMW, westbound...
1167
01:11:27,683 --> 01:11:28,741
Oh, my God!
1168
01:11:37,693 --> 01:11:38,751
- You okay?
- Stop!
1169
01:11:47,036 --> 01:11:48,469
Hang on, Darla.
1170
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:53,467
Shit!
1171
01:12:01,083 --> 01:12:02,482
Good work, Grimsdyke.
1172
01:12:02,551 --> 01:12:05,782
It looks like the cavalry's
been cut off at the pass.
1173
01:12:07,189 --> 01:12:08,622
Freeze!
1174
01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:20,563
You kids all right?
1175
01:12:20,636 --> 01:12:21,933
Yeah, I think so.
1176
01:12:22,004 --> 01:12:23,403
We have to stop the white van.
1177
01:12:23,472 --> 01:12:24,996
They're gonna kill Ralph.
1178
01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:26,974
Take it easy, kid.
You're in shock.
1179
01:12:27,042 --> 01:12:28,873
They're gonna murder him.
We have to stop it.
1180
01:12:28,944 --> 01:12:31,242
Relax, son.
We'll get you an ambulance.
1181
01:12:31,313 --> 01:12:33,178
Listen to me.
They're crazy.
1182
01:12:33,248 --> 01:12:34,476
They're vampire hunters.
1183
01:12:34,550 --> 01:12:36,040
They think my friend's a vampire.
1184
01:12:36,118 --> 01:12:38,552
They've kidnapped him
and they're going to kill him.
1185
01:12:39,888 --> 01:12:43,289
Hey, Wally, looks like we've got
another vampire hunter on our hands.
1186
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:44,656
Another one?
1187
01:12:44,727 --> 01:12:46,251
See?
1188
01:12:46,328 --> 01:12:48,489
Damn. We better call in
a Code V and get after 'em.
1189
01:12:48,564 --> 01:12:50,498
Come on, kids.
Let's get to the car.
1190
01:12:50,566 --> 01:12:52,534
Come on.
1191
01:12:54,436 --> 01:12:55,664
Let's go!
1192
01:12:57,139 --> 01:12:58,697
Come on!
1193
01:12:58,774 --> 01:12:59,866
Hey.
1194
01:13:01,910 --> 01:13:03,138
You can't do this!
1195
01:13:03,212 --> 01:13:04,338
Yeah, right.
1196
01:13:04,413 --> 01:13:05,903
Sober up, kid.
1197
01:13:05,981 --> 01:13:07,812
Hey!
1198
01:13:11,053 --> 01:13:14,216
Ralph's gonna die and it's all my fault.
1199
01:13:14,289 --> 01:13:16,052
Maybe not.
1200
01:13:18,794 --> 01:13:21,024
I don't believe you're gonna do this.
1201
01:13:21,096 --> 01:13:23,087
You don't believe it?
1202
01:13:27,870 --> 01:13:29,303
Holy shit!
1203
01:13:40,315 --> 01:13:41,782
Come on, hurry up.
1204
01:13:44,920 --> 01:13:46,285
That was great!
1205
01:13:46,355 --> 01:13:47,822
I could be falling for you.
1206
01:13:47,890 --> 01:13:49,551
Don't push your luck.
1207
01:13:56,698 --> 01:13:58,029
This is One Adam-12.
1208
01:13:58,100 --> 01:14:01,001
I'd like to put out an APB
on a white Ford van,
1209
01:14:01,069 --> 01:14:04,004
last seen heading north
on Henderson Way.
1210
01:14:04,072 --> 01:14:06,734
And, Mom, if you're listening,
1211
01:14:06,809 --> 01:14:10,006
I'd like to tell you
that this really isn't my fault.
1212
01:14:10,078 --> 01:14:12,308
I had to steal this police car
in order to save Ralph.
1213
01:14:12,381 --> 01:14:13,746
Oh, my God! Let's go!
1214
01:14:13,816 --> 01:14:15,977
And, Mom, I'd like you to meet Darla Blake.
1215
01:14:16,051 --> 01:14:18,417
Hello, Mrs. Capello.
