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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:07,640 It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV. 2 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:13,140 But where are those good old -fashioned values on which we used to rely? 3 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,740 Lucky there's a family guy. 4 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:23,760 Lucky there's a man who, a new man who, all the things that make us laugh and 5 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:28,420 cry. We are Family Guy! 6 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:40,660 What is this? It's incredible. 7 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,620 It's like, I mean, one must presume the car was on the way to eat at home, but, 8 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,360 you know, because restaurants have a reputation of convenience and 9 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:51,260 deliciousness, the driver was forced to veer away, putting other drivers at 10 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:54,700 risk. But that just underscores how much better restaurants are than home. 11 00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:57,220 That's what makes it funny. That's why we're all laughing. 12 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,720 Have you never seen a meme? 13 00:00:58,920 --> 00:00:59,759 A meme? 14 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:00,760 What the devil is that? 15 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:04,099 People take an image and put some stupid little text on it and think they're 16 00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:06,800 funny. Memes are basically Mad Libs for personality. 17 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,960 Take it easy, they're free. 18 00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:12,400 No, they take zero thought or effort, like movies for Kevin Costner. 19 00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:16,380 Okay, so your character's in a cowboy hat looking way off in the distance. 20 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,840 What if it's just kind of off in the distance? 21 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:23,860 Uh, sure. And you're having a really hard time. What if it's just kind of a 22 00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:28,180 time? That should work. Oh, and the leading lady is young, but I'm guessing 23 00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:29,340 prefer kind of young? 24 00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:31,580 Nah. I won't push back on that one. 25 00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:40,240 Ah, never gonna have a better opportunity. 26 00:01:40,460 --> 00:01:41,378 Excuse me, sir? 27 00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:44,240 Okay, you're out on the water. Settle a bet between me and Cleveland. 28 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,940 Is the Little Mermaid black? 29 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,040 I don't know about that, but I'm a Navy SEAL, so I'm legally required to inform 30 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,580 you that I killed Bin Laden. 31 00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:54,480 If that's true, what's his first name? 32 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,540 Osama. This guy's the real deal. 33 00:01:58,060 --> 00:01:59,440 Do you think whales ate him by now? 34 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:03,300 Actually, based on where we dumped him and the way the ocean historically 35 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,940 he could be near Quahog. 36 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:06,440 Wait a minute, guys. 37 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:10,600 If we got a boat and found Bin Laden, we could charge people five bucks to kick 38 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:15,200 him in the balls. Or the butt. Yeah, sure, balls or butt. Who's in? In. In. 39 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:17,220 Thank you for your service. 40 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,480 Oh, I'm not a sailor. I'm just a Brazilian guy in my everyday clothes. 41 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:23,340 Oh, then thank you for your outside dancing. 42 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,200 It's nothing. I'll see you outside. 43 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:26,940 Samba, samba, samba. 44 00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:36,850 Hey, Bri, are vegans known for, like, always talking about being vegans? Uh, 45 00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:37,970 yeah, I guess. 46 00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:39,710 Click on that. 47 00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:43,870 This makes zero sense. 48 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,990 No, because vegans are always, like, telling you they're vegan, right? 49 00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:52,090 Okay. And see, it says nobody because, like, nobody asked, right? But this guy, 50 00:02:52,270 --> 00:02:56,270 our protagonist, he doesn't care. Oh, no, he doesn't care about the nobody. 51 00:02:56,270 --> 00:02:59,430 just going to jump on in there and give you his two bits. But, like, nobody 52 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:02,590 asked, right? That's why it says nobody up top. Is that hilarious? 53 00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:04,170 Yeah, I'm trying to work. 54 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,790 Yeah, I should get back to work, too. 55 00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:09,870 Forwarding memes isn't work. Well, the Internet begs to differ. I'm getting a 56 00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:11,210 lot of likes on my posts. 57 00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:14,790 They're not your posts. You're not doing anything original, says the guy writing 58 00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:16,450 a script called Barbie 3. 59 00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:19,870 Yeah, because somebody's probably already doing Barbie 2. Yeah, I think 60 00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:21,170 doing the same level of original. 61 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,790 Look at this one! 62 00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:31,170 It's based on the game Rock, Paper, Scissors. That's why it's funny. But 63 00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,790 baby? Like, I'm already laughing. 64 00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:34,070 Can you even? 65 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,250 So this was your idea? 66 00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:37,910 No. But you found the pictures? 67 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:41,630 No. Well, you must have come up with the text. No, but I knew the perfect time 68 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,350 to hit send. That's what it's all about. 