All language subtitles for Ms.Pat.Settles.It.S03E09.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

- All rise!
- Hey, y'all, I'm Ms. Pat,

and I know the inside
of a courtroom.

Man, that girl is innocent!

You ain't the damn judge.

Get ready to see real cases.

I want you out of my house.

Real drama and real money
on the line.

I gave her my kidney.

Give it back.

And I'm bringing my friends
to court as my jury.

Lock her ass up!

Y'all may have
started this mess,

but you know
I'm gonna settle it.

Ms. Pat, Ms. Pat.

- You droppin' teeth.
- See, that's my tooth.

- You smokin' dope.
- That was my asthma pump.

Y'all must have
a good time together.

- BOTH: We do.
- [laughter]

All rise, because court
is back in session.

She's the judge,
the jury, and the auntie

you ain't asked for.

All rise for Ms. Pat.

♪♪♪

MS. PAT:
Have a seat.

All right.
How y'all doing, jury?

- Hey.
- Pat, you look cute today.

I love that hair.

The jury has spoken,
and Ms. Pat is fire!

[laughter]

MS. PAT: All right, jury,
y'all ain't gotta worry

about being fair,
we're cracking cases,

we ain't baking
no damn cookies.

Come on, bailiff,
get to bailiff-ing.

This is the case
of Strickland versus Livingston.

Please enter the courtroom.

ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff Kandace
Strickland

is suing her former
best friend Shynise for $5,000.

She says Shynise botched
her eyelashes so bad,

she had to go to
the hospital.

Defendant Shynise Livingston
says Kandace was happy with

the lashes and only
batted an eye when

she got a view
of the price tag.

It's like the yellow
about to sting.

ANNOUNCER: That's the real
reason she's "lashing" out.

Y'all swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you, God?

- I do.
- Now, before we get started,

I just want to let y'all know,
don't be scared

of my jury because all of them
got chased home from school.

[laughter]

Tell me why you're here,
Kandace.

I am suing my former
best friend Shynise

for $5,000 for my
medical bill

after she purposely glued
my lashes together.

What?

I hit her up for
a last-minute appointment.

I had a little date going on

and I had a little boo
I had to go see,

so I paid her $120 to
get them done.

And this one,
I literally closed,

but it didn't happen
until after I had left.

Ended up going
cock-eyed the whole way

to the hospital and having
my eye patched up for a week,

so I'm here suing my best friend
for my hospital bill.

Wow. Eyes wide shut.

Okay, Shynise.

Like she said, she came for
a last-minute appointment.

I was fully booked,
but she's my bitch,

and of course I'm going to
let her in for an appointment.

When she got up
off the table,

she could see
perfectly fine.

That's exactly why
I shouldn't pay the money.

Are you a professional
lash tech?

- Yeah.
- No, she's not licensed.

Did you know
she wasn't licensed?

I knew
she wasn't licensed,

but with that being
my best friend,

I thought I can trust her.

- She's done lashes before.
- MS. PAT: I don't care.

Where she doing that,
in the kitchen?

I did her lashes
in my bedroom.

Do you have proof
of what she looked like

when she left your house?

I submitted a video.

All right,
let's see the proof.

CARMEN: Ooh, I see her using
both her eyes.

You don't look blind.

Is it the left eye
that closed?

It look like
it's closing already.

I literally did a video,

and right after
my eye was irritated.

Mind you,
I only do strip lashes.

That was my first time

getting extensions lashes
done by her.

That's not because of me.

That's because of her.

Did you give her
any aftercare instructions?

Yes, ma'am, I told her,
and I gave it to her,

and she said
she didn't want it.

She don't even got
all that materials

to offer me that.

What happened when you got
to the emergency room?

They basically
put something

to get the lash to come up,
like, from off my eye.

You have proof
you went to the hospital?

- Yes, ma'am, I sure do.
- Let me see whatever you have.

KANDACE: Okay.

CARMEN: Well, the bill
does look a little sketchy.

You don't have
no health insurance?

KANDACE:
No, ma'am, I don't.

What did they
diagnose you with?

That's been a while back,

and I low-key
kind of don't remember.

