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1
00:00:02,639 --> 00:00:06,376
So there's your breast
cancer tumor, and the portacath,
2
00:00:06,443 --> 00:00:08,894
through which you take cyclophosphamate
intravenously...
3
00:00:09,014 --> 00:00:09,860
Sim.
4
00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:12,448
And you're taking
tetraphenol orally?
5
00:00:12,516 --> 00:00:13,916
E também português.
6
00:00:13,984 --> 00:00:15,184
Em CD-ROM.
7
00:00:15,252 --> 00:00:17,086
Boa sorte!
8
00:00:17,154 --> 00:00:18,221
Obrigado.
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00:00:18,288 --> 00:00:20,690
And I dunno Krieger, maybe it's
because I'm just a badass,
10
00:00:20,758 --> 00:00:22,392
but chemotherapy is
kind of a breeze.
11
00:00:22,459 --> 00:00:23,711
Yeah, that's my point.
12
00:00:23,831 --> 00:00:26,895
Two weeks of chemo with no hair
loss, and you're not experiencing
13
00:00:27,015 --> 00:00:29,255
- any nausea?
- No, gracias a
14
00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:31,215
dubi mediciano.
15
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,403
Which, I gotta tell ya: huge fan.
16
00:00:33,470 --> 00:00:34,337
Yeah?
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00:00:34,405 --> 00:00:35,838
Yeah, and I advocate its use.
18
00:00:35,906 --> 00:00:38,107
As a potential role
model, I advocate it.
19
00:00:38,227 --> 00:00:42,003
To combat chemotherapy-related
nausea, or for cannabidiol's
20
00:00:42,123 --> 00:00:45,581
clinically-proven ability to
inhibit cancer cell growth?
21
00:00:45,701 --> 00:00:46,716
It does that?
22
00:00:46,784 --> 00:00:48,863
Yep, and if you
need more lemme know.
23
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,787
I got a guy.
24
00:00:50,854 --> 00:00:53,389
Me too.
He's called a pharmacist.
25
00:00:53,457 --> 00:00:56,902
Yeah, and is he the same pharmacist
who gave you all these chemo drugs?
26
00:00:57,022 --> 00:00:58,391
Well he damn sure
didn't give it to me.
27
00:00:58,511 --> 00:01:01,068
You would not believe how
much cancer medicine costs...
28
00:01:01,188 --> 00:01:04,154
Those pills are like eighty
bucks each, and the IV stuff is
29
00:01:04,274 --> 00:01:07,450
literally two grand a bag, so
why the hell are you poking
30
00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:09,307
a hole in my bag Krieger?!
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00:01:09,427 --> 00:01:11,407
Because I want
to run a few tests.
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00:01:11,475 --> 00:01:16,512
- And so, if the reagent turns blue...
- What does that mean, is that good?
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00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,915
No. It means this
eighty-dollar pill is one
34
00:01:18,982 --> 00:01:20,349
hundred percent sucrose.
35
00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:21,551
- What?
- Sugar?
36
00:01:21,618 --> 00:01:23,186
I know what sucrose is, idiot!
37
00:01:23,253 --> 00:01:24,954
But there's medicine
in there too, right?!
38
00:01:25,022 --> 00:01:26,899
Ummm, no. Not a trace.
39
00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:30,043
Wh-?! So I've been treating
my breast cancer with... sugar pills?!
40
00:01:30,163 --> 00:01:33,062
Yeah, you didn't think it was
weird your chemo drugs were chewable?
41
00:01:33,130 --> 00:01:35,198
No!
Little kids get cancer!
42
00:01:35,265 --> 00:01:36,165
Aww... they do.
43
00:01:36,233 --> 00:01:38,067
What about the intravenous drug?!
44
00:01:38,135 --> 00:01:40,470
Right, yes, the cyclophosphamate.
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00:01:40,537 --> 00:01:42,505
- Mmmm...
- "Mmmm" what?!
46
00:01:42,573 --> 00:01:44,933
"Mmmm" no, this
isn't cyclophosphamate.
47
00:01:45,053 --> 00:01:48,318
Well what the... Krieger!
What the hell is it?!
48
00:01:48,438 --> 00:01:53,657
Well, this is just an
educated guess, but... Zima?
49
00:01:54,691 --> 00:02:05,230
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
50
00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:33,215
Oh my God, are you serious?
51
00:02:33,335 --> 00:02:35,142
Counterfeit cancer drugs?!
52
00:02:35,262 --> 00:02:37,750
Yeah, basically
candy corn and Zima.
53
00:02:37,817 --> 00:02:39,285
- Jesus...
- Which, probably why I've
54
00:02:39,352 --> 00:02:42,154
been in such a great mood, but
But Sterling, your tumor!
55
00:02:42,222 --> 00:02:43,956
All this time, it's been...?
56
00:02:44,057 --> 00:02:45,024
Growing, I guess.
57
00:02:45,091 --> 00:02:47,311
- Oh, Sterling...
- Plus God knows how many
58
00:02:47,431 --> 00:02:49,947
other cancer patients have
been taking that stuff.