69 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:44,590 You didn't do anything. 70 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,520 Brian, it's like this. The mean is the plane, and I'm the pilot. Right, so 71 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,920 sometimes the plane goes on autopilot, but I'm still at the controls drinking 72 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:52,819 Diet Coke. 73 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:57,740 So you're the autopilot of comedy? I get you from not laughing Rhode Island to 74 00:03:57,740 --> 00:04:01,720 laughing Rhode Island. It takes one hour to drive diagonally across the entire 75 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,140 state. I should have said Texas. 76 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,140 You know, Lois said it's stupid to look for Bin Laden's corpse because a drunk 77 00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:12,260 guy at a bar said to. But look at us. 78 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,960 I'm getting kind of hungry. What'd you bring for eats, Peter? 79 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:20,040 Wheat thins and Costco muffins. That's all guys need. Peter, that is a home 80 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,219 Out of the park. 81 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:25,340 I was smiling as soon as you said it. Lois looked sad when she saw the food. 82 00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:27,220 That was good food. You did really good. 83 00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:29,400 Wives just want us to do what they want. 84 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,600 Say less, King. 85 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,620 You know, it's so easy and fun with you guys out here. Sometimes I wish the 86 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:35,760 world was just guys. 87 00:04:39,539 --> 00:04:41,940 Oh, my God! We've been struck by lightning! 88 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,180 I think I possibly took the brunt of it. 89 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,040 Oh, 90 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:57,360 my 91 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,360 God! The boat! 92 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:01,860 Yeah, we might be out here for a while, so someone needs to carry the 93 00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:04,960 conversation. Did you guys know that Triscuit... 94 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,880 is short for electric biscuit. 95 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,760 Also, there are no raccoons in Alaska. 96 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,900 Let's just all drown quietly to ourselves. 97 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,620 How's that? 98 00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:35,620 Joe was a true friend. 99 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,720 I'm going to miss him so much. And we should probably start sorting out who's 100 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:44,240 going after Bonnie. Nice try, Weisenheimers. Joe, how'd you make it 101 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,540 floats. How about you guys? 102 00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:49,740 We clung to old graduation balloons and one turtle who was caught in the ribbon. 103 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:54,060 A little help with the ribbon? We're not supposed to touch you because then your 104 00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,160 mom won't take you back. 105 00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:00,080 My mom died before America was formed. Oh, yeah, you guys live a long time, 106 00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:02,900 Yeah, I was in the Turtle Brigade in the Civil War. 107 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,620 Which side? Don't ask which side. 108 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,460 Does anybody's phone work? 109 00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:09,780 No. Negative. 110 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,760 We need to find shelter for the night. 111 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:16,800 Oh, my God! A house! 112 00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:27,260 It looks like a villain's lair. 113 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,820 Yeah, it's like Robocop's beach house from the 80s future. 114 00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:34,820 Word of caution, if you run around in socks in this place, you are definitely 115 00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:35,860 slipping, my friends. 116 00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:37,260 I'm zonked. I'm in a crash. 117 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,500 Yeah, me too. I call the master bedroom. 118 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,040 It's called a primary bedroom now. 119 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,080 Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll be in the bedroom primary baiting. 120 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,460 Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. 121 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:55,500 Coming up, one side of a local news station falling into a sinkhole. But 122 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,580 wreckage from a quahog boat was just spotted a few miles off the coast of 123 00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:01,400 gay party spot Fire Island. 124 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,000 I wonder if that's Peter's boat. 125 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:08,240 Damn, right to voicemail. Hey, this is Pete, single and ready to mingle. 126 00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:16,460 There we go. That ought to break someone's ankle this summer. 127 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,760 Dogs and holes. 128 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,200 Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait. 129 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,560 What? No, I'm just saying, this is a mood. 130 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,000 How is this a mood? 131 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,460 Elaborate. No, I'm just saying, I was today years old when I learned dogs are 132 00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:32,340 vindictive. Why are you talking like that? I'm in my meme phase, Bri. When I 133 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:36,220 can't see them, I talk like them. My man talks like a internet now. 134 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,540 Well, stop it. It's stupid. 