1216
01:14:18,487 --> 01:14:20,148
She's great, Mom.
You'll love her.
1217
01:14:21,723 --> 01:14:23,884
Hurry up, Louis. Run!
1218
01:14:23,959 --> 01:14:25,984
Our son's in trouble!
1219
01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:31,557
Come on!
Where are you, buddy?
1220
01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:33,100
I think they went that way.
1221
01:14:33,168 --> 01:14:35,432
- Where?
- That way.
1222
01:14:37,739 --> 01:14:40,401
Stolen police unit traveling north
on Highway 41.
1223
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:41,943
Proceed with caution.
1224
01:14:42,010 --> 01:14:44,240
Perpetrator is presumed
armed and dangerous.
1225
01:14:44,313 --> 01:14:47,043
Repeat, perp is presumed
armed and dangerous.
1226
01:14:47,115 --> 01:14:48,275
That's our baby.
1227
01:14:49,852 --> 01:14:51,649
Turn there.
1228
01:15:02,865 --> 01:15:05,925
We'll release the creature's soul
on sanctified ground.
1229
01:15:13,108 --> 01:15:14,837
Come on, you piece of junk!
1230
01:15:14,910 --> 01:15:15,899
Haul ass!
1231
01:15:15,978 --> 01:15:18,139
You heard him. Haul ass!
1232
01:15:20,048 --> 01:15:21,640
Hang on, Ralph.
1233
01:15:37,566 --> 01:15:39,500
Grimsdyke, will you stop that?
1234
01:15:40,936 --> 01:15:41,994
Come here.
1235
01:15:45,807 --> 01:15:48,173
- You do this one.
- Me, Professor?
1236
01:15:48,243 --> 01:15:49,676
Yes, you.
1237
01:15:55,717 --> 01:15:58,652
Right. Now, you hit the stake
right in the center.
1238
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:01,883
Hard enough to drive the shaft
through the ribcage,
1239
01:16:01,957 --> 01:16:04,482
into the chest cavity,
piercing the heart.
1240
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:05,618
Go on.
1241
01:16:09,197 --> 01:16:10,255
Go on.
1242
01:16:15,170 --> 01:16:16,967
I can't do it.
1243
01:16:17,039 --> 01:16:20,338
I've never hurt a human being in my life.
1244
01:16:21,343 --> 01:16:22,332
Wait! There it is.
1245
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:27,874
You're a spineless creature, Grimsdyke.
1246
01:16:27,950 --> 01:16:30,009
Now I've got to do it myself.
1247
01:16:44,199 --> 01:16:47,396
May God have mercy on your soul.
1248
01:16:47,469 --> 01:16:49,061
Stop!
1249
01:16:50,772 --> 01:16:53,297
Hi.
1250
01:16:53,375 --> 01:16:54,967
I know what this must look like.
1251
01:16:55,043 --> 01:16:56,943
How about attempted murder?
1252
01:16:57,012 --> 01:16:58,604
No, you're mistaken.
1253
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:00,671
We're just performing a little exorcism.
1254
01:17:00,749 --> 01:17:03,718
This is a vile,
disgusting creature of the night.
1255
01:17:03,785 --> 01:17:05,753
A vampire.
1256
01:17:05,821 --> 01:17:07,186
We're the good guys.
1257
01:17:07,255 --> 01:17:10,554
You kill him and you'll fry
for Murder One, pal, guaranteed.
1258
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:12,116
No way.
1259
01:17:12,194 --> 01:17:13,661
There won't even be a corpse.
1260
01:17:13,729 --> 01:17:16,095
He'll crumble to dust
before your very eyes.
1261
01:17:16,164 --> 01:17:18,155
- Watch.
- Wait! Wait! Wait!
1262
01:17:18,233 --> 01:17:21,100
If he is a vampire, that's one thing.
1263
01:17:21,169 --> 01:17:23,797
If he isn't, an innocent guy is dead.
1264
01:17:23,872 --> 01:17:25,806
Yes, yes, yes.