59
00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:52,135
- Like Ruth...
- Here you go, folks.
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00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,734
A week's supply of breast cancer
chemotherapy drugs, and of course,
61
00:02:55,802 --> 00:02:56,935
your medical marijuana.
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00:02:57,003 --> 00:02:59,004
Oh, you poor thing.
63
00:02:59,072 --> 00:03:01,705
Does someone you love
have breast cancer?
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00:03:01,825 --> 00:03:03,075
Yeah. Me.
65
00:03:03,143 --> 00:03:05,611
- I'm uh, name's Archer.
- Ruth.
66
00:03:05,679 --> 00:03:07,346
And don't you worry, dear.
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00:03:07,414 --> 00:03:09,915
We can beat cancer
with this medicine.
68
00:03:09,983 --> 00:03:12,651
Even if I can barely pay for it.
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00:03:12,719 --> 00:03:17,623
Don't you worry, Ruth...
I'm gonna make them pay for it.
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00:03:17,691 --> 00:03:20,759
What're you...
Sterling no, you're not well!
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00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:22,027
What are you going to do?
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00:03:22,095 --> 00:03:25,130
Cry havoc, and let
slip the hogs of war.
73
00:03:25,198 --> 00:03:26,498
Dogs of war.
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00:03:26,566 --> 00:03:29,815
Whatever farm animal
of war, Lana, shut up.
75
00:03:43,450 --> 00:03:44,583
I think he gets it.
76
00:03:44,651 --> 00:03:47,186
Just film the confessions,
Lana, don't editorialize.
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00:03:47,253 --> 00:03:47,720
Do you get it?
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00:03:47,787 --> 00:03:49,755
- Yes! Look, please...
- Because I swear
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00:03:49,823 --> 00:03:52,524
to God I will strip back down
and show you all over again.
80
00:03:52,592 --> 00:03:53,959
I get it! I get it!
81
00:03:54,027 --> 00:03:55,127
You have a lot of guns!
82
00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:56,095
And a knife.
83
00:03:56,162 --> 00:04:00,223
Which I am going to push, very slowly,
into your urethra...
84
00:04:00,343 --> 00:04:01,147
Ew.
85
00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:03,464
ARCHER:... if you don't answer
my questions. Number one...
86
00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,139
Wow. What a pussy.
87
00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:09,908
I could barely even keep up, he
was spilling the beans so fast.
88
00:04:09,976 --> 00:04:12,358
Well, you threatened to
shove a knife up his dick hole.
89
00:04:12,478 --> 00:04:14,046
Which again, ick.
90
00:04:14,114 --> 00:04:16,448
Well excuse me,
Lana, it's a rampage.
91
00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:17,383
Still though.
92
00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:19,184
You really wanna take
on the Irish mob?
93
00:04:19,252 --> 00:04:19,952
No, I don't.
94
00:04:20,019 --> 00:04:22,321
But they're the ones switching
out life-saving cancer drugs
95
00:04:22,389 --> 00:04:24,189
with candy and Zima!
96
00:04:24,257 --> 00:04:26,458
And why couldn't it
be the Brazilian mob?
97
00:04:26,526 --> 00:04:29,349
Estou aprendendo português.
98
00:04:31,531 --> 00:04:33,632
Plus I can only assume a
Brazilian mob would be a
99
00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,106
jillion times sexier.
100
00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:39,872
Seriously, these potato-heads
have to be the unsexiest mob
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00:04:39,939 --> 00:04:41,740
of all time.
102
00:04:41,808 --> 00:04:43,642
You know who yer
messin with, boyo?!
103
00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:45,786
You ve any idea who our boss is?!
104
00:04:45,906 --> 00:04:49,796
Nope, but 100 people surveyed
number 1 answered I'm the board.
105
00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:52,606
Name the douchebag,
who's in charge.
106
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:53,742
Vincent.
107
00:04:53,862 --> 00:04:56,232
Van Go[BEEP]yerself.
108
00:04:56,352 --> 00:04:58,681
Vincent Van Go[BEEP]myself.
109
00:04:58,801 --> 00:05:00,726
Survey says!
110
00:05:00,794 --> 00:05:03,629
- Jesus, Archer!
- What, Lana?!
111
00:05:03,696 --> 00:05:04,963
I said it was a rampage!
112
00:05:05,031 --> 00:05:06,298
Still though!
113
00:05:06,366 --> 00:05:06,999
Rrrngh!
114
00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:07,833
Oh, you son of a hoor!
115
00:05:07,901 --> 00:05:10,669
Save it for the Fast Money round.
116
00:05:10,737 --> 00:05:14,106
Hundred people surveyed, number
one answer's still on the board.
117
00:05:14,174 --> 00:05:17,042
Name the douchebag,
who's in charge.
118
00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:19,645
Gonk gonk. Need an answer.
119
00:05:19,712 --> 00:05:21,513
Cock-flavored spit.
120
00:05:21,581 --> 00:05:23,482
Well, you never know what's
going to be on the board.
121
00:05:23,550 --> 00:05:26,118
Let me see cock-flavored spit.