- She had sperm in her eyes.
- Sperm?

Oh, wait a minute, ma'am.

This is an honest,
Christian courtroom.

Who are you talking about?

She didn't go to the hospital,
she went to that man.

You said she made
a stop

before she got
to the hospital.

- Exactly.
- And you know that.

Oh, yes, I know her.

And she drove over there
with one eye.

She drove over there
with two eyes

and left with one eye.

- ALL: Ooh!
- [laughter]

Is that true?

Ms. Pat, Ms. Pat.

Don't "Ms. Pat" me.

That is not true, Ms. Pat.

This girl knows
what she's doing.

Did you reach out to her
and tell her

that your eye
was messed up?

- Yes, ma'am, I did.
- And what did you say?

I laughed at the [bleep].

[laughter]

You can't say [bleep].

Yeah, don't say [bleep],

what the [bleep]
is wrong with you?

I laughed.

This is exactly why I feel
like it was done on purpose.

Why are you so angry?

Ms. Pat, if only you'd seen
how she slandered my name

all over Facebook.

Do you have any evidence?

- Yes.
- Get it, bailiff.

I really feel like
she's trying

- to sabotage my business.
- NENE: Oh, God.

MS. PAT: "This is what happenS
when you book an

"unlicensed lash tech
slash hairstylist.

"I would never go and get
my lashes done by her again.

Don't book with her."

You wrote that
about your best friend?

Yes, ma'am.

When she acted like she wasn't
concerned, I felt like

it was my place to tell other
people not to go to her.

This is exactly why
I shouldn't be here.

All right, I'm getting
ready to go to my jury.

Come on, Nene.

NENE: Is it possible that
you could have used

the wrong glue
on her eyelashes?

- Oh, no.
- It's possible.

You could have had
an allergic reaction.

- KANDACE: Yes, ma'am.
- I dealt with that myself.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Come on, Karlous.

Ms. Pat, in all of my times
and travels and my journeys,

I listened to Black women.

And one thing that
I've heard Black women saying,

"Stay out of Black women's
business."

So this shit ain't
got nothing to do with me.

[laughter]

MS. PAT: All right.
Any final remarks

- you would like to make?
- Well...

I'm hoping that we can
rekindle our friendship.

Any final remarks
before I make my decision?

I love you.

But, girl, my bill's due,
I can't give you that.

She the realest mother [bleep]
I've met in my life.

[laughter]

I can't wait to see
how this turns out.

Stay within the eyes of the
law, Ms. Pat, both of them.

KARLOUS:
Hey, y'all stop making jokes.

She might lash out.

I'm about to lash out
right now.

I'm going to settle this,
once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the defendant, Shynise.

You don't have to
pay her anything.

And let me tell you why.

You went to your
good friend

who you knew was unlicensed,
and you knew your friend

- couldn't do that service.
- Yes, ma'am.

I just settled it.

SHYNISE:
I still love you.

Ms. Pat, I hope
they can remain friends,

even though they didn't
see eye to eye.

[laughter]

If they was real friends,
they would've stuck together.

KARLOUS: Some baked chicken,
some macaroni and cheese.

I wouldn't have paid
$6,000 for this either.

That's a lot of food
to fix for 200 people.

Green beans on here twice.

Did y'all have
a contract together?

I definitely did.

CARMEN: Wait a minute,
not a napkin.

It's a legal
binding contract,

as long as you--
Now, who kissed this here?

- [laughter]
- Oh!

- MS. PAT: Hey, y'all.
- Hey.

What the [bleep] is that?

Buck Wild, Ms. Pat.

[laughter]

What the [bleep]?

- [laughter]
- Real estate, real estate.

- What the--?
- [laughter]

Y'all play too damn much.

Bailiff, get to bailiff-ing.

This is the case
of Higgs versus Redic.

Please enter the courtroom.

ANNOUNCER:
Plaintiff Tawanda Higgs

is suing her cousin,
Javossiya,

for $3,500, the amount
she says she's still owed

for catering
Javossiya's wedding.

Tawanda says she only
received a $2,500 deposit

on the $6,000 job.