1265
01:17:25,874 --> 01:17:27,637
That's a chance I'm prepared to take.
1266
01:17:27,709 --> 01:17:28,971
Forget it.
1267
01:17:29,044 --> 01:17:30,978
Let's see some proof.
1268
01:17:31,046 --> 01:17:33,446
What's in your little
vampire hunters kit there?
1269
01:17:33,515 --> 01:17:35,244
You have a crucifix, right?
1270
01:17:42,024 --> 01:17:44,117
Maybe he's a Jewish vampire.
1271
01:17:44,192 --> 01:17:45,557
Right.
1272
01:17:45,627 --> 01:17:47,026
What else have you got?
1273
01:17:49,665 --> 01:17:51,997
String of garlic.
1274
01:17:54,703 --> 01:17:56,432
And you were gonna kill this guy?
1275
01:17:57,739 --> 01:17:59,297
Holy water, right?
1276
01:17:59,374 --> 01:18:00,398
Good idea.
1277
01:18:00,475 --> 01:18:02,204
Nothing worse than a dirty vampire.
1278
01:18:02,277 --> 01:18:03,676
And the stake.
1279
01:18:03,745 --> 01:18:07,146
If I kill him with a stake through the heart,
he's definitely a vampire.
1280
01:18:07,215 --> 01:18:09,115
A stake through the heart
would kill anything.
1281
01:18:09,184 --> 01:18:12,381
I'm afraid this evidence
wouldn't be too persuasive
1282
01:18:12,454 --> 01:18:14,513
at your murder trial.
1283
01:18:14,589 --> 01:18:16,352
Grimsdyke, you've made a mistake.
1284
01:18:16,425 --> 01:18:17,722
Let him go.
1285
01:18:24,399 --> 01:18:26,094
A mistake?
1286
01:18:26,168 --> 01:18:27,897
That's all?
1287
01:18:27,969 --> 01:18:29,459
No apology?
1288
01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:31,335
No "I'm sorry, Ralph"?
1289
01:18:31,406 --> 01:18:33,135
"I beg your pardon, Ralph"?
1290
01:18:33,208 --> 01:18:35,938
"Sorry about that stake
through your heart, Ralph"!
1291
01:18:37,846 --> 01:18:40,542
You sly little bloodsucker, you.
1292
01:18:52,160 --> 01:18:54,094
- Come on!
- The car!
1293
01:18:56,031 --> 01:18:57,794
Ralph, the car...
1294
01:19:05,640 --> 01:19:08,268
Ralph, wait!
1295
01:19:08,343 --> 01:19:10,140
The car is over there.
1296
01:19:10,212 --> 01:19:11,679
No problem. Follow me.
1297
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:14,079
Right.
1298
01:19:14,149 --> 01:19:15,207
Come on!
1299
01:19:15,283 --> 01:19:17,183
Freeze!
1300
01:19:17,252 --> 01:19:19,117
No need to remind you that silver bullets
1301
01:19:19,187 --> 01:19:21,553
serve the same purpose
as a stake through the heart.
1302
01:19:21,623 --> 01:19:23,147
Professor...
1303
01:19:24,793 --> 01:19:26,522
Okay.
1304
01:19:26,595 --> 01:19:27,926
You have me.
1305
01:19:27,996 --> 01:19:29,554
Let them go.
1306
01:19:29,631 --> 01:19:31,861
They're only innocent bystanders.
1307
01:19:33,201 --> 01:19:36,432
Your heroic plea has been
noted and rejected.
1308
01:19:36,505 --> 01:19:38,234
Do I really think I'll let you kill me?
1309
01:19:38,306 --> 01:19:39,933
My friends?
1310
01:19:40,008 --> 01:19:41,873
I don't see how you can prevent it.
1311
01:19:44,045 --> 01:19:47,173
You forget, Professor, I'm a vampire.
1312
01:19:47,249 --> 01:19:51,777
That has certain advantages.
1313
01:19:51,853 --> 01:19:54,913
You've abandoned
your precious tools, Professor.