122
00:05:26,186 --> 00:05:27,786
Guys, that's two strikes!
123
00:05:27,854 --> 00:05:30,789
One more and the innocent
Honduran janitors get a chce
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00:05:30,857 --> 00:05:32,424
to steal the bank!
125
00:05:32,492 --> 00:05:35,327
I'm just assuming you guys don't
know what actually goes on here.
126
00:05:35,395 --> 00:05:36,598
Hope that doesn't sound racist.
127
00:05:36,718 --> 00:05:38,466
- Okay, kid...
- He is a kid, Archer, so...
128
00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:40,766
Lana!
You're in the isolation booth!
129
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:43,581
- Looking for the douchebag, who's in...
- Mikey Hannity,
130
00:05:43,701 --> 00:05:47,139
You say one word and I'll cut
yer yella heart out myself...
131
00:05:47,207 --> 00:05:48,607
Oh! Christ!
132
00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:50,943
Mikey, listen to me.
133
00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:52,177
I have breast cancer.
134
00:05:52,245 --> 00:05:53,745
Ha! Breast cancer.
135
00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:58,048
So you'll forgive my impatience
because I and a lot of other people
136
00:05:58,168 --> 00:05:59,901
I've been trying to fight cancer
137
00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:02,573
- with your bosses fake chemo drugs.
- Chemo?
138
00:06:02,693 --> 00:06:05,659
They just told me it was cream for
male pattern baldness.
139
00:06:05,779 --> 00:06:07,377
Do I look like I need bald guy cream?
140
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:08,274
No, but I...
141
00:06:08,394 --> 00:06:10,127
Luckily, I can barely get a comb
through this.
142
00:06:10,247 --> 00:06:12,081
It's so thick my barber charges me double.
143
00:06:12,201 --> 00:06:13,177
I love my hair.
144
00:06:13,297 --> 00:06:16,535
- As I am sure you love your kneecap.
- Franny Delaney.
145
00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:18,122
He rules everything out here and Brooklyn.
146
00:06:18,242 --> 00:06:20,549
Numbers, protection, dope, prostitution.
147
00:06:20,669 --> 00:06:22,213
Victimless crimes, Mickey.
148
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:24,702
Tell me about the counterfeit chemo drugs.
149
00:06:24,722 --> 00:06:26,644
They make the pharmacist
buy the real stuff.
150
00:06:26,764 --> 00:06:29,078
Delaney says... I swear I don't know who,
151
00:06:29,111 --> 00:06:31,003
but they switch it
with the fake stuff here.
152
00:06:31,123 --> 00:06:33,162
And those pricks do all the packing.
153
00:06:33,282 --> 00:06:36,631
What? You guys are in on this?
And I was worried about sounding racist.
154
00:06:36,751 --> 00:06:38,846
- Were you?
- They don't even know what goes on here.
155
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,192
They can't even read English.
156
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,028
What all those dirty beaners care about is
157
00:06:42,148 --> 00:06:43,870
- taking American jobs.
- Well, relax, Kennedy.
158
00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:46,953
It wasn't all that long ago
that everybody hated the Irish.
159
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,654
For swarming over here
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00:06:48,682 --> 00:06:50,241
in their potato boats
and taking all the jobs.
161
00:06:50,361 --> 00:06:51,908
Yeah, they... Wait, what?
162
00:06:52,028 --> 00:06:53,065
And I'm pretty sure...
163
00:06:53,185 --> 00:06:54,399
...and guys feel free to correct me...
164
00:06:54,519 --> 00:06:57,720
...that beaner is a
pejorative term for a Mexican,
165
00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,392
Esta correto ou nao?
166
00:06:59,937 --> 00:07:02,802
Huh... Had to be a little more
overlap with the Portuguese.
167
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,187
Well, plus they're gagged.
168
00:07:04,307 --> 00:07:06,547
Still, though...
And third, is this the real stuff?
169
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:08,620
Yeah, this is all real.
Why?
170
00:07:08,688 --> 00:07:10,098
Because I'm way
behind on my treatment.
171
00:07:10,157 --> 00:07:11,561
Wait, Archer, what are you doing?
172
00:07:11,629 --> 00:07:13,738
I'm sorry, did I
mention I have cancer?
173
00:07:13,858 --> 00:07:16,878
I know, but now?
In... mid-rampage?
174
00:07:16,998 --> 00:07:18,368
You really think
that's a good idea?
175
00:07:18,435 --> 00:07:20,937
To take my prescribed
chemotherapy
176
00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:23,153
for my said aforementioned cancer?!
177
00:07:23,273 --> 00:07:24,688
Yes, idiot! I do!
178
00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:29,746
I'm sorry I called you an idiot.
179
00:07:29,813 --> 00:07:31,080
Yeah?
180
00:07:31,148 --> 00:07:32,682
Yeah, you were totally right.
181
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:34,317
Not a smart mid-rampage move.
182
00:07:34,385 --> 00:07:36,419
Wh-?!
And you think that is?!
183
00:07:36,487 --> 00:07:38,698
Yes, idiot! I do!