- I bet her neck hurt.
- [laughter]

ANNOUNCER:
Defendant Javossiya Redic says

she paid for the food,

but her family
did most of the serving,

so she shouldn't have to pay
the remaining balance.

Her cousin
is turning her "I do"

into a "I wish I didn't."

...the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you, God?

Tell me why
you're here, Tawanda.

I'm here to sue my cousin,
Javossiya, for the $3,500

that she owed me for catering
her wedding reception.

I am a caterer.

I've been doing it
for ten years.

I did my cousin's wedding.

It was $6,000.

She paid me $2,500 of it.

I'm here to get
the remaining balance

of the $3,500
that she owed me.

She signed this contract,
so she need to pay me.

Javossiya, tell me
your side of the story.

I asked my cousin
to cater my wedding.

I paid for the food.

This $2,500 was for
the ingredients and the food.

I don't feel like
I owe her for the serving part.

That's the remainder
she's asking for.

It was a family affair.

Like, everybody pitched in
to help serve.

And shortly after
the wedding,

she wanted to get
a catering van,

so I gave her
$2,500 toward her van.

MS. PAT: Okay, you have any
pictures of the wedding?

Yes, I do.

Let me see the pictures
of the wedding.

ALL: Aww...

Purple hair
is your thing, huh?

- [laughter]
- MS. PAT: You were so pretty.

- Thank you.
- Oh, shit!

CARMEN:
You wasn't playing.

MS. PAT: How many people
was you cooking for?

About 280 people.

$6,000 for 280 people, girl?

That is a steal.

Was the food good?

Yeah, it was good.

Explain to me how she
ended up owing you

for a wedding reception.

You didn't get
your money the day of?

No. It's normally due two weeks
before the wedding.

That's what
the contract says.

- Can I have it?
- But she was my cousin.

I knew she had
a lot of stuff to pay,

and she told me she'd catch me
on the back end

when she'd get
some deposit back.

And I was cool with it.

KARLOUS: Some baked chicken,
some macaroni and cheese,

rice pi-laf.

I wouldn't have paid
$6,000 for this either.

Hello.

Oh, that rice paid
five-five-five, green beans...

- [laughter]
- Oh, my God.

Pilaf!

What is wrong with y'all?

That's a lot of food
to fix for 200 people.

Green beans on here twice.

Nobody want all them
damn green beans.

[laughter]

Javossiya, you ever done
anything for Tawanda?

Yes, I gave her $2,500
toward her van.

- Did she give you $2,500?
- She did.

Was it a loan or was it
just a gift?

She never said I owed her back
and we definitely

didn't sign no contract,
but this contract is binding.

Why do you think
you don't owe her any money?

I mean, because of what
I went through.

She's seen the hurt.

What did you go through?

The marriage only
last three months.

Oh, I thought
the food hurt you.

I don't think I ever met anybody
that got a divorce this quick

other than Kim Kardashian.

You broke up
after three months

so you feel like
you shouldn't have to pay?

Yeah, that's family.

We're like sisters.
I used her.

- I wanted to...
- We know you used her.

- [laughter]
- No.

Jury, I'm going to go
to my jurors.

Come on and help me,
Carmen.

Javossiya, she don't care
about nothing.

She didn't even
brush her hair good today,

just came into court.

- [laughter]
- Carmen!

Shut your greasy ass up.

I think that you...

You planned for your
husband at the time

to pay that balance.

But before you can
even ask him

or even get the money from him,
all hell broke loose.

I like you, Jasmin.

Because that's what happened.

So what you up to now?
What you up to?

Karlous, please.

Oh!

She saw you in that mink
coat earlier, Karlous.

She was like,
"Karlous, please."

That's what I heard.

Karlous,
you fumble baddies.

Sometimes it ain't
a fumble, baby, it's a punt.

[laughter]

So I've come to my
final decision,

and I'm going to
settle this once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the plaintiff, Tawanda.

[applause]

Javossiya, you ordered to pay
Tawanda $3,500.

You know, just because
she's family

don't mean you don't
have to pay her.

Your marriage didn't last,
but this contract lasted.

[laughter]

With that,
I just settled it.