135 00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:40,000 Cranky writer upset at friend's fun. 136 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:43,000 Didn't have that on my 2026 bingo card. 137 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,820 Bingo card is so good. 138 00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:48,080 What bingo card? Show me the card. 139 00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:50,650 Well, it's more about what's not on the bingo card. 140 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,430 Yeah, it's what's not on there, Brian. 141 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:57,270 Also, don't bingo cards just have numbers and not entire phrases? 142 00:07:57,590 --> 00:08:00,890 Yeah, you kind of have to be funny to get it. All right, I'm going in. You're 143 00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:04,910 making no sense. I think what you mean to say is the math ain't mathin'. 144 00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:06,090 Full stop. 145 00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:11,330 Yeah, you don't have to say full stop. That's what a period is. Yo, we talking 146 00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:12,330 about periods? 147 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,900 Let me let you in on a little toothbrushing secret. 148 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,940 Crest. How is crest a secret? 149 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,980 This was all there was in the closet. 150 00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,039 Yeah, same here. 151 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,320 Do we look chic? What's chic? 152 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,580 OMG, look at all us chic -ass boys. 153 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,320 I'll check on our phone. 154 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:37,799 Still nothing. 155 00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:38,799 I can't believe this. 156 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,480 Wait, do you hear that? 157 00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:48,050 These must be the island natives. 158 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:51,910 They clearly have a proud culture of music, dance, and flavored vodka. 159 00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:55,910 Wow, everybody's just doing what they like. Those hefty bearded guys are 160 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,910 watching the Mets game. 161 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,970 And those shiny little jack guys are playing underwear volleyball. 162 00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:03,710 Yeah, and everybody else is drinking, dancing, and horsing off in the pool. 163 00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:08,130 Is it possible this is Kokomo? It's checking too many boxes. 164 00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:13,050 Wait, don't you see? On the boat, I wished for a world that was just guys, 165 00:09:13,050 --> 00:09:14,110 then we got struck by lightning. 166 00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:16,870 I manifested this place into existence. 167 00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:18,810 Come on, we gotta fit in with the locals. 168 00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:26,210 Hi, I'm Peter. Our boat crashed here, and we slept in a future house with 169 00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:27,450 toilets and white couches. 170 00:09:27,970 --> 00:09:31,850 Julian, we all get to the island in our own way, but you're here, and you 171 00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:36,130 belong. Are there any women on the island? Just one. Her name is Molly, and 172 00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:38,890 sits in your mouth. Say, hello, Molly. 173 00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:40,310 Hello, Molly. 174 00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:49,090 My God, it feels like Christmas morning. On Fire Island, every day is Christmas. 175 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:56,390 Spike the drinks with pills of molly, fa -la -la -la -la, la -bo -win -yang. 176 00:09:56,730 --> 00:10:01,250 Lid -la -bet and pot and dolly, fa -la -la -la -la, la -bo -win -yang. 177 00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:06,130 Don, we now are gay apparel, fa -la -la -la -la, la -bo -win -yang. 178 00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:11,070 My, just roofie, carl and furrow, fa -la -la -la -la, la -bo -win -yang. 179 00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:14,710 With the ladies, we don't bother. 180 00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:16,970 Fa -la -la -la -la, Bowen Yang. 181 00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:19,470 Give us to a leap of water. 182 00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,830 Fa -la -la -la -la, Bowen Yang. 183 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:26,650 Bravo is our only cable. Fa -la -la -la -la, Bowen Yang. 184 00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:32,730 Eight mimosas for the table. Fa -la -la -la -la, Bowen Yang. 185 00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:35,590 And Pete Buttigieg. 186 00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:41,890 Hey, Stewie, what is all this? 187 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,040 My memes have been getting so much attention that I got a book deal. 188 00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:48,200 What? You just forward other people's pictures and words. 189 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,040 Yeah, the biggest reward for winning new media is getting to do old media. 190 00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:54,020 Drake meme here. 191 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,020 Boston cop slide meme here. 192 00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,420 Willy Wonka here. 193 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,660 Kermit sipping tea here. This is ridiculous. 194 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:00,959 You're not an author. 195 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,600 Yeah, that's not what Harper Collins thinks. 196 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:07,700 Either Harper or Collins just sent a clip from my audio book. We used Morgan. 197 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,140 Don't you just love Morgan? 198 00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:10,820 Chapter two. 199 00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:16,630 We see Will Ferrell with a mustache. The caption reads, me shopping with my 200 00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:20,150 wife. It looks to me like he'd rather be anywhere else. 201 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:28,390 What a day. Riding bikes in town, being so loud at restaurants that people 202 00:11:28,390 --> 00:11:32,950 leave, sending food back before we even saw it. Thanks for taking us in. Of 203 00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:35,320 course. Of course. We're a community here. 204 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:39,520 Everyone pulls weight and helps in their own way. A lot of us don't feel 205 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:40,960 supported in our regular lives. 