Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:07,640
It seems today that all you see is
violence in movies and sex on TV.
2
00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:13,140
But where are those good old -fashioned
values on which we used to rely?
3
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,740
Lucky there's a family guy.
4
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:23,760
Lucky there's a man who, a new man who,
all the things that make us laugh and
5
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:28,420
cry. We are Family Guy!
6
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:40,660
What is this? It's incredible.
7
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,620
It's like, I mean, one must presume the
car was on the way to eat at home, but,
8
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,360
you know, because restaurants have a
reputation of convenience and
9
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:51,260
deliciousness, the driver was forced to
veer away, putting other drivers at
10
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:54,700
risk. But that just underscores how much
better restaurants are than home.
11
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:57,220
That's what makes it funny. That's why
we're all laughing.
12
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,720
Have you never seen a meme?
13
00:00:58,920 --> 00:00:59,759
A meme?
14
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:00,760
What the devil is that?
15
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:04,099
People take an image and put some stupid
little text on it and think they're
16
00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:06,800
funny. Memes are basically Mad Libs for
personality.
17
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,960
Take it easy, they're free.
18
00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:12,400
No, they take zero thought or effort,
like movies for Kevin Costner.
19
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:16,380
Okay, so your character's in a cowboy
hat looking way off in the distance.
20
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,840
What if it's just kind of off in the
distance?
21
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:23,860
Uh, sure. And you're having a really
hard time. What if it's just kind of a
22
00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:28,180
time? That should work. Oh, and the
leading lady is young, but I'm guessing
23
00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:29,340
prefer kind of young?
24
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:31,580
Nah. I won't push back on that one.
25
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:40,240
Ah, never gonna have a better
opportunity.
26
00:01:40,460 --> 00:01:41,378
Excuse me, sir?
27
00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:44,240
Okay, you're out on the water. Settle a
bet between me and Cleveland.
28
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,940
Is the Little Mermaid black?
29
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,040
I don't know about that, but I'm a Navy
SEAL, so I'm legally required to inform
30
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,580
you that I killed Bin Laden.
31
00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:54,480
If that's true, what's his first name?
32
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,540
Osama. This guy's the real deal.
33
00:01:58,060 --> 00:01:59,440
Do you think whales ate him by now?
34
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:03,300
Actually, based on where we dumped him
and the way the ocean historically
35
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,940
he could be near Quahog.
36
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:06,440
Wait a minute, guys.
37
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:10,600
If we got a boat and found Bin Laden, we
could charge people five bucks to kick
38
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:15,200
him in the balls. Or the butt. Yeah,
sure, balls or butt. Who's in? In. In.
39
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:17,220
Thank you for your service.
40
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,480
Oh, I'm not a sailor. I'm just a
Brazilian guy in my everyday clothes.
41
00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:23,340
Oh, then thank you for your outside
dancing.
42
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,200
It's nothing. I'll see you outside.
43
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:26,940
Samba, samba, samba.
44
00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:36,850
Hey, Bri, are vegans known for, like,
always talking about being vegans? Uh,
45
00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:37,970
yeah, I guess.
46
00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:39,710
Click on that.
47
00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:43,870
This makes zero sense.
48
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,990
No, because vegans are always, like,
telling you they're vegan, right?
49
00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:52,090
Okay. And see, it says nobody because,
like, nobody asked, right? But this guy,
50
00:02:52,270 --> 00:02:56,270
our protagonist, he doesn't care. Oh,
no, he doesn't care about the nobody.
51
00:02:56,270 --> 00:02:59,430
just going to jump on in there and give
you his two bits. But, like, nobody
52
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:02,590
asked, right? That's why it says nobody
up top. Is that hilarious?
53
00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:04,170
Yeah, I'm trying to work.
54
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,790
Yeah, I should get back to work, too.
55
00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:09,870
Forwarding memes isn't work. Well, the
Internet begs to differ. I'm getting a
56
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:11,210
lot of likes on my posts.
57
00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:14,790
They're not your posts. You're not doing
anything original, says the guy writing
58
00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:16,450
a script called Barbie 3.
59
00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:19,870
Yeah, because somebody's probably
already doing Barbie 2. Yeah, I think
60
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:21,170
doing the same level of original.
61
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,790
Look at this one!
62
00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:31,170
It's based on the game Rock, Paper,
Scissors. That's why it's funny. But
63
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,790
baby? Like, I'm already laughing.
64
00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:34,070
Can you even?
65
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,250
So this was your idea?
66
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:37,910
No. But you found the pictures?