Y'all get out of
my courtroom.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

[mocking]
"He fumbles baddies."

[laughter]

Shut your punk ass up
and pay your cousin.

She borrowed $875 from me,
allegedly for her rent,

but I found out that it
was for a BBL.

- Let us see, turn around.
- MS. PAT: I don't see shit.

She paid to go get stung
by a wasp.

All right, jury,
let's make it quick,

because I'm trying
to catch happy hour

and get me some
lemon covered wings.

All flats.

Oh, my God,
that's what I like, too.

Atlanta, everybody want
all flats.

I like the drums.

The all flat thing's here
in Atlanta because

most of us don't have
our back teeth.

All right,
you ready, bailiff?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Get to bailiff-ing, please.

This is the case of Letcher
versus Marvel.

Please enter the courtroom.

ANNOUNCER:
Plaintiff Clarencia Letcher

is suing her
ex-business partner,

Xavier for $1,500 that she
invested into their podcast.

Defendant Xavier Marvel
says he's not subscribing to

Clarencia's allegation.

This podcast was his idea
from the start.

CARMEN:
Sir, can you breathe?

- Them pants tight as hell.
- [laughter]

ANNOUNCER: He claims if anyone
is in the red, it's her...

I want to know how the [bleep]
you got them boots.

ANNOUNCER: ...to the tune of
$800 she never paid back.

...the whole truth and nothing
but the truth,

- so help you, God?
- CLARENCIA: I do.

Clarencia, please tell me
why you're here today, baby.

Today I am here
to sue my ex-friend,

ex-business partner,
Xavier, for $1,500

for a podcast that I helped
establish and I started up.

Once the podcast
came off the ground,

he was supposed to split
the monies with me

from the social
media platforms.

Did he keep the money?

You don't see all these
new boots he keep buying?

[laughter]

Xavier, give me
your side of the story, baby.

Ms. Pat, I don't know
why she brought me here

for something that
I discovered

and something
that I created myself.

- She was just there.
- ALL: Ooh...

MS. PAT: And what was
the name of the podcast?

- Shady Pines.
- Shady Pines?

That sound like
a retirement home.

[laughter]

What was the podcast about?

The podcast
is just about me.

It's drama that goes on
in our hometown

of Natchez, Mississippi.

- You from Mississippi?
- Yes, ma'am.

- That's where Karlous's from.
- Oh.

Not that part,
I'm from the top.

- [laughter]
- I'm from the top.

What was the deal
with this podcast

you set up with him?

The deal was that I was
going to bring

my brains and my budget.

He really
not business-oriented.

He bought the ring light
and the vibes.

The ring light?

MS. PAT: How much money did
you put into it?

I put $1,500
into Shady Pines.

- Give me your receipts, girl.
- Yes, ma'am.

Five hundred on the website,
another $250 on the LLC

and everything like that.

MS. PAT: Did y'all have
a contract together?

I definitely did.

What contract?

The one you signed
after lunch.

Girl, we was at Burger King.

You act like we was at
a five-star dinner.

[laughter]

CARMEN: Wait a minute,
not a napkin.

JASMIN:
Seal it with a kiss?

It's a legal binding contract
as long as you...

- Now, who kissed this shit?
- [laughter]

Oh! Oh!

I wanted you
to match the lips

because I didn't want him
to say what he just did.

Lord, have mercy.

Now, it say, "We declare
this is a 50-50 partnership...

- Yes, ma'am.
- "...on behalf of

"the new podcast,
Shady Pines.

Let's go, bitches."

So he kept the money from what
y'all made on social media.

Yes, ma'am.

Why didn't you pay her back?

You signed the contract
and she kissed it.

It wasn't that much money.

Like, you know,
$500 here, $600 there.

To be honest,
I don't think that

I actually owed her anything

because she also borrowed
$875 from me,

allegedly for her rent.

But I found out down the line
that it was for a BBL.

- ALL: Ooh...
- I got some proof.

- Let us see, turn around.
- [laughter]

ANNOUNCER: Clarencia Letcher
is suing Xavier Marvel

for her share
of podcasting profits.