206 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,640 That's exactly how I feel. 207 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,240 My phone works. 208 00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:49,160 Peter, you're alive! 209 00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:54,240 Not only alive, I'm thriving on a magic island I wish for that's just guys who 210 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,980 are nice. I want you to meet Timothy, Michael, and Robert. 211 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,240 Hi, Tim, Mike, and Rob. 212 00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:03,230 No! For some reason, we only use full names here. It's like the only thing we 213 00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:07,250 get mad about. You're on Fire Island, Peter. It's just a place for Wall Street 214 00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:09,150 guys and regional weathermen to be gay. 215 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:12,810 Lois, you're embarrassing me. None of these guys' wives are calling them. 216 00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:14,590 enough. You need to come home. 217 00:12:14,890 --> 00:12:15,990 No, it's too fun here. 218 00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:20,130 When dessert comes out, we say we'll only have a bite, but we have more than 219 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:22,190 bite. Then we call Chef Mario a devil. 220 00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,860 You know what happens when you tell our secrets, Peter. 221 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,820 Don't do it. Don't do it, Timothy. 222 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,580 I'm going to tickle you. 223 00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:35,600 I'm starting to think Chef Mario's not the devil. You are, Timothy. 224 00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:38,320 Peter's having a great time. 225 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,520 He's definitely not being tickled too much. 226 00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:43,680 I'm alive, I'm fine, and I'm staying. 227 00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:45,200 Gotta go, Lois. I'm driving. 228 00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:46,420 Bye. 229 00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,140 Dad's safe. 230 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,520 He's on Fire Island. 231 00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:59,210 We haven't paid for anything yet. Can we chip in for brunch? 232 00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:03,230 Robert is tallying the weekend costs so you can settle up all at once. 233 00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:04,510 Oh, okay. 234 00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:06,890 $5 ,000 each should do it. 235 00:13:07,650 --> 00:13:09,570 I'm sorry, $5 ,000? 236 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,190 I didn't even have a bed. 237 00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:13,890 Yeah, slobs sleep on couches. 238 00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:17,010 You guys owe $5 ,000 too? 239 00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,750 No, I'm hot, so I don't have to pay. 240 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,440 I thought this was a community where everyone takes care of each other. Yeah, 241 00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:26,020 I'll go pay for hotties. Why should hot people pay? 242 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,320 That's gross. 243 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,120 Do you not have $5 ,000? 244 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:30,720 No. Why? 245 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,520 Because I have a wife. 246 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:33,780 Ew. 247 00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:36,420 Perhaps there's another way we can pay. 248 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,700 Well, my house does need a new roof. 249 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,820 Perhaps something else? 250 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,320 Okay, I cut our debt in half, but we gotta get the hell off this island. 251 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,950 I hope you have an escape plan, Peter. Don't worry. We just got to think 252 00:13:56,950 --> 00:14:00,050 the box. That's how those guys came up with the log flume ride. 253 00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:03,930 All right, Madsen. I need a new idea for a ride or you're fired. 254 00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:08,210 Got it. Have you ever taken a bath and wished you were going slowly uphill? 255 00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:09,730 I think everyone has. 256 00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:13,730 And you know how people love to get soaking wet and then not be able to go 257 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:14,730 for five hours? 258 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:18,390 Yeah. And don't you think the second word in a ride should be a word you've 259 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,510 never heard before in any other context? 260 00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:22,270 Maybe. What's the word? 261 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,820 Flume. Madsen, we're gonna be rich. 262 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,960 Thank you all for coming. Sorry you had to watch me whisper -fight my publicist 263 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:34,980 for getting the wrong tea. 264 00:14:35,260 --> 00:14:36,260 Too late, Tiffany. 265 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,060 All right, chapter one. 266 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:42,320 So women take a long time to get ready, but this guy takes it way further. 267 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,900 This skeleton, who starts presumably as a regular human guy, thinks his wife is 268 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:47,879 almost ready. 269 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,040 Cut to him being a skeleton and all of us laughing. 270 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:55,380 I love how he called the guy a human guy. Very quirky, very funny. 271 00:14:57,900 --> 00:15:02,200 This isn't clever, and it's not comedy. Brian, this is comedy now. 272 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,900 Oh, it's a shortcut for people who aren't actually funny to seem funny. 273 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,540 Well, I like to think I'm capturing a relatable feeling and sharing it with 274 00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:13,880 You forward -reheated soundbite leftovers to idiots doing the same 275 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,739 all idiots. 276 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,700 Congrats on your stolen comedy valor. 