67
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:41,630
No. Well, you must have come up with the
text. No, but I knew the perfect time
68
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,350
to hit send. That's what it's all about.
69
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:44,590
You didn't do anything.
70
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,520
Brian, it's like this. The mean is the
plane, and I'm the pilot. Right, so
71
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,920
sometimes the plane goes on autopilot,
but I'm still at the controls drinking
72
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:52,819
Diet Coke.
73
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:57,740
So you're the autopilot of comedy? I get
you from not laughing Rhode Island to
74
00:03:57,740 --> 00:04:01,720
laughing Rhode Island. It takes one hour
to drive diagonally across the entire
75
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,140
state. I should have said Texas.
76
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,140
You know, Lois said it's stupid to look
for Bin Laden's corpse because a drunk
77
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:12,260
guy at a bar said to. But look at us.
78
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,960
I'm getting kind of hungry. What'd you
bring for eats, Peter?
79
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:20,040
Wheat thins and Costco muffins. That's
all guys need. Peter, that is a home
80
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,219
Out of the park.
81
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:25,340
I was smiling as soon as you said it.
Lois looked sad when she saw the food.
82
00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:27,220
That was good food. You did really good.
83
00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:29,400
Wives just want us to do what they want.
84
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,600
Say less, King.
85
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,620
You know, it's so easy and fun with you
guys out here. Sometimes I wish the
86
00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:35,760
world was just guys.
87
00:04:39,539 --> 00:04:41,940
Oh, my God! We've been struck by
lightning!
88
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,180
I think I possibly took the brunt of it.
89
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,040
Oh,
90
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:57,360
my
91
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,360
God! The boat!
92
00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:01,860
Yeah, we might be out here for a while,
so someone needs to carry the
93
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:04,960
conversation. Did you guys know that
Triscuit...
94
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,880
is short for electric biscuit.
95
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,760
Also, there are no raccoons in Alaska.
96
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,900
Let's just all drown quietly to
ourselves.
97
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,620
How's that?
98
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:35,620
Joe was a true friend.
99
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,720
I'm going to miss him so much. And we
should probably start sorting out who's
100
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:44,240
going after Bonnie. Nice try,
Weisenheimers. Joe, how'd you make it
101
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,540
floats. How about you guys?
102
00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:49,740
We clung to old graduation balloons and
one turtle who was caught in the ribbon.
103
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:54,060
A little help with the ribbon? We're not
supposed to touch you because then your
104
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,160
mom won't take you back.
105
00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:00,080
My mom died before America was formed.
Oh, yeah, you guys live a long time,
106
00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:02,900
Yeah, I was in the Turtle Brigade in the
Civil War.
107
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,620
Which side? Don't ask which side.
108
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,460
Does anybody's phone work?
109
00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:09,780
No. Negative.
110
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,760
We need to find shelter for the night.
111
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:16,800
Oh, my God! A house!
112
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:27,260
It looks like a villain's lair.
113
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,820
Yeah, it's like Robocop's beach house
from the 80s future.
114
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:34,820
Word of caution, if you run around in
socks in this place, you are definitely
115
00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:35,860
slipping, my friends.
116
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:37,260
I'm zonked. I'm in a crash.
117
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,500
Yeah, me too. I call the master bedroom.
118
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,040
It's called a primary bedroom now.
119
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,080
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll be in the bedroom
primary baiting.
120
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,460
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.
121
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:55,500
Coming up, one side of a local news
station falling into a sinkhole. But
122
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,580
wreckage from a quahog boat was just
spotted a few miles off the coast of
123
00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:01,400
gay party spot Fire Island.
124
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,000
I wonder if that's Peter's boat.
125
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:08,240
Damn, right to voicemail. Hey, this is
Pete, single and ready to mingle.
126
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:16,460
There we go. That ought to break
someone's ankle this summer.
127
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,760
Dogs and holes.
128
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,200
Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.
129
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,560
What? No, I'm just saying, this is a
mood.
130
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,000
How is this a mood?
131
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,460
Elaborate. No, I'm just saying, I was
today years old when I learned dogs are
132
00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:32,340
vindictive. Why are you talking like
that? I'm in my meme phase, Bri. When I
133
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:36,220
can't see them, I talk like them. My man
talks like a internet now.
134
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,540
Well, stop it. It's stupid.
135
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:40,000
Cranky writer upset at friend's fun.
136
00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:43,000
Didn't have that on my 2026 bingo card.
137
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,820
Bingo card is so good.
138
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:48,080
What bingo card? Show me the card.
139
00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:50,650
Well, it's more about what's not on the
bingo card.
