All language subtitles for CHiPs S02E06 Trick or Trick

Just got time to grab
a fast shave before briefing.

Yeah, well, if you're late,
I'll make the usual apologies.

Happy Halloween!

And a Happy Halloween
to you!

You see
what I just did?

Yeah. Well, it's a good thing
you're not superstitious.

Good afternoon, men.

Hi, Grossie, uh.
What's in the bag? Your lunch?

Nope. Guess again.

Apple for the teacher?

Even better.

Voila.

You'll note the resemblance,
of course

to our fearless leader.

Grossie, if the sergeant
notes that

you're gonna be in trouble.

Ah!

What did you do?

I nicked myself.

With an electric razor?
That's not easy.

So far today,
he's ran with 13 black cats

walked under a ladder,
and now this.

Superstitious nonsense.

On the contrary

as a student
of the occult

I find it fascinating.

You would.

Uh, well, Ponch
isn't superstitious

so what difference
does it make?

Right. What difference
does it make?

Well, I'm glad you
feel that way, Ponch.

Because if I were you,
I'd be worried.

Briefing in two minutes.

I'll be there.

'Uh, tonight, in addition
to your normal freeway beats'

you'll be responsible
for patrolling

the adjacent surface streets
as well.

Quite frankly, I'd rather
see you get the witches

and the goblins home safely
than write a fistful of cites.

What about
the hobgoblin, sarge?

Uh-huh! Well, I'm glad
you asked that, Baricza.

Because tonight I am
treating the hobgoblin

as a separate item.

'Which brings me to the point
I wish to make'

'the radio is to be used for
official business only.'

Now, I will explain for the
benefit of any new men present.

Sergeant?

Cahill?

Policepersons?

Ha ha!

I'll explain for the benefit

of any new policepersons
present.

We have a joker
in our midst.

On Halloween, he or she thinks

it's funny to broadcast
certain original material.

Now, I don't happen to care
for my very own hobgoblin

'so this year I plan to
do something about it.'

Which is my way of telling
the hobgoblin to think twice

before he or she
takes the air.

Okay, that's it.

Uh, wait a minute.
Uh, check signals.

Uh, whose is this thing?

I made it, sarge,
for you.

You call this
a jack-o'-lantern?

Where's the candle?

You can't have
a jack-o'-lantern

without a candle
inside it.

Get one.

You got a candle?

- No. Have you?
- No.

I do, in my locker.

Now, listen, what are
you doing with the..

Never mind. I don't
even wanna know.

Well,
what do you think?

It's not bad, hon.

It gets better. Watch.

Wow! You look like
death warmed over.

Nobody will ever
recognize you.

That's the idea,
isn't it?

Alright, let's see
the whole thing now.

I wish I'd have never
let you talk me into this.

Honey,
when I married you

I said for better
or for worse.

Now, we need that money.

You want those goons
to break your other arm?

Now, look, we're lucky.
It's Halloween.

Nobody will think twice
about someone in a costume.

Come on, Eddie.

Tomorrow you can pay
those sharks off

and we can start fresh.

Look on the bright side.

You are a good lady.

I know.

'Get your time for
the hobgoblin broadcast.'

It's fun, it's free,
it's easy.

Baricza

Cahill...person

Ponch.

Here you go, Jon.

Pretty organized there,
Grossie.

A simple plan,
well organized.

That's the key
to my success.

Yeah, well,
good luck tonight.

And good luck to you,
my friend.

Step right up

'and get your
hobgoblin times.'

So I get to play hobgoblin
at 11:30 tonight.

Oh, I'm early.
I'm at 6:15.

Trick or treat,
officer.

You got me, son.

Well, what's it going to be,
trick or treat?

Uh, you're about three blocks
too early. See me later, okay?

'No treat? Then it's
got to be a trick.'

Now, that wasn't very nice, son,
not even on Halloween.

Gonna arrest me?

Oh, I don't know.
What do you think, partner?

Should we put
the handcuffs on him?

Come on, Tommy,
let's go.

The old water pistol
filled with perfume trick.

Hey, Ponch, uh,
would you do me a favor?

Yeah.

Ride downwind.

All I want to
know is, why me?

I live right,
and I'm kind to old ladies.

Yeah, well, you hassle black
cats, walk under ladders

and you cut yourself shaving.

Did I tell you
about the mirror?

No. What about it?

Don't ask.

We have to take the entire lawn.
I'm getting nervous.

He emptied my entire pool,
didn't he?

Fair is fair.

Yeah. By next year,
if you're smart

you're gonna sell your house
and leave town.

That could be.

But this was too good
an opportunity to pass up.

I've seen a lot of sod
being put down

but, uh, never
any being taken up.

You took the words
right out of my mouth.

Well, that ought to take care
of last year and then some.

Remind me, man,
never to play a joke on you.

Phew.

Uh, there's two cops
coming up behind us.

- You think they're after us?
- Who else, pal?

So-so stop. It-it was only a
joke. We'll explain it to 'em.

It might have been a joke to us,
but not to them.

Oh, no, don't do it, Reed.
You're gonna get us killed.

This baby's got power.
I can lose 'em.

That's enough.
Stop this thing.

Not on your life,
buddy.

Hey, you're crazy, Reed,
well, look, we're in a truck

and they're on motorcycles.

They haven't
caught us yet.

Keep the faith, pal.

Just a Halloween prank, fellas.

- No crime intended.
- A prank, huh?

50 miles an hour
through a residential area?

You guys got
some sense of humor.

My-my friend here
panicked there, officer.

I assure you,
it was just a prank.

Last year, the guy that owns
that house drained my pool.

'It was a year ago
tonight, Halloween.'

Now, you can't blame a guy
for trying to get even.

I can't, huh?
Let's see what your friend says.

This ought to do it
till midnight, huh?

Uh, yeah, I should think so.

You get hungry,
speak up. Ha ha ha!

You the one who threatened
to put my son in jail?

Oh, the kid who squirted me
with perfume.

Yeah, my son Tommy Stone.
He's run away.

Julie here told me
what happened.

He said he didn't
want to wear handcuffs

or go to jail.

Hey, look, I'm sorry

but I was just
joking with him.

Fat lot of good
that does now.

Well, look, have you
reported him missing?

Just now.

Well, every officer in the area
will be looking for him.

He'll be found.

The very idea,
telling a little kid

that you're gonna
put handcuffs on him.

What's the matter
with you two, anyway?

You know, wait a minute, mister.

Look, on Halloween, there's a
lot of kids your son's age

that should be escorted
by an adult.

'Now, if you would've been there
this might not have happened.'

And it was a joke.

Yeah, you know, like
perfume in a water gun.

Yeah, well, it may have been
a joke to you two

but not to my son.

Now he's run away,
and you're the cause of it.

Come on.

Kids, you got
a minute?

Listen, you kids happen
to know Tommy Stone?

Yes, sir.
We all know him.

Have you seen him
in the last 15 minutes or so?

We haven't seen him
at all today, have we?

Uh-uh.

Look, if you see him,
would you please

tell him to go home,
because his mom and dad

are really
worried about him.

Oh, yeah,
speaking about adults

you kids should have brought
one along with you tonight.

Come on over here.

There you go, son.

Hey, what are you,
some kind of wise guy?

Huh?

They brought
an adult along.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

I didn't realize, uh--

It's okay. No hard feelings.
Trick or treat.

A treat for everybody.

Listen, if you kids
see Tommy Stone

be sure and tell him
to go home, alright?

'Be careful. Watch out.'

'The hobgoblin's near'

'to warn you of sergeants
who approach from the rear.'

Who's that?

Oh, that's the highway patrol's
very own hobgoblin.

You got
your own ghost?

Are you guys
for real?

Ah, he's just pretending.
That's a policeman.

Alright.
Time to go, kids.

Goodbye.

Bye.

You heard
that broadcast?

It wasn't us, sarge.

I know.

I had you under surveillance
from the corner.

Uh, you found
that missing kid yet?

Uh, he's too young
to have gone very far.

We figure he's hiding.

Oh, and by the way,
Poncherello

that aftershave you're using?
Change it.

You know, my luck
must be changing.

Yeah? What makes
you think so?

Because it was my time
to play hobgoblin

but I forgot.

I wonder who's, uh,
filling in for me?

Uh, who else? Grossie.

Yeah. Remind me to speak to
him about his poetry, eh?

Oh, hey, Paula,
we've got company.

I've almost got it.
Another sec.

You haven't got
another second.

Hello, officers.

Nice evening.

Oh, nuts.

Hello, ladies. Having fun?

I can explain, you see,
we're on this scavenger hunt

and we have
a list of things and--

And on the list
is a street sign.

Yeah? Well, that sign
is city property.

Come on, jump down.

Straight into
the arms of the law.

Now, that wasn't
bad, was it?

No. No, it wasn't.
Thank you.

My pleasure.

'We were going to'

'return the sign tomorrow.'

You believe me, don't you?

As a matter of fact,
yeah, I do.

Well, not only that,
the sign is still in place

'so there's no real
harm done, is there?'

Well, see, it's not
that simple.

There's still intent.

Right, partner?