1314
01:19:54,990 --> 01:19:58,187
You have no crucifix,
no garlic, no holy water.
1315
01:19:58,260 --> 01:19:59,693
Grimsdyke, shoot him!
1316
01:20:00,695 --> 01:20:02,094
I can't!
1317
01:20:02,164 --> 01:20:05,361
Luckily for you, I don't kill people.
1318
01:20:05,433 --> 01:20:08,732
Aren't you gonna drain my blood?
1319
01:20:08,804 --> 01:20:10,795
You sound disappointed.
1320
01:20:10,872 --> 01:20:13,363
No, just surprised.
1321
01:20:13,441 --> 01:20:15,966
Pleasantly surprised.
1322
01:20:19,214 --> 01:20:21,341
Didn't you hear me?
1323
01:20:21,416 --> 01:20:23,281
I'm letting you go.
1324
01:20:23,351 --> 01:20:25,581
I'll never stop coming after you, never!
1325
01:20:25,654 --> 01:20:28,521
Why? What do I have to do, kill you?
1326
01:20:28,590 --> 01:20:30,285
Rip your heart out?
1327
01:20:30,358 --> 01:20:32,087
Do it, Jeremy.
1328
01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:34,185
Let's share a toast with his blood.
1329
01:20:34,262 --> 01:20:35,991
Nora.
1330
01:20:36,064 --> 01:20:37,929
You've returned from the grave.
1331
01:20:37,999 --> 01:20:40,365
Of course. I'm a vampire.
1332
01:20:40,435 --> 01:20:42,027
Who's she?
1333
01:20:42,103 --> 01:20:44,571
Join me, Jeremy,
1334
01:20:44,639 --> 01:20:46,630
in a taste of immorality.
1335
01:20:46,708 --> 01:20:49,108
Starting with the professor's blood.
1336
01:20:49,177 --> 01:20:50,303
Well, surely you wouldn't...
1337
01:20:50,378 --> 01:20:51,675
You were eager enough to kill me.
1338
01:20:51,746 --> 01:20:53,270
That was different.
1339
01:20:53,348 --> 01:20:54,781
Go, Professor.
1340
01:20:54,850 --> 01:20:58,183
You see we're not all the insidious
creatures you'd like to believe.
1341
01:20:58,253 --> 01:21:00,778
All we want is a chance to live in peace
1342
01:21:00,856 --> 01:21:03,950
without worrying about someone
trying to ram a stake through our hearts.
1343
01:21:06,228 --> 01:21:07,752
Bravo, my boy. Bravo.
1344
01:21:10,198 --> 01:21:13,895
I've waited a long time to get you
into my sights, old man.
1345
01:21:16,071 --> 01:21:19,131
My dear professor,
why does it have to be this way?
1346
01:21:19,207 --> 01:21:21,641
When will you understand
that I'm not your enemy?
1347
01:21:25,881 --> 01:21:28,509
- Grimsdyke, where'd you get these bullets?
- But, Professor...
1348
01:21:28,583 --> 01:21:31,381
Now I'm gonna have to rip him apart
with my bare hands.
1349
01:21:31,453 --> 01:21:32,477
As you wish.
1350
01:21:32,554 --> 01:21:35,114
But first, allow me
to introduce some friends.
1351
01:21:46,534 --> 01:21:47,694
This is getting interesting.
1352
01:21:47,769 --> 01:21:50,260
Oh, no. Not that.
1353
01:21:50,338 --> 01:21:53,330
Grimsdyke, what are they gonna do to me?
1354
01:21:53,408 --> 01:21:54,875
Oh, my goodness.
1355
01:21:54,943 --> 01:21:56,706
Grimsdyke, don't let them take me away.
1356
01:21:56,778 --> 01:21:57,802
Grimsdyke!
1357
01:21:57,879 --> 01:21:59,278
Don't let them take me away.
1358
01:21:59,347 --> 01:22:00,871
Grimsdyke, help me!
1359
01:22:04,252 --> 01:22:07,449
What'll happen to him?