140
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,430
Yeah, it's what's not on there, Brian.
141
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:57,270
Also, don't bingo cards just have
numbers and not entire phrases?
142
00:07:57,590 --> 00:08:00,890
Yeah, you kind of have to be funny to
get it. All right, I'm going in. You're
143
00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:04,910
making no sense. I think what you mean
to say is the math ain't mathin'.
144
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:06,090
Full stop.
145
00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:11,330
Yeah, you don't have to say full stop.
That's what a period is. Yo, we talking
146
00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:12,330
about periods?
147
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,900
Let me let you in on a little
toothbrushing secret.
148
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,940
Crest. How is crest a secret?
149
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,980
This was all there was in the closet.
150
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,039
Yeah, same here.
151
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,320
Do we look chic? What's chic?
152
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,580
OMG, look at all us chic -ass boys.
153
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,320
I'll check on our phone.
154
00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:37,799
Still nothing.
155
00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:38,799
I can't believe this.
156
00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,480
Wait, do you hear that?
157
00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:48,050
These must be the island natives.
158
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:51,910
They clearly have a proud culture of
music, dance, and flavored vodka.
159
00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:55,910
Wow, everybody's just doing what they
like. Those hefty bearded guys are
160
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,910
watching the Mets game.
161
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,970
And those shiny little jack guys are
playing underwear volleyball.
162
00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:03,710
Yeah, and everybody else is drinking,
dancing, and horsing off in the pool.
163
00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:08,130
Is it possible this is Kokomo? It's
checking too many boxes.
164
00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:13,050
Wait, don't you see? On the boat, I
wished for a world that was just guys,
165
00:09:13,050 --> 00:09:14,110
then we got struck by lightning.
166
00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:16,870
I manifested this place into existence.
167
00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:18,810
Come on, we gotta fit in with the
locals.
168
00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:26,210
Hi, I'm Peter. Our boat crashed here,
and we slept in a future house with
169
00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:27,450
toilets and white couches.
170
00:09:27,970 --> 00:09:31,850
Julian, we all get to the island in our
own way, but you're here, and you
171
00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:36,130
belong. Are there any women on the
island? Just one. Her name is Molly, and
172
00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:38,890
sits in your mouth. Say, hello, Molly.
173
00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:40,310
Hello, Molly.
174
00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:49,090
My God, it feels like Christmas morning.
On Fire Island, every day is Christmas.
175
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:56,390
Spike the drinks with pills of molly, fa
-la -la -la -la, la -bo -win -yang.
176
00:09:56,730 --> 00:10:01,250
Lid -la -bet and pot and dolly, fa -la
-la -la -la, la -bo -win -yang.
177
00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:06,130
Don, we now are gay apparel, fa -la -la
-la -la, la -bo -win -yang.
178
00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:11,070
My, just roofie, carl and furrow, fa -la
-la -la -la, la -bo -win -yang.
179
00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:14,710
With the ladies, we don't bother.
180
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:16,970
Fa -la -la -la -la, Bowen Yang.
181
00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:19,470
Give us to a leap of water.
182
00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,830
Fa -la -la -la -la, Bowen Yang.
183
00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:26,650
Bravo is our only cable. Fa -la -la -la
-la, Bowen Yang.
184
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:32,730
Eight mimosas for the table. Fa -la -la
-la -la, Bowen Yang.
185
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:35,590
And Pete Buttigieg.
186
00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:41,890
Hey, Stewie, what is all this?
187
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,040
My memes have been getting so much
attention that I got a book deal.
188
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:48,200
What? You just forward other people's
pictures and words.
189
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,040
Yeah, the biggest reward for winning new
media is getting to do old media.
190
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:54,020
Drake meme here.
191
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,020
Boston cop slide meme here.
192
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,420
Willy Wonka here.
193
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,660
Kermit sipping tea here. This is
ridiculous.
194
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:00,959
You're not an author.
195
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,600
Yeah, that's not what Harper Collins
thinks.
196
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:07,700
Either Harper or Collins just sent a
clip from my audio book. We used Morgan.
197
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,140
Don't you just love Morgan?
198
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:10,820
Chapter two.
199
00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:16,630
We see Will Ferrell with a mustache. The
caption reads, me shopping with my
200
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:20,150
wife. It looks to me like he'd rather be
anywhere else.
201
00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:28,390
What a day. Riding bikes in town, being
so loud at restaurants that people
202
00:11:28,390 --> 00:11:32,950
leave, sending food back before we even
saw it. Thanks for taking us in. Of
203
00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:35,320
course. Of course. We're a community
here.