184
00:07:40,132 --> 00:07:42,058
Sorry. Again. I'm not myself.
185
00:07:43,009 --> 00:07:44,848
But you are kinda being a bitch.
186
00:07:49,861 --> 00:07:54,364
Okay so, day two of the
chemo-fueled rampage and, wow,
187
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,432
how ya holdin up?
188
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,761
Not great.
Uh, I've got wine coolers on my feet,
189
00:07:58,881 --> 00:08:01,598
because my toenails are popping
off like pogs, uh,
190
00:08:01,718 --> 00:08:05,823
fair amount of gastric distress,
and umm...scarf.
191
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:06,952
Yeah well, suck it up.
192
00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:08,761
I tracked Delaney to an
all-night poker game.
193
00:08:08,881 --> 00:08:10,196
Great, one second?
194
00:08:14,023 --> 00:08:16,643
I never thought I'd say this,
but I really miss the Zima.
195
00:08:17,522 --> 00:08:21,268
I mean was I there for every
single recital and lacrosse game? No.
196
00:08:21,388 --> 00:08:23,412
Is our adult relationship perfect?
197
00:08:23,532 --> 00:08:24,541
No.
198
00:08:24,661 --> 00:08:28,322
But I... I just can't even imagine
life without my precious Sterling.
199
00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:29,711
Have you ever told him that?
200
00:08:29,831 --> 00:08:31,318
What, are you kidding?
No.
201
00:08:31,438 --> 00:08:32,246
Wow, really?
202
00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:35,071
My mom told me how much she
loved me all the time.
203
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,840
Exactly.
Look how you turned out.
204
00:08:36,908 --> 00:08:39,376
Um...
with high self-esteem?
205
00:08:40,124 --> 00:08:41,311
Whatcha doin, Krieger?
206
00:08:41,379 --> 00:08:44,080
Well I feel bad for
Archer, so I'm making him some
207
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,582
Portuguese flashcards.
208
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:46,465
Portuguese?
209
00:08:46,585 --> 00:08:49,152
But isn't... I thought
Krieger was a German name.
210
00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:51,021
Oh, über German.
It means "warrior."
211
00:08:51,088 --> 00:08:52,081
So how come you know Portuguese?
212
00:08:52,201 --> 00:08:56,119
Because I grew up
in Braz... istol County, Rhode Island?
213
00:08:56,239 --> 00:08:58,228
Lotta Portuguese in Rhode Island.
214
00:08:58,348 --> 00:08:59,111
Where you're from.
215
00:08:59,231 --> 00:09:00,037
Born and raised!
216
00:09:00,157 --> 00:09:01,771
Uh-huh.
What's the state capital?
217
00:09:01,891 --> 00:09:02,538
Of?
218
00:09:02,658 --> 00:09:03,827
Rhode Island.
219
00:09:04,985 --> 00:09:06,270
- Dallas?
- Aha!
220
00:09:06,390 --> 00:09:07,066
What?
221
00:09:07,186 --> 00:09:08,886
It's Austin, duh!
222
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:10,340
It's Providence!
223
00:09:10,408 --> 00:09:12,976
But I bet he knows the capital of Brazil!
Don't you?!
224
00:09:13,044 --> 00:09:14,878
I don't have to answer that!
Who do...
225
00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:17,280
Warum hast du
Umzug nach Brasilien?!
226
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,164
Weiter den Kampf der mein Führer!
227
00:09:19,555 --> 00:09:21,205
Scheisse.
228
00:09:21,698 --> 00:09:24,402
- Oh my God...
- What the heck was that all about?
229
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,806
Duh!
230
00:09:26,356 --> 00:09:27,659
I actually have no idea.
231
00:09:27,779 --> 00:09:28,713
No shit.
232
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:31,356
Yeah, I don't know why I do that.
233
00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:35,750
Because I don't
want it in my car!
234
00:09:36,434 --> 00:09:38,001
Well what do you
want me to do, Lana,
235
00:09:38,069 --> 00:09:39,112
just throw it out the window?!
236
00:09:39,232 --> 00:09:41,268
- Obviously!
- Oh.
237
00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:44,474
Ha-ha. Uh-oh.
238
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,324
Gonna be sick again.
239
00:09:45,444 --> 00:09:46,598
Not in here you're not.
240
00:09:46,718 --> 00:09:48,583
- Then pull over, Lana.
- No, we're late.
241
00:09:48,703 --> 00:09:51,000
You already missed your
shot at Delaney as it is.
242
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,983
Well then now this is happening.
243
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:54,050
Wh-?
244
00:09:54,118 --> 00:09:55,315
Lana, did you see my scarf?
245
00:09:55,435 --> 00:09:57,520
Yes, Archer, I saw your scarf.
246
00:09:57,588 --> 00:09:59,657
- All my hair fell out.
- I'm sorry.
247
00:09:59,777 --> 00:10:02,179
Me too.
It was my fifth best feature.
248
00:10:04,286 --> 00:10:08,798
- Oh, I think it's your sweetness...
- Nobody's ever called me sweet before.
249
00:10:08,866 --> 00:10:12,820
Well, you're sweet enough to come
see a sick old lady in the hospital.