277 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,880 Uh, sir, this is a Wendy's. 278 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,760 That's from online. 279 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,100 And this guy's done adulting. 280 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,200 So good. 281 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,480 So good. 282 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,000 OK, so the plan is, when they use the blender, we move. 283 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,460 Put on these rollerblades. Next blender, we're through the gate. 284 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,600 Those freeloaders are getting away! 285 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,500 Beach game, activate! 286 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,480 Weren't you trying to get away from us? 287 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,420 Julian, I meant the boat. Sorry, I'm twisted. 288 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,960 YMCA occupation gaze, activate! 289 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:13,940 Peter, the deer! 290 00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:20,849 I already got bit by kids. 291 00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:27,970 That's the last ferry of the day. 292 00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:29,230 It's too far. 293 00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:30,409 Wait, Peter. 294 00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:33,930 Do you still have that cocaine locket that Julian gave you? Yeah, but I wanted 295 00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:36,210 to save it for a special night with my family. 296 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:37,430 Peter. 297 00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,400 Oh, my God. We made it. 298 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,200 Bye. Have a fun trip. 299 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,740 Aren't you mad at us? We're guys. 300 00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:02,580 We get over stuff fast. Come back next summer for our PJ party. 301 00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,300 We'll bring our families. 302 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,800 No, don't. Don't bring them. 303 00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:11,580 Morning, Stewie. 304 00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:18,900 What is this? What are you doing? Well, I can't get you to stop doing memes, so 305 00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:20,880 this exorcism will rid you of them. 306 00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:26,270 I won't recycle images from the office and add my own text to it. I won't 307 00:18:26,270 --> 00:18:28,790 recycle... Oh, Bri, you sweet summer child. 308 00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:30,110 This isn't going to work. 309 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:32,250 We have other ways. 310 00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,490 Chris, but I thought you were on my side. 311 00:18:35,770 --> 00:18:39,930 Well, I'm Gen Z and loyal to no one. Bet you didn't have that on your bingo 312 00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:42,090 card. What is that? 313 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:46,910 You're getting a lobotomy. When I flip the switch, all memes will rush into 314 00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,710 brain and explode out of you. 315 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:49,930 No, please! 316 00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:54,790 It's working! 317 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,430 First world problem. 318 00:18:58,030 --> 00:19:00,950 Cringe. Weird black, but okay. 319 00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:10,910 Stewie, can you talk as yourself? 320 00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:13,530 Am I... am I doing it? 321 00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,190 Oh, thank God, you're back. 322 00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:17,430 I wonder where all those memes went. 323 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,840 This is why we can't have nice things. 324 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,760 Where do you come up with this stuff? 325 00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,520 Home again, home again, giggity -gig. 326 00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,560 Peter, I'm so happy you're home. 327 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:40,340 Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry. I guess I learned that both men and women are 328 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:41,740 bitchy when money is involved. 329 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,440 That's what you learned? 330 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,060 And that I'd rather get yelled at by a woman than get yelled at by a guy. 331 00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:49,060 Oh, a thousand percent. It's safer. 332 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,400 I love you, Lois. 333 00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:55,490 Oh, Peter, I love you, too. I'm glad you're home. 334 00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:00,670 I thought you'd be more mad at me. 335 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:06,070 Oh, I could be mad and have a dozen unopened jars, or I'll forgive you, have 336 00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,890 open the jars and start my soup. 337 00:20:08,130 --> 00:20:09,570 Start with the big Rao's one. 338 00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:15,010 I will, Lois, even though that one always hurts my hand. I'm just so happy 339 00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:16,230 back in a world with women. 340 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:21,300 Good, because I had the craziest dream last night, and I'm going to tell you 341 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:24,360 about it. Okay, so follow me here. It's complicated. 342 00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:27,980 Here's $5 ,000. I want back in. 343 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,820 Sorry, Stewie. I just need to make sure all that meme nonsense is done. 344 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,920 See, he's smirking because he's so proud of himself for ordering a pizza. 345 00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:47,089 Funny, right? 346 00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:48,650 No, not funny or clever. 347 00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:50,450 Good to have you back, buddy. 348 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:53,350 Said no one. 349 00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:59,870 It's funny because it's just like ordering a pizza. That expression is 350 00:20:59,870 --> 00:21:03,350 too big for just ordering food to a place you usually wouldn't. 27688

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