204
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:39,520
Everyone pulls weight and helps in their
own way. A lot of us don't feel
205
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:40,960
supported in our regular lives.
206
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,640
That's exactly how I feel.
207
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,240
My phone works.
208
00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:49,160
Peter, you're alive!
209
00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:54,240
Not only alive, I'm thriving on a magic
island I wish for that's just guys who
210
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,980
are nice. I want you to meet Timothy,
Michael, and Robert.
211
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,240
Hi, Tim, Mike, and Rob.
212
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:03,230
No! For some reason, we only use full
names here. It's like the only thing we
213
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:07,250
get mad about. You're on Fire Island,
Peter. It's just a place for Wall Street
214
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:09,150
guys and regional weathermen to be gay.
215
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:12,810
Lois, you're embarrassing me. None of
these guys' wives are calling them.
216
00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:14,590
enough. You need to come home.
217
00:12:14,890 --> 00:12:15,990
No, it's too fun here.
218
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:20,130
When dessert comes out, we say we'll
only have a bite, but we have more than
219
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:22,190
bite. Then we call Chef Mario a devil.
220
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,860
You know what happens when you tell our
secrets, Peter.
221
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,820
Don't do it. Don't do it, Timothy.
222
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,580
I'm going to tickle you.
223
00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:35,600
I'm starting to think Chef Mario's not
the devil. You are, Timothy.
224
00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:38,320
Peter's having a great time.
225
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,520
He's definitely not being tickled too
much.
226
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:43,680
I'm alive, I'm fine, and I'm staying.
227
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:45,200
Gotta go, Lois. I'm driving.
228
00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:46,420
Bye.
229
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,140
Dad's safe.
230
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,520
He's on Fire Island.
231
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:59,210
We haven't paid for anything yet. Can we
chip in for brunch?
232
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:03,230
Robert is tallying the weekend costs so
you can settle up all at once.
233
00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:04,510
Oh, okay.
234
00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:06,890
$5 ,000 each should do it.
235
00:13:07,650 --> 00:13:09,570
I'm sorry, $5 ,000?
236
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,190
I didn't even have a bed.
237
00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:13,890
Yeah, slobs sleep on couches.
238
00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:17,010
You guys owe $5 ,000 too?
239
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,750
No, I'm hot, so I don't have to pay.
240
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,440
I thought this was a community where
everyone takes care of each other. Yeah,
241
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:26,020
I'll go pay for hotties. Why should hot
people pay?
242
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,320
That's gross.
243
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,120
Do you not have $5 ,000?
244
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:30,720
No. Why?
245
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,520
Because I have a wife.
246
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:33,780
Ew.
247
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:36,420
Perhaps there's another way we can pay.
248
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,700
Well, my house does need a new roof.
249
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,820
Perhaps something else?
250
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,320
Okay, I cut our debt in half, but we
gotta get the hell off this island.
251
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,950
I hope you have an escape plan, Peter.
Don't worry. We just got to think
252
00:13:56,950 --> 00:14:00,050
the box. That's how those guys came up
with the log flume ride.
253
00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:03,930
All right, Madsen. I need a new idea for
a ride or you're fired.
254
00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:08,210
Got it. Have you ever taken a bath and
wished you were going slowly uphill?
255
00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:09,730
I think everyone has.
256
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:13,730
And you know how people love to get
soaking wet and then not be able to go
257
00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:14,730
for five hours?
258
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:18,390
Yeah. And don't you think the second
word in a ride should be a word you've
259
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,510
never heard before in any other context?
260
00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:22,270
Maybe. What's the word?
261
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,820
Flume. Madsen, we're gonna be rich.
262
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,960
Thank you all for coming. Sorry you had
to watch me whisper -fight my publicist
263
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:34,980
for getting the wrong tea.
264
00:14:35,260 --> 00:14:36,260
Too late, Tiffany.
265
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,060
All right, chapter one.
266
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:42,320
So women take a long time to get ready,
but this guy takes it way further.
267
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,900
This skeleton, who starts presumably as
a regular human guy, thinks his wife is
268
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:47,879
almost ready.
269
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,040
Cut to him being a skeleton and all of
us laughing.
270
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:55,380
I love how he called the guy a human
guy. Very quirky, very funny.
271
00:14:57,900 --> 00:15:02,200
This isn't clever, and it's not comedy.
Brian, this is comedy now.
272
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,900
Oh, it's a shortcut for people who
aren't actually funny to seem funny.