250
00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:13,503
What?
251
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,574
I didn't come by to see you, I'm
trying to bang a candy-striper.
252
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,137
But, um... it's not good, huh?
253
00:10:20,257 --> 00:10:21,411
No, dear.
254
00:10:21,479 --> 00:10:24,914
Afraid it's just not responding
to those chemo drugs.
255
00:10:24,982 --> 00:10:27,083
You two can't smoke in here!
256
00:10:27,151 --> 00:10:29,463
Oh, unwad your panties.
257
00:10:31,656 --> 00:10:32,589
Yeah!
258
00:10:32,657 --> 00:10:33,652
Archer!
259
00:10:33,772 --> 00:10:35,293
- What?!
- We're here.
260
00:10:35,596 --> 00:10:37,145
Oh. Right.
261
00:10:37,521 --> 00:10:38,585
You good?
262
00:10:43,467 --> 00:10:46,741
Rampaaaaaaaaage!
263
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:49,621
Little help?
264
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,227
Leave me alone!
265
00:10:51,347 --> 00:10:52,642
I'm not a Nazi!
266
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,244
Yeah, well what
about your father?!
267
00:10:54,312 --> 00:10:56,513
No, he was a scientist!
268
00:10:56,580 --> 00:10:58,948
Pretty sure the
Nazis had scientists.
269
00:10:59,016 --> 00:10:59,916
No they didn't!
270
00:10:59,984 --> 00:11:02,270
That's why we...
They lost the war!
271
00:11:02,390 --> 00:11:03,420
Lack of science!
272
00:11:03,487 --> 00:11:08,024
Well, we'll just see what Ms. Archer
has to say about this Nazi beeswax.
273
00:11:08,092 --> 00:11:09,170
Fine!
274
00:11:09,778 --> 00:11:12,985
Or, you know... not fine.
275
00:11:13,535 --> 00:11:17,233
Because between the cancer
and the chemo and the just
276
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:19,536
- shit-tons of weed...
- Actually yeah, good idea,
277
00:11:19,603 --> 00:11:21,313
let's hang back a
sec and burn one down.
278
00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:25,863
No. And I know it's not my business,
but I think you might have a problem.
279
00:11:25,983 --> 00:11:27,427
Yeah, it's called cancer?
280
00:11:27,547 --> 00:11:28,599
Well, and drug abuse.
281
00:11:28,719 --> 00:11:29,830
Thanks, Woodsy.
282
00:11:30,293 --> 00:11:31,614
The Drug Owl.
283
00:11:31,682 --> 00:11:33,483
Now shut up and kick
in the door for me.
284
00:11:33,551 --> 00:11:35,141
And do it badass like I would.
285
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,787
If I still had toenails.
286
00:11:36,907 --> 00:11:39,422
Shite, Joey, ya call this a hand?
287
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,323
More like a foot.
288
00:11:40,443 --> 00:11:43,363
- A great big...
- Franny Delaney!
289
00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:45,795
Stand your ass up!
290
00:11:45,863 --> 00:11:47,764
Oh, ya just missed him.
291
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:51,239
Shame too, cuz he just
loves the E Street Band.
292
00:11:52,703 --> 00:11:55,372
Did he just crack on my scarf?
293
00:11:55,439 --> 00:11:59,151
I think he did.
What the shit, Archer?!
294
00:11:59,271 --> 00:12:01,453
Oh, ow, sorry.
You idiot, asshole.
295
00:12:01,573 --> 00:12:05,639
Now we're even, Lana. From the time
you did that to me. I am sorry.
296
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:11,187
Speakin of hurt, boy,
yer steppin into a great big world of it.
297
00:12:11,307 --> 00:12:15,840
- So I suggest ya take yer bulldyke friend...
- Lana! Lana!
298
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,561
- Lanaaaaa!
- What!
299
00:12:18,629 --> 00:12:20,330
Well first of all
you don't have to yell, Lana.
300
00:12:20,398 --> 00:12:21,631
I don'have ear cancer.
301
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:25,902
Second, until I find out where
Delaney is, please stop shooting people.
302
00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:27,404
Go ahead and shoot me!
303
00:12:27,471 --> 00:12:29,939
Cuz ain't nothin in the
world can make me talk!
304
00:12:30,007 --> 00:12:35,011
- Well, you say that...
- W-what are ya doin back there?!
305
00:12:35,079 --> 00:12:38,181
Don't worry about what I'm
doing, concentrate on what you're doing.
306
00:12:38,249 --> 00:12:39,582
W-what am I doin?
307
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:42,352
For starters you can
apologize to my friend for
308
00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:43,486
your homophobic remarks.
309
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:46,415
I-I'm sorry, darlin!
I had no idea you were a gay!
310
00:12:46,535 --> 00:12:48,906
What? She's not gay,
she just has big hands.
311
00:12:49,026 --> 00:12:50,608
- What?
- Nothing, shut up.
312
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,323
I'm gonna assume you know the
difference between an M-26 and
313
00:12:53,443 --> 00:12:55,842
- a Mark Two fragmentation grenade, so...