1360
01:22:07,522 --> 01:22:10,685
What better way to vanquish an enemy
than to make him an ally?
1361
01:22:10,759 --> 01:22:13,353
Help me!
1362
01:22:13,428 --> 01:22:15,453
Hey, are those chicks
coming back or what?
1363
01:22:17,165 --> 01:22:19,156
Wait a minute.
You were shot.
1364
01:22:19,234 --> 01:22:20,929
With silver bullets.
1365
01:22:21,002 --> 01:22:24,199
Jeremy, once again you're guilty
of not reading your handbook.
1366
01:22:24,272 --> 01:22:26,172
Silver bullets are an effective means
1367
01:22:26,241 --> 01:22:30,371
of dispatching werewolves, not vampires.
1368
01:22:30,445 --> 01:22:32,606
I don't even want to get into werewolves.
1369
01:22:32,681 --> 01:22:34,444
Professor...
1370
01:22:36,217 --> 01:22:38,242
What have they done to you?
1371
01:22:38,320 --> 01:22:42,780
Well, this is an ironic turn of events,
isn't it, Grimsdyke?
1372
01:22:42,857 --> 01:22:45,087
What's to become of you?
1373
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:47,094
I don't know.
1374
01:22:47,162 --> 01:22:50,859
Maybe I'll run with the pack
for a while, see what happens.
1375
01:22:50,932 --> 01:22:53,457
I feel 20 years younger.
1376
01:22:53,535 --> 01:22:54,559
Bye, Grimsdyke.
1377
01:23:04,512 --> 01:23:06,377
I'm afraid that's our signal.
1378
01:23:06,448 --> 01:23:08,040
You're welcome to join us, Jeremy.
1379
01:23:08,116 --> 01:23:11,017
You'd be among friends,
with others like yourself.
1380
01:23:11,086 --> 01:23:12,144
Thanks, Modoc.
1381
01:23:12,220 --> 01:23:14,347
But I have school tomorrow.
1382
01:23:14,422 --> 01:23:17,585
Besides, I have a few friends right here.
1383
01:23:17,659 --> 01:23:19,684
Good-bye, Jeremy.
1384
01:23:19,761 --> 01:23:21,592
Good-bye, Modoc.
1385
01:23:23,298 --> 01:23:25,960
Okay, listen, next time
you're in town, give me a call.
1386
01:23:26,034 --> 01:23:27,433
We'll go out for a drink.
1387
01:23:27,502 --> 01:23:28,833
Bloody Marys.
1388
01:23:32,507 --> 01:23:34,941
Come, children. Away!
1389
01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:45,615
This has been one hell of a night.
1390
01:23:54,662 --> 01:23:57,859
I've gotta read that book.
1391
01:24:34,669 --> 01:24:36,830
Look, Louis!
There they are over there!
1392
01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:38,532
Look, honey! Turn around.
1393
01:24:50,652 --> 01:24:52,813
Jeremy?
1394
01:24:52,887 --> 01:24:54,684
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.
1395
01:24:54,756 --> 01:24:56,087
Son.
1396
01:24:56,157 --> 01:24:58,057
Guess I've got some explaining to do, huh?
1397
01:24:58,126 --> 01:25:01,493
We know that you've been
going through this change lately.
1398
01:25:01,563 --> 01:25:04,691
Wait, you knew?
You knew all along?
1399
01:25:04,766 --> 01:25:06,290
We're not blind, Jeremy.
1400
01:25:06,367 --> 01:25:08,562
We know what's going on in the world.
1401
01:25:08,636 --> 01:25:11,036
We don't want to be part of your problem.
1402
01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:13,734
Just be happy with who you are.
1403
01:25:13,808 --> 01:25:15,742
Incredible.
1404
01:25:17,178 --> 01:25:20,739
Mom, Dad, this is Darla Blake.
1405
01:25:20,815 --> 01:25:22,783
She's my new girlfriend.
1406
01:25:24,352 --> 01:25:29,255
Well, we're very, very happy to meet you.
1407
01:25:32,660 --> 01:25:34,924
Unbelievable.
97305
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