273
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,540
Well, I like to think I'm capturing a
relatable feeling and sharing it with
274
00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:13,880
You forward -reheated soundbite
leftovers to idiots doing the same
275
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,739
all idiots.
276
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,700
Congrats on your stolen comedy valor.
277
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,880
Uh, sir, this is a Wendy's.
278
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,760
That's from online.
279
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,100
And this guy's done adulting.
280
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,200
So good.
281
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,480
So good.
282
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,000
OK, so the plan is, when they use the
blender, we move.
283
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,460
Put on these rollerblades. Next blender,
we're through the gate.
284
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,600
Those freeloaders are getting away!
285
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,500
Beach game, activate!
286
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,480
Weren't you trying to get away from us?
287
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,420
Julian, I meant the boat. Sorry, I'm
twisted.
288
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,960
YMCA occupation gaze, activate!
289
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:13,940
Peter, the deer!
290
00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:20,849
I already got bit by kids.
291
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:27,970
That's the last ferry of the day.
292
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:29,230
It's too far.
293
00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:30,409
Wait, Peter.
294
00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:33,930
Do you still have that cocaine locket
that Julian gave you? Yeah, but I wanted
295
00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:36,210
to save it for a special night with my
family.
296
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:37,430
Peter.
297
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,400
Oh, my God. We made it.
298
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,200
Bye. Have a fun trip.
299
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,740
Aren't you mad at us? We're guys.
300
00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:02,580
We get over stuff fast. Come back next
summer for our PJ party.
301
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,300
We'll bring our families.
302
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,800
No, don't. Don't bring them.
303
00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:11,580
Morning, Stewie.
304
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:18,900
What is this? What are you doing? Well,
I can't get you to stop doing memes, so
305
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:20,880
this exorcism will rid you of them.
306
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:26,270
I won't recycle images from the office
and add my own text to it. I won't
307
00:18:26,270 --> 00:18:28,790
recycle... Oh, Bri, you sweet summer
child.
308
00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:30,110
This isn't going to work.
309
00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:32,250
We have other ways.
310
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,490
Chris, but I thought you were on my
side.
311
00:18:35,770 --> 00:18:39,930
Well, I'm Gen Z and loyal to no one. Bet
you didn't have that on your bingo
312
00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:42,090
card. What is that?
313
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:46,910
You're getting a lobotomy. When I flip
the switch, all memes will rush into
314
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,710
brain and explode out of you.
315
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:49,930
No, please!
316
00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:54,790
It's working!
317
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,430
First world problem.
318
00:18:58,030 --> 00:19:00,950
Cringe. Weird black, but okay.
319
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:10,910
Stewie, can you talk as yourself?
320
00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:13,530
Am I... am I doing it?
321
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,190
Oh, thank God, you're back.
322
00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:17,430
I wonder where all those memes went.
323
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,840
This is why we can't have nice things.
324
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,760
Where do you come up with this stuff?
325
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,520
Home again, home again, giggity -gig.
326
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,560
Peter, I'm so happy you're home.
327
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:40,340
Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry. I guess I
learned that both men and women are
328
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:41,740
bitchy when money is involved.
329
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,440
That's what you learned?
330
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,060
And that I'd rather get yelled at by a
woman than get yelled at by a guy.
331
00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:49,060
Oh, a thousand percent. It's safer.
332
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,400
I love you, Lois.
333
00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:55,490
Oh, Peter, I love you, too. I'm glad
you're home.
334
00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:00,670
I thought you'd be more mad at me.
335
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:06,070
Oh, I could be mad and have a dozen
unopened jars, or I'll forgive you, have
336
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,890
open the jars and start my soup.
337
00:20:08,130 --> 00:20:09,570
Start with the big Rao's one.
338
00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:15,010
I will, Lois, even though that one
always hurts my hand. I'm just so happy
339
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:16,230
back in a world with women.
340
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:21,300
Good, because I had the craziest dream
last night, and I'm going to tell you
341
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:24,360
about it. Okay, so follow me here. It's
complicated.
342
00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:27,980
Here's $5 ,000. I want back in.
343
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,820
Sorry, Stewie. I just need to make sure
all that meme nonsense is done.
344
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,920
See, he's smirking because he's so proud
of himself for ordering a pizza.
345
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:47,089
Funny, right?
346
00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:48,650
No, not funny or clever.
347
00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:50,450
Good to have you back, buddy.
348
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:53,350
Said no one.
349
00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:59,870
It's funny because it's just like
ordering a pizza. That expression is
350
00:20:59,870 --> 00:21:03,350
too big for just ordering food to a
place you usually wouldn't.
27688
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.