Uh, yes, definitely.

Look, if you promise
to forget the scavenger hunt

or at least this part of it

I suppose we can
overlook intent.

Oh, yeah, well, maybe
just this once, I suppose.

Tell you what, fellas.

How would you like to come
to a party later tonight?

See why this is
my favorite holiday?

Whoo! Looks even more
spooky tonight.

Yeah, I remember well.

On Halloween, haunted houses
seem twice as spooky.

How come they don't tear
the old place down?

I don't know. Neighborhood
wouldn't be the same.

Well, I'll tell you,
partner

this is one great place
not to be on Halloween.

Now, you're sure you want me
to wait that far away?

We've gone over this
time and time again.

'All anyone's gonna
remember seeing'

is a ghost
running down the street.

- Here's your change.
- Thank you.

Good evening.

Have you found what
you're looking for?

It depends, darling.

On what?

On whether or not you believe
I've got mace in this thing.

Now, if you don't,
just say the word

and I guarantee you'll end up
flat on the floor.

I believe you.
I believe you.

Look, ju-just don't hurt me,
okay? I got a wi--

I know. You got
a wife and kids.

I know all about them.

Put the money
in the sack.

Every man who's ever been
held up has a wife and kids.

It's common knowledge
among us crooks.

That's it.

Now, just follow me.
Right this way.

That's right.

Now, come right over here.

That's it.

Now, you stay right here.
Turn around.

And stay put.

Happy Halloween.

See that?

Yeah. Fastest ghost
in the west.

Help! Police!
Wait! Wait!

I just been robbed
by a ghost!

Down there.

Oh, boy.

Boy, oh, boy.
Here you go.

You alright?
You hurt?

Yeah, I'm okay.
Did you see it?

The mo-most beautiful
thing I ever saw.

A pink elephant
in a white nightie.

'When eavesdropping sergeants
are around and about'

'your alert hobgoblin says
"over and out."'

Grossie, better watch it.

Getraer's gonna be
closing in on him.

If Grossie's half as smart as
our pink elephant in PJ's

Getraer hasn't got a chance.

What are you..
What are you doing?

What're you doin'?

Where were you
two minutes ago?

We could have
used you then.

What's the trouble?

'Well, this woman pulled up
in her car'

jumped out,
grabbed a bag of candy

from one of the kids,
and tore off.

Did you see what kind
of car it was?

Oh, a small car, but what
difference does it make?

She must be
miles away by now.

Well, maybe and maybe not

but we'll keep our eyes
open, alright?

Who lost their candy?

I did.
She stoled it from me.

Come here, skeleton.

Come here.

Dig in there and grab
a couple of handfuls.

It's candy, good stuff.

Alright!

Come on, kids.

Go ahead, kids.
Take some.

That's really nice of you.
Thank you.

We have enough?

One thousand
and twenty-two dollars.

Hey, we did it.
We actually did it.

Honey, I love you.

After we pay
those goons 1,000

we'll have $22 left over.

Susan, I've seen
that look before.

I don't like it.

Look, you're off the hook.

Nobody's gonna break
any more of your bones

but we still do need
eating money.

Why don't we make sure
we have some insurance?

some extra cash?

Susan, we've got away
with it so far.

It can't last.

Sure it can.
One more time for our future.

'We'll just take enough
for a couple of weeks'

'until you get a job.'

One more, please?

Alright. This is the last one,
you promise?

Promise.

'The hobgoblin's warning
to patrolmen out there'

'remember the schedule.'

'This just isn't fair.'

Forgot. It's my turn
to broadcast.

Everybody must be busy
tonight except Grossman.

Yeah. Well,
we'd better have a look.

We've checked everyplace
else out in the neighborhood.

Yeah.

If Tommy Stone is
holed up in this place

I'll say this.

The kid has more guts than
I had when I was his age.

Yeah, well,
think about it.

I mean, if it were
Halloween, which it is

and you were a little kid
who didn't want to be found

where would you go and hide?

If I were a kid, I wouldn't be
caught dead in here.

Well, at least
it wasn't black.

What happened?

Uh, I just put my foot through
the floor up there.

Tommy?

What a mess.

You're gonna arrest me?

Oh.

No, Tommy, no.
We're gonna take you home.

- Officer?
- Yeah?

Will you be mad
if I tell you something?

No, of course not.
What?

You smell funny.

Think they came back
and took it?

That's exactly what I think.

Well, in that case

I say they had
a lot of moxie.

Well, in that case,
we could skip the party

because I don't want to
spend the whole night

cataloging stolen goods.

Now, wait a minute.

They're innocent
until proven guilty.

I say we give them
the benefit of the doubt

and go to the party.

You talked me into it.

'Your hobgoblin's peeved'

'as he fades out of sight'

'cause his pals let him down'

'on this Halloween night.'

You know, it sounds to me like
Grossie's a little bit upset.

What do you think?

You got to hand it
to him, though.

He got away
with it again.

Hey, Ponch!

I can't wait to hear
what this is all about.

Yeah.

Hey, Ponch.

Well, I knew it had to be
sometime. Come in, gentlemen.

Ma'am, we're gonna
get right to the point.

What's this all about?

Well, it's not some
overdeveloped sweet tooth

if that's what
you're thinking.

Well, there goes
my theory.

I lost something,
and the thing I lost

is in some kid's candy bag.

Kid dressed
like a skeleton?

Yesterday,
at a lovely luncheon

my fiance gave me
this beautiful engagement ring.

It was loose.

When you've waited 26 years
for a diamond, gentlemen

when you get one,
you wear it.

I'm beginning
to get the picture.

He will be so upset.

He wanted to take it back
to the jeweler

and I said, "No way.

Once it is on the finger,
it's never coming off."

And you thought
you lost the ring

while you were giving candy
out to the kids, is that it?

The last time I remember
seeing it was just before

some kid dressed in
a skeleton suit came to my door.

You scared a lot
of kids tonight, lady.

You should have called the
police and asked for help.

There's no time, gentlemen.
There's no time.

He is due here at any minute.
We're going to a party..

...or we were.

Before you
passed out candy

you had to reach
in here, didn't you?

Oh, my lord.
I never thought of that.

Well, what do you say
we have a look?

Oh, could I?
Would you mind?

Ju-ju-just let me do it.

Please, oh,
please let it be here.

Please let it be here.
One last chance.

Here, let me
help you here, now.

It's got to
be here. Please.

'Be there somewhere,
anywhere.'

Is this it?

Oh! Oh, you..

You blessed man, thank you.

'Oh, thank you!'

Look, if I was you,
I'd get that sized

'first thing
in the morning.'

Aren't you going to
arrest me?

Well, look.

We haven't had any formal
complaints as of yet

but maybe you better keep
your fingers crossed.

Ah, if you're superstitious,
that is.

Personally, I'm not.

'To all units..'

'A 211 just occurred
at the market'

'corner of Whitsett
and Capistrano.'

'Suspect is female, dressed in
white and wearing ghost makeup.'

'Last seen running south
on Capistrano from Whitsett.'

'Units responding,
identify.'

LA 15,
7-Mary 3 and 4.

Turning north on Capistrano
from Haines.

10-4, 7-Mary 3 and 4.

I told you we were
pushing our luck.

Never mind.
Move this thing.

Come out
with your hands up.

I can't!
I think I got two broken arms!

You're kidding.

No.

Okay, get out.

Put your hands up.

If it hadn't been for
those dumb kids

we'd have still been
honking.

Yeah, lady.
Happy Halloween.

Hi there. Come on in.

Karen and I thought you guys
weren't going to show.

Are you kidding?
This is my favorite night

and the night
is still young.

You guys are late.

Some people you may know
are already here.

Come on.
Let's join the party.

If you guys
hadn't gotten here

we would have lost
the scavenger hunt.

Incidentally,
about that sign

you know, we thought
the intent was..

I told you they'd
think we took it.

Somebody else took it,
but we'll never tell.

Hmm. How did you do
on the scavenger hunt?

'We won it.'

Every team was
supposed to bring in

one police officer,
but our team has two.

Uh, can I buy you guys
a drink? Ladies?

Sure.

Ah. Here you go.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Come on, Metcalf,
don't be shy.

- Thank you.
- There you go,

Jon.

- Oh, thank you.
- There you go.

Listen, did you catch
the hobgoblin, sarge?

Ah, yes.

Could I have your
attention, please?

Uh, with the kind permission
of the hostesses

I would like to propose a toast
to the members of my shift.

Hear, hear.

Um..

...to Sindy Cahill..

...whom, it would seem

uh, neglected to
broadcast at 8:15.

And to good Jon Baker..

...who plain forgot

'which makes his life
a happier lot.'

And, uh..

Poor Frank Poncherello..

...who missed his turn

and left poor Grossman
to make me burn.

And to Artie Grossman..

...who planned the ball

then goofed in a fashion
that cost him all.

As he wrote out the times
on a pad at the station

on the page beneath,
he left an impression.

So help me, friends,
in a glass of wine

as I toast the demise

of a friend of mine.

The Highway Patrol's very own
Halloween hobgoblin.

Happy Halloween.