- What?!
314
00:12:55,962 --> 00:12:57,777
- What?
- Oh sorry, do you not?
315
00:12:58,217 --> 00:13:02,139
Okay, the Mark Two has kinda...
nubbly ridges?
316
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:03,080
Ya feel those?
317
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,475
Different circumstances, might
actually feel pretty good.
318
00:13:05,543 --> 00:13:07,477
W-wait, son, now
just wait a second...
319
00:13:07,545 --> 00:13:10,108
Another key difference
is the pin.
320
00:13:10,228 --> 00:13:12,647
- Oh, Jaysus...
- See? The striking
321
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:13,790
lever's the same, though.
322
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:14,673
Spring-loaded.
323
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:17,797
Which reminds me: did you know
that men can also benefit from
324
00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:19,389
doing Kegel exercises?
325
00:13:20,179 --> 00:13:21,419
Case in point, huh?
326
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,155
Now where's your
cancer-patient-killing boss?
327
00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:25,820
Okay I got it, let's go.
328
00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:28,267
Wait, you're just gonna leave
him with a grenade stuck up his ass?!
329
00:13:28,387 --> 00:13:30,178
Yes, Lana, I am on a rampage!
330
00:13:30,298 --> 00:13:31,796
And also kidding,
it's a smoke grenade.
331
00:13:31,916 --> 00:13:32,749
Oh, thank...
332
00:13:36,396 --> 00:13:38,099
- Asshole.
- What?
333
00:13:38,456 --> 00:13:39,876
What?
334
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,013
What? What. Lana.
335
00:13:46,485 --> 00:13:50,627
What?!
I thought it was a smoke grenade.
336
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,754
They look exactly nothing alike!
337
00:13:54,623 --> 00:13:56,172
What?
338
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,494
What're you doing,
Delaney's not here.
339
00:13:59,561 --> 00:14:02,263
No, but my ENT doctor is.
340
00:14:02,331 --> 00:14:03,188
You like him?
341
00:14:03,308 --> 00:14:04,632
Because I sure do.
342
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:07,643
Good bedside manner, knows
all the parts of the ear.
343
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,800
- What was his name again?
- Mr. Archer?
344
00:14:10,176 --> 00:14:11,620
I guess you heard about Ruth.
345
00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:13,613
- What?
- About Ruth. I guess you heard.
346
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:16,754
- What?!
- Ruth! Your friend! Is dead!
347
00:14:16,874 --> 00:14:17,523
W-what?
348
00:14:17,643 --> 00:14:21,983
Regis. I wake up early
every morning and watch Regis.
349
00:14:22,051 --> 00:14:25,383
And that smile of his...
well, it gets me through the day.
350
00:14:25,503 --> 00:14:27,468
I'm gonna start doing that.
351
00:14:27,588 --> 00:14:29,157
Oh, you must.
352
00:14:29,224 --> 00:14:32,659
- Regis is the best.
- No, Ruth...you're the best.
353
00:14:33,525 --> 00:14:34,972
- Archer.
- Hm?
354
00:14:35,092 --> 00:14:37,541
- Archer!
- What? ! Oh.
355
00:14:38,934 --> 00:14:40,601
Man, what've I been doing?
356
00:14:40,669 --> 00:14:42,959
Chain-smoking joints
the size of tampons.
357
00:14:43,079 --> 00:14:44,482
- Ew.
- Figure of speech.
358
00:14:44,602 --> 00:14:45,322
Still though. Ew.
359
00:14:45,442 --> 00:14:47,642
LANA You're not rampaging?
I thought you were rampaging.
360
00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:50,111
Right yes, here we go.
Alright.
361
00:14:50,179 --> 00:14:52,109
I got this.! Franny Delaney!
362
00:14:52,229 --> 00:14:53,339
Let's take a walk!
363
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:54,582
A walk?
364
00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:56,451
Is that some sorta joke?
365
00:14:56,518 --> 00:14:58,853
A roll, then. Whatever.
366
00:14:58,921 --> 00:15:00,688
Are you not listening to me?!
367
00:15:00,756 --> 00:15:01,889
Well obviously not.
368
00:15:01,957 --> 00:15:05,026
My God, how is there not one
picture of us together?
369
00:15:05,094 --> 00:15:08,096
Krieger's father
was a Nazi scientist!
370
00:15:08,163 --> 00:15:11,065
And JFK's father
was a bootlegger.
371
00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:14,802
CYRIL Wh-? That's like comparing
apples to... Nazi oranges!
372
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,204
Oranges, exactly.
373
00:15:16,271 --> 00:15:18,630
Do you like powdered orange
breakfast drink?
374
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,365
- No, not really.
- How about micro-wave ovens,
375
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,842
Neil Armstrong, hook and loop fasteners?
376
00:15:24,451 --> 00:15:26,622
- Okay, you lost me.
- None of those things
377
00:15:26,742 --> 00:15:28,784
would be possible without
the Nazi scientists
378
00:15:28,904 --> 00:15:30,723
we brought back after World War II.