Xavier says
she got her share.

Ms. Pat's ready to record her
verdict for this "pod" couple.

She also borrowed
$875 from me,

allegedly for her rent.

But I found out down the line
that it was for a BBL.

- ALL: Ooh...
- I got the proof.

MS. PAT:
You bought an $800 ass?

XAVIER:
This look the same.

CARMEN: Girl, if you don't get
your money back

from them damn people...

You want me
to walk in the middle?

KARLOUS: Yeah, let us see.
What you got?

CLARENCIA:
It's one bunk bed.

- It's not two.
- [laughter]

I don't see shit.

She paid to go get
stung by a wasp.

Baby, be quiet, you need
to pay to get your knees done.

They already pleading guilty,
knocking on each other.

[laughter]

- CARMEN: He a Minute Man.
- Oh, sure.

Yeah, they knocking on
Heaven's door, but it's okay.

So, you got a half
a BBL for $875.

[laughter]

And he kept
the money from what

y'all made on social media.

Right, the monetization.

Was you on the
podcast every day?

All the time.

He was getting like
40-something viewers.

People started coming on there
because of me.

- Really?
- Yes.

Do you think they were
coming to see you?

I'm basically the lead singer
of the group

and she was just
backup, so...

- CARMEN: Okay, Beyoncé!
- [laughter]

MS. PAT: Xavier, give me
the voice when people call in.

Pretend I'm calling in.

Ooh, Xavier,
I got some tea for you.

We're having a great day here
at Pimps and Players

dot-Shade [bleep] dot-com.
How can I assist your call?

What did you just say?

Right now, you're not
proving your case to me

that you are the star
of this podcast.

If I was talking to one of
my messy-ass cousins,

it would be much easier.

Come on, I got the bailiff.

Call in, bailiff.

- Hey... [bleep]
- [laughter]

Okay, calm down, calm down.

I got to hear you.

Yes, we're having a great day
here at Pimps and Players

dot-Shade-dot-com,
where [bleep].

- [laughter]
- Is this a hotel?

Now, let me hear you
give us the tea.

Girl, allegedly,
Megan was down there

with her man, Tay Tay
done found out that they was

at the store together
and they came up there

with not only her friends,
but her man too.

Ooh!

Maybe the whole town
know about it.

Well, I think we have
a verdict, Pat.

[applause]

Okay, I'm going on
over here to my jury.

I'm going to start
with you this time, Jasmin.

Give me your point.

You came in here
with all this energy,

and I wanted to believe you.

You said you was
the Beyoncé of the group,

and you was giving us
Michelle.

I'm just saying,
I'm going with green.

KARLOUS:
Now, I respect the good hustle.

For him to be out here
just blowing the money

on little boots
and little jackets,

that ain't doing nothing
but trying to get

the rest of the money
so she can go get

- the rest of her BBL.
- [laughter]

All right, I've come to
my final decision,

and I'm going to settle this
once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the plaintiff, Clarencia.

Clarencia, you put $1,500
to start the podcast,

but Xavier gave you $875

to get one half of
your ass done,

which leaves you
a balance of $625.

I just settled it.

Y'all get out of
my courtroom.

Yes, ma'am.

CARMEN: He had no circulation
in them legs.

I know them
tight-ass pants.

[laughter]

SAFAREE:
Oh, he fell for real.

MS. PAT: He all right?

As soon as he got
in the hallway,

the boot said, "Damn,
we lost!" and fell down.

[laughter and applause]

Only on the Ms. Pat Show.

[rapping] ♪ Gavel in the hand
with a side-eye glance ♪

♪ If you're acting up,
you don't stand a chance ♪

[rapping]
♪ She ain't paying you back ♪

♪ I don't think she gonna
pay you back ♪

Did y'all get a divorce
because he can't drive?

He's seeing too many cars.

I really think
you need a go-cart.

[laughter]

Why didn't you just come out
your pocket and pay the $1,500?

It was just out of sight,
out of mind.

It ain't no
out of sight, out of mind.

She was right there,
looking like you.

Every time you looked in the
mirror, you should have

been saying,
"Bitch, I owe you $1,500."