379
00:15:30,789 --> 00:15:34,547
- The Nazis invented Neil Armstrong?
- Rockets,
380
00:15:34,743 --> 00:15:36,577
which put him on the moon.
381
00:15:36,697 --> 00:15:38,765
After the war ended we were snatching up
382
00:15:38,885 --> 00:15:40,676
Kraut scientists like hot cakes.
383
00:15:40,796 --> 00:15:44,419
You don't believe me? Walk into NASA
sometime and yell "Heil Hitler!".
384
00:15:44,539 --> 00:15:46,831
They all jump straight up.
But, Cyril...
385
00:15:46,951 --> 00:15:50,252
I know all about Dr. Krieger's origins.
386
00:15:50,372 --> 00:15:53,216
And I also know that nobody
likes a tattle tale.
387
00:15:53,336 --> 00:15:56,130
- Yes, Cyril.
- And if it's one thing I've learned
388
00:15:56,250 --> 00:16:00,211
in all my years as a spy master
is that you keep your friends...
389
00:16:00,331 --> 00:16:02,414
- ...close.
- Yeah, Cyril.
390
00:16:02,534 --> 00:16:05,270
And possible genetic clones of Adolf Hitler
391
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,122
- ...closer.
- Yeah, Cyril.
392
00:16:07,242 --> 00:16:09,214
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, what?
393
00:16:09,726 --> 00:16:12,679
Oh, my God, it was you.
394
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:16,276
My 15th birthday... You...
You were at the compound.
395
00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:21,294
When they finish, bring me the boy.
396
00:16:23,325 --> 00:16:27,054
The day my pet dobermans
accidentally ate my father.
397
00:16:27,174 --> 00:16:28,222
- My father...
- Oh, Krieger...
398
00:16:28,477 --> 00:16:30,411
Nothing's an accident.
399
00:16:30,479 --> 00:16:31,913
Holy shitsnacks!
400
00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:34,081
Krieger's one of the
boys from Brazil!
401
00:16:34,149 --> 00:16:35,183
Duh!
402
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,851
Oh my God, seriously, I'm sorry.
403
00:16:36,919 --> 00:16:38,191
I think I need help or something.
404
00:16:38,311 --> 00:16:39,587
No shit.
405
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:41,923
And one more crack about
"monster hands" and I promise
406
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:45,259
you that I will shoot your fat
Irish faces off I'm sorry, was that racist?
407
00:16:45,327 --> 00:16:47,395
I'm not mad at you, I'm
sorry, I'm mad at Archer.
408
00:16:47,462 --> 00:16:49,230
Thanks to him I've got
two perforated eardrums,
409
00:16:49,298 --> 00:16:53,234
and I guess I've just been...
Getting hotboxed all day in my car!
410
00:16:53,302 --> 00:16:56,370
Shit, which I'm trying to
sell, but fat chance now!
411
00:16:56,438 --> 00:17:00,107
Bet it smells like... weed...
and rampage...
412
00:17:00,175 --> 00:17:02,330
Damn it, that is classic him!
413
00:17:03,178 --> 00:17:04,355
You guys have any snacks?
414
00:17:04,475 --> 00:17:05,238
Here.
415
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,483
This is good, right here.
416
00:17:06,603 --> 00:17:08,061
For what, boyo?
417
00:17:08,336 --> 00:17:09,550
We havin a picnic?
418
00:17:09,618 --> 00:17:10,715
Oh my God do you have snacks?
419
00:17:10,835 --> 00:17:14,455
No.
What I have, is a plane to catch.
420
00:17:14,523 --> 00:17:15,756
Yeah? To where?
421
00:17:15,824 --> 00:17:17,925
Some bigger mansion somewhere
else you bought with the
422
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,961
profits from your
fake chemo drugs?
423
00:17:20,028 --> 00:17:21,262
Pretty much, yeah.
424
00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:24,031
- So if you're gonna shoot me...
- Oh don't worry,
425
00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:25,166
I'm gonna shoot you.
426
00:17:25,234 --> 00:17:26,734
No yer not.
427
00:17:26,802 --> 00:17:28,436
You're an ISIS agent.
428
00:17:28,503 --> 00:17:30,465
Ya got a sense of
honor, fair play.
429
00:17:31,102 --> 00:17:32,006
What?
430
00:17:32,074 --> 00:17:36,377
You obviously haven't seen
my movie "Terms of Emrampagement,"
431
00:17:36,445 --> 00:17:39,080
- hang on that was lame...
- Ya killed my men, sure,
432
00:17:39,147 --> 00:17:40,214
but they were armed.
433
00:17:40,282 --> 00:17:42,709
I'm just a sick old
man in a wheelchair.
434
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,887
- You can't do it, boy. I know you.
- You don't know me!
435
00:17:45,954 --> 00:17:48,322
I know you
better than yer muther...
436
00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:50,947
Who I had for three
days, at Dûc Quay.
437
00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:54,228
Can you, um, go
ahead and repeat that?
438
00:17:54,296 --> 00:17:57,302
I said I had your mother
for three days at Dûc Quay.
439
00:17:57,422 --> 00:18:01,006
And was that uh, hopefully,
some sort of Vietcong prison camp?
440
00:18:01,126 --> 00:18:03,337
Single's resort.
Phuket, Thailand.
441
00:18:03,405 --> 00:18:05,306
Whole place ran on beads.
442
00:18:05,374 --> 00:18:09,010
But lemme tell ya boyo,
that muther o' yers found a
443
00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,145
whole new way to use 'em!
444
00:18:11,213 --> 00:18:13,047
To use... the beads?
445
00:18:13,115 --> 00:18:15,549
Oh yeah. Boop!
446
00:18:15,617 --> 00:18:18,386
And then zzzzzziiiinnnng!
447
00:18:18,453 --> 00:18:20,189
Like an SSP racer.
448
00:18:21,690 --> 00:18:23,253
Good times.
449
00:18:23,373 --> 00:18:24,692
Goodbye, Archer.
450
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,535
Tell yer muther to
gimme a call sometime.
451
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:33,238
Delaney?
452
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,936
Yes?
453
00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:37,405
Did you see Regis this morning?
454
00:18:37,472 --> 00:18:39,745
Yes. Why?
455
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,372
Yes. Why?
456
00:18:59,861 --> 00:19:02,196
- Oh for the love of...
- Shut up! Shut up,
457
00:19:02,264 --> 00:19:03,698
here it comes!
458
00:19:03,765 --> 00:19:05,099
Booyakashaaaaa!
459
00:19:05,167 --> 00:19:06,834
Right in the face!
460
00:19:06,902 --> 00:19:09,337
I swear to God, I could
watch this a million times.
461
00:19:09,404 --> 00:19:11,305
I'd swear to God we already have.
462
00:19:11,373 --> 00:19:12,740
Well too bad, mother.
463
00:19:12,808 --> 00:19:14,008
Booyakashaaa!
464
00:19:14,076 --> 00:19:14,709
Booyakashaaa!
465
00:19:14,776 --> 00:19:16,577
Hey just because
he was your boyfriend...
466
00:19:16,645 --> 00:19:17,979
What, "boyfriend"?!
467
00:19:18,046 --> 00:19:20,648
It was two weeks in Phuket,
anything goes over there.
468
00:19:20,716 --> 00:19:22,683
Zzzzzziiiinnnng!
469
00:19:22,751 --> 00:19:24,819
Ahem. Wildly inappropriate.
470
00:19:24,886 --> 00:19:25,786
Seriously, Pam.
471
00:19:25,854 --> 00:19:27,235
Okay, Clone Wars.
472
00:19:27,355 --> 00:19:28,404
Zing.
473
00:19:28,464 --> 00:19:29,584
And Mother, we had a deal.
474
00:19:29,704 --> 00:19:33,227
I supply the mimosas and bagels and
lox, and you people shut up and
475
00:19:33,295 --> 00:19:36,263
ingest them and watch
"Terms of Emrampagement."
476
00:19:36,331 --> 00:19:38,385
- Ugh...
- Which, obviously, working title.
477
00:19:38,505 --> 00:19:39,600
We have watched it!
478
00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:42,303
Every Friday for
the past three months!
479
00:19:42,371 --> 00:19:44,038
- I'm not complainin...
- See?
480
00:19:44,106 --> 00:19:46,874
Twelve straight weeks and Pam's
still on Team Live Badass.
481
00:19:46,994 --> 00:19:48,743
Yeah, and Team Live Badass?
482
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:50,578
That's the best you
could come up with?
483
00:19:50,645 --> 00:19:52,380
Well, Lana, since
you already had dibs on
484
00:19:52,447 --> 00:19:55,282
- Team I Have An Oversized Vagina...
- Hey shut up!
485
00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:55,950
You shut up!
486
00:19:56,018 --> 00:19:59,729
And everybody else shut up and
watch "Terms of Emrampagement!"
487
00:20:01,323 --> 00:20:03,457
Why don't you
call it "Magnum P.U."?
488
00:20:03,525 --> 00:20:05,860
It's a working title!
Idiots!
489
00:20:05,927 --> 00:20:07,513
Liked him better
when he had cancer...
490
00:20:07,633 --> 00:20:09,583
First of all,
what the shit? ! Mother!
491
00:20:09,703 --> 00:20:12,066
And second of all too bad,
because the doctor says
492
00:20:12,134 --> 00:20:14,104
my cancer is in total remission.
493
00:20:14,408 --> 00:20:15,951
Seriously, what is cancer?
494
00:20:16,071 --> 00:20:19,407
So I'll probably never get any
sort of cancer again, ever.
495
00:20:19,474 --> 00:20:22,076
So shut up and watch my movie.
496
00:20:22,144 --> 00:20:23,644
For which I really
need a better title.
497
00:20:23,712 --> 00:20:25,889
How about "Citizen Dickbag"?
498
00:20:26,410 --> 00:20:27,669
"Snark Victory"?
499
00:20:29,782 --> 00:20:30,954
Wait, I got it!
500
00:20:31,074 --> 00:20:32,547
Casablampkin.
501
00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